Sometimes, people don't use common sense. It happens far too often and it seems like it would be easy enough to solve, but some people just don't get it. Am I missing something? Is it too much to ask for just a little common sense every now and then? Let me clear up two big misconceptions for anyone in the sports world. Number one, you are never allowed on the field at a professional sporting event if you are a spectator. Number two, you cannot drive if you have had too much to drink.
Hopefully, that will help clear things up in the future and we won't have a repeat of the incidents seen this weekend. For starters, there was a fan that ran onto the field during the Eagles/Packers game to spread his late mother's ashes. He claimed he was fulfilling his mother's last wish. Brilliant. Hopefully, this moron gets what he deserves and lands some good jail time, as the Philly police claimed not to be big supporters of people running on the field during a game and spreading a mysterious powder. The problem is that the idiot doesn't even seem to think he did something wrong.
"I know that the last handful of ashes I had are laying on the field, and will never be taken away," the moron told a Philly TV station. "She'll always be part of Lincoln Financial Field and of the Eagles," he said.
Really? How will she always be part of the Eagles? Is it because they played on her ashes? That guy is just sick and the fact that it never occurred to him that it may not be a good idea to spread his dead mother on the field during a game just reinforces that. As far as it being his mother's last wish, that is just a horrible rationalization. I don't know how old she was, but, believe it or not, there are times when older people just don't always think straight.
Case in point: I was at a shopping mall the other day and walked past a pretzel stand. Sitting outside the stand in a wheelchair was a mentally-handicapped employee who was responsible for handing out free samples to potential customers. I started thinking about how that job must be a really good thing for him, giving a chance for him to feel more normal and just like everyone else. No sooner had that thought left my mind did an elderly woman walk up to the guy and not only refuse to take any samples, but instead decided to slide some money towards him and walked away.
Now, I know her intentions were good, but what the hell? It's not like he was slumped against a wall with a cup and a "homeless please help God Bless" sign, he was a guy doing a job. He was handing out free pretzel samples, wearing a uniform — it's not like he was breaking out a delightful rendition of "The Simpsons" theme song on his saxophone. Something tells me he had the job in an effort to be more normal rather than out of an overwhelming financial need (maybe the fact that his hat was on his head and not in front of him filled with miscellaneous coins tipped me off).
Bottom line, old people don't always make the best decisions (especially as far as last wishes are concerned, which is why Ted Williams is a popsicle now) and for him to think that this is what would have made his mother happy is a joke. What if my last wish was for my ashes to be baked into a pie and then thrown in Gary Bettman's face? Or what if my last wish was that all of my friends and family would hit anyone named Gary in the face with a pie and repeat this process every June? I think at some point, my family would realize that I was just getting senile or that I was completely insane and ignore it.
Old people can be crazy and even if they are perfectly sane and also happen to be the biggest football fan in the world, there is still no justification for a loved one to be spreading their ashes on the field during a game. It's a simple concept, really — stay off the field and dispose of your loved ones in a more appropriate fashion.
If that is a simple concept, this next one has to be even simpler. If you drink heavily, do not get behind the wheel of a car. One would think this would be easy to follow, especially if you were a coach at a Division I sports program. Yet, over the weekend, two Ohio coaches were charged with drinking and driving.
Keith LeGree, an assistant at Cincinnati, was hit with a second DUI in less than a year. He was a coach with Bob Huggins, whose infamous DUI tape played a major role in costing him his job, so you think LeGree would know better. How could he be stupid enough to do it twice (at least two times that he got caught, and I have a hard time believing that he was caught the only two times he did it), especially after there was so much media attention when it happened to Huggins?
The problem hit a little closer to home when the Frank Solich, head coach of my Ohio Bobcats football team, was convicted of drunken driving on Monday. The police found him over the weekend with his car facing the wrong way on a one-way street with Solich slumped over the wheel and with his foot on the brake. He was intoxicated to the point he couldn't even roll down his car window. Unbelievable. When could it have possibly seemed like a good idea to get in a car if you are that far-gone? How do things like this happen?
I guess the only thing you can really say is I hope that it was worth it. I hope the guy throwing his mother around Lincoln Field enjoys his jail time. I hope Solich enjoyed his night of boozing, because it's going to cost him the respect of much of the country (what will really make me sick is when Ohio fans, who were some of the first to take shots at Cincinnati when Huggins was hit with his DUI, will try to rationalize this and spin it when it is completely inexcusable and is a terrible disgrace to the university). And I hope LeGree had a great night, because it cost him his job.
All I want is for people to use a little bit of common sense. Well, that, or that Gary Bettman will get hit in the face with a pie.
The Sports Gospel According to Mark is sponsored by BetOnSports.com. BetOnSports.com gives you the greatest sports action to bet on. Wager on football, cricket, boxing, Rugby, horse racing, and more. Mark Chalifoux is also a weekly columnist for SportsFan Magazine. His columns appear every Tuesday on Sports Central. You can e-mail Mark at [email protected].
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