If I Were Coach For a Day

Almost halfway into the 2005 NFL season, a number of teams have disappointed and exceeded expectations. Of course, it's always easy to play Monday Morning Quarterback and this author is no exception.

Based on what I have seen so far, here is what I would do if I were coach for a day in a number of NFL cities.

Buffalo Bills

They are in the running for the division title due to the fact that the AFC East is not the Patriot runaway it has been before. That said, there are things that I would do in Buffalo.

Never give a starting job to anyone without a training camp competition.

J.P. Losman was given the starting QB job before training camp. Drew Bledsoe was released and ended up in Dallas. Kelly Holcomb was then signed as a backup. Holcomb was clearly not a threat to Losman as he was the backup to Tim Couch in Cleveland and wasn't able to keep him on the bench in spite of Couch's troubles and a memorable playoff game that Holcomb played against the Steelers.

Losman played well against the Houston Texans (but who hasn't?), but since then struggled mightily. Head coach Mike Mularkey was then left with the choice of having discontented veterans watch a young QB waste their defensive effort or send Losman to the bench and risk damaging his confidence.

Mularkey made the right move, but pretended that withholding the name of the starting QB until game day would keep the opponent in the dark and this was a strategic move.

Right move, wrong way to do it.

Be straight with the media or risk losing credibility.

At the news conference where Mularkey would not reveal the starting QB even though WR Eric Moulds had already told the media that Holcomb was in, several chortles of laughter are heard as Mularkey attempts to double-talk and coach-speak his way out of explaining why he won't reveal who will be under center.

Run the football.

The Bills picked injured back Willis McGahee in the first round two years ago. McGahee then ended up moving Travis Henry out of the starting lineup with his play. So, you would think the Bills would become a "power running team" like Pittsburgh, right?

Didn't happen. Reverses, option passes, and QB draws were the order of the day. After Losman was benched, McGahee was then a larger part of the Bills' offense as Holcomb looked good in his first start of the season.

Even in the pass-oriented NFL, running the football is crucial to a team's success. Ask the Philadelphia Eagles.

Minnesota Vikings

Where do you begin? If you want to keep a head coach job in Minnesota, you need to be comfortable with being the lowest-paid head coach in the NFL. Mike Tice seems to have no problem with that as he obviously has some things on the side to supplement his income. This can lead to trouble though and leads to another basic rule of coaching.

Don't scalp tickets to the Super Bowl or you risk looking like a fool.

Tice suffered a real humiliation after being the subject of a league investigation and being fined by the NFL for scalping Super Bowl tickets.

The NFL is tough competition. Games can be decided by only a few key plays. Players respond differently under pressure. Some thrive, others wilt. This brings us to the next rule for coaches.

Find players with character who can perform under the gun.

Players who have their own "Whizzinator" do not have character and won't get you to the Super Bowl (or avoid suspensions).

Riverboat parties with women who get paid by the hour also are not populated with players of character.

Could the Vikings' late-season collapse be the symptom of a lack of character? It seems that the team just can't be taken to the next level with a bargain-basement coach.

Houston Texans

Dom Capers isn't a stranger to expansion teams as he was also the first coach of the Carolina Panthers. Capers knows as does everyone else that expansion team coaching jobs are short-lived.

Capers' time in Houston must be coming to a close. The Texans have failed to execute one of the cardinal rules for coaches.

Get a decent offensive line.

No one knows how good QB David Carr can be since he spends more time running for his life or getting off the ground. The Texans are horrific up front and have been for the last few seasons.

Without the big men up front, the running game struggles and the passing game goes into the tank. Once that happens, the coach is the next one into the tank.

Some other rule violations:

Admit when you are wrong about a QB that you say can win in this league and cut that guy.

Brian Billick has become a victim to his inability to admit that he has made errors at the QB position. After winning a Super Bowl, one of the first guys let go was QB Trent Dilfer. Billick would do well to remember that the QB is important.

Sooner or later, your two-minute offense must come together and put that drive together that can win you the game. That requires a QB who can put all the pieces together.

Billick keeps insisting that Kyle Boller was that guy. With Boller now injured, we won't know if this was Boller's breakout year, but Billick has had lots of time to solve this.

Dallas Cowboys

Run the ball to burn other team's timeouts.

Although the Cowboys won their game against the Giants two weeks ago, the play-calling was curious, but not uncommon today.

Remember the days when late in the game, the team in the lead would run the ball three times and force the other team to burn their timeouts?

Dallas ran twice and then threw on third down. The pass was incomplete and the Giants held a timeout. The Giants scored quickly and didn't need that time-out as it turned out, but the call doesn't make sense and watch carefully, Bill Parcells isn't the only guy who will do this.

Run the ball straight ahead when backed up against your goal-line.

Speaking of Dallas running in their game...

The Cowboys were backed up on their own two-yard line or so. The first run was almost stopped in the backfield as the Cowboys chose a play that required one of the tackles to pull.

The defensive players in the NFL are so quick now, that when an offensive lineman pulls, a defensive tackle often is able to fire that gap and make a play in the backfield.

Why pull that guard or tackle? How about going straight at the man opposite you and getting some breathing room.

The same situation also happens often with teams and their goal-to-go offense. The running play will call for the guard or tackle to pull, the defensive man fires the gap and makes a play in the backfield. Leading to another rule: the shortest distance between two points is a straight line.

Also, several teams will bring in a couple of tight ends and run a play with eight men at the line of scrimmage, one QB, one RB, and one FB. This allows the defense to bring 11 men into the box to stop the run.

Why not keep a WR or two in the game, force the defense to cover, and reduce the number of men in the box? Fewer men in the box means the chance of opening a crease and getting your yard or two is greater. This is the classic rule: spread the field.

Finally, coaches need to use greater discretion when using their replay challenges. With only two in an entire game, why waste one on a first and goal at one or first and goal at the two?

More importantly, adhere to this rule: don't ask the player if they made the play.

Players will always say they made the play and that the referee ripped them off. Players have huge egos and want everyone to believe that they made the play because they are too good to miss it.

Even in the full view of 70,000 people on a scoreboard the size of a tractor-trailer, players will plead for coaches to burn a challenge on a play they clearly didn't make.

Finally, every coach must also adhere to a final rule or risk second-guessing their every move: don't believe anything you read.