Taking Care of Business

Every now and then comes a time when you just have to step back and take care of business. That's why this week's column is filled with unrelated ramblings, notes, and e-mails that have accumulated over the past few weeks. Next week, will be another Sports Gospel and I'm planning to finish 2005 strong, so make sure to keep an eye for the rest of this month's columns.

* The Cincinnati Bengals are a good football team with a great offense. I am 100% behind them, I get what they are all about, and I am going to pull for them in the playoffs. It's great for the franchise, great for Marvin Lewis, great for the city of Cincinnati. That being said, this team will never get to the Super Bowl. Not this season. They don't have the defense to win it. They have gone this far on the turnover differential, which is crazy, and this team will be a force next season once they get Madieu Williams back and draft some guys to help with the run support, but they can't get that this year. Still a good team that has a chance to make some noise, but it will be a miracle if they reach the Super Bowl.

Of course, if they do get there, it will be because of their great offense. Obviously, the best known cog in that offense is the outspoken Chad Johnson. I love Chad, great teammate, hard worker, gets along fantastically with his coaches, I love his celebrations, and there is no question he is a great receiver. He just isn't a big-game receiver. When it comes down to it, if you look at the last seven big games he has played in during his career, he only showed up for one of them — at home against Indy. He is a huge reason why that Cincy offense is so good, but bottom line: if it's the last play of the Super Bowl and I'm Carson Palmer, I'm throwing the ball to T.J. Houshmanzadeh.

* Speaking of Indy, can we put all the "play for 16-0, not the Super Bowl" talk to rest? I know people are sick of the '72 Dolphins and I know people want to see another team go undefeated, but that team can't fall into that trap. Immortality? Not if they choked in the playoffs. Their story is then one of a fantastic choke job, not as being the world champions. Dungy said it best when he said they don't give out rings for 16-0.

* A few weeks back, I mentioned the crazy fan in Philly who tried to spread his mother's ashes on the field. Obviously, in that column, I made a reference to Ted Williams and how his son froze him, and I got the following note from author Jack Polidoro. Jack has recently released his second book on Ted Williams, this one is a novel titled "Brain Freeze -321F." A quick synopsis from his website (LongTailPublishing.com):

Reginald "Lefty" Sanford, a famed Negro Leagues baseball player, dies and is frozen in a cryonics facility in Arizona against his will. Jonathan Bishop of Mizaronics is fired after revealing a catastrophic event that occurred during Sanford's preservation. Rachel Geary, a Phoenix reporter and Wesley Thomas Washington, a noted baseball biographer, champion the efforts to expose Reggie's "frozen casket of absurdity," ironically with the advocacy of Red Sox icon, Ted Williams.

I haven't read it myself, so I'm not necessarily endorsing it, but it sounds like it may be worth a shot. Jack calls it Ted's "payback" to his son, John Henry. Interesting side note: Jack has been working with Ted's daughter, Bobby Jo, to try and free him from Alcor — three years to date — so props to him for that.

* After my column on the Get Buckets Brigade (which was loved by every non-Celtic fan), I received more than a few emails from members. Most notable is the fact that they have a website, GetBucketsBrigade.com. Supposedly, the group operates like a well-oiled machine, but it's a long season. There is still plenty of time for things to get out of control. I did get some great e-mails from members that may have missed the point, but still deserve some mention.

obviously your a pompous ass who is so full of himself and hot air that you have no idea what it is to be a true fan. Its great when sports critics like yourself just sit on their lazy butts and see the negative in everything and you are a writer for a FAN magazine. I find that hard to believe, but some people will read anything!

And:

Why don't you get off your butt and go and see for yourself what the brigade is all about and then state an opinion. Did you ever consider maybe Ricky wanted to use his money to give something back to his fans, his #1 fans. I guess if you could find the time to write him a letter then you deserved to be at the audition and obviously he had to cut it off at some point.Do you see the Kobe's and the James' of the NBA doing anything for their fans? The "groupie" was not chosen because of her tattoo. No one knew about the tattoo until the auditions were over. She was probably also chosen because of the content of her letter and the audition was just an add on for the fun of it. Sounds to us fans like you have a bit of Davis envy?


by a girl with "CELTICS #12" tattooed on her ankle.

I have a theory that this may or may not have been written by the tattooed member of the GBB. Either that, or it's another random girl with a "Celtics #12" tattoo in the same place on her body. Of course, I did say the following in that column. For starters, he said he was most impressed by a girl with CELTICS #12 tattooed on her ankle. What the hell is that going to do for a cheering section? Is she going to point to her ankle when Ricky needs a boost? I bet she only showed up to the audition because she missed the groupie tryout. Either way, any cheering section worth its salt isn't going to be anchored by some girl who has some pro-Davis ink. That just won't fly.

