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October 31, 2005

Dreams Fade Quickly for D.C Teams (Pt. 2)

Note: don't miss part one!

Michael Jordan is gone now. He's been gone for two years and no one has heard much from him, except for a recent interview he did with 60 Minutes to discuss his problems with gambling. But it seems like yesterday when the nation's capital was welcoming Jordan with open arms when he took over as vice president of basketball operations for the Wizards in 2000.

Never mind that he made the Wizards worth watching again.

Never mind that his presence alone in the MCI Center was enough to sell the building out for three years. Not to mention every arena the
Wizards played in for the two years Jordan returned to the court.

Never mind how he turned one of the most embarrassing franchises in NBA history into a media hotbed.

Never mind the number of teal No. 23 jerseys he sold with his return to the court.

Never mind the fact that his presence on the team had fans believing the Wizards could win their second NBA title in franchise history.

Never mind that in his two seasons as a player with the Wizards, Jordan had the team on the cusp of the playoffs both times.

Never mind the 40- and 50-point games.

Never mind that Abe Pollen and the Wizards fans are backstabbing snakes.

Never mind it all. It was Jordan's fault. It was all his fault. It was his fault Kwame Brown was worthless. To Kwame's credit, try being a 19-year-old kid playing with the greatest basketball player ever during your rookie season. All the horror stories about how competitive Jordan is and how demands perfection. Washington wasn't the right place for Kwame. But of course that's Jordan's fault. He did it. He single-handedly was to blame for the Wizards' dreadful play prior to last season's breakthrough year.

It was all an elaborate scheme by Jordan and the evil citizens of Chicago for him to go to Washington and sabotage a struggling franchise. Yup, that's it. It was a calculated and well-planned scheme and the fans in D.C. bought every bit of.

Seriously, give it a rest, D.C. The Wizards are just a bad franchise. Although they are not quite in the same league as the Los Angeles Clippers, the team has always been associated with losing. But the best owner in sports changed all of that prior to last season. After leading Jordan to believe he would return to the team to resume his duties as president of basketball operations, the honest Pollen gave Jordan the boot. He replaced Jordan and then-coach Doug Collins with Ernie Grunfeld and new coach Eddie Jordan.

Genius idea, Abe, you proved your point. Not only did the Wizards improve the year after Michael Jordan's departure, they did the one thing he failed to do during his time there — make the playoffs. The new-look Wizards are talented group with players who know how to win.

But this whole idea that Jordan ruined the franchise is ridiculous. Of course he wasn't the old Michael Jordan once he stepped back onto the basketball court. But what did they expect from a 40-year-old man, who returned to the game after a three-year layoff? They expected greatness. And although there were certainly flashes of greatness with 50-point games and game-winning shots, Jordan didn't live up to the fans expectations. He couldn't jump from the free throw line or switch the ball from one hand to the other while in the air. He was a shell of his former shelf and the D.C. couldn't accept that.

But Jordan is gone and has moved on with his life. And most of D.C. seems to be moving on very slowly. Having a good team will do that. The Wiz kids are ready to embark on a new season. Poised and ready to build upon last year's successes. And to players, Jordan is a distant memory, but we can't turn back the hands of time. Jordan will always be linked to the Wizards. Not because of how many banners he put up in the rafters or games he won. Sadly, it will be for what he didn't do on and off of the court. The players he drafted and the games he didn't win.

Posted by Andre Watson at 3:56 PM | Comments (1)

Same Old: Why Jets Just Don't Get it

The New York Jets finished last season on a low note by losing at Pittsburgh in the playoffs by missing two potential game-winning field goals. But this just fueled everyone into believing that this team was ready to turn the corner. Maybe they were, but only into a dead end. This is an organization that has not done a heck of a lot right since Joe Willie Namath held up his index finger jogging off the field in Miami way back in 1969.

Poor Joe was a warrior, but even he could not help this team any more. His bad knees cut his career short, and the Jets were too happy to see him off to Los Angeles while anointing Richard Todd the job. The second Alabama alumni had some good times at Shea Stadium. But as usual with this team, controversy arose. A quarterback battle between Todd and Matt Robinson ensued. Todd ended up on top, and he will always be remembered as the guy who completed his best passes of the AFC Championship game to the Dolphins' A.J. Duhe.

The team eventually drafted a quarterback in the strongest QB draft of all-time, 1983. This was the same draft that produced John Elway, Jim Kelly, Dan Marino, etc. So who do the Jets take? None other than Ken O'Brien of Cal-Davis. He did have some good seasons, but took a beating behind some very porous offensive lines.

Following the 1983 season, Jets owner Leon Hess announced that the team was moving from Shea Stadium in Queens, New York (where their fan base is) to Giants Stadium in New Jersey. And they would be sharing the building with the New York Giants. This move took away any homefield advantage and identity they may have had.

The team was having one of their best seasons in 1986 with a 10-1 start. But then O'Brien led them into a tailspin and a five-game losing streak to close out the regular season. He was even benched in the wildcard win and the next game at Cleveland. He only made it back on the field because back up Pat Ryan was injured during the game. The team blew a late 10-point lead and eventually lost the game in overtime on a Mark Mosley field goal.

The next few seasons were just blurry scenes with a sound track of "Joe must go!" Head coach Joe Walton did go and was replaced by Bruce Coslet. The organization seemed to be headed in the right direction with the new staff. In 1991, an exciting overtime victory in the last game at Miami produced a wildcard playoff berth. They did play the Oilers tough at the Astrodome in the playoffs, but were on the short end of a 17-10 score.

What followed in the next six seasons can only be classified as comical. The Jets gave the starting quarterback spot in 1992 to Browning Nagle, who led the team to a 5-0 preseason. You know what they say about exhibition games in the NFL. Poor "Drowning" Nagle fumbled the first snap in the opener at Atlanta, led the team to a 4-12 record, and basically has not been heard from since.

The team brought local guy Boomer Esiason in for the 1993 season, which was as exciting as it was heartbreaking. The team showed its Jekyll and Hyde faces week to week. Their defense had two shutouts in a row. But 3-0 and 6-0 road wins can make you doubt yourself. Especially after your holder takes a long snap off the helmet on a short field goal attempt. They had more than one chance to clinch a playoff berth and could not close the deal, finishing out of the money at 8-8.

A coaching change put Pete Carroll in the hot seat, but this was not the same coach we know from USC. He will be recalled as the guy who setup basketball hoops on the practice facility grounds, having the team within a Dan Marino fake spike of first place, and losing the team and his job because of a six game losing streak to finish the season.

What ensued was perhaps the saddest two seasons for a football team this side of Arizona. Rich Kotite put a product on the field that could muster up only four total wins. Needless to say, it was time once again to shake things up at Hempstead.

Bill Parcells was brought in to run the whole show. His curious offensive calls at Detroit ruined any chance for the team to get back to the playoffs in 1997. The next season the team won their division and went all the way to the AFC Championship Game, bowing to the Broncos in Denver. Injuries the following season killed any chances the team had of reaching those plateaus again. And that was it for the Tuna. He appointed Bill Belichick his successor, who strangely resigned after one day. Al Groh was there to pick up the pieces for one season, and also had many chances to get the team into the postseason before they routinely collapsed.

The current regime took over in 2001. The team has done some good, some bad. Herman Edwards has been second-guessed a lot, rightfully so for much of it. He has also brought the team to the playoffs. The jury may still be out on this staff.

The Jets have had some major issues and tragedy over the years. The injuries to Dennis Byrd, the death of front office man Dick Steinberg, the career-ending concussions to Al Toon. But they have had their share of making their own problems. Bad drafts picks throughout the years (Johnny Lam Jones, Mike Haight, Blair Thomas, to name a few) has set the team back. Recent injuries to "franchise" quarterback Chad Pennington and center Kevin Mawae has the team back on its heels. The current season has all the looks of a Kotite special.

Perhaps the worst sin of this team is agreeing to once again become co-tenants with the Giants on a new stadium in New Jersey. After the West Side project died, Queens was wooing the team to come back home and have a brand new stadium built just for them. But of course this is the Jets were talking about. Not only is the team playing permanently in another state, but they are also moving their home office and practice facility there. Their last connection to New York will be gone. And by the way the future looks, so will their fans.

Posted by Joe Pietaro at 11:43 AM | Comments (2)

Wipe a Season, Not an Unprovable Past

The Fabulous BALCO Boys are as done with in legal terms as they are not in certain moral terms. With sharp enough tongue as she pronounced sentence Judge Susan Illston observed, as the San Francisco Chronicle ascribed, that there is great frustration in the law allowing nothing tougher for Victor Conte and Greg Anderson than four and three months each federal imprisonment and home arrest, respectively.

"They were cheating, and you helped them cheat," Judge Illston admonished Conte. She betrayed neither understanding nor willingness to accept that BALCO's notorious wares, on the concrete evidence available, enhanced nothing beyond the pace at which their baseball-playing users amplified their physiques and disguised the amplifiers.

And within a day or so of the Conte/Anderson sentencing came the news that pitcher Felix Heridia was handed a 10-day suspension to be served from the opening of the 2006 season for violating the incumbent baseball steroids policy. His lifetime pitching record indicates that whatever was enhanced his pitching was not included. Last seen in the New York Mets' bullpen, you probably blinked while Heredia vaporized — thanks to a left thumb strain first and a shoulder aneurysm foremost, he spent all but three games worth of 2005 season on the disabled list.

These doings appeared two months after a pair of former Baltimore Orioles pronounced one solution for an incumbent Baltimore Oriole, his flunked drug test, and the suspension he served for it: vaporizing him from the record books entirely.

To Frank Robinson, it was a question of why we should impose upon baseball the burden of figuring out where to go, including asterisk. ("Where do you go back, stop, and say, 'Okay, when did he start using steroids?' To eliminate all that, and get the players' attention, you wipe the whole thing out.") To Curt Schilling, next to whom Rafael Palmeiro sat before the House Government Reform Committee last spring and lied, allegedly, it was a question of proving anything Palmeiro or any other high-statistic suspect had done previously was "under the influence of performance-enhancing drugs."

Elsewhere at the time, I wrote that there is no concurrent way to prove Palmeiro was unclean when he wagged the now-infamous finger, the positive test turning up well enough afterward on the evidence available, placing in doubt nothing but the regular season now past. "And if there is no way to know or prove the surety of Palmeiro's curriculum vitae before the incumbent season," I went on, "never mind no way to know or prove steroids' enhancement of anything above and beyond musculature, there should be no way for baseball government to sanction Palmeiro's complete disappearance."

Known by brand as Winstrol and by pharmacology as Stanozolol, the drug for which Palmeiro tested positive is deployed in human medicine to treat such as hereditary angioedema, a condition responsible for swelling attacks in the face, extremities, genitalia, bowel wall, and throat. It is also used to stimulate appetite, muscle mass, bone density, and red blood cells in ... dogs, cats, horses, sheep, goats, reptiles, and birds. We presume Palmeiro could distinguish at least between birds of a feather and the one on his uniform cap.

It is not necessarily to their job description or their competence that our Judge Illstons trouble themselves with facts such as those. But they might have their templates cleaner if handed a prospect Frank Robinson and Curt Schilling implied, upon agreement that Palmeiro warranted sanction, 10 games' suspension was insufficient, and a complete wipe of the record untenable without concrete evidence.

Why not eliminate only the statistics of that season in which Palmeiro or any player tests positive for any steroid? By itself, that could prove deterrent against further taint while warding further off the innuendo contingent, at least until the next great stain upon the game is alleged to have fallen.

Palmeiro could rejoin the exclusive 500/3000 club with veracity enough for remaining clean in subsequent tests. Our Judge Illstons can have stronger support against which to commit clarity over claptrap. And, we might achieve what Robinson and Schilling implied, while leaving those two customarily diligent men closed to accusations that they traded a season under question for a season of the witch.

Posted by Jeff Kallman at 10:27 AM | Comments (0)

October 29, 2005

Star Wars, Doom, and Fisher DeBerry

Random thoughts on a random autumn day...

Grant Hill will miss 3-6 weeks with an injury.

In other news, there are still 24 hours in a day, and the moon remains in orbit around the Earth.

Hill needs surgery for something called a "sports hernia." Why am I picturing a doctor asking me to turn my head, cough, and then run a 40-yard dash?

Something dawned on me the other day about the "new" NHL. I've watched more than a few games this season, and there's just something ... I don't know ... "hollow" about what I've seen.

Then it hit me:

The "new" NHL = The "Star Wars" prequels.

You watch, and you enjoy what you see. It looks like hockey, only the aesthetics are more pleasing and the rhythm has been sped up.

Yet you leave the game feeling as if you've witnessed something synthetic. There are flashes of passion, but no soul. You miss those character moments: a battle along the boards, or two guys throwing punches at center ice. You miss those moments when a single scoring chance could mean the difference between winning or losing, rather than knowing that the next power play is only moments away.

I'm hoping, as a fan, that whatever it is that's leaving me feeling a little empty with this "new" NHL is remedied once we hit the postseason, which remains the single most grueling and enthralling playoff tournament in sports.

It's not a disaster. The "new" NHL isn't Jar-Jar Binks. It's Natalie Portman — an accomplished pro who looks great and keeps our attention ... but she ain't no Princess Leia...

Player to watch in this weekend's Bears/Lions game: Marcus Pollard.

Not because I expect him to do anything special, but mainly to see if Jeff Garcia will send more shots into a tight end than Joey Harrington did...

I saw "Doom" last weekend for one reason: the first-person, shoot 'em up segment of the film that basically recreates the video game on the big screen. All you see is a rifle bobbing up and down at the bottom of the screen as the main character kills mutants and zombies and zombie mutants everywhere he turns. It's really fun and different — especially when he drops the gun in favor of a chainsaw and begins to battle what appears to be a cross between a boll weevil and a unicorn.

Okay, I saw "Doom" for two reasons: all of the above, and to see The Rock, who continues to exude more charisma in awful movies than Kirsten Dunst does in good ones...

Do you ever wonder how many NFL players are aware of their fantasy value? I think it's safe to assume many of them have fantasy teams, just like they have their own teams when they're playing "Madden" in the locker room lounge or, more likely, in the back of their Hummer.

I'd love to know if Justin Green of the Baltimore Ravens has a fantasy team. Because according to Yahoo! Sports, Green's fantasy value over the next four weeks is projected to be 0.06 points. That's the lowest point total for a player not rated at 0.00. To put that in perspective, Danny Kanell, who isn't even on an NFL roster at the moment, has a projected fantasy rating of 0.21 over the next four weeks.

Does Justin Green just tell all of his friends that he's not listed among fantasy free agents, just to avoid the humility of them searching through 300 players to get to him?

Does he leave an anonymous note for Billick that reads, "Give Justin Green the rock so he can pass a guy who ain't even in the league in the Yahoo! ratings?"

One more fantasy note: starting Michael Vick as your fantasy football quarterback is like trying to cover the table in a game of roulette. You're going to break even, or lose a little, a hell of a lot more than you're going to hit the jackpot...

Now, about this Fisher DeBerry controversy...

First off all, let's recall what the Air Force football coach actually said, in reference to his program needing more minority players: "It just seems to be that way, that Afro-American kids can run very, very well. That doesn't mean that Caucasian kids and other descents can't run, but it's very obvious to me they run extremely well."

There are people coming out the woodwork to defend DeBerry and clear his good name, and rightfully so. I don't think he's a racist, but his comment sure as hell was. He's seeing color, not ability. What his program needs are fast players; if they happen to be black, so be it.

What DeBerry is guilty of is taking coaches' office chatter within earshot of the public. I've had coaches tell me their basketball teams are "too white." I've had administrators tell me that they need to hire "an Afro-American coach" in order to control the "Afro-American players." These weren't comments for public consumption, but the kind of thing you hear in an interview once the tape recorder is flipped off. Some of these guys do see players in black and white, which is shame because they should really see them as good and bad.

The other issue in this DeBerry debacle is a little more sensitive. When the coach at Air Force talks about needing to recruit more "Afro-American" players because they are physically superior to other races, it conjures up images of military recruiters scouring poor neighborhoods for potential soldiers. The only difference is that the military academy coach sees color, while the military recruiters see class.

Is either case morally acceptable?

Finally, former NY Giant Lawrence Taylor has been pimping a new video game called "Blitz: The League," which is a football game that features everything from steroid use to players sending hookers to their opponents' hotel rooms.

If it sells well, word is that other developers are eager to use L.T.'s influence in their games. Let's just say you shouldn't be surprised when Mario asks Luigi for a clean urine sample because he was up all night smoking crack with Yoshii...

Greg Wyshynski is the Features Editor for SportsFan Magazine in Washington, DC, and the Senior Sports Editor for The Connection Newspapers of Northern Virginia. His book "Glow Pucks and 10-Cent Beer: The 101 Worst Ideas in Sports History" will be published in Spring 2006. His columns appear every Saturday on Sports Central. You can e-mail Greg at [email protected].

Posted by Greg Wyshynski at 12:37 PM | Comments (0)

Thoughts From Heinz Field, Section 235-236

There are many points to make about this week's Monday Night Football matchup between the Pittsburgh Steelers and Baltimore Ravens. The history is only a decade long, but the rivalry has been intense.

First, these teams are archrivals with arguably the most physical matchups between any other two teams in the entire NFL. How is this possible? Considering the Ravens haven't been around that long? Let's not forget, this team was the Cleveland Browns team the Steelers have always had a mutual hatred with. You can put a purple Jersey over a Brown uniform, that won't change the level of intensity these teams have shared for decades.

Both teams also represent the AFC North's two previous champions, with the Steelers holding 2004's title compiling a 15-1 regular season record. This, from a 6-10 team in 2003 that fell in love with a pass-oriented offense led by quarterback Tommy "Gun" Maddox's arm.

Ironically, in the second week of last season, it was the Baltimore Ravens to knock Maddox out for the season to injury in a 30-17 pounding in Baltimore.

During the same game that Maddox was injured, the Ravens lost Todd Heap for a majority of the season by a controversial cheap by Steelers linebacker Joey Porter.

Without Maddox, the Steelers offense was forced to dedicate itself to the run, and count on the instincts and poise of a 22-year-old rookie quarterback. With these ingredients mixed with the number one overall defense in the NFL, the Steelers marched to homefield advantage throughout the playoffs.

Big Ben Roethlisberger rolled to an undefeated regular season, and in his career has only lost to the back-to-back Super Bowl champion New England Patriots — compiling a 17-0 record in the process.

Meanwhile, the Baltimore Ravens went on to lose their last five games on the road. An optimistic Brian Billick (who has been speculated to be fighting for his own job) points to how difficult of a stretch with a real reason to see a light. "They were against the four divisional round AFC teams and the NFC Super Bowl representative. I don't know that anybody has had to do that before," said Billick.

Well, with offseason additions to beef up the consistently below-average receiving corps, the Ravens went out and picked up a veteran Pro Bowl receiver in Derrick Mason and used their number one draft pick on Mark Clayton, a WR from Oklahoma.

Injuries, a team that doesn't appear to support the coach any longer, and contract issues for several key Ravens players have caused an unexpected 2-4 record for a team that at season's start, was predicted by some to win the AFC North, and even the Super Bowl.

That hasn't panned out, Boller was hurt in a third quarter injury during a Week 1 loss to the Colts, and the Ravens are suffering. The offense is dead last in the NFL in points per game with 11.5. Jamal Lewis appears to be protecting himself to prevent injury in a contract year, the offensive line is a mess, and the quarterback was inconsistent even with Boller.

Anthony Wright, former Steelers third string quarterback, and Kordell Stewart return to a city in which the latter lead two teams to home AFC championship game losses. Wright will get the start, a chance for a little payback for the team that gave him his NFL opportunity.

Regardless of record, a Ravens vs. Steelers game is worth the price of your ticket considering how competitive these teams are against each other. There is a mutual respect and hatred.

The 2003 season finale, which if one game establishes the intensity of this rivalry, this is it. The teams fought a physical fight in the final game that meant nothing for Baltimore (they had already made the playoffs) and nothing for the Steelers (couldn't have made the playoffs even with a victory). But this game meant everything to the players.

Traditionally, starters will be rested in such a meaningless game to keep the starters healthy for the playoffs, but the Ravens played their starters deep into the game and used them to aide in a 13-10 overtime win. Later, Billick mentioned the importance of going into the playoffs on a winning note.

A Monday Night Football game in the Steel City against the archrival Ravens.

Celebrating Myron Cope's career as the Steelers' radio broadcaster for 35 years and inventor of the "terrible towel."

On Halloween.

Priceless, or as Cope would say, "double yoi!"

Posted by Kevin Ferra at 12:27 PM | Comments (3)

NASCAR Top 10 Power Rankings: Week 32

Note: the quotes in this article are fictional.

1. Tony Stewart — Stewart reclaimed first place in the points with a runner-up finish at Martinsville after starting on the pole. As has been the case many times this year, Stewart easily led the most laps (283 out of 500), gaining a valuable 10 bonus points, but was unable to pass Gordon at the end.

"Jeff Gordon is an idiot," says Stewart. "Wait a minute. Wrong driver. Greg Biffle is an idiot, as is Chad Knaus, Jimmie Johnson's crew chief. Off the track, though, we're all best of pals."

Stewart's lead is 15 points on Johnson, and his next closest pursuer is Ryan Newman, 63 down. The Chase is shaping up to be a two man race to the wire. Johnson is a favorite in Atlanta, but Stewart has proven he is strong on all types of tracks.

2. Jimmie Johnson — Johnson's third-place finish kept him solidly in Chase contention, but there were three things wrong with it. One, he finished one place behind Tony Stewart. Two, Johnson didn't lead a single lap. And three, Stewart led the most laps. What does it equal? A 15-point deficit to Stewart in the points.

"I never was good at math," says Johnson. "I guess those bonus points do add up. If I lose the Chase by less than 15 points, I'll be terribly upset. Otherwise, it's a moot point."

In the spring race in Atlanta, Johnson lost to Carl Edwards at the tape, and he won this race last year. Expect Johnson to be a force in Atlanta and take over the points lead.

3. Ryan Newman — Newman's fifth top-10 finish of the Chase, a 10th at Martinsville, vaulted him one position in the points. However, he lost 46 points to the leader, and now stands 63 behind Stewart.

"Wow! That's just the opposite of what happened last week," says Newman. "Last week, I dropped two places and gained on the leader."

Newman has won five straight poles in Atlanta, so one thing's for sure — he'll start first. Finishing first is the problem. He's never won there and has only one top-five finish.

4. Greg Biffle — Biffle fell to number four in the points after finishing 20th in Martinsville, his second finish out of the top 15 in the six Chase races. Tony Stewart had some choice words for Biffle after Biffle, a lap down, refused to yield and let Stewart pass as Stewart was chasing Gordon.

"Does Tony realize this is the Chase?" asks Biffle. "He's leading the points. Shouldn't I do everthing in my power to keep him behind me, so I'll lose fewer points to him. It's simple mathematics. I think Tony's the idiot."

Idiot or not, Biffle needs a top-five finish to challenge Johnson and Stewart. Of course, if they finish in the top five as well, Biffle gets nowhere. He finished third in Atlanta earlier this year, and tenth last year in the fall race.

5. Carl Edwards — Edwards lost considerable ground in the Chase, 95 to be exact, with a 26th-place finish in Martinsville, ending a string of four straight top-10s. Edwards' effort was marred by a faulty handling car that he and his crew never could quite get a grip on. However, Atlanta offers a great site for Edwards to rebound strongly from the disappointment at Martinsville.

"If I'm not backflipping off my car at the end of this race," says Edwards, "then my Chase aspirations go further down the tube. The Edwards' backflip has been seen only twice this year, a lot less than the Stewart fence climb, which was getting a little monotonous, to be honest."

Edwards won in Atlanta earlier this year after a dramatic last lap duel with Johnson. He finished third in this race last year, so his credentials make him one of the favorites.

6. Rusty Wallace — After starting third and racing among the leaders for most of the day, Wallace spun trying to pass a lapped car, sending him into the turn two wall. Well, on his way to a top-10 finish, at worst, Wallace instead finished 19th, his third finish of 19th or worse in six Chase races. He's now 166 behind points leader Stewart.

"At a place like Martinsville," adds Wallace, "half of the field is lap traffic. When you're trying to weave your way through there, it's like navigating bumper cars at the state fair. No matter where you go, you're going to hit someone."

In 19 career starts at Atlanta, Wallace has only one top-five finish, while those ahead of him in the points run much stronger at Atlanta. It could be a discouraging day for Wallace.

7. Mark Martin — Forced to start in a backup car after crashing in practice, Martin struggled with handling all day, and the situation got worse when his brakes failed on lap 434. Martin took the car to the garage for repairs, and returned to finish 34th, 32 laps off the lead. He dropped two places in the points to seventh, while losing 119 points to the leader.

"If you find yourself in the garage at any point during the Chase," says Martin, "you can pretty much kiss your title hopes goodbye. And if you're in there long enough to take a good, solid nap, which I did, then you can really kiss it goodbye."

Martin finished fourth in the Atlanta spring race, and was runner-up last year in the fall. If he could pin his bad luck from Martinsville on Stewart, Johnson, Newman, and Biffle, and win this race, then his season may not be lost.

"Here's to a Halloween curse on those guys," adds Martin.

8. Kurt Busch — Busch finally dug himself out of 10th-place in the Chase, finishing sixth for his second straight top-10. He's now in seventh, 172 points out of first. Busch fought back from a one lap penalty for hitting Michael Waltrip on lap 197.

"What's the reasoning behind penalizing me and no one else for the same infraction committed several times by various drivers?" asks Busch. "It's obvious NASCAR doesn't want me to repeat as champion. That penalty is bogus. I feel like the New Orleans Saints of NASCAR."

Busch has finished 32nd and 42nd at his last two races in Atlanta. But the track sets up well for Roush cars, so look for Busch to make it three straight top-10s.

9. Matt Kenseth — Kenseth finished 12th in Martinsville, but finishing ahead of him were three of the top four drivers in the points. As a result, Kenseth lost 48 points to the lead, and effectively lost any chance of challenging for the Cup.

"Hey, it's not over until the fat lady sings," says Kenseth. "And she's behind the curtain, getting ready to take the stage."

Kenseth has not finished better than 31st in his last three outings at Atlanta. Like his counterparts in other Roush cars, his hopes have faded with the success of Tony Stewart and Jimmie Johnson.

10. Jeremy Mayfield — Mayfield's worst finish of the Chase, a 28th, dropped him to bottom of the standings, 216 points out of the lead. A flat tire on lap 406, and an extra lap on that flat to clear traffic and enter the pits, ended up costing Mayfield three laps, none of which he could make up.

"There you have it," says Mayfield. "I guess you can call that 'Mayfield's Map to Last Place in the Chase.'"

Mayfield has only one top-10 in the Chase, so he raced himself out of contention early. Now, the goal is simply to build momentum for next year.

Posted by Jeffrey Boswell at 12:08 PM | Comments (0)

October 27, 2005

NFL Weekly Predictions: Week 8

Note: the quotes in this article are fictional.

Arizona @ Dallas

How fast did it take the Cowboys to go from first in the NFC East to last?

"About as quickly as it did for Drew Bledsoe to come back down to Earth," says a frustrated Bill Parcells, browsing through the waiver wire for a new kicker." And about as quickly as it did for the Eagles and Giants to pull wins out of their rear ends last Sunday. And speaking of rear ends, I feel like kicking some.

“First is kicker Jose Cortez', and unlike him, I don't miss. Why do they call it 'waivers?' I didn't wave goodbye to him. I didn't even say 'adios.' Next is Bledsoe's. Did he think he was back in Buffalo? 13-for-24 for 136 yards and two interceptions? That might have cut in in Buffalo, but not here. And, finally. I'm kicking the tail of my wide receivers coach. I don't know his name, but I want to complete the assault I started last Sunday."

The Cowboys were seconds away from attempting a game-winning field goal when Bledsoe tossed his second interception of the game. On the next play, Josh Brown kicked the 50-yard game winner for the Seahawks, and the Cowboys fell to 4-3.

Arizona's Dennis Green kept us all in suspense as far as naming the starting quarterback for last week's game versus Tennessee. Actually, there was no suspense, because no one cared. Anyway, Josh McCown got the start, and rightly so, after two straight games of 380+ yards passing. Then what did McCown do? He went out and had a Kurt Warner-like game, going 12-for-28 for 140 yards, one TD, and one interception.

"That sucks," replies Green." If I had known Josh was going to play like Kurt, I would have just started Kurt. How the heck does Anquan Boldin not catch a pass from you, Josh? Now, we're back to square one, another quarterback controversy. I will announce my starter at a press conference on the mid-field star at Texas Stadium, right after the coin toss."

With Julius Jones still out with a high ankle sprain, the Cowboys will have trouble running in the red zone. So they'll just pass it. And whomever starts for the Cardinals (McCown has been named the starter) will have to face the wrath of an angry defense who won't leave the outcome of the game in the hands of Bledsoe, or new kicker Shawn Suisham. Bledsoe throws two touchdowns, and, more importantly, no game-losing interception, and the Cowboys head to their bye week at a solid 5-3.

Dallas wins, 31-23.

Chicago @ Detroit

A week after the Packers and Vikings battled for last place in the NFC North, the Bears and Lions engage to see which carnivore will gain control of first place in the division. And if real bears and lions were taught to carry the football, you'd likely see more offense than you will in Sunday's showdown at Ford Field.

"Let's face it," says Lions head coach Steve Mariucci. "Both of these team have defenses that play like meat eaters, and offenses that play like vegetarians. That makes for a well-balanced diet, but not a well-balanced team. And let's not forgot the fruit. That would be our former quarterback, Joey Harrington, who got kicked to the cupboard and benched in favor of the gritty Jeff Garcia. This is Detroit, the auto capital of the world. If Harrington were a fruit, he would have to be a lemon. You know the old saying, 'When Matt Millen and the rest of the idiots in the front office insist on drafting a lemon, then make lemonade. Drink that lemonade for about three years until you finally realized that it's sour. Then go with the old stand-by, Garcia.'"

Yes, I'm familiar with that saying. I think Ben Franklin said it first, or was it Eminem? Anyway, Garcia led the Lions to a win at Cleveland, and he's built Ford tough.

The Bears held the Ravens to 199 yards total offense last week in a 10-6 victory. That's 16 total points. That means if you're a gambler and took the under, which was probably about 32, you won easily. But no more. Vegas has instituted a new rule that all games involving matchup combinations of the Bears, Lions, Ravens, and Browns will have the over/under set no higher than 19 points.

"I'll take that action," says former baseball great Pete Rose, dealing a hand of poker to his good friend, former Ohio State quarterback Art Schlicter. "Give me the under."

Although working with a limited receiving corps, Garcia finds Mike Williams for a late touchdown. In another defensive struggle, the Lions win 13-9 and take over first in the North.

Cleveland @ Houston

Can it get any worse in Houston? The Texans are 0-6, and quarterback David Carr is suffering an average of about six sacks a game. And, as Halloween approaches, this is where it gets spooky: the Texans had six yards passing last Sunday versus the Colts.

"Oh my gosh!" says Carr, chipping the white paint from Colts' helmets off of his blue Texans' headgear with a nail file. "That's three sixes! 666! The number of the beast! That's not a good omen. And neither is that spooky, operatic chanting I hear in the background. I sure hope the Browns don't have a player named Damien, or Lou Cipher, or Satan, like that hockey player for the Islanders. I've got enough horrors to deal with just being the QB for the Texans."

Besides sacks, those horrors include, hurries, knockdowns, and quarterback pressures, verbal insults, and face plants, all of which Carr has suffered several times this year. But let's give Carr some credit for something he hasn't suffered: a concussion. I say we start badgering Howie Long right now, and maybe by January, we will have convinced Long to include Carr on his "Tough Guys" team. Or not.

In Cleveland, Coach Romeo Crenel has built a solid defense, but the Browns are having trouble scoring, averaging only 13 points a game.

"True," says Crenel. "But the Texans are averaging just over 12 a game. That's like the irresistible force meeting the immovable object. And, you know what happens when those two things meet? Nothing. So, don't watch this game and expect any action."

Houston, not just the Texans, but the entire city, is in dire need of a win. The Astros were swept by the White Sox, but you have to believe that if they would have played seven games, the Astros would have won one. So, I'm going with the Texans to break into the win column with a thoroughly unconvincing 17-9 win. Domanick Davis rushes for 100 yards and a score.

Green Bay @ Cincinnati

Things are looking bleak in Green Bay. The Packers blew a 17-0 halftime lead, losing to the Vikings on Paul Edinger's 56-yard field goal as time expired. The loss dropped the Packers to 1-5, dead last in the NFC North. Lost for the season in the game were running back Ahman Green, and wide receiver Robert Ferguson is out for a month.

"This team is down right now," says Packer QB Brett Favre. "Sure, we're 1-5, but that's only two games out of first. The worst part is being the only team in the league's weakest division to lose last Sunday. But from what I hear, help is on the way, and it's being Fred Exed. If that means Freddie Mitchell, the big-mouthed former Philadelphia receiver, will soon be wearing Packer green and gold, then I think it's time for old No. 4 to hang it up. But not before I lead the NFL in touchdown passes."

The Bengals suffered their second loss of the season, losing 27-13 to division rival Pittsburgh and getting physically dominated in the process.

"That was a 'statement game' for us," says Bengals coach Marvin Lewis. "Well, we made a statement, all right. That statement was, "Ouch! You're hurting me. Stop it, Steelers!' How many wildcard teams make the playoffs now?"

That would be two, Starvin' Marvin. Luckily, you play in the AFC North, and you've got the Ravens twice and the Browns one more time. Win those, and beat teams with one win, like Green Bay, and you should be in.

With Favre as your quarterback, you always have a chance. But the Bengals are stinging from the Pittsburgh loss, and Chad Johnson is anxious to perform a touchdown celebration that won't be mocked by Pittsburgh's Hines Ward.

"I'm suing him for plagiarism," says Johnson.

Johnson dances, and Rudi Johnson scores on two short TD runs.

Bengals win, 31-26.

Jacksonville @ St. Louis

Can the Jaguars come in to St. Louis and ground the "Greatest Show on Turf" and the Rams high-powered offense?

"Is head coach Mike Martz allowed to call plays for the Rams?" asks Jacksonville head coach Jack Del Rio. "Oh, wait a minute. He's not. That's not the answer I was looking for. Is Jack Del Rio one of the coolest names on the planet, along with Duran Duran lead singer Simon Le Bon and former boxing trainer Teddy Atlas? The answer is 'yes.' And yes, we will shut down the Rams. Do you see the St. Louis Arch outside? That Arch is half a zero, which is the amount of points we plan on giving up this Sunday. See, here in Jacksonville, we play this thing called 'defense.' I know the Rams have a defense, they just don't play it."

In St. Louis, they play this thing called offense. They also play this game called "Keep the Head Coach Out of the Loop," in which head coach Mike Martz tries to relay plays to the booth. The object is to keep those plays from getting to the booth while maintaining a straight face.

Rams starting quarterback Marc Bulger is still out with a shoulder injury, so backup Jamie Martin will get his second start. Last week, Martin had reasonable success throwing the ball against the Saints.

"But we're not the Saints," says Del Rio. "I don't care who's calling the plays, we're bringing the heat on Martin. The guys on my defense are used to dating people named Jamie, not sacking them, so this will be a new experience for them."

With a rested Fred Taylor, the Jags will run the ball on the Rams. It won't be so easy for the Rams. The Jags have the league's fifth-best defense, so yards will be hard to come by. And with Isaac Bruce and Torry Holt banged up, passing won't be easier either. So, good luck, Jamie.

Taylor rushes for one touchdown, and the Jags sack Martin five times.

Jacksonville wins, 23-14.

Minnesota @ Carolina

Down 17-0 to Green Bay in Minnesota, Vikings coach Mike Tice resorted to a motivational tactic he had not used in quite some time.

Let me guess. Was it called "coaching?"

"Coaching?" says Tice. "Coaching is something lawyers do to football players before they take the stand for cross-examination by the prosecution. What I gave my players was a piece of my mind. It just happened to be the piece of my mind that holds all the curse words I know, which is every one in the book."

Whatever Tice said, it must have got his players attention, kind of like an afternoon cruise on the S.S. Sexual Misconduct. The Vikes stormed back and won 23-20 on Paul Edinger's 56-yard field goal as time expired, and celebrated later in the week with an x-rated hayride around Fred Smoot's farm.

The Panthers last faced Detroit in Week 6, winning dramatically on Chris Weinke's pass to Ricky Proehl. Starting QB Jake Delhomme was knocked out of that game on a big hit by Lions safety Kennoy Kennedy.

"But I'm back, better than ever," exclaims Delhomme, "with a slight loss of short-term memory and a ringing in my ears. Once these headaches subside, I should be back to my usual self."

The Delhomme to Steve Smith connection is one of the NFL's most dangerous, and the Vikings see it strike quickly for a first quarter Panthers touchdown. From there, Stephen Davis carries the load, while injured defenders Julius Peppers and Dan Morgan tough it out and anchor the defense.

Carolina wins, 30-24.

Oakland @ Tennessee

The Raiders' two big offseason acquisitions, Randy Moss and Lamont Jordan, paid off big time last week versus the Bills. Moss surprised everyone, especially fantasy owners, by toughing out hamstring and rib injuries to score one TD, while Jordan rushed for 122 yards and a career-high 3 TDs.

"You got to hand it to the big man upstairs," says Moss, "and I'm not talking about Jesus Christ. I'm talking about Al Davis. I'm not saying he's older than Jesus, just old enough to be his nephew. He is man who signs the checks, the man in the white silk jogging suit who gets around with the aid of a walker. That wouldn't pass the NBA dress code, but it's funky fresh in my book. Together, Mr. Al B. Rich and myself, 'Mad Skillz' Randy Moss, are starting a promotion for Lamont modeled after that of Michael Jordan. It's called 'Be Like 'Mont.' Hey, Lamont. You're just like Mike, right?"

"You bet, Randy," replies Jordan. "I'll bet you $100,000 I sink this putt."

Yep. Just like Mike.

The Raiders and Titans are in the same boat, injury-wise. Last week, the Raiders lost defensive backs Charles Woodson and Derrick Gibson for up to two months. Tennessee QB Steve McNair is ailing with various injuries, while his backup, Billy Volek, suffered a concussion last week against the Cardinals. WR Drew Bennett is out with a broken thumb, and running back Chris Brown suffered a shoulder stinger last week.

"So, what's your point?" asks Moss.

My point? My point is this, R. Mo. If you're hurt and playing, and Steve McNair is hurt and not playing, then what has become of this league, this planet, this universe?

"I've turned over a new leaf, so to speak," says Moss. "I meditate for two hours in a day in a room I call the 'Temple of Boom.' Actually, I meditate for about 10 minutes, then I play video games. But it seems to heal my pain."

The Raiders may be hurting on defense, but their offense is clicking. Kerry Collins throws TD passes to Moss and Jordan, and Jordan rushes for one score.

Raiders win, 33-24.

Washington @ N.Y. Giants

Mention the name "Moss" in NFL locker rooms, and immediately one name comes to mind. No, it's not Randy. It's not even Santana.

"Oh, I know who it is," says Redskins coach Joe Gibbs. "You must be talking about supermodel and coke fiend Kate Moss. I've partied with her. See, just like you people think the game has passed me by, I've proved you wrong. I'm still hip to the game, whether it be football, partying, or knowing which Moss I wanted as my wide receiver. That would be Randy. But he was taken. And Kate's not the best route-runner. So, we settled for Santana."

Good call, Joe. Santana is the NFL's leader in receiving yards, which has given big-play ability to Gibbs' offense, to go along with a smothering defense.

"Who says you have to tip the scales at 200 or more to make it as a receiver in this game?" asks Moss. "I may be small — I probably only weigh as much as the two Olsen twins on a full stomach. But defensive backs can't overpower me if they can't touch me. And if Michael Irvin hasn't said it enough, I'm from the 'U!'"

You mean that institute of higher learning, the University of Miami? So that's why all you "grads" simply say the "U." You can spell it!

Mention the name "Manning," and you've just called the name responsible for 23 touchdowns passes this season.

"And I've got 12 of them! Ah ha! I'm better than you Peyton," boasts Eli, the younger of the Mannings.

"As the older brother," says Peyton, "I have no recourse but to give little brother a noogie. But he's expecting that. And I see he doesn't have max protection on his flank, so I'm going to audible into an atomic wedgie, and rip the waistband of his BVDs over his head. Touchdown!"

Manning's atomic wedgie is cumbersome, but not as much as the Redskins' defense, which forces two Manning turnovers. Clinton Portis rushes for 120 yards and a touchdown, and the Redskins take control of the East.

Washington wins, 24-20.

Kansas City @ San Diego

What's the good news for the Chiefs? They've had a full nine days of rest since their last game, on October 21st in Miami.

And the bad news? Well, the Chargers are the league's highest-scoring team, and they will certainly be smarting from last week's 20-17 loss to the Eagles. LaDainian Tomlinson was held to seven yards rushing on 17 carries, and his NFL record streak of a touchdown in 18 consecutive games was halted.

"Why is that bad news for us?" asks Chiefs' coach Dick Vermeil.

Well, Dick. Let me explain. You could give up on one play what Tomlinson gained in the entire game against the Eagles. And judging by your penchant for giving up the big play last week (a 65-yard TD run by Ronnie Brown, and a 77-yard TD pass to Chris Chambers), Tomlinson could have gained 80 yards versus the Eagles and you still could give up more than that on one play.

"I think I'm going to cry," says Vermeil.

The Chiefs racked up 185 yards on the ground against the Dolphins, which is about equal to the combined ages of Vermeil and Chargers' coach Marty Schottenheimer. Against the Chargers, yards won't come nearly as easily.

"And you can best believe we won't have a blocked field goal returned for a touchdown on us," says Schottenheimer. "And L. T. will touch the ball 30 times."

Tomlinson rushes for 155 yards and two TDs, and the Chargers beat the Chiefs, 30-25, then keep an eye on the Eagles/Broncos game in Denver, hoping for a Philly win.

Miami @ New Orleans

Can either of these teams escape the wrath of hurricanes? The Saints have had their entire home schedule at the Super Dome wiped out by Hurricane Katrina, and the Dolphins' team complex sustained damage due to Hurricane Wilma.

"It just proves one thing," says Dolphins running back Ricky Williams. "Women hate football, and will do anything to ruin it for men. I didn't see any male hurricanes messing up games."

Ah, Ricky Williams. I guess this is why Miami drafted Ronnie Brown. In two games, Williams has rushed 11 times for seven yards.

"Just like me," says Williams, "that's not smoking."

The Saints continue to be snake-bitten with bad luck. Last week, on an Rams' "interception" that was returned for a touchdown, the Saints were unable to challenge it because they were out of time outs. The result: a loss, an irate Jim Haslett, and another demolished headset.

"I've had it!" says Haslett. "My guy was clearly down. Down by contact and with possession of the ball. Can't they see that? Can I red flag the selection of an official? Maybe next time, I'll stick my red flag in the end of a jar of gasoline, light it, and toss it on to the field. Will that get their attention?"

Well, Jim, they probably won't see it, but maybe they'll smell it.

"We're not out to get the Saints," says the game's back judge, who then flags New Orleans QB Aaron Brooks for a "traveling" violation. Haslett challenges the call, and after two minutes, it's overturned.

The Saints go on to win the game 24-13 behind two Brooks TD passes.

Philadelphia @ Denver

Did you Terrell Owens' latest touchdown celebration? After catching a TD pass against the Chargers last week, T.O. took out a towel, draped it over his arm, held the ball aloft as if it were a plate of food, and thereby became the first professional athlete to honor the table-waiting profession. Not bad, T.O. But next time, try to do something that Philly fans can more relate to. I doubt any Eagles' fans in attendance frequent restaurants in which the waiters drape towels over their arms.

"Yeah, where we eats, we're lucky if our waiter has two arms, much less one with a towel on it," says Vinny, one half of the noted Philly underworld mobsters/hit men/intimidators/businessmen Vinny and Joey. "You want a tip? Here's a tip? Get that towel off your arm or you'll be using it to wipe up your own blood."

In any case, the Eagles will be looking to go four for four against the AFC West. With wins already over Oakland, Kansas City, and San Diego, a victory over the Broncos would complete the set.

"And if we keep it close," says Broncos wide receiver Rod Smith, "it will be four straight unconvincing wins for the Eagles over AFC West opponents. But that's not going to happen. We're undefeated at home. So, here's your headline: 'T.O.'s Got B.O.; Broncos Will K.O. at Invesco.'"

Much has been made of the Eagles' inability to run the ball. Inability? Maybe it's just indifference. So, Coach Andy Reid, would you care to answer the question about why the Eagles won't run the ball?

"I'll pass," answers Reid.

Does that mean you'll 'pass' on answering, or you'll just 'pass' the ball?

"Both."

Just to be funny, the Eagles break out the wishbone offense for one play, but to be even funnier, they don't even run out of it. Then, the Eagles get downright hilarious and run a playaction pass. The Broncos are so stunned they forget to cover Owens streaking down the sideline. McNabb hits him in stride and the Eagles jump to a 7-0 lead. It's back and forth from there, and the Eagles hang on for a 27-23 win.

Tampa Bay @ San Francisco

Tampa Bay's Chris Simms gets his first start of the season, replacing Brian Griese, who was lost in Week 6 with a torn ACL. And what better team to start against than the lowly 49ers, who last week were blown out by Washington, 52-17?

"The last thing we need out of Chris is overconfidence," says Buccaneers' coach John Gruden. "After all, he couldn't even beat out a guy named Major Applewhite at the University of Texas. Major Applewhite? Come on. Is that his real name? Was he a character on Gomer Pyle? Anyway, Chris' dad, Phil, was able to separate himself long enough from his conjoined twin, Greg Gumbel, to slip a $20 in my pocket to make sure Chris gets the start."

Meanwhile, San Francisco rookie quarterback Alex Smith faces a more daunting task.

"What? The Tampa Bay defense?" asks Smith.

No. Trying to learn a new offense while running for your life. That's like learning Latin from scratch while being chased by a pack of pit bulls.

Smith almost quadrupled his passer rating, going from an 8.5 against the Colts to a 41.7 against the Redskins. So the team is making progress.

"Absolutely," says 49ers coach Mike Nolan. "We're making progress all right. Progress to another top two pick in the draft."

Mike Nolan plays it smart, and Smith sits this one out. Ken Dorsey is tossed into the fray, and gets his Halloween scare a day early. The Bucs force three turnovers and sack Dorsey six times. Cadillac Williams and Michael Pittman combine for 150 yards rushing.

Tampa Bay wins, 24-6.

Buffalo @ New England

Aren't bye weeks great?

"Yes, they are," says Patriots' coach Bill Belichick. "It's a nice week to heal injuries, rest, do a little extra scouting, author an intimidating letter to Tony Dungy and the Colts about our upcoming Week 9 matchup, and do some shopping at the thrift store for some ratty clothing."

Bye weeks are also good because in the Patriots' case, they took over first place in the AFC East without even playing.

"That's what New England football is all about," says Tom Brady. "We get into the heads of our opponents before we even play them. Just ask the Colts. And lookie here. Look who's got a Week 8 bye. The Colts. That will give them an extra week to think about how we will tarnish their undefeated record, although they are clearly the better team."

Buffalo's Willis McGahee proclaimed himself the NFL's best back before last Sunday's game at Oakland. What you talkin' 'bout, Willis?! And the best proof he could offer was 16 carries for 50 yards. Those numbers paled in comparison to those posted by the Raiders' Lamont Jordan: 28 carries, 122 yards, and 3 touchdowns. So, Willis, if this were the TV show Diff'rent Strokes, and running back performance was measured by height, you'd be Garry Coleman, and Jordan would be Todd Bridges. You're not the best. But the best back in the NFL named Willis.

Just as sure as Brady's maid, Alice, is having an affair with Sam the Butcher, the Patriots will take this one, especially returning from a bye week. Corey Dillon rushes for a score, and Brady throws for 260 yards and 2 TDs.

Patriots win, 30-17.

Baltimore @ Pittsburgh

The Steelers may be a ½-game behind the Bengals, but, let's face it, they are the best team in the AFC North division. After whipping the Bengals in Cincinnati 27-13, the Steelers are 4-2 and looking like the AFC's best team.

"It was like taking candy from a baby," says Steeler running back Jerome Bettis, who, when hungry enough, has no problem taking candy from a baby, "and then slapping the baby's momma."

The Steelers completed a 2-1 run against a murderer's row of AFC powerhouses, with wins at San Diego and Cincinnati sandwiching Week 7's loss to the Jags.

"If that's a murderer's row," says Bill Cowher, "then our upcoming four games would have to be considered a shoplifter's row. Let's see, we've got the Ravens on Halloween, we're at Green Bay next week, then at home against the Browns, then we go to Baltimore. That should be four easy wins."

The win at Cincy was the Steelers' 10th straight road win, which should send a message to the rest of the AFC. That message is: "If you want to beat us in the AFC Championship game, make sure we're playing in Pittsburgh."

The Ravens' season to forget just got more forgettable. Safety Ed Reed and linebacker Ray Lewis will miss the game with injuries.

"There goes our only chance to score, right there," complains Ravens' coach Brian Billick, sneaking a peak behind him for a Ravens executive with a pink slip.

The once-formidable Jamal Lewis is only averaging 2.9 yards a carry. The Steelers very well may hold him under that. Baltimore's nightmare continues.

"We can't score," quoth the Ravens. "We can't score."

Steelers dominate, punish, and win, 30-3.

Posted by Jeffrey Boswell at 9:16 PM | Comments (6)

David Stern: My New Pariah

As corrupt and greedy-on-the-backs-of-others as the ownership ranks of the corporate world can be, it's rare that you will see a CEO enact a policy that's frankly antagonistic to the vast majority of his or her employees.

Congratulations, David Stern, you're in select company.

I'm sure everyone knows by now that Stern has enacted a dress code for his players at "NBA functions," which amounts to, if you're not in your team's uniform, you have to wear David's uniform. The NBA has climbed aboard on the neat look that will cure all of society's ills, the business casual look.

The fact that Stern has a right to enact these dress codes, and the players can accept it or be gone, can be taken for granted. So the issue to me isn't whether he can or can't do that, because clearly he can. It's whether he should or shouldn't — and he certainly should not.

Many are speculating whether this dictum amounts to racism. I don't think this was a consciously racist decision by Stern and the boys, but the issue of race is absolutely 100% pertinent in this case. If the NBA was made up primarily of Amish, injured players would wear traditional Amish garb on the sidelines because that's their culture. Stern wouldn't care.

If the NBA was made up primarily of German traditionalists, injured players would wear lederhosen on the sidelines because that's their culture. Stern wouldn't care.

The clothes injured black players wear represent black culture. So why are they being banned? What's the difference?

Apparently, Stern feels that the street clothes he sees today are hurting his product. In his new policy, he bans some universal accessories such as caps, headphones, whatever. So is it those items that are the scourge of the league, the kind of thing that's hurting his product?

No. If it was, he would've banned them 10 or 20 years ago. It's obvious he sees something now that he feels he has to act on now, that's hurting his product now. So what it the difference between the clothes on NBA sidelines now and 10 years ago?

FUBU. Low riders. Hats to the side. That sort of thing.

To ban the uncontroversial items like headphones is a smokescreen to get rid of the new fashions he dislikes while still appearing to be content-neutral. If not, the timing of the move doesn't make any sense, does it?

So what "culture" do the new clothes belong to? It's not thug culture, it's black culture.

Don't agree? Well, tell it to the straight-A kids in the inner-city who wear FUBU. Tell it to the drug counselors and the community leaders. It's not just drug dealers wearing this stuff. The guy who designed the first RocaWear coat, I imagine, never robbed a liquor store and didn't pass out his clothes in crack dens. In India, the lowest criminals and the most honorable men both wear silk kurtas. If the league was primarily Indian, and they all wore silk kurtas on the sidelines...

And yet, David Stern, a guy who has about as much in common culturally with the vast majority of his players as the CEO of McDonalds has with his employees, is prepared to make that cultural judgment anyway. He's prepared to say, and essentially has said, "those kind of clothes send a bad message. The good message, the right message, the civil message, is portrayed by wearing the clothes of my culture — the affluent. Employees, heretofore you have to stop wearing your ghetto black stuff and start wearing my affluent Land's End stuff." It's important and relevant that he's asking them to dress the way he and most other NBA executives already do.

Again, I'm not challenging Stern's right to make this decision. I'm challenging the justness, the motivations, and explaining how race plays a big part in this, whether Stern realizes it or not. Anytime we tell people, "If you want me to pay you, don't dress the way you're comfortable, dress the way I am comfortable," and that there's a right and wrong way to dress, we are doing our part to keep the flames of racism, classism, and prejudice going. Same goes for you if you forgive or defend these decisions.

As a marketing ploy, this move is going to backfire in a big way. If the middle American red-staters that Stern is trying to attract are convinced that NBA players are thugs, putting them in a different outfit certainly won't change their opinion (as I suspect the protesters in the comments section will bear out). However, since this move does represent a big middle finger raised to urban America, the America that buys scads of NBA-licensed products and wears the clothes the players can't anymore except on their own time, it's hard to figure out how this won't be a money-loser. Who will Stern blame then? Hint: not himself, or any of his actions to make the sport more pseudo-sanitized.

P.S. Don't kid yourself into think that low-riders, FUBU etc., doesn't really count as black culture because a lot of white kids, including plenty in the NBA and in the affluent suburbs, have co-opted the look. Just in case anyone had an inkling...

P.P.S. So you yourself have to dress like that for your job. Great. Difference is, you weren't allowed to wear t-shirts and jeans yesterday, and no longer allowed to today. The corporate trend in dress codes these days seems to be less formal, not more. The thinking is, "Who gives a rip what you wear, will you work hard? Good, then we want you to be comfortable." What a brave man Stern is to buck that trend.

Posted by Kevin Beane at 4:21 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

October 26, 2005

Bluebook Notes #7: BCS Rankings

Each year, there is a debate as to which conference is the toughest in the country. The SEC people think the Pac-10 teams play no defense. The Pac-10 people think that the Big 10 teams play an antiquated version of football where passing and improvisation are banned — and so on and so forth.

I thought it would be interesting to rank the conferences to determine which one was the best. I will primarily rank the six BCS conferences based upon the strength of the top third of their teams. No one really cares if Kentucky would beat Arizona until sometime in March, so that's why I'm not looking at the conferences from top to bottom.

Nevertheless, parity will be considered, as well. A conference that has strong flagship teams, and is loaded from top to bottom will be ranked higher than one without. Now that the ground rules have been established, let's get started.

6) Big East

Top four teams: West Virginia, Rutgers, Louisville, South Florida
Parity level: Medium

I don't think that anyone would argue that the Big East is currently the worst BCS conference right now. Even West Virginia, the highest-ranked team in the Big East, doesn't have a prayer at winning or even playing in the National Championship Game. The parity level in the conference is decent, as an argument could be made for both Pitt and Connecticut to be mentioned in the top four, but the high level of competition needed for a better ranking is sorely lacking.

