Remember the days when ESPN was revolutionary? Who would of thought you could ever have the ability to wake up at anytime in the morning, and every hour, catch all of the previous night's highlights in every major sport? Sure, the shtick was around then, but the guys like Craig Kilborn, Keith Olberman, and pre-2000 Dan Patrick were as entertaining as anyone on TV. I can even vaguely remember a time when Stuart Scott was worth listening to.
Oh, how those days have gone by fast. The only time to turn on ESPN now are when they show actual games and even that needs to be accompanied by a mute button most of the time.
Case in point, last week's game between the New England Patriots and Buffalo Bills. You would've thought that Tedy Bruschi had just came back from service in Iraq and was deserving of his own tickertape parade all the way to Bristol. The way they praised him as a hero and as an ultimate warrior, as WWE wrestler Razor Ramon would say, "Oozing in Machismo," was almost sickening. The man was risking his life after coming back on the field after a stroke, caring less about his family or his life in favor of proving his capacity of testosterone.
Bruschi's comeback is admirable, but sometimes there are things bigger than sports, like health. With Jason Collier's recent death, the illness of Ronny Turiaf, and the preseason collapse of Thomas Herrion, you would think Bruschi, the announcers, and the Patriots' staff would re-examine the value of life over football.
Mike Patrick, one of ESPN's crew, had triple-bypass surgery as recently as last year, but not once did anyone try to ward against what Bruschi was doing, only building up the hype even more, most likely for the next week's matchup on ESPN sister station, ABC, for Monday Night Football.
The rest of the station's programming is despicable, as well. Hearing to 40-year-old-plus Stuart Scott spew trendy catch phrases as if he was on BET's Rap City goes beyond atrocious, as well as Chris Berman's everlasting attempt to gain his own sitcom. While one-time cohort Keith Olbermann has finally become a respected member of the broadcasting community, Dan Patrick wallows away on his perch as the face of the what has become the commercially-driven crapfest known as SportsCenter.
NFL PrimeTime's "Jacked Up" segment where they show the game's best bone-crushing hits borderlines the absurd, the "I Love Week (place number here)" music montage on Monday's are the biggest waste of three-plus minutes in television history, and the Budweiser Hot Seat (it's never too early to pitch alcohol to the kids) provides as much journalistic insight as the National Enquirer.
Too bad there is no competition for ESPN, they are run by media giant Disney and will be going nowhere soon. I guess all there is to do is to sit back with the mute button in hand and remember the days when you looked towards ESPN for sports — and sports only.
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