Who Owns the Olympics?

David Letterman has as much in common with the Fox News Channel as Dick Cheney does with an effective crisis management media strategy. But the two made strange bedfellows this week thanks to NBC Sports.

Both CBS's "The Late Show" and FNC's "Fox and Friends" did what NBC would give up all of its unaired episodes of "Joey" for most of America to do: discuss and promote the 2006 Winter Olympics in Torino, Italy.

The only things that have surpassed Bode Miller and Jeremy Bloom as the Games' biggest flops have been NBC's ratings for the first five nights of events, which were down 36% from Salt Lake City in 2002 and 42% from Lillehammer in 1994, according to USA Today. It seems American fans would rather watch Simon Cowell rip a chubby 17-year-old girl to shreds than witness Ted Ligety shred powder for a gold medal — especially when both are on tape delay.

You'd think the one thing NBC would want to do in a ratings tailspin would be to attract the viewers that are not currently watching the games. And the easiest way to do that is with the free advertising that comes when other networks show highlights from the Olympics.

Only there's this little thing called "exclusivity." And NBC treats the concept with an intense reverence, even if it subverts its own success.

NBC paid what amounts to the gross national product of several African countries for the rights to the last three Olympics. Part of that deal is exclusive ownership for all things Torino Games, including the availability of highlights from the day's events. So if you're a sportscaster looking to fill your three minutes on a weekday night with some skiing, skating, or curling highlights from earlier that morning, you're out of luck: they're embargoed until NBC's Olympic broadcast day is over.

Which brings us back to Letterman and Fox News Channel. Dave — who, let's remember, isn't exactly on NBC's Christmas card list — ran a bit this week in which he told the studio audience that "The Late Show" wanted to roll some Olympic highlights, but were hamstrung by NBC's exclusivity policy. So, instead, Letterman ran the only footage he could: a completely blurry and unfocused five seconds of Ligety winning gold. The clip featured clear audio, but a picture so murky it made me pray I never have glaucoma. It was typical Letterman snark, and couldn't have been aimed at a better target.

Same thing with "Fox and Friends" the following morning. The crew wanted to show some Olympic hockey highlights, but couldn't break the exclusivity rule. So it did the next best thing: it gave two talking heads hockey sticks and put them in front of a green screen, back-projecting a helmet-less, black-and-white game from the 1960s as they read some scores. It was "Mystery Science Theater 3000"-level tomfoolery.

Is this really what NBC wanted? For the Winter Games, already marginalized by an apathetic public and an ever-inattentive television audience, to become a punch-line in a series of jokes about the network's miserly approach to highlight sharing? Did Dick Ebersol's company pay $613 million to become something akin to "Stupid Network Tricks?"

Obviously, broadcast exclusivity is nothing new. Watch any weekend of ESPNews, and you'll see games that need to "go final" before any highlights can make the broadcast. Most of these games are going to be NFL games, which due to network contract restrictions prohibit highlights to even be shown on a competing network's halftime program on most occasions.

But the NFL can basically do whatever the hell it wants to do (just ask the players' association and The Rolling Stones) because it's the single most successful sports organization in America and perhaps the world. While the Winter Games have had extraordinary success in the past — drawing 184 million Americans for the 2002 Olympics — clearly, this year they've landed with a thud, and NBC's domineering plan to horde every highlight and consume every accomplishment is at the core of its failure.

Try to follow this logic: NBC is serving as a provider of content for ESPN.com for the Olympics. Fans who click certain Olympic links on the ESPN site will be sent to NBC's Winter Games site for exclusive videos and articles. "We want to get in front of that audience and put in front of them our content and promotion we do for the Olympics on television and the Internet," NBC Olympics President Gary Zenkel told the South Florida Sun-Sentinel, regarding ESPN.com's readers.

Okay, so the Internet fans will get some unusual synergy between NBC and ESPN. But the much more sizable (and legitimately measured) ESPN television audience? Those folks will still have to wait for embargoed highlights from stingy old NBC television. Does that make any sense?