5) Big 12

Top four teams: Texas, Texas Tech, Colorado, Texas A&M
Parity level: Medium

The Big 12 has a history of being one of the toughest conferences in the nation. Unfortunately, they are down this season with only two teams ranked in the top 25. Texas is the runaway leader, and the talent level drops off considerably after that. Texas Tech looked lost in Austin this Saturday, and Colorado, while playing above expectations, has failed to maintain a top-25 ranking. The parity level in this conference is tricky, because there are six teams (Colorado, Missouri, Nebraska, Texas A&M, Oklahoma, and Iowa State) that are very close as far as talent level. However, since Texas is so much better than the rest, a "medium" ranking is deserved. I look for the Big 12 to be much stronger next year, but for now, they get no better than fifth in my book.

4) Big 10

Top four teams: Penn State, Northwestern, Ohio State, Wisconsin
Parity level: Very high

This had to be one of the most difficult rankings I have ever made in my writing career. If I were judging purely on conference balance, the Big 10 would probably be number one. The parity in this league is amazing, as there are at least seven teams with very reasonable chances to win the crown. However, I feel that this parity also indicates a level of mediocrity within the conference, as well. There is no dominant team that can break from the pack and assert their will. Also, the conference has badly underperformed against other BCS divisions. Many of the top teams (Michigan, Northwestern, and Ohio State) have had costly losses against teams when they have played teams outside of the conference. Finally, since there are no true national championship contenders in the Big 10, I believe their ranking is justified.

3) SEC

Top four teams: Georgia, Alabama, LSU, Florida
Parity level: Medium-high

There can be a legitimate argument made to place this conference much higher, however, I have to stand by their current placement. I put the SEC third because of two factors. The first is the Georgia and Alabama's viability to continue to contend for a national title with in their current situation. Georgia almost lost to a miserable Arkansas team without D.J. Shockley and Alabama should have lost at home to Tennessee. The second is that after the top six teams (the top four plus Auburn and Tennessee), the remainder of the conference has been deplorable.

2) Pac-10

Top four teams: USC, UCLA, Oregon, California
Parity level: Medium-high

The Pac-10 has two legitimate national title contenders with USC and UCLA. One of these teams will be in Pasadena this year playing for the national championship. The Pac-10 has also performed well against the other BCS conferences as mid-tier Arizona State lost a winnable game against LSU and demolished Northwestern, 52-21. ASU, Stanford, Washington State, and Oregon State are all difficult teams to handle for even the upper echelon, and only Washington and Arizona are true bottom-feeders. This conference holds a very slight edge over the SEC in my opinion, and will demonstrate its strength in the bowl games in December and January.

1) ACC

Top four teams: Virginia Tech, Miami, Florida State, Boston College
Parity level: High

The ACC is the best conference in college football. Let's start with their top teams. Virginia Tech has a good chance of heading to Pasadena, and Miami and Florida State cannot be counted out (remember Tennessee in 1998). Boston College is a legitimate top-15 team, and will spring an upset before this season is over. Speaking of upsets, Clemson and Georgia Tech, the ACC's fifth and sixth teams, have delivered with wins over higher rated teams in other conferences. Virginia, Maryland, and North Carolina have all impressed with quality wins during this season, and even Wake Forest has played well. The ACC has earned their number one ranking, and will have the most teams out of all of the BCS conferences in bowl games this year.

The HeisDAQ

The race for the Heisman Trophy fluctuates week by week. The HeisDAQ will let you know whose Heisman "stock" is rising and falling. Now that the race is winding down, I will highlight the five guys with the best chances of taking home the hardware.

1) Reggie Bush, RB/KR/PR USC (strong buy) — Bush has only enhanced his chances of winning the Heisman with a solid performance last week. His 86-yard punt return was something special and was shown over and over on SportsCenter. He has proven that he has the ability necessary to get the trophy.

2) Vince Young, QB Texas (strong buy) — V.Y. has overtaken Matt Leinart and is performing well week after week. His two interceptions against Texas Tech on Saturday were overshadowed by the absolute dominance of his team.

3) Matt Leinart, QB USC (buy) — Leinart is still very much in the Heisman race even though I've dropped him down to third. He had a nice rebound game against the Huskies and was back to his dominating self. However, I just don't think he's had the type of season that was needed to repeat as Heisman trophy winner. We will see.

4) Brady Quinn, QB Notre Dame (buy) — Quinn had an electrifying six-touchdown performance against BYU. He showed no signs of a hangover after the bitter defeat to USC and led his team to a convincing win over the Cougars. Unfortunately for Quinn, the gap between him and the top three is considerable and he will need a miracle in order to win.

5) Maurice Drew, RB UCLA (speculative buy) — Drew has become the wildcard in the Heisman race. He is having a phenomenal year and has become the most feared punt-returner in the country (yes, including Reggie Bush). He will stay in the hunt as long as the Bruins stay undefeated and cracks the top three if they beat USC.

Games to Watch/Picks to Click

Season Record: 11-8 ATS; Last Week: 1-2 ATS

Georgia (+4) @ Florida

Most people believe that Florida will win this game handily, but I'm not ready to buy off on that yet. The loss of D.J. Shockley hurts Georgia, but the Bulldog defense has really been the key to their success and they are still in tact. Nevertheless, I do think that Florida will win, as they have had time to prepare and heal up due to their bye week. It will be close, but Florida pulls it out in a squeaker.

Fixed Leak 20, Bulldogged 14

Michigan @ Northwestern (+3)

This will be the game that proves that Northwestern is for real. They are underdogs on paper, due to Michigan's reputation, but I believe they will win this game. Brett Basanez has been on fire lately, and has played as well as anyone in the Big 10. Michigan still has injury problems, but I believe they will make it a competitive game. The Wolverines must be able to run the ball effectively to have a chance.

Sons of Darnell Autry 31, Michiganders 27

UCLA @ Stanford (+7 ½)

The Cardinal have had a history of upsetting good UCLA teams. This will be on everyone's mind as the Bruins march up to the farm on Saturday. Trent Edwards, Stanford's quarterback, has looked as good as anyone in the Pac-10 recently and has the Cardinal on a three-game winning streak. However, the undefeated Bruins will prevail due to their better balance on offense, and the fact that Stanford's running game is not where it needs to be.

Dorrell's Bruins 42, Trees 31

Mailbag

This week's e-mail comes from Jeb in College Station, TX:

Reggie McNeal a flop! You must be kidding me! Reggie doesn't play on defense nor special teams, and since when has one person been responsible for the fate of an entire team. Reggie is a much better quarterback than everyone gives him credit for, and just because he's not in running for the Hypesman doesn't mean that he lacks skills. Please don't jump back on the bandwagon when he leads the Ags over the Horns.

Jeb, I don't think McNeal is a flop, I just think his campaign for Heisman Trophy winner has flop. Reggie McNeal is one of the best quarterbacks in the country, but he's just not performing at a level that will warrant serious Heisman consideration. I love his game, but his team just hasn't been able to win the higher-profile games (Clemson and Colorado). I don't know if the Ags will win against UT, but if they do, I will be the first to sing his praises.

Do you think that I'm "off my rocker," or did I hit the proverbial "nail on the head?" Let me know! Send an e-mail to [email protected] and include your name and hometown. I'll do my best to include it in the next week's column.

Posted by Avery Smith at 9:58 PM | Comments (2)

October 25, 2005

NFL Week 7 Power Rankings

Five Quick Hits

* Add Bill Vinovich to my "indisputable visual evidence" blacklist. His offense wasn't as bad as some previous ones, but I think Brooks Bollinger's fumble at the end of the third quarter should have stood as called.

* I defy you to explain how the person who wrote this headline got a job with a prestigious newspaper.

* Baseball Tonight is way better than NFL Live.

* Chester Taylor is way better than Jamal Lewis.

* We all know Warrick Dunn is fast. So consider that he got caught on his 65-yard breakout Monday night, and Tony Dorsett once took a handoff 99 yards. It remains one of the most impressive accomplishments in league history.

* Special Sixth Quick Hit: Wellington Mara died shortly after I wrote this column. Mara was one of the great figures in the NFL, a man universally respected and honored by those who followed the league. My best wishes to all those who loved him.

***

Monday night's contest was a pretty solid win for the Falcons, who established control early and held on late, but it might have gone much differently if Jets center Kevin Mawae had been healthy. First, Pete Kendall, subbing for Mawae, muffed the snap exchange with Vinny Testaverde, and Atlanta recovered to set up its first touchdown. On the next series, Kendall let Antwan Lake go totally unblocked, resulting in a sack and another fumble recovered by the Falcons. That one led to a field goal. The Jets managed to punt on their next possession, but on the first play of their fourth drive, Kendall missed his assignment and Rod Coleman sacked Testaverde for a third fumble, which the Falcons returned for a touchdown. The Jets were in a 17-0 hole.

Some blame has to go to Testaverde, who failed to notice or respond to the pressure, but those things don't happen with Mawae in the game. A healthy Mawae also would have meant a better night for Curtis Martin. Mawae is probably the best run-blocking center in football, so Martin likely would have averaged more than two yards per carry against Atlanta's subpar rush defense, and without that 17-0 deficit, the Jets could have committed to the run in a way they never got around to.

Even with all the problems, the Jets had a chance in this sloppy game. Michael Vick threw three interceptions and had a 16.3 passer rating. At the beginning of the broadcast, the announcers compared Vick to Steve Young, another left-handed quarterback who was a successful runner. In Young's first season as the 49ers' full-time starter (1992), he ran 18.9% of the time, which is significantly less than Vick's 2005 average of 28.0%. More importantly, though, Young completed two-thirds of his passes, averaged 8.6 yards per attempt, and tossed almost four times as many TDs as interceptions. Vick is completing 52% of his passes, with a 5.7 average and more INTs than touchdowns. No one denies his athletic talent or the dynamic plays he can make, but his passing hasn't improved since the day he was drafted.

The problem is not that Vick runs — although he's going to have a short career if things keep going this way — it's that he can't throw. On third down, you'd rather have Vick take off running than put the ball in the air.

On to the power rankings. Brackets indicate last week's rank. I'm having a good season.

1. Indianapolis Colts [1] — Drawing conclusions from two games is not a great idea, but the Colts are a consensus number one, and I'm looking for potential areas of concern, so go with me here. After allowing just 29 points through their first five games — an average of 5.8 — Indianapolis has given up 48 the last two weeks, including 20 this week against Houston's last-ranked offense. That includes a special teams touchdown, and Indy's defense really did a nice job against the Texans, but the last two weeks, the Colts' scores have looked a lot like they did in 2004. If you're looking for a weak point, run defense might be it. The team is allowing opponents a 4.5 average, 27th in the NFL.

2. Pittsburgh Steelers [2] — I wouldn't have played Ben Roethlisberger this week, risking his health in a game the Steelers probably could have won with Tommy Maddox, but it paid off. Roethlisberger played a great game, wasn't re-injured, and led his team to a convincing victory that could play a major role in determining who wins the AFC North. The Steelers are going to breeze through their next three games.

3. Denver Broncos [3] — As if we needed another argument against the use of prevent defense, defensive coordinator Larry Coyer gave it to us on Sunday. Playing on the road against a Giants offense that has been inconsistent but explosive this season, the Broncos gave Eli Manning time to throw. He completed four passes to Amani Toomer, two each to Tiki Barber and Plaxico Burress, and a 24-yarder to Jeremy Shockey. You can't cover those guys forever, even with seven men in coverage.

4. Jacksonville Jaguars [5] — Tom Coughlin is one of the NFL's old-school coaches, a Bill Parcells guy. He's not part of the "old coach" fraternity — that's Parcells, Joe Gibbs, Dick Vermeil, and depending upon who you ask, maybe Marty Schottenheimer. But those four, plus Coughlin and probably Bill Belichick, but not too many others, have their own way of doing things, similar to each other and different from most other coaches in a way I can't articulate in this space, but I really like seeing it. I love the respect they have for each other, too, especially between Gibbs and his rivals.

5. San Diego Chargers [4] — I'm almost positive I've never had a team with a losing record ranked so highly this late in the season, and if they don't start actually winning close games against good teams soon, they'll sink fast. It's tough, though, not to regard this week's loss as a little bit of a fluke. If there were great teams to move ahead of them, I'd do it. For now, just realize I'm not happy about this.

6. Seattle Seahawks [7] — Mike Ditka, talking about this week's last-minute win over Dallas, said, "These are games that they would've lost last year." The difference between the '04 Seahawks and the '05 Seahawks is less about the roster than the attitude. Last year's team went in the tank after it choked against the Rams in Week 5. This year's group has confidence and heart, and it's playing hard even in hard situations.

7. Atlanta Falcons [8] — "If there's any defensive lineman that's close to the speed of Michael Vick, it's John Abraham." Uh, Mr. Madden, I know you've seen Dwight Freeney and Julius Peppers, and they're both faster than Abraham. Or how about Derrick Burgess, who sacked Vick twice in last year's NFC Championship Game? Madden called his worst game since 2001, his last year at FOX with Pat Summerall, when both of them seemed confused or worse.

8. New England Patriots [10] — Key divisional matchup against Buffalo coming up, but the game everyone wants to see is Week 9 against the Colts. The Patriots have dominated the rivalry, but many familiar figures — Richard Seymour, Tedy Bruschi, Ty Law, Rodney Harrison — will be missing or less than 100%, and this Colts team seems more sound than previous ones. I expect New England to roll against the Bills, and I've raised them above Philly and Washington basically on faith in Bill Belichick's ability to improve the team during its bye week.

9. Philadelphia Eagles [9] — If I were playing against Philadelphia, I would blitz McNabb all game. You'll give up a couple big plays on screens and three-step drops early in the contest, but you'll be hitting an already-injured quarterback on every play. What if the Eagles' problem isn't that they don't run the ball, but that they can't? They're 26th in average (3.4), and I'm beginning to wonder if Andy Reid knows something we don't.

Some analysts say that's just Reid's game, it's the way they play. But if you look at their previous four seasons, when they went to the NFC Championship Game, the Eagles were in the top 10 in average each year, and they finished 14th, 7th, 9th, and 24th in rushing yards. This season they're 32nd, trailing the Cardinals by over 13 yards per game. They're still winning for now, but I think Philadelphia is winning in spite of its offensive philosophy, not because of it. McNabb can't take it forever, and if this keeps up, the defense won't last, either.

10. Washington Redskins [12] — This is less a reaction to their ugly blowout over San Francisco than my getting used to the idea that Washington is good again. It's hard to overstate the degree to which Washington dominated the game, leading 52-7 before a couple of late scores made San Francisco's offensive output seem respectable. Their next three games are all tough, and could be a barometer for Washington's success the rest of the season.

11. Cincinnati Bengals [6] — Run defense is a problem, and opponents have been exploiting it more and more over the past month. Domanick Davis rushed for 81 and a 4.3 average in Cincinnati's disturbingly close victory over Houston, then Fred Taylor posted 132 with a 5.5 average in Jacksonville's Week 5 win. Tennessee's Chris Brown had 84 yards on a 4.7 average, plus his first two TDs of the season. And this week, Willie Parker averaged 7.3 yards per attempt, finishing with 131. The Bengals are 27th in rushing defense and 29th in average per carry against.

12. Tampa Bay Buccaneers [11] — Should win their next two games, then they have tough matchups against Washington and at Atlanta, followed by a home game against Chicago, which should be another win. After that, the Bucs play four of their last five games against NFC South opponents, and that stretch will probably determine whether or not Tampa Bay makes the playoffs.

13. Dallas Cowboys [13] — Probably should be ranked ahead of Cincinnati and Tampa, but first I want to see them beat the Cardinals, soundly, without any fourth-quarter drama. Everyone knew the NFC East would be better this season, but it's become the best division in the NFL.

14. Kansas City Chiefs [15] — Playing on short rest and traveling on game day, Kansas City still dominated the Dolphins in Miami, controlling time of possession by better than 2:1, outgaining their opponents by nearly 200 yards, and holding the Dolphins to just nine first downs. The loser of next week's game at San Diego will miss the postseason. They're both good teams, but at 4-2 and 3-4, the loser is done.

15. New York Giants [16] — Could be higher than this, and will be if they beat Washington next week or ever get a good win on the road. There's a lot of room between 15th and 16th this week, and not much between here and Jacksonville, so the Giants could move up quickly if they play well.

16. Carolina Panthers [15] — All alone in this spot, nowhere near overtaking the Giants for 15th, but way ahead of the Lions at 17th. That could change very quickly if they lose to Minnesota.

17. Detroit Lions [18] — Injuries take some of the shine off their road win in Cleveland, but Jeff Garcia brings vitality to an offense that wasn't going anywhere with Joey Harrington. Garcia is a playmaker, a leader, and winner who sometimes is bigger than his stats, and he's only going to get healthier.

18. Chicago Bears [20] — Like stupid statistics? The Bears are averaging 33 points per game against division opponents, and just 8.5 against teams outside the NFC North. I guess that means you should take the over when they play in Detroit next week. The winner will take over sole possession of first place in the division, with the inside track to a playoff spot. The 2005 Bears remind me of Washington in 2004, only not in the same division as the Eagles.

19. Oakland Raiders [21] — I keep waiting for the other shoe to drop on Kerry Collins. He was an interception machine last season, and over the past two years combined, he had more picks than touchdowns. This year, he's keeping the ball away from opponents and the only real complaint is a low completion percentage. The Raiders' defensive backfield suffered some injuries this weekend, or I'd probably have them higher.

20. Buffalo Bills [17] — Willis McGahee declared definitively that he was the best running back in the NFL, then backed it up by gaining 50 yards, with a 3.1 average and no touchdowns, against the 23rd-ranked Oakland defense.

21. Miami Dolphins [22] — The run defense got slaughtered for the second week in a row, but Ronnie Brown is looking more and more like the real deal, and that has to be encouraging for a team that's rebuilding on offense.

22. Baltimore Ravens [19] — Another 11 penalties, including three 15-yard roughness fouls. The offensive line was once among the best in the league, but this year its leaders, Jonathan Ogden and Edwin Mulitalo, look like the game has passed them by. Both are over 30, and they're not playing at the same level they did in their late twenties. Ray Lewis and Ed Reed are expected to miss Monday night's game at Pittsburgh, so I expect it to be an ugly loss.

23. St. Louis Rams [26] — Won without Marc Bulger or Mike Martz, the latter of whom is done for the season and probably with the Rams organization. Not to kick a guy when he's down, and I wish Martz the best with regards to his health, but I think it would be a mistake for the team to bring him back next year. Let Joe Vitt audition for the job over the next nine games, and if he doesn't earn it, hire an assistant from Pittsburgh or Washington.

24. Arizona Cardinals [27] — Gained fewer than half as many yards as the Titans, but scored 20 points in a row for a comfortable 10-point win. Josh McCown's game can't really be called "efficient" — which is the word we usually use for a bad outing from a winning quarterback — because McCown completed fewer than half his passes and averaged only five yards per attempt, but Arizona just seems to win games — at least against bad teams — when McCown plays. Dennis Green would be nuts to put Kurt Warner back in at this point.

25. New Orleans Saints [25] — At what point do you know for sure that your team has been cursed? Is it when the strongest hurricane ever to hit U.S. soil devastates your home city? When you play a "home" game against the Giants in the Meadowlands? Maybe losing to an 0-4 team by seven touchdowns? If you weren't convinced by those, last week's loss to Atlanta on an unusual call by an official, and this week's loss to St. Louis — on a plainly wrong call — have certainly supplied some evidence.

26. Tennessee Titans [23] — The personnel to be competitive really is not there. The Titans have an unusual mix of very good players, and people in totally over their heads. Lack of depth is a problem.

27. Cleveland Browns [24] — Trent Dilfer had his second really rocky day as a Brown, and there were actually rumors on Monday that Charlie Frye could get the start at Houston in Week 8. Two weeks ago Dilfer was still a savior in Cleveland.

28. Minnesota Vikings [30] — How was Mewelde Moore not the starting running back at the beginning of the season? The Vikings' offense, in the second half, finally acted like it did last year. All it took was a really pathetic pass defense.

29. New York Jets [29] — Worst playcall I've seen all season: whatever they had planned from the shotgun on fourth-and-one at the end of the game. By lining up in the shotgun, you give up the threat of a run, which — with the choices being Curtis Martin or Brooks Bollinger — the defense had to be expecting. Why make their jobs easier? Terrible, terrible idea, and it may have cost them the game.

30. Green Bay Packers [28] — Running backs can't stay healthy. Wide receivers can't stay healthy. Brett Favre can't play more than one position. This is why it's so ridiculous when people try to blame quarterbacks for not winning Super Bowls. There are 53 guys out there, and the Dan Marinos and Brett Favres and Warren Moons of the world get stuck on bad teams sometimes. Anyone else notice John Madden saying on MNF that George Blanda was better than Moon? I'm gonna have to go ahead and disagree with that.

31. Houston Texans [32] — I would like to use this space to issue a public apology to the Texans for ranking them below San Francisco last week. It's worth noting, though, that Houston was outgained by almost 300 yards on Sunday, and hasn't held a lead all season.

32. San Francisco 49ers [31] — Alex Smith is to a good defense as a lamb is to wolves. I don't understand Mike Nolan's timing, starting Smith against Indianapolis and Washington, both of whom ate him alive. The kid looked like a deer in headlights on Sunday. He's injured and may not play next week, but it doesn't really matter at this point.

Posted by Brad Oremland at 7:29 PM | Comments (8)

Random World Series Observations

*Comparing Brad Lidge to Byung-Hyun Kim is unfair, patently. At least, until Lidge surrenders a second game-losing home run in the current World Series, before going forth to post a followup season of 36 saves or more, while leading the league in the so-called tough saves, and being treated regardless as though he were a mere pitch away from landing on the lists of the nation's 10 most-wanted arsonists. Even so, it would be unfair to compare Lidge to Kim until he then goes forth to overwork himself in search of a cure, but discovering instead that he may have overworked himself into career endangerment.

* Any man who averages 8 home runs per 162 games can hit a game-winning home run, in the World Series or otherwise, so long as the pitch is hittable, and the wind blows at the proper volume toward right field on a rainy night in Chicago south.

* There's no further reason for anyone to insist that baseball requires a salary cap on behalf of competitive balance, the better to bring baseball to parity with the National Football League and the National Basketball Association. Eighteen different teams have won the 29 World Series since the advent of free agency. Thirteen NFL teams have won the last 30 Super Bowls, 10 NBA teams have won the last 30 NBA championships, both those leagues have salary caps, but it is baseball that lacks competitive balance.

* When last I looked, the Chicago White Sox have a franchise history that includes five pennants, two World Series championships, seven playoff appearances, and, sorry, but one thrown World Series. The Chicago Cubs, by comparison, have 10 pennants, two World Series championships, and 14 playoff appearances. It's more than premature for the White Sox to assert any historic superiority over the Cubs, whatever superiority they have in this year's picture.

* The Houston Astros now leave only one of the major leagues' original expansion class lacking even a World Series appearance. Should the Astros revive to win this year's Series, they would also leave only one of the major leagues' original expansion class lacking a World Series ring.

* A great movie could be made about the life of Casey Stengel, but the only man in America who might be qualified to portray him is Sparky Anderson. And he can't act. Concurrently, Ozzie Guillen is the first man in baseball since Casey Stengel to speak in a language entirely his own. But Guillen can't play Stengel in a movie, either. If you tend to believe Stengel was born in his 60s, Guillen simply isn't old enough.

* Speak if you must about a player or a team choking. But the next time you do, you might give a thought to the idea that to accuse one player or team of choking is to accuse the opposing player or team, concurrently, of not being good enough to win.

* Whether the news at this writing, that Larry Bowa "is set to become the third base coach of the New York Yankees," translates into Larry Bowa "is being groomed to become the next manager of the New York Yankees," remains to be seen. What does not remain to be seen is what seems to be the obvious. The blustery Bowa, and we use "blustery" politely, has the kind of personality that George Steinbrenner may only think is the personality of a winner. When all is said and enough is done, Steinbrenner may never have surrendered his thought that winners turn clubhouses into high tension acts, maybe even compromise if not wreck a career or two. He has certainly not surrendered his ignorance of how many division titles, pennants, or World Series Bowa has won. Bowa has won one less title than Joe Torre had ever won before Torre came to the Yankees — to win eight division titles, six pennants, and four World Series rings.

* Only one reason makes sense as to why Orel Hershiser would even consider managing the Los Angeles Dodgers. Here is a hint: consider Hershiser a disciple of Tommy Lasorda, from the same class as his former catcher Mike Scioscia; and, consider that Hershiser will suffer neither a fool or a statistical martinet gladly, when said martinet thinks chemistry doesn’t count and the manager knows less of baseball than John McCain and Russ Feingold know of the First Amendment. Then, the prospective deal would seem to be Hershiser to the Dodgers in exchange for Paul DePodesta to the unemployment office. Presumably, that's where DePodesta might bump into someone willing to explain how statistical measurement plus chemical balance equaled the 2004 Red Sox. He already knows the sum of statistical measurements plus chemical imbalance.

* The ironies abound in the Harriet Miers hoopla. Some of her supporters proclaim that you don't need to be a Constitutional lawyer to construe the Constitution. They attack some of her critics a) for pointing out that she has never addressed issues of serious Constitutional import, during her long and competent legal career; and, b) if they are not themselves Constitutional lawyers. They also attack some of her critics for criticizing the President's nominating her to the Supreme Court, but they defend a President whose construction of the Constitution inspired him to violate his Constitutional oath of office by signing a bill, written and passed by Congress, that abridges freedom of speech, or of the press.

Some of Ms. Miers's supporters also proclaim themselves from the lunch box class, denouncing some of their adversaries as from the attaché-case elite, on behalf of a woman who has been a lifelong, case-carrying member of the bar. Whether the lunch box or the attaché case represents "legitimate" work is a question eclipsed only by the point that the lunch box carries food and the attaché case food for thought. The flavor of the former dissipates within the hour, but the flavor of the latter lingers for years.

All of which are points that probably escape the comprehension of people who think professional baseball does not require work to play well.

* If you loved him or remember him for nothing else, the late Oakland Athletics radio announcer Bill King should be remembered at least for the following observation: "Once again, in this stadium, as in all of life, idle minds succumb to the wave." That was almost as valuable as the time the best Jose Canseco could do was a pitiful, offline, looping blooper. And, the time Jascha Heifetz never played a violin with more dexterity than Ken Stabler played the Minnesota Vikings in the Rose Bowl. All of which is enough to make a non-Oaklander wonder what King had to say for the idle minds that made idle hands succumb to beach balls in the grandstands.

Posted by Jeff Kallman at 6:58 PM | Comments (0)

For (True) Love of the Game

People deal with loss in different ways. Some people participate in support groups. Some people turn to alcohol and drugs. Some people fill the void with hours of exercise. And then some people just play baseball.

That's what 22-year-old Peter Ciofrone was doing with the Fort Wayne Wizards, an affiliate of the San Diego Padres.

Ciofrone, who lost his father at the end of the season last year, said that this loss still affects him today and will probably be very hard for him until the day he dies.

"He was my best friend. It hurts not being able to call him after a good game that I had," Ciofrone said of his father. "I have my mother to call, but it's a different feeling telling your mother about the game and then telling Dad."

But the emptiness that he feels doesn't stop the 5-10, 205-lb. infielder of Smithtown, New York, from following his dreams.

Like most New Yorkers, Ciofrone grew up rooting for the Yankees, but in 2002, he was drafted out of high school in the 16th round by the Yankees' most despised enemy — the Boston Red Sox.

"At first, my friends kind of got on me because of that strong rivalry," said Ciofrone, "but I liked playing for them. It didn't bother me at all."

The youngest of three boys, Ciofrone has been playing baseball since he was about 3-years-old, and fresh out of high school, he wanted to get started in professional baseball as soon as possible. Although he had many offers from colleges, baseball was his one and only love, and he wanted to get "married" to it right away.

But after two years in Boston's organization at Augusta (Low-A), which is now affiliated with the Giants, he was traded on July 2, 2004, to the Padres for right-handed pitcher Brandon Puffer. Last season, Ciofrone played for the Wizards, where he also had the highest batting average (.301) and third-highest on-base percentage (.391) among his teammates who played in 40-plus games.

"I was in shock," he said of when he first learned of the trade. "I walked into the clubhouse, and I hadn't been in the starting lineup that day and the day before that and thought something was kind of weird. I was always in the lineup. So I got changed and said to my buddies, ‘Watch guys. Watch, I got traded.'

"When I got out to the field, I was called into the office with the minor league director, pitching coach, and hitting coach, and they told me the news. I was in shock, but they told me I got traded straight up for a big-leaguer, so it was unlike anything that's ever happened in my career so far."

The Padres' and the bidding colleges' interest in him was mostly because of his ability to get on base. In his last year of high school, he walked 20 times and was hit by pitches ten times. It almost seemed as if he were a Yankee player in that no one "liked" him.

"I think in high school, pitchers would have rather just hit me than try to pitch to me and make a mistake," Ciofrone said.

But even recently, he has led his team in the number of times hit by pitches with, coincidentally, 10.

"It's tough getting hit by pitches, but I like getting the on base percentage. If that's the only way I can get on base to help my team, I'm happy for it."

It's that team-before-self attitude of his that has been the reason for his success in baseball. After winning the Gold Glove Award all four years of high school, the Padres haven't really found a position for him on the field, but that extra experience is okay with him.

"If my playing more positions will give me an advantage over a guy who just plays one, then that's fine with me," said Ciofrone. "I'll play anywhere — left field, third, first — wherever they want to put me."

Well, as long as it's not at designated hitter. Last season, he was the DH for 56 games and saw his average drop from .340 when he played third base to .278 at DH.

"I didn't like being the designated hitter at all," he said. "It's very hard to stay in the game because whenever you made an out or struck out, all you think about is that at-bat. Meanwhile, when you're playing the field, you can go back out to the field, forget about your at-bat, make a good play, and look forward to your next at-bat. So that was tough for me, especially playing in Fort Wayne where it was cold and trying to stay warm."

However, it did give him a greater appreciation for the David Ortiz's who play that role on a daily basis and play it well. So why put him in the DH role? Is his defense a problem?

"I honestly think that there is a misconception about my defense because I had a rough year during my first year with the Red Sox. I was an 18-year-old kid, and I was nervous. They moved me over to second, where I had never played before, so I made a few errors.

"I feel like I have a lot to improve in the field, but I also feel like I'm a good fielder, and they haven't really seen that."

In the big scheme of things, that's not important to Ciofrone. To him, family comes first, and losing his father has only brought him closer to his mom and his brothers.

"We talk every day. I'm so much more sensitive to my mom and her feelings because she was married to my dad for 35 years, right out of high school. And now, she doesn't have him around, and it's so hard on her.

"My brothers and I have gotten so much closer too. We were a close family anyway, but this just brought us much closer. My dad treated my brothers and me so well, and he treated my mom so great," he said. "He was the best Dad I could ever ask for."

Ciofrone plans on getting a tattoo soon in remembrance of his father that Wizards teammate Matt Lauderdale sketched for him.

"When I was growing up, us boys did everything together. We went to Yankees games together, we did everything. When I had baseball games, my father was always there and would take off work early. He was always there — he never missed anything. He was so proud of his boys.

"I know he's looking down on me. I had a really good year, but it was tough. I'm making it through with the Lord's strength, and my family and I will make it through the tough times."

In the meantime, Ciofrone has been working every day on his hamstring and upper and lower body, trying to get stronger so he doesn't get injured again. Last year was his worst season injury-wise, missing two weeks in July with hamstring problems and then several days with a knee sprain. Ciofrone is also taking real estate classes right now as a backup plan, but real estate isn't his dream — baseball is.

"My goal my whole life has been to get to the major leagues," he said. "My dad was always so supportive of me. [Losing him] only pushes me harder to make it there to make him proud.

"Getting called up to the pros will be an emotional day. I'm going to miss my father not being there, but that gives me the motivation to get there even more."

Posted by Sara Normand at 5:52 PM | Comments (0)

Ignorance or Escalation?

Gordon: What do we do about escalation?
Batman: Escalation?
Gordon: We start carrying semi-automatics, they buy automatics. We start wearing Kevlar, they buy armor piercing rounds.
Batman: And?
Gordon: And you're wearing a mask and jumping off rooftops. Now, take this guy. Armed robbery, double homicide. Got a real taste for the theatrical, like you. Leaves a calling card...
Batman: I'll look into it.
— "Batman Begins"

When it comes to the NBA dress code issue, I hope that writers like Scoop Jackson and Chris Broussard are either confused or seriously misguided. They are both fine writers, I just hope that they are completely off-base on this issue. The alternative is too sickening to consider.

Sports journalists have a tactic they use when they get lazy, it's called "say something outlandish to piss people off" and guys like Jay Mariotti have made a career out of it. Columnists and sports fans do the same song and dance in every region and have so for years. It is a foolproof method for the writer who is willing to trade his integrity for sales and attention.

The writer disparages local team and or hero, and irate sports fans buy his newspaper and say things like "Johnny Notsogreatawriter is terrible, that guy couldn't write his way out of a paper box." Then, in the future, the irate sports fans continue to buy newspapers just to see what stupid thing Mr. Notsogreatawriter will say next (it's a terrible coincidence that Johnny got into journalism, because his last name wouldn't carry near the same weight if he was an accountant). It's a dirty trick and reflects poorly on the writer, but there will always be people who fall for this.

The reason most people could get away in the past is because they didn't have much competition in their local markets. That was before ESPN started putting writers on TV. It started innocently enough with "PTI," a show that went over fairly well and became a hit. It then progressed to "Around the Horn," which wasn't terrible at first, but is now about as entertaining as watching someone read a dictionary (a boring someone at that, because if it is someone like Shawn Kemp, I'm tuning in just in case he gets to the "birth control" entry, which would then become my favorite sound bite of all-time). My main problem with the show and similar spin-offs is what they do to get attention.

They went from arguing about the issues to screaming and frothing at the mouth to prove their points. The winner was the one who was the loudest, not the one with the best points. Columnist A couldn't make a point without turning red and responding like Columnist B just threatened to kill A's family and urinate on their gravesite, when in reality he only said that Kobe Bryant needs to pass the ball more. It has now progressed to the point where Woody Paige has to spit on a Florida State hat to get some attention and (somehow) prove his point.

This is what concerns me about writers like Scoop Jackson and Chris Broussard. When the news was released about the NBA dress code, some players responded without thinking, calling it "racist" or, in the words of Tim Duncan, "basically retarded." I'm not giving the players a pass, but I'm not surprised to hear them say stupid things. I did expect more intelligence from the writers.

I was shocked, like most people, when Scoop Jackson called the dress code racist and compared the players to high-priced slaves. Broussard went as far as to suggest that while he is at it, Stern's next move should be to replace all rap music on players' iPods with country. I then began to think that maybe, just maybe, they knew exactly what they were doing.

Could it really have come to this? Could writers be so desperate to make a splash that they have to play the race card? Race is such a sensitive topic today that it is sickening to think that writers would prey upon racial tensions in this country just for attention. How anyone, given the enormity of the issue, could possibly stoop so low to elicit a reaction is beyond me. To steal a phrase from Tim Duncan, it's "basically retarded."

I'm going to give Scoop and Broussard the benefit of the doubt here and assume they are just dead-wrong on this issue. And let's face it, they are wrong. (Does Gary Bettman hate Canadians because he makes them wear ties? Of course not. Dress codes are a part of businesses everywhere, it's just reality. If the players don't like it, they are more than welcome to change careers.) But what if they aren't? What if other writers end up going this route in the not-too-distant future?

I guess it all comes back to Officer Gordon's question - what do we do about escalation? I have no answer, but I'm not sure we can depend on the Caped Crusader to "look into it." I hope it was ignorance, but I'm afraid it is escalation.

The Sports Gospel According to Mark is sponsored by BetOnSports.com. BetOnSports.com gives you the greatest sports action to bet on. Wager on football, cricket, boxing, Rugby, horse racing, and more. Mark Chalifoux is also a weekly columnist for SportsFan Magazine. His columns appear every Tuesday on Sports Central. You can e-mail Mark at [email protected].

Posted by Mark Chalifoux at 4:39 PM | Comments (0)

October 24, 2005

Be Like Mike

Grab a Mike and listen up.

All Mikes are free. Mike Tyson is free from further embarrassment after retiring from boxing. Michael Jackson is free at last. Michael Jordan is free to pretty much do whatever he wants.

In June, two Mikes consumed the headlines and water coolers around the country, and probably in many parts of the world. Both are ingrained in pop culture, and both have seen better days.

While Jordan hasn't been in the news lately (aside from this weekend's report on 60 Minutes), he never really leaves the sports consciousness. He's the benchmark against which all great athletes are measured. As much as Spurs guard Manu Ginobili has emerged, until the media starts clamoring for the "next Manu," Michael is the man.

Meanwhile, the media frenzy surrounding Tyson and Jackson has quieted down, enough so that a fair and accurate analysis is now possible.

The King of the Ring. The King of Hoops. The King of Pop.

So that begs the question: "Man in the Mirror," mirror, on the wall, who's the greatest Mike of them all?

Ring the bell.

Supporting Cast

King of the Ring: Shelly Finkel, Don King, the late Cus D'mato, six children from different mothers, pigeons

King of Hoops: Scottie Pippen, Phil Jackson, Doug Collins, his late father James

King of Pop: Mom and Dad, the other four of the Jackson Five, a stellar legal team on call at all hours, monkeys, millions of adoring fans

EDGE: D'mato brought Tyson from the streets and gave him a career in boxing, but since then he's been betrayed and swindled on a regular basis. Jordan made everyone around him better. Jackson said "adults have let me down." Jordan gets the nod.

Celebrity Buddies

Iron Mike: Robin Givens

Air Jordan: Charles Barkley, Ahmad Rashad

Jacko: Jay Leno, Macaulay Culkin

EDGE: Givens hasn't given us anything since "Boomerang." Whether he is or not, Barkley's created a reputation of being an expert on everything from the NBA to race to politics, and Rashad is there whenever Mike needs a compliment. Culkin is a credible friend, that is when he's not on Xanax or smoking marijuana, and Leno is as two-faced as, well, Jackson himself — one day he's testifying for M.J. and the next, he's fighting for the right to joke about his so-called boy in his monologue. Advantage Jordan.

Future Plans

Tyson: No one knows for sure, but guesses range from missionary work, which he claimed he wanted to do, to a spot on ABC's "Dancing With the Stars" (so he can get another shot at Evander Holyfield), to ESPN's Darren Rovell's prediction of a turn in the unique and violent sport of K-1, to a comeback attempt against the winner of NBC's "The Contender," to a spot on VH1's "The Surreal Life."

Jordan: While most hope that his playing and GM days are behind him, Michael never says never. More baseball is out of the question, unless he says he wants to spend more time with his family. So that leaves him to gamble, play golf, contemplate yet another comeback (please, no!), and look for an NBA team to own.

Jackson: Chill out in a way only he can.

EDGE: Life is good for Jordan, but no one person on the planet is more relieved than Michael Jackson.

Best Lyric

Puncher: "My style is impetuous. My defense is impregnable, and I'm just ferocious. I want your heart. I want to eat his children. Praise be to Allah!"

Shooter: "Sometimes I dream, that he is me, I got to see that's how I dream to be. I dream I move, I dream I groove, like Mike. If I could be like Mike."

Singer: "Showin' how funky and strong is your fight. It doesn't matter who's wrong or right. Just beat it, beat it."

EDGE: Tyson never did eat any children (that we know of), but he has eaten ear, which wins him this category.

Strength of Next Opponent

The Boxer Formerly Known as the Baddest Man on the Planet: After losing to Kevin McBride, Tyson is rumored to be considering a comeback against the deceased James J. Braddock, to be billed as The Cinderella Man vs. the Pumpkin.

His Airness: The most competitive athlete never loses.

Moon Walker: Court of public opinion.

EDGE: Despite the verdict, the American public has formed a somewhat unfavorable and very disturbing impression of Jackson. M.J. is a company in need of serious re-branding.

Greatest in Their Prime

M.T.: Deadly. Destructive. Devastating

M.J.: Cunning. Cool. Celebrated.

M.J.: Talented. Tremendous. Thrilling.

EDGE: They all were great and demonstrated extraordinary ability, but only one was truly unmatched, unbelievable and unreal. No. 23 was and is No. 1.

Signature Move

Tyson: Knockout punch.

Jordan: Fade-away jumper.

Jackson: Tie between moon walk/crotch grab

EDGE: I'm gonna knock you out. Mama said knock you out. Tyson, in his prime, would knock anyone out. Winner by KO.

Tyson's fall from grace has been painful to watch, yet addictive. But those who saw him in his day will remember a vicious fighter with jaw-dropping power. His mere presence intimidated opponents, much like Jordan. But both stars' skills diminished significantly as they approached 40.

Jackson's performances had people crying like he was the second coming of the Beatles, but with the popularity of all four wrapped into one. He sang, danced, and entertained — truly the total package. But the man who was "gonna make a change, for once in [his] life," went through many changes. And then more changes. And eventually, the man in the mirror was nothing like the Thriller we grew up with.

When it's all said and done, it's easy as 1, 2, 3 ("as simple as do re mi, A, B, C"): Jordan wins, as usual. The best there ever was, and the best there ever will be.

Posted by Danny Sternfield at 11:14 AM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

If I Were Coach For a Day

Almost halfway into the 2005 NFL season, a number of teams have disappointed and exceeded expectations. Of course, it's always easy to play Monday Morning Quarterback and this author is no exception.

Based on what I have seen so far, here is what I would do if I were coach for a day in a number of NFL cities.

Buffalo Bills

They are in the running for the division title due to the fact that the AFC East is not the Patriot runaway it has been before. That said, there are things that I would do in Buffalo.

Never give a starting job to anyone without a training camp competition.

J.P. Losman was given the starting QB job before training camp. Drew Bledsoe was released and ended up in Dallas. Kelly Holcomb was then signed as a backup. Holcomb was clearly not a threat to Losman as he was the backup to Tim Couch in Cleveland and wasn't able to keep him on the bench in spite of Couch's troubles and a memorable playoff game that Holcomb played against the Steelers.

Losman played well against the Houston Texans (but who hasn't?), but since then struggled mightily. Head coach Mike Mularkey was then left with the choice of having discontented veterans watch a young QB waste their defensive effort or send Losman to the bench and risk damaging his confidence.

Mularkey made the right move, but pretended that withholding the name of the starting QB until game day would keep the opponent in the dark and this was a strategic move.

Right move, wrong way to do it.

Be straight with the media or risk losing credibility.

At the news conference where Mularkey would not reveal the starting QB even though WR Eric Moulds had already told the media that Holcomb was in, several chortles of laughter are heard as Mularkey attempts to double-talk and coach-speak his way out of explaining why he won't reveal who will be under center.

Run the football.

The Bills picked injured back Willis McGahee in the first round two years ago. McGahee then ended up moving Travis Henry out of the starting lineup with his play. So, you would think the Bills would become a "power running team" like Pittsburgh, right?

Didn't happen. Reverses, option passes, and QB draws were the order of the day. After Losman was benched, McGahee was then a larger part of the Bills' offense as Holcomb looked good in his first start of the season.

Even in the pass-oriented NFL, running the football is crucial to a team's success. Ask the Philadelphia Eagles.

Minnesota Vikings

Where do you begin? If you want to keep a head coach job in Minnesota, you need to be comfortable with being the lowest-paid head coach in the NFL. Mike Tice seems to have no problem with that as he obviously has some things on the side to supplement his income. This can lead to trouble though and leads to another basic rule of coaching.

Don't scalp tickets to the Super Bowl or you risk looking like a fool.

Tice suffered a real humiliation after being the subject of a league investigation and being fined by the NFL for scalping Super Bowl tickets.

The NFL is tough competition. Games can be decided by only a few key plays. Players respond differently under pressure. Some thrive, others wilt. This brings us to the next rule for coaches.

Find players with character who can perform under the gun.

Players who have their own "Whizzinator" do not have character and won't get you to the Super Bowl (or avoid suspensions).

Riverboat parties with women who get paid by the hour also are not populated with players of character.

Could the Vikings' late-season collapse be the symptom of a lack of character? It seems that the team just can't be taken to the next level with a bargain-basement coach.

Houston Texans

Dom Capers isn't a stranger to expansion teams as he was also the first coach of the Carolina Panthers. Capers knows as does everyone else that expansion team coaching jobs are short-lived.

Capers' time in Houston must be coming to a close. The Texans have failed to execute one of the cardinal rules for coaches.

Get a decent offensive line.

No one knows how good QB David Carr can be since he spends more time running for his life or getting off the ground. The Texans are horrific up front and have been for the last few seasons.

Without the big men up front, the running game struggles and the passing game goes into the tank. Once that happens, the coach is the next one into the tank.

Some other rule violations:

Admit when you are wrong about a QB that you say can win in this league and cut that guy.

Brian Billick has become a victim to his inability to admit that he has made errors at the QB position. After winning a Super Bowl, one of the first guys let go was QB Trent Dilfer. Billick would do well to remember that the QB is important.

Sooner or later, your two-minute offense must come together and put that drive together that can win you the game. That requires a QB who can put all the pieces together.

Billick keeps insisting that Kyle Boller was that guy. With Boller now injured, we won't know if this was Boller's breakout year, but Billick has had lots of time to solve this.

Dallas Cowboys

Run the ball to burn other team's timeouts.

Although the Cowboys won their game against the Giants two weeks ago, the play-calling was curious, but not uncommon today.

Remember the days when late in the game, the team in the lead would run the ball three times and force the other team to burn their timeouts?

Dallas ran twice and then threw on third down. The pass was incomplete and the Giants held a timeout. The Giants scored quickly and didn't need that time-out as it turned out, but the call doesn't make sense and watch carefully, Bill Parcells isn't the only guy who will do this.

Run the ball straight ahead when backed up against your goal-line.

Speaking of Dallas running in their game...

The Cowboys were backed up on their own two-yard line or so. The first run was almost stopped in the backfield as the Cowboys chose a play that required one of the tackles to pull.

The defensive players in the NFL are so quick now, that when an offensive lineman pulls, a defensive tackle often is able to fire that gap and make a play in the backfield.

Why pull that guard or tackle? How about going straight at the man opposite you and getting some breathing room.

The same situation also happens often with teams and their goal-to-go offense. The running play will call for the guard or tackle to pull, the defensive man fires the gap and makes a play in the backfield. Leading to another rule: the shortest distance between two points is a straight line.

Also, several teams will bring in a couple of tight ends and run a play with eight men at the line of scrimmage, one QB, one RB, and one FB. This allows the defense to bring 11 men into the box to stop the run.

Why not keep a WR or two in the game, force the defense to cover, and reduce the number of men in the box? Fewer men in the box means the chance of opening a crease and getting your yard or two is greater. This is the classic rule: spread the field.

Finally, coaches need to use greater discretion when using their replay challenges. With only two in an entire game, why waste one on a first and goal at one or first and goal at the two?

More importantly, adhere to this rule: don't ask the player if they made the play.

Players will always say they made the play and that the referee ripped them off. Players have huge egos and want everyone to believe that they made the play because they are too good to miss it.

Even in the full view of 70,000 people on a scoreboard the size of a tractor-trailer, players will plead for coaches to burn a challenge on a play they clearly didn't make.

Finally, every coach must also adhere to a final rule or risk second-guessing their every move: don't believe anything you read.

Posted by Jeff Moore at 11:11 AM | Comments (0)

I Hate Mondays: Call Me a Racist

I'm racist — it's true.

I admit it. I back David Stern's dress code.

I understand it, I comprehend it, and I endorse it.

It makes sense to me since I can appreciate how he thinks — being racist and all — and I have the insight to explain how he came to this decision.

Here's what happened.

***

Stern endured a disturbed sleep Monday night, waking up twice. Something was lingering in the back of his mind, something hindered his rest. It was still pitch dark when he was roused from his slumber the first time. He sat up in his bed with his back slouched, rubbed his eyes, and reflected.

"Young, powerful black people..." he muttered as he gritted his molars.

It was an obvious agitation with no easy solution.

Stern was never fond of colored basketball players. Their arrogant attitude, their care for the cacophony that passes as music and their grubby garb bothered him. They bothered him like a strained back ails an athlete. He tries to ignore it, attempting to negotiate with the pain, but there is no settlement to be found. Every motion, every twitch, every turn sparks the acute ache that is always slow to dissipate.

The basketball league was dominated by black players with a majority of nearly 80% — an alarming figure — but they did offer a good return on investment.

Even so, he felt helpless surrounded by the ubiquitous darkness. He turned on his night lamp to whiten the room.

As his pupils adapted to the light he deliberated, "How can I pique my affluent slaves?"

The thought process was not extensive. This type of question had rolled around in his mind frequently, but the key was to pick the best imposition.

He tried, but his eyes grew tired once again and he succumbed to the inevitability that he needed the blackness — this time to sleep. He flipped off his lamp, relaxed his body, and closed his eyes.

The second time he awoke, the shadow was now concealed and the subtle daylight illuminated his room. He wrinkled his blanket and slid out of bed.

As he headed to the bathroom to begin his morning protocol, he noticed the clothes he had laid out for himself the night before. On his lazy chair was a navy-colored wool suit and beside it rested a gleaming white cotton dress shirt and a silk royal blue tie. Then it dawned on him.

"A dress code" he whispered as a grin creased his face, "yes, a dress code."

***

Now you know how this came to be.

You see, dress codes have nothing to do with company representation or company image. It has everything to do with taking away from black people.

David Stern does not care that he is at the head of a billion-dollar company and that his company's image is deteriorating faster than a Stephen Jackson sentence. David Stern does not care that the players in the NBA, who for all intents and purposes represent the company, dress like they just finished competing for girls with Steve and Doug Butabi at the Roxbury.

He just sees black people having fun, enjoying themselves, and having a good time and as a white man with power, he is exercising that power to take away their pleasures.

Or at least that is what a few radicals such as ESPN's Chris Broussard and Scoop Jackson seem to think.

They called it culture robbing and Jackson even went as far as tabbing NBA players as "highly-paid slaves" earlier this week.

Because a dress code is being implemented?

First off, if you believe that unnecessarily wearing extra large clothing and oversized diamond necklaces is "culture," you might want to check yourself.

No, this has nothing to do with my skin color. Plenty of black people (particularly parents) scoff at this type of style just as much as I do.

If your son comes through the front door wearing a do-rag, a headband, or sunglasses indoors, regardless of his skin color, heritage, or religion, the perception will not be doctor or lawyer.

If big shiny chains and throwbacks are "culture," why don't you ever see middle-aged or elder members of society taking part?

When's the last time you saw a guy over 40 years of age draped in ice during your day-to-day routines? You know, you see a well-groomed man at the grocery store with his wife in hand and his two kids trailing and what does he have on his chest? The initials of his first and last name carved out in a big phat diamond piece, weighing down his neck (the same three-pound model that Ray Charles and Gladys Knight would flaunt).

And even so, no matter how you define your own culture, a dress code does not prevent you from following it.

David Stern is not saying forget your culture, forget your roots and follow my ways. He's not asking you to convert your religion. He is saying when you come to work or when you are affiliated with the NBA follow the dress code. When you're done for the day, drape yourself in as much velvet as you like.

Jeez, what a racist.

Maybe Scoop Jackson doesn't realize that this is standard for virtually any company in North America. When you're doing business, look like a professional.

Looking professional, in a sense, just means showing up dressed like you care about your job. Everyone has a different style when you are out and about or around the house. Some people might wear sweat pants and mustard-stained YMCA shirts, others might dress like street thugs and some people prefer to be nude, but when you come to work there has to be a common ground, there has to be a compromise between everyone.

Calling NBA players "highly-paid slaves" (Scoop's term) is not only in the top five stupidest comments I have ever heard in my entire life, the term itself is an oxymoron. Slavery has existed for generations and being a slave typically includes being owned by someone else, having no rights, and having zero freedoms.

Not only do NBA players have equal rights and freedoms as the rest of society, they have more. How often do you hear of an athlete getting away from the law because for the simple fact that he is an athlete?

Always.

DUIs, marijuana possession, and even murder — you name it.

What is humorous to me is that there is such an uproar about a dress code in the NBA while in the NFL, just this week, Minnesota Vikings owner Zygi Wilf (white) also set up strict set of rules including a dress code for his predominantly black team, yet there is no outcry there.

Scoopy-Doo, where are you?

If Ricky Davis and Koren Robinson — two players whose discipline and appearance represent the very antithesis of what these dress codes are trying to achieve — think positively of their new fashion policies, then it's pretty safe to see there is no case for racism here.

Scoop and Chris just like to stir the pot — quite obviously not the melting pot.

I really feel bad for the NBA players. Seriously, I do. I'm sure the sharply-outfitted player's union head Billy Hunter does, as well.

Or maybe he's racist, too.

Racism and the NBA mix like Mondays and me.

"If you are not living on the edge, you are taking up too much room." — Jayne Howard

Posted by Dave Golokhov at 10:55 AM | Comments (1)

Baseball Folklore, Meet Bradley Lidge

Will Byung-Hyun Kim please step to the rear of the ship. A new candidate is vying for your spot at the helm of the S.S. Postseason Choke.

Ladies and gentlemen, meet Captain Bradley Lidge, star closer of the Houston Astros.

Granted, his credentials were, until recently, not at all impressive for the job he seeks. After all, he was a cog in the Astros' amazing 2005 season, appearing in 70 games as Houston turned a 15-30 start into the National League wildcard berth. His 42 saves were third best in the National League. In fact, he only blew four save opportunities all year.

As further damning evidence, consider Lidge's 2.29 ERA and a .223 batting average against, not to mention 103 strikeouts, the highest total among relievers in the majors. Incredibly, he struck out 1.5 batters per inning over the course of the regular season.

If this weren't enough to eliminate him as Kim's successor in baseball folklore, his 2005 postseason sure set out to do the trick.

Lidge allowed only two hits over four scoreless innings in three appearances against Atlanta in the NLDS. In a rematch with St. Louis for the National League pennant, he went on to save the Astros' first three wins, limiting Cardinal hitters to one earned run over four innings.

Then, his big break came.

With 43,470 fans rocking Minute Maid Park to its foundation as a backdrop, Houston manager Phil Garner called on Lidge to close out the Astros' first-ever pennant in Game 5. After setting down the first two batters, Lidge allowed David Eckstein a seeing-eye hit into left field. No problem.

Then came a four-pitch walk to Jim Edmunds. Somewhat more problematic to be sure, what with Albert Pujols stepping to the plate as the potential go-ahead run.

After enticing Pujols with a slider out of the strike zone, the blueprint was established: don't throw anything over the plate. The slider's bite and Pujols' flailing would do all the work. Nevertheless, he offered an 0-1 hanger. The ball that Pujols crushed arrived in St. Louis well before the dejected Bradley Lidge in preparation for Game 6.

Byung-Hyun Kim, you've got a foot out the door.

Of course, Roy Oswalt and true grit ultimately advanced the Astros into their first World Series, where they promptly lost the opener to the Chicago White Sox on Saturday night.

Under the 2-3-2 series format, Sunday's Game 2 took on a must-win quality for the Astros.

The game itself witnessed three lead changes, as Chicago erased a 1-0 deficit with two runs in the bottom of the second. Houston responded with one in the third and two in the fifth to regain a 4-2 edge.

In the White Sox half of the seventh, first baseman Paul Konerko's grand slam — his fifth homer of the 2005 postseason — again put Chicago ahead, 6-4, a lead that came one out away from being finalized.

In the top of the ninth with runners on second and third, Astros pinch-hitter Jose Vizcaino slapped a two-out single to left field, scoring Jeff Bagwell from third and Chris Burke from second, the latter slapping home plate with the tying run just before Sox catcher A.J. Pierzynski could apply what would have been the final out of the game.

