Friday, January 27, 2006
Sports Gospel's Book of Prognostication
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Bode Miller. Bode Miller. Bode Miller. Bode Miller. Bode Miller. Bode Miller. Bode Miller. Bode Miller. Bode Miller. That skier guy. Bode Miller. Everybody look — Bode Miller. Bode Miller. Bode Miller. Whoa, Bode Miller. Bird? Plane? Bode Miller? Yep, Bode Miller.
Okay, that should about do it. I apologize for the first paragraph, but when a guy pulls a gun on you and asks for your money, what do you do? Do you try to fight valiantly back, to show the guy that you don't take no guff from anyone? Or, like most sane people, do you just give the man your wallet and hope that he will go away? Most people will go with the latter, and seeing as how I'm not exactly geographically set to throw down with Bode Miller, he can have my wallet as long as he promises to go away.
For those of you who don't own a television, read the newspapers, listen to the radio, peruse the Internet, scan the skies for smoke signals, or converse with carrier pigeons, Bode Miller is a skier for the United States and will be competing in the 2006 Winter Olympics in a few weeks in Italy. We are currently in that pre-Olympic "let's hype up the hot female athletes and the crazy-guy-athletes-that-no-one-will-care-about-unless-they make-you-care-about-them" phase, so now people think this skier is important.
Bode Miller has taken well to his platform and has used it to spout off about how he skies under the influence of alcohol and about how Barry Bonds and Lance Armstrong cheat. Unfortunately, as we are still a few weeks from the Olympics, we are forced to hear more outrageous statements from Miller.
The funny part about all of this is he claims that he loathes excessive media attention. He reminds me of the obnoxiously drunk girl at a party who will spend five minutes trying to tell you she's not drunk, and then the next time you see her, she's trying to pour an inanimate object into her drink. Bottom line: he's not fooling anyone.
Does he care about Barry Bonds and Lance Armstrong? Probably not. Like any attention-whore, he just wants people to notice him. And I think it's in all of our best interests if we comply, with no questions asked, so he will just go away. He won't go quietly, as he will probably go kicking and screaming and maybe even with a desperate Michael Phelps-esque DUI, but that's a fair price to pay for his disappearance.
Anyway, I know my NFL picks have hit a rut. And I know the Steelers won last week and probably won because I didn't end up using the black magic like I said I would. I can explain all of that, and I will also make up for all of it by giving you my NCAA tourney dark horse (which will undoubtedly help you recoup any money you have lost from my picks yet, and it will secure you financially for days to come), but that comes next week in the Super Bowl extravaganza.
In this edition of the picks, I'm going straight to college basketball games, which is where I earn my keep. Obviously, they don't put lines out this far in advance, so I'll give you my prediction, but if you want to keep it safe, then play the moneyline.
As always, BetOnSports.com is giving an additional 10% signup bonus to all Sports Gospel readers, so make sure to type in "Sports Gospel Promo" to get your bonus. On to the picks.
Saturday Picks
No. 5 Texas over No. 22 Oklahoma
This game is at Oklahoma, but frankly, if Texas is giving any less than 12 points, throw the house behind the Longhorns. Oklahoma shouldn't be ranked and Texas might not even lose another Big 12 game. Oklahoma's frontcourt duo of Taj Gray and Kevin Bookout is woefully overrated and Longhorn senior P.J. Tucker has been playing good basketball lately.
Arizona over No. 25 North Carolina
This is one of those games that could go either way, depending on if North Carolina decides to show up. Arizona needs this game more than UNC, so I would expect to see Hassan Adams and company handle the Tar Heels by 5-8 points. It will definitely be a game worth watching.
Xavier over Dayton
This game will fly under a lot of radars, but should have a ridiculous line. If Xavier is giving any less than 10 points, steal as much money as you can, use it to hire a group of thieves, begin robbing cities and countries of any disposable income you can acquire, and put it all on the Muskies. They are coming off a pair of tough losses, which may make the line under 10, and are at home against an inferior Dayton squad. Dayton, meanwhile, is coming off a pair of wins over some of the worst programs in Division 1 basketball. Dayton hasn't beaten Xavier in Cincinnati in decades and they certainly won't do it with inferior talent on Saturday.
Sunday Picks
Minnesota over No. 11 Indiana
Minnesota should be getting around 7-9 points in this game, so if you like to feel adventurous, take the Golden Gophers. They are tough to beat at home and have a talented, yet underachieving team. They stand a solid chance of upsetting the Hoosiers and definitely are worth an extra glance when looking at the weekend's games.
Ohio over Miami (OH)
This game will certainly fly under most radars, but it's Abercrombie U visiting the No. 2 party school in the nation. My suggestion — throw your money behind what school you would rather attend. If you wager on Miami, then pop-up your collar so people everywhere will realize you are a loser. The Bobcats are coming into this game after a tough road loss, but they have the most talent in the MAC and are a strong team at home. Ohio wins this matchup by at least five, but likely closer to 10-12 points.
Monday Picks
No. 1 UConn over No. 10 Pittsburgh
This is an intriguing matchup because you never know which UConn team will show up. Still, the Huskies should be strong enough to beat an overrated Pitt team by a good 8-12 points. They are the top-ranked team in the nation for a reason and they will prove it on Monday.
The Sports Gospel According to Mark is sponsored by BetOnSports.com. BetOnSports.com gives you the greatest sports action to bet on. Wager on football, cricket, boxing, Rugby, horse racing, and more. Mark Chalifoux is also a weekly columnist for SportsFan Magazine. His columns appear every Tuesday on Sports Central. You can e-mail Mark at [email protected].
Sorry your CBB picks this weeks haven't been better.
Ohio is now 6-3 in the MAC. Akron is 8-1, and their RPI's are about the same. Akron's one conference loss does indeed come at Ohio's hands, but it was a 3 point Ohio win in Athens. So I think your comment about Ohio having the most talent in the MAC is debatable. But I'm an Akron homer. Good call on IND/MINN.