No Respect, Seattle? No Problem

If I hear one more coffee-swilling Seattlite whine about Sunday's betting line, I'm going to rewire my radio and start listening to police dispatches instead. Lack of respect? You're playing a team that went on the road to win three straight playoff games and beat arguably the NFL's two best teams.

Did you think football fans were suddenly going to flock to the power of Seahawk Green?

Their quarterback is Grizzly Adams, and your guy is next in line for a Propecia endorsement — not exactly the chic pick.
Fortunately, they're playing the game at Ford Field in Detroit, not the Sports Book at Caesar's Palace. Rejoice, Seahawks Fan, there are at least four reasons your city is going to be throwing a victory parade next week.

1) Logos on both sides of your helmets — Think of the Steelers' one-sided headgear as a symbol of the organization's postseason woes. They just can seem to finish anything — even decals. Sure, Bill Cowher has taken his boys to six AFC championship games in the past 12 seasons, but I think we all know how well that's worked out. Heck, if the Steelers hadn't run into the only team in the league with more of a flair for gagging away the big one (the fighting Peyton Mannings), you might be complaining about being 10-point underdogs against the Colts.

Never fear, Seattle fans. If one team has defined playoff disappointment over the past decade, it would be your Super Bowl opponent. After basking in the underdog shadow for three games, the Steelers will now play the role of favorite. When has that ever been a good thing for Pittsburgh fans?

2) Underrated run defense — Troy Polamalu will get plenty of ink this week, and why not? It takes commitment to stay in the shower long enough to put conditioner on that much hair. Then again, Seahawks Fan, you have your very own standout USC alum in Lofa Tatupu, and that Seahawk front seven isn't half bad. In fact, the Steelers' unit has been only marginally better against the run this season, and they'll be facing Shaun Alexander on Sunday. You? A dinged-up Willie Parker.

Nothing against Fast Willie, but only one of these guys has an MVP award on his mantle.

3) You've been there before — Well, actually, the Seahawks haven't been there before. And, Seahawks Fan, you definitely haven't been there before. But some of the guys on your team have played on the sport's biggest stage, and it worked out pretty well for them. Five Seahawks have stood in the Super Bowl limelight and three (Joe Jurevicius, Grant Wistrom, and Tom Rouen) have oversized jewelry to show for their efforts.

And let's not forget about the captain of this ship. Mike Holmgren has already been to the mountaintop and hey, have we mentioned yet that Bill Cowher has never won a Super Bowl?

For their part, the Steelers do have Willie Williams, a defensive back who played sparingly in the Steelers' last ill-fated trip to the big dance against the Cowboys. The only problem for Willie is that his playing time hasn't increased much in the last 10 years, and a nickel cornerback who's had a cup of coffee in the Super Bowl is about as useful as a water boy who once worked the New York City Marathon.

4) Hasselbeck's crazy — Any doubters need only to refer to the recent interview in which he raves about the size of the bathroom on the Seahawks' charter flight. Shouldn't this guy be holding a cardboard sign somewhere and mumbling about the "damn lying squirrels?"

There's no doubt Matt's a smart guy, but he may be a little too goofy to get nervous. It's just a theory.

Of course, if the Steelers come out and lay the wood to the ugliest shade of green (or is it blue?) ever created, it's not my fault, Seahawk Fan, and I reserve the right to deny any and all claims listed above.

Except one: stop whining!