Enter Captain Lidge.

After setting down Juan Uribe with the first out in the White Sox ninth, Lidge served up a 2-1 offering to Scott Podsednik that the leftfielder expeditiously sent over the right-center field wall.

Wait! Did I say Scott Podsednik, that pesky small-ball leadoff hitter? The same Scott Podsednik that went homerless in 507 regular season at bats?

Podsednik's second home run of the postseason ignited simultaneous riots in the right-center bleachers and at home plate as fans and teammates, respectively, grabbed for a piece of Chicago's latest hero beneath the second fireworks display in two nights at U.S. Cellular field.

So, what thinks America of Captain Lidge's credentials now?

With still two more opportunities to further bolster his resume, the good captain may have already cemented his fame. And perhaps no one is happier than a worn and tattered pitcher that currently occupies a Colorado Rockies roster spot and who saw his career flame out on back-to-back evenings under a Bronx sky four autumns ago.

Who knows what the future conceals behind its back?

In a week's time, the Chicago White Sox may be celebrating their first World Series in 88 years.

In a year's time, Bradley Lidge, new skipper of the S.S. Postseason Choke, guardian of baseball's Gates of Hell, may be following his predecessor's tracks. Perhaps he'll someday find himself flipping off fans as his name is announced amid boos from the hometown Fenway Park faithful.

Posted by Bob Ekstrom at 10:38 AM | Comments (0)

October 22, 2005

Crazy 'Bout a Sharp-Dressed Man

Racism is fun.

Well, not being a racist. Oh, I'm sure that was a blast back in the day, when everyone was like-minded and Caucasians weren't teetering on the brink of minority status in America. But today, all being a racist gets you is uncomfortable silence at office happy hours, and elected in the South.

No, I'm talking about the suspicion of racism, and all the moral posturing and self-righteous finger-pointing that goes along with it. It's a great conversation-starter: just identify the racial hypocrisy in anything from public policy to law enforcement to the casting of network sitcoms, and you've got an instant debate going. It's like bringing up the designated hitter rule at a sports bar, only no one ever burned down half a city over Chili Davis.

That suspicion is also quite profitable, unless you're one of those people who think Al Sharpton's buying off the rack at Marshall's.

But racism has become one of the most misdiagnosed symptoms in our society. If you look hard enough, and you want to see it, you can find it anywhere. Like in those Associated Press photo captions during the aftermath of Hurricane Katrina. You know: the one that had to the two white people "finding" food, and the nearly identical one that had the two black people "looting" their supplies?

Katrina was like a racial conspiracy beacon, attracting an endless barrage of accusations about injustice and insensitivity. The TV networks didn't care about the victims because they were black. FEMA didn't care about the victims because they were black. And George Bush doesn't care about the victims, because he doesn't care about black people, right Kanye [West]?

Wrong, Kanye: George Bush doesn't care about poor people.

Racism is too often confused with classism, especially in dealing with issues that affect urban and inner-city areas. But then racism is confused with a lot of things.

Like, for example, in the scrutiny over the NBA's new "dress code" policy, where racism has been confounded with ageism.

The policy calls for players to wear "business casual" attire when they participate in team or league activities. That means no more t-shirts, hats, baggy shorts, and giant bling-bling jewelry for players who basically sleep in that stuff.

Both Stephen Jackson of the Pacers and Jason Richardson of the Warriors came out against the policy, claiming it unfairly targeted young black players.

"They want to sway away from the hip-hop generation," protested Richardson.

Generation's the key word here; hip-hop's just an adjective. David Stern and the Association have seen their product steadily decline in ratings, market share, and prestige since the end of Michael Jordan's glory years. They handed the keys to the most popular kingdom outside of the NFL to the generation of players that followed — and it never figured out how to operate the locks.

So after years of watching these players treat the NBA like a job rather than a passion, and watching their material interests trump those of his league, Stern decided to declare war on Generation Next. He raised the draft age to keep the high school kids out, and put controls into the new CBA to curb salary escalation for young free agents. He increased the penalties and testing for recreational drugs. He reached out to the international basketball community, bringing in wave after wave of foreign players that often outwork their American counterparts. (Perhaps at the next players' association meeting, some unemployed auto plant workers could speak about the dangers of that.)

Now, he's instituted a dress code, much like they do in public schools that feel uniformity will strip away distractions. Next on the hit list for Stern: shipping players like Jackson and Richardson to NBA franchises on other continents.

But before the league can go global, it has to get its own house in order. And the dress code policy should help do just that...

...in theory. The one miscalculation Stern and the NBA made in this dress code is thinking that hip-hop culture and the individual expression of young players doesn't go beyond wearing a headband and a throwback jersey to a press conference.

Have these people ever watched the draft?

If I'm an NBA player, I'm pimping myself out with the most outlandish threads I can find. I'm using materials NASA just invented for shuttle re-entry. I'm rocking a color scheme that makes Wonka's edible candy room look like the palette of a Chaplin film by comparison.

Turn it around on them. Fight the power. Start cutting endorsement deals with big-label fashion designers, and put out your own line of signature business casual wear.

Suddenly, NBA press conferences are starting to sound like the red carpet at the Oscars:

"Great game, congratulations ... who are you wearing tonight?"

"This is a LeBron 360 double-breasted, with a Walton tie. The purple bowler hat's mine, though."

Make some coin off this dress code. Because, dear players, the NBA is trying to take money out of your pockets.

The dress code effectively removes any and all unauthorized logos, slogans, and labels from the public eye before, during and after NBA games. No "baseball caps" in post-game press conferences? No t-shirts? To me, that has more to do with eliminating free advertising for sporting apparel companies that don't have contracts with the NBA than it does with fixing any alleged problems with the Association's image.

I guess just like raising the minimum draft age will help bolster the NBA's free labor minor league called the NCAA, this is just another happy accident.

Maybe I'm reading too much into this. Maybe the NBA is simply trying to shape up a wayward generation of players by forcing them to look the part of a professional. Maybe there are too many players who, in the words of Lakers coach Phil Jackson, have been wearing "prison garb" for the last several seasons.

And maybe if I read into it further, and know what I'm looking for, I can discover the racial undercurrents that have enraged so many critics of the policy.

Yet I think, in this case, they're coincidental. We're talking about a policy enacted to influence a culture and the generation that's adopted it — not a skin color.

Stern isn't on a crusade against black players — he's on a crusade against young players. He's the stogy codger in the 1960s telling the hippies to cut their hair. He's the angry dad banging on the ceiling to get his kid to turn that garbage down on his stereo.

He's a man who's convinced he knows what his business should look like, but only recently realized what it had become.

It may be too late for this rebound.

Greg Wyshynski is the Features Editor for SportsFan Magazine in Washington, DC, and the Senior Sports Editor for The Connection Newspapers of Northern Virginia. His book "Glow Pucks and 10-Cent Beer: The 101 Worst Ideas in Sports History" will be published in Spring 2006. His columns appear every Saturday on Sports Central. You can e-mail Greg at [email protected].

Posted by Greg Wyshynski at 8:27 PM | Comments (0)

World Series: Who Has the Edge?

Two teams with two very different pedigrees will meet Saturday night in an attempt to decide for at least temporarily, ownership of baseball's supremacy. The Chicago White Sox, who last appeared in the World Series in 1959 and last won it all the way back in 1917, will face the Houston Astros, who will be appearing in their first World Series.

Historical differences aside, the two squads will seem familiar to one another based on their similar styles of play. Both rely on starting pitching, and both make up for a lack of explosive offenses with an effective style of small ball, or as Ozzie Guillen likes to put it, smart ball. So with two teams that practically mirror each other, who holds the edge?

Lineup

Astros

True, the Astros don't seem to have much in the way of offensive firepower. Aside from Lance Berkman and Craig Biggio, has anyone even heard of these guys? And Biggio is nothing to get excited about. Morgan Ensberg had a banner year and a big series against Atlanta before cooling down against the Cardinals. Other than that, Houston has to pray in order to continue to get production out of Chris Burke, Brad Ausmus, Mike Lamb, and the host of others that contributed to knocking the Braves and the Cardinals out of the playoffs.

And if you think Jeff Bagwell is going to provide some offensive punch out of the role of DH, think again. He has 3 home runs in 100 at-bats this season, and none since he came back from his extended injury stay.

White Sox

It a necessity to score runs if you are going to have success in the American League. On paper, the Sox don't necessarily scare you. Paul Konerko though proved he should have been every bit the regular season MVP candidate that Alex Rodriguez and David Ortiz were hailed as. Scott Podsednik has rediscovered his running touch after cooling down late in the season. Tadahito Iguchi, despite a propensity for strike outs, is a classic two-hole hitter. Carl Everett, Aaron Rowand, A.J. Pierzynski, Joe Crede, and Juan Uribe all contribute on a regular basis.

EDGE: White Sox

The bottom line is neither of these clubs can stack a lineup like the Red Sox and Yankees, but their timely hitting more than makes up for the lack of high-priced studs. And more than any other sport, baseball's limelight can be stolen by the unlikeliest of participants.

Defense

Astros

When Willy Taveras is in centerfield, the Astros can pick it with just about every team in the league. But if they substitute his defense for the offense of Chris Burke, then the outfield's stability dissipates rather quickly. The right side of the infield can get a little dicey, but nothing that should sway a series.

White Sox

Aaron Rowand is in the same class as Andruw Jones, Jim Edmonds, and Carlos Beltran. The corner outfielders are respectable, and the infield is solid and steady. There are no glaring weaknesses.

EDGE: White Sox

I would be shocked if defensive lapses decided this series. Chicago possesses the better defense, but with the exception of Chris Burke, this series should come down to other factors.

Starting Pitching

Astros

Enough is enough about how Roy Oswalt is the best third starter in the game. Oswalt is the Astros' best pitcher. Roger Clemens is a great story, and Andy Pettitte is tough as nails, but neither possesses Oswalt's 95+ mph and wicked curve. In the playoffs, power pitching can dominate.

This will be a tough matchup for Pettitte. True, he has always been a postseason winner, but a large part of that can be attributed to the Yankees' bats. With the exception of Game 5 of the World Series 10 years ago, the tall lefty has always had room for a small margin of error. The combination of Astros bats and White Sox pitching could put Pettitte outside his comfort zone.

Roger Clemens is a tremendous story, but I would be surprised if he duplicated his regular season heroics against an American League team. Brandon Backe is inconsistent, at best.

White Sox

Other than Jose Contreras, none of these guys are power pitchers, something I alluded to before as being a difference-maker in the playoffs. That being said, if Mark Buehrle, Jon Garland, and Freddy Garcia could shut down the Red Sox and the Angels, I think they should handle the Astros.

EDGE: White Sox

I realize the Astros are where they are because of their starting pitching, but aside from Roy Oswalt, I find them to be extremely vulnerable. The only danger for the Sox is if they fail to get those clutch hits and start pressing. If that happens, they just might start looking ahead to when Oswalt starts, and the pressure to produce could become so large that they make Clemens and Pettitte look like the stars they have been all season.

Bullpen

Astros

Brad Lidge is a top-three closer (Mariano Rivera and Eric Gagne are only better), despite his blowing Game 5. And Game 4 against the Braves is the only other proof needed to show how effective the rest of their bullpen is.

White Sox

They might be good, who knows? They only pitched 2/3 of an inning in the entire ALCS. Actually, they pitched brilliantly in the Red Sox series, but the combination of Bobby Jenks, Dustin Hermanson, and Damaso Marte does not equal Brad Lidge.

EDGE: Astros

Intangibles

Both clubs have received extremely favorable umpiring in their road to the World Series. Both managers are unique, yet effective. Both benches are solidly unspectacular. The biggest out of the box advantage in this whole series might be Minute Maid Park. That short left field causes havoc for opposing pitchers, and no one has proven to be more effective at hitting 300-foot clutch home runs than Lance Berkman.

EDGE: Astros

Prediction

This whole series comes down to whether the Astros pitchers can keep the White Sox from scoring. The Astros aren't going to explode in any game — at most, they expect five runs. The question is can the Houston starters consistently keep Chicago in check? I say no, White Sox in six, before Oswalt can win it in seven.

Posted by Piet Van Leer at 8:06 PM | Comments (0)

October 21, 2005

World Series Fan-Demoniam

Now that the Major League Baseball season has been reduced to no less than four and no more than seven games, a hearty "congratulations" should go out to the last two teams standing, the Chicago White Sox and the Houston Astros.

As improbable as both of their runs have been, it bears noting that the two teams clearly showcase the most dominating starting rotations in their respective leagues, so maybe their survival through MLB's version of "Last Man Standing" isn't as big a surprise as many claim it to be. No matter, with underwhelming lineups and very solid divisional competition, both certainly have earned their mettle en route to their current perches as league pennant holders.

While the niceties are going to keep coming, sure as the rain, it seems that the national media is taking things a bit too far — did you expect any less?

I'll submit to the reality that the Houston Astros are as good a sports story as we've had in many years — seemingly out of contention in May and too stubborn and steadfast to make wholesale changes, a team mixed with sturdy veterans and unproven youngsters keeps their collective nose to the grindstone and shoots up the standings with reckless abandoned.

I'll give the benefit of the doubt in claiming that Ozzie Guillen's no-nonsense approach is not only good for the White Sox, but is great for baseball. Hell, I'll even give in to the notion that destiny played a role in this, with the symmetry between Jeff Bagwell and Frank Thomas being almost poetic (seriously ... born on the same day, drafted in the same year, MVPs the same season and each, in the twilight of his career, now watches as their teams bring to fruition a pipe dream both have shared for so many years).

I draw the line, however, at consenting to the idea that these two franchises, tormented by failure and near-misses on their way to extended championship dry spells, have shown a nation how such seemingly woebegone franchises should handle failure.

Sure, Houston fans and White Sox fans are a silent minority ... they aren't known as "loveable losers" and they don't have to deal with goat curses, curses of the Bambino, or the Evil Empire. As both have come frustratingly close over the last 45-plus years, their fans have never publicly lamented their plight (no more than normal, anyway) nor have they openly campaigned for sympathy. This, some opine, is because they are a fan base full of pride, self-respect, and an understanding for the concept of patience.

Pish-posh. Fans of these teams are apathetic, passive, and have no true allegiance to their squads. Houston fans don't cry like Cub fans because they don't care like Cub fans. Case-in-point, check out attendance numbers. Houston brought just over 2.8 million fannies into their home seats this summer — the Cubs, over three million. Houston is a playoff team, NL champs actually, and Chicago has been also-rans since just after the All-Star Break.

The White Sox, who ironically enough play in the same city as the Cubbies, claim they get no appreciation because of those blustery crybaby Cub fans. The truth is, they get no respect because they disappear at the first hint of average play from their South-siders. Some wonder why the country paid such homage to the Red Sox a year ago relative to the attention the ChiSox are getting so far this year — both teams have comparable streaks of ineptitude. Why are Red Sox fans considered long-tormented while hardly a mention is given of the equally-frustrated White Sox fan base? Again, simple answer — Red Sox fans cry when their team loses. I've seen it — I grew up in the northeast and honest to goodness have seen grown men cry and hug over a regular season Red Sox loss. You don't see this in Cellular One Ballpark.

Now don't get me wrong, I know there are fans out there that are every bit as passionate about the 'Stros or ChiSox as I am about the Cubs and BoSox, and this article in no way is meant to demean that passion or those who hold it. You may well have an argument about the national attention the Cubs and Red Sox garner over their losing streaks (now defunct, in the case of the Boston Red Sox). But for anybody, especially someone claiming to be a journalist, to claim that the Astros and White Sox "know how to handle" empty championship dreams is absolutely ludicrous.

I'm not calling fans of these teams bad fans or anything like that, I'm simply stating that they have an apathy and a ho-hum approach to their teams in the "lean years" that you would never find in the stands of Wrigley and Fenway. This does not make them better fans, nor does it make them worse fans, it just makes them different fans. Just like you can't compare an apple to an orange without making some concessions on inherent differences, you cannot compare a Cub fan and an Astros fan without doing the same.

In closing, fans of the Houston Astros and Chicago White Sox have a great deal to be proud of and to revel in. No matter which team emerges as the victor, the spoils will include the sating of ridiculously long absences of a championship parade in their respective cities (for baseball success, at least). But let's keep things real, to steal a line from the popular culture lexicon. No one has ever heard a dying man utter the words "Go Astros!" as he passed on to the other side. Nobody's only regret was to not have seen the White Sox win a World Series.

Things like this only happen to teams cursed by goats and Bambinos.

Posted by Matt Thomas at 7:06 PM | Comments (0)

An Early AFC North Showdown

We're six weeks into the NFL season and it seems to me that there is a very fine line between winning and losing in this league. Sure, the Indianapolis Colts are undefeated and the Houston Texans are winless (and they happen to play this weekend), but in between, things are not so easy to sort out. As we head into the meat of the season, this is the time we begin to sort out which teams are flukes and which teams are for real.

I want to take a look at one game in particular that will help begin this sorting out process: Sunday's Pittsburgh Steelers versus the Cincinnati Bengals game. This is a big game. It is a divisional game that could very well set the tone for the season. It is also an important game mentally for both teams.

The Pittsburgh Steelers are 3-2 after two heartbreaking losses. A win on Sunday and they are back on track and positioned to win the division. A loss and they are at .500 and looking up at the Bengals. The challenge for the Pittsburgh Steelers this year is going to be staying healthy and not beating themselves. They have the talent that allowed them to go 15-1 last year. Ben Roethlisberger won't light up the place, but he is smart, dangerous when mobile, and backed-up by a strong running game. The defense has some holes in the secondary, but is stout against the run and aggressive enough to force mistakes and turnovers.

But the Steelers' style and talent are not enough to overcome key injuries or self-inflicted wounds. They will need to win the Steeler way, with ground control offense, strategic passing, and an aggressive defense.

Last week was a great example of how things can go wrong. Ben Roethlisberger was forced out after being injured in the Monday night game against San Diego. Despite being banged up himself, Tommy Maddox was declared the starter. All-Pro wideout Hines Ward was also out. It is a giant understatement to say things did not go well. And most of the blame falls on the hapless Maddox.

"Touchdown Tommy" had three interceptions and fumble in the overtime loss to Jacksonville. Not only did Maddox put the Steelers behind the eight ball with two picks on their first three drives, he managed to single-handedly lose the game in OT. The Steelers get the ball first in overtime and Cedric Wilson promptly ran the kick back 74 yards. The Steelers are perfectly positioned to kick the game winning field goal. But no! After a couple of running plays, Maddox bungles the snap and fumbles the ball. The defense remarkably does its job and the Steelers get the ball back. What does Maddox do? Throws another interception that the Jags run back for the game-winning touchdown. Nice work, Tommy!

How unbelievably frustrating. The defense and special teams played well enough to win this game. The defense only gave up a couple of sustained drives all game. One Jacksonville touchdown came directly off a Maddox interception that gave them the ball on the Pittsburgh seven-yard line. The defense stopped the Jags on 4th-and-2 early in the game and intercepted Byron Leftwich to prevent a possible game-winning touchdown with less than 30 seconds left. After the first turnover in OT, the defense again held and got the ball back for the offense.

Special teams contributed, as well. Antwan Randel El ran a punt back for a score and Cedric Wilson had the great return to set the offense up in OT. How many more chances was Maddox and the offense going to get to win this game? None, as it turned out because Maddox's third interception ended the game.

When playing a quality team, the Steelers simply can't afford to make these kind of mistakes. Eventually, they will come back to haunt you. Thank goodness Roethlisberger is going to start Sunday against the Bengals. If the Steelers want to prove that they are still the dominant team in the division and a threat to finally go to the Super Bowl this is a big game. Turnovers and mistakes won't cut it, either. The Bengals have enough talent to make you pay for turnovers and mistakes. Just ask the Tennessee Titans about that.

The key to this game will be the running game of the Steelers' versus the passing game of the Bengals'. The Steelers should be able to run on the Bengals' defense. Cincinnati's front four will be out-manned by the Steelers' offensive line. I think both Jerome Bettis and Willie Parker will have room to run. If the Steelers can control the clock and keep Carson Palmer and the Bengals' offense off the field, they have the upper hand.

What could be a problem is Pittsburgh's banged-up secondary. The defense can't give up the big play. The Steeler defense, I believe, can stop the Bengals from running the ball consistently. But they will need to get pressure on Palmer so the Bengals passing game can't get on track. If you give Palmer time, he will find Chad Johnson and make the big plays downfield. The Steelers can't afford to get in a shootout with the Bengals.

The Cincinnati Bengals are no longer the laughing stock of the NFL. Under head coach Marvin Lewis, they have dropped the losing attitude and built a talented team with the likes of Carson Palmer and Chad and Rudi Johnson. They got off to a hot start, handily winning their first three games and they are 5-1 and at the top of the division. This doesn't look like the old Bengals.

Questions remain, however, as the schedule has been weak so far and Cincinnati has struggled at times. In many ways, they were lucky to escape with a 16-10 win against the Texans. A controversial fumble call played a big role in helping the Bengals dodge a bullet in a game in which they had over 100 yards in penalties — including a negated touchdown. They followed that shaky win with a loss to Jacksonville that included a number of miscues (a last-minute fumble ended their comeback attempt) and a heated sideline argument between Palmer and Chad Johnson.

The Bengals are 5-1 for the first time since 1988 after beating the Tennessee Titans last week, but even that wasn't easy. The Titans ran the ball practically at will against the Bengals and surged out to a 10-0 lead. But the game turned on two big turnovers. Trailing 17-10 in the third quarter, Tory James hit Titans WR Tyrone Calico just as the ball arrived, allowing opportunistic Bengals linebacker Odell Thurman to grab the ball out of the air and run it back for a touchdown.

Leading 24-20, the defense once again came up big. Trying to engineer the comeback, Steve McNair got the ball to running back Chris Brown for what looked like a successful screen play. But Tory James once again intervened, hitting Brown and causing a fumble that he ran back to the one-yard line. Rudi Johnson took it in on the next play for a touchdown and the Bengals held on for the win.

The key for the Bengals on Sunday is to cut out the penalties (they are the most penalized team in the AFC), toughen their run defense, and continue their opportunistic ways. The Bengals are giving up nearly five yards a carry on the ground and over 117 yards per game. In contrast, the Steelers are only giving up 3.4 and 90 respectively. What has helped offset this mediocre run defense has been their ability to create turnovers. The Bengals lead the league in turnover margin.

The Bengals need to force the Steelers to make the big mistakes and take advantage when opportunities present themselves. This is exactly what they failed to do last year. Despite getting to Roethlisberger, sacking him seven times, and causing both an interception and a fumble, the Bengals allowed Jerome Bettis to run for 129 yards. The Bengals led 14-10 at the half, but played poorly in the second half and allowed the Steelers to control the clock and the tempo. Once the Steelers got the lead, they pounded Bettis and played tough defense to hold on for the 19-14 win.

Penalties and missed opportunities had coach Marvin Lewis screaming at his team in the locker room. Lewis' comments last year bear repeating:

"This is the angriest I've been," said Lewis, who always tries to accentuate the positive. "We're not going to accept mediocrity. If we accept getting close, if we accept leading in the first half, we're not going to get any better. We're not going to accept that."

This game will go a long way to determining whether this is a new Cincinnati Bengals or just a flashier version of the old one.

Posted by Kevin Holtsberry at 5:57 PM | Comments (0)

A Star is Born in the City of Angels

Sunnyside California has its share of stars — football stars. And why wouldn't it, when it has the beaches, the 74-degree weather, the girls, the celebrities, and the collegiate football superpowers to let the recruiting take care of itself? But is it possible that one state (and one city) could feature two of the best tailbacks in college? Some may call it destiny, but others don't even know about one of those players.

His name? Maurice Drew. His school? University of California at Los Angeles. His mission? To steal the show from his cross-town counterpart, Reggie Bush, of the University of Southern California.

Sorry to break it to ya, but it looks as though USC is still at the number one slot after an epic win at Notre Dame last weekend. And USC is still atop in the conference — woah, woah, woah. Wait a second. *Rubs eyes really quick.* I must be so tired that I can't see straight. USC is tied with UCLA in the Pac-10 standings? There's no way that they both can be undefeated, that they both can be 6-0. Are you serious? Wait, what's that? You're saying that this Drew is the reason for UCLA's strong start? Well, who is this guy then?

He's the guy who scored five touchdowns against the California Golden Bears this year, tying a UCLA record that he himself set last year against Washington. He's the guy who handed No. 10 Cal a 47-40 loss in a match of the unbeatens two weeks ago, their first loss in 13 regular season games. He's the guy who helped his Bruins to their first top-10 ranking since 2001 (No. 8 in AP poll this week). He's the triple-threat back who is dangerous on punt returns (three punt return TDs this year), explosive out of the backfield, and capable of double duty play at wide receiver. And he doesn't turn the ball over.

He's the undecided major who happens to love mathematics. He's the guy who models himself after the great Barry Sanders. He's the California native who enjoys both swimming and snowboarding. He's the elusive No. 21 that's bidding for your attention, America. He's Maurice Drew, not to be confused with the other Drew on the team, senior quarterback Drew Olson, who also happens to be having his best season yet.

Yet while Drew shares his name with his quarterback, he also bears a strange resemblance to USC's Bush in looks, physical makeup, age, and importance to his team. In fact, they were both born in California in March of 1985, with Bush being born exactly three weeks ahead of Drew. Drew grew up in Antioch (near San Francisco), and Bush matured in Spring Valley (near San Diego). In high school, Drew played football for De La Salle High, known for its 138-game winning streak and 10-straight California state championships, while Bush attended Helix High. At 205, Drew has just five pounds on Bush, and Bush is just four inches taller at six feet. (Nicknamed "The President," Bush is ironically a political science major in his junior year at USC.)

While they both also excelled in track in high school, two things distinguish them now, and it's not their speed. One, Bush has two national championship rings to Drew's zero, and two, Bush finished fifth in the 2004 Heisman Trophy voting, while Drew went undetected. However, this year Drew is listed as one of 31 candidates on VoteForHeisman.com where the top finisher in that public survey gets the equivalent of one vote in the final tally. Though he likely won't finish in the top five, the acknowledgement is to his credit.

Drew and Bush grew up seven hours apart, and now they play football at schools that are only 22 minutes apart. However, a school that led all colleges in NCAA championships into the 2004 year (90) and won them all since 1950, Drew's UCLA hasn't won a football championship since 1954. After Karl Dorrell replaced Bob Toledo at head coach in 2003, the Bruins have finished 12-13 in his two seasons while Los Angeles' other college football power was winning back-to-back national championships under Bush. It's no wonder that UCLA plays that younger brother role.

But like their big bro, there's no doubt that UCLA's offense can score. Olson is ranked nationally in the top 15 in efficiency with a passer rating of 157.53, has 15 TD to go along with only three interceptions, and has racked up 1,612 yards. Olson has no problem connecting with his fellow Drew in the air either, as the tailback has two receiving touchdowns this year already. However, if UCLA wants to hang with USC until their biggest test when they face each other at Los Angeles Memorial Coliseum in the last game of the year (Dec. 3), their defense has a lot of work to do. Against Cal, the defense gave up 40 points and 545 yards.

More specifically, averaging amongst the nation's worst is the Bruins run defense. Only three teams out of all 117 Division I schools give up more rushing yards on average. Though they were facing the Pac-10's leading rusher on Saturday, it is still hard to overlook the fact that Washington State's Jerome Harrison collected a career-high 260 yards (182 in the first half alone). Perhaps that was a result of a defensive line that's hurting, with redshirt freshman Kenneth Lombard and true freshman Chase Moline starting after injuries to Kevin Brown and Nikola Dragovic.

Fortunately, Olson made up for the gap with five touchdowns and 352 yards, outperforming WSU's quarterback Alex Brink who had six interceptions in the two games before facing UCLA. The heavily-favored Bruins came from 21 points down to win 44-41 in overtime, marking the third straight game in which they came from behind to win.

It's not like the effort isn't there on defense. Senior linebacker Spencer Havner, who led the conference in tackles last year and was second in the nation (125), volunteered his duties for the punt coverage team two years ago after Oklahoma's Antonio Perkins returned three punts for touchdowns against them. The defense as a unit just doesn't seem to come together until late in the game.

But the Bruins have Drew to thank for those come from behind wins. With 115 total yards, the playmaking Drew rushed from the one-yard line to score the winning touchdown in overtime after WSU made a 37-yard field goal. The Cougars had previously won the past four meetings, and last year Drew rushed only once for -6 yards against them before leaving with a sprained ankle. WSU coach Bill Doba had joked that this year's game plan was to sprain Drew's ankle on the first play, but of course, that didn't happen.

Cal's head coach Jeff Tedford is equally impressed with Drew's abilities.

"He hits the hole as fast as anybody around," Tedford said, "and you can't arm-tackle him. You have to put a body on him to bring him down."

Though Drew's success is continually on the rise, UCLA is doing all it can to prevent egos and cliques with any of its players. For example, Dorrell decided not to name team captains for the season. Instead, UCLA names the captains on a game-by-game basis.

Also, Dorrell restructured the locker room to numerical order to encourage unity with all ages, as some seniors are next to redshirt freshmen. It is this bond, created in the offseason when coaches and players participated in leadership, sacrifice, and character meetings, that is the main difference from last year's 6-5 team.

One would think that the distractions in Los Angeles, with places like Bel Air, Beverly Hills, Westwood, and Brentwood, would be immense for college football players who are in their early 20s. Though they are just miles away from the Pacific Ocean, they have proven that they take the heat. This could be the year that UCLA proves they can take USC's heat, as well. This could be the year that the Bruins shed their second-class citizen label. They want this Pac-10 now, and they're slowly creeping up on USC, virtually their only hurdle.

The Bruins are now one of seven remaining undefeated teams, and they're certainly in good company with those other six being USC, Texas, Virginia Tech, Georgia, Alabama, and Texas Tech.

But after his days at De La Salle High, all Drew knows is winning. Get him the ball, and he'll find a way to win. He'll find a way to get to Pasadena. He'll find a way to show the world who the real star of Los Angeles is.

(Ante) Up ... Camera. Lights. Action.

All eyes are on Drew.

Posted by Sara Normand at 5:41 PM | Comments (2)

NASCAR Top 10 Power Rankings: Week 31

Note: the quotes in this article are fictional.

1. Jimmie Johnson — Johnson perservered in an incredibly grueling night in Charlotte to win his fourth race of the season and second of the Chase. Johnson qualified third, but started last in the field after an engine change, then overcame an alternator problem and a cut tire for the win, which moved him into a dead heat with Tony Stewart atop the points.

"Wasn't that a fun race to watch?" jokes Johnson. "Green flag, blown tire, yellow flag. Green flag, blown tire, yellow flag. Exciting, wasn't it?"

Up next is Martinsville, where Johnson has six-straight top-10s, including the win last year during the Chase. Look for Johnson to be in the points lead by himself after the smoke clears.

2. Tony Stewart — Like many fellow drivers, Stewart cut a tire and spun while leading in last Saturday's race. But unlike those fellow drivers, the ramifications of Stewart's spin were quite severe for the No. 20 Home Depot car. Instead of leading the points with his nearest pursuer 75 points back, Stewart is now tied for the lead, with two other drivers less than 20 points back.

"That track was about as abrasive as my temperament after crashing," says Stewart. "If they expect us to do 180 miles per hour, then the least they can expect from us is a decent track on which to drive."

Stewart has six top-10 finishes in his career at Martinsville. With Johnson one of the favorites, Stewart will need a finish better than what he's posted his last two times at the Virginia half-miler, when he finished 15th and 26th.

3. Greg Biffle — Biffle finished third at Charlotte, following Jimmie Johnson and teammate Kurt Busch across the finish line. Biffle remained firm at number three in the points, but sliced 77 points off his deficit to the leader. He trails Tony Stewart and Johnson by only 11 points.

"I'm totally happy with my position," says Biffle. "But, how dare NASCAR delay the start of our race until the end of the USC/Notre Dame football game. I had to sit in my car for 15 extra minutes. Luckily, I had the game feed coming in through the team radio. What a game!"

In his last two outings at Martinsville, Biffle has a 29th and a 35th. With only five races left in the Chase, Biffle's championship hopes may be riding on a much better finish.

4. Ryan Newman — Despite a seventh-place finish, Newman dropped two places to fourth in the points, only 17 points out of the lead. But there's a silver lining: Newman was 75 points behind the leader when he was in second-place in the points prior to Charlotte.

"I guess that's a good thing, right?" asks Newman. "It kind of reminds of my Busch series record. I've won five-straight races, but I'm only 39th in points. I can't win for losing."

Newman has top-five finishes in his last three races in Martinsville, so look for him to battle for the win.

5. Mark Martin — Martin advanced two more spots in the points with a fifth-place finish in Charlotte, and now holds fifth, 51 points out of the lead. In the last two races, Martin has improved from nine to five in the points. He avoided major tire-wear problems to gain his third top five, and fourth top-10 of the Chase.

"There were quite a few anxious moments during the Charlotte race," says Martin. "In fact, every moment was an anxious moment. Every turn I made, I realized the possibility that I could blow a tire and hit the wall. We've got safety devices all around us. One would think the tires we use would fall into that category."

This spring, Martin collected his best finish in Martinsville since winning in the spring of 2000. He's always dangerous at short tracks, and needs to finish in front of Stewart and Johnson to cut into their lead.

6. Carl Edwards — Edwards finished 10th in Charlotte, the last of four Roush drivers in the top 10. Edwards holds fast at number six in the points, 54 off the pace. That's 41 points closer than he was last week at this time. It was Edwards' fourth-straight top-10 finish.

"The Chase is all about top-10 finishes," says Edwards, "and wishing misfortune on those in front of you. Last week, we put the hex on Tony Stewart. This week, we need Jimmie Johnson to lay an egg."

In two Cup races at Martinsville, Edwards has a 24th and a 38th. If he can get through this race and remain less than 100 points down, he'll be thrilled.

7. Rusty Wallace — Wallace had his share of problems at Charlotte, and a disappointing day ended with a 24th-place finish, dropping Wallace three places to seventh in the points, 92 out of the lead. In addition to tire issues, the No. 2 Miller Lite car was penalized for pit lane speeding, suffered a spin, and made an extra pit stop to tighten lug nuts.

"Kurt Busch is not even in the car yet," says Wallace. "And already his bad luck is rubbing off on it."

Wallace hopes to make up lost ground at Martinsville, where he has seven wins in his career, most recently in last year's spring race.

8. Matt Kenseth — Like many others, Kenseth was victimized by a flat tire on his way to a 26th-place finish. In his case, he was saddled with a case of double jeopardy when he felt a tire going flat just before a caution came out. he had a choice: pit before the pits open and take a penalty, or wait until the pits open and risk the tire blowing and damaging the car.

"I guess you know what happened next," says Kenseth. "Screwed if I do, screwed if I don't. Now I know how Kurt Busch feels."

Kenseth waited, and the tire blew.

In his career at Martinsville, Kenseth has only one top five finish, in 2002. By the end of the day, he hopes to be no more than 100 points out of the lead.

9. Kurt Busch — It may have taken him five races, but Busch finally put his bad luck behind him, avoided trouble that has cost him so far, and took the runner-up position at Charlotte. Still last in the points, Busch knocked 82 points of his deficit to the leaders.

"I figured I would give these other nine suckers a head start," says Busch. "Just a quick reminder to everyone. Last year, I didn't make my Cup-winning run until the final two races. This year, I'm starting early."

Busch is usually solid at Martinsville, and he led 33 laps in the spring on his way to a 19th-place finish. He will likely need top-fives in each of the remaining races to make a run for the Cup.

10. Jeremy Mayfield — You can't fault Mayfield for his consistency. In five Chase races, he has four finishes between 11th and 16th. His only top-10, a seventh, came at Dover. Still, Mayfield moved up a spot in the standings to eighth, 115 points out of first.

"So I've got no finish lower than 16th, huh?" asks Mayfield. "Check the stats. I think you'll see that I'm the only one in the Chase with no finish lower than 16th. That's got to be good for something."

Mayfield sorely needs a win to make up considerable ground in the Chase. Martinsville may be the place. Last year, in the fall race, he finished sixth.

Posted by Jeffrey Boswell at 12:43 PM | Comments (0)

October 20, 2005

NFL Weekly Predictions: Week 7

Note: the quotes in this article are fictional.

Detroit @ Cleveland

If you looked at a depth chart of who's scoring points for the Lions, you would see their offense listed as third string, behind their defense and kicker, Jason Hanson. That seems to be the case after the Lions' offense produced no touchdowns, at least for themselves, in a 21-20 loss to the Panthers. Detroit scored two touchdowns on interception returns, and Hanson added two field goals to account for their points.

"Not only could they not score points," says Lions' safety Boss Bailey, "but they couldn't even get ten yards to set us up for a game-winning field goal attempt."

"Look," says Detroit quarterback Joey Harrington, counting his season total of touchdown passes on one hand, "as an offense, we did our job on that last drive. It was obvious we weren't going to score. So we went four and out to get the defense on the field and enhance our chance of scoring. Sadly, they didn't have time."

The Browns had even more trouble generating offense, managing a paltry three points against division foe Baltimore. Quarterback Trent Dilfer was hammered by his former team, throwing for only 147 yards while being sacked four times.

"I guess those guys are still mad that I led them to the Super Bowl," says Dilfer. "You'd think I was an official the way they treated me."

Even though the Lions and Browns share identical 2-3 records, this game surprisingly pits a last-place team (the Browns, last in the AFC North) against a first-place team (the Lions, tied with the Bears in the NFC North). And the Browns are slightly favored. In other words, the NFC North gets no respect, nor should they. But the Lions should be able to run the ball, which will take the ball out of Harrington's hands, so to speak. And the Lions' defense is pretty good when their offense can stay on the field more than three downs.

Harrington throws a TD to tight end Marcus Pollard, and the Lions' defense forces three turnovers.

Detroit picks up a rare road win for the NFC North with a 17-7 win.

Green Bay @ Minnesota

During his bye week, budding songwriter Brett Favre penned a few alternate lyrics to the renowned Gilligan's Island theme.

"How does this sound?" asks Favre. "'Just sit right back and you'll see some tail, some tail on the Vikings' ship. That started from a Minnetonka dock...' That's where I'm stuck. Gosh, what I wouldn't give to have the rhyming skills of the Beastie Boys, and a license to ill. "

"Come on, guys," says Mike Tice. "We're called the Vikings. The original Vikings, of Scandinavian descent, were a rugged, hard-partying bunch, who liked their women and beer. What do you think went down on their boats? Let me tell you, they weren't playing shuffleboard or doing the waltz in the Colonnade Room. So, everyone lay off my players for just wanting to blow off some steam. That kind of thing goes on every boat chartered by an NFL player, when alcohol and gratuitous nudity are factored in to the equation. Except for maybe the Manning's. Now, can we talk about what's important: football."

Football? Is that what you call what your Vikings are doing out on the field? They look more like Strat-O-Matic figures running around at random on a vibrating, thin metal surface.

"That very well may be," says Tice. "But that's still football, isn't it?"

Green Bay picked up its first win in Week 5, dominating the Saints, 52-3. Even at 1-4, the Packers still are the pick of many to win the North.

"Is that a testament to my leadership and quarterbacking skills?" asks Brett Favre. "Or simply a testament to the sad state of the North?"

Probably a little of both. But look at it this way, Brett. You've got 11 games left. Win six of those, and you likely will win the division. Aim high, my friend.

Lost in the midst of their 1-4 start is the fact that Green Bay has the league's 10th-best defense. Last year, the Packers won two regular season shootouts with the Vikings, both by the score of 34-31. This one will also be a shootout. Unfortunately for the Vikes, they have no guns.

Green Bay cruises to a 30-21 win, leaving Minnesota at 1-5.

Indianapolis @ Houston

What happens when the league's only undefeated team plays the league's only winless team?

"Here's what happens," says Colts defensive end Dwight "Sack Diesel" Freeney. "We keep the '0' in the 'L' column, and the Texans keep the '0' in the 'W' column. And Texans' coach Dom Capers gets an 'F' in the 'E' column. That would be 'Fired' in the 'Employed' column."

"Dwight obviously has not been listening to me," says Colts coach Tony Dungy. "We absolutely cannot underestimate Houston. I know this is their first year as an expansion team, but they are clearly the finest 0-5 team in the league. We'll need to have our game faces on. They are at home, after all."

Actually, Tony, the Texans have been around for four years, although you wouldn't know it by the way they've been playing. Among many problems, the biggest is the offensive line's inability to protect quarterback David Carr. Carr has been sacked a league-leading 30 times, so it's not likely Carr will do like many quarterbacks and buy each of his offensive lineman an expensive gift as a token of his appreciation for their protection.

"Shoot," says Carr, "they should by me something, like health insurance, or a suit of armor, or the Chiefs' offensive line."

Well, there is some good news for the Texans.

"Yeah?!" says Carr, excitedly.

Just kidding. There is none. The Colts' offense finally exploded and dropped 45 on the Rams last Monday, including 31 first downs. However, the Colts defense did give up 28 points, which was more than they had surrendered in their previous five games combined. And they only recorded one sack, well off their average of four per game. So, Texans, maybe there is a little hope amid all the chaos.

"I've got some good news," chimes in Colts defensive end and NFL sack leader Robert Mathis, "and I promise this is not a Geico commercial. My fellow Colts defenders and I, out of respect for the beating David Carr has taken so far this year, have agreed that instead of tackling him for sacks, we will simply yank these flag football flags from his waistline."

This one could get ugly, quick. And it does. The Colts jump out to a 7-0, lead, then a 14-0 lead, then a 21-0 lead, then ... well, you get the picture. Manning throws three touchdowns, and Edgerrin James piles up 130 on the ground.

Indianapolis wins, 40-10.

Kansas City @ Miami

What do you know? Miami's Ricky Williams and Kansas City's Eric Warfield are back from their four-game drug suspensions, ready to contribute to their respective teams.

"But first," says Warfield, "just to show that we have no hard feelings towards the NFL and their stringent drug regulations, Ricky and I will share a puff, or two, perhaps three, four, or five, on this peace pipe."

Williams only had eight yards on five carries in the Dolphins' 27-13 loss to the Buccaneers, as the Dolphins as a team only managed 64 yards. In fact, wide receiver Chris Chambers led Miami with 25 yards on the ground.

"It was difficult establishing the run against a tough Tampa defense," says Williams. "But, in my first game back, I really didn't expect a lot of success in terms of yardage. I was just happy to be on the field and smelling the grass."

The Chiefs used the big play to overcome the resilient Redskins, as Priest Holmes scored on a 60-yard screen pass and safety Sammie Knight raced the end zone for an 80-yard fumble return. Knight also knocked away Mark Brunell's desperation heave to Santana Moss, preserving the Chiefs 28-21 victory that kept them 1½ games behind the Broncos in the AFC West.

"We haven't seen defense like this in Kansas City," says Knight, "since our kicker, Lawrence Tynes, and backup quarterback, Todd Collins, lawyered up for being drunk and stupid this offseason. Our defense has stepped up, and so have our defense lawyers, especially when defending these white boy, wannabe thugs."

Williams should see more carries, and the Dolphins offense will be tested to score enough to keep up with Priest Holmes and the Chiefs. Miami gave up 180 on the ground last week to the Bucs. The Chiefs will exploit that weakness. Holmes and Larry Johnson combine for 150 yards on the ground, and each scores a touchdown.

Kansas City wins, 27-24.

New Orleans @ St. Louis

Last week, the Saints hung tough with the Falcons until the very end, until a Todd Peterson 36-yard field goal in the final seconds won it for Atlanta, 34-31. The winning kick followed a miss from 41 yards, a play that was negated by a defensive holding call on the Saints.

"We should have been going to overtime!" yells an irate Saints' coach Jim Haslett. "Instead, I'm slamming my headset down and cursing the name and family of the ref who made that call. Defensive holding on a kick? That's bush league. It's like I said before, it's a chicken $&!# call. But let's not lay all the responsibility on chickens. It was also a bull $&!# call, and that makes me go ape $&!#. Not only are Mother Nature and the NFL out to get us, now the referees are, as well."

The loss left the Saints at 2-4, last place in the NFC South, and three full games out of first place. The Rams have the same record and are two games behind the Seahawks in the West. The Rams have no problem scoring points — they are third in the NFL in points per game.

"And we're quite generous giving up the points, as well," says wide receiver Torry Holt.

Yep. The Rams surrender 32 a game, or 13 less than the Colts burned them with last Monday. That's a league worst. And guess who the second-worst scoring defense happens to be? You guessed it. The Saints. So if you have a Ram or Colt on your fantasy team, start them. Unless it's their defenses.

Rams' starting quarterback Marc Bulger is out with a shoulder injury, so Jamie Martin will get the start. So maybe interim coach Joe Vitt will do the wise thing and give Steven Jackson the ball 25 times. Unless he looks down at his right wrist and sees a yellow bracelet imprinted with the letters "WWMD?" That stands for "What Would Martz Do?" Well, Joe, "DDWMWD." Don't do what Martz would do. Call your own game.

Jackson gets his carries, as does Marshall Faulk, and the Rams' backfield accounts for three touchdowns.

St. Louis wins, 31-27.

Pittsburgh @ Cincinnati

How far does Bill Cowher trust Tommy Maddox with the game on the line?

"About as far as the spittle flies out of my mouth," says Cowher, "when I say the words, 'Suffering Steeler stupefying stupidity! Not another Maddox turnover!' Tommy Maddox was certainly the star of this game. And by that, I mean he will have the most screen time in film study this week when we show our quarterbacks what not to do. If I have to put Big Ben out there on crutches, I'll certainly do it."

Indeed, Maddox didn't play like a former XFL MVP. Wait a minute. Yes he did, because he's the only one. Anyway, going 11-for-28 for 154 yards, three interceptions, and a fumble won't win an MVP, but it will get Maddox some quality pine time.

The Bengals won a tough road game in Tennessee, overcoming a 20-17 deficit with two fourth-quarter touchdowns to win, 31-23. Cincinnati QB Carson Palmer posted another flawless game, with two touchdown passes and no interceptions. Palmer has now thrown 148 passes without an interception, and is second in the AFC in passer rating to Roethlisberger.

"I've single-handedly erased the memory of Akili Smith from the minds of Bengals fans," says Palmer. "Next up, David Klingler."

The Bengals have flourished this year with the play of Palmer and turnovers caused by the defense. The Steelers are a little banged up, notably stars Ben Roethlisberger and Hines Ward. Those factors, along with the homefield advantage, give the Bengals the edge. Cincy jumps on the Steelers early on a long TD pass from Palmer to Chad Johnson. The Bengals' defense makes the big plays, causing two Roethlisberger turnovers.

Cincinnati edges Pittsburgh, 22-19.

San Diego @ Philadelphia

Can LaDainian Tomlinson be stopped? After his one rushing TD, one passing TD, one receiving TD game against the Raiders, I thinks it's safe to say this: the Raiders suck. And, oh yeah, L.T. can't be stopped, and is clearly the best running back in the game.

"Absolutely, he is the best," gushes Charger coach Marty Schottenheimer. "But let's not shortchange his ability to throw the ball. He's more accurate than a lot of guys in this league. In fact, we've fielded quite a few offers in the last few days for L.T.'s quarterbacking services, most notably from the Lions, Ravens, and Jets."

The Eagles are anxious to return from their bye week and prove that their 30-10 loss to the Cowboys in Week 5 was an aberration, and not the norm.

"Everybody made such a big deal about us not being able to run the ball in that game," says Philly quarterback Donovan McNabb. "Have we tried to run the ball, ever? We've not been able to run the ball for about five years now. Not because we can't. We just choose not to. If you think we're going to run the ball just to spite those of you who said we can't, well, we're not. We'll be passing the ball."

Last week, San Diego had a brief respite from their brutal schedule with the game at Oakland. That was their only game against an opponent with a losing record so far this year. The Eagles are undefeated at home this year, and hope to reclaim their status at the top of the NFC heap. Will they try to run?

"Of course we plan to run," says Eagles' running back Brian Westbrook. "After the catch."

Westbrook catches a TD pass from McNabb, and also tosses one to Terrell Owens on a halfback option pass. San Diego has lost three heartbreakers this year, with those loses coming by a total of nine points. This one will be close, with the rested Eagles holding off a late Charger rally to win, 35-30.

San Francisco @ Washington

In the 49ers' last game against the Colts in Week 5, rookie quarterback Alex Smith passed his way to an 8.5 quarterback rating, the result of a 9-of-24, four-interception, five-sack day. I guess they won't call him "Alex the Great" anytime soon. I think "Alex the Eight" is a more appropriate moniker.

"That may be pathetic in quarterbacking terms," says 49er coach Mike Nolan, "but if you're talking about an earthquake measured on the Richter Scale, that's pretty strong. This is San Francisco, after all, and the Big One is coming. Alex is supposed to be the Big One for this franchise, but it will take time. I think it's best for him to dive in head first, against some of the toughest defenses in the NFL, and get his feet wet. I know he's a rookie, but so was Chewbacca in Star Wars. Did Chewbacca back down from anything, even though it was his first time facing intergalactic warfare? No. He handled it like a eight-year veteran. Alex has to persevere, or die trying."

Actually Mike, Chewbacca was a Wookie, not a rookie. But that's still a good analogy. By the way, I think Chewie would make a great quarterback. Put Han Solo coming out of the backfield and Lando Calrissian split wide, and you've got quite a team.

After a 3-0 start, the Redskins have dropped two straight, both to AFC West opponents on the road. Is it time to worry?

"What? Me worry?" says Washington coach Joe Gibbs, penning his signature to a $10,000 check payable to the NFL Fines Committee. "It's obvious that the AFC is the power conference this year. And it's obvious we can't beat AFC teams, especially those in the AFC West. But we can whip up on teams in the NFC West, especially at home. We already beat the Seahawks here. Now, we host the 49ers and their rookie quarterback. I smell blood."

San Fran just traded backup QB Tim Rattay to Tampa Bay, so, obviously, the 49ers are committed to letting Smith take his lumps and learn quarterbacking from the ground up. And the 'Skins are more than willing to help with that. Smith is sacked six times, and throws four interceptions. Clinton Portis rushes for 130 yards, and Washington rolls, 31-7.

Dallas @ Seattle

In this rematch of head coaches that squared off in Super Bowl XXXI, Dallas' Bill Parcells and Seattle's Mike Holgren are trying to reach that goal nine years later with different teams. So much has changed (Parcell's was coaching New England then, Holmgren was coaching Green Bay), while much has remained the same (Holmgren still has a slight weight advantage, while Parcells maintains a slim edge in reach).

"Don't forget Drew Bledsoe is my quarterback," says Parcells, "as he was in New England. Drew is very familiar with my system, which is simply this: do your job, or get chewed out. He's become a great leader and practitioner of that philosophy. Did you see him give Keyshawn Johnson the business after Key fumbled a few weeks ago? That was great. It saved me the trouble of cursing Keyshawn out, again, for about the 30th time in my career."

Seattle is rolling, leading the West and 3-0 at home. Shaun Alexander produced his yearly Sunday night explosion, rushing for 141 yards and four touchdowns against the Texans.

"Don't forget my man, Maurice Morris," says Shaun Alexander. "He rushed for 104 yards himself. When's the last time you had two running backs on the same team rush for over 100 yards? My guess is not since the tandem known as the 'Pony Express' did it at Southern Methodist University back in the 1980s. Eric Dickerson was one of the greatest running backs in the NFL, and Craig James was ... well, he's one well-dressed studio college football analyst."

Dallas will try to stop Alexander, but it's a near impossible task. Even when he's slowed, he still scores touchdown, and he's dangerous as a receiver. Without Julius Jones, the Dallas running games is nowhere near as dynamic. Expect the Seahawks to pound Alexander — Dallas will have to throw to keep up. In the end, Alexander makes the difference.

Seahawks win, 24-20.

Baltimore @ Chicago

What's it like facing the Minnesota defense one week, then finding the Ravens' defense staring across the line of scrimmage at you the next? Let Bear's quarterback Kyle Orton answer that.

"Well, the Vikings' defense has more holes in it that my granny's moth-infested bloomers," Orton explains. "The Minnesota defense is the cure for what ails any rookie quarterback."

The Ravens, after two straight losses, may have found the secret to limited success with their 16-3 win over the Browns.

"It's simple," says linebacker Ray Lewis. "Two weeks ago, we found out that if you have more penalties than points, you're likely to lose. Against the Lions, we had 21 penalties and only 17 points. Last week, 11 penalties and 16 points. I see a pattern. Also, we cut our ejections from two to zero."

The Ravens also got their rushing game in gear, totaling 150 yards on 33 carries. Ninety-two of those yards came from backup running back Chester Taylor, who has outplayed starter Jamal Lewis for most of this season.

"Jamal's been running like he's weighted down by a wiretap and a house arrest ankle bracelet," says Ravens' head coach Brian Billick. "He better step it up, or Chester will get the start. Jamal needs to run with desperation, like he's got the feds on his tail. Then, I think we'll see some improvement.

The Baltimore and Chicago defenses are ranked second and third, respectively, in total defense. So if defense and the kicking game is what turns you on, then you're one kinky son of a gun. If you like your football like that, then this is the game for you. Chicago wins a battle of turnovers and field position. Robbie Gould kicks three field goals, and the Bears win, 16-6.

Buffalo @ Oakland

Can things get any worse in Oakland? After a 27-14 loss to the Chargers, the Raiders are 1-4 and dead-last in the AFC West, averaging only 18 points a game. And Randy Moss injured his gimpy hamstring and bruised a few ribs in the loss.

"Never fear. Bill Romanowski's here," says the former Raider linebacker, pulling up in his covered wagon full of snake oils, liniment, notions, and 104 types of steroids. "Step right up. Get your potions here. Whatever ails you, I've got a cure. Hey you, Moss. Take two of these, and inject one in the morning."

"Man, why should I trust you, dawg?" asks Moss. "You ain't no doctor, and you're a crybaby. If Scott Pelley would have brought me to tears on 60 Minutes, I would have slapped him, or mooned him, or squirted him with water, or ran over him later in the CBS parking deck."

"I might not be a doctor," replies Romanowski, "but I play one in football. You current Raiders don't need steroids to get stronger; you need them to make you all raving lunatics, with a fanatic desire to cheap shot anyone in sight, and spit in the face of an opponent. As a Raider, you don't have to be good, just dirty."

"Did we all need to watch 60 Minutes to know than Romo did steroids?" asks Buffalo running back Willis McGahee. "Wasn't it obvious? Even quarterhorses came to him for the goods."

Buffalo brings the league's sixth-best rushing attack, and fourth leading rusher in McGahee, to Oakland to try and take sole possession of the AFC East lead. They have won two straight after Kelly Holcomb took over for J.P. Losman at quarterback. With Moss likely out, Oakland's downfield capabilities are severely limited. The Bills can be ran upon, but their defensive backfield is one of the league's best. Look for the Bills to control the ball with McGahee, and on defense, to limit big plays by the Raiders. McGahee breaks 100 yards again, and scores two TDs.

Buffalo wins, 27-23.

Denver @ N.Y. Giants

With their 28-20 win over the Patriots last week, the Broncos further established themselves as one of the AFC's elite teams, along with the undefeated Colts and 5-1 Bengals. They've won five straight, including wins over division rivals Kansas City and San Diego.

"That's very nice," replies Tom Coughlin. "But the Broncos have a weakness."