So I may have deserved that response. Then again, if I had to be full of two things — the two I would pick would be money and candy, but myself and hot air aren't far down the list. I was also informed that this girl could kick my ass given the chance, so that's something I will always have to carry with me when I'm in the Boston area. As far as being envious of Davis, I told her I couldn't care less about him when I replied to her e-mail. On second thought, it would completely rule to have my own fan section, so I do admit I'm somewhat envious.

You must guzzle hate-r-ade for breakfast lunch and dinner. Have you seen any of the Celtics games this year? Since I live in Cleveland(yeah, I'm a Clevelander whose favorite player is Ricky Davis, still angry I was too youngto join 'Ricky's Renegades') I only saw 1 game and he didn't even shoot the ball that well but he was still impressive especially when you consider he was gettin booed like Kobe in Denver. I'm curioes about who your favorite player is and if he buys a section of season tickets for a group of his fans. Probably not, Ricky Davis is one of the most underrated players in the league and is probably better than your favorite player. At this point I'm just writing more so you have to waste time reading it. Over 20 points per game, 6 assists per game, 4 rebounds per game and 2 steals per game. ANd i almost forgot, he's in the top 5 in the league in minutes per game. He's basically been an all-star this year, so go ahead and try to be funny but you're just a loser who thinks he's sweet for bashing a player he doesn't like, I wish I was as cool as you.


Bob

This is just a great, great e-mail and all because of one key line: "At this point I'm just writing more so you have to waste time reading it." That made my day. I'm sure Bob wishes he was as cool as me and I do think I'm sweet for bashing a player (although I didn't really bash him) I don't like (I actually have no feeling towards Ricky one way or the other). I'm writing more so you have to waste time reading it — that is just brilliant. Of all the blasts I've had from people, this has to rank near the top. The "you suck" e-mails can be repetitive, but the "at this point, I'm just writing more so you have to waste time reading it" e-mail is fresh. Very well done, Bob.

All in all, the GBB seems like a very loyal group of fans and a very dedicated bunch. They didn't really seem to get the point of the column, but I'm impressed with their dedication and overwhelming affection for Ricky. Hopefully, someday, I will get to watch a game in the Get Buckets Brigade (of course, I will then be risking getting my ass kicked by that girl, but life can be boring if you don't take risks).

* Finally, I have been asked by several people why I chose BetOnSports as a sponsor. It's a decision I didn't take lightly and my answer for that is:

1) They are well-known. I didn't want to align myself with some crooked, fake Internet scam or poorly-run sportsbook. BOS has done a lot to establish themselves as professional and one of the better-respected sports books online. First, they are publicly traded on the London Stock Exchange, so it's not like this is a fly-by-night operation. Second, they get their name out there. They have Tom Arnold as a spokesperson and sponsor No. 37 NASCAR driver Mike Skinner. (Okay, these moves let you know they are legit, but aren't exactly a wringing endorsement for the company. Tom Arnold is, well, Tom Arnold. There is very little about him that says success. Also, I like what they are doing by sponsoring a NASCAR driver, but it's not like Skinner is taking the racing world by storm. Still though, it shows that they are legit.)

They also do a big party to kick-off football season and sponsor all kinds of tailgate parties and the like, and who doesn't enjoy a good party? They also sponsor golf tournaments and boxing matches and the like, which helps with their visibility. You know these people can't just take your money and run, because they have nowhere to hide. I just feel it's a little more secure to go with one of the big books in the industry if you are going to get involved with online wagering. And, everyone is doing it, they have ads on ESPN Radio, in USA Today's sports weekly, all over the Internet, and on billboards around the country, how could I withstand that type of peer pressure?

2) So after establishing that they were legit, the second big reason is that they are charitable. I'm not talking just giving to charities, because they do that and I definitely respect that, but they give back to you poor saps, the people who take the time to read the Sports Gospel. They don't hesitate to give you special bonuses just for reading, and today is no different. If you sign up today and type "Sports Gospel Bonus" into the promo code, you will get an additional 10% bonus, on top of every other bonus they have.

This was a big point for me, I wanted someone that would be willing to do things for the people that let me get away with what I do, so to those of you who enjoy using your sports knowledge to make some extra money on the side (or throw it away on ridiculous eight-team parlays), make sure to check them out, get your bonus, and play responsibly (I feel like your mother now). They also have a big 12 days of Christmas promotion going on, so make sure to check that out, as well.

Now that I have taken care of everything that had been building up the past few weeks, things will get back to normal. I would spend some time now giving a preview of the epic Sports Gospels that are to come for the month of December (and they will be epic), but I don't want people to think I've gone Bob's route and I'm writing just so you have to waste time reading it.

The Sports Gospel According to Mark is sponsored by BetOnSports.com. BetOnSports.com gives you the greatest sports action to bet on. Wager on football, cricket, boxing, Rugby, horse racing, and more. Mark Chalifoux is also a weekly columnist for SportsFan Magazine. His columns appear every Tuesday on Sports Central. You can e-mail Mark at [email protected].