In Fairfax, Virginia this weekend, the same "exclusivity" nonsense is creating more headaches. The George Mason University Patriot Center was scheduled to host a "Clash of the Champions" bout between boxers Jimmy Lange and Joey Gilbert on Saturday night. You remember them, right? Two guys from a reality boxing TV show that fared so well in the ratings it couldn't find a home on NBC's moribund schedule and is currently in development hell with ESPN?

This is Lange's second fight at the Patriot Center, basically his home turf. The first fight was covered by the local sports television show I work for, and covered in a big way: highlights of the entire card of fights, press conference coverage, and exclusive interviews with the boxers. This time, however, we've been told that we're not allowed to film any of the fights because a new broadcast partner has exclusive rights to eventually televise the card — on a cable TV network based in Florida, no less. Meanwhile, an event whose first edition was heavily covered and whose second edition was heavily hyped will now be off the radar screen for a key local media outlet.

Again, does that make any sense?

What it all comes back to is the fact that this new boxing broadcaster is just like NBC. The Peacock has made an obscene financial commitment to the Games and feels like it needs to control every aspect of information dissemination in order to maximize that investment. Meanwhile, a tactic that should be forcing viewers to find its Olympic coverage each day is instead pushing American athletes into utter obscurity — even their inevitable appearances on the competing network morning shows draw apathetic responses from viewers and hosts.

NBC should be applauded for once again putting on an amazing television spectacle from a technological and depth-of-coverage perspective. But by keeping a death-grip on what should be public-domain content, NBC Sports has placed a shroud of anonymity over Turin.

Or Torino.

Or whatever...

Random Thoughts

Speaking of NBC Sports and its partner in NHL hockey, the Outdoor Life Network, I was waaaaaay too quick to praise their change in direction when it came to television presentation of the league. Suddenly, I'm seeing and hearing the same grating personalities that failed to connect with viewers for the last decade on ESPN's pathetic hockey coverage: hacks like Ray Ferraro and Brian "Swedish Muppet" Engblom, whose tedious delivery and obvious analysis should have been left behind when the NHL changed dance partners.

Meet the new bosses, same as the old bosses — how long before Steve Levy's back screaming "CENTERING FEED!!!" on every shot from the point?

Rumors out of England have the band Coldplay contemplating a break-up, which would deprive music fans of several more albums of songs that sound exactly like "Clocks."

I'm sure lead singer Chris Martin will reconsider when he finds out U2 has never even broken up once...

According to an ESPN poll, there is a 50/50 split of baseball fans when it comes to whether Sammy Sosa belongs in the Baseball Hall of Fame.

I took a quick poll myself of people currently writing this column, and I found out that 100% of respondents think those who wouldn't put Sosa in the Hall are complete hypocritical morons.

Again, nice of the majority of baseball fans to wake up now about the steroid thing. Where were you during those halcyon days in the Summer of 1998? You were jacking off to Mark McGwire highlights, just like Mike Lupica, that's where. You have absolutely no right to show moral indignation now if you didn't at least raise an eyebrow then.

The bottom line is that Sammy's fifth on the all-time home run list, and he has more RBIs than Willie McCovey, Willie Stargell, Joe DiMaggio, and Mickey Mantle. He has more total bases than Roberto Clemente and Mike Schmidt. He's won an MVP award. If McGwire is in and Barry Bonds is in, then Sosa's in. And if you're going to bring up the cork thing, you better damn well have a good reason for why Phil Niekro and Gaylord Perry should be enshrined after doing everything but taking the seems off the ball with a power sander...

Finally, Martin Lawrence is scheduled to team with John Travolta and Tim Allen for a movie called "Wild Hogs," about a group of middle-aged bikers who encounter the real Hells Angels on an open-road adventure.

I'm sorry, but if Travolta's doing a movie with "hogs" in the title and neither Arnold Horshack or Freddie "Boom Boom" Washington are in the cast, count me out...


SportsFan MagazineGreg Wyshynski is the Features Editor for SportsFan Magazine in Washington, DC, and the Senior Sports Editor for The Connection Newspapers of Northern Virginia. His book "Glow Pucks and 10-Cent Beer: The 101 Worst Ideas in Sports History" will be published in spring 2006. His columns appear every Saturday on Sports Central. You can e-mail Greg at [email protected].

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