What would that weakness be? No John Elway?

"No, but Elway would know all about this weakness," says Coughlin. "Their weakness is NFC East teams. They've lost three Super Bowls to the Cowboys, Giants, and Redskins by a combined score of 108-40."

"There you guys go again," complains Denver coach Mike Shanahan. "Bringing up the past. Was I even the coach in any of those games? No. I'm undefeated in Super Bowls, pal. But that doesn't mean I don't want revenge for past defeats of the Bronco organization. But, more than anything, I want revenge on Peyton Manning, whose Colts have blasted us in consecutive years in the playoffs. Since I can't get my hands on Peyton, little brother Eli will have to do."

The Giants are tied for second, which is also last, in the ultra-competitive NFC East. They've been known to light up weak defenses, but the Broncos intend to stop the run, then bring the heat on Eli. Shanahan gets his quasi-revenge on Peyton. Eli throws for 250 yards, but turns the ball over three times. Tatum Bell rushes for 125 and a score.

Broncos win 32-23.

Tennessee @ Arizona

Titans' quarterback Steve McNair and Cardinals' quarterback Kurt Warner know all about injuries.

"We sure do," says McNair. "We just deal with them in different ways. While Kurt needs urgent care to treat a superficial scratch, I'm out there playing with breaks, bruises, and contusions that only Brett Favre could appreciate. Kurt pulls his hamstring and misses two weeks? Come on. I pull a hamstring every morning when I get out of bed. Anyway, it's obvious this Josh McCown kid is a better quarterback than Warner. Anybody can see that, except for Dennis Green, apparently."

If Green gives Warner the start over McCown, it will probably be the first time a quarterback has been benched for throwing for over 380 yards in consecutive games.

"How many coaches are going to make the mistake of giving Warner one more chance?" asks McCown. "I deserve to remain the starter until, one, I get hurt or, two, I play so badly that I get benched. Those just happen to be things for which Warner is famous. Give me the damn ball, Denny Green. Don't ruin this great rapport I have with receivers Larry Fitzgerald and Anquan Boldin."

Green makes the right call, and McCown gets the start. But the Cards fall victim to the more balanced Titan attack. Chris Brown rushes for a score, and McNair throws two touchdowns.

Tennessee wins, 33-27.

N.Y. Jets @ Atlanta

What would happen if Vinny Testaverde and Michael Vick lined up on the 40-yard line of the Georgia Dome and raced to the goal line? Well, it would be a close finish, but after Vick stopped a few times to sign an endorsement deal, chat with the ladies, and treat his hamstring, he should still have time to edge Testaverde at the tape.

"Don't dis' my speed," says Testaverde. "I'm the one who scored a rushing touchdown last Sunday, not Vick."

You're right, Vinny. You did turn on the jets for that one-yard touchdown sprint. But it was too little, too late. The Jets lost to Buffalo, 27-14, and fell to 2-4 on the year. The Jets can't score, averaging only 13 points a game. And with the loss of center Kevin Mawae, out for the year with a torn tricep, the running game will suffer. And that will make yards tougher to come by for Curtis Martin, the Energizer Bunny of running backs.

Vick and the Falcons will take the Monday night stage for the second time this year. In Week 1, they defeated the Eagles 14-10 on Monday Night Football.

"It's great to be playing on Monday night and not watching it on television," says Vick. "If I'm out there playing, I don't have to sit through an agonizingly boring halftime show of '60 Seconds With Jimmy Kimmel' and another version of Tim McGraw's 'I Like it, I Love it.' I don't like it, and I don't love it. But that Faith Hill is hot."

The Jets defense is no match for the Atlanta rushing attack. Warrick Dunn rushes for 100 yards, and Vick throws two TD passes. Vinny and the Jets can't keep up.

Falcons win, 34-17.

Posted by Jeffrey Boswell at 4:20 PM | Comments (2)

The Boss Needs to Play NL Ball

Whatever happened to the traditional recipe for winning a championship in baseball? As I remember it from folks who can still recall the glory days of 1998, it involved a sprinkling of reliable starting pitchers, including a lefty, seasoned with an old-fashioned bullpen that included someone who could get left-handers out and a serviceable closer.

The offense didn't have to be Kobe beef — good old rump steak would do — then throw in some decent situational hitters and someone who could run the bases. And, of course, the essential ingredient was solid glove work — the salt and pepper of the team. Mix them all in the pot and leave to simmer from April to October and you've got yourself a ring.

After the Yankees' meltdown against Arizona in 2001 the old recipe was tossed in the trash — at least in New York. Nobody cared about defense anymore and moving runners across was way too vanilla. Base running was out — going yard was in. Pitchers had to come with a losing record and an upper-90s fastball. One good season was enough to get yourself a $15 million a year deal. And who needs a bullpen when you have lights-out closer?

The new recipe had one huge failing. By October, it tasted sour. The Kobe beef batting lineup had disintegrated to tasteless shreds and the closer was overcooked. No salt and pepper left a bland taste in the mouth after your $125,000 a pound third baseman has just booted another ball around the infield. Hapless Chef Joe Torre is left to explain to the customers that they might want to call in at Wendy's on the way home.

Not that the owner of George's Bar and Grill down in the Bronx is doing so badly. Over four million customers paid to sit at one of his tables this year. That's a healthy increase on the three million of the championship years. The demographic of the new Yankee fan has changed, though — Japanese tourists paying to see Godzilla leave eight men on base and once a year patrons go there to watch A-Rod go 4-5 against Zach Grienke. The old meat and potato Yankee faithful can't afford a ticket.

I'm on record in previous articles as hating the makeup of the New Yankee Order. I'm aware I'm not alone on that score. Collecting millionaire mercenaries and offering them ludicrous paychecks may grab the headlines and put butts on seats, but it is no guarantee of winning. Of the big paycheck boys on the Yankee roster, only Derek Jeter could hold his head up. Gary Sheffield managed six singles and nothing else. So much for being the Yankee team leader. Jason Giambi hit .421, but only got 2 runs home.

Alex Rodriguez fared even worse. A-Rod has morphed into A-Fraud in the New York tabloids and he can hardly grumble at that after a .133 effort against the Angels, on top of his total collapse in Games 4-7 in last year's ALCS. Rodriguez is symptomatic of how the modern "star" is judged solely on their gaudy statistics. He devours mediocre pitching — and boy is there a whole lot of mediocre pitching these days to feast on. Come October he turns into Jose Offerman.

Rodriguez has a history of bitching about Derek Jeter in a fit of pique that the Yankee captain has collected so many rings without the God-given talent that he himself possesses. Now he has seen first hand why Jeter has rings while he can only rack up meaningless MVP awards. Jeter has heart, determination, and courage. A-Fraud hits into a double play when Jeter's at first in the ninth. Until he shows up in October, A-Rod is just a fantasy baseball stud.

If the Yankee hitting was poor, the pitching was worse. Randy Johnson looks washed up all of a sudden and unsuited to New York. Mike Mussina is at the end of his tether. Carl Pavano and Jaret Wright have been total failures, not unlike Jeff Weaver and Javier Vasquez. Luckily, Shawn Chacon and Chien-Ming Wang emerged from obscurity to bolster next years' rotation. If Brian Cashman is back in '06, starting pitching is the number one priority.

The problem, as always, is Steinbrenner himself. The Boss thinks he's a fantasy GM and runs his personal fiefdom with meddlesome inefficiency. If something goes right, he resents any credit going to Torre. If it goes wrong it's Torre's fault. A whole plethora of pointless officials down at Legend's Field exist purely to annoy Torre and Cashman.

If Steinbrenner wants to recreate the magic of 1998-200 again, he needs a personality makeover. Let his GM and manager do their jobs and sign the checks. Cashman actually did his best job yet this season, rescuing a bad season by taking a shot at Chacon and Aaron Small to shore up the rotation. If he can stomach another year listening to Steinbrenner's' childish ramblings, the Yankees will be lucky.

With a rotation of Johnson, Mussina, Wang, Chacon, and one other, the Yankees are no Astros, but they won't be the D-Rays, either. With Bernie Williams gone, a new CF who can run and throw will be a novelty in town. Hideki Matsui should be resigned, despite a horrible October. Sheffield is a locker room cancer and a postseason choker who should be traded.

Conversely, talk of moving Jorge Posada is ridiculous. His contract makes him unattractive to all, but a few teams and where exactly would Cashman find his replacement? Posada is a solid catcher who calls a good game and shuts down most running games.

Steinbrenner can look to Chicago for help on remaking a long-ball orientated team. Sluggers are box office attractions, but it's feast or famine. Ken Williams shifted Magglio Ordonez and Carlos Lee out of town and added some speed on the base paths. It may look dull, but it pays dividends. When the White Sox lineup for Game 1 of the World Series on Saturday night, the reality is that there will be two teams playing National League ball.

Posted by Mike Round at 3:30 PM | Comments (1)

Bluebook Notes #6: Cardiac Bruins

In every college football season, there is always one team that no one predicted to make some noise that ends up sounding off a thunderclap. The 2005 UCLA Bruins were picked by many to come in fourth or fifth in the Pac-10 by most pundits, but have greatly exceeded expectations.

One of the main reasons why UCLA is undefeated, and ranked ninth in the BCS is because of the stellar play of Maurice Drew. Drew, the Bruin junior running back, has flat-out made plays when needed. He can score on the ground, as a receiver, and has cast his biggest dagger on special teams.

Another reason for Bruin success has been the emergence of Drew Olson at quarterback. Two years ago, this guy was fighting for his job, and most fans in Westwood preferred Matt Moore, his former teammate and current adversary. He had a decent junior season, but has really cranked it up in 2005. His touchdown to interception ratio (15:3) is one of the best in the nation, and he is a finalist for the Unitas Award given to the top senior quarterback. Olson has fought off injuries and competition to become the man at UCLA.

The final reason for the resurfacing of UCLA football has been the coaching of Karl Dorrell. There were many insiders who thought that this could be his final season at the helm if the Bruins didn't win at least eight games. Many fans questioned Dorrell leadership and coaching ability and thought that he was unqualified to lead the program. He has proven all of his detractors wrong, and made key decision to win games.

One major call that Dorrell made was a brilliant punt-fake against California. He bucked his conservative playcalling trend with a superb decision that ended up winning the game for the Bruins. His focus on patience and execution has paid off in Westwood — the Bruins are flat-out kickin' tail. Of course, if Bruin success is to continue, they will have to improve their consistency on defense.

The reason why the Bruins are this year's "Cardiac Kids," are because they have made the improbable fourth quarter comeback almost ubiquitous. They have won their last three game in the final period and have done so with a style that even Hollywood would admire. However, the reason for the comebacks has been because their defense has gotten beat up on the ground in the first three quarters. If the Bruins wish to play USC with an undefeated record, they will have to clamp down against the run for four quarters.

To say that this has been an entertaining season for Bruin fans would be an understatement. This year's team has played well and has shown a determination and heart that had been sorely lacking from previous UCLA teams. They will be the favorite up until they meet USC in the Coliseum. If that scenario plays out, and UCLA is within striking distance in the fourth quarter, watch out, Trojan fans, because this year's team aren't just "gutty little Bruins" — they're heart-breakers.

The HeisDAQ

The race for the Heisman Trophy fluctuates week by week. The HeisDAQ will let you know whose Heisman "stock" is rising and falling.

1) Reggie Bush, RB/KR/PR USC (strong buy) — Bush showed last Saturday in South Bend exactly why he is the best player in the country. His performance against Notre Dame was unbelievable and it showed to a national audience why I picked him to take home the hardware in my preseason Heisman preview. His three touchdowns were special, but his best play was his "assistance" in getting Matt Leinart in for the winning touchdown against the Irish.

2) Matt Leinart, QB USC (buy) — Leinart's season has become somewhat ordinary for him, but he has still played exceptionally well when needed. His audible on 4th-and-9 was gutsy and his pass to Dwayne Jarrett was even better as he led the Trojans to victory on one of the best final drives in college football history. Leinart once gaudy statistics have dropped somewhat, but he is still one of top three quarterbacks in college football.

3) Vince Young, QB Texas (strong buy) — It is official — Vince Young can throw. V.Y. has closed the gap between himself and his two Trojan counterparts with superb performances against Oklahoma and Missouri. He is quickly evolving as a solid quarterback as he is making exceptional strides in dissecting the opponent's defensive schemes. He may just overtake Leinart with a superb game against Texas Tech this weekend.

4) Brady Quinn, QB Notre Dame (buy) — "Oh, the humanity!" Quinn was ever so close to leading the Irish to the upset victory against USC last weekend. His amazing scant to the endzone put Notre Dame on top, and almost sealed one of the biggest victories in school history. If Notre Dame had one, Quinn would have vaulted to No. 2, but he's still in the top five and still lurks in the shadows.

5) Maurice Drew, RB UCLA (strong buy) — Maurice Drew is riding up the Heisman chart like a freight train this year. Why? It is because he has been this year's human highlight film. He has basically done what we all thought Ted Ginn would do, and that's why Drew is now in the top five. Drew has a chance as long as the Bruins stay undefeated, and watch out if they beat USC.

6) Brodie Croyle, QB Alabama (hold) — Croyle has been one of the best offensive players this year in the surprisingly anemic SEC. He has slim Heisman hopes for two reasons. He has received relatively small publicity outside of Tuscaloosa, and his star receiver, Tyrone Prothro, has been lost for the year due to injuries. I don't see him going much higher in my list than where he is now.

7) Laurence Maroney, RB Minnesota (hold) — Minnesota had their collective hearts ripped out and stomped upon by Wisconsin last weekend. Wisconsin's unbelievable comeback has basically destroyed any chances of Maroney winning the Heisman this year. The "deuce deuce" has had a superb year by putting up great numbers, but his team might not even be in the top five in the Big 10 this year. Unfortunately, that's not going to do.

8) Marcus Vick, QB Virginia Tech (buy) — Marcus Vick has been the steadying force on a Virginia Tech team that just might end up in Pasadena. Normally, when a team is ranked No. 3 in the nation, their quarterback is almost guaranteed a spot in the Heisman top five if he is any good. Vick is good, it's just that he hasn't done too much for voters to get excited about. That could change, as he is playing better and better each week, but he just has too far to go in order to pose a serious challenge to the top contenders.

9) D.J. Shockley, QB Georgia (speculative buy) — Shockley has been another guy that has been lost in the shuffle that is the SEC this year. He is a dual-threat assassin at quarterback and makes plays when he has to. He's doing what we all thought Reggie McNeal would do (boy, did he flop) and has led the Bulldogs to an undefeated record. He suffers from the same problem as Vick, though, he just has too much ground to make up.

10) Brian Calhoun, RB Wisconsin (speculative buy) — Calhoun's three-touchdown performance against Minnesota set the stage for an unbelievable Badger comeback last Saturday. He seems to touch the ball on every play, and has carried this team on his back. His small frame doesn't seem to pose a problem, as he doesn't take square hits, thus keeping him fresh. He really should be higher on the list, but he just suffers from too much anonymity.

Games to Watch/Picks to Click

Season Record: 9-7 ATS; Last Week 2-1 ATS

Tennessee (+3.5) @ Alabama

Here is another one of those difficult to predict games. Tennessee has looked awful on offense, but their defense will be more than adequate to stop the Crimson Tide. The over/under on this game is 38, and I agree with that assessment, as it will be a defensive struggle. Alabama is still reeling from the loss of Tyrone Prothro, and I'm going with my gut as this will be an upset special.

Bleach 20, Tide 17

Texas Tech (+16) @ Texas

Texas Tech will most likely be the stiffest opposition that Vince Young, and the Longhorns will face this season. Cody Hodges and the Red Raider offense have played very well, and they will give Texas' defense all they want.

Young and Co. 45, Hodges and Filani 31

Auburn (+6.5) @ LSU

This has been the benchmark game in the SEC West for the last two seasons, and it will be no exception this year. The winner of this game controls their destiny in the West division, and has the inside track to the conference championship in Atlanta. The Tigers have played very well on defense, but have been tormented by a bunch of needless penalties. Auburn has played well on both sides of the ball, but has not really had much of a challenge since their opening season defeat against Georgia Tech. I think that LSU wins this game, and covers.

Destiny's Child Still Alive 24, Declawed Tigers 7

The Mailbag

This week's comes from Joel in Berkeley:

What the hell happened to Cal?

Joel, that's a really good question. The Bears are struggling after dropping two winnable games against UCLA and Oregon State. It looks like Joe Ayoob has been exposed as far as his passing abilities, so defenses will load up the box to stop Marshawn Lynch and Justin Forsett. Therefore, the Bears will only have success once Ayoob matures at the quarterback position, and that might be too late unless you want the Bears to end up in Las Vegas (Las Vegas Bowl) or El Paso (Sun Bowl).

Do you think that I'm "off my rocker," or did I hit the proverbial "nail on the head?" Let me know! Send an e-mail to [email protected] and include your name and hometown. I'll do my best to include it in the next week's column.

Posted by Avery Smith at 2:49 PM | Comments (5)

October 19, 2005

Lidge Over Troubled Waters

If this is any consolation to Brad Lidge, he is neither the first man in baseball history to surrender a pennant-losing home run, nor did he surrender the single most monstrous such shot when he threw Albert Pujols the slider that hung up on a thigh-high hook.

But if an Albert Pujols needs consolation after resurrecting his team with that kind of a three-run homer, he would have had the mother of all monstrous pennant-saving homers had it not been for that big window-and-girder panel separating the Minute Maid Park retractable roof from the tracks on which rolls the Houston Astros' home run train.

Tom Niedenfeuer might be tempted to pick up the phone, dial Lidge's cell phone, and offer a word of consolation that concludes with something like, "Buddy, at least you got one more chance at minimum to put that one behind you this year, this week." And Jack Clark might be tempted to pickup the phone, dial Pujols' cell phone, and offer a word of congratulations along the line of, "Buddy, you've made us proud."

Lidge probably would not have ended up on the dishonor roll of the greatly humiliated had it not been for David Eckstein, the human cockroach, whom he had down to his own and the St. Louis Cardinals' last strike of the season. The real cockroach can survive a nuclear holocaust, but there are those who think Eckstein might be the only human being with that kind of resilience, considering the way he survives everything thrown at him on a baseball field in spite of the ongoing — and by now nonsensical — analyses of his reputed shortcomings.

Eckstein snuck a two-strike single through a pair of lunging Astros left side fielders, and never mind accusing third baseman Morgan Ensberg of playing out of position, as some already have done. The only way to defense Eckstein is to hang a net around the front rim of the outfield grass. Do you think the Los Angeles Angels, licking their White Sox wounds, are going to watch Busch Stadium fans crossing their own version of the infamous red Thunder Stix every time Eckstein checks in at the plate Tuesday night, kicking themselves for buying the shinier tools at the cost of the shinier heart? The heart that just might have been the real Angels' heart, after all?

Then Jim Edmonds pried a walk out of Lidge, who looked a little too much like a nibbler and let the cockroach have second on the house first, but it might have been the smartest unintentional walk of the postseason. Normally, it is treacherous to walk an Edmonds with a Pujols next through the toll booth, but does any pitcher have that much to worry about against a man who has hit a lifetime .125 off him with one measly run batted in to show for eight such at-bats?

Not unless he throws him something to hit, even if he promises himself a fastball is not an option. And Lidge served Pujols a virtuoso first-pitch slider that banked so hard and down away from the plate that Pujols almost looked like a rookie lunging for it as it dipped below his bat head's trajectory. But then Lidge threw Pujols a second slider that traveled right down the pipe and hung up at the top of Pujols' thigh.

That was location enough for Pujols to send it on a five hundred foot flight, before Lidge finally turned the Cardinals aside so the Astros could do to Jason Isringhausen in the bottom of the ninth what they had done to him in the bottom of the eighth: nothing.

And meanwhile, somewhere in the record of Astro triumphs that recess with the smoke of the Minute Maid home run train, Lance Berkman's opposite-field chip shot into the short-porch Crawford Boxes, which turned a 2-1 deficit into the 4-2 lead they finally turned over to Lidge in the first place, was going to resemble just another might-have-been mash.

Andy Pettitte had nothing to show for his gallant Monday night start but a 2-1 deficit when he came out in the seventh, but he has everything to show Lidge about shrugging it off and getting the next one. And Pettitte can prove to Lidge that it isn't just the killifish who get baited. Pettitte and Roger Clemens were there when the coolest ninth inning barracuda in the ocean belched up two in the bottom of the ninth that meant the 2001 World Series ring for the Arizona Diamondbacks, a toddler franchise packed full of elders and big siblings.

"It's hard to relate it as far as that," said Pettitte to the Houston Chronicle of what his Astros teammate now had to feel. "The only difference is, that was it. I haven't talked to him — you've got to let him cool down a little. But Brad will shrug this off. He's got a great mentality to be a closer."

On the other hand, The Mariano was merely pried open for the tying and winning runs. And before you serve Lidge the 2004 Boston Red Sox, keep in mind that there, too, was The Mariano's armor-piercing begun by a one-strike-away stolen base. Rivera never threw the wrong slider over the wrong part of the plate to get hit for a shot that iron and glass kept from landing in downtown Houston.

But he did have to watch a little helplessly as Joe Torre pulled the infield in with Luis Gonzalez coming up. Pulling the infield in is designed to cut off a run and may be the single strategy most likely to get you killed in the eleventh hour. Gonzalez lofted a soft liner over second base that would have stopped in Alfonso Soriano's glove in regular positioning. So maybe The Mariano isn't the man to bring across a Lidge over troubled waters, after all.

You can sort of see and raise Torre if you call upon Felipe Alou just a year ago. His closer was already nudged out of the game, he was down to Wayne Franklin on the mound, the Dodgers were a run away from clinching the National League West with the bases loaded and one out in the bottom of the ninth. With Steve Finley coming up Alou pulled the infield and the outfield in. And Finley, an alumnus of the 2001 Snakes, knew only too well how futile was that idea. All he had to do was get something in the air. He got it in the air, past the infielders and the outfielders, and three rows up the right field bleachers.

Other Dodgers have felt rather than inflicted the pain, Tom Niedenfeuer because of his manager's non-call. Niedenfeuer committed no crime further than following Tommy Lasorda's non-order, against a different aggregation of Cardinals, with the Dodgers one out from the 1985 World Series. It wasn't Niedenfeuer's idea to leave first base unoccupied and pitch to Jack Clark, rather than put him on and live. Jack the Ripper hit a three-run bomb so far out of Dodger Stadium that rumors persist about the ball landing in nearby Glendale, possibly in what used to be Casey Stengel's garden.

"We still have great pitchers going for us and we can win this thing," Pettitte told the Chronicle. This team has dealt with serious adversity. We're a little stunned right now, but we can come back."

From wherever his troubled spirit rests, Donnie Moore may be tempted to wrap an arm around Lidge, maybe two, and tell him what Moore himself probably hungered too deeply to hear: "I know how it feels, brother. No way it don't hurt. Just don't be my kind of fool. Don't let it take you like an acid bath. Don't make my mistake. Don't let them break you the way I let them break me. And don't forget the way we did that you got another chance or two to take it back."

And if Lidge is attuned enough to such a brotherly gesture from the next world, he will likewise wrap an arm around Moore and promise him, "I'm gonna shake this one off and get them again. And I'm gonna do it for my guys, but I'm gonna do it for you and for everyone else who walked this road before me."

Of course Lidge may not have to wait for Donnie Moore on the extraterrestrial speed dial. Andy Pettitte needs only a few steps to reach. He might even have The Mariano lingering on his own speed dial.

Posted by Jeff Kallman at 3:58 PM | Comments (0)

NHL Back With a Bang, But Will it Survive?

It was the stuff straight out of Gary Bettman's most wonderful dream. A salary-capped league with big-name stars spread throughout the league, new rules calling obstruction, a rich cable TV deal, and fans, lots of fans.

So many fans welcomed the NHL back with open arms that the league had 98% attendance on opening night with all 30 teams on the ice. Goals were up, chances were up, TV ratings were up, and — most importantly — fans were happy with the product afteryears of griping about the NHL's slow, painful death.

This was all part of Gary Bettman's master plan, right? Put a cap on the league, call the rules, and people will come. No glowing pucks, no dancing hockey robots, just parity throughout the league and fast action on the ice.

Of course, if this were part of Gary's master plan, then the countless obstruction crackdowns prior to 2005-2006 would have stuck. Regardless of the past, the "new" NHL faces a much brighter future than the one that shut its doors in September of 2004 in the middle of a bitter labor dispute. The question remains, though: will it last?

While everything was roses and rainbows on opening night, reality began to sink in over the next few days. Some markets have returned stronger than ever (Nashville, Tampa Bay), some were always guaranteed to be good (Toronto, Detroit), but some markets took a nosedive in attendance immediately after opening night. In almost every market, the core hockey fan was back. The casual fan, however, has yet to be convinced.

The long-term success of the National Hockey League depends solely on two things — continued calling of obstruction this week in an effort to speed up the product and a stronger marketing push in a united front by both the players and the league. For the latter, the two groups are bonded by a CBA linking player salary to revenue. As Tampa GM Jay Feaster explained to his team, if they want the cap to grow (and thus allow the Lightning to keep Brad Richards and Pavel Kubina), every single player — from Vincent Lecavalier to John Grahame — better be available for promotions and media when they come calling.

The NHL did a smart thing by creating a seemingly stupid ad featuring a random scantily-clad woman dressing an anonymous hockey player. Yes, the ad was flashy, but it had little to do with hockey. No matter — just the hint of sexuality was enough to stir up controversy from a generally conservative league. People who didn't care about hockey knew the NHL was returning with an ad that was upsetting to Martha Burk. The most important part about that fact wasn't that Martha Burk was upset, but that people who didn't care about hockey knew that the NHL was back.

General awareness of a product is one thing. The league must market its best-looking, most-skilled players outside of its hockey safe zone. Teenage girls know who Tom Brady is — why shouldn't they know about Jarome Iginla or Rick Nash or (obviously) Sidney Crosby? The league has started out on the right foot, commissioning more mainstream appearances and promotion in one month than the league probably did for Bettman's entire tenure. Even casual sports fans know who Sidney Crosby now — and it sure is helping that Mr. Crosby is living up to the hype.

On the ice, the gameplay has been terrific. Chances, flow, long passes, odd-man rushes — it's exciting and intense and it begins with the rule changes and it ends with the rules actually being called. The rule changes are there for the remainder of this season, but what about the officiating? In week two, there have already been some minor gripes about inconsistent officiating. However, this is probably more due to different officiating teams assigned to games rather than a relaxation of the rule standard immediately. The only way to judge this to take the season at 20-game intervals (at roughly 1/4 chunks of the season). If game one is the same as game 20 is the same as game 40 is the same as game 80, then the league has succeeded.

For now, the NHL is back in a big way with enough momentum to make every league consider self-destruction for a year. In the same way that any team can have a hot start, the NHL can fall back to earth quickly if it becomes complacent — or worse, lazy.

Posted by Mike Chen at 3:37 PM | Comments (1)

A Walk in the Park

Smack! — Like that thing Lawrence Phillips does to women who decline to dance.

Slam! — Like that thing Rafael Palmeiro does to performance-enhancing drugs.

Spakalakawakaboom! — Like that thing Albert Pujols does to hanging sliders as fat as Lance Berkman.

Leading the Cardinals three games to one in the National League championship series, it was Lance Berkman, in fact, who gave the Houston Astros their 4-2 lead in the seventh inning of Game 5 with his three-run home run to left field off one of the best pitchers in the game in Cardinal ace Chris Carpenter.

Fast-forward now to the ninth inning (or a few Berkman chili dogs later) in a little screenplay I like to call "WALK THE GUY!"

Enter stage left: Astro closer Brad Lidge

Enter stage right: Cardinal slugger Albert Pujols

Lidge: "I hang you."

Pujols: "I crush you."

Enter stage left: Astro fatty Lance Berkman

Berkman: "Hey Brad, now that the game is over and all, you want to go out and grab a bite? There's this burrito place down the street I hear is just delicious."

THE END

With runners on first and second, two outs, and the best player in the game in Pujols at the dish, why doesn't Astro manager Phil Garner bite the bullet and walk him? Granted, you walk Pujols and you put the tying run at second base, but, then again, you pitch to Pujols and you give a hitter with a lifetime slugging percentage (.621) higher than that of Barry Bonds (.611) three chances to beat you with one swing of the bat.

With Reggie Sanders (75 strikeouts in 295 at bats in the regular season) up next, you walk Pujols and make the bruised veteran beat you. Sanders, like a Geoff Jenkins or a Jeromy Burnitz, is a dead-red fastball hitter. With stud closer Brad Lidge (sliders ahoy!) on the hill, the choice is to pitch to Sanders.

Of course, Lidge hung the 0-1 pitch to Pujols. It was a pitch Reggie Sanders could — and probably would — have blasted 400-plus feet, as well. But if there's one guy who will not miss a pitch like that, it's definitely Pujols. Why give him the opportunity to see such a pitch in the first place?

Like a Barry Bonds, Albert Pujols is such a dominant hitter, serious consideration has to be given to walking him every time he comes to the plate. With big-time protection in Scott Rolen lost for the season and Larry Walker, Jim Edmonds, and Reggie Sanders all over-the-hill and underachieving at the plate, Pujols is the only real hitter in the Cardinal lineup who should strike serious fear into the Astros pitching staff. The Astros need to pitch away from Pujols and make someone else beat them.

Staying away from Pujols, the Astros win the NLCS in six.

My pick is the Astros to win World Series, as well in six, with Clemens on the hill for the clincher.

In such a case, here's a final note to the Astros: hide the beer and champagne from Mr. Berkman — the guy is a bottomless pit.

Posted by Kevin Connelly at 3:33 PM | Comments (0)

October 18, 2005

NFL Week 6 Power Rankings

Five Quick Hits

* No one seems to agree with me, but I didn't see indisputable visual evidence to overturn Steven Jackson's fumble. The ref was Gerry Austin, the same guy who overturned Marcus Pollard's TD against Tampa Bay.

* I am really sick of hearing about the Mannings. Especially Archie.

* To balance my relentless negativity, commercials I really like: College Gameday, and Dockers San Francisco.

* This weekend, Chris Berman compared Eli Manning to Barry Sanders. Seriously. He described Little Manning as "Barry Sanders-like." That's heinous.

* Remember when 60 Minutes was a hard-hitting news show? Now it's got someone like Ricky Williams or Bill Romanowski in a feature spot every week.

***

The Seattle/Houston contest on Sunday night may not have been a marquee matchup, or even a particularly good game, but it really showcased two completely different teams. Seattle was confident, competent, efficient, sound in its fundamentals. Houston never had a chance. The Seahawks are a very good squad, but there's not a team in the league the Texans would have beaten that night. The team is utterly without confidence, the personnel is subpar, and no one seemed to have any motivation.

It is becoming reasonable to start discussing Houston's place in history in the way we used to with the Bengals. This is one of the worst teams I have ever seen, and if it doesn't turn things around, the 2005 Texans will be regarded as one of the worst teams in the history of the NFL.

Houston had a season-low sacks allowed (three), was +1 in turnovers, converted a fake punt, and still lost by 32. It's questionable, after Seattle ran all over them, whether the offense or the defense is worse. Shaun Alexander is an exceptionally good running back, but the Texans made him look like the second coming of Jim Brown. Seattle's offensive line simply dominated the game. I predict a 2-14 finish for Houston, with the first win coming November 27 against the Rams. That might be generous.

1. Indianapolis Colts [1] — The defense showed some real cracks, particularly against the run (5.0 yards per carry Monday night), but it stiffened after the first quarter and came up with big plays. Cato June continues to impress, and he probably locked up a Pro Bowl selection with his second consecutive two-interception game. Dwight Freeney had a fairly quiet night, but John Madden really missed the boat when he claimed, with 0:57 left in the first half, that Orlando Pace was handling Freeney. Pace jumped before the snap to beat Freeney's speed rush. If you watch the replay, you can see not only Pace's jump, but Freeney pointing at him to alert the officials. Alex Barron had jumped the snap before, the home crowd was roaring, and the Rams were rattled. Even at 17-0 with a healthy Marc Bulger, this was never a game.

2. Pittsburgh Steelers [2] — Teams are packed very tightly between second and 10th or so, and this is a questionable ranking after they lost at home to Jacksonville. But next week, Hines Ward will play and Tommy Maddox probably won't throw three interceptions. The Steelers came awfully close to winning on Sunday — that overtime just looked like fate — and with better QB play, they probably would have.

3. Denver Broncos [7] — Five victories in a row against top teams, although four of those have been at home. The Broncos have some tough games left, but the only really scary one I see is at San Diego the last week of the season. By then, Denver may be resting its starters anyway.

4. San Diego Chargers [6] — Fascinating matchup in Philadelphia next week, which could set the tone for the rest of both team's seasons. San Diego's offense has been on fire recently, and I think LaDainian Tomlinson will have another big game. The Chargers' defense is uncharacteristically poor for a Marty Schottenheimer-coached team, though, and I think you'll see a shootout. San Diego by a touchdown.

5. Jacksonville Jaguars [8] — Consecutive wins against top teams, and I toyed with ranking them as high as second, but the offense just hasn't shown enough consistency for me to put them so high.

6. Cincinnati Bengals [3] — Probably shouldn't be this high, but neither should anyone below them, and this way I won't look too dumb if they beat Pittsburgh.

7. Seattle Seahawks [12] — What happens to Alexander on Sunday nights? It's one of the marvels of the NFL. And I know I said this last week, but if not for Tomlinson, Alexander and Edgerrin James would be getting Emmitt-and-Barry treatment for the way they're playing this season.

8. Atlanta Falcons [4] — The pass defense had another mediocre showing, and the run defense got embarrassed by the Saints' backups, who posted 174 yards and two TDs with a 6.2 average. The passing game remains inconsistent at best, and Michael Vick seems to be having trouble staying healthy. The good news is that Atlanta's schedule eases up for the next month, until a critical division matchup against Tampa Bay.

9. Philadelphia Eagles [9] — If I had to guess, I think Philadelphia will probably win the NFC East, but this division is wide open, and the Eagles are vulnerable. Injuries have been a factor, but the problems are the same as last year: running the ball and stopping the run.

10. New England Patriots [5] — Enormous problems on defense, and I'm starting to wonder if it has anything to do with Eric Mangini replacing Romeo Crennel. They've had a ton of injuries, but the same thing happened last year. I couldn't figure out then why it wasn't hurting them, and I can't figure out now what's different than 2004.

11. Tampa Bay Buccaneers [10] — Cadillac Williams will probably be back for their next game, but reports indicate that QB Brian Griese will miss the rest of the season. That's bad news for a team that's in contention for a division title in the competitive NFC South.

12. Washington Redskins [11] — They might have the best third-and-out defense in 20 years, but this team is not going to be successful without some big plays. Washington has forced only five sacks so far (last in the NFL) and is -8 in takeaways/giveaways (31st, ahead of the Saints). Sean Taylor made a couple of borderline-late hits early in the second half this Sunday and was lucky not to catch a flag.

13. Dallas Cowboys [16] — Dominated the Giants in a way their three-point overtime victory doesn't reflect, and in virtually every category. The exception was rushing average, where Dallas was unable to get anything going without Julius Jones. Actually, the Cowboys haven't had great success with Jones, either — they're averaging just 3.2 yards per carry, 30th in the NFL.

14. Kansas City Chiefs [15] — Marc Boerigter got decked by Derrick Frost on Sunday. I mean, knocked clear off his feet. Frost is Washington's punter. FOX managed to miss the referee's calls twice during this game because they were running other stories.

15. Carolina Panthers [14] — Zero rushing first downs on Sunday, giving both teams in the game a combined total of one. The Panthers were lucky to escape with a win in Detroit, and I don't think the team is very good, but their season will come down to four division matchups against the Falcons and Bucs.

16. New York Giants [13] — I don't want to be too hard on Brandon Jacobs, a rookie whose fumble on the goal line may have cost New York the game this weekend. So how about blaming the coaching staff instead? Tiki Barber is a great runner between the tackles as well as outside them, and he's got a real nose for the end zone. Barber scored 15 TDs last season, and he shouldn't be coming out of the game in key situations like that.

17. Buffalo Bills [21] — Run defense is really horrid, but Kelly Holcomb has re-energized the offense, which looks legit for the first time all season. The Bills can put themselves in the playoff picture with a win over Oakland in Week 7.

18. Detroit Lions [17] — I've been pulling for Joey Harrington, but he's really struggling. I can't imagine that Jeff Garcia won't be this team's quarterback at the end of the year. The Lions are decent enough, in their horrible division, that Garcia could lead them to the playoffs.

19. Baltimore Ravens [22] — Dominated time of possession and had almost twice as many yards from scrimmage as the Browns. Todd Heap makes you wonder what the Ravens might have done the last few years if he had stayed healthy.

20. Chicago Bears [30] — The Bears are 2-0 in the NFC North. Sadly, this could affect the playoffs.

21. Oakland Raiders [18] — If Randy Moss can't go next week, the offense will be terrible, too.

22. Miami Dolphins [19] — Well, that certainly justified the Ricky Williams hype.

23. Tennessee Titans [26] — They've been missing Derrick Mason, who left for Baltimore, and now Drew Bennett is injured. The Titans have three winnable games coming up before the bye, and they've got to win at least two if they're going to make anything out of this season.

24. Cleveland Browns [23] — Trent Dilfer had his first really rocky day as a Brown, getting sacked four times, with two fumbles, an interception, and under five yards per attempt.

25. New Orleans Saints [27] — Antowain Smith and Aaron Stecker had a field day filling in for Deuce McAllister, and statistically, the Saints beat Atlanta in almost every category. Smith's fumble, returned 66 yards for a touchdown by the Falcons, probably was the difference in a game the Saints could have — and probably should have — won.

26. St. Louis Rams [24] — On Monday Quarterback, which each week I wonder a little more why I watch, Trey Wingo and Eric Allen couldn't wait to put Pace in the Hall of Fame. As someone who pays a lot of attention to that process, I feel fairly confident that Pace will never have a bust in Canton. He's still above-average, but hasn't been a really elite player for years. Linemen need more than three or four years at the top to make it to the Hall.

27. Arizona Cardinals [28] — Stadium music has become much less conservative over the last decade. Today Guns 'n Roses, Black Sabbath, and AC/DC are popular selections, as are a lot of newer hip-hop and modern rock songs. Twenty years ago, any team that played "Welcome to the Jungle" in front of 60,000 people would have had a public relations disaster on its hands. The Cardinals had a bye this week.

28. Green Bay Packers [29] — If they win in Minnesota next week, the Packers will probably end up winning the NFC North. If they don't, I might rank them 30th again.

29. New York Jets [25] — Lost Kevin Mawae for the season, and the upcoming schedule won't make things any easier.

30. Minnesota Vikings [20] — This boat incident is being blown way out of proportion, but it is representative of this team's utter lack of control over itself. In a game in which it statistically outplayed its opponent, Minnesota still lost 28-3, basically on special teams and red zone defense. Mike Tice has no business being a head coach in this league. His team is a ridiculous mess.

31. San Francisco 49ers [32] — I would like to use this space to issue a public apology to the 49ers for ranking them below Houston last week. San Francisco is wretched, but I have a funny feeling they could keep things close against Washington in Week 7.

32. Houston Texans [31] — As if this team needed to get worse, five starters are expected to miss next week's game against the Colts, including Kailee Wong, who is out for the season.

Posted by Brad Oremland at 9:13 PM | Comments (1)

Weis Leads Notre Dame Into New Era

It was a crisp, cool night in South Bend as I watched the final seconds tick off the clock from a field seat at Notre Dame Stadium. The only thing going through my mind was that the Fighting Irish were seconds away from the win that would guarantee them a shot at the national championship.

I couldn't have felt happier, until the win was horrifically wrenched away by a last-second score. The comeback had fallen short, the magic had run out, and I was left standing on the field wondering what could have been. It was the only time I ever cried at a football game.

Flash forward 12 years. I'm watching Brady Quinn march the Fighting Irish down the field to take the lead against the top-ranked Trojans of Southern California. As the seconds ticked off the clock to zero, I went crazy (the official statistics were five people hugged, 39 high fives exchanged, and one voice instantaneously lost). Then it happened — time went back up onto the clock, Matt Leinart snapped the ball, and then was pushed into the end zone by Reggie Bush. Suddenly, I was that 8-year-old boy on the field at Notre Dame Stadium again, left to watch the team he loves lose on a freak series of plays at the end of the game.

It was different this time (for instance, I wasn't on the field consoling the starting backfield after the game, thanks to Notre Dame getting rid of field seats when they renovated the stadium), but the feeling of having your heart shattered like a framed picture of Knute Rockne dropped from the top of the Golden Dome is still the same. Yet, I wouldn't have it any other way.

While analysts were quick to label this game as one of the greatest of all-time, they also said something that just didn't make sense: "I'm glad to be impartial — without a favorite team, I can really enjoy this game." I don't buy into that theory at all. Sure, that loss was the worst I have experienced in the last 12 years as a sports fan, but without those losses, the wins aren't nearly as sweet. It's these types of highs and lows that really make being a sports fan worth it. Would the Red Sox have enjoyed last year's World Series half as much if they hadn't experienced those colossal choke jobs of the past? I simply couldn't imagine following sports without a favorite team, it just wouldn't be the same.

Even after the colossal loss, it's hard to be too down. The manner in which it was lost was terrible. One, the ball should have been spotted back at least to the two-yard-line after the fumble, which would have prompted a kick; two, the timeout called by the USC coaching staff should have resulted in a five-yard-penalty; and three, Reggie Bush's push of Matt Leinart on the final play was completely and 100% illegal. Still, as much as I'd like to blame controversy for the loss, the game was really lost when Leinart made the most perfect throw I've ever seen in football on 4th-and-9 to set the Trojans up inside the red zone. Arguing otherwise would just trivialize a great game.

Naturally, I'm taking my lead from Charlie Weis in all of this. Usually, I would be one of those fans who sits and cries and complains of how we were screwed. I would have been furious that Reggie Bush openly committed a penalty that wasn't called, even though I don't believe the rule is a worth a damn anyway. I still have a problem with the spot of the ball and the timeout, but I know it's not why we lost the game.

I think the reason I can take this loss like a man is because of Weis. In fact, while we are only six games into his regime, I've never felt more confident of a coach than I am about Charlie Weis. The guy has shown he can coach, we've seen that in his time in the NFL and with the work he's done with this team over the summer and fall — that's a given. He's now shown me that he can coach Notre Dame football. He displayed that during his visit with the terminally-ill boy during the week of the Washington game (and by still calling his play), he showed it to me when he stopped in the USC locker room after the game to congratulate their players, and he showed it to me by passing on turning the end of the USC game into a full-blown controversy.

"I would hope that my running back, with the game on the line, would take the same risk," Weis said in his news conference. "What's the worst that can happen? A five-yard penalty and then you kick the field goal. Is it illegal? Yes. But is it a heads-up play? Yes."

Before I get too far, I want to clear up any Tyrone Willingham/Weis talk. I know that Ty won his first eight games in his first season. I also know that his team was completely exposed as a fraud at the end of the season, starting by getting slaughtered by USC. Weis has played a much better USC team, and was a ridiculously lucky fumble away from defeating them. I'm not looking for a moral victory here, I'm just pointing out the obvious — Weis is going to be a far greater coach than Ty Willingham.

The Associated Press Poll now is the only one giving Notre Dame the credit they deserve by keeping them in the top 10. I have no respect whatsoever for the Harris Poll or the Coaches' Poll. How the hell is the solution to the BCS to create another poll that is completely biased? The problem of bias is supposed to be solved by trying to make sure everyone has a little bias? The Harris Poll makes about as much sense as hiring Dave Wannstedt to coach your football team. The fact of the matter is that coaches simply don't have time to watch other teams (more than a few have told me that) and the Harris Poll is simply a complete joke.

Polls won't matter in the end if (when) Notre Dame takes care of business by winning out. More importantly, I'm ready to embrace the new era of Notre Dame football. The championship-less and coaching carousel era is a thing of the past (for the record, the '93 team was better than FSU and should have been national champs), with the two most painful losses I've experienced as a sports fan as bookends. And when that national championship finally comes (it's only a matter of time — maybe a year?), it will be that much sweeter because of losses like this. And I wouldn't have it any other way.

The Sports Gospel According to Mark is sponsored by BetOnSports.com. BetOnSports.com gives you the greatest sports action to bet on. Wager on football, cricket, boxing, Rugby, horse racing, and more. Mark Chalifoux is also a weekly columnist for SportsFan Magazine. His columns appear every Tuesday on Sports Central. You can e-mail Mark at [email protected].

Posted by Mark Chalifoux at 8:54 PM | Comments (2)

October 17, 2005

The Fall Classic: Slots Are Filling Fast

Sunday was not kind to a pair of relief pitchers.

Ironically, arms were not their demise. It was the leather.

Fielding errors by the Cardinals' Jason Marquis and the Angels' Kelvim Escobar each allowed go-ahead runs that proved the difference as St. Louis fell to the Astros, 2-1, and Los Angeles was eliminated by the Chicago White Sox, 6-3.

In Houston, as a Game 5 pitchers' duel developed, the likelihood that the next run may well be the game-winner magnified with each inning as the Cardinals and Astros moved to the seventh in a 1-1 deadlock.

After Astros reliever Chad Qualls (1-0) worked a one-two-three top half of the seventh, Orlando Palmeiro, pinch-hitting for Qualls, drew a leadoff walk off loser Jason Marquis (0-1) to open the Astros' seventh.

Second baseman Craig Biggio then laid down a sacrifice to the first base side of the mound. Marquis angled for the ball and appeared to attempt a running scoop-and-tag as Biggio raced down the line. The ball squirted under Marquis' glove and his forward momentum carried him out of position to recover. Everyone was safe.

With two base runners ad no outs, Astros Manager Phil Garner called on Chris Burke to bunt, then inexplicably waived it off. Burke, who led his team with nine sacrifices this season, flied harmlessly to left and Marquis was redeemed.

That is, until first basemen Lance Berkman walked on four pitches, loading the bases for Morgan Ensberg. Ensberg lifted a fly to center that would have ended the inning were it not for Marquis's error. With only one out, this fly proved deep enough to plate Willy Tavares — who had just taken Palmeiro's spot on third base — with the go-ahead run.

Four hours later and 1,500 miles to the west, the Angels' Kelvim Escobar found himself a similar fate.

Escobar was trying to work out of the top of the eighth inning in a 3-3 contest in Anaheim. He had been tagged for a game-tying homer by Joe Crede the inning before, but set down the first two White Sox of the eighth before walking Aaron Rowland.

Escobar bore down on A.J. Pierzynski, but the White Sox catcher managed to hit a sharp comebacker that glanced off Escobar and rolled toward first base. Escobar made after the ball and, unlike Marquis in Houston, picked it up cleanly. Nor was there any indecision on Escobar's part. His only thought was to apply the tag to the runner, which he did with his glove. Unfortunately, the ball was still in his hand.

First base umpire Randy Marsh initially called Pierzynski out, ending the inning. The Angels cleared the field, but home plate umpire Ed Rapuano conferred with Marsh and the call was reversed. Pierzynski was awarded first base. The Angels had to retake the field.

One batter later, Joe Crede drove Rowland home with an infield single, his third RBI of the night. Chicago led, 4-3.

Although the Astros and White Sox got their go-ahead runs with similar assistance, each team held on in its distinct way.

With a 2-1 lead, Astros right-hander Dan Wheeler worked a scoreless eighth after giving up a leadoff hit. For the ninth, he turned the ball over to Brad Lidge.

As 43,010 fans rose to their feet in the Astrodome, the Houston closer promptly surrendered back-to-back singles to Albert Pujols and Larry Walker, putting Cardinals at the corners with no outs.

Lidge then faced Reggie Sanders, who he had struck out five times in six previous meetings this year. He quickly got ahead 0-2 before Sanders dribbled a grounder down the third-base line. Ensberg charged and made a nice throw to the plate to cut down Pujols.

However, the play didn't stop with the tag, even though the Astros did. Larry Walker, realizing time was never called, rounded second base and seized third amidst the Astros' confusion. Once again, the tying run was only 90 feet away.

And once again, Lidge rose to the challenge, getting rightfielder John Mabry in an 0-2 hole. With the Astros infield at double-play depth, Mabry grounded the third pitch to second. There was no play at the plate as Walker trotted home. The ball did not appear to be hit sharply enough to double up Mabry.

Nevertheless, second baseman Eric Bruntlett threw to shortstop Adam Everett for the force-out at second. As Reggie Sanders barreled toward the base, Everett pivoted and fired a return throw to first.

As soon as he released the ball, Everett knew he had his man. His throw beat Mabry by the closest of margins, but it gave his team a commanding 3-1 margin in the best-of-seven NLDS.

There was no such suspense in Anaheim.

Given a 4-3 lead, Jose Contreras set down the Angels in order in both the eighth and ninth innings. In an era marked by left-handed specialists, setup men, and closers, the pitching machine that is the Chicago White Sox recorded their fourth consecutive complete game victory.

Now, for the first time in 46 years, the Fall Classic will feature a team from Chicago.

As for their opponent, Houston will send Andy Pettitte (1-1) to the mound tonight. The Cardinals will counter with Chris Carpenter (2-0) in a Game 1 rematch.

By night's end, the community of Houston, whose team started this season at 15-30, may be basking in the celebration of its first-ever pennant.

The Chicago White Sox against the Houston Astros for all the marbles? Not my first choices back in April.

Posted by Bob Ekstrom at 11:28 AM | Comments (0)

Eagles Must Regroup on the Run

When the Eagles went down 17-0 against the Cowboys, as they did against the Chiefs two weeks ago, I thought they still had a shot. Sure enough, they moved the ball down the field early in the second quarter. A touchdown here and they would have been right back in the game. But Donovan McNabb and the Eagles were forced to kick a field goal, and would not be heard from for the rest of the game.

When it was all over, I was left sitting stunned, as the Eagles were completely dominated by a team they had beaten by an average of 20 points in seven of their last eight meetings.

There wasn't much that went right for Philly in Week 5 against the Cowboys. Coming into the game, the Eagles were the top-rated offense in the league. All they could muster against a Dallas team that had lost to Oakland in the previous week was 164 total yards and 3 points (7 on defense). McNabb, with his injured sternum, abdomen, shin, etc., has been starting slow in most games this season, but he never even got going against the Cowboys.

His poor play in the game is now prompting critics to wonder if he should have gotten the surgery for his sports hernia earlier in the season. If he continues to play as he did against Dallas, there is no doubt that he should go under the knife and try to get ready for the playoffs (if they make it).

For the time being, I think that he should give it another shot against the Chargers in Week 7, and if the injuries are still affecting his ability to perform on the field, they should put him on the shelf for the rest of the season and hand the keys over to Koy Detmer or Mike McMahon.

Without McNabb, the Eagles would attempt to feature a more balanced attack, as they did in 2002 when McNabb broke his leg. Koy Detmer and A.J. Feeley combined to lead the Eagles to a 7-2 finish, giving the Eagles homefield advantage, and allowing the Eagles to trade Feeley.

This time around, whoever fills in may find the job even easier, as the Eagles now have Terrell Owens, L.J. Smith, and Greg Lewis to throw to, instead of James Thrash and Todd Pinkston.

Regardless, with or without McNabb, I think it's time the Eagles start running the ball more consistently. Seven rushing attempts in a game is ridiculously low, even in a blowout. The Eagles need to shoot for 20-25 rushing attempts per game, if nothing else to give the defense a rest.

Even if they are not moving the ball, they can churn some time of the clock so the defense is not on the field for two-thirds of the game, as was the case against Dallas

The Eagles even outdid the Houston Texans in Week 5, who were able to produce their highest yardage output of the season, 262 yards (although it should be noted that the Texans were playing the Tennessee Titans and still only managed to pick up six first downs).

Philly matched the Texans' six first downs, and their six three-and-outs, as well.

The Eagles must forget the debacle in Dallas and move on. Every team has a couple bad games during the season, and the Eagles are no exception. It just so happens that their bad game was the worst game they have ever played since Koy's brother Ty was the quarterback of the future for the Eagles.

Moving forward, look for coach Andy Reid to get Bryan Westbrook and Lamar Gordon going against the Chargers, although the Chargers' run defense is one of the best in the league. He knows that teams will continue to play with five and six defensive backs to stop the Eagles' vaunted passing attack. The Chargers will look to put a lot of pressure on McNabb and one of the best ways to slow them down would be to run the ball.

In order to set up the pass, the Eagles must show a concerted effort to run, or it won't even matter if McNabb is healthy or not.

For more Stephen McFadden, visit my blog at nflhq.blogspot.com

Posted by Stephen McFadden at 11:23 AM | Comments (2)

I Hate Mondays: What's the Point?

Since the new NHL has returned, I haven't heard anything but praise and plaudits for the changed game.

That's great, but it still doesn't alter my typically sour Monday mood.

I want to know why NHL teams get a point for an overtime loss. The winning team is awarded two points, a regulation loss nets nothing but an overtime loss is good for one point. If some people still don't take the NHL seriously, it is because of rules like this.

Let me get this straight: two teams have sweated it out through three periods of hockey and the game is still deadlocked, so you award them a point. Hmm ... where else have I seen this?

Oh, yeah — nowhere.

The National Basketball Association doesn't reward teams who are tied after regulation. Can you imagine Bud Selig trying to explain Major League Baseball's decision to add the "overtime loss" column to every team's record and present half a win for team's who play in extra innings?

What kind of achievement is that?

Maybe I was mistaken, but I thought the goal of sports was to pit two teams against each other and determine a winner and a loser.

At some point or another, likely at its origin, this rule may have made sense.

Prior to the days of the shootout, there were just wins, losses and ties.

The NHL wanted to decrease the number of games that ended as ties and increase the number of games that resulted as wins or losses, so it granted every overtime participant one point and placed another one up for grabs. Teams playing in the extra frame did not need to worry about playing for a tie and more teams started to play more dangerously with, essentially, nothing to lose and everything to win.

Fast-forward to the present day, where every game that is still tied after a short overtime period heads to a three-man shootout, and you see that there is no need for this rule.

There are no more ties in the NHL, so what is the purpose of an overtime loss?

Every time someone who is not fully familiar with hockey asks me about that third column, my explanation is clear, but the purpose of it is never comprehendible.

It almost looks as if subsisting until the overtime period is accomplishment of some sort when in reality, it isn't. Do coaches at the minor-league level pat their players on the back when they've made it to overtime?

"Hey, good job guys, you made it to overtime. Enjoy this one."

Or maybe this is a seed that should be planted in future NHLers at a very young age.

"Listen son, remember to keep your stick on the ice, remember to keep your head up and remember that losing in overtime is half as good as winning."

Overtime is just more time. It's not a bonus round, it's not a feat. It is merely added time to determine a victor.

To be honest, if you are going to distribute points for making it to bonus time, I don't think it should stop there. Here's my system: dole out points after every period. If you are winning after the first period, that's two points, leading after the second is three points, and if you actually win the game, that's four points. Now if you triumph in the four-on-four overtime segment, that's five points and the shootout is worth six.

Sounds pretty dumb, doesn't it?

So does awarding points for playing in overtime.

Overtime losses and the NHL mix like Mondays and me.

"One of the great dangers in having a career is getting bored." — Itzhak Perlman

Posted by Dave Golokhov at 11:18 AM | Comments (1)

Astros on Way to First Pennant?

