The late Jimmy Hoffa — wherever he is buried — would be proud, as 2005 turned out to be the year of the union in sports.
John Lennon, who was murdered 20 years ago, would not. If he were alive today, he'd say, "All we are saying is give (labor) peace a chance."
While Ricky Williams hopes the powers that be will someday legalize it, his former league is busy unionizing it. After HBO's Bob Costas noted that the NFL was viewed as a "model of labor peace, with owners and players both prospering," CNNSI.com's Peter King chimed in with a dose of reality, citing NFLPA Executive Director Gene Upshaw as saying he is "very alarmed at the lack of progress" toward a new CBA. Upshaw said earlier in the year of the state of CBA negotiations, "It's not belief that we won't get a deal done. It's not a threat. It's the reality of where we are."
Where we were was in a landscape where three of the four major sports faced serious labor issues in 2005.
Tiger Woods let us know that even the lovable gentlemen of golf are not unaware of the idea of unionization, saying if the PGA Tour mandated tournament appearances, "then you're going to get into maybe a players' union."
The National Labor Relations Act guarantees the right "to organize and to bargain collectively ... or to refrain from all such activity." So if you can't beat 'em, join ... a union, right?
In that spirit, here are some groups that in '05 considered going the way of the Teamsters:
Participants in the Scripps National Spelling Bee — The students who competed in the 78th annual Scripps National Spelling Bee on June 1-2 less than a week before the event sent a letter to sponsor E.W. Scripps demanding an increased percentage (from zero) of revenue generated by Scripps from the competition. Since no one at Scripps actually knew what the company did or how it made money, the spellers were offered instead a free thesaurus and a guest appearance by renowned filmmaker and grown-up geek Peter Jackson at the pre-event party.
A deal seemed imminent until Scripps' memo of understanding spelled "receive" incorrectly, at which time negotiations broke down. The SNSB union President said, "We as spellers can not in good faith participate in a competition sponsored by a company that fails to adhere to basic spelling rules." When asked to elaborate, the union head deadpanned, "I before e except after c."
Current and former cast members of MTV's "Road Rules" and "Real World" — Led by "Wanna Be a VJ" winner Jesse Camp, the current and former cast members of MTV's "Real World" and "Road Rules" formed the Real World Road Rules Association (RWRR). While Camp never appeared in either show, he was quick to mention that he knows "a thing or two about 15 minutes of fame." The cast members threatened to not appear in any more seasons of the shows, including "Gauntlet," "Inferno," "Battle of the Sexes," or any other crossover show, if they were not granted assurances by the shows' producers that they would not get ridiculed (or pummeled, as was the case with Danny in the Austin season) in public during filming.
The shows' producers responded with the following statement: "We've reviewed the request of the RWRR Association and have determined that since most of the casts are, in fact, annoying tools, there is not much we can do about the public ridiculing. Furthermore, if any cast member chooses to break the terms of his or her contract and not continue with a show, we will replace them with another too ... uh, I mean cast member."
Poker players — Talking about the possibility of simultaneous lockouts by the NBA and NHL, ABC's Al Michaels said, "Pretty soon, the only sport left playing will be poker, and then they'll unionize." Well, it almost happened. The short-lived Poker Players Players' Union Web site read, "The focus of the PPPU is to make sure the players who brought this sport such incredible popularity are compensated accordingly for the sport's tremendous boom." The PPPU hoped to gain the support of all the world's best players.
A PPPU spokesperson in a statement said, "We're prepared to boycott the 2006 WSOP if our demands are not met." These demands included regular coverage in the first 15 minutes of ESPN's "SportsCenter" and a presence by at least one of the top 10 players in the world at every major celebrity game.
The spokesperson added, "We want representation at these celebrity games, which we consider an additional source of guaranteed income. And unlike the celebrities, we reserve the right not to donate our winnings to charity." Notable celebrity poker players include Don Cheadle, Coolio and Sarah Silverman, all of whom had no comment. The PPA also wanted "real commentators, not Norm Chad."
IFOCE — The International Federation of Competitive Eating (www.ifoce.com), as part of its attempt to become an Olympic sport, considered forming a union in an effort to obtain funding from the USOC. The union's first initiative would have been to set up a "feeder" program in junior high schools across the country. The Federation was to try to capitalize on the countless number of unsanctioned eating contests that take place in school lunchrooms each day. Japanese sensation Takeru Kobayashi, who is widely recognized as the world's best eater, currently dominates the sport. "If the U.S. is to develop someone who can challenge Kobayashi's record of 57 cow brains in 15 minutes, he or she will have to start early," said the IFOCE Commissioner. "Plucking the top eaters from the cafeterias and putting them into rigorous, organized training programs is the first step."
World RPS Society — The World Rock Paper Scissors Society's mission statement says it "is involved in many areas of the sport." (www.rpschamps.com). That's right, it's a sport. It's no NASCAR, but judging by the media exposure (CBC, BBC, Rolling Stone magazine, "Late Night with Conan O'Brien"), it's a sport on the rise. But rumors of performance-enhancing drugs, possible intervention by Congress, and biased officiating almost forced the top players to unionize.
One participant ousted early from the '05 tournament pulled a (Jeff) Van Gundy and said an RPS "official not working the 2005 event" told him that referees were looking specifically at left-handed throwers. The unnamed source: "We need to bond to protect our rights. Right now our sport is being cut up (presumably with a scissors) and, if this negative attention and publicity continue, we will fold (like paper). We are truly caught between a rock and a hard place."
Other groups that threatened, but ultimately settled: People for the Ethical Treatment of Terrell Owens (PETTO); What Brown Can Do For Us, which represented the rights of teams interested or rumored to be interested in acquiring the services of vagabond coach Larry Brown; Capture the Flag Association; Union of National Pro Fastpitch Fantasy League Owners #151.
Let's hope for peace in 2006 — both in labor and on earth.
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