During the MLB playoffs, there was plenty of talk about the need for a new steroid policy in baseball. Congress threatened the players association and they made excuses, and I remember doing a show during the playoffs where we had a plethora of listeners call in to voice their displeasure with Congress getting involved. It was during that time that I made an offhand joke that after they were done with steroids, they should look at the BCS next. They are done with steroids, and now they are focusing on the BCS. And it's the best thing that has ever happened to sports.
After it was announced that the chairman of a congressional committee had called a hearing on the "controversial system used to determine college football's national champion," there was a great deal of backlash. Most people had the same general thought — why the hell is Congress going to waste their time with this?! To be honest, I had the same thought at first, too; it just didn't make much sense. On second thought, however, there is nothing bad about this at all.
First, note to Congress: sports fans complain — a lot. That's just what we do. In fact, most sports fans can't function without some sort of conflict or complaint — it's what truly brings sports fans together. There will always be something wrong, so get used to it and try not to take it so seriously. It's going to get the point where I'm nervous to complain about things like Cincinnati trading Sean Casey because I don't want to watch him paraded around in front of some congressional committee on C-SPAN.
That being said, much good can come from this. When I read this story last week, I immediately thought about my lame joke and was surprised that it actually came true, but then it hit me — maybe this doesn't have to be a joke. Steroids: check. BCS: working on it. The big question is what comes next? Let's be honest, Congress can get things done, even if it's through pressuring the people who actually make the decisions by having these absurd hearings. I say let's roll with this, don't stop with the BCS. In fact, there are plenty of other areas for Congress to tackle.
Pete Rose — Let's face it, he should be in the Hall of Fame. This has been a huge issue in sports in the past 15 years and it is time to put an end to it once and for all. There are druggies in the Hall, there will be steroid users in the Hall, so it's only fitting to let in a gambler. The HOF should be a reward for what players did on the field and Pete Rose never gambled as a player. He's one of the best hitters to play the game, so it's time for Congress to finally put this issue to bed and put Pete in.
NBA dress code — Look, people want to make a big deal about this, but I say we just have John McCain pull some of the NBAers into one of those crazy special hearings, yell some stuff they don't really understand in an intimidating and degrading way, and then they will feel like maybe it's not such a big deal (this is a crazy issue even for the NBA, especially when Allen Iverson is the voice of reason).
Of course, Senator McCain is no match for the wit of some of the players in the NBA, because you never know if Tim Duncan would pull another "this is basically retarded" blast out during the hearing. I would have to think that someone like John McCain would begin frothing at the mouth if Duncan did something like that though. It would probably seem more like a kid getting scolded after breaking a window playing in a neighborhood pickup game, only the kid refuses to admit how that ball ended up in some guy's living room. All in all, it would be pretty entertaining and make people feel a lot better about it.
Crazy owners — Congress could play a vital role in dropping the hammer on any franchise owner that's a big enough "Richard" to screw with his city's fans. That includes owners who threaten to move the team for ridiculous reasons or for destroying good stadiums that don't really need to go. It would also include owners like Bill Wirtz of the Chicago Blackhawks, who so blatantly disrespects his fans that it is sickening. He would definitely get his comeuppance, but he'd have to get in line behind Tom Benson. I'm sure a hearing of this type would be lengthy and drawn out, but if the members of Congress were really worth their salt, it would just go something like this.
Tom Benson walks into room with attorneys and such and sits at a table.
Senator: Are you Tom Benson?
Tom Benson: Yes, I am.
(Senator walks around his table, slowly walks up to Tom, and then slaps him across the face.)
(FYI, if you are reading this trying to pick your shot on something to send me some hate e-mail about, you could go this route and play either the "since when has our government ever done anything to help New Orleans" card or you just even come up with a clever "our government has already done enough to help that city, they need to start taking care of their own troubles." Anytime something slightly political comes up in a column, I will always get blasted by those on the left and those on the right. What does that tell you? To borrow a phrase from John Chaney, "you can't change stupidity.")
Ticket prices — Partly an offshoot from the above and as cliché as it may sound, ticket prices are flat-out ridiculous. Unbelievably ridiculous. It shouldn't cost hundreds of dollars to attend a game — things have just gotten out of control. Congress would definitely have to get involved just so we wouldn't have to hear those incredibly lame "every team sells $10 ticket" excuses from people like Mark Cuban, because while there may be two or three seats that go at that rate, most fans don't have a prayer of getting those seats.
For instance, a few weeks ago, I attended a Columbus Blue Jackets game and the cheapest ticket they had two hours before the puck dropped was $23. That was to watch the worst team in professional hockey get shellacked 5-0. When the NBA and NHL seasons are so long, you get days when teams completely mail it in (although that 5-0 loss probably will find a spot in the Blue Jackets' highlight reel at the end of the season) and then the fans who spent their hard earned money to watch complete garbage.
Congress needs to knock down ticket prices, but if they can't agree on a completely fair way to do it, they should implement a new ticket system for sports. In the ideal world, it would be similar to going to see a movie. If you go see a movie and there is a problem with the projector halfway through, you get your money back. If you show up to an Eagles game where they are embarrassed 42-0, your $40 ticket should only end up costing about $17 and you pickup your refund on the way out of the stadium (this could be a bad example, because Philly fan had to know what he was getting into before that game, but there should be some sort of relief for season ticket-holders who have to pay for games even after the Eagles have clearly thrown in the towel).
I know you don't get your money back after you see a terrible movie, but there aren't any reviews out for games that haven't happened yet. You don't know that LeBron James is going to take a night off or that the Red Sox are going to mail it in before you plunk down your hundreds of dollars to go to a game. At least you would get what you pay for.
Philly fans — While I'm on the topic, they should probably get their own hearing. Something just isn't right with some Philadelphia fans. I can't quite put my finger on it, but Congress needs to fix it. These are the same fans that booed Santa Claus and cheered when Michael Irvin was lying motionless on the field after a hit. I sometimes wonder how far removed some of those fans are from showing up at a hospital someday and cheering for cancer.
It is pretty clear that Congress needs to get this BCS issue resolved quickly because they have a host of other issues to attend to. Not only is this good for sports, but this is also going to change how our officials are elected. No longer would campaigns be about the boring issues like education or economic policy changes, terrorism, tax cuts, civil rights, etc. etc., but they would hit the core issues — such as the designated hitter or a playoff in college football. More people would start watching political debates, as they would look more like an episode of "Around the Horn" than an actual debate.
It's pretty clear that Congress should play a vital role in sports because, at the end of the day, the world is just a better place without the BCS.
The Sports Gospel According to Mark is sponsored by BetOnSports.com. BetOnSports.com gives you the greatest sports action to bet on. Wager on football, cricket, boxing, Rugby, horse racing, and more. Mark Chalifoux is also a weekly columnist for SportsFan Magazine. His columns appear every Tuesday on Sports Central. You can e-mail Mark at [email protected].
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