As we head into Game 5 of the National League Championship Series between the Houston Astros and the St. Louis Cardinals on Monday, many experts are scratching their heads again due to Houston's 3-1 advantage over St. Louis, which won 100 games in the regular season and dominated all year. The Astros have the opportunity to clinch the NL pennant by winning Game 5 of the NLCS, with big-game pitcher left-hander Andy Pettitte going for them at Minute Maid Park, the Astros' home.

Since Game 7 of the 2004 NLCS when the Cardinals eliminated the Astros in overcoming Roger Clemens' starting pitching in that game, the Astros were not expected to be in the position they now find themselves in a year later, formidably challenging the most winning team in all of Major League Baseball in the 2005 regular season.

The Astros started the 2005 season with a disappointing 15-30 record and still had doubts about the health of Andy Pettitte's elbow coming back from offseason surgery, including what kind of a season Roger Clemens would have for them again. Both pitchers have more than lived up to their billing all season long, even though they have tailed off thus far in the NLCS.

In spite of Pettitte's and Clemens' atypical performances in Games 1 and 3, stellar pitching performances by starters Roy Oswalt, who won 20 games in the regular season and won Game 2, and Brandon Backe, who had less than success against St. Louis in the regular season, but won Game 4, have provided enough leeway for the remaining lineup to do the little things necessary to win.

There are no excuses in the postseason, and all bets are off, as game pressure and lingering injuries can be big factors in the performances of key personnel. Every pitch, every defensive play, and every bloop hit figure into this best of seven series. Now for all of you well-versed baseball fans, none of this comes as a surprise. But perhaps it is the way the Astros have risen to the occasion in the 2005 postseason that is rather different.

Even though the Astros finished with 89 wins, they are a curious combination of talent and will. They win with intangibles unique to their group of players and management, which does not show up in the box score. For years, second baseman Craig Biggio and first baseman and currently pinch-hitter Jeff Bagwell, have been the heart and soul of Houston. Biggio at 39, who just signed a one-year contract extension, is expected to be a lock for the Hall of Fame, and Bagwell is also mentioned in such discussions. They are two of a very few major leaguers left who have played the entirety of their careers with one team. Biggio has been in Houston for 18 years and Bagwell for 15, yet both have never played in a World Series.

Added to the roster in 2004 was Roger Clemens, who returned in 2005 and provided the team's courage to excel. His winning and unselfish spirit of team-first mentality elevated the Astros to overachieve. When they had an awful first half in 2004, manager Jimy Williams was let go and in his place came Phil Garner. But the Astros had a lot of work to do and did not arise from the ashes until August 2004, when they also permanently lost the services of Andy Pettitte to elbow surgery. So what, you say, this has all been said before! Yes, but 2004 was the precursor for 2005 for the Astros rather than a lucky stab at a world championship as it was so termed.

2005 found Houston deep in a hole until nearly the second half again, and it was their pitching and a healthy Andy Petttite that reliably picked them up and led the way. Roger Clemens, who had the lowest ERA of 1.87 in all of baseball and the lowest ERA in MLB for the past ten years, had nine no-decisions and when he did win, the runs provided were scant. But his encouragement and desire to win was key to the Astros winning the NL wildcard.

Pettitte's homecoming was but delayed from last year, and he was ripe to excel in 2005 as he did with a 17-9 record and 2.39 ERA with 222 innings pitched and 171 strikeouts. And Phil Garner's managing-from-the-gut instinct was the brains behind the incentive to win. Biggio's and Bagwell's heart was never questioned, although Bagwell remained on the DL almost all season due to shoulder surgery.

The NLCS will be statistically analyzed and sized up by experts galore, but should the Astros win the 2005 NLCS, perhaps there will be more discussion about how they got there. After all, the Astros have not won a pennant or world championship in their 44 years of existence.

Should the Astros progress to the World Series what should be discussed is how a bunch of nice guys with above-average talent were turned around with the arrival of Roger Clemens and the free-spirit managing style of Phil Garner. Clemens brought credibility and class to an organization that was stagnant. And Clemens continued to lead by example with his dominating pitching style, nothing short of remarkable at age 43.

And by the time all is said and done, the Astros may have won their first pennant in team history due to their consummate quest to win. This year, they are the real deal.

Posted by Diane M. Grassi at 10:44 AM | Comments (0)

October 15, 2005

Rating the New NHL

So there I was last week, basking in the glory of another widely-read and enormously funny edition of "A Hockey Cynic's Guide to the NHL." A celebratory brew in my frosty New Jersey Devils 1995 commemorate Stanley Cup Champions mug, I was putting the finishing touches on the second divisional preview for the "Cynic's Guide" to the Western Conference...

... and then my computer died.

Well, not dead. More like poisoned, like that Ukrainian politician whose face became Silly Putty after a few weeks. I could load Windows, but as soon as the desktop came up, so would a blue screen and an error message that made as much sense as your average episode of Lost.

I'm happy to report that everything is now A-OK. But I feel that publishing the full Western Conference preview would be a waste, seeing as how the season is about two weeks old and I never did get around to previewing the "No, Seriously, Texas is on the Pacific" Division. (All you really missed were 10,000 jokes comparing J.S. Giguere's pads to everything from a Thanksgiving Parade float to Kirsty Alley's ass.)

But I feel I owe everyone who had such nice things to say about Part 1 a few of the better lines from Part 2, such as:

The Columbus Blue Jackets' Worst Excuse For a Player — Manny Malhotra. In 1998, Wayne Gretzky said, "in six or seven years, the Rangers will be building the team around" Malhotra. Maybe at that point they were considering building from the fourth line out.

The Detroit Red Wings' Worst Excuse For a Player — Chris Chelios. I Googled his name and found this entry on something called ThatHockeyChick.com: "chris chelios is a self absorbed, pompous prick and even his immediate family will agree. he's so caught up in his fame and fortune that he has completely turned his back on all his friends and family. chris chelios cares only about one person...chris chelios. he is a sad example of what fame and fortune can do to somebody." Who am I to argue with an anonymous poster on a message board I've never read before?

Why the Calgary Flames Won't Win the Stanley Cup — Actually, I really hope they do, or at least make it to the Finals. My amateur porn collection could use a few more snaps of Flames girls "celebrating" on the Red Mile.

The Nashville Predators' Worst Case Scenario — Paul Kariya becomes a household name in Nashville ... for having a "purdy mouth."

Why the St. Louis Blues Won't Win the Stanley Cup — Because there's a legitimate concern that Keith Tkachuk will attempt to peel it open to get to the chocolate he's convinced is inside.

Okay, with that out of the way, let's focus on the here and now in the NHL. A few random thoughts on the season thus far:

Item: Scoring Up, Hitting Down

Having actually seen this "new" NHL in person, I'm impressed. There's more room in the offensive zone, little time spent in the neutral zone, and the flow of the game is better...

...when it's five-on-five, which in the case of the Devils and Penguins, whom I saw open the season, was for about 27 seconds. I imagine that power plays will decrease when the players "learn" what they can and can't do; but if they don't, I can't say I'll be happy with half-court hockey for three periods.

The biggest problem I have with these new rules is the utter lack of physical intensity in any of these games. I'm frustrated by the tentative nature of the defensemen in the league, who feel like if they look at a forward near the crease the wrong way, they're getting whistled. And boy, do I miss those scrums after every stoppage of play — what used to seem like a petty annoyance is practically nostalgia now.

I'm putting my faith in the players and The Game, in that once the rules are clearly established and obstruction has its expected reduction, the physical play will return. It better, when the playoffs come — I refuse, as a fan, to sacrifice physical play for flashy stats. This isn't Roller Hockey International.

What will Gary Bettman's legacy be if his regime actually figured out a way to screw up playoff hockey?

Item: Bill Clement Hosts NHL Studio Show on OLN

OLN is taking its lumps in various corners of the hockey media, but from a production standpoint, I'm willing to work with them. They're not going to reinvent the wheel, but let's wait and see what these games look like in January. Especially if they get around to using the Rail Cam, which is the coolest thing to hit the NHL since Pavel Bure.

(That said, I'm incredibly disappointed that, yet again, there's a complete lack of attention to the commentators they've chosen. When will these broadcasters learn that the "casual" viewers they so badly yearn for in the United States don't care if the color guy knows where Brad Richards played as a 10-year-old — they just want someone who can pronounce "out" without sounding like they just flew in from Moosejaw.)

As for the OLN studio show ... wow, what a delightful train wreck.

Keith Jones, I like very much. Good enthusiasm and I think, when he gets a bit more comfortable, he's going to be a better "middle man" than Ray Ferraro was on ESPN.

Neil Smith? Either get this man a Red Bull before every taping, or have Simon Cowell write his lines. What should be the curmudgeonly cynic of the panel comes off as a giant bore. And what's the sense of having the GM of the 1994 Rangers commenting on a game whose new financial landscape makes people of his ilk complete relics?

And then there's host Bill Clement. That's right, host. The former color commentator is running the show, and it couldn't be more awkwardly hilarious.

You haven't lived until you've heard this man do voiceovers during game highlights. He actually tries to drop of few hip SportsCenter-esque references into the mix. Imagine your dorky uncle swapping places with Stuart Scott for a night, and then trying to work with the same lingo.

How geek-tastic is Clement as a studio host? Picture the lovechild of Cliff Clavin and Ned Flanders trying to spice up Minnesota/Nashville highlights with something akin to "and boom goes the dynamite."

But in the end, that's exactly what a good studio host is. He's folksy in a noble nerd sort of way. There's something inviting about Clement, just like there's something inviting about James Brown and Greg Gumble and Ernie Johnson. None of them are making the cover of Rolling Stone any time soon, but you could picture any of them teaching a Bible study class or working the grill at the company picnic.

Clement is the first studio cable host for hockey that might actually be able to please the puckheads as well as Joe Fan. ESPN's John Buccigross loves the sport and knows his stuff, but he was preaching to the converted — nothing about his shtick was going to attract a new viewer, even if they had an '80s hair metal fetish.

I never liked Clement as a color commentator. He always came off as John Davidson-lite, and never really adding anything to the broadcast other than Flyers homerism.

But, strangely, I do like him on OLN. Now stop pucking around and get the right supporting cast around him.

In other words: would you finally just retire, Jeremy Roenick?

Item: Sportsnet.ca Hires Discredited Rumor-Monger Eklund

Well, there's one bookmark that just opened up for me.

Item: Protect the Damn Goalies

Finally, it's come to my attention that the entire new slate of NHL rules has been implemented to physically and mentally torment the goalies who dominated the dead puck era.

Quoting the great Dr. Cox from Scrubs: "You stole my moment ... and you will pay!"

Goalies are restricted from handling the puck in the corners. They're facing more odd-man rushes thanks to the elimination of the two-line pass. Their defensemen are dead-tired in their own zone, both from chasing around free-skating forwards and because they can't make a change after an icing call.

But the most damage comes from the unchecked runs offensive players are taking at goaltenders — free to crash the net because defensive players are scared that if they sneeze on a forward, they're going to the penalty box.

As Devils goalie Marty Brodeur told TSN (hereby known as "The Canadian Sports Network That Didn't Hire Eklund"), "The forwards are really taking advantage of this right now. They know everybody now can be a tough guy in front of the net. You don't pay the price anymore. That used to be a tough job, standing in front of the net, but now everybody can go. And they're taking liberties."

Why Brodeur is even complaining about this, I don't know. It's not his game, according the Bettman and the NHL. If it were, they would have marketed Marty and Dominik Hasek and CuJo and Chris Pronger and all of the other defensive stars that were the best in the sport during the last decade, rather than focusing attention on offensive players that were pale imitations of the stars from the 1980s. (And one star from the 1980s who was marketing because he came back from cancer.) Now the rules have been changed to ensure the most talent-laden position in this generation of The Game, goalies, is no longer dominant. They might as well just play with the Score-O board in front of the net.

Ironic, isn't it, that when the NFL wanted to increase offense, it did all it could to protect the health of its quarterbacks, but when the NHL wanted to increase offense, it put a death warrant out on its most vital defensive players?

Such is the "new" NHL.

Greg Wyshynski is the Features Editor for SportsFan Magazine in Washington, DC, and the Senior Sports Editor for The Connection Newspapers of Northern Virginia. His book "Glow Pucks and 10-Cent Beer: The 101 Worst Ideas in Sports History" will be published in Spring 2006. His columns appear every Saturday on Sports Central. You can e-mail Greg at [email protected].

Posted by Greg Wyshynski at 5:15 PM | Comments (0)

Preseason Sweet 16 Power Rankings

Midnight Madness has again come and gone, and that means one thing — pretty soon, Dickie V. will be shouting all over the airwaves and the Cameron Crazies will be plastered on ESPN. Everybody was raving about Duke this summer and it's hard to argue with the talent they have coming back. But it remains to be seen if J.J. Reddick and Shelden Williams can win the big one.

Meanwhile, Texas Longhorn fans will be aiming for a double-dip of national titles, showing Austin is not a football-only town, while the Spartans, the boys from Tucson, and Rick Pitino's crew all have a valid shot at cutting down the nets in Indianapolis. Here is an early look at my preseason Sweet 16 power rankings. (Note: Not necessarily the teams predicted to make the Sweet 16, but the top 16 in the nation).

1) Duke — Coach K may be using that AMEX of his to buy another banner to hang in Cameron Indoor, and the Blue Devils have the best roster on paper. It's time that J.J. Reddick and Shelden Williams step up and get this team to the title game or else both legacies in Durham will be forever tainted. Guys like Sean Dockery, Greg Paulus, DeMarcus Nelson, and Josh McRoberts will try and make sure that doesn't happen.

2) Texas — It was tempting to put the Longhorns in the No. 1 slot, but they also lack the ability to make it to the big game. They have the bodies to bang and one of the top guards in the nation in Daniel Gibson. If they can survive the rugged Big 12 schedule (and an early December matchup with Duke at the Meadowlands), UT can book their reservations at the RCA Dome. Brad Buckman, LaMarcus Aldridge, and P.J. Tucker will be essential to a new Longhorn tradition of dominance on the hardwood.

3) Oklahoma — Taj Gray and Kevin Bookout return to a Sooner lineup that surprised many last season. A possible Red River Showdown looms in the Big 12 title game, with the winner getting the upper hand on a possible No. 1 seed. JUCO transfers Michael Neal and Chris Walker look to give OU even more depth and firepower to compete with Texas.

4) Michigan State — The Spartans return a solid trio in Shannon Brown, Paul Davis, and Drew Neitzel, and are back to show last year's Final Four run wasn't a fluke. They have one of the best coaches in the game with Tom Izzo and it wouldn't be surprising to see them back in the national semifinals next April.

5) Louisville — Taquan Dean takes over as head Cardinal with Francisco Garcia's departure to the NBA. If transfer David Padgett from Kansas and Juan Palacios can heal quickly, Louisville will make a huge statement upon entering the Big East.

6) Arizona — Mustafa Shakur, Hassan Adams, and Chris Rodgers key Lute Olson's Wildcat squad this year, with Adams brining perhaps the most athletic game in the country. On a year when Stanford, Washington, and UCLA could all be down, the Wildcats should take another Pac-10 title.

7) Villanova — Maybe the deepest team outside of Tobacco Road, the Wildcats of Villanova are out to prove that last year's run wasn't an aberration. Allen Ray, Kyle Lowry, and Randy Foye will be the backbone of Philly's best squad outside of the Wachovia Center, and the play of Mike Nardi, Curtis Sumpter, and Jason Fraser will be essential to carry this team throughout the new and improved Big East.

8) UConn — If Marcus Williams was definitely coming back to Storrs this winter, UConn would be a definite top-three team. Even with the point guard slot in doubt, Rudy Gay, Josh Boone, Rashad Anderson, and Denham Brown give the Huskies as viable a shot as any team to take home another title. Coach Jim Calhoun simply knows how to win, and if the ship is righted at Uconn, then expect the Huskies to rise quickly.

9) Gonzaga — Adam Morrison comes in with more hype this season than perhaps any other Gonzaga player since their late-'90s rebirth, but he will need assistance from J.P. Batista and Derek Raivio to get past the tougher competition outside of the WCC.

10) Boston College — Jared Dudley and Craig Smith make the move to the ACC and will quickly find out what it means to hoop it up against the best of the Tar Heel State. Some early season wins will be essential, not only for confidence but to show the rest of the league that they are for real, or else the Eagles could experience what schools like Virginia, Florida State, and Clemson know all too well.

11) Kentucky — Does Tubby Smith's bunch have another classic in them? After last season's heartbreaking loss to MSU, the Wildcats look to erase the sour taste of defeat and reclaim their spot as a national powerhouse. Rajon Rondo, Patrick Sparks, and Ramel Bradley will light it up, making Ashley Judd and the rest of the fans who bleed Kentucky Blue very happy in Lexington.

12) Memphis — All people seem to remember last year from Memphis basketball is Darius Washington lying on the floor after a crushing defeat in the conference championship game. Many of the big guns of Conference USA have bolted to the Big East, though, so Washington, Rodney Carney, and Joey Dorsey should have no problem getting that automatic berth to the tourney this year.

13) Wake Forest — The Demon Deacons could be Duke's biggest challenge in the ACC this year and Eric Williams and Justin Gray will be looked upon to provide monster seasons to carry this team deep into the tournament. They fall just a notch below though the elite teams in the country right now.

14) Illinois — What goes up must come down and Illini fans might learn that very quickly this year. If Dee Brown can come back healthy, this team might have a "fighting" shot at repeating as Big 10 champs.

15) Syracuse — Hakim Warrick takes his high-flying act to the NBA this year, but Gerry McNamara and Terrence Roberts want to show that the Orange have one more big run in them. Coach Jim Boeheim loves freshman Eric Devendorf, while the Carrier Dome remains one of the toughest places to play in all of college hoops. That home court advantage will be needed against the other Beasts of the Big East.

16) West Virginia — Maybe last season was a fluke, but Kevin Pittsnogle is back to show that the Mountaineers can maintain against the best their conference has to offer. Balance and head-smart basketball will keep them alive in every game and if they can get some more of that Pittsnogle-magic towards the end, WVU could be trying on the glass slipper once again in April.

Five to Watch

Maryland, Indiana, Kansas, Nevada, Washington

Posted by Seth Berkman at 3:44 PM | Comments (4)

Chris Burke Gets it Right

"Normal people practice things until they get them right. Great people practice things until they can't get them wrong."

That was Chris Burke's senior yearbook quote. Postseason hero Chris Burke. Toast of Houston Chris Burke. And while high school yearbook quotes don't often define people, this one comes pretty close.

We went to the same grade school and high school, Chris Burke and I. St. Albert the Great and St. Xavier High School in Louisville, KY. He was three years ahead of me. I didn't really know him, but I knew he was a baseball player. I think most people did.

And I came to know something else, too. He lived that yearbook quote. On the basketball court in high school, where he played point guard just to get in shape for baseball season and ended up becoming a star. At Tennessee, where he became an All-American and led the Vols to a College World Series berth. And with the Houston Astros, the team that made him the tenth overall pick in the 2001 MLB draft.

I didn't see all the sweat and practice, of course. But I knew, looking back at that quote, that Chris Burke had his eye on that second category. The great category.

And that's why it was no surprise that last Sunday, in the longest game in post-season history, in the kind of situation he'd been preparing for his whole career, Chris Burke didn't get it wrong.

He had come off the bench earlier in the game as a pinch-runner. And now, in the bottom of the 18th inning, with the score still tied, Burke stepped to the plate. He said he thought about bunting. But once the count went to 2-0, he looked fastball. He got it, he turned on it, and he sent a rocket into the left field seats. He rounded the bases amid pandemonium. He jumped to home plate from five feet away. I'm surprised he landed.

And maybe he didn't. Burke has stayed hot. He belted a pinch-hit homerun in Game 1 of the NLCS, then delivered a triple, an RBI single, and three runs in Game 2. He's been the Astros hottest hitter, and even though he was part of a platoon in left field, he's making a pretty strong case to crack the lineup every day from here on out.

That's what was always supposed to happen. Burke put up big numbers in the minor leagues. Baseball America named him the Astros' top prospect before this season. Many a pundit tabbed him as a safe pick for Rookie of the Year. But Burke, who had played mostly second base in the minors, faced an uphill battle once Craig Biggio moved from the outfield back to second base. Burke switched to the outfield, even though he'd rarely played there in the past. He struggled early on and even headed back to Triple A in June.

But he found his way back and stuck around because he's a solid defender and because he has good speed. People didn't know the other reason until the limelight cast its glow — the kid works hard. Just like the quote says. Houston veterans raved about him in post-game interviews Sunday, saying you always hope a guy like Chris Burke could get that hit.

Some are calling Burke an unlikely hero. I guess that's true, considering the limited action he saw and the ordinary numbers he put up.

But he's not an unlikely hero for me. I'd seen him drill clutch free throws on the basketball court. Seen the focus in his eyes on the baseball field. Heard about the strict diet he created for himself to stay in optimum shape. Watched him bide his time, just waiting for a chance. A chance he finally got Sunday.

Maybe most of all, I read that quote. And knew that Chris Burke believed it.

Posted by William Geoghegan at 3:18 PM | Comments (0)

Soap Operas Run Rampant in AFC

If you have a teenager at home, it is hard not to recognize the similarities between a diatribe ragging, hormonal, hate-spewing, spastic child and an NFL team. You never know with either one of them what you're going to get and just when you think you found something to pacify and motivate, you know it is, at best, fleeting. With that said, here is my guess at what exactly is happening with five AFC teams.

If the Kansas City Chiefs were a repeat drug offender spending more time in prison than not, society would sentence them to life for not being able to cope. It is that bad, folks. After signing big-name defensive free agents Patrick Surtain and Sammy Night amongst others, the Chiefs still can't tackle the old lady who fell and couldn't get up. People, they blew a 24-6 lead at home against the Eagles. I don't care if they were playing a team of super bionic apes, that is inexcusable.

The New England Patriots aren't going to do it this year. I've seen this before. They're champs, they play hard, and they have no die in them. The only problem in winning three Super Bowls in four years is the punishment every team in the league is putting on you.

Ask the '96 Dallas Cowboys. The same team that went 12-4 and won at the time an unprecedented third Super Bowl in four years couldn't win another one. That year, they finished 10-6 and lost in the divisional playoffs to the Carolina Panthers. The Patriots have taken a beating worse than George Bush's credibility. The team has lost big-time leaders Rodney Harrison and Teddy Bruschi and has suffered a plethora of other injuries. It's back to wait until next year, Boston.

Surely, any diehard believer of creationism must be a Pittsburgh Steelers fan. No matter how much evidence proving that they can't win is thrown at them, they just keep on believing. Last year, it was rookie quarterback Ben Roethlisberger who led the team to a 15-1 record. Don't tell the Steelers that man evolved from ape because they will be the first to tell you anything is possible.

This year, despite losing top running backs Jerome Bettis and Deuce Staley for the start of the season, Pittsburgh has continued right were they left off with an unstoppable running attack thanks to Willie Parker. But before you discredit carbon dating, remember that the Steelers still have Cincinnati coming up twice and the Colts on the road to play.

So far, the Colts are proving that they finally got the answer right — defense wins championships. Indianapolis is giving up a smelt 5.8 points per game, but the Colts haven't done anything yet. Yeah, Peyton Manning probably will be fine. Let's not forget he is completing 66% of his passes. But if the Patriots are the champs until they fall, then the Colts are the chumps until they beat New England.

Finally, Brian Billick, control your team. What are you, some dope-head father who is afraid to talk to his kid about pot? You're the coach and if your team manages to get 21 penalties and multiple ejections in one game, then you need to hide the needles. I don't think your team will stop playing for you if you tell them that actions becoming of an L.A. riot are not appropriate NFL decorum. There, that wasn't so hard.

Posted by Gary Geffen at 2:57 PM | Comments (1)

October 14, 2005

Latinos Take Center Stage in Playoffs

Quick, name the first person of color to play in the major leagues. I bet you guessed Jackie Robinson, but you'd be wrong. The first man of color to play in Major League Baseball was Louis Castro, a Colombian who played 42 games for the Philadelphia Athletics in 1902. As a matter of fact, 44 other Latin players played before 1947, the year of Robinson's debut.

Latinos have come a long way in the history of Major League Baseball and have contributed a substantial amount to the growth of the game. They have been able to overcome racism and ignorance among owners, scouts, fellow players, and fans. They've lived through the culture shock of being a displaced immigrant and fought through language barriers. They've endured the stereotypes of being hotheads, show-offs, flashy, dumb, and slow. They've also played through tiny contracts and even smaller signing bonuses while less talented American players got multimillion dollar deals.

Latinos are the largest minority group in the United States. In another example of sports reflecting society, Latinos are now the largest minority in Major League Baseball, as well. According to the Institute for Diversity and Ethics in Sport, Latinos made up 26% of major league rosters in 2004. African-Americans accounted for only 9%. Of that 26% of Latinos, half come from the Dominican Republic.

The hunger and motivation for the Latin baseball player is very similar to that of the African-American inner-city basketball player. Players from countries like the Dominican Republic live in a terrible cycle of poverty and are desperate to get out. In the Dominican Republic, for example, 80% of the population of eight million lives in poverty. Baseball presents a tiny ray of faint hope in the eyes of a vast majority of male youth in Latin countries like the Dominican.

In the early years, it was men like Hall of Fame pitcher Juan Marichal of the San Francisco Giants that paved the way for today's Latin stars. Marichal remains the only Dominican ever elected to the Hall of Fame. Felipe, Matty, and Jesus Alou all broke into the big leagues with the Giants, as well, to have fantastic major league careers. Other Latin pioneers included White Sock Saturnino 'Minnie' Minoso, San Francisco and New York Giant Orlando Cepeda, Minnesota Twin Tony Oliva, and Pittsburgh Pirate great Roberto Clemente.

The road to the major leagues has never been easy for any player. But Latin players have faced more obstacles than the average player. Latin journalist Marcos Breton's book about Miguel Tejada's path to fame, Away Games, talks about the boatload signing technique of major league franchises. It was and is common practice for many major league franchises to use Latin players as cheap labor to fill out minor league rosters. Players would sign minimal contracts and would have virtually no longevity with any given team. Felipe Alou, for example, signed his first contract with the Giants in the 1950s for $200.

But over time and after seeing the successes of greats like the Alou's, Cepeda's, and Clemente's of the '50s and '60s, baseball franchises began setting up academies in the Caribbean to try to find and develop the next Latin star player. Many were set up in the Dominican Republic. In the 1980s, teams like the Los Angeles Dodgers, Oakland Athletics, and Blue Jays all set up academies to recruit islanders.

These academies would drill players, as young as 17-years-old, at the fundamentals of the game. The best players would be sent on to the minor leagues in America. The academies provided food, shelter, access to sanitary living, and English lessons to hopeful prospects.

The products of that investment were substantial. The Dodgers alone produced major leaguers like Mariano Duncan, Pedro Guerrero, Ramon and Pedro Martinez, Raul Mondesi, and Juan Guzman.

Fast-forward to today's game of baseball. After years of struggling to gain a foot-hold in major league baseball, Latino players are now revitalizing and energizing the game. Along with the growth in number of Latin players has come a substantial growth in the contracts of some of the Latin superstars.

Dominican shortstop and 2002 AL MVP winner Miguel Tejada began his career by signing a contract with the Athletics for $2,000. This season, in sharp contrast, Tejada made $11 million. Boston outfielder Manny Ramirez signed the second $200 million dollar contract in sports history. And Sammy Sosa has been taking in more than $10 million a year since 2000.

In the past decade, baseball and its fans have enjoyed the influx of an unprecedented number of great players coming from the Caribbean islands of the Dominican Republic, Cuba, and Puerto Rico, as well as South American countries like Venezuela and Colombia. If you want any proof, just take a look at this year's playoff rosters. The playoffs are where the best of baseball come to compete, and this year, it's filled with up-and-coming and established Latino superstars.

In the AL, the Chicago White Sox have two Cuban-born pitchers in El Duque and Jose Contreras. They were two of the biggest reasons for their sweep of Boston.

Boston had the two-headed Dominican monster of David Ortiz and Manny Ramirez, both of which are worthy of the MVP award this season.

Anaheim has two all-star Dominicans of their own in Vladamir Guerrero and Bartolo Colon. Colon is up for the Cy Young and Vlad is in the running for his second straight MVP award. The Angels also have a shutdown Venezuelan closer, Francisco 'K-Rod' Rodriguez, and a Colombian short stop in Orlando Cabrera. Two other Angels, 22-year-old starter Dominican Ervin Santana, and Puerto Rican catcher Bengie Molina were both heroes of the win over the Yankees.

The Yankees have the legendary Panamanian closer Mariano Rivera, who has to be a first ballot Hall-of-Famer. Third baseman choke-artist, err ... most overpaid player, err ... Alex Rodriguez was raised in Miami, but also has Dominican roots.

In the NL, the Cardinals have a dominant MVP candidate and Dominican Albert Pujols and another Dominican, the ultimate utility man, Abraham Nunez.

The Braves have another MVP candidate and a seven-time Gold Glove award-winner in Andruw Jones, who hails from the Caribbean island of Curacao. Atlanta also has a Dominican legend — the timeless Julio Franco. Franco won the batting title in 1991 and is still going strong at 47. The Braves also employ the services of Dominican shortstop, Rafael Furcal.

And Houston has the speedy Dominican outfielder Willy Tavarez, who most experts claim is the fastest man in baseball. He also may be the rookie of the year in the NL.

After years of neglect, baseball is finally recognizing the importance of the contributions of Latin players to its sport. This season. Major League Baseball is allowing fans to vote on a "Latino Legends" team. Fans can choose from 60 Latino players representing seven different countries and territories in Latin America and the Caribbean. The team of 12 will be announced during Game 4 of the World Series.

In honor of this event, I have compiled an all-star team of current Latino players for your enjoyment. Have fun with it and come up with your own.

C — Ivan "Pudge" Rodriguez (Puerto Rico) — The man is a legend. He is one of the best defensive catchers in MLB history and has a storied history at the plate: .304 batting average with 264 HRs and 1050 RBIs in his career.

Honorable mention: Vic Martinez (Venezuela); Benji Molina (Puerto Rico)

DH — David "Big Papi" Ortiz (Dominican Republic) — One of the hottest hitters in the sport for three straight years. Since 2003, Ortiz has 119 homers and 388 RBIs.

1B — Albert Pujols (Dominican Republic) — The numbers from his first five years in the league put him among baseball's elite, with names like Ted Williams, Joe DiMaggio, and Mickey Mantle.

2B — Alfonso Soriano (Dominican Republic) — Soriano is redefining the second base position, bringing power to a once weak hitting position. Has hit over 30 homers in three of the last four years and 100 RBIs in two of the last four.

Honorable mention: Jose Vidro (Puerto Rico); Luis Castillo (Dominican)

SS — Miguel Tejada (Dominican Republic) — Tejada was the MVP of the AL in 2002. Tejada has continued to post MVP-caliber numbers since then totaling 87 homers the last three years.

Honorable mention: Edgar Renteria (Colombia); Orlando Cabrera (Colombia)

3B — Adrian Beltre (Dominican Republic) — Forget this season, even though it wasn't as bad as most people think, .255 BA, 19 HR, 87 RBI. Last season, he proved what he could do, hitting .334 with 48 home runs and 121 RBI.

OF — Manny Ramirez (Dominican), Vladimir Guererro (Dominican), Andruw Jones (Curacao) — Let's put it this way ... how would you like to be a pitcher facing this outfield?

Honorable mention: Bobby Abreu (Venezuela); Carlos Beltran (Puerto Rico); Carlos Lee (Panama)

Starting Pitching — Pedro Martinez (Dominican), Bartolo Colon (Dominican), Livan Hernandez (Cuba), Carlos Zambrano (Venezuela), Esteban Loaiza (Mexico) — Three Cy Young awards among the group.

Closer — Mariano Rivera (Panama) — Possibly the greatest closer in the history of the game, without a doubt the greatest in postseason history. Has 379 career saves, and six 40+ save seasons.

Honorable mention: Francisco "K-Rod" Rodriguez (Venezuela); Armando Benitez (Dominican)

Future Stars — Mariners pitcher Felix Hernandez (Venezuela) — He could win Rookie of the Year in the AL this year. He had only four wins for a bad team, but he had 77 strikeouts in 83 innings.

Honorable mention: Reds outfielder Willy Mo Pena (Dominican); Marlins outfielder Miguel Cabrera (Venezuela)

Posted by Chris Cornell at 7:57 PM | Comments (1)

USC vs. Notre Dame: The Preview

Everywhere you look around the college landscape right now, this much is apparent. Notre Dame/USC is the game of the weekend. Possibly even the game of the year.

This type of hype reminds me an awful lot of 1999, when Star Wars: Episode 1 was coming out. All you ever heard or saw on the airwaves was the return of the master, George Lucas, and his epic story of good versus evil and how it would smash every conceivable record known to man. Funny thing happened — the movie never lived up to the hype.

I have a sneaking suspicion this game won't, either.

Don't get me wrong. This game holds the most significance this series has seen since 1988. Notre Dame is relevant again and ranked in the top 10. Charlie Weis, the demi-god who stormed into South Bend on his Golden Chariot from the great northeast, will finally exorcise the demon that is USC, so say the prophets who wear the green and gold.

And what's not to like? He has turned Brady Quinn into a legitimate Heisman contender. The motion offense he has brought to the Golden Domers' offense has made them virtually unstoppable and exciting to watch again. This NFL-style offense is taking on a very suspect pass defense that has been tested all season. And pundits from around the country declare that Notre Dame will bring down the mighty Trojans in much the same way they ended UCLA's epic 88-game winning streak in college basketball.

Only one small problem. USC is good. Really good. I mean really, really good.

Let's not forget this is the same offense that took apart, filleted, and feasted on Bob Stoop's Oklahoma defense in the Orange Bowl this year. I have news for you — that defense was a whole lot better than what the Trojans will be facing this Sunday.

I can hear Notre Dame nation crying in protest now. Look who we beat! We went into the Big House and took care of the fifth-ranked team in the country. That's great. Only problem is, Michigan is nowhere near as good as everyone thought. As a matter of fact, none of Notre Dame's opponents have actually played up to their preseason rankings. Purdue has looked pedestrian, Michigan State is schizophrenic, and Pitt lost to a Division 1-AA team, for crying out loud.

But ... but ... look at what USC has done in three straight weeks against inferior teams. Granted, last week's Arizona game was a bit of a head-scratcher. But USC was caught in a typical trap game. They came off of an emotional win against a fired-up Arizona St. team and were probably looking past Arizona. And let's not forget ... USC did not squeak by Arizona. No team that amasses over 700 yards on offense and wins by three touchdowns squeaks by in victory.

While I will admit that USC has come out very sluggish in the first half in recent weeks, let's not overlook the complete dismantling they have put on teams in the second half. They have outscored three division teams by a combined 98-21 in the second half in three straight games. They beat Oregon, possibly the second best team in their conference, on the road, by 20+ points and took Arizona State's best shot and still won handily.

Let's not forget that SC has a bulls-eye squarely planted on their back every week. Every team they play will give them everything they have. This is those teams' National Championship Game. And guess what ... USC takes their best shot like a bored prize fighter, decides they are done playing up to the crowd, and delivers a decisive knockout blow that most of these teams don't see coming.

Will Notre Dame give USC a good game? In the first half, I am sure of it. Notre Dame is in the top 10 in passing and will be able to move the ball against the 82nd-ranked passing defense. Conversely, Notre Dame's defense is ranked 114th against the pass and 31st against the run. USC will score early and often. It will be a battle of attrition in the first half. But USC's balanced attack will eventually wear down this Notre Dame defense. And USC's defense will make a couple of key stops and begin to pull away. Then the rout will be on.

So, this most publicized game between two storied schools will go the way of most over-hyped productions. A lot of glitz ... a lot of glamour ... but ultimately, not a whole lot of substance.

In the end? USC 52, Notre Dame 27.

Posted by Derek Daggett at 6:17 PM | Comments (3)

Toughest Schedules Down the Stretch

Now that the college football season has reached its mid-way point, the schedule for the rest of the year becomes very crucial for many teams attempting to reach bowl eligibility.

Two schools have already attained the minimum of six Division-1 wins, Penn State and Virginia Tech, but have games remaining against both strong and weak teams. Another 15 teams need just one more win to be eligible for postseason play and should be able to pickup at least that many victories in their remaining five or six games.

But which schools have the toughest road to Bowl Land? A very basic formula indexing each team's remaining schedule reveals a number of middle-of-the-pack teams face the most formidable opponents down the stretch. The index ranged from a low of minus-22.67 (Florida International) to a high of 17.63, with 28 teams indexing at a 10 or higher. Some of the top teams have some pretty tough schedules, such as Texas (6th strongest), USC (15th) and California (22nd).

Other teams who are struggling a bit this year probably won't make the six wins needed for bowl eligibility based on their remaining schedules. Cincinnati's schedule is the 14th toughest, Washington's is 25th, and Illinois's is 27th.

Here, then, are the five toughest schedules for the rest of this college football season, starting with number five.

Kansas State (15.97)

Remaining schedule: at Texas Tech, vs. Texas A&M, vs. Colorado, at Iowa State, at Nebraska, vs. Missouri.

While the Big 12 might not be as strong from top to bottom as it usually is, that is if you listen to the "experts," there are more teams with winning records at this point than there seems to have been in years past. None of the opponents remaining on the Wildcats' schedule have a losing record. In fact, two have lost only once (Colorado and Nebraska), and Texas Tech is undefeated and has the top scoring offense in the country. Even Iowa State and Missouri are above .500 so far. If K-State wants to get back to the Big 12 title game, they'll have to fight through the meat of the conference to do so. Lucky for them, they don't have to play Texas.

Maryland (16.14)

Remaining schedule: vs. Virginia Tech, at Florida State, at North Carolina, vs. Boston College, at North Carolina State.

With the addition of Miami and Virginia Tech last year, and Boston College this year, the ACC has gotten nothing but stronger, as the rest of the conference can attest. But it's believed that the "great" ones elevate their game to a higher level when pushed by a more worthy opponent. The rest of the Terrapins' schedule has them taking on three top-15 teams in Virginia Tech, Florida State, and Boston College. The only blemish on the schedule that makes it a little weaker than it could be is the trip to Chapel Hill — the Tar Heels are just 2-3 thus far.

Minnesota (17.04)

Remaining schedule: vs. Wisconsin, vs. Ohio State, at Indiana, vs. Michigan State, at Iowa.

Yikes! Is the Big 10 loaded this year or what? Everyone but Purdue (surprising) and Illinois (not surprising) is at or above .500 — even Indiana is 4-1 so far. The good news for the Golden Gophers is that the three toughest of the remaining opponents have to play them in their house. They've already gone to Happy Valley (a loss) and the Big House (a win), and having to go to Wisconsin, Ohio State, and Michigan State would make things even worse than they are. But road trips to Indiana and Iowa make it seem a little more manageable as far as trying to take the conference crown.

Washington State (17.12)

Remaining schedule: vs. UCLA, at California, at Southern Cal, vs. Arizona State, vs. Oregon, at Washington.

The poor Cougars! They really wish they'd won those first two conference games against Oregon State and Stanford. The way this schedule shapes up, they might not win a conference game this year. Possible upsets could be UCLA or Oregon at home, but the way they've played the past couple of weeks, don't bet the farm on the underdog. And sure, the Huskies are not very good again, but the Cougs might either be too beat up or too demoralized to make the Apple Cup the blowout it should be.

With only two of their three wins qualifying toward bowl eligibility, the cry in the Palouse will be "wait until next year" again. Whoever made up this schedule must have either thought WSU would be better or didn't like them very much.

Oklahoma State (17.63)

Remaining schedule: at Texas A&M, at Iowa State, vs. Texas, vs. Texas Tech, at Baylor, at Oklahoma.

This schedule is brutal. The only consolation the Cowboys have is they get to play the two best teams in the conference at home (Texas and Texas Tech). And, if Oklahoma returns to the form everyone expected this year, this schedule gets even tougher. Okie State is in about the same predicament ole' Wazzu is: one of their three wins is against a 1-AA school and they've lost both their conference games. Maybe wins come at Iowa State and Baylor, but the prospects aren't looking all that good for a run at the Big 12 title.

The rest of the toughest: 6. Texas (15.67); 7. Baylor (15.63); 8. Texas A&M (15.50); 9. Oklahoma (14.80); 10. Stanford (14.74); 11. Pittsburgh (14.52); 12. Florida (14.24); 13. Colorado (13.93); 14. Cincinnati (13.53); 15. Southern Cal (13.26); 16. Indiana (13.13); 17. Iowa (12.40); 18. Michigan (21.38); 19. Kansas (12.36); 20. Missouri (12.07).

Posted by Adam Russell at 5:51 PM | Comments (2)

NASCAR Top 10 Power Rankings: Week 30

Note: the quotes in this article are fictional.

1. Tony Stewart — Stewart followed up his runner-up finish at Talladega with a smooth fourth at Kansas, which extended his points lead considerably, from a narrow four points to a safe 75-point cushion. While dealing with an electrical problem throughout the race, Stewart still managed to lead a lap for the all-important five bonus points.

"And the end of the Chase," says Stewart, "I'm hoping to cash in those bonus points for my second Cup title, as well as a few free air miles."

Stewart won't make the mistake of "sitting on his lead," and will continue to attack. With 21 top-10s in 30 starts, it's very rare to find Stewart outside of the top 10. He only finished 24th this spring in the Coca Cola 600, but soon after that, went on the tear that vaulted him to the top of the points.

2. Ryan Newman — Newman stumbled to a 23rd-place finish, fighting a non-responsive car all day. However, he held on to the number two position in the points, but lost 71 points to Stewart. Sunday started off on a bad note for Newman, as he started from the back of the field after changing a transmission. Then, on lap 16, Newman was collected in a spin, and his car suffered front fender damage.

"We've got a name for that kind of luck in this business," says Newman. "It's called 'Kurt Busch' luck, when things go from bad to worse."

Newman won the pole this May in Charlotte, and followed up with a fifth at the checkered flag. He would definitely enjoy a replay of that weekend.

3. Greg Biffle — Biffle's runner-up finish in Kansas moved him past Rusty Wallace and Jimmie Johnson to number three in the points. Biffle led 47 laps on his way to his 12th top-five of the year, second only to Stewart's 15, and shaved 10 points off his deficit to Stewart.

"Not bad for a car I wrecked in Charlotte while testing," says Biffle. "Now that's what I call 'shaking a car down.'"

Biffle finished 33rd in Charlotte last fall, but scored a sixth there this spring. With only two top ten finishes thus far in the Chase, he can't complain about his points position. An ideal finish at Charlotte would be one with Stewart in his rear mirror.

4. Rusty Wallace — Wallace finished seventh in Kansas, a bittersweet result since all six drivers ahead of him are in the Chase, therefore he gained ground on only Kurt Busch, Jeremy Mayfield, and Ryan Newman. With Mark Martin's win, Wallace is now the only driver in the Chase without a victory this year.

"This is NASCAR," says Wallace. "You don't need to win to be champion. A lot of the guys out here are winners, but there not champions. Like my boy, Ryan Newman."

Wallace finished 10th this spring in Charlotte, and has two wins in his career at the Concorn, NC track. With a good result in Charlotte, Wallace can head to Martinsville, one of his favorite tracks, with the momentum to make a serious push in the points.

5. Mark Martin — Martin bagged his first win of the year, and first since the June 2004 race in Dover, with a convincing victory in Kansas. Martin led 139 of 267 laps, and led a Roush Racing sweep of the top three spots, with Tony Stewart finishing fourth to deny a top-four sweep. Martin cut 25 points into Stewart's points lead, and moved up two positions to seventh.

"Have I made up my mind whether I'm returning to race next year?" asks Martin. "I don't even remember. But this win might be enough to convince me to stay. I've still got it."

Martin won this year's all-star race in Charlotte, so the blueprint to that victory should be fresh in his mind.

6. Jimmie Johnson — Johnson finished sixth, and, like Wallace, gained no ground on Tony Stewart, but did bounce back nicely from his 31st in Talladega, and now heads to his favorite track in Charlotte.

"But most importantly," says Johnson, "I wasn't wrongly accused of causing any wrecks. At 190 miles per hour, nose to tail, three wide, one hand on the wheel, and the other hand giving someone the finger, can you honestly tell who was at fault in a situation like that?"

In last year's Chase, Johnson won in Charlotte, then followed that by sweeping to victory in the next two races. If there ever was a time to make a move, this is it for Johnson.

7. Carl Edwards — Edwards earned his third consecutive top-10 of the Chase, and maintained his hold of sixth in the points, 95 short of Stewart. He was third in line of a 1-2-3 Roush finish, as Jack's team reestablished their influence on the Chase.

"Was there ever any doubt that we would bounce back?" asks Edwards. "If we can pull off a Roush 1-2-3 sweep in all of the next six races, one of us is bound to catch Stewart."

Can Edwards continue his hot streak? Odds are good — he finished third in May in his first Cup race in Charlotte. He's raced his way into contention in the last three weeks.

8. Matt Kenseth — Kenseth was the fourth of four Roush driver in the top five, finishing fifth and leading 71 laps after starting from the pole. He made waves in the Roush camp by refusing, while leading, to allow teammates Biffle and Edwards to pass to collect five bonus points.

"Look," says Kenseth, "I admitted I was wrong. Let's just say it was a forced apology. I don't want to rock the boat, but I believe there is a place for charity, and the race track is not that place, teammate or not."

Kenseth is still trying to recover from his 35th at Dover. A few more top fives should do the trick.

9. Jeremy Mayfield — What's Mayfield's lucky number? Could it be 16? Possibly, because he just scored his second 16th-place finish of the Chase, to go along with a 14th and a seventh. Where's all that taking him?

"Nowhere, fast," replies Mayfield.

That's right. Mayfield dropped to ninth in the points, 157 out of first, and is trailed only by Kurt Busch, 224 back. In May, Mayfield finished fourth in Charlotte. To establish himself as a viable contender, he needs a finish no worse than that, and hope those ahead in the points have miserable days.

10. Kurt Busch — Can Busch's luck get any worse? A week after a flat tire cost him the lead at Talladega, lightning struck again as a flat on lap 77 dropped him a lap down into 39th position. Although he battled back to finish 14th, Busch lost ground to everyone, and remains tenth, 224 from the lead.

"Can a driver get a little sympathy?" asks Busch.

Yeah, I guess we all feel a little sorry for you, Kurt. Wait a minute, no we don't. You still made $138,425.00. I don't consider that "bad luck."

Busch has this to look forward to: he can finish no worse than he did the last time out in Charlotte. An early wreck left him with a 43rd-place finish.

Posted by Jeffrey Boswell at 4:49 PM | Comments (0)

October 13, 2005

NFL Weekly Predictions: Week 6

Note: the quotes in this article are fictional.

Atlanta @ New Orleans

Last week, the Falcons experienced what many teams have experienced over the last four years: New England's Adam Vinatieri does not miss the clutch kick.

"I guess now you're going to tell me he has ice water in his veins," moans Falcons' coach Jim Mora. "What is he? An X-Man? A Superfriend?"

I don't know if he's a member of a crime-fighting league, but I do know his super power is the ability to kick a game-winning field goal whenever needed. And like all super heroes, he feels the need to wear tight pants when he does.

The Saints raced out to a 3-0 lead last week against the Packers, then watched helplessly as Brett Favre and the Packers scored the next 52 points.

"I guess the sympathy for the Saints is over," says Saints' coach Jim Haslett. "They had us beat at 7-3, but they had to go and tack on 45 more points. That's 45 unnecessary points. We will certainly remember kicker Ryan Longwell running up the score on us with seven extra points. Longwell, you're a marked man."

New Orleans got the double whammy when running back Deuce McAllister was lost for the season due to a torn ACL. Running backs Aaron Stecker and Antowain Smith will look to pick up the slack, but more of the burden falls on the shoulders of Saints' quarterback Aaron Brooks. And that's not good, since Brooks in the third-lowest rated QB in the NFC, with only 2 TDs and 7 INTs.

"So what?" says Brooks. "We're 1-0 in the Alamodome, site of this week's game."

Yeah, but the Saints aren't the Spurs, and the Falcons aren't the Bills, whom you beat in the A'dome. And you're not Michael Vick, although you are his cousin. Heck, you're not even Matt Schaub, Vick's backup.

The Falcons came back from their Week 2 loss against Seattle with a convincing win over Minnesota. Expect the same in response to their close loss to New England. This is Atlanta's first division game, so a win versus the easiest division opponent is imperative.

Warrick Dunn rushes for 110 yards, and T.J. Duckett adds about 50 and a touchdown against a weak Saints run defense.

Atlanta wins, 27-20.

Carolina @ Detroit

In this rematch of the 2002 Stanley Cup finals, the Eastern Conference champion Hurricanes face the Red Wings, champions of ... oh, sorry. I guess I got a little nostalgic for hockey. Thank goodness someone cross-checked me into the boards and knocked me back to my senses, and back to football.

When you win a game 35-17, shouldn't you expect something like this from your quarterback: 20-of-28, 283 yards, and 3 touchdowns?

"If you're any other coach in the league, you do," says Detroit's Steve Mariucci. "Not if you're me. If you're me, and you're not, you expect something called the 'Harrington Line.' Much like the 'Mendoza Line' in Major League Baseball,' the 'Harrington Line' serves as the boundary between mediocrity and just plain sucking. Joey was well below that line with his 10-of-23, 97 yards, and 2 INT performance."

"Hey, don't forget," adds Harrington, "I threw one touchdown pass."

Despite Harrington's performance, the Lions beat the Ravens 35-17, and thus took a commanding lead in the NFC North. Well, not as commanding as Harrington's ability at tickling the ivories of a baby grand, but a lead nevertheless.

The Panthers overcame a 20-10 deficit to the Cardinals with two fourth quarter touchdowns to win 24-20. A Jake Delhomme four-yard pass to Steve Smith was preceded by a Stephen Davis one-yard score.

"Our offense is predicated on Davis one-yard scores," says Carolina coach John Fox. "If I look in the box score on Monday and see the word 'S. Davis 1 run,' I know our offense is clicking. I also know Stephen's yards per rush average is tumbling."

The Lions are undefeated at home, 2-0, where Harrington has been erratic, at best. And with one of his starting wide receivers out and the other questionable (Charles Rogers to a drug suspension, and Roy Williams to an injured quadriceps), Harrington's targets are limited. And he'll also have Panthers defensive end Julius Peppers to deal with.

"And like many of Harrington's passes," explains Peppers, "you never know where I'll be."

Peppers sacks Harrington twice and wreaks general havoc, and the frustrated Lions QB files a harassment suit during the game. Delhomme throws two touchdown passes, and Davis stumbles across the goal line for a score.

Panthers win, 26-17.

Cincinnati @ Tennessee

Bengals receiver Chad Johnson promised that if he scored a touchdown against the Jaguars last Sunday night, he would present the football world with a celebration that would top Terrell Owen's Sharpie signing or Joe Horn's cell phone call. Johnson did score, and upon doing so, placed the football on the turf and proceeded to perform CPR on it. GONG! Sorry, Chad, that just doesn't cut it. Maybe if you had done that three years ago, it would have been cool. Now, it just seems a little forced. Now, the "Riverdance" celebration was cool. Here's an idea: go retro, and spike the ball! Does anyone do that anymore?

"Yeah, I know what a spike is," says Johnson. "It's a cable station."

Anyway, despite Johnson's TD and first aid performed on the football, the Bengals dropped their first game of the year, 23-20. They'll look to rebound against the Titans and quarterback Steve McNair, who is a vastly different QB than the Bengals' Carson Palmer.

"I always admired McNair's toughness," says Palmer. "He's not afraid of contact. I remember, as a teen, watching some of his games at Acorn State. He did it all. He passed, he ran, and he had some pretty slick moves as the marching band's tuba player. I always wanted to be like him, until I realized I don't like to take hits."

"Those are some kind words, Carson," replies McNair. "But it's Alcorn State, not Acorn State. That's like me saying you played at USC, the University of Southern Connecticut. You haven't truly arrived as a quarterback until you've played in a Super Bowl, won an MVP, dealt with an array of debilitating injuries, and beat a DWI conviction in a court of law. All those things I've done. By the way, the Irish in me says that Notre Dame will upset your USC Trojans this Saturday."

I guess Steve lathered up with Irish Spring this morning.

Palmer gets the best of McNair this time, with three touchdown passes to McNair's two. One of Palmer's TD passes goes to Chad Johnson, who stays with the medical theme and uses the ball in a simulated childbirth celebratory routine.

Bengals win, 27-20, and await the Steelers at home in Week 7 for the biggest game in Cincy in quite some time.

Cleveland @ Baltimore

Let me get this straight. The Ravens used to be the Browns, but moved from Cleveland to Baltimore? And then, Cleveland was awarded a new franchise, and the Browns were reborn? So this is the "new" Browns versus the "old" Browns?

Last week against the Lions, the Ravens were penalized 21 times for 147 yards, including ejections of linebacker Terrell Suggs and safety B. J. Ward for arguing penalties. Have the Ravens lost all semblance of discipline, or are officials out to get them?

"I have seen that much yellow since I was off to see the Wizard," say Billick. "But to answer your question, no, we are still a disciplined team. I take responsibility for my team's transgressions, especially the ejections. I guess I didn't set a very good example during practice a couple of weeks ago when I slapped a ball boy and clothes-lined a waterboy. But they deserved it. We didn't deserve 21 penalties. Maybe 17 of them were legitimate, but the others are cases of officials letting their dislike of me interfere with their jobs. This Sunday, I better see a lot fewer flags, or I'll be the one ejected."

This game will be a homecoming for Browns' quarterback Trent Dilfer, who led the Ravens to the Super Bowl XXXV crown, then was released by the Ravens, who are still searching for a quarterback.

"They just tossed me away like yesterday's news," complains Dilfer. "I tell myself every day that defense didn't win that world title. It was me. I think that feeling is slowly getting through the thick skulls of Billick and the front office."

Dilfer has been more than solid at the helm, and is ranked seventh in AFC passer rating, with 6 TDs and 4 INTs. But this Baltimore defense is mad and has a reputation to uphold, which they haven't so far this year. The Browns are without wide receiver Braylon Edwards and backup running back Lee Suggs.

The Ravens spoil Dilfer's homecoming with a 13-10 win, unless the Ravens are penalized 21 times and have two players ejected. Then I'll go with the Browns.

Jacksonville @ Pittsburgh

Last week, the Jaguars handed the Bengals their first loss of the season, and avoided going 0-2 at home. With the win, Jacksonville improved to 3-2, good for second place in the AFC South behind the 5-0 Colts.

"If you would have asked me two months ago where'd I'd like to be after five games," explains Jag front man Jack Del Rio, polishing a large button on his lapel that reads 'Jack Del Rio is One Cool Cat,' "I would have said the Bahamas, Hawaii, or maybe Monte Carlo. But since I'm stuck coaching, I guess 3-2 would have been my answer. We're in good position. Take away those two losses, and we're 5-0."

Take away those three wins, and you're 0-5.

The Jags probably won't challenge the Colts for the South title, but they are in solid contention for a playoff spot. As are the Steelers, who edged the Chargers on the road last Monday to go to 3-1, ½ game from the 4-1 Bengals. Quarterback Ben Roethlisberger left the game late with a bruised knee, and is questionable for Sunday's game. However, Jerome Bettis is back and healthy for the Steelers.

"Halleleujah!" exclaims Bill Cowher. "The Bus is back, and the Bus has got back. Have you seen the size of that guy?"

The Steelers and Jags share a philosophy of tough, inside running and brutal defense.

"Here's the difference between Cowher and myself," says Del Rio. "I can say 'philosophy' without spraying. Cowher can't."

Sunday's outcome could be similar to last year's result in Jacksonville, won by the Steelers 17-16 on a late field goal. This time, a healthy set of running backs, including Bettis, Duce Staley, and Willie Parker, give the Steelers the edge.

Pittsburgh wins, 22-19.

Miami @ Tampa Bay

Miami running back Ricky Williams makes his return to an NFL field after an absence of over two years. Incidentally, that's about the last time Williams had a clean urine sample. But, in any case, Williams is back, and coach Nick Saban is looking forward to the combination of Williams and rookie Ronnie Brown in the Dolphins' backfield.

"When we use them in tandem," says Saban, "they'll present some difficult matchup problems for defenses. They're both good receivers, and are too fast for most linebackers to cover. So, I'm anxious to put those two together on the field. Now, if they start hanging out together off the field, we've got problems."

Tampa's John Gruden and his No. 1-ranked defense are ready for the challenge.

"Let's face it," says Gruden. "There's only one way to stop Ricky Williams. And that's with nickel and dime packages. If you place them in various locations throughout the field, he will easily be distracted and lose concentration, and possibly get the munchies. That's our plan of attack for Sunday."

Brown shared backfield duties last year with the Bucs' Cadillac Williams, while both were at the University of Auburn. Williams may not play, but if he does, Tampa's offense becomes much more potent. The same is true for Miami. Establishing the running game makes life easier for quarterbacks Gus Frerotte and Brian Griese.

Last week, Buffalo's defense confused and dominated Frerotte. The Tampa defense is even better, and they will lead the Bucs to victory.

Tampa wins, 19-17.

Minnesota @ Chicago

The bye week has its advantages. The Vikings were able to enjoy a much-needed week off to recuperate and regroup after their 1-3 start. And Daunte Culpepper didn't throw a single interception during his bye week, and least none that will be added to his official and league-leading total of 10. Culpepper also used the extra week to ponder the offseason deal that sent Randy Moss to the Raiders.

"If by 'ponder' you mean 'shed tears,'" says Culpepper, "then you're right. I did ponder the trade. And I've decided that the Vikings should have kept Randy [Moss] at all costs. What's worse? Being 1-3, without Randy, and having one of the worst defenses in the league? Or having Randy, being 3-1, having one of the worst defenses in the league, and having a few minor inconveniences like Randy mooning fans, Randy leaving the field early, and Randy taking half the plays off? I think the answer in clear. Now, excuse me. I've got to talk to my agent about a trade to Oakland."

The Bears are right in the thick of the NFC North, albeit with a 1-3 record, only a game back of the 2-2 Lions. The Bears have one of the league's top rushing offenses, but one of the worst passing offenses. In fact, they barely average more passing yards than rushing yards.

"Our motto is: 'If the ball is in someone's hands, it's much safer than if it were floating aimlessly through space,'" says papa Bear Lovie Smith. "Like when Kyle Orton throws it. That's why we like to stick to the run and rely on defense."

Last week in Cleveland, fumbles were the Bears' undoing. After stifling the Browns for the entire game, the defense gave up two TD passes, as the Bears watched a 10-6 lead slip to a 20-10 loss. Against the Vikings, preventing the big play will again be paramount to the Bears' cause. The Vikings won't be able to run, so Culpepper will be passing a lot. The Bears have won their last four at home against the Vikings, and that was with Moss. This time, without Moss, the Vikes will struggle, and Bears' rookie Cedric Benson has his official coming out party against a weak Minnesota rushing defense. Besides, not a single NFC North team has won a road game.

Chicago wins a close one, 23-18. And for their efforts, the Bears win a free cruise on a Fred Smoot-chartered boat on Lake Minnetonka. Life jackets optional. Nudity required.

N.Y. Giants @ Dallas

Bill Parcells welcomes the team he led to two Super Bowls to Texas Stadium, the site of the Cowboys' 33-10 drubbing of the Eagles last week. And also the site of a heated exchange between Dallas quarterback Drew Bledsoe and wide receiver Keyshawn Johnson. Apparently, Bledsoe politely reprimanded Johnson for a fumble that the Eagles recovered and returned for a touchdown.

"All I said to Keyshawn was 'Hold on to the damn ball!'" says Bledsoe. "I didn't even yell. It must have been the way I worded it."

Here's the deal, Drew. Keyshawn is a punk. He'll get on your case all day when you make a mistake, but when someone calls him out for an error, he flips. Next time, tell him you're the NFC's top-rated passer, and if he's got a problem, tell him to take a walk on the Texas Stadium roof until he reaches the hole, and then tell him to keep walking.

The Giants boast the NFL's highest scoring offense, but that ranking was established in wins against three of the league's worst defenses (Arizona, New Orleans, and St. Louis). The Cowboys will issue a sterner test, as will the Giants' next two opponents, the Broncos and Redskins.

"Sure, we're the highest-scoring team," says New York curmudgeon Tom Coughlin. "But we're giving up about 25 a game. That's way too much too make me happy. If we gave up no points a game, I wouldn't be happy. I'm a sourpuss."

The Cowboys produce another stellar defensive effort, and slow down the Giants' attack. Bledsoe throws 3 TDs, and the Cowboys gain a second consecutive home division win.

Dallas wins, 30-21.

Washington @ Kansas City

It's the 2005 Red Man Chewing Tobacco Politically Incorrect Bowl, featuring the Redskins and the Chiefs, with the winner receiving a tract of land out west and a $20 credit to the new casino soon to be built there.

Actually, the winner just gets a "W" in the win column, which will keep the winner high on the totem pole in their respective division race.

"If the NCAA gets win of this game," says Chiefs coach Dick Vermeil, "we're finished. They might outlaw our nicknames, even though they honor Native Americans. You know it's funny. Most of the people complaining about Native American mascots aren't even Native Americans. Can't people mind their own business?"

While the Chiefs are coming off a Week 4 loss at home to the Eagles, the Redskins suffered their first defeat last week, losing 21-19 in Denver.

"I think we got more respect for that loss than we did for any of our three wins," says 'Skins quarterback Mark Brunell. "When are you people going to stop doubting Joe Gibbs? The man's got three Super Bowl rings, two turntables, and a microphone. Oh, sorry. He's only got three rings. That's all I hear in the locker room is rap music. It's getting to me. Anyway, Joe's a genius."

Once again, defense, or lack of a defense, heads the list of Chiefs' concerns. K.C. is 27th in the league in total defense.

"I've noticed our fans don't bother with the 'defense' chants," notes Chiefs' coach Dick Vermeil. "I hear the 'hold 'em to a field goal' chant quite often now."

The Chiefs enjoyed a bye week, and should be rested and healthy for the 'Skins. Look for the Chiefs to force the run, and finally get Tony Gonzalez involved in the offense. Washington's defense keeps them in it, but Kansas City pulls through with a 26-21 win.

New England @ Denver

Did I see Bill Belichick actually show a little emotion and celebrate last week after Adam Vinatieri's field goal with six seconds left beat the Falcons 31-28? He looked happier to win that game than he did any of his Super Bowl wins.

"That's just Bill," says Tom Brady. "You may have heard, but Coach showed us the Marvin Hagler/Thomas Hearns fight from 1985. I think he was still a little fired up from that. In case you didn't notice, Coach wore a mouthpiece and taped his fists for the Atlanta game."

Denver is 4-1 and clearly the class of the AFC West, if not the whole AFC. But it's only Week 6. There's plenty of time for Jake Plummer to screw all that up.

"Look," says a perturbed Mike Shanahan, turning an unhealthy shade of red, "I'm sick and tired of this Jake Plummer bashing. And I'm tired of people saying I can't win a Super Bowl without John Elway. I don't hear anyone saying Bill Belichick can't win a Super Bowl without Tom Brady. Because he hasn't. I'm sick of these double standards."

If Denver wins this game, they can rightly claim superiority in the AFC, at least until the playoffs. If New England wins, then it's safe to say the problems they encountered while losing to the Chargers have been solved.

"Problems solved," says Belichick. "I will never lose to a Mike Shanahan-coached, Jake Plummer-quarterbacked team."

The Patriots win through the air, as Brady throws two touchdown passes.

New England wins, 24-20.

N.Y. Jets @ Buffalo

With wins last week and a Miami loss, the Jets and Bills tightened the race in the AFC East with home wins led by new starters at quarterback. Vinny Testaverde is back in the cockpit for the Jets, and showed very few signs of rust while leading New York to a 14-12 win over the Bucs. Kelly Holcomb finally got the starting nod over J.P. Losman, and responded with an efficient 20-26 day, with a touchdown.

"Wow! Vinny is a lifesaver!" says Jets coach Herman Edwards. "I gave him Tuesday off. That way, he can rest his aging body, and give him a chance to pick up his Social Security check."

Buffalo won their second home game, with a key player on the bench.

"Yeah," says Buffalo coach Mike Mularkey, "that key player would be Losman. For us to win, it's 'key' that he be on the bench. And with the win, we feel that we should be declared world champs until we lose. Let me explain. The Patriots started the season as champions. They lost to the Panthers in Week 2, so the Panthers became champs. The Dolphins beat the Panthers in Week 3, thereby becoming the titleholders. And we just beat the Dolphins, so the title becomes ours. If you listen closely, you can hear boxing promoter Don King cackling like a hyena, and probably scamming some boxer out of millions in the process."

If the Jets/Bills contest were a boxing match, it would likely be twelve rounds of two boxers circling the ring, waiting for the other to make a mistake. And you may not see any punches thrown, unless someone tries to slug an umpire. But defense will rule, and Buffalo's Willis McGahee should see the ball at least 30 times. The Jets can run also, but Curtis Martin is battling a knee injury and backup Derrick Blaylock is out with an ankle injury.

Buffalo grinds to a 19-14 win.

San Diego @ Oakland

Did you hear that two of Randy Moss' childhood friends are trying to sell the ball with which he made his first touchdown catch? Moss' agent questions the ball's authenticity. Myself, I question the ball's existence. Check out Moss' homeboys' credentials: they both live with their mother in a trailer. One delivers pizza for a living; the other is unemployed. Would you anything from these guys? Heck, I wouldn't even by a pizza from them.

"Hey, I know these guys," says Moss. "If there's one thing they know, it's sales, if you catch my drift. I tried to tell those guys that eBay's not the place to sell a bogus football. If you live in a trailer with your mother, then your target audience is people who watch the Jerry Springer Show."

San Diego lost another heartbreaker last Monday, losing 24-22 on Jeff Reed's field goal as time expired. It was the Chargers second division loss, and another would be devastating to their playoff hopes.

"It really hurts lose a game like that," says San Diego coach Marty Schottenheimer, "especially when we're wearing our powder blue uniforms. It's a very soothing color — it makes you think of a little baby boy. Maybe it's not so intimidating to our opponents."

But the black and silver is intimidating, not necessarily when worn by the Raiders, but when it's on those crazy people called Raiders fans. And the Chargers have never seen the Raiders with Randy Moss. And Moss makes a difference, just ask Daunte Culpepper. Moss has two touchdowns, and Oakland wins, 27-24.

Houston @ Seattle

When attacking a defensive front, offenses usually exploit the 'A' gap or the 'B' gap. Well, what about defenses attacking an offensive line? What gaps to they go after?

"Well," says Houston coach Dom Capers, "when you're attacking my offensive line, you have a full alphabets' worth of gaps to choose from. From 'A' to 'Z,' choose your gap. Chances are, there will be a pretty big hole there. Go through that hole, and you should find my quarterback, David Carr, cringing, preparing to take another sack."

It's true, the Texans' offensive line offers Carr about as much protection as an umbrella during a volcanic eruption. Carr has been sacked 27 times so far, on pace to shatter his own NFL record of 76 times sacked in a season.

"Hey, guess what my favorite classic comic book is?" asks Carr. "Sad Sack. Most guys in the NFL can't say they have any kind of record. I can. I'm in the book. Okay, who wants my autograph?"

Seattle finally overcame their fear of beating the Rams, and stuck it to the Rams in St. Louis with a 37-31 win, putting them a game up in the NFC West with a 3-2 record.

"It just goes to show that whether he's on the field or in the booth," says Seattle's Mike Holgren, "Mike Martz can be out-coached."

Obviously, it was a big win for Seattle. They can stretch their one game lead in the West with a win at home against the league's only winless team, while the Rams must travel to Indianapolis to face the league's only undefeated team.

And that's what happens. Seattle sacks Carr six times, and Shaun Alexander scores twice.

Seahawks roll, 33-17.

St. Louis @ Indianapolis

What's the over/under on this game? About 52? Sounds reasonable. Well, I'll take the Colts, by themselves, and the over.

Then again, the Colts haven't scored more than 31 points in a game this year. They haven't needed to. The Indy defense is surrendering an average of less than six points per game. That's 29 points given up for the year. Meanwhile, the Rams' defense gives up an average of 29 points a game. So maybe the Colts won't cover the over by themselves, but they should score plenty.

Will the Rams, averaging 32 points a game, be able to keep up with the Colts' offense?

"I can tell you one thing," says Rams' quarterback Marc "55 Passes and a Cloud of Dust" Bulger. "We're not intimidated by the Colts' defense. How can you fear a team with just horseshoes on its helmets?"

Does Bulger realize he'll soon be playing the NFL's team leader in sacks, with two of the top three individual sack artists? If he doesn't, he soon will, because the speed rushes of defensive ends Dwight Freeney (5 sacks) and Robert Mathis (6 sacks) are dangerous anywhere, but lethal on the artificial turf of the RCA Dome. Last week in San Francisco, the Colts sacked 49er rookie QB Alex Smith five times, and intercepted him four times.

"Hey, let's not get down on that Smith kid," councils Colts' quarterback Peyton Manning. "He's got a bright future ahead of him. I can see him being a great mutual fund salesman, or loan officer, or assistant offensive coordinator."

Indy jumps out to a quick 14-0 lead, and the Rams, as usual, abandon the running game. Bulger, with assistant coach Joe Vitt calling the shots in Mike Martz's absence due to a heart condition, attempts 65 passes to keep pace. Bulger is an easy target for the Colts' rush when they know he's passing, and Bulger is dropped seven times.

Colts finally explode and win, 41-20.

Posted by Jeffrey Boswell at 8:21 PM | Comments (1)

Slant Pattern Blackjack: Second Edition

1. We certainly seeing quite a buzz develop as USC creeps closer and closer to defeat every week. But lose outright? Not going to happen.

2. If you're not familiar with The Onion, the absolutely brilliant satirical newspaper, you're missing out. I'm delighted to discover they've added a sports section. This week's funniest headline: "Antonio Alfonseca Once Again Leads Major-League Relievers in Fingers."

3. If anyone watches shows like World Poker Tour or the other pro poker shows and knows of Mike Matusow, is he not proof that anyone can make it to the top of the top of the poker world? Don't get me wrong, he could kick my butt from here to Sunday at the tables, but beyond that, he seems kind of dumb, doesn't he? I especially got that vibe after reading an interview with him in a poker magazine.

4. Oh yeah ... that Ben Affleck and Jennifer Tilly have won major events is already proof.

5. Getting married sure has killed Tiger's golf game, hasn't it?

6. "Better than the deed, better than the memory, the moment of anticipation." So says a suave Frenchman who woos Marge in an early episode of The Simpsons. I agree. I was climbing up and down the walls waiting for college football to start, and while I am thrilled that it's here, I am now counting down the seconds for college hoops to begin. It's not as far away as you think, as they start earlier every year. This year, we tip off the season November 8th.

7. The Coaches vs. Cancer Classic has grown into a 16-team behemoth, with the first rounds at "regional sites" (read: three schools apiece that dwell in the nether regions of Division I getting slaughtered by the major host school, thus ensuring that the semifinalists traveling to Madison Square Garden will be Syracuse, Florida, Wake Forest, and Texas Tech). Technically, the very first game of the season pits two of the weak sisters in the Syracuse Bracket against one another, Cornell and St. Francis of PA at 6 PM. You're darn right I will be watching. Thanks, ESPNU and DirecTV!

8. My Satellite provider is DirecTV and my electric company is called Conectiv. Shouldn't, then, my phone company be Phonev and my water company be Waterv?

9. The Cincinnati Bengals will finish 11-5 and make it to the AFC Championship Game.

10. Take Miami and the 5 1/2 points against Tampa Bay this week. The Bucs are running in the wrong direction.

11. How good will Michelle Wie be in 10 years if she doesn't burn out? Good enough to challenge the leaders, and not the cut line, in men's tournaments, and she shouldn't have to break up the LPGA in order to do so.

12. The U.S. Soccer team breezed through qualifying to once again make it to the World Cup. Okay, go back to bed now.

13. The Chicago White Sox will win the World Series, and next year, no one will pick them to repeat. Everyone seems to be down on them for reasons beyond me.

14. The 13,541st departing Yankee employee (pitching coach Mel Stottlemyre) rips George Steinbrenner on the way out, as he interpreted Steinbrenner's comment, "I congratulate the Angels and their manager on the great job they've done" as a thinly-veiled dig at Torre. I think Stottlemyre is right. In a perfect world, clones of Steinbrenner could be GM, manager, and all Yankee coaches at once. Then, he'd have no one to blame but himself when things went wrong. Oh wait, the players...

15. On Saturday, Penn running back Kyle Ambrogi only had five carries for 18 yards, but he made them count, scoring two touchdowns in a 53-7 win over Bucknell. On Monday, Ambrogi put a gun to his head and shot himself dead. His family said he had a history of depression.

16. Whenever I surf across ESPN and see pool being played, it's always women. Fine by me. But isn't this another sport we could stand to sex up a little? I consider myself a feminist (find me one other sportswriter who calls himself that), but beyond tennis skirts and field hockey skirts, they've put college hardwood volleyball players in daisy dukes and even softball players in shorts. There's absolutely no reason they need to wear shorty shorts for those sports, so they must exist for the benefit of male viewers. So we might as well knock out the rest of women's sports in the same vein now.

17. I'm trying to get into hockey while I have this free NHL Center Ice preview. It's not taking.

18. If you like edgy, controversial, but hilarious shows like The Family Guy and you get BBC America, check out a sketch show called Little Britain. My wife and I are addicted.

19. So nerdily excited I am about college basketball starting soon that I've actually scouted the opening Cornell/St. Francis game a bit. One of Cornell's marquee players JUCO'd in. It happens more and more every year in the Ivy League, but the weirdness of transferring from Jones County Technical College to, say, Harvard, is just amusing.

20. Brad Oremland is right, in this week's blurb of the San Francisco 49ers, about the fallacy of using "Team A beat Team B, and Team B beat Team C, so Team C must be better than Team A" logic. So why can't I stop using that logic? Help me, Brad.

21. So many teams in all sports have throwback days now, I'm just waiting for the NBA to do that and bust out the shorty shorts of my youth. Unfortunately, the NBA Players Union would probably agree to pay cuts before agreeing to wear those. I can't blame them. And I wish I had bet someone I could work "shorty shorts" into this column twice (make that three times).

Posted by Kevin Beane at 5:55 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

What Happened to the Yanks?

The 2005 postseason for the New York Yankees followed one of the most challenging of all regular seasons for manager Joe Torre. The Yankees used a club-record 51 players on their roster, which included 14 different starting pitchers and were still able to win the American League East.

Also overshadowed by the Yankees' slow start of 11-19 was how they faired after May, going 84-48, which was the best record in baseball excluding May. And after closing out the regular season with a 16-5 record and taking over first place in the East by overcoming the Boston Red Sox, one can hardly think of their season as a failure.

However, the Yankees failed to advance to the American League Championship Series. After playing under wet conditions in Game 3 of the American League Division Series in Yankee Stadium, suffering a rainout in Game 4, and then flying across the continental U.S. in order to play a must-win Game 5 in Anaheim, California, the Yankees appeared to run out of steam.

Game 3's entirety was played under a steady rainfall for nine innings, which had an impact on all play, as the ball was difficult for players to throw, with both the outfield and infield slick. But the biggest story of the night was how lefthander Randy Johnson got rocked for three innings, and was chased in the fourth after giving up five runs, including two home runs. It was what turned out to be a four-hour heavyweight bout with both teams punching away at each other.

The Yankees, however, eventually, made up ground from a 5-0 deficit which was mainly produced by leftfielder Garret Anderson, who went 4-for-5 with a three-run homer and five runs batted in. Including second baseman Adam Kennedy's single and first baseman Darin Erstad's double, Johnson gave up a total of 9 hits.

The Yankees would eventually take over the lead at 6-5, but with the final score 11-7 in the Angels' favor, many left the stands scratching their heads as to what happened in what was to be a Yankee advantage with Johnson starting. But defensively, play was as sloppy as the field at times, on both sides. The weather also played a key role in the tempo of the game's slogging pace and when all was said and done, it appeared that all players were just anxious to get off the field. It was one that the Yankees would soon rather forget even though the Yankees had 12 hits. But right-hander Aaron Small (10-0) called in for relief for Johnson did not have his usual sharpness in his 2 2/3 innings pitched in giving up 2 runs.

For the Angels, it was a collaborative effort and they looked more like the Yankees than the Yankees did. But perhaps that is why the Yankees looked more like the comeback team they were all season in Sunday's game. Starting pitcher Shawn Chacon, in his first postseason start looked like a veteran and proved to be the star that he will be if he continues to pitch well the rest of his career. The Yankees would be nowhere in 2005 without him along with bargain basement pitchers Aaron Small and Chien-Ming Wang.

In Sunday's Game 4, postponed from Saturday due to the continuing rain, Chacon gave up only two runs and four hits over 6 1/3 innings, although he did not earn the win. Likewise, pitcher John Lackey pitched brilliantly allowing one run and two hits over 5 2/3 innings while pitching on only three days rest. The difference in the game was the Yankees' DH Ruben Sierra's pinch-hit single in the seventh to tie the game in addition to shortstop Derek Jeter's ground ball RBI. It was enough for the Yankees to pull out 3-2 win, as they barely stayed alive in the ALDS. The postponement of Game 4 then required both teams to travel 3,000 miles overnight in order to get in the deciding Game 5 on Monday in Anaheim.

And as many a Yankees fan, as well as Angels fans, knew, there were no certainties about a winner until every last pitch was made. The Yankees had come back too far to lose now, and the Angels had worked too hard on fundamental baseball all season to give in to the Yankees. The pitching starters were to be Bartolo Colon (21-8, 3.45 ERA) for the Angels and Mike Mussina (13-8, 4.41 ERA) for the Yankees. Both were questionable, however, as Colon had been complaining of back problems and Mussina was still nursing an inflamed elbow, which kept him on the DL for two months during the regular season.

As luck would have it, Colon did not make it out of the second inning when he was yanked at the top of it, this time with an inflamed right shoulder. But what was to transpire was nothing short of remarkable when rookie sensation Ervin Santana pitched 5 1/3 innings for the Angels in which the Yankees were stymied. He allowed three runs and five hits, but never buckled after his shaky start, before giving way to reliever Kelvim Escobar and closer Francisco Rodriguez, who racked up 45 saves over the regular season.

Unfortunately, Mike Mussina did not fair as well as he did in Game 1 when he provided 5 2/3 shutout innings. He was pulled in the third after giving up five runs and six hits. Ironically, he was relieved by Randy Johnson, whose appearance most looked at as his chance for redemption for his performance in Game 2. Johnson pitched well in his first relief performance since the 2001 postseason when he was with the Arizona Diamondbacks, while pitching 4 1/3 innings keeping the Yanks in contention.

But the Yankees bats were not timely enough with the exception of Derek Jeter's, who went 3-4 including 2 RBI and a solo home run in the seventh, along with right-fielder Gary Sheffield and first baseman Jason Giambi also with three hits apiece. But it was too little too late, and the regular season offensive feats of both leftfielder Hideki Matsui and third baseman Alex Rodriguez were sorely missed throughout the entire series.

The entire ALDS seemed to be in the Angels' favor as they did all of the little things for which the Yankees were previously known. The Angels not only made timely hits and played terrific defense, but its pitchers were able to capitalize on the sluggish NY lineup in addition to NY's 6 errors in the field. Base-running also was not the Yankees' best pursuit this series, as they had trouble generating runs.

When all is said and done, however, most fans will be left with the impression that A-Rod, Sheffield, Giambi, and Matsui were largely hamstrung offensively while dominating offensively all year long. It would not be fair to point fingers at one player, as many are quick to dump on A-Rod. But it is worth noting how much these veteran ball players were pressing. In the end, it appeared they left their guts on the field in the regular season and simply were mentally and physically exhausted throughout the ALDS. The better team in this particular series won, but for the Yankees' fans, this will be another long winter.

Posted by Diane M. Grassi at 5:33 PM | Comments (2)

Latendresse Has Left the Building

The Habs' decision to cut Guillaume Latendresse has been discussed over and over again. The 18-year-old phenomenon got himself three goals and two assists during four preseason games. Still, the Habs showed him the door. Latendresse is, however, ready to lead the way for the next QJMHL season.

Habs GM Bob Gainey had nothing but good things to say about the Drummondville Voltigeurs' winger. The 6-2, 225 lb. rookie "did a fine job, but he needs to mature a little bit. Needless to say, we appreciated all his efforts and his presence on the ice." Right after this annoucement, Guillaume did not have the time to be desperate.

"I am fine," he said, in an interview the day after he was cut. "I finished all my interviews before getting back to Drummondville (a one-hour drive from Montreal). It's crazy how I got so famous and, boy, so fast. Even Quebec's most popular tabloids, 7 Days and Echo-Star, asked for interviews!"

"Of course I am sad to leave. But I lived my dream till the end. I know what it means to have money, travel by plane, and live a prestigious lifestyle." Surprisingly, professional hockey players are quite simple and easy to approach, especially his buddies from Quebec. "Those players were awesome. They paid my bills at restaurants. I had nothing to worry about."

Latendresse is considered a good, but slow skater. During training camp, his sudden speed amazed the coaching staff and the media. "Guys wanted to call me the Rocket (Maurice Richard's nickname). I worked so hard in the gym during the summer. I did power skating 2-3 times a week."

Now that he has left Montreal, the Bell Centre fans won't roar his name like they used to do during the preseason games. The Habs' decision made Drummondville fans cheer, but the Habs fans were quite deceived. "I just don't get it," commented a fan who has his season tickets at the Bell Centre. "We waited so long for such a player. Now that one is hot, they waited until the last day to cut him off. And now, the enthusiasm is gone. But we'll still attend, and I hope the Habs will continue on their good streak." (Seven wins and two losses for the Habs, including preseason games as of October 7, 2005).

Latendresse will now impress a sold-out Marcel-Dionne Centre in Drummondville, where only a few tickets on 20 games are still available. The demand for season tickets exploded as soon as the news came out. His junior-major team, the Drummodnville Voltigeurs, did also well with six victories and two losses while Guillaume was skating on the professional ice.

"We trust our team presently and it will be good for Guillaume to get on the boat, stated Drummodnville coach Dominik Ricard. However, players must not reduce their power because Guillaume is back. We'll take it one day at a time. It will be important for Guillaume to have short-term objectives. He knows, but must not forget that the working conditions are not the same, and that he must enjoy his comeback."

This type of experience can quickly put a player on the map. The media (especially in Montreal) is known for its way of qualifying rookie players as soon as they hit the ice. Therefore, Latendresse impressed and got himself the status of a hockey icon. But according to some analysts, maybe the pressure of being in the NHL could have created the opposite effect after a few games. For instance, all eyes are now on Sidney Crosby as he skates with legends and older stagers such as Mario Lemieux, John LeClair, and Mark Recchi. Will he handle the pressure and expectations?

"Rookies need to have experience, but also need to comprehend that training camps are a wild dream, but also it is a step in the right direction," stated a hockey source. "Going back in their junior-major teams simply put their feet back on the ground. Some keep the beat going and produce all they can with their old team. Some others get desperate and cannot cope with the sudden change of conditions. The pressure is always there and NHL means work, sweat, bleed, and hurt all you can. That explains why only an average 1% of all minor hockey Canadian players make it to the NHL."

Habs fans will indeed watch Latendresse play his rounds one hour away from their hometown. Rumors even stated that Habs fans were looking for tickets in Drummondville! No doubt that Latendresse defended himself well and that the status of professional hockey player will stay with him. According to a French singer, men are often sad because they do not make their dream come true.

With a Habs jersey not very far and a junior-major sold-out Centre behind him, Latendresse is surely one of the happiest men alive.

The Bell Centre was one of Latendresse's wildest dreams and he finally made it.

Posted by Josie Lemieux at 2:24 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

October 12, 2005

Bluebook Notes #5: Pasadena Projections

In this special edition of Bluebook Notes, I will take a closer look at the ten teams with the best shot at heading to the Rose Bowl.

USC (Odds 3:2)

Why they're going: Why is Southern California the favorite to go to the Rose Bowl this season? For starters, their offense is loaded and has been clicking on all cylinders. Reggie Bush has racked up a ton of all-purpose yards, and Matt Leinart has had a phenomenal senior year. Even though they haven't played their best football in their last three games, they've still managed to outscore their opponents 125-63 in that span. The recent comebacks against Oregon and Arizona State have only strengthened the resolve of a team stacked with talent.

Why they're not: Even though the Trojans are almost unstoppable on offense, their defense still is a bit shaky. USC is very green in the secondary and teams with strong offensive firepower can and will take advantage of that. They face three teams (Notre Dame, California, and UCLA) who can all throw the ball efficiently and will put their defense to the test.

Conclusion: The Trojans should win all of their remaining games, and head on to Pasadena.

Texas (7:2)

Why they're going: Texas has played even better than I thought this season, and is clicking on all cylinders. Vince Young has shown everyone that he can indeed pass the ball, and he definitely has not forgotten how to run. Speaking of running, Jamaal Charles, the Longhorns' freshman sensation, has shown why people are comparing him favorably to guys like Ricky Williams and Cedric Benson. The Longhorn defense has also been superb, with a great pass rush and excellent coverage downfield. Their schedule looks fairly easy with Texas Tech and the Big 12 championship game (most likely against Colorado, this week's opponent) as their only tests.

Why they're not: I really think that the BCS might just mess with Texas. Unfortunately for the Longhorns, the Big 12 is about as strong as Richard Simmons this year. Oklahoma has disappeared from the spotlight, and Texas A&M has to be one of the biggest disappointments in all of college football. Even the win against Ohio State doesn't sparkle as much due to the fact that the Buckeyes lost to Penn State last Saturday. Texas benefited from the BCS chaos by knocking out a more deserving Cal team last year, and this season, turnabout might just be fair or unfair play.

Conclusion: I have a feeling that we will find out this year if the BCS has truly taken "strength of schedule" out of the equation. I think that in any polling system, strength of schedule is included in either a conscious or unconscious basis. I think that the Longhorns will make it, but its going to be pretty darn close.

Florida State (9:2)

Why they're going: In my ACC preview, I stated that Bobby Bowden must have his best coaching year in order for the Seminoles to have a chance this season, and he has. This team has looked better and better every week and the offense is finally starting to gel. Drew Weatherford's spirals are looking crisper by the day, and FSU's vaunted defense has imposed their will on their opponents. Florida State's schedule looks manageable, as even the hated Gators look pretty tame right now. They stand an excellent chance of being undefeated going in to the conference championship game, and if they can win that, they should have all of the BCS support they need.

Why they're not: The Seminoles have not moved the ball on the ground this season. This just might jump up and bite them when least expect it. Their defense has played well, but any squad can be susceptible to fatigue, and the ground game controls that. I see the game against Clemson as a potential stumbling block.

Conclusion: I don't know if the Seminoles have the team to beat Virginia Tech. If they do, Bobby Bowden's bringing his team to Pasadena.

Virginia Tech (9:2)

Why they're going: Virginia Tech has played magnificent football this season. Marcus Vick has shown that he is a capable passer, and can spread the ball effectively down the field. The real story, though, is Tech's defense. They have only allowed an average of 235 yards a game and they totally disrupt the other team's game plan. The dominated the Georgia Tech game, and stepped it up in the second half against West Virginia. These guys are for real.

Why they're not: Tech has a schedule filled with land mines. Their next four opponents (Maryland, Boston College, Miami, and Virginia) are all capable of springing an upset. Also, Florida State will most likely await them in the championship game. As you can see, the Hokies will have to be almost perfect to stay undefeated and go to Pasadena.

Conclusion: I think that Virginia Tech will go 5-1 in their next six games. I don't know to whom they will lose to, but I just don't think can get through their schedule without dropping one game. The good news for V-Tech fans is that another BCS bowl will undoubtedly pick them up with just one loss.

Georgia (12:1)

Why they're going: The main reason why Georgia is even being considered as a possible Rose Bowl contender is because of D.J. Shockley. The former five-star recruit waited patiently for his chance under David Greene, and has shown why he was so highly-regarded. He can hurt you with his arm or his legs and can break a team down. The Bulldogs have also been stout on defense, even with the loss of David Pollack to the NFL. Their schedule is tough, but they should be favored in every contest, except for their visit to Gainesville. Also, having the SEC championship game in Atlanta doesn't hurt.

Why they're not: Most of the major powers in this year's SEC suffer from an anemia offense. Tennessee, Florida, and even LSU at times (12-6 against Vandy after three?!) have all looked downright pitiful on offense. This has caused the conference to lose some of its luster, and Georgia will suffer in the rankings because of it. The Bulldogs are also showing signs of struggling with the ball, as their defense and special teams carried the load last week. Mark Richt's team is going to have to fine-tune their offense if they plan on staying undefeated.

Conclusion: I think Georgia is on the outside looking in this season.

Miami (FL) (15:1)

Why they're going: Miami has seemed to correct the problems they've had on offense lately and are looking very impressive. Their 23-3 thumping of Colorado looks a lot better now, and they are gaining momentum heading into the more difficult section of their schedule.

Why they're not: The Hurricanes have two major obstacles. The first is that they have already lost to Florida State. It will be hard for them to gain ground if other teams don't lose. The second obstacle is their game against Virginia Tech in Blacksburg. Virginia Tech looks to be the more complete team at this moment, and pulling out a victory would be a monumental task.

Conclusion: I think the Hurricanes will overcome one of the two obstacles facing them. Unfortunately, they won't conquer both, and they will be headed most likely to the Orange Bowl.

Alabama (15:1)

Why they're going: I thought that the Tide would do reasonably well this season, but they have exceeded all of my expectations. Brodie Croyle is looking like a legitimate Heisman contender at quarterback and Mike Darby has run the ball with authority as well. Their smackdown of a good Florida team shows that this team has the talent on both sides of the ball needed to get to Pasadena.

Why they're not: One of the major strikes against Alabama will be the loss of Tommy Prothro. Prothro, the all-world receiver in Tuscaloosa, was the major playmaker on offense and that will limit Mike Shula's creativity. Also, the schedule will be very difficult from here on out, and the Iron Bowl against Auburn might just be the game that gets away.

Conclusion: I love what the Tide are doing this year, but I don't think they make it to Pasadena. They need far too much help and they do not have enough firepower to stay undefeated.

Notre Dame (15:1)

Why they're going: Brady Quinn and the Irish have had an almost perfect season. It seems as if they are always knocking on the red zone when they touch the ball. Another thing that's "knocking" is opportunity. The No. 1-ranked Trojans are coming into South Bend, and a victory catapults the Irish into the top three.

Why they're not: Even with all of the success Notre Dame has had this season, they will have to play a perfect game against USC to win this Saturday. Even with the rumored green jersey and "Touchdown Jesus," I just don't see it happening. Of course, with two losses, the odds of a national championship berth are just about zero.

Conclusion: Notre Dame's schedule is always one of the toughest in the nation. This schedule virtually assures them of a BCS bowl game if they can pull off nine wins. Unfortunately for them, this year's schedule will also give them two losses, which puts them out of contention.

Penn State (20:1)

Why they're going: The Nittany Lions have got to be the "feel good" story of 2005. The legendary Joe Paterno was on his way to a controversial and not so quiet sunset with his teams underperforming the last couple of seasons. Joe Pa has definitely turned it around and his team is executing beautifully.

Why they're not: Penn State fans have got to be concerned with the consistency on offense. Michael Robinson has shown flashes of brilliance, but he has not been steady enough at quarterback. Also, the Lions were ranked so far below everyone else in the start of the season that people just don't believe that they are this good. This perception will kill them in the BCS rankings.

Conclusion: Penn State has a bone to pick with all of the national sports writers and media. If they were ranked where Ohio State was in the preseason, they could almost punch their ticket to Pasadena. Of course they are not, so another BCS bowl seems to be the obvious fit for the resurgent Nittany Lions.

UCLA (30:1)

Why they're going: The return to glory for the UCLA Bruins is another saga unfolding before our eyes this season. Karl Dorrell, UCLA's head coach, was on the hot seat before the season began, but has redeemed himself to the faithful in Westwood, and has this team undefeated. Maurice Jones-Drew has been the catalyst of a supercharged offense, which has taken the nation by storm. The Bruins will be favored in their next five matchups, which will potentially put them at 10-0 against USC.

Why they're not: The Bruin defense has been very unpredictable this year. Injuries to Kevin Brown and Nikola Dragovic have depleted an already undersized defensive line. The new guys on the line along with the rest of the unit will be put to the supreme test against USC. The Trojans should exploit the Bruin weaknesses up front and make it a long day for Karl Dorrell.

Conclusion: UCLA's national championship game will most likely be held at the Coliseum on December 3rd. This rivalry game against USC will be hyped as one of the greatest ever. I don't think the Bruins have enough weapons to counteract the Trojans on offense, and even if they pull off the upset, they still might be denied a chance to stay and play in Pasadena, due to the "lovable" BCS.

***

Games to Watch/Picks to Click

Season Record: 7-6 ATS; Last Week: 2-2 ATS

USC @ Notre Dame (+12)

This will be one of the best games of the year. Both teams possess immense offensive firepower and scoring should not be a problem. The key to victory will be which team can run the ball more effectively. Notre Dame has good backs with Darius Walker, and Rashaun Powers-Neal, but the Trojans' tandem of Bush and White is the best in the country. Even though I think USC will win the game, I don't see them covering as Charlie Weis will device schemes that will expose the weakened Trojan secondary.

Leinart & Crew 38, Brady's Bunch 28

Florida (+6) @ LSU

I don't think Florida stands a chance in this one. Chad Johnson and Dallas Baker are both out for this one and an already-hurting Chris Leak is one untimely hit away from an injury. Florida's offensive line has not handled blitz packages effectively enough, and LSU will bring the pressure all day. The Tigers should handle a Gator team that is nowhere near full strength.

Survivors 35, Sub-Urbans 13

Michigan State (+6) @ Ohio State

This game basically boils down to how well Drew Stanton and Co. will fare against the Ohio State defense. I think that Michigan State will do fairly well, as they have had two weeks to prepare for the Buckeyes. Ohio State will have to run the ball effectively in order for their defense to stay fresh enough to be effective. It should be close, but I think Ohio State barely covers.

Ginn is Back! 27, Spartacus 20

The Mailbag

This week's comes from John from SEC land.

Smith, I do not agree with you on very much...VY deserves the Heisman, no one should be able to win it twice, because there is no way that anyone can really pick who should have it one time much less twice. CHRIS LEAK IS NOT EVEN THE # 2 BEST QB IN THE SEC, SO WHY PLACE HIM ON YOUR LIST? The best QB in the SEC is at Vandy, and BAMA QB is second, Shockley next and by the way there is a freshman at LSU better than all of them...maranatha!!!

John, I've got to say that I don't agree very much with you on this one, buddy. Vince Young is certainly in my Heisman top three, but I think Reggie Bush is the best player in America, hands down. I think you are closer to the truth when you rank the quarterbacks in the SEC. Jay Cutler, Vanderbilt's quarterback, is the second best quarterback in the conference. I think that Brodie Croyle, Alabama's signal-caller, is my No. 1. Even with all of this said, the Heisman is about hype, and that's why Leak was among the top candidates until the recent thumping he took in Tuscaloosa. He has no chance of winning now. Thanks for the e-mail, John!

Do you think that I'm "off my rocker," or did I hit the proverbial "nail on the head?" Let me know! Send an e-mail to [email protected] and include your name and hometown. I'll do my best to include it in the next week's column.

Posted by Avery Smith at 5:03 PM | Comments (0)

Nobody Asked Me Yet, But...

* The Philadelphia Phillies have thrown general manager Ed Wade an anchor. The Associated Press phrased it thus: "Wade has two years remaining on his contract and it's unknown whether he'll remain in the organization. Wade was very unpopular in Philadelphia, especially after he hired Charlie Manuel as manager to replace Larry Bowa."

Bowa took the Phillies no closer than third place in the NL East in three seasons; Manuel has taken them now to two consecutive second-place finishes (and one game short of the wildcard this season). God help Wade if the Phillies hung on to him one more year and they finally overthrew the Braves in the East. He would have had to be guillotined. Preferably, at home plate.

* Overheard during the October 6 telecast of the Houston Astros at the Atlanta Braves was FOX color commentator and former major leaguer Steve Lyons:

"You look at the playoffs this year, and the Red Sox, and the success they had last year, in finally breaking The Curse and winning a World Series championship, and now the White Sox have them down, 2-0, and ironically, the last time the Red Sox had won a World Series, the White Sox had won the next two, and then they hadn't won one since then."

Perhaps someone will be kind enough to send Mr. Lyons a copy of Eight Men Out and any given volume addressing the Red Sox B.P.L.* He might learn some things that only begin with the White Sox a) having won the 1917 World Series but gone to their next Series after the Red Sox won the 1918 Series; b) having blown that next Series by way of a little (ahem), mischief, courtesy of the title of the first book; and, c) having blown the 1920 American League pennant after Charlie Comiskey suspended the Eight Men Out** (well, seven: Chick Gandil, the likely original instigator of the scheme, had quit the game before the 1920 season), while the White Sox were still in a race with the Cleveland Indians.

Lyons appeared in the underrated For Love of the Game, as the television colour commentator for the fictitious Detroit Tiger pitcher Billy Chapel's season-and-career-ending perfect game against the Yankees. The play-by-play man in the same film: no less than Vin Scully. And Lyons has just spent his first season's employment as a member of the Dodgers' broadcasting team. Whatever impressions he has drawn from Scully, historical accuracy seems paramount among the missing.

* The Baltimore Orioles seem to think it takes a former Cy Young Award winner to do by himself what he could not do in tandem with a mere back-end starting pitcher. They have demoted Jim Beattie to an offer to stay as a consultant while handing Mike Flanagan the executive vice presidency, with a mandate to end eight consecutive seasons of losing baseball.

Together, their best was signing Miguel Tejada; together, their worst was signing a downsloping Sammy Sosa. Together, they oversaw the losing interrupted by a surprising grip on the American League East early in 2005; together, they saw their handpicked manager Lee Mazzilli in over his head and bench coach Sam Perlozzo trying from there to salvage the unsalvageable. Together, their worst bid for a starting pitcher was signing Sidney Ponson to three years at $22.5 million before 2004; together, their best was dumping Ponson after a second DUI that followed his first boxing match with a judge.

Alone, Flanagan just might represent even a modest resurrection of what they once called the Oriole Way. Assuming owner Peter Angelos doesn't tell him, "Don't even think about it."

* Jim Tracy's unemployment lasted about a day past a week. What a surprise, considering nobody blamed him for the Los Angeles Dodgers' 2005 collapse, except the general manager who thinks managers ought to be seen and not heard, until or unless the manager makes a move defiant of the general manager's master plan. Tracy has been hired to manage the Pittsburgh Pirates. What a surprise, too, considering he has been friendly with their general manager, Dave Littlefield, since their days together in the organization of the team formerly known as the Montreal Expos.

And, Tracy actually has a chance to bring the Pirates back to respectability. What a surprise, again, the Pirates having broken in a small cadre of lively rookies in 2005's second half, and Tracy none too shabby in nurturing and enhancing young players no matter their personalities. Their new kindergarten made the Pirates interesting to watch in the final weeks of the season. Their new manager may make them fun to watch next season.

* Getting it right regarding Harriet the Mere: That is what The Wall Street Journal's e-mail newsletter, Best of the Web, has done:

Mediocre people are, of course, entitled to representation. That's what Congress is for. But the federal courts are not a representative institution, and the charge of elitism is a strange one in this context. After all, it's called the Supreme Court, not the Court of Common Place.

The Journal's political columnist, John Fund gets it just as right. If you have a mind to traipse around the crowd of political message boards and portals, you will notice a rather bloated volume of President Bush's defenders daring to suggest that merely asking for and examining Ms. Miers on her record (she has one, in Texas politics, believe it or not) equals character assassination. (Not even her most obstreperous critics, to my knowledge, has accused Ms. Miers yet of being anything other than a good person.) And they once denounced Bill Clinton's acolytes for the same accusation, when the focus was the record as opposed to the then-President's personal behavior.

On October 5, George F. Will wrote thus:

[T]he president has forfeited his right to be trusted as a custodian of the Constitution. The forfeiture occurred March 27, 2002, when, in a private act betokening an uneasy conscience, he signed the [John] McCain-[Russ] Feingold law expanding government regulation of the timing, quantity, and content of political speech. The day before the 2000 Iowa caucuses he was asked — to ensure a considered response from him, he had been told in advance that he would be asked — whether McCain-Feingold's core purposes are unconstitutional. He unhesitatingly said, "I agree." Asked if he thought presidents have a duty, pursuant to their oath to defend the Constitution, to make an independent judgment about the constitutionality of bills and to veto those he thinks unconstitutional, he briskly said, "I do."

The cronyism issue (do not make the mistake of believing it false) is the secondary issue. Trust me. If you'll pardon the expression.

* B.P.L. — Before the Promised Land.

** — The Yankees and the Red Sox had offered to lend Comiskey players to finish the pennant race, and called on their fellow American League owners to do likewise — a symbolic gesture, of course, but notable regardless.

Posted by Jeff Kallman at 3:29 PM | Comments (2)

October 11, 2005

NFL Week 5 Power Rankings

Five Quick Hits

* It seems pretty obvious that NFL referees have a different definition of "indisputable visual evidence" than the rest of the world.

* This week, I'm thinking specifically of Jeff Triplette, who reversed Hines Ward's touchdown run, and Pete Morelli, who thought the first tuck rule was so great that we needed a second one.

* At least two separate announcers referred to Edwin Moses when NFL players hurdled opponents this weekend.

* Curtis Martin wants to break Emmitt Smith's career rushing record. This season, he's on pace for 912 yards, and he's averaging 2.7 yards per attempt. That's no way to get to 18,000.

* How can any announcer call umpire Garth DeFelice "as tough as anyone out on that field today" with a straight face, while Rod Smith and John Lynch are on one sideline, and Jon Jansen is playing with both his thumbs broken and hitting someone on every play?

***

It's not uncommon to hear that to get to the Super Bowl, a team has to be lucky as well as good. Bad luck is starting to pour in for some teams, and some preseason contenders are starting to look pretty beaten up. This Sunday, the Saints, already down on their luck, lost Deuce McAllister for the rest of the season. The Patriots, trying to defend their Super Bowl title, have lost a host of players, most notably Rodney Harrison and Matt Light. Green Bay has a constantly-shifting offensive line, and Javon Walker suffered a season-ending injury in the first game of the year.

Injuries can be the difference between good and great, or sometimes even great (the NFC champion 1998 Falcons with Jamal Anderson) and terrible (the 5-11 1999 Falcons without Anderson). Injuries are starting to mount, and good teams like the Colts are starting to distance themselves from the field. Let's jump right to the rankings. Brackets indicate previous rank.

1. Indianapolis Colts [1] — Weirdest stat of the young season: New England's defense has given up 107 points more than the Colts'. I don't buy the hype that Indianapolis suddenly has the league's best defense, but it's clearly capable of pulling its weight this time around, and a renewed emphasis on the running game is keeping the defensive unit fresh. If there's cause for concern, it's that Peyton Manning's interception percentage is 37% higher than it was last season. At this point, though, that's picking nits. The Colts appear to be the NFL's most solid, balanced team, and Peyton Manning does not count as a glaring weakness.

2. Pittsburgh Steelers [2] — I'm writing this on Monday night, and all I know about Ben Roethlisberger's injury is that it looked a lot like Willis McGahee's in the Fiesta Bowl. If he's out, which seems likely, they should probably be lower. On the bright side, every player on the roster was a college quarterback, so I think they'll be able to fill in. Hines Ward and Troy Polamalu must be wondering what they have to do to get on John Madden's trailer.

3. Cincinnati Bengals [3] — I don't like keeping them here after a loss, and they still haven't beaten anyone, but there's no one to move up. The four teams Cincinnati has beaten have a combined record of 4-12, which is actually a pretty Bengal-like record. It's worrisome that the team seemed so lost when the Jaguars were able to contain Chad Johnson, but I like the balance I see on this team: obvious holes simply aren't there. It'll get a chance for redemption in two weeks when the Steelers come to Ohio with first place in the AFC North on the line.

4. Atlanta Falcons [4] — Each of the last two weeks, I raved about the pass defense, and this week it made the Patriots look like the 1950 Rams. Sunday was a rough day for Atlanta fans, who lost a tight football game and an epic elimination game in baseball. They're ranked here partially on the assumption that Michael Vick will be back next week, and partly on the assumption that Vick is the team's best quarterback.

5. New England Patriots [7] — Statistically, 2002 was a career year for Tom Brady. He had career-highs in completions, passing yards, touchdowns, and rushing yards. The Pats finished 28th in rushing offense and 21st in total defense, going 9-7 and missing the playoffs. This year's team reminds me a little of that group. It's encouraging that Corey Dillon got going on Sunday.

6. San Diego Chargers [9] — Most years, Shaun Alexander and Edgerrin James would be all-pro front-runners at this point. Instead, LaDainian Tomlinson — though he skipped directly from unnoticed to overhyped — has a pretty strong case as the best RB in the NFL. Antonio Gates made a couple of pretty amazing plays on Monday night, too. This is one of the best 2-3 teams you'll ever see, but a brutal schedule leaves it easy to imagine the Chargers missing the postseason.

7. Denver Broncos [8] — Came up with big plays when they needed them, but Washington outplayed them at Mile High. Mark Brunell looked like a superstar, with 18 passing first downs and no sacks or interceptions in 53 attempts. Clinton Portis had his first 100-yard game of the season. Jake Plummer completed 40% of his passes. No Bronco receiver had more than two catches. Denver was lucky to escape with a win.

8. Jacksonville Jaguars [10] — Could be higher than this, and if they beat Pittsburgh next week, they will be. If Byron Leftwich doesn't start completing some passes, though, I'll have to kick them out of the top 10 because of my Week 2 decision that "teams in the top 10 must have an offense". Leftwich was 10-for-24 against Cincinnati.

9. Philadelphia Eagles [5] — Last season, they allowed only one opponent to score 30 points before the meaningless final week of the regular season. This year, it's already happened twice. The Cowboys' offense is clearly better than expected, but it's been held to 13 points twice this season — by Washington, which has an exceptional defense, and Oakland, which does not. The Eagles need to seriously regroup during their bye week, because their first three games coming back are going to be awfully tough.

10. Tampa Bay Buccaneers [6] — I still don't understand why Ronde Barber wasn't ejected from this game after he hit umpire Butch Hannah in the face. This is a different team without Cadillac Williams, and it's scored fewer points each week, with the exception of two weeks in a row at 17. That's a bad trend.

11. Washington Redskins [11] — Santana Moss continues to impress me. In the late 1990s, all Cris Carter did was catch touchdowns. This season, all Moss does is make first downs. The offense is coming together, and the defense is probably the best in the league, although I'd like to see it come up with more big plays. The kicking unit could stand to improve its blocking — Nick Novak has had a field goal blocked in consecutive games.

12. Seattle Seahawks [12] — FOX seems to believe that my top priority as a football fan is to avoid watching teams that play West of the Mississippi. First, I got Jets/Bucs, and when that game ended early, they switched to Browns/Bears instead of the NFC West grudge match in St. Louis. I watched a lot of CBS and a little of ESPN and FOX.

13. New York Giants [13] — Bye week, and I don't have anything interesting to say about them, but doesn't it seem like there are more clock errors than usual this season? What's up with that?

14. Carolina Panthers [14] — Stephen Davis averaged under three yards per carry for the third game in a row. The Dolphins have a pretty good defense, but the Packers and Cardinals aren't really known for their run-stuffing.

15. Kansas City Chiefs [16] — After Washington, they have four road games in five weeks. From Miami to San Diego, back to KC, then northeast to Buffalo before going southwest to Houston. That's a lot of travel after their bye.

16. Dallas Cowboys [21] — Drew Bledsoe and Terry Glenn are playing like it's 1996. This team is all about breaking up streaks. First, it loses to Washington for the first time since the Jimmy Carter administration, then it wins against the Eagles after losing nine of the previous 10.

17. Detroit Lions [17] — A totally different team at home. They're hopeless on the road, but in Detroit, they've got a shot against almost anybody. Joey Harrington took a lot of shots on Sunday.

18. Oakland Raiders [20] — I'm sure he'd like to see a little more consistency from Kerry Collins, but Norv Turner has to be pretty pleased with what he's seen from his offense so far. Lamont Jordan has lived up to the hype, especially as a receiving threat out of the backfield. Courtney Anderson is a legitimate receiver out of the tight end position, which is key in Turner's scheme, and of course, Randy Moss is stretching the field vertically. Even Collins has done well, showing his arm and avoiding interceptions. A 55% completion percentage is a little low in today's NFL, though, even for a downfield passing game.

19. Miami Dolphins [18] — "Historically a team that struggles on the road, so if they can win at Buffalo in Week 5, they're probably for real." And so it continues. I actually think they're a good upset pick at Tampa in Week 6, but I worry that the return of Ricky Williams may hurt the team. Williams was a good back once, but he's through, and Ronnie Brown has shown a lot of promise the last two weeks.

20. Minnesota Vikings [19] — The NFC North is wide open, and Minnesota hasn't had any division games yet, so if they can turn things around, the Vikings could still win. I've gotten used to ignoring owners who claim they won't fire the head coach, but Zygi Wilf seems genuinely committed to Mike Tice for the time being. I normally hate replacing coaches midseason, but if I ran the Vikings, assistant head coach Ted Cottrell would be in charge of the team right now.

21. Buffalo Bills [23] — J.P. Losman seems like a nice kid, but switching to Kelly Holcomb clearly gave the offense a boost. What I keep hearing, though, is that the Dolphins beat themselves. Five turnovers and 18 penalties will do that. The Bills have reason to be encouraged, but I'd like more proof than a win over a team Buffalo usually beats at home.

22. Baltimore Ravens [15] — What an ugly, vicious game in Detroit. I heard Mike Ditka trying to apologize for the Ravens, but I saw this game, and the officials called it correctly. It wasn't just that Baltimore had 21 penalties — a lot of them were personal fouls or unsportsmanlike conduct calls, and two players were ejected. I'm not sure I've ever seen a team lose its self-control the way the Ravens did. They did make a terrific goal-line stand in the third quarter, stopping the Lions seven times before, with some penalty help, Detroit finally punched it in on the eighth try.

23. Cleveland Browns [25] — Came up with some big plays, but really struggled on run defense. The offense has looked lively with Trent Dilfer under center.

24. St. Louis Rams [24] — I think Mike Martz is a terrible head coach, but that doesn't mean his absence in the middle of the season will help St. Louis. I've actually been surprised by how worried I find myself about Martz's condition. The Rams' defense is atrocious.

25. New York Jets [27] — Not to rain on the Vinny Testaverde parade, but he had a 72.9 passer rating on Sunday, and the Jets had their fewest points at home all season. Vinny brings leadership and confidence that the team had been lacking, but the real credit for Sunday's win goes to the defense that kept forcing Tampa Bay to settle for field goals instead of touchdowns.

26. Tennessee Titans [26] — They've allowed more than 30 points three times already, and have the second-worst scoring defense in the AFC (New England, believe it or not, is last), but the defense is the strength of this team. Kyle Vanden Bosch is tied for the NFL sack lead (6), and Keith Bulluck remains one of the game's premier outside linebackers. Only the Colts and Falcons have more sacks this season.

27. New Orleans Saints [22] — Inconsistency was a Saints trademark even before they became a permanent road team dealing with the aftermath of Hurricane Katrina. This is a slightly above-average team on its good days, but when it is bad, it is horrid.

28. Arizona Cardinals [29] — Clearly a better team with Josh McCown throwing the passes, but he shouldn't be the leading rusher, too.

29. Green Bay Packers [30] — The depth chart is getting awfully thin at running back and wide receiver, and there are still a ton of problems on defense, but they’re right back in the thick of the NFC North title hunt.

30. Chicago Bears [28] — The defense is strong, and I feel bad about having them so low. They had a chance against Cleveland on Sunday, and just couldn't close the deal. They'll miss Thomas Jones while he's out.

31. Houston Texans [31] — It just wouldn't be Sunday without David Carr being sacked seven times.

32. San Francisco 49ers [32] — Could easily be ranked second. The Niners beat St. Louis earlier this season, and St. Louis beat Tennessee. The Titans beat Baltimore, and the Ravens defeated the Jets. The Jets knocked out Tampa Bay, who beat Buffalo, who topped Miami this weekend. The Dolphins beat the Broncos, and the Broncos have beaten San Diego (who beat New England), Jacksonville (who beat Cincinnati), and Washington (who beat Seattle). The Patriots toppled Pittsburgh, and the Seahawks dropped the Falcons. Using this logic, I could deduce that San Francisco would beat the Steelers by 110. And that is why I don't use formulas or base my rankings on a single game.

Posted by Brad Oremland at 3:51 PM | Comments (4)

All For the Money

There are hypocrites and then there are morons — and then there's the NFL. Last week, the NFL reiterated their demand that networks should not air commercials for the movie "Two for the Money" during games because they don't condone gambling.

Why does the NFL think it means they condone gambling if they show a movie about it? They are perfectly fine with running ads for Tim Burton's "A Corpse Bride," so does that mean they condone leaving your fiancé to wed a corpse? Now that it has the league's stamp of approval, I think you are going to see a lot more human-corpse intermarriage. They show commercials for FOX's "Prison Break," so why doesn't the NFL see anything wrong with condoning people to get sent to prison in order to break out people they believe are wrongly convicted? I, for one, am appalled at the lack of confidence the National Football League has in our judicial system.

That being said, the NFL is only what it is because of gambling. No one outside of the local market would give a second thought to that Detroit/Baltimore game if they weren't wagering their paycheck on the over/under or on who would win the coin toss, that's just how it is. Johnny Everyman isn't going to watch that game unless he has some money rolling on whether or not the first player to score a touchdown is wearing an odd-numbered jersey (okay, Johnny may have a problem, but forgive him, he's still depressed over being named Johnny Everyman because let's face it — no girl is going to want to marry him and become Mrs. Everyman, it's just not going to happen).

What people have to realize is that gambling is as American as celebrity sex tapes. There really is something for everyone. There is the standard wagering on lines and your typical parlays. Then you have enough props that you can bet on anything in the game, from how many times a player will score to whether or not there will be a safety in the game and even Johnny Everyman's favorite wager, whether the first TD will be scored by someone wearing an odd-numbered jersey.

Then you have the serious wagering, where you can wager on Terrell Owens celebrating a touchdown by kissing a cheerleader (+2000) or on Jeff Kent getting fined for making racist comments (+500). I'm no John Anthony (or no Brandon Lang, for that matter), but I'd have to say there is smart money on Karl Malone kicking the crap out of Kobe Bryant if the two ever have a fistfight on national TV (-3000, Karl obviously is the heavy favorite). Actually, the entire section on Kobe/Karl makes for some potentially valuable investments.

1. Will a DNA test reveal that Kobe's daughter is in fact Karl Malone's?

Yes, +5000 (interesting to see where Mrs. Kobe's money is).

2. If there's a televised fight between Kobe and Karl Malone, who will win?

Kobe +1000
Karl -3000

(If I'm Vince McMahon, I fund the entire future of the WWE by wagering heavily on Kobe and then having both fight at WrestleMania. There has to be some catch to this, or we would have already seen this happen. This wouldn't even be a first for Karl, as he once laid the smack down on Dennis Rodman back in the WCW glory days.)

3. Will Karl Malone and Kobe Bryant come out of the closet and marry in Canada before 2006?

Yes, +5000.

It is amazing to see the effect that gambling has on the NFL — just forget about eight-team parlays and money lines and look at what fantasy football has become. Fantasy football is easily a million-dollar industry with the abundance of fans willing to plunk down anywhere from $10-$30 for a season. These fans aren't just doing it in passing, either — they get addicted to fantasy football. (Unless you are in a league of complete morons, as I was a few years ago. For example, the first overall pick in the league was Jeremy Shockey. Needless to say, that was probably the worst $15 that guy ever spent).

Bottom line is that the NFL wouldn't be close to what it is today if it wasn't for gambling and there are plenty of people who can wager responsibly. In fact, in response to the NFL hypocrisy, the Sports Gospel sponsor (BetOnSports.com) is now running a Sports Gospel signup bonus, so anyone who is interested in getting involved in something that the NFL doesn't condone can actually profit from reading my column for once (it's relatively simple, all you have to do is type Sports Gospel into your promo code when you sign up with BetOnSports.com and they will give you a 10% signup bonus on top of any other sign up bonuses they have. Sometimes, it pays to read the Sports Gospel.

I'm not here advocating gambling or trying to entice you to gamble away your future. I only wager among friends, but if it's your thing, go for it, enjoy it, and don't let the NFL tell you what's right. Besides, if it was up to the NFL, we'd all be necrophiliacs.

The Sports Gospel According to Mark is sponsored by BetOnSports.com. BetOnSports.com gives you the greatest sports action to bet on. Wager on football, cricket, boxing, Rugby, horse racing, and more. Mark Chalifoux is also a weekly columnist for SportsFan Magazine. His columns appear every Tuesday on Sports Central. You can e-mail Mark at [email protected].

Posted by Mark Chalifoux at 12:55 PM | Comments (0)

October 10, 2005

Ozzie Guillen's "Not So Smart" Ball

It's tough. Every year, the media needs a story. A story about an underdog. A surprise team that nobody saw coming. A David who comes out of nowhere to stare down Goliath. In 2005, MLB's story is the Chicago White Sox. At least, everyone in the media seems to think so.

Tune into any national broadcast of a White Sox game this year, and you won't get through two Chicago plate appearances before being subjected to a monologue on the genius of manager Ozzie Guillen's "little ball" strategy. Bunting, stealing bases, moving runners — they all allow the power-poor Sox to outwit their muscle-bound competitors in Boston, New York, and Texas.

It's simple, elegant, and it's wrong.

Attributing the White Sox' success to their playing "little ball" is like saying that the Atlanta Braves are back in the playoffs because their pitchers handle the bat so well. It's true that they play little ball, but it's not why they win. Below are the three most important factors in the Sox' success this season, in order of significance, as well as some thoughts on Ozzie's offensive philosophy.

Pitching

The White Sox compiled a team ERA of 3.61 this year, which was the fourth-best mark in baseball. This is a fairly remarkable fact, since most of their starting rotation had never pitched this well before 2005. Every member of the starting rotation, excluding Orlando Hernandez, has posted an ERA below his personal career mark. Jon Garland's and Jose Contreras' improvement have been the most conspicuous — both guys are more than a run under their pre-2005 level. Hernandez, while he hasn't pitched particularly well, has pitched to his run support quite a bit, collecting more wins (9) this year than he had since 2000 (12).

The bullpen has been even better. Its 3.26 mark is also the fourth-best in the majors. Only two teams in the American League (Los Angeles, Cleveland) allowed fewer runs than the Sox, and by just two runs. It's hard not to win when the other team doesn't score.

Power

Yeah, yeah, I know. The White Sox don't win because of power. They win despite the other team's power. If only that were true. Let's take a look at the numbers, shall we? The major league leaders in home runs hit in 2005 are, in order, Texas, New York Yankees, Cincinnati, Cleveland, Chicago White Sox. Yep, Ozzie's slap-hitting, base-stealing wonders hit 200 home runs this season.

With all their highly-publicized power hitters, the Red Sox (Chicago's ALDS opponent) managed just 199 round-trippers during the regular season. The White Sox have seven players with 15 or more home runs. Although Boston probably has a slight edge in long-ball production given that Chicago's U.S. Cellular Field is statistically the majors' most homer-friendly, Ozzie's crew can certainly hold their own in a slugfest. In their 3-0 sweep of Boston last week, Chicago out-homered their opponents 7-3. It generated plenty of surprise on the highlight shows, but they've been doing it all season.

Record in One-Run Games

Ozzie's troops were 35-19 in one-run games this year. Not only did they play a lot of them (exactly one third of their games), but they were 16 games over .500 in these situations. It's a huge reason they were able to win 99 games this season.

How much of their prowess in close games was due to Ozzie's little ball tactics? It's hard to say. A complete analysis of this issue would fill its own book, but suffice to say there are far too many factors at play to view the White Sox' record in these games as a ringing endorsement of little ball. From the Sox' strong bullpen, to the tendency of good teams to win more close games in general, to flat luck, there are too many alternative explanations for Chicago's performance in one-run games to call Guillen's strategy the difference maker. Make no mistake, however: the Sox' success in these games is a huge reason they're in the playoffs.

A Couple Thoughts On Little Ball

Many announcers speak glowingly of the fact that Ozzie's team leads the American League in sacrifice bunts (53). What's not clear is why this is something to brag about. Unless you're bunting in the late innings of a tied or one-run game, studies have demonstrated time and again that sacrifice bunting is generally not a good strategy. Outs are simply too valuable, and the strategy will limit a team's total scoring in the long run. If the bunter is a hitter with the skill of the average pitcher, statistics favor the strategy to a greater degree. However, playing with a DH and a lineup that hits more home runs than all but four major-league teams, it's hard to figure out why Guillen would want to give the opposition any more outs than is absolutely necessary.

Another supposed hallmark of Guillen's style is base stealing, personified by Chicago's leadoff hitter Scott Podsednik and his 59 thefts. And the Sox have stolen a lot of bases. Trouble is, they're just not very good at it. Chicago stole 137 bases this season, the fourth-most in baseball. They were also caught stealing 66 times — 10 more than any other team. Their 67-percent success rate is the lowest of any team with more than 100 stolen bases. Compared to running teams like the Phillies (116 steals) and Mets (153), the Sox have given up 39 more outs than Philadelphia and 26 more than New York. Once again, why are you giving up outs with a lineup that can hit it out of the ballpark from almost any spot in the lineup?

Perhaps this is why, despite hitting more home runs than most teams in the game, the White Sox are just 13th in runs scored. To be fair, they are just 17th in team batting average, but they remove themselves from the bases more than any other team in the league, preventing their home runs from driving in as many runs as they might. In the final analysis, Ozzie's boys might be winning in spite of the little ball philosophy — not because of it.

Posted by Zach Jones at 12:31 PM | Comments (2)

October 8, 2005

An Age-Old Question

It seemed like a nice idea when we first heard about it, so it's hard to admit now that we were wrong. It has become obvious, though, that kids should not be playing sports. People under 18 shouldn't be playing football, baseball, or basketball, shouldn't be ice skating or golfing or learning to hit a ball with a racket.

They simply aren't mature enough — physically or mentally — to put in the extensive training hours, deal with the stress on their bodies and minds, or cope with the publicity that accompanies athletics. There can be no argument that it is fair to ask children to devote the time necessary to master a sport, to push their bodies with long hours on the track or in the weight room, or to have a nation watching when they come to bat with the game on the line.

Or maybe kids should play sports, but somehow be exempt from those pressures anyway.

Of course I don't believe that children should be kept away from athletics — just the opposite. But I do believe children participating in athletics should be kept off of television and away from public scrutiny. I know it's cheaper for ESPN to televise the Little League World Series than a Major League Baseball game, and years ago, when I first saw the LLWS on television, I thought it was a great thing to do for kids.

My thinking has changed. Professional baseball, for better or worse, is a business. Little League is a game. Treating children's sports the same way we treat adults' deprives kids of all the benefits athletics are supposed to provide. It's as kids that we learn about being a good teammate, dealing with losing, the joy of victory, and a pizza party. Growing up, we discover that it's not whether you win or lose, it's how you play the game. We learn about being good sports. And when the game's over, we get to go home and do something else.

Televised, high-pressure sports teach us the opposite of all those things. They're hard, cold, adult lessons. Make kids' sports like the other sports on television and you'll have 12-year-olds treating their teammates the way Terrell Owens and Kobe Bryant do, treating their bodies like Rafael Palmeiro and Bill Romanowski, paying more attention to the cameras than to the game, their friends, or their coaches. The last thing we need is a generation of athletes raised to behave like Leon from the Bud Light commercials.

Even success stories like Tiger Woods and the Williams sisters should raise a few eyebrows. What tennis fan hasn't questioned the way Richard Williams raised his daughters and manipulated the early stages of their careers? Does any golf fan not have some misgivings about the amount of his childhood Tiger spent on the course, away from anyone his own age?

Played at the Little League level, baseball is just a game, and we shouldn't treat it as more. Let kids be kids, and let sports be games, at least until high school. Young people should play sports for fun, as hobbies and social activities, not for fame or profit, or as obligations. All children should be encouraged to participate in athletics, but not to take them as seriously as we take the same games when adults are playing.

Posted by Brad Oremland at 2:07 PM | Comments (3)

The Never-Ending Sagas Are Back

Yes, it is that time again...

Slow season in tennis is here.

If you can't get interested in football, "futbol," or basketball, boredom is slowly setting in.

The Slams are over. The season is coming to an end. The year-ending WTA Championships and the ATP Masters Cup are all that are left on the professional circuit. Well, there is also the Davis Cup finals. I can't help but wonder, however, how much interest that final will generate outside the countries of Croatia and the Slovak Republic.

There are a few tournaments here and there, mostly indoors. Football has started in the U.S., basketball soon to come...

So, it's that time of the year — things are slow around the tennis world. Really slow!

It's time to fall back on the good, old, never-ending sagas of the tennis world that come up over and over again, yet seem to never get resolved. Every year, there is an addendum to a certain issue at hand, same moral arguments are rehashed, few people change their opinions, but one thing remains constant: the saga never ends.

In fact, I am not even sure that people want these sagas to end. Why would we want to kill them when we can use them during slow times like these?

They certainly beat boredom!

So here I go...

Doubles: To Be or Not to Be!

The ATP made some radical changes on its doubles rules, in an effort to encourage top players into playing doubles (read more about it in a previous article entitled "ATP's New Doubles: A Necessary Evil"). Most of the players did not like it and 45 of them, mostly doubles specialists, decided to take ATP to the courtroom.

Now another chapter is added to the soap opera. The Masters Series organizers in Madrid decided to suspend the doubles competition in their upcoming tournament. They feel that as members of the ATP, they want no part in organizing a competition that benefits directly the parties who are suing the ATP. They will simply donate half of the prize money for doubles, which amounts to $170,000 euros, to the ATP retirement plan. It seems like a noble choice, or one that resulted in the tournament organizers profiting $170,000 euros, depending on your perspective.

Who is right? Who is wrong? I cared enough to write an article on it back in August, but I believe I am in the minority. Rather than right or wrong, perhaps the right question to ask is, "who cares?"

Tennis Season: Too Long?

With all the withdrawals from various tournaments by most top players, the decade long question is back — is the tennis season too long?

Let me go on record clearly on this subject. The tennis season is just fine in its current form.

I find it interesting that as technology and fitness training methods go forward by leaps and bounds, so does the amount of whining by players. Did John McEnroe, Martina Navratilova, Chris Evert, Bjorn Borg, Rod Laver, and Ivan Lendl have shortened seasons? Did they whine this much about it despite not having the same type of access to training techniques as the players do today?

I certainly don't remember Evert, Navratilova, or Hana Mandlikova playing with the comfort of knowing that if the temperature reaches a certain degree, they had the luxury of suspending the match or covering the court. Nor do I remember them whining about it.

Oh, and guess what? Most of today's players do anyway.

They go ahead and play more tennis. Yep, you read it correctly. You would think that since they whine so much about time off, the two months that they have at the end of the year, they would spend some of it off the court, resting. Think again!

Most of them go on to play exhibition matches here and there, looking to grab more dollars where they can find them. You will even see these players heavily-wrapped with bandages on their legs or ankle tapes, playing exhibition matches in the offseason. Where there is money, injuries are forgotten. But somehow, the players' performance on whining about those injuries and blaming it on the season length, remains consistent and persistent.

Equal Prize Money

Finally, the French Open jumped on the boat. in 2006, the men's and the women's champions will receive equal prize money. Wimbledon is now the only Slam left to join the boat.

Yes, sir, we know that men play longer than women.
Yes, madame, we realize that women practice just as hard as the men.
Yes, sir, we know men attract bigger crowds on average historically.
Yes, madame, we know quality is what counts and not quantity.

Someone, please bring me some coffee and more saga input, I need to stay awake!

It's that time of the year again...

Posted by Mert Ertunga at 1:28 PM | Comments (5)

October 7, 2005

Cards Give Padres a Playoff Lesson

There were a few things that were immediately apparent after the Cardinals 6-2 win over the Padres on Thursday evening:

1. The Cardinals are a much better and more experienced team than San Diego.

2. The Cardinals are the most fundamentally-sound team in the game.

The Cardinals' veterans gave the young Padres a tutorial on how to play playoff baseball. They showed all of baseball what the difference is between an 82-win team and a 100-win team.

The Red Birds' win today exemplified everything that the Cardinals have worked for all season long. They made smart decisions on the field with the bat, the glove, on the base paths, and in the dugout. The Cards let the Padres make inexperienced mistakes, then they capitalized on those mistakes.

You would think being on a team that hit 175 home runs this season that the Cardinals would be knocking the cover off of the ball, and scoring runs with the long ball. But that hasn't been the case. Yes, Jim Edmonds and Reggie Sanders did hit homers in game one (Sanders' homer being a grand slam). But in Game 2, the Cards played small ball to perfection.

Little giant David Eckstein worked his magic yet again for a squeeze play in the fourth, and had another RBI on a fielder's choice groundout when Xavier Nady couldn't throw out Abraham Nunez at the plate. The Cards would score twice more on a bases loaded walk by MVP candidate Albert Pujols and another RBI fielder's choice poorly executed by Xavier Nady and Ramon Hernandez. The Cardinals hitters showed that even when they have an off day hitting the ball they can still score runs.

The Cards didn't stop the lesson there. They tied a NLDS record by turning four double plays, and they have now turned seven in the series. They didn't commit an error and have committed only one in two games. They ran the hit and run and the squeeze play to perfection. And they scored two runs by the aggressive base running Tony LaRussa has been pushing for all season.

A lot of St. Louis' success in the fundamental aspects of the game can be attributed to the coaching staff Tony LaRussa has assembled. LaRussa has 2,214 career wins, he's won the Manager of the Year award four different times with three different teams. His teams have won two AL pennants, one NL pennant, and one World Series championship. He is an excellent coach, a meticulous student of the game, and seems to control every aspect of the proceedings with a single sign.

His other members of the coaching staff command similar respect. Pitching coach Dave Duncan is one of the most revered men in the game, and should be considered in the same realm of Leo Mazzoni and Mel Stottlemeyer. Hitting coach Hal McRae is the former Kansas City Royals manager and father of former major leaguer Brian McRae. Through McRae's work this season, the Cardinals' strikeouts are down considerably from a year ago. Only one player, Jim Edmonds, was above 100 strikeouts for the season. And former Cardinal fan favorite and third base coach Jose "The Secret Weapon" Oquendo, is putting the aggressive running style of his Whitey Herzog Cardinal era into practice.

But the Cardinals' front office also deserves a lot of credit for putting this group of fundamentally sound talent into their organization. Walt Jocketty has done an outstanding job at filling the Cardinals' needs every season in an economical manner. The Cardinals don't have the most money in the league. They don't have the capital to spend as much as the Yankees and Red Sox. And yet the Cardinals always seem to have a stacked lineup.

Jocketty has brought some great talent into St. Louis in his tenure since coming over from Oakland. He was responsible for getting Mark McGwire into St. Louis, insert jeer and sneer here. He got Jim Edmonds into a St. Louis uniform, and it only cost him Kent Bottenfield and Adam Kennedy. And this season, he picked up what the Cardinals have lacked in the playoffs in years past: a playoff-proven, ace caliber pitcher in Mark Mulder. And he did so at the cost of Dan Haren and Kiko Calero.

He has assembled four other starting pitchers that are all capable of performing at a high level in the playoffs, and he hasn't sacrificed a huge portion of his payroll in doing so. The Cardinals' staff made $17.5 million this year. Compare that to the Yankees' staff. Mike Mussina alone makes $19 million and the entire staff makes $64 million.

The difference is in making good gambles. While the Yankees took a $5 million dollar chance on Jaret Wright and a $15.7 million dollar gamble on Kevin Brown, Jocketty chose to take a chance on Chris Carpenter.

Carpenter was coming off of arm surgery and hadn't picked up a baseball in two years. Carpenter turned out to be the steal of a lifetime. In 2004, he made $300,000 and won 15 games before going down just before the playoffs. In 2005, he cost the Cards a measly $2 million and he's had a Cy Young-caliber season while winning 21 games and striking out 213 batters.

But to me, the most impressive move Jocketty has made came this summer. When Edgar Renteria was lured away to Boston by bigger money, and Orlando Cabrera went to Anaheim for a similar figure, I thought the Cardinals would be in trouble at short. Boy, was I wrong. And I'm sure most of you were too. David Eckstein and the Cardinals appear to be the winner in the shortstop carousel.

Although he hit well enough (.276, 8 homers, 70 RBI), Renteria had 30 errors and a .954 fielding percentage, both career lows. Cabrera didn't exactly bash the ball this season (.257, 8 homers, 57 RBI), but he did have a good year in the field.

But neither Renteria nor Cabrera have made an impact like Eckstein. Eckstein has brought the throwback art form of small ball into the forefront of the playoffs. In much the same way he did in 2002 with the Angels championship squad, Eckstein is an igniter for this St. Louis team. And people are beginning to notice his abilities. Eckstein was voted the starting shortstop for the NL in the 2005 All-Star Game. He was the only one of the big three shifting shortstops from this summer that made the all-star team.

Eckstein is everything you want in a player. He works hard, he never gives up, he's scrappy and tenacious, and he loves to play. He does everything for the Cards. He laid down a walk-off squeeze bunt one night and then he came back another night and hit a walk-off grand slam. He plays great defense, he runs well, and he hardly ever strikes out.

Eckstein's infectious winning attitude is nothing out of the ordinary in the Cardinal clubhouse. The team's sense of pride and determination towards the championship has been seen this season in every player from their superstar, Albert Pujols, to some of their rookie and platoon players.

No one can discredit what Pujols' MVP production has meant to this team. However, without the clutch performances of a few of the Cards' reserves, St. Louis would never have won 100 games again this season. The Cards sustained injuries throughout the season to all-stars Scott Rolen, Larry Walker, Reggie Sanders, and Jim Edmonds. But with the help of So Taguchi, rookie John Rodriguez, Abraham Nunez, and John Mabry, St. Louis never missed a step.

The Cardinals are a complete team and are playing their best baseball at the most important time of year. They have a formidable lineup, a solid pitching staff, gold gloves throughout the field, and they could have the NL's MVP and Cy Young. The memories of their 2004 World Series embarrassment are behind them and they're poised for another go. No one wants to run into this team in the playoffs and it's unfortunate for the Padres that they stood in the middle of the train tracks. Because this train is headed for the World Series.

Posted by Chris Cornell at 6:31 PM | Comments (0)

NASCAR Top 10 Power Rankings: Week 29

Note: the quotes in this article are fictional.

1. Tony Stewart — Stewart is back on top of the points after a week's absence, finishing second at Talladega for the second time this year. Stewart rebounded from his 18th-place finish at Dover to reclaim to points lead from Jimmie Johnson, who finished 31st at Talladega.

"At this point, the win is not that important," says Stewart, "unless you're somebody like Dale Jarrett, who's got nothing left to race for except a paycheck. Me, I'm racing for the Cup title, and the fame that comes with it, which I'll use to push my 'Smoke' BBQ sauce to the American public."

Stewart finished 14th at Kansas last year, and a comparable finish would keep him in the top two in points. The whereabouts of Ryan Newman will be on Stewart's mind in Kansas, as Newman is the only driver in range to overtake the points.

2. Ryan Newman — Newman continues to save his best for last, reaching the cusp of the points lead with a fourth-place at Talladega, earning his third top five in three Chase races. Advancing one spot in the rankings to two, Newman trails leader Stewart by only four points.

"And I would have been the leader had NASCAR not bumped me down from third to fourth," complains Newman. "I hate this instant replay deal when the field is frozen at a caution, unless I'm the one being awarded a higher spot. Then I'm okay with it."

Newman remains the biggest surprise of the Chase, nine positions higher than his original starting-place of tenth. If he is to remain near the top, Newman must improve on his 33rd-place finish at Kansas last year.

3. Rusty Wallace — Wallace's 25th-place finish cost him only one position in the points — he fell from second to third. However, he lost 69 points to the lead; before Talladega, Wallace trailed then-leader Jimmie Johnson by seven points. Now, he trails Stewart by 76 points.

"Again, I'd like to thank my old pal Ryan Newman for this," says Wallace. "He caused the wreck that damaged my car, and my title hopes. I don't know what Ryan's more determined to do — win the Cup, or make my final year as miserable as possible."

Wallace could very well gain ground at Kansas Speedway, where he scored top five finishes in 2001 and 2002.

4. Jimmie Johnson — Was Johnson to blame for the accident on lap that involved eight cars and led to Michael Waltrip's somersaulting car?

"That all depends on whom you ask," replies Johnson. "Ask me, and I'll tell you it wasn't my fault. Ask anyone else, including the other 42 drivers in the race, those in attendance, and the millions watching worldwide, and they will tell you, 'Yeah, it was Johnson's fault.' That's not unanimous, so I'm innocent."

Johnson eventually finished 31st, and he dropped from the top of the points to fourth, 82 points behind Stewart. Last year in Kansas, Johnson finished 32nd, then reeled off three straight wins to get himself back in Chase contention.

5. Greg Biffle — Like Wallace, Biffle was victimized by the same wreck that scrapped Wallace, and Biffle finished 27th. He lost only one points position and is now fourth, but lost 75 points to the lead.

"You know," says Biffle, "there's been enough badmouthing going around after Talladega. So, I won't name names. But whoever drives that No. 12 car is a no-driving lunatic. His initials are R.N. and he finished fourth. See, I didn't mention a single name."

The 1.5 mile tri-oval set-up in Kansas should play right into the strengths of the Roush Racing stable. Last year, Biffle finished third there, so he should gain some ground on the leaders.

6. Matt Kenseth — Kenseth finished third at Talladega, leading 23 laps on the way to his best finish ever at the track. He moves up two-places to number seven in the points, 111 behind Stewart.

"I hate to bring up the name Ryan Newman again," says Kenseth. "But he almost stole third-place from me until NASCAR straightened things out after the race. If he's not causing wrecks, he's trying to steal-places."

Kenseth hopes to lead a Roush resurgence at Kansas. Kenseth finished 17th there last year; he needs a vast improvement on that to make headway in the points.

7. Mark Martin — Martin took the biggest hit in the points; he dropped five places to ninth as a result of his 41st-place finish. The No. 6 Ford was collected in the lap 18 pileup triggered by contact between Jimmie Johnson, Elliott Sadler, and Dale Earnhardt.

"The No. 48, the No. 38, and the No. 8 car involved in a crash," says Martin. "And I was behind it all. I guess you would call that 'being behind the eight ball.' And I paid for it."

It was Martin's first finish out of the top ten in three Chase races. He looks to rebound in Kansas, where he has finished 20th in consecutive years.

8. Kurt Busch — Despite his first finish better than 23rd since the Chase started, Busch still lost ground to the points. Busch trailed Jimmie Johnson by 170 pre-Talladega — now, he stands 180 behind Stewart.

"Man, that is discouraging," says Busch. "I finished eighth, and lead a few laps, and I lose ground. Even my good luck is bad. I think I'd rather just finish 43rd if this is what a top ten will get me."

Busch can find hope in the upcoming race at Kansas Speedway. Last year, he finished sixth on his way to the Cup championship.

9. Carl Edwards — Believe it or not, Edwards is ranked higher in the points than three of his four Roush teammates. With his fifth-place at Talladega, Edwards advanced two spots to sixth in the points, ahead of Matt Kenseth, Mark Martin, and Kurt Busch.

"Who says I'm the weak link on this Roush team?" asks Edwards. "Maybe I'm not the fastest Roush driver, but I'm certainly the most talented at avoiding accidents that wreck your Chase standing."

Edwards has two straight top-10 finishes in his Chase quest. In his only Cup start in Kansas, Edwards finished 22nd in the Banquet 400 last year. Expect him to approach the top-15 this time out.

10. Jeremy Mayfield — Mayfield finished 14th at Talladega, following teammate Kasey Kahne in 13th to give Evernham Motorsports two in the top 15. Mayfield is in eighth in the points, 112 out of first, and only 30 away from fourth-place.

"I know it seems like I'm just languishing in the seventh through ninth position," says Mayfield, "but I'm just biding my time. I'm just a country boy from Kentucky, and I talk much slower than I race. I guess you could say I'm laid back."

Well, Jeremy, maybe you should show a little more aggression. Your results so far in the Chase have been solid, with nothing worse than 16th. Solid won't win the Cup — spectacular will.

Mayfield's been more than solid the last two years at Kansas, with a third in 2003 and a fifth in 2004.

Posted by Jeffrey Boswell at 3:59 PM | Comments (0)

October 6, 2005

NFL Weekly Predictions: Week 5

Note: the quotes in this article are fictional.

Baltimore @ Detroit

Isn't the West Coast Offense supposed to be wide open and high scoring? Then why are the Lions averaging only 12 points a game?

"I'll answer that," says Steve Mariucci. "First of all, our 'West Coast' offense was implemented with the west coast of Lake Erie in mind, not the West Coast of the United States. Ours is just not as explosive. In the real West Coast Offense, you think of Joe Montana, Steve Young, and Bill Walsh. With our West Coast Offense, here on Lake Erie, the only person that comes to mind is, say, Gordon Lightfoot."

Too bad your quarterback is not named "Edmund Fitzgerald," because I had a great joke in mind.

"Hey," says Mariucci, "I wish my quarterback was named Edmund Fitzgerald, and not Joey Harrington."

Look Mariucci, don't knock Harrington. He's led your team to a tie for first-place tie in the North. Sure, it's with a 1-2 record, and a passer rating of 57. But look on the bright side: at least your QB situation is better than that of the Ravens, and at least your nose isn't the size of Brian Billick's. At least with Harrington, you know what you're getting: about 150 yards passing and zero to one touchdowns a game.

"Billick does have a large proboscis," quips a distracted Mariucci.

Like the Lions, the Ravens are 1-2, 2 1/2 games down to the undefeated Bengals. With the inability to pass downfield consistently, opposing defenses have stacked the line to stop Jamal Lewis. And that leaves the Ravens no other options except to lose, although they were able to defeat the Jets last week. And this week's game may be just as low scoring as the Jets/Ravens game. Both the Raven and Lion defenses will quickly shut down the opposition's run game, and force the pass, which neither team does well. Don't expect much offense. Expect a game of field position, with the punters and kickers making the difference.

Detroit wins, 12-9.

Chicago @ Cleveland

In Week 3, Chicago's Lovie Smith faced Cincinnati's Marvin Lewis in a contest of teams coached by former defensive coordinators of Super Bowl champions. Smith lost that one, but now he gets his chance to redeem himself against the Browns and coach Romeo Crennel, who called the shots on defense for the world champion Patriots.

"Let's not kid ourselves," says Crennel. "Nobody will be watching this game because of that. Sure, Lovie and myself have a Super Bowl ring, or rings in my case, and three of them to be more specific. But this game is all about our names: Lovie versus Romeo. You might see more than a handshake at the end of the game, but I can guarantee some hard-hitting action on the field. Don't let the names fool you. This is no romance novel."

The Bears are 1-2, tied with the Lions for the NFC North lead, while the Browns are 1-2, tied for last in the AFC North. Chicago averages 17 points a game, and Cleveland checks in with 15 a game, so if you haven't figured out that this will be a defensive struggle, then you're IQ is probably lower than either team's scoring average. The Browns' Trent Dilfer is a Super Bowl-winning quarterback, so I have to give Cleveland a big edge over the Bears, who are quarterbacked by Kyle Orton, fresh out of the Big 10. If the Browns can hold Peyton Manning and the Colts to 13 points, the Orton and the Bears should manage zero or less.

Romeo gets the best of Lovie, and Cleveland reaches .500 with an 18-13 win.

Miami @ Buffalo

"Now, does everyone understand why we got rid of Travis Henry?" asks Bills' coach Mike Mularkey. "The guy had a drug problem, and we knew it. Look, he had a poster of Ricky Williams in his locker, and Travis was always late for meetings that started at 4:20. He was expendable."

And speaking of Ricky Williams, he will make his return from his own drug suspension in Week 6. In the meantime, Williams has watched the Dolphins surge to a 2-1 record, and sole leadership of the AFC East.

"They seem to be doing fine without me," says Williams. "Does anyone mind if I retire? I've got a package to pickup at the airport and a plane to Jamaica to catch. And I feel the sudden urge to sing my fave Bob Marley song, 'No Football, No Cry.'"

Hey, Ricky, you got to do your own thing, but this might be the season to hang around and enjoy the sweet aroma of a Dolphin resurgence.

This was supposed to be the year that Buffalo challenged in the East, but those aspirations have been shattered by the play of J.P. Losman, whose specialty seems to be the 75-yard passing game.

"Someone told me that the initials 'J.P.' stand for 'Juan Pierre,'" notes Bills' coach Mike Mularkey. "Is Losman half Hispanic, half French? That would make sense. Let's see. 50% Hispanic and 50% French. That leaves 0% quarterback. That seems about right."

Mularkey has chosen to yank Losman in favor of back-up Kelly Holcomb, which would simply be a change and not a solution. Besides inadequate quarterbacking, the Buffalo defense can't stop the run, a weakness that plays right into Miami's hands. Rookie Ronnie Brown cracked 100 yards in week 3, and should do the same this Sunday. Miami will get the lead, force the Bills to pass, and attack the quarterback.

Dolphins win, 24-13.

New England @ Atlanta

In their 41-17 loss to the Chargers last week, the Patriots surrendered 24 unanswered points after a 17-17 tie at halftime. What happened?

"I'll tell you what happened," says Patriots' coach Bill Belichick. "Those 24 points weren't unanswered. We answered each and every one of those points. Every time there was a knock at our door, we answered it. And each time, LaDainian Tomlinson was there with an eight-yard run or a 12-yard reception. And we welcomed him with a gaping hole in our defense each time."

The Pats lost at home for the first time since December of 2002, and picked up their second loss, a number they didn't reach until Week 15 last year. By gosh, New England isn't even in first place in their division.

"In this age of 'what have you done for me lately?'" says Tom Brady, "I think it's obvious that we need to fire Coach Belichick. He's a liability, as a coach and as a dresser. He's probably the only coach that sleeps in the same clothes he coaches in. But seriously, Coach will find a way to get us back on the right track. We've pretty much tapped the taxi squad and the scout team of players. Sure, our secondary is being held together with duct tape and airplane glue. We're hoping our opponents will get a whiff of the glue and get a little dizzy."

They don't sniff glue in Atlanta. At least the players don't. Atlanta is 3-1, with the league's best rushing offense, and a defense that held the Eagles to 10 points in Week 1. So, can the Falcons win and drop the Patriots to 2-3, with Michael Vick playing with a sprained knee ligament.

"You bet we can," says Vick, "or my name's not Ron Mexico, when I don't want to blemish the name of Michael Vick."

The Patriots have shown a weakness against the run, giving up nearly 115 yards a game. The Falcons get that, and more. Vick takes a break from running, and throws a TD pass to Alge Crumpler. Warrick Dunn and T.J. Duckett combine for 140 yards.

Atlanta wins, 30-19.

New Orleans @ Green Bay

What's the most shocking news to come out of Green Bay this year? Ahman Green's inability to gain more than three yards a carry? The fact that Mike Sherman still has a job? Green Bay's failure to win a game thus far, including two losses at Lambeau Field?

"Yeah, all that is shocking," says quarterback Brett Favre. "But what's most shocking is the renaming of Lambeau Field. No longer is it Lambeau Field. Now, we're calling it Lambeau and Four Field."

Indeed, the Packers are 0-4 for the first time since 1988, when Lindy Infante was calling the shots. But 0-4 in the NFC North is like 2-2 in a respectable division. In the AFC South or AFC Central, 0-4 would leave you a full four games behind. But in the NFC North, 0-4 means the Packers are only 1 1/2 games back, and only 1/2 in the win column. For those of you who don't quite grasp fractions, 1/2 games back means the division leaders have only one victory. That would be the Lions and Bears setting the pace at 1-2, with the Vikings hot on their mammalian tails at 1-3.

The Saints are 2-2 in the respectable NFC South, which, with the exception of the NFC East, is the most balanced division in the NFL. And that means the Saints could finish 8-8 and be left out of the playoffs, while some team(s) in the NFC North and/or West could win their division with an identical record.

"Yeah, that's sad," says New Orleans coach Jim Haslett. "But tell me. Is this one of our 'home' games?"

Sorry, Jim, it's not. This is Favre's home, and he won't allow the Pack to go 0-5. Favre throws three touchdowns, and Green Bay finally reaches the win column.

Packers win, 31-25.

Seattle @ St. Louis

Does this sound familiar? The Seahawks and Rams are tied for the lead in the NFC West with the unbelievably superior winning percentages of .500? How about this? Rams' coach Mike Martz calling a boneheaded play that may have cost his squad a chance of beating the Giants last week?

"Yeah, that all sounds familiar," says Rams' QB Marc Bulger. "What kind of idiot calls a reverse from their opponents' six yard line in the third quarter down 27-17? I think we all know the answer to that. And my number of pitches, 62, exceeded the pitch count of a starter on the rotation of the St. Louis Cardinals. Tony LaRussa would have pulled me for a reliever in the third quarter. Martz left me in — now my elbow is the size of a basketball. But, I shouldn't complain. We're 2-2, right on schedule for an 8-8 finish that should win this division."

As was the case last year, St. Louis and Seattle will battle to the end for the West crown. Seattle couldn't beat the Rams in three tries last year, including a home wildcard game.

"None of that matters right now," says Settle quarterback Matt Hasselbeck. "We're concentrating on a win in St. Louis, in the Edward "Too Tall" Jones Dome. We're going out there like a flock of Seahawks, and we plan to run. Run the ball, that is, with our man Shaun Alexander."

Both teams will try to establish the run, and the Seahawks are more likely to succeed. But their problems may arise in the passing game. Receivers Bobby Engram and Darrell Jackson are banged up from last week's loss in Washington. Should they be less than 100%, the Rams can concentrate on stopping Alexander. But can they? They haven't stopped anyone yet. Of course, no one has stopped them. So, look for 50 passes from Bulger, and a shootout win for the Rams.

St. Louis wins, 33-30.

Tampa Bay @ N.Y. Jets

The Bucs found that when Cadillac Williams is running like a 1969 Seville and not like a 2005 Coup de Ville, they can fall back on their passing game to get where they are going. "Where they are going" is to the front of the NFC South and a 4-0 record. Williams was slowed not by a faulty alternator, but a sore hamstring, and only managed 13 yards on 11 carries, also known as a three-touchdown day for Jerome Bettis. To pick up Williams' slack, quarterback Brian "The Plymouth Reliant K" threw for two touchdowns, including an 80-yard TD bomb to Joey "The Dodge Viper" Galloway.

"Brian is just like his dad, Bob," says Tampa's John Gruden. "He's steady, not spectacular. He kind of looks less like a quarterback and more like a kicker. He's a lot like Jets' quarterback Vinny Testaverde, just about eight steps quicker."

And speaking of Testaverde, Vinny's back with the Jets, after the Brooks Bollinger experiment lasted longer than anyone thought it would — one game.

"At least I didn't blow my shoulder out," says Bollinger.

"Brooks just didn't work out for us," says Jets' coach Herman Edwards. "14-for-28 passing just doesn't cut it in the NFL. Those are pretty good numbers for Vince Carter from the field for the Nets, but not for a QB. Vinny's now our man. I know he's experienced more resurrections than Jason Voorhees of Friday the 13th fame, but we feel like he's got a lot of game left in him."

Testaverde may be the best thing to happen to the Jets since Chad Pennington's injury. At 1-3, the Jets desperately need a win, especially since the Giants are 3-1, and Giants' fans are getting the best of Jets' fans. But would it be sensible to pick the Jets and Testaverde to overcome the NFL's best defense? No, it would not. The Bucs score on defense, and Brian Griese hits Michael Pittman, in for the injured Williams, for a touchdown.

Tampa Bay wins, 20-7.

Tennessee @ Houston

Steve McNair fondly recalls his days as a Houston Oiler before the Oilers packed up and moved to Nashville.

"Hey, there's nothing more satisfying than wearing a helmet with an oil rig on it," says McNair. "I knew exactly what I was — I was an Oiler. Now, here in Tennessee, I've got some logo on the side of my head, and I have no idea what it is. I know a Titan is something big, but what is it? And, what's a 'Packer' for that matter?"

Well, Stunning Steve, I don't know what a Titan or a Packer is, nor do I care. But, I can tell you what a Texan is. That's a person who lives in Texas. And, judging by Houston's 0-3 record and anemic offense, anyone living in the state of Texas qualifies to play for them, and you don't have to be a football player.

"Hey, that statement about our anemic offense is offensive," says Houston coach Dom Capers, "to people with anemia. I have no problem with it. Our offense stinks. I was just analyzing the NFL standings earlier. Do you realize that if the playoffs started today, we wouldn't make them?"

Dom, I think it's safe to say that whenever the playoffs start, you won't make them.

Houston may be the league's worst team, averaging only eight points a game in their three losses. Until their offensive line can give David Carr some protection, the Texans can't do much of anything. McNair throws three touchdowns and the Titans edge the home-standing Texans 22-21.

Indianapolis @ San Francisco

Peyton Maning and the Colts finally found their offense last week against the Titans, exploding for 31 points in a 31-10 win. Manning threw for four TDs to raise his season total to six, which is five fewer than his total after four games last year, and three fewer than his brother Eli has so far this year.

"Wow! I had 11 TDs after four games last year?" asks Manning. "That just proves what an incredibly awesome year I had last year. As for Eli ... my dad, heck, my mother, could toss four TDs against the Rams. That's easy. Anyway, if I threw eight touchdowns against San Fran, I'll be back on my record pace of 14 TD passes after five game. I figure if Donovan McNabb can throw for five touchdowns in three quarters against the 49ers, then I should easily reach eight in four quarters of action against said team. Then, of course, I'll have to hear from the whiners about running up the score. But this is the NFL. Records were made to be broken, and scores were made to be ran up."

Rookie Alex Smith has been given the start against the Colts and their defensive line that boasts three of the top-11 sack leaders in the league.

"Do I have the option to decline the start?" asks Smith. "Can't I invoke the 'Fear For My Life' clause? I'm sure that's in my contract, right after the part about the $20 million signing bonus."

Smith has his rookie jitters cured — when he's knocked out of the game in the second quarter. By that time, Manning has two touchdowns, on his way to four for the day.

Indianapolis wins, 38-8.

"I bet Eli doesn't even have one touchdown today," quips Manning. "I'm the best Manning."

Carolina @ Arizona

"I'd like to congratulate Arizona for their victory over San Francisco in the 'Burrito Bowl' last week," says Carolina coach John Fox. "But now that their run to the border and back is complete, they've got the Carolina Panthers to answer to. I don't know if Dennis Green and his crew are aware of this, but the cardinal in the state bird of North Carolina, and we don't appreciate the evil-looking cardinal painted on the side of their helmets."

The Cardinals beat the 49ers 31-14 in Mexico City, as Josh McCown passed for a career-high 385 yards, and two touchdowns.

"Just a warning to the Manning brothers," says McCown. "My brother Luke and I combined for two TDs on Sunday. That's only six behind you Manning boys. We're coming for you. Of course, it would help if my brother would get some playing time."

The Panthers survived a Monday night scare at home, nearly blowing a 26-7 lead to the Packers before winning 32-29. Carolina improved to 2-2, trailing the 4-0 Bucs and 3-1 Falcons in the South. The Panthers will hope to get more out of wide receiver Steve Smith, who had only two catches versus the Packers. Smith should vastly improve on those numbers against the Arizona defense, which has given up 110 points in four games.

Stephen Davis rushes for two touchdowns, and Delhomme hits Smith for a touchdown.

Panthers win, 29-17.

Philadelphia @ Dallas

I guess the Eagles answered the question many of us have been asking: is the Kansas City Chiefs' defense improved?

"Man, that's funny," says Donovan McNabb, laughing uncontrollably. "That's so funny, I'm gonna bust a gut laughing."

McNabb should know. He lit up the league's fifth-worst defense with three second half touchdowns, as the Eagles scored 31 unanswered points to defeat the Chiefs 37-31. All done while McNabb nursed chest, abdominal, and shin injuries. So, to answer the question: no, the Chiefs' defense is not improved.

So, a week after defeating the Indians, the Eagles will head to Dallas to attempt to dismiss the Cowboys. Dallas is 2-2, so a loss to the Eagles would put the 'Boys down two games to the Eagles, and possibly 2 1/2 to the Redskins.

Last year, McNabb lit up the Cowboys in Dallas for four touchdowns in a 49-21 victory. This time, McNabb throws for three, and Terrell Owens catches two of those. After the second, Owens races to the Dallas sideline and poses on the Dallas star — on the side of the helmet of Keyshawn Johnson.

"While he's still wearing it!" boasts Owens. "I love me some me."

Eagles win, 31-24.

The following week, McNabb appears on PBS' Sesame Street, on a segment with the characters Bert and Hernia.

Washington @ Denver

Joe Gibbs is coaching the Redskins, and the 'Skins are playing Denver? I think I know how this one turns out. The Broncos race out to a 10-0, only to be stunned by 42 unanswered points from the Redskins.

"Wait a minute, pal," corrects Gibbs. "You're confusing the current 'Skins with the 1987 'Skins, who blasted Denver in Super Bowl XX. That squad was led by quarterback Doug Williams and running back Timmy Smith, who rushed for a Super Bowl record 204 yards."

Thanks for the history lesson, Mr. Gibbs. How about a few Civil War stories? You were alive then, right? Just goofing with you, Joe. You're still a football genius. Hey, is that Timmy Smith the same one that just got slammed for buying cocaine from an undercover cop?

"Yes, unfortunately, that was Timmy," laments Gibbs.

Was he using back then? That would explain how he could rush for 204 yards in the Super Bowl, then disappear from the face of the Earth.

The 2005 Broncos have won three straight to take sole possession of the AFC West, which makes coach Mike Shanahan a very happy man, although even when he's happy, he looks like he would snap your head off. Denver has been winning with defense and a powerful running game, led by Mike Anderson. Denver manhandled a good Jacksonville defense last week, rushing for 188 yards in a 20-7 win. They probably won't beat that number against the Redskins, but the Bronco defense will make that unnecessary.

Denver forces three Mark Brunell turnovers, and the Broncos hand Washington ther first defeat.

Denver wins, 22-9.

Cincinnati @ Jacksonville

Did Chad Johnson really go touchdown-less against the winless Texans last week? He did?

"Ahhh-haaaa!" says Jaguar coach Jack Del Rio. "That's what you get for doing a silly Riverdance touchdown celebration in those loud Bengals' uniforms that look like something Liberace would wear on Halloween. I'm Jack Del Rio, and I've got the coolest name in sports, except for that of funny car drag racer John Force. Therefore, I've got my finger on the pulse of what's hip and what's not. I know cool, and Chad Johnson's not cool."

Well, this Sunday night, Johnson's will have the ESPN Sunday night audience at his disposal, and he's surely anxious to add a name to his checklist of cornerbacks he's burned for touchdowns.

"Oh, somebody's getting the check," says Johnson. "It could be Rashean Mathis or Kenny Wright. And when I score that touchdown, you all will see that I sacrificed a ballet career to be an NFL superstar. Do y'all know what a pirouette is?"

The Jags could do all of the AFC North a favor by handing the Bengals their first defeat. They could also do themselves a huge favor with a win. A loss, and they will have suffered two conference losses at home, which could be devastating come playoff time. Also, they would fall a full three games down to the Colts in the South, assuming the Colts beat San Francisco.

"And my money's on the Colts," says former Cincinnati Red Pete Rose, a big Bengals fan, especially when they cover the spread.

Jacksonville plays inspired football, urged on by the words of Del Rio. Byron Leftwich throws two touchdowns, and Fred Taylor rushes for 100 yards.

The Jags hand the Bengals their first defeat, 23-16.

Pittsburgh @ San Diego

"It's about time they put me back on Monday Night Football," says super-Charger LaDainian Tomlinson. "I'm the best player in the NFL. Just ask the Patriots. And the Chargers and I are rolling."

Indeed, the Chargers are the hottest 2-2 team in football, fresh off a huge 41-17 road win over the Patriots. L.T. rushed for 134 yards against the Pats, with two TDs, and he leads the NFL in rushing touchdowns with eight.

"Hey, the Steelers and my Chargers have a common opponent," says San Diego coach Marty Schottenheimer. "The Patriots. We beat them 41-17. The Steelers lost to them 23-20. By my calculations, we should whip the Steelers 64-3."

"Suffering succotash," says Bill Cowher. "I'm in a quandary."

What, Bill? Jerome Bettis and Duce Staley are healthy now, and, with Willie Parker the starter, you can't decide how much playing time to give Bettis and Staley?

"Huh? Yeah, I guess I do have decisions to make," says Cowher. "But the quandary I was referring to was the pronunciation of the Chargers' stadium, Qu ... Qua ... Qual ... Oh, I give up!"

It's "Qualcomm," Bill. I know your lower jaw sometimes gets in the way of words, but if you can say "quandary," you can say "Qualcomm." Go ahead, try it. Think of 200 yards rushing and a shutout.

"Qualcomm," says Cowher. "I did it!"

Monday night's game could have playoff implications down the road. The AFC West is wide open, so home victories are imperative to the Chargers' cause. With a win, the Steelers would keep pace with the North-leading Bengals. And should the Chargers and Steelers find themselves vying for a wildcard spot in December, this game could be the deciding factor.

Tomlinson cherishes this Monday night stage, and even though the Steelers commit to stopping L. T. on the ground, they can't stop the league's best pass-catching running back. Tomlinson catches a long TD pass from Drew Brees, and the San Diego defense holds the Steelers in check.

Chargers win, 24-21.

Posted by Jeffrey Boswell at 5:20 PM | Comments (3)

MLB's Season-Ending Races Live Up to Hype

Some say that the same teams in 2005 that succeeded to reach the postseason in Major League Baseball in 2004 are old-hat. But this year, unlike past seasons, the road to success was nothing but routine for several of these perennial winners.

Although this was the third year in a row that the New York Yankees and the Boston Red Sox battled it out for the American League East title, they both did so huffing and puffing to the finish line. Likewise, the Chicago White Sox and the Cleveland Indians kept it interesting up until the final weekend of the season in determining the winner of the American League Central Division.

And in the end, Cleveland came up short in knocking the Red Sox out of the postseason, when Boston seized the American League wildcard on the very last day of the season. The Houston Astros, almost with a mirror image of last season's, needed every last game in holding off the Philadelphia Phillies for the National League's wildcard contest.

In contrast, the St. Louis Cardinals clinched the National League Central Division title way back on September 17th, with the Atlanta Braves following suit with the National League East Division title on September 27th. The Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim, while not having an entirely easy season, had breathing room while also clinching the American League West title on September 27th. And the San Diego Padres limped across their finish line, securing the National League West title on September 28th, clinging to the hope they would at least end the season with a record above .500, which they did with two games above.

The win-loss records of division and wildcard winners also look quite similar in terms of numbers. The Yankees, the Red Sox, and the Angels all finished with the identical number of wins and losses of 95-67. Atlanta had a 90-72 record, Houston with an 89-73 record, and lastly, San Diego with an 82-80 record. The Cardinals finished with the best record in MLB at 100-62 and the White Sox held the best record for most of the season, while finishing at 99-63.

But it is worth it to look beyond the numbers to get a better picture of what they actually mean over the course of the season. While no team was immune from injuries, there were controversies as well overcoming adversities, in spite of their good returns. A multitude of injuries, including key players in their starting lineups, contributed to the difficulties that several of these teams suffered.

Most notably, for example, the Yankees were without four-fifths of their starting rotation at some point throughout the season. They lost the services of Carl Pavano for the last half of the season, Jaret Wright was lost for most of the season until the last couple of weeks, and Kevin Brown was lost permanently. Mike Mussina was on the DL for two months with an inflamed elbow, and was not in command of his pitches on several outings. Manager Joe Torre was extremely lucky in replacing his rotation with the likes of minor-leaguer Chien-Win Wang, retread Aaron Small with a 10-0 record with the Yankees, and former Colorado Rockies' pitcher Shawn Chacon. The trio combined won 25 games for NY and were the glue that held them together.

The Angels and the Braves missed the offensive talents of outfielder Garret Anderson and third baseman Chipper Jones, respectively, with their extended visits to the DL. And the Houston Astros lost veteran clutch hitter Jeff Bagwell to elbow surgery in June, only to reappear in the last two weeks of the season as a pinch hitter. The Padres lost second baseman, Mark Loretta for a good chunk of the season, as well.

While the Red Sox were able to welcome back World Series 2004 pitching hero Curt Schilling from offseason ankle surgery, he remained a question mark for most of the season. He spent a good part of it in the bullpen as he continued to recover. His pitching prowess of old has yet to return as he only just started games in the last couple of weeks of the season. Pitching closer and bullpen ace of 2004, Keith Foulke, was lost on the mound for a good part of the year with knee problems, and is not a factor for the postseason as he opted to have surgery the last week of the season. In addition, the perennial controversy revolving around slugger Manny Ramirez reared its head again, this time at the All-Star Break, when it was rumored Boston was looking to trade him.

Ozzie Guillen, manager of the White Sox, seemed to be a magnet for controversy all season, with his quotes in the press about his players, players on other teams, as well as his impulsive comments to the media. The White Sox also squandered the 15-game lead they held over the Cleveland Indians in mid-August in the AL Central and were just able to eek out the division title despite owning the best record in baseball for most of the season.

Ozzie was able to lean on his starting pitchers, Jon Garland (18-10), Mark Buehrle (16-8), and also turned around Jose Contreras (15-7), a former Yankee whose career was sputtering. The White Sox played what Ozzie called "small ball" all season and won the majority of their games without a formidable offense. Ozzie's shoot-from-the-hip style of communicating is perhaps his indirect way of lighting a fire under his players. If so, it worked.

San Diego was largely regarded as an embarrassment to the National League as it was deemed that the NL West division champs won by default. With its lack of division competition, San Diego has made some in the press wonder if they could win in the postseason. And for that, the club goes into it with a proverbial chip on its shoulders. Perhaps it will prove to be a silver lining, with less pressure and expectation. After all, no one expects anything from the Padres and if they are even moderately successful, they will be praised.

The Cardinals seemingly had the easiest trip to the postseason, but they have a lot to prove. They were steamrolled in the 2004 World Series by the Red Sox, with the press already anointing them World Champions mid-way through the 2004 season. They must return to the postseason with resolve, on course for redemption and must do it with less of a power punch than expected. Albert Pujols, while carrying the club all season, has been nursing a nagging leg injury for a couple of months. And they will be without third baseman Scott Rolen, lost again to shoulder surgery.

Perhaps the biggest surprise this postseason brings is the Astros. The last time a team has ever made it to the postseason after starting the season with a 15-30 record was in 1914 with the Boston Braves. But certainly to manager Phil Garner, it smacks of normalcy as his team had a similar scenario after the All-Star Break in 2004 when they were 10.5 games behind the NL Central's Cardinals and fifth in line for the wildcard. Garner then brought the Astros to within one game of winning the NL pennant.

The difference this year, though, is a healthy Andy Pettitte in the starting rotation, complementing Roger Clemens and Roy Oswalt. Pettitte was nominated for Comeback Player of the Year following his August 2004 elbow surgery and won NL Pitcher of the Month in both July and September, going 17-9 on the year with a 2.39 ERA and going 13-2 since July. Rookie of the Year candidate outfielder Willy Taveras also was a welcome surprise both offensively and on the base paths.

So, we need not obsess with stat after stat to know that the 2005 baseball season has been different than others in the past. There were arguably many more underlying stories rather than game strategies on the diamond this year. This was a season about heart and soul and about digging down deep in overcoming adversity for individual players, managers, and teams alike. Most played and managed with guts and determination. And this postseason may prove even more exciting than most, if the regular season is any indication. Batter up!

Posted by Diane M. Grassi at 3:54 PM | Comments (1)

October 5, 2005

NBA Preseason Power Rankings

1. San Antonio Spurs [59-23] — The defending champs come into the season at the top spot, bringing back Tim Duncan, Tony Parker, Manu Ginobili, in addition to Michael Finley and a backcourt that now has handle like Nick Van Exel. The Dynasty continues...

2. Detroit Pistons [54-28] — Detroit came within 48 minutes of winning back-to-back champships, but had to retire the championship belts for a year. They shouldn't lose a step with Flip Saunders at the helm, and until someone knocks them off, they remain the Beasts of the East.

3. Miami Heat [59-23] — Shaq and Dwayne Wade have some new weapons as J-Dub, James Posey, and Antoine Walker shimmy their way down to South Beach. Stan Van Gundy is still head coach, but he will have a tough task ahead satisfying all of his gunners with shot attempts, but talent alone can carry this team back to the conference finals.

4. Indiana Pacers [44-38] — Welcome back, welcome back, welcome back ... Indiana's "Bad Boy" will be back for the Pacers and expect Ron Artest to terrify opposing fans — in a good way — with stifling defense and that missing component that could propel Indy to the NBA's elite.

5. Phoenix Suns [62-20] — Steve Nash had a once in a lifetime season last year, but suffered some loses with Joe Johnson heading to the ATL and Q now in NYC. But Kurt Thomas gives them some more beef down low and Amare Stoudemire is getting scarier by the season. Sixty-two wins might be a reach this season, but don't expect Phoenix's run-'n-gun to slow down too much.

6. Houston Rockets [51-31] — Can the Real Yao Ming please stand up? One moment, it's a flash of brilliance followed by a stupid turnover or getting dunked on by Stromile Swift. T-Mac is in the best shape of his career and its time for the Rockets to make that move towards a western conference final.

7. Dallas Mavericks [58-24] — The Mavs are no longer the team of three years ago as only Dirk Nowitzki remains from that core But they have replaced Nash and Finley in the meantime with talent that any other team would dream of: Jason Terry, Jerry Stackhouse, and Josh Howard, who will provide more than enough firepower, but this may be their last stand before Mark Cuban finally has to rethink his strategy with this team.

8. Denver Nuggets [49-33] — Carmelo Anthony and Co. seem to have righted the ship after a rocky beginning to last season and expect Andre Miller and K-Mart to aid in helping the Nuggets take a mile-high leap this year.

9. Sacramento Kings [50-32] — They no longer are the title contenders they were in the beginning of the 21st century, but Bonzi Wells and Shareef Abdul-Rahim should provide Peja Stojakovic with some help he was sorely missing last season.

10. New Jersey Nets [42-40] — Jason Kidd still doesn't have his power forward, but combined with R.J. and Vince Carter, the three make the most exciting backcourt trio in the league. The high-flying act should return to the Meadowlands this season, but they will face big road blocks when Indiana, Miami, and Detroit come to town.

11. Cleveland Cavaliers [42-40] — LeBron James looks like he finally has a good supporting cast and playoffs should be a given. Now it's time for the wonder-kid to show he has that M.J.-like ability to carry his team to unforeseen heights.

12. Washington Wizards [45-37] — One of the biggest surprises from last season treaded water this summer and added Antonio Daniels and Caron Butler, but like the Nets, Cavs, and Bulls, lack the big presence in the post to be considered with the big three in the East.

13. Chicago Bulls [47-35] — The Baby Bulls sure did grow up last season and Kirk Hinrich, Ben Gordon, and Tyson Chandler will look to bring the fans back to the United Center full-time this fall. Eddy Curry may be leaving town, but Chi-fans should anticipate another postseason berth.

14. Philadelphia 76ers [43-39] — Just like Chicago and Washington snuck up on the east last season, expect Philly to do the same. A.I. is still one of the best players in the NBA and A.I. 2 (Andre Iguodala) will only get better. Throw in young guns like Kyle Korver, Samuel Dalembert, Louis Williams, and the ageless Chris Webber and the 76ers will once again give teams fits throughout the league.

15. Los Angeles Lakers [34-48] — Kobe Bryant showed last year that no matter what went down, he still is one of the best players of his era. With Phil Jax coming back, perhaps the rest of the new Lakers will catch on and revive Showtime one more time.

16. New York Knicks [33-49] — Larry Brown has some nice tools to work with in Stephon Marbury, Jamal Crawford, and youngsters Channing Frye and Nate Robinson. Now it's time for him to work his magic and get NY back into the postseason.

17. Memphis Grizzlies [45-37] — "Mr. Logo" Jerry West finally parted ways with Jason Williams and Bonzi Wells and replaced them with the more consistent play of Damon Stoudamire and Eddie Jones. Hakim Warrick should take over Stromile's spot on the nightly highlight reel and Pau Gasol is always a legitimate all-star candidate.

18. Seattle SuperSonics [52-30] — The nicest surprise out west took a step backwards this offseason and Ray Allen and Rashard Lewis will have to work extra hard to prove last season wasn't a fluke. If Nick Collison and Luke Ridnour can live up to their draft expectations, things may not fall down that quickly in the Pacific Northwest.

19. Minnesota Timberwolves [44-38] — Oh, how the mighty have fallen. Last year's disaster was a major blow to the franchise and now like Coldplay, K.G. seemingly has to start from Square One. Wally World and Eddie Griffin return, but an MVP-type performance from Garnett will be their only chance to make some noise out West.

20. Golden State Warriors [34-48] — Perhaps the team in the West with the best shot to sneak up on everybody, Chris Mullin may have finally righted the ship in Oaktown. Lil' Dunleavy, Baron Davis, and J-Rich provide scoring punch, while Ike Diogu, Chris Taft, and Monta Ellis comprise a trio of solid young athletes off the bench. If imports Mickael Pietrus and Andris Biedrins can add a little spark as well, watch out.

21. Boston Celtics [45-37] — The defending Atlantic Division champs no longer have employee No. 8, but P-Double remains one of the best scorers in the conference. Gerald Green, Qyntel Woods, and Al Jefferson will have to mature quickly though or even all of Ricky Davis' shenanigans won't keep this team above a possible eighth-seed.

22. Los Angeles Clippers [37-45] — Sam Cassell has promised the playoffs, and with Elton Brand, Corey Maggette, and Cuttino Mobley, he might be not that far off. Perhaps the biggest thing going against them is that well, they are the Clippers.

23. Orlando Magic [36-46] — Things started out nicely for O-Town, but then the team collapsed like a fat kid sitting on a tower of legos. Steve Francis, Grant Hill, Doug Christie, and Dwight Howard are a nice foursome to build around, but if you're counting on Hedo Turkoglu and DeShawn Stevenson for major contributions, your team is in trouble.

24. Milwaukee Bucks [30-52] — They've got Andrew Bogut, Michael Redd, and Desmond Mason, but after that, Milwaukee sorely lacks in comparison to the rest of the league. Unless they bring back the green-striped throwbacks and Sidney Moncrief, the Big O, or Kareem Abdul-Jabbar come back, the Bucks should end up back in the lottery.

25. Utah Jazz [26-56] — Jerry Sloan has been known to work wonders, but when the re-acquisition of Greg Ostertag is your major off-season transaction, things don't look so bright. AK47 and Booz should enjoy Deron Williams running the show, but he has a big shadow to crawl out from.

26. Atlanta Hawks [13-69] — For such an exciting town, it's about time they get an exciting team. Dunk champ Josh Smith has bulked up, Salim Stoudamire and Marvin Williams bring with them a winning tradition from college, and Joe Johnson will get his chance to be named along the league's best two-guards, but will it be enough for Atlanta to turn this beleaguered franchise into a winner?

27. Portland Trail Blazers [27-55] — The team formerly known as the Jail Blazers is shooting for a new image and Martell Webster, Sebastian Telfair, and Jarrett Jack will lead the way. If Zack Randolph can consistently be a force down low and D. Miles plays like the No. 3 pick he was supposed to be, Portland may not be that far off from making some of the best fans in the league forget about the disasters of years past.

28. Charlotte Bobcats [18-64] — Nelly is a heck of a marketer, drafting Carolina's Raymond Felton and Sean May, but they will find life a lot harder outside of Tobacco Road. Emeka Okafor should continue to grow into an all-star, but the Bobcats face a major "dilemma" as you look at the rest of the roster.

29. New Orleans Hornets [18-64] — The team that everyone will be rooting for faces the biggest challenge of the season. Forced out of their home, Chris Paul, J.R. Smith, and the rest of the Hornets have the odds immensely stacked against them. It'd be nice to see them put up some W's and make a run at an eighth-seed, but that is easier said than done.

30. Toronto Raptors [33-49] — The Raps still have Chris Bosh and Jalen Rose, but this isn't a game of NBA Jam, so those two will need a lot of help from unexpected places. Charlie Villanueva will have to show some skill quick or else they could become Rudy Gay fans very quick north of the border.

Posted by Seth Berkman at 5:29 PM | Comments (1)

Five Reasons to Watch the NHL

In case you didn't hear about it (and Martha Burk is doing her best to make sure that you do), the NHL is back from its lockout of stupidity and looking to break the ice with fans new and old. It's not your dad's NHL — or even your older brother's — but a sleeker, sexier, faster NHL. Or at least that's what their marketing team wants you to believe.

Will they be successful? They certainly have the means to be — it'll come down to execution to see if everything works. Here are five reasons why the NHL might be better than ever:

1) Bye Bye, Obstruction

Boy, Gary Bettman and Co. really mean it this time. Seriously. Honestly. They promise. This time, it's for real. The annual crackdown on obstruction gets another go. This time, head of officiating Stephen Walkom says that it will stick. Why? Because every official's job, along with the league's popularity, is on the line. This time, it might actually work though. Almost every player (sans slowpoke gripers like Derian Hatcher) have stated their support of the zero tolerance rule standard. They know that a faster game means more entertainment for fans. And that translates into revenue which, of course, the players now get a portion of.

2) New Faces, New Places

Peter Forsberg's in Philly. J.R.'s gone Hollywood. Someone named [Paul] Kariya decided to explore Music City. What's happened? Parity and a salary cap — exactly what Gary Bettman promised small-market clubs. After the CBA was signed, an unprecedented three-week period of free agent signings brought headlines to non-traditional hockey markets such as Nashville and Columbus. Former big budget teams, such as Detroit and Colorado, openly wept over the salary cap crunch. The bottom line? More star players scattered further throughout the league, meaning more parity, and more competition — and hopefully, a better product.

3) The Kids Are All Right

Hello, Sidney Crosby, Alexander Ovechkin, Jeff Carter, Kari Lehtonen, and some of the most talented rookies in a single NHL entry class. Of course, it's actually two rookie classes instead of one, but that's just a technicality. Combine that with a group of young veterans such as Ilya Kovalchuk, Rick Nash, Vincent Lecavalier, and Jarome Iginla, and suddenly, the NHL appears to be in good hands. We'll notice on the ice — will the NHL marketing team handle it correctly?

4) No More Ugly Ties

Hockey purists cringe, but the shootout is in. Of course, when don't hockey purists cringe? They cringed when the league expanded past six teams, then to 21, then to 30. They cringed when the rover was removed from the ice, when goalie gear was allowed to expand, and now that it's going back down. Even now, Harry Sinden is whining about how clutching and grabbing is part of the game. Wake up folks, sports is evolutionary. More importantly, it's entertainment. Shootouts are entertaining — at least to the masses. And catering to the masses is the only way the NHL will grow.

5) See You Next Week

You know those critical four-point games between division rivals coming down the stretch in February and March? Well, they're about to be a lot more critical — and common. The NHL has revamped its schedule to boost the amount of inter-division play from six games to eight games. Unfortunately, he amount of cross-division play is being sacrificed, as the league moves towards a rotating division system similar to the NFL's. Some teams will be missed — the Leafs, Rangers, and Red Wings are a big draw wherever they go — but many fans will salivate to get another go at their most hated local rival, especially if it means another opportunity to bury their opponent further.

Posted by Mike Chen at 4:46 PM | Comments (1)

Michelle Wie Turns Pro: Good Idea?

Michelle Wie will become a professional golfer this week at the ripe of age of 16. Upon her decision to forego amateur status, Wie stands to cash in on approximately $7 million worth of endorsements. This will make her the highest paid and valued female golfer in the world. She will also have an opportunity to cash in on prize money for her finishes in LPGA Tour events. Additionally, she can charge appearance fees to play in tournaments that are not on the LPGA Tour schedule, such as an event in Japan she will play in November.

Again, she is 16 years of age. Wie is not much older than Carmen Bandea, the 15-year-old from Georgia who unsuccessfully attempted to challenge the LPGA Tour age ceiling for full-time exempt status. Alas, though, I reluctantly lend my support to Michelle Wie in her decision to turn pro.

Why? Well, there are a lot of reasons.

First, unlike Bandea, Michelle Wie has continually demonstrated that she has the ability to sustain herself as a professional golfer. If you saw Michelle Wie play at all on the LPGA Tour this year, you had an opportunity to see only a glimpse of what is sure to come from Wiesy. She finished solo second at the LPGA Championship and had a legit chance to win both the Kraft-Nabisco and the U.S. Women's Open. Carmen hasn't seen the top 20 of a LPGA Tour leaderboard.

Despite turning pro, Wie will maintain her current schedule load. She will only play in the six events she is allowed to play in per season under LPGA Tour rules for non-exempt players. It is likely with her play that she can earn a Tour card next season. But, she will not be able to take full advantage of that status until she is 18. In the meantime, she can rack up experience (and potentially victories) at the professional level while acquainting to the pressure and lifestyle of professional golf.

Although I take the following with a grain of salt, Michelle Wie and her father B.J. continue to say that Michelle will finish high school and continue on to college. Obviously, Wie will no longer be able to play for her academic institution because she is no longer an amateur. But, it is refreshing to hear that Wie still maintains that she would like to complete her education to some reasonable length. She may drop out of high school next fall, but at least for now, the Wie's commitment to education is commendable.

Money is obviously the motivating factor in all of this. It was also the motivating factor for the Bandea family to challenge Commish Ty Votaw. The difference between Michelle and Carmen is that there is monetary incentive from the get-go to become a professional. Wie is incredibly popular, well-known, and easily marketable.

The $7 million she stands to make this week will still be there in a couple of years. This may lead one to counter and ask as to why Michelle Wie will turn pro at this point in her life. It's a good question. The answer is essentially the same argument that college basketball stars enter the NBA early — the "what if" game. Michelle could drop off in talent like Beth Bauer, or sustain a trying injury, or any number of factors, which may decrease the value of her stock in the years to come. She can cash in now and take the pressure off and mystery out of her move to the LPGA Tour. At least Wie has a stock value to cash in — the same could not be said for Carmen Bandea.

The only real downside for Michelle regards her attempts to become the first woman to play in the Masters. Wie will no longer be an amateur golfer, which will close the loopholes to the Masters — winning the U.S. Amateur or U.S. Amateur Public Links events. Instead, if Wie wishes to make her dreams come true, she will have to do it via the PGA Tour. It will be extremely difficult to do, but if Wie were somehow able to pull it off, then her legend would be undying.

So, all in all, Wie's move will not change much for the golf fan. We'll get to see her just as much, except she'll be allowed to take checks home. Beyond that, it's the same ole Wiesy, minus the (A) next to her name.

Posted by Ryan Ballengee at 4:33 PM | Comments (1)

October 4, 2005

NFL Week 4 Power Rankings

Five Quick Hits

* The last time Cincinnati opened 4-0, the Bengals went to Super Bowl XXIII. The last time Washington started 3-0, it won the Super Bowl. So obviously, this February, it's Washington over Cincy.

* Gerry Austin clearly has a different definition of "indisputable visual evidence" than I do.

* Jimmy Smith broke three tackles on his touchdown scamper this weekend. Nine years after his first 1,000-yard season, he's still one of the league's best wide receivers.

* Current division leaders: Cincinnati, Indianapolis, Miami, Denver, Chicago, Tampa Bay, Washington, Seattle. That will change before the end of the season, but I guarantee that no one picked those eight teams.

* It is time for television networks to stop using the "worst-seat-in-the-house" camera on kickoff returns. We can't see anything from that view.

***

The first NFL regular-season game ever played outside the United States took place in Mexico City on Sunday night. A record crowd of over 100,000 showed up, made itself heard, and remained late into the game when the contest had become a blowout.

For as many things as went well, those of us who see the glass as half-empty had plenty to keep us satisfied. Topping the list were the remarkably ugly "fútbol americano" helmet decals. I'm not just here to complain, though, so here's some constructive advice. First, the decals should not have been ugly. Second, they should not have been green. Third, no one but the 49ers and Cardinals should have worn them.

I also question how much of a home game this was for the Cardinals. Their commute was significant, and the crowd's support of the "home" team was mixed. I know crowds in Arizona are often comprised largely of visiting fans, but it's still a shame. The NFL also should have chosen a faster officiating crew for the game. The biggest complaint international sports fans have with football is that the game is boring — it's too slow. But 40 minutes after kickoff, the first quarter wasn't half over yet, and I bet a lot of potential fans tuned out for something with more consistent action, like that other "football." A game between two teams that aren't the worst in the NFL might have been a nice nod to the people of Mexico City, as well. Why not Dallas/Oakland?

All in all, Sunday night's experiment seemed to go well, but it had a circus atmosphere that didn't seem to mix with meaningful football. I hope the NFL will be moderate and cautious about its plans for any further regular-season games outside the USA.

On to the power rankings. As always, brackets show previous rank.

1. Indianapolis Colts [1] — Allowed a season-high 10 points, but continues to top the NFL in scoring defense. The offense finally showed up against Tennessee's dismal defense, and the Colts looked like a real Super Bowl team for the first time this season. One of the most impressive stats from Sunday's win: only one penalty. They should win each of their next three games by double-digits.

2. Pittsburgh Steelers [3] — I'm not thrilled about having them this high, but they can earn it with a win in San Diego next Monday night. That game was looking like a dud after Week 2, when Pitt was atop the power rankings and the Chargers hadn't won a game, but now it looks like a matchup that could play a big role in determining the AFC playoff picture.

3. Cincinnati Bengals [4] — Fourth in scoring, second in points allowed per game, first in the NFL in point differential. The offense continues to get the glory, but check out the other side of the ball, too. The defense is only 10th in total defense, which is good, but not spectacular. However, the team hasn't allowed more than one touchdown in a game this season and leads the NFL in turnovers (17) by a wide margin. Next week, the Bengals can prove they're for real by winning at Jacksonville.

4. Atlanta Falcons [5] — A mighty pass defense lives in Atlanta, led by Rod Coleman and DeAngelo Hall. Against Minnesota, the Falcons got nine sacks, two interceptions, and a fumble recovery. They held the Vikings to 4.6 yards per pass and 1-for-10 on third downs. I won't vouch for them against teams that can run the ball and stop the run, but Atlanta's pass defense looks like the best the NFL has seen since at least the 2002 Bucs.

5. Philadelphia Eagles [6] — This is a great team. It would be ridiculous to deny that. But there's no balance on offense, and that should concern Eagles fans. On Sunday, Philadelphia had 25 first downs, and 23 of them came through the air. That's partially a product of necessity, since the Eagles trailed for most of the game, but for the season, Philly has only 19 rushing first downs, compared to 73 passing and another seven on penalties. The RBs are averaging just 72 yards per game on the ground.

6. Tampa Bay Buccaneers [7] — Even if his hamstring problem isn't serious, this week marked the second time in four games that Cadillac Williams has had to leave the game due to injury. I know this sounds like a broken record, but he can't be expected to get so much work and stay healthy.

7. New England Patriots [2] — Anyone else with the same results through two games would be lower than this. The injuries New England has sustained would doom any team, but the Patriots defy analysis. By all rules of logic, New England shouldn't have had a chance against the Colts, Steelers, or Eagles in last year's postseason. Instead, it beat all three. In Week 3 this year, the Pats won at Pittsburgh. This ranking is pretty close to a wild guess.

8. Denver Broncos [11] — Every year, there are Week 1 flukes. This season, Denver got demolished at Miami. Since, they've beaten a good Chargers team, embarrassed Kansas City, and won at Jacksonville. I'm not sold on the Broncos' consistency, and they've got a stretch of four tough games coming up before the bye, but Mike Shanahan's group is looking awfully good right now.

9. San Diego Chargers [14] — Scored over 40 points each of the last two weeks, but that streak ends in Pittsburgh Monday night. The Chargers dominated time of possession against New England, winning in all phases of the game, but it all starts with running the football. LaDainian Tomlinson is an extremely gifted back, and Lorenzo Neal, his lead blocker, is finally getting a lot of credit, but don't underestimate this offensive line. Toniu Fonoti missed the first two games, and the offense has been on fire since he came back.

10. Jacksonville Jaguars [8] — 12 rushing yards. 14 penalties. 16-minute time of possession deficit. The concern for this team is the same as it has been since Mark Brunell's glory days: where's the offense?

11. Washington Redskins [19] — If the whole game had been played on third down, they would have scored 70 points. I thought Washington got ripped off in the Laveranues Coles trade this summer, but Santana Moss is a money player. He just made big plays on Sunday. The offense needs to be more successful on first and second down.

12. Seattle Seahawks [9] — There were a lot of things that could have turned the game their way — most notably was a questionable interference penalty and two missed field goals — but the fact is that they were outplayed. The Seahawks stacked the box early to stop Washington's ground game, and Brunell beat them with his arm.

13. New York Giants [18] — They were 3-1 at this time last year, too. They won two of the next three, then dropped eight in a row. I'm not drawing any conclusions until they beat someone good.

14. Carolina Panthers [13] — I don't understand why Stephen Davis, who looks old and slow, is starting ahead of DeShaun Foster, who stiff-armed a defender for 30 yards in a row on Monday night. The defense, which was supposed to be great, has looked awfully weak.

15. Baltimore Ravens [12] — Even the 2000 offense wasn't as bad as this year's. Now they can't even run the ball. Some of that is on an aging offensive line that looks anything but sharp, but a lot of it falls on the perpetually overrated Jamal Lewis, whose lost fumble on Sunday could have cost Baltimore the game. Lewis has had a fumble problem throughout his career; his average of .41 fumbles per game is the highest of any running back in the league.

16. Kansas City Chiefs [15] — The defense has allowed more points each week. That trend stops in their next game, home against Washington.

17. Detroit Lions [16] — It looked like a touchdown to me.

18. Miami Dolphins [21] — Historically a team that struggles on the road, so if they can win at Buffalo in Week 5, they're probably for real.

19. Minnesota Vikings [17] — There's no running game, so I expected them to lose ugly to Atlanta. If they lose ugly to Chicago, the Week 6 rankings will reflect that.

20. Oakland Raiders [24] — Another game, another 14 penalties.

21. Dallas Cowboys [20] — All of their games have been down to the wire, with an even 2-2 split. Terence Newman chased down Randy Moss from behind, which I must have seen before, but not that I can remember. I do remember my old roommate from Minnesota telling me about a game when he saw Moss outrun Robert Smith to get upfield and make a block. That's fast.

22. New Orleans Saints [27] — It was nice to see the Saints play with a friendly crowd behind them, but I still believe the stress and travel and uncertainty are going to wear this team down over time.

23. Buffalo Bills [10] — I should have dropped them after last week's loss of Takeo Spikes, but the biggest problem here is on offense. There hasn't been a passing game since Peerless Price left town.

24. St. Louis Rams [23] — Marc Bulger threw 62 passes on Sunday. He's been sacked 16 times this season, more than anyone but Daunte Culpepper and David Carr. For some reason, people still think of the Rams as a good team. They're not.

25. Cleveland Browns [25] — They could stand to clean up the defensive play a little, and a four-game stretch against Chicago, Baltimore, Detroit, and Houston should be just what they need. With Romeo Crennel in charge of a young defense with a lot of new faces, you have to figure this unit will improve as the year goes on.

26. Tennessee Titans [26] — They beat the pants off of Baltimore in Week 2, and losing at St. Louis in Week 3 is at least excusable. There's no shame in losing to the Steelers and Colts, either, but those losses were by a combined 48 points. A stretch of winnable games the next few weeks will determine whether or not Tennessee has a shot at drafting Matt Leinart.

27. New York Jets [22] — Eight first downs, 1.9 yards per rush, 152 total yards, 22 minutes time of possession, five sacks. The offense is miserable, and while Vinny Testaverde may help a little, I don't see any reason for serious optimism.

28. Chicago Bears [28] — The only team in their division with a positive point differential, they're in first place on a tiebreak win over the Lions. An early bye gives them plenty of time for musical quarterbacks, which was the team's hobby last season.

29. Arizona Cardinals [32] — As Sunday night's game was ending, Mike Patrick accidentally called the Cardinals "St. Louis." Old habits die hard. His broadcasting partner, Joe Theismann, said that he was "impressed by Josh McCown" and that the young QB was "making all the throws he needs to." Less than one minute later, Theismann complained, with a straight face, that all of McCown's throws were high. "He's had three opportunities for touchdowns in my opinion, and he's been long on every one."

30. Green Bay Packers [29] — Their last three losses have been by a combined six points, but none of the three were as close as the score indicates. Al Harris appears to be the only defender capable of tackling in the open field.

31. Houston Texans [31] — Carr was sacked seven times on Sunday, putting him on pace for 107 this year, which would break his own record of 76. My favorite quote of the week is from Trey Wingo on Monday Quarterback: "Odell Thurman, hi, this is David Carr. He's used to this."

32. San Francisco 49ers [30] — During the game, Paul Maguire defended San Francisco's "strong defense," and at the end of the game, he claimed that Arizona "went up against a pretty good defense tonight." The 49ers are last in the NFL in total defense by almost 50 yards a game and in scoring defense by almost a touchdown per game. They're also last in first downs allowed per game, time of possession, pass defense, and passing TDs allowed. Their best player, LB Julian Peterson, was out against Arizona, and they made Josh McCown look like an All-Pro. Calling San Francisco a pretty good defense may be the stupidest thing Maguire has ever said on the air.

Posted by Brad Oremland at 6:49 PM | Comments (4)

Any Hope For the Hopeless?

The 2005 baseball season ended on Sunday, and, for quite a few cities, the action on the field kept fans interested into late August, at least. However, that can't be said everywhere. That was especially the case in Seattle, Tampa, Denver, Pittsburgh, and Kansas City.

For those that follow the Mariners, Devil Rays, Rockies, Pirates, and Royals, any sort of hope for a return to glory (or a place in it) left by the All-Star Break. By the last out, none of the teams mentioned above won 70 games.

But in this vision of darkness, each of these organizations must have a bright spot — somewhere. I mean, even the threat of eating all your brussel sprouts had the prospects of dessert afterwards.

Well, as bleak as this task may be, someone has to try and kick the door of possibilities open. Might as well be me. Here's one thing that each of these five teams can use as a building block heading into next season.

Seattle: A Mound Fit for a King

The best thing about the M's poor play under the scope of the Space Needle was that the majors got to see the next "out of this world" pitching talent. Felix Hernandez isn't 20-years-old yet, and loads of baseball scholars are already praising his talents. A searing fastball. A nasty curveball. And he's still got a lot of room to develop.

If Seattle is going to improve next year, it very well may have to depend on a lot of solid outings by the starters on the mound. There are people in my neck of the woods that trust Joel Piniero (although I'm still not convinced). Plus, don't forget about 58-year-old Jaime Moyer. I may over exaggerate his age, but he remains a viable option on the bump in his advanced years. If those three pitchers can combine quality starts together, some life might be pumped back into Safeco Field.

Tampa Bay: Early to Bed, Late to Rise

For the last eight years, the Devil Rays have been the most consistent laughing stock in the majors. You can point to several reasons. They haven't finished with more than 70 wins in a season. Their home (Tropicana Field) is a verified dump. Plus, don't they play against those juggernauts from the AL East?

However, if you take a closer look at the current talent on the field, there are some positives. This squad's got two burners (Joey Gathright and Carl Crawford) who can roam the outfield and set the table at the top of the lineup. The club also had three players with 20-plus home runs (Jorge Cantu, Jonny Gomes, and Aubrey Huff).

Perhaps the most encouraging sign is that this D-Ray team never threw in the towel. After winning 28 games through the beginning of July, they went 39-34 after the All-Star Break. Most of this came while being a thorn in the playoff chances of the Yankees, Red Sox, and Indians. That kind of plucky effort can lead to better chemistry and, possibly, team play. It will be interesting to see if they can keep fanning the flames without "Sweet" Lou Pinella.

Pittsburgh: A Duke For All Summers

The Pirates are one of only eight franchises to win five world championships. Having said that, the Bucs have definitely seen better times. Since Francisco Cabrera and Sid Bream broke Steel City hearts in 1992, Pittsburgh hasn't witnessed a winning season. A record of 55-81 got Lloyd McClendon fired early last month, and the team didn't play much better to close out the season.

One thing they may have found, though, is an ace of the future. 22-year-old sensation Zach Duke started off the season blistering opposition in the minors. At Triple-A Indianapolis, the southpaw went 12-3 and compiled a 2.92 ERA before his call-up in July.

In his 14 top-level starts, Duke turned quite a few heads, winning his first six decisions and ending the year at 8-2 with a 1.81 ERA. He lasted at least seven innings in nine of those outings and gave up more than three runs just twice. All of this is well and good. Question is, can he hold up for an entire season? The next question ... if he does, can the Pirates keep him?

Colorado: Going On the Offensive

While Coors Field provides a great natural setting, its thin air is the place where pitchers stats go to die. Pitchers like Mike Hampton, Denny Neagle, and the recently-departed Shawn Chacon are proving again and again that Denver is not the place for the kind-hearted hurler. Five out of the last seven seasons, the team has had the NL's worst ERA. The two years not spent in last place (2000 and 2005) were reserved for second-to-last.

In short, to win near the Rockies, you'll need to hit. That's something the Rockies did this season, whether at home or away. Colorado finished the year as the NL's fifth-best squad in batting average, runs scored, and on-base percentage (well, T-5 for that one).

With perennial all-star Todd Helton leading the charge, the Purple and White should continue to smack pitches around most parks. Unfortunately, for an organization that's only finished 10 games over .500 once, there doesn't seem to be any pitching help in sight.

Kansas City: From the Ground Floor Up

There's not much you can say that's positive about the Royals in '05. They stunk in all three phases: hitting, pitching, and fielding. Their record was the worst in the club's 37-year history. Along the way, K.C. developed a 19-game losing streak, the worst in baseball since 1988. (Seriously, are you getting the worst theme here?) Honestly, I am struggling to find anything on the sunny side of life for them, but I'll take a stab at it.

K.C. could have folded up their tents and made a serious run at the worst record of all-time. However, after losing 19 in a row, the Royals, just like the Devil Rays, showed that they are still professional ballplayers. They even ended up winning a couple of series, taking two out of three against the A's and Red Sox in August, as well as the White Sox last month. It's a stretch, but every team has to find some sort of silver lining.

As a matter of fact, that's what all of these teams need to do over the next five months. My suggestion: watch as much of the 1991 Braves and Twins as you possibly can. It might not be the most effective answer, but it sure could provide some needed inspiration.

Posted by Jonathan Lowe at 3:59 PM | Comments (0)

Greatest TV Athletes of All-Time

The other day, I was debating the greatest TV athletes with my co-host on our radio show. The qualifications were simple enough — it had to be someone who played on an organized team (which rules out anyone from the one episode of Friends where they played football) and it had to be someone on a TV show because movies and TV movies were just too easy.

Another rule was added early in the debate to rule out anyone whose show was featured on them playing this sport, like anyone from ESPN's Playmakers. (Which means Leon Taylor couldn't have won the award for greatest TV athlete ever, despite his career average of 4.5 yards per carry. Then again, you have to factor in the wife beating and steroid abuse by Taylor, as well, so he probably wouldn't have made it, but you get the point).

We had a simple setup, an auto-bid to the final four for the champion of the Animated Division and the Sitcom Division, a wildcard based on our final votes, and a wildcard based on caller votes. We definitely left some out, but here's who we had in contention.

Animated Division

Patty Mayonaise, Doug — Patty was a surprisingly good baseball player, especially for a girl. I think she even tried out for the boys team, dominated tryouts, and was only kicked off after the coach realized she was in fact a girl. This led her to create her own team, which she captained, to play against this select team. I think her team of scrubs ended up beating the real team only because Patty finally straightened out Doug's swing, although I could be mistaken (they may have had one of those cliché losses that's really like a win).

Hank Hill, King of the Hill — Hank played football for Arlen High and led them to the state title game (or something thereabouts). That was around the same time his Dad offered to purchase prostitutes for Hank and teammates and future friends Bill, Dale, and Boomhauer.

Lisa Simpson, The Simpsons — Lisa, despite being the biggest nerd in Springfield, is one of the top athletes on the show. Not only was she a goalie on a guy's team at an age level higher than hers, she was the best goalie in the league. This is doubly impressive because she did it with skill, not some manufactured ability, a la Jean-Sebastien Giguere with goalie pads the size of Comic Book Guy.

Bart Simpson, The Simpsons — He makes the list only because he played hockey fairly well and was a football player. He did alright in pickup games, as well, but its clear the kid has some athletic talent and he was usually the focus on whatever team he was on. Was this because he was the star of the show or because it was his great athletic ability? I'll side with his athletic talent, only because it seems to run in the family.

Homer Simpson, The Simpsons — Most of what he did counted for nothing. He was in a bowling league and bowled a perfect game once, but the whole thing was somewhat shady. Also, he was a great softball player, but it was company softball, so we didn't count it. Why is he on the list? Well, mainly because of his fight with Drederick Tatum. One thing is certain, he can take a punch.

Kyle, South Park — Kyle was a great quarterback, but I think the only reason they had him as a good football player was so they could use the infamous "I haven't seen a Jew run that fast since Warsaw in 1936" line. Either way, the kid could play ball, and it's not fair of me to question to why.

Charlie Brown, Peanuts — He gets a sponsor's exemption into this competition only because it's clear he was a phenomenal athlete. Why else would Lucy be so scared to hold the ball for him on a kick? You have to assume he has a stronger leg than Adam Vinatieri. He was also the pitcher for the baseball team, and while they never won a game, you always make your best athlete the pitcher, so there's no doubt that Charlie was the best on the block.

Animated Division Champ

Bugs Bunny, Looney Toons — Bugs wins this hands down, mainly because the competition is weak. The cartoon athletes never get much higher than high school and that just doesn't cut it. Bugs is on here not only because of his talent, but because of his versatility. In a baseball game against the Gas-House Gorillas, Bugs played every single position on the field. Not only does he hit for power and hit consistently, he is also the best pitcher I have seen on TV. He once struck out the entire side on one pitch. If ESPN Classic was around then, that would've made Instant Classic status the minute after it aired.

Sitcom Division

A few that narrowly missed making the list:

Brad Taylor, Home Improvement — He was a soccer stud and got a college scholly, but soccer sucks.

Eddie Winslow, Family Matters — Basketball scholly to IOU, but Steve Urkel had a more consistent three-point-shot.

Joey Gladstone, Full House — Joey was eliminated quickly in the competition and was only included because we were fairly certain he played hockey when he was younger. He does play the occasional game still, but we didn't feel he was good enough to make even the Sweet 16.

The Competitors

MacGyver, MacGyver — He received an exemption from my co-host, who is a big supporter of MacGyver. The fact of the matter is that this guy was a hockey fiend. He was a complete stud on the ice and never really gets the credit he deserves. He also makes a strong case because he is a great mentor to younger players, like in the episode he helped a player tone down his aggressive style and make the Olympic team. Plus, there is nothing this guy can't do, and that includes building a baby crib out of hockey sticks. We were both certain he would've been one of the game's greats if he didn't feel such a loyalty to the Phoenix Foundation and saving the world.

Corey Matthews, Boy Meets World — He is the Rudy of our list. He wasn't on the team long, but he didn't back down to anyone, even when fighting in a match against the little Joey kid in front of a full gym. Sure, he's not a realistic candidate for the final four, but I admire his heart.

Alan Matthews, Boy Meets World — I didn't remember this, but my co-host swears he won the Golden Gloves tournament while in the Navy, so he made the list, but not the final four.

Jean-Paul, Seinfeld — He was the marathon runner from Trinidad (or was it Jamaica? My co-host, who is a huge Seinfeld guy, thinks it was Jamaica but I wasn't so sure) who overslept the big race and still almost pulled out the win. His downfall as an athlete came when he threw Kramer's hot coffee into his face. Speaking of Kramer...

Kramer, Seinfeld — Kramer was an exceptional golfer and would've been one of the greats if he didn't get into that car wreck when he was trying to look at a girl in her bra. Not a great shot at the final four, but he did once drive a golf ball into the blowhole of a whale.

Al Bundy, Married With Children — We had an e-mailer vote for Bundy and it's true, he was one of the greats. His nickname in high school was "Touchdown Bundy" and during his senior season he set a Polk High School record for touchdowns in a season. He was one of the top fullbacks the football world had seen in sometime and would've gone on to play in college if it wasn't for a broken leg. Another big thing going in his favor is the fact that he was clutch and always kicked it up a notch in crunch time. Case in point — he had four touchdowns in the city championship game his senior season. It doesn't get much better than that.

Zach Morris, Saved by the Bell — He was a track star, a basketball stud, and a decent outfielder in baseball. So why doesn't he make the list? Well, he's too much of a wimp to play football. He had the athleticism and speed to play, but he opted out because, I'm assuming, he didn't want to get hit. Weak, Preppie, weak.

Will Smith, Fresh Prince of Bel-Air — He was a brilliant basketball player. There was very little he couldn't do with the ball. He had some memorable games going up against the player who already had a kid in high school (this was his only flaw, he let his pity bring him down). He was fond of recounting his great games at the barbershop, but he let his play do the talking most of the time and it did just that.

Basketball brought him nearly everything he wanted as he was the horse on the Bel-Air team, but he did throw the game that the scout attended only because he felt bad for the father that was a guard for the other team. Just for letting woman emotions getting involved, he misses out on any shot of the final four, but definitely deserves some mention on the list.

AC Slater, Saved by the Bell — He was the jock on the show and let's face it, he was hands down the best athlete at Bayside. He was the quarterback of the football team and returned kicks (everyone remembers his Dante Hall-esque return against Valley in the homecoming game. Sure, that was the only score in the game, but that was more a credit to the Valley defense than an indictment of Slater's ability to run the offense, because he once had, like, six TDs in a game. Bottom line, he did what he had to against Valley to get a win, and you can't ask your playmakers for much more than that).

As good as he was at football, he was even better at wrestling. This is where he made his name as he was easily the greatest wrestler the school had ever seen. He humiliated the Valley wrestler in one match and never came close to losing against anyone else. The only loss I remember was when he went up against that Tory chick (you know, the biker one) who was only on the show for a season and I'm fairly certain he mailed it in because it was a girl and he didn't want to hurt her. He was the wildcard winner to the final-four.

Sitcom Division Champ

Clark Kent, Smallville — I took a lot of heat for naming a person from the WB to the list, but damn it, he deserves it. There literally is nothing he is incapable of doing. The fact of the matter is he could score a touchdown on every play, but he lets people tackle him and takes a dive just so people don't find out he's really Superman.

Remember, this is a kid who once threw a TD pass and then was able to run and save a girl who was trapped in the locker room area under the bleachers and make it back to the field before the ball even hit his wide-out in the numbers. He turned down a scholarship to Kansas U to stay closer to his high school sweetheart and was recruited heavily by the nearer Metropolis U. My co-host disagreed with me on this choice, but how can anyone be better? He's Superman, how can anyone compare? Bottom line is they can't.

Caller Wildcard

Sam Malone, Cheers — To be honest, he was on our list, but we had a caller name him before we even started the segment. He did end up receiving the most votes from our callers, which landed him in the final four. Let's face it — he was good enough to make it to the professional ranks, so that should be good enough to land him to the final four on its own merit. He was a former relief pitcher for the Red Sox and that makes him fairly successful. So what if alcoholism shortened his career, at least he made it to the big stage. Better to be a has-been than a never-was like Al Bundy, Will Smith, and Kramer.

The Final Four

Bugs Bunny, Sam Malone, Clark Kent, and AC Slater — I voted for Clark Kent, because he is freaking Superman. However, I was outvoted by a margin of 2-1, with both my co-host and the callers going with Sam Malone. I am certain we have missed some good ones, but until someone can make an argument otherwise, Sam Malone will be crowned the greatest TV athlete. I guess it's better to be a depressed drunk than faster than a speeding bullet.

The Sports Gospel According to Mark is sponsored by BetOnSports.com. BetOnSports.com gives you the greatest sports action to bet on. Wager on football, cricket, boxing, Rugby, horse racing, and more. Mark Chalifoux is also a weekly columnist for SportsFan Magazine. His columns appear every Tuesday on Sports Central. You can e-mail Mark at [email protected].

Posted by Mark Chalifoux at 3:23 PM | Comments (0)

October 3, 2005

Indians Face Long Winter Ahead

Nine out of the last 10 years, 93 wins was good enough to earn a wildcard berth in the American League.

Unfortunately for the Cleveland Indians, this year it wasn't.

One week ago, the American League playoff picture was still fuzzy, at best. Chicago was faltering, the Indians were surging, and the Red Sox and Yankees were fighting it out in the East.

The scenarios were myriad for a Cleveland trip to October baseball. If the blitzing Indians continued to win, they had the opportunity to head into this weekend's series with the White Sox with a chance to become only the second team in MLB history to come back from a 15-game deficit to win the division. Even if that didn't happen, even if they didn't continue their torrid pace, a wildcard berth seemed inevitable.

Then, Grady Sizemore lost a ball in the sun in the final game against the Kansas City Royals and suddenly, the White Sox clinched the Central Division.

Next on tap, the lowly Tampa Bay Devil Rays, a team that had played hard against most of the top teams in the American League, including the Yankees and Angels, but still remained in the East's cellar despite a winning record since the All-Star Break.

And so began the week that wouldn't end.

The Devil Rays came into Jacob's Field and took two out of three from the Tribe. Bats that had produced a record 51 homers in the month of September suddenly went quiet with the exception of a couple of long balls in a 6-0 victory.

This was a young team at the start of the season, and GM Mark Shapiro had been upfront with Indian faithful the last two years. With a $42 million payroll, the Indians were depending on young bats, pitching, defense, and the fundamentals to win. The winning part, however, probably wouldn't come anytime soon.

After a mediocre first half of the season, Shapiro's recipe for success started to work. Cleveland's bullpen ERA was tops in the AL, the starters were in the top five for ERA in the league also, the young Cleveland bats (many of them playing their first full year in the majors) started to come alive to the tune of record home runs for a handful of the starting lineup, and manager Eric Wedge's philosophy of taking one game at a time brought the team together and made them believe in themselves.

With Chicago far ahead in the Central, the Indians put together the best record in baseball in the second half. Catcher Victor Martinez led the league in batting after the All-Star Break, Kevin Millwood led the league in ERA, Bob Wickman led the AL in saves, and CC Sabathia, Cliff Lee, Travis Hafner, and Grady Sizemore showed why they will be the cornerstones of the Cleveland organization for years to come.

Suddenly, "next year" was "this year."

However, the White Sox ended the second half of the season just like they started it, by sweeping the Indians.

For many Cleveland fans, myself included, the fact that this team is young probably shouldn't have made it this far, and will be one of the best teams in the AL next year are no consolation for the last week.

A 1-6 record in the last seven games when 3-4 or 4-3 would have put them in playoffs puts a taint on what had been a magical season.

You have to be proud of what this team has done, and you have to be optimistic about next year, but you can't look at this team and tell me that they weren't ready to win now.

It's also troubling to look down the road at the offseason and wonder who will be back and who won't. Maybe, like Kevin Millwood, the Indians caught lightning in a bottle this season.

Millwood, along with Bob Howry, Bob Wickman, and Scott Elearton, will be free agents this winter. Millwood will absolutely command $10 million a year for about four years from someone, but it remains to be seen whether the Tribe ponies up the money and takes a chance on a long-term contract for the 31-year-old hurler. Wickman doesn't even know if he wants to pitch anymore, but how can you walk away from a 40+ save season? After what seemed like 8,000 appearances this season, there should be no question about bringing Howry, one of the best setup guys in the American League, back for next season.

There are other questions, too, for instance, where and how will Shapiro find a big bat to stick in the middle of the lineup. The power could come in right field, replacing Casey Blake, or from first base, replacing Ben Broussard.

Boy, would Mike Sweeney look nice in an Indians uniform next year.

If I were Mark Shapiro, I would keep Casey Blake as your bench player that can play every position and provide a little right hand power off the bench. He's a good team leader, and would be a good upgrade over Jose Hernandez. To be sure, either Blake or Broussard won't be back as a starter next season.

One of my friends from Cleveland moved to Boston a couple of years ago, and to my surprise, now roots for the Red Sox over the Indians. His argument is that you have to root for the Red Sox because of last season and because they are "America's Team."

Treason, pure treason.

Baseball's about rooting for your hometown, not last year's champion, and if there's any team that "America" should be rooting for, it's the $42 million payroll little engine that could.

Let the $150+ payroll club play this year, because next year the World Series is the next step for the Indians.

Posted by Vince Grzegorek at 4:42 PM | Comments (1)

I Hate Mondays: Super Bowl Colts?

Sponsored by CyberSportsbook.com

You were wondering where that potent Indianapolis Colts offense was?

After their stomping of the hapless Tennessee Titans, where Peyton Manning had four touchdown passes, you can wonder no more.

In the past two weeks, they only scored a total of 23 points. On Sunday, they racked up 31.

Up until this point in the season, it was the defense that was uncharacteristically carrying the team to victory while the offense did not dominate, but did just enough to win.

The Colts defense has taken strides forward this season and entails the NFL's best defensive line. They have yet to allow more than 10 points in any game and opponents have only totaled 26 in four games.

But now that those temporary anxieties that lingered in the back of our minds about the Colts offense are quelled, it is pretty clear that they are the Super Bowl favorites.

The New England Patriots are the current champions and were the preferred choice heading into the season, but they don't look to be in good shape for a three-peat. Injuries have mounted with stalwart safety Rodney Harrison, shifty running back Kevin Faulk, and reliable offensive lineman Matt Light all out for prolonged periods of time.

Those injuries compounded with the losses of Tedy Bruschi and Ted Johnson in the offseason have forced the Patriots away from their signature 3-4 style of defense.

More injuries = less experience = less defensive scheming for the Patriots.

Peyton Manning has rarely stumbled against the 4-3 since a defense with four down lineman and only three linebackers is more static.

The dynamic, ever-changing, and confusing defense of the Patriots, which used to feature three down linemen and four versatile linebackers is not the same without the proper personnel.

If there's no kryptonite around, then the Colts are Superman.

But Manning has feigned the characteristics of Superman before only to turn back into Clark Kent each and every visit at Foxboro. His career record there is 0-7.

Even though victories have been hard to come by at either Foxboro or Gillette Stadium, this year, if these two rivals do meet in the playoffs again, the Colts will likely be the host.

They have yet to lose after four weeks in the season and with San Francisco (1-3), St. Louis (2-2), and Houston (0-3) on tap in the next three weeks, it's not a stretch of the imagination to envision Indy at 7-0 heading into the bye week.

After their vacant week, they face even more flimsy opponents in the second half of the season with Arizona, Seattle, and both Houston and Tennessee again.

But don't forget about Bill Belichick quite yet. Yes, the Colts are impressive at this point in the season, but you can still expect to see the Patriots in the playoffs.

They are in a weak division with the New York Jets, a team riddled with key injuries, the Miami Dolphins, a team that is rebuilding, and the Buffalo Bills, a team that is both.

Belichick still has another 12 games to prepare his new faces, but if they are not ready, if they are not capable, or of they cannot play their shifty 3-4 defense, Manning and the Colts will be your Super Bowl champs.

The Colts and the Patriots mix like Mondays and me.

Don't miss next week's installment of "I Hate Mondays," sponsored by CyberSportsbook.com, a great sportsbook for horse racing and casino action!

Posted by Dave Golokhov at 4:23 PM | Comments (1)

October 1, 2005

A Hockey Cynic's Guide to NHL (Pt. 1)

So how do you like the new NHL?

Because, after all, it's your NHL.

It certainly isn't mine any more, despite what the ads say.

My NHL wouldn't have 20 power plays a game in order to end "obstruction," only to forget about it during the postseason. And you and I both know that will happen.

But hey, there's now a tradition of having one set of rules for the regular season and another for the playoffs. Like, for example, ending those first "meaningless" 82 games with a shootout — that contemptible sideshow that ensures a winner in every game it's featured in, without a single pass being completed or a defenseman on the ice.

Why not just have them play a hand of Texas Hold'em instead?

Maybe then ESPN would have invited us back.

(Speaking of television, I'm glad Gary Bettman has continued to build on his stature as a marketing genius by creating an ad campaign that managed to offend fans, bewilder non-fans, and piss off feminists. All with a commercial that looked like it could have been for an electric razor. When is this stooge going back to Middle Earth where he belongs?)

Look, I'm not all doom and gloom. Tag-up off-sides? Awesome. Refusing a line change to a team that ices the puck? Great. That trapezoid thing for the goalies? It'll help the forecheck, but I'm not a fan of restricting the movement of any player on the ice. Legalized two-line passes? Eh, it'll be fun until the defenses adapt, or the fans get tired of watching poor 50-foot passes for three periods.

It's going to be a hell of a season. Let's take a look at it, shall we?

We hit the Prince of Wales Conference this week, and the Campbell next week. And don't give me any of that "but the season will have already started" crap. One game isn't going to give me any more insight than I already have ... unless Bertuzzi goes nuts again on Opening Night and costs himself another season.

Patrick Division

NEW JERSEY DEVILS

Why They Won't Win the Stanley Cup — There are three good reasons. First, the NHL has finally decided that the only to keep Jersey out of the winners' circle is to throw out the entire rulebook and write a new one. Goalies can't play the puck behind their own net? Gee, which goalie was that written for? I seriously hope Marty Brodeur isn't paranoid, because if I were him, I'd be wondering when the NHL establishes the "players whose last names contain 'odeur' can no longer were masks or pads" amendment.

Second, the Devils have a strong defense, but no longer have a leader on that defense. I like they way they've reloaded with Vlad Malakhov and Dan McGillis joining players like Brian Rafalski, Colin White, Paul Martin, and Richard Matvichuk. But out of those players, who's the lockdown guy? Who's the penalty-kill-in-overtime guy? That's where losing Scott Niedermayer and Scott Stevens hurts the most.

Third, it appears Lou Lamoriello's approach to the new NHL landscape is "Cap, Schmap." He overpaid for Malakhov and Alex Mogilny. Dumping Jeff Friesen before the season because of a numbers crunch tells me the Devils weren't ready for the realities of cap economics, which is amazing considering Lou's track record.

Worst Excuse For a Player — Darren Langdon, who came into this league about seven years after guys who scored 16 goals and earned 1,229 penalty minutes in 507 career games actually deserved a roster spot.

Worst Case Scenario — Patrik Elias returns from his bout with Hepatitis ... and ends up getting The Clap on a road trip to Toronto.

NEW YORK ISLANDERS

Why They Won't Win the Stanley Cup — Because retooling half your team just so you can take advantage of the legalization of two-line passes does not a Cup winner make. The Isles flipped Adrian Aucoin and Kenny Jonsson for Alexei Zhitnik and Brent Sopel. They turned Michael Peca into Mike York. They added Satan – no, they didn't re-acquire Bertuzzi. The other Satan (Miroslav). And don't forget Alexei Yashin, who might now actually have a legitimate reason to spend two periods floating around the neutral zone. On paper, this group takes advantage of the new rules. But if hockey games were played on paper, Mike Milbury would still suck.

Worst Excuse For a Player — Petteri Nokelainen. I don't care how good he is. You can't be named Petteri Nokelainen on a team that already has Janne Niinimaa and Justin Papineau. There are starving nations out there that don't even have two vowels in their name, let along, like, 40.

Worst Case Scenario — Rick DiPietro can't find consistency, and Garth Snow takes over. Only, because of the new rules, his goalie equipment is now the size of two tampons and a Brillo pad.

NEW YORK RANGERS

Why They Won't Win the Stanley Cup — Because it isn't 2048 yet.

Worst Excuse For a Player — Tom Poti. Has there ever been another defenseman who was ever just there all the time? Not good, not bad, just there? Tom Poti in Russian is Alexander Karpovtsev.

Worst Case Scenario — Messier decides to take one last shot at glory, and all of a sudden the Rangers' top line is Moose, Jari Kurri, and 45-year-old Glenn Anderson.

PHILADELPHIA FLYERS

Why They Won't Win the Stanley Cup — Well, they actually might, to tell you the truth. I'm still stunned they didn't win it back in 2004. Now, they managed to cut some old baggage with Jeremy Roenick, John LeClair, and Tony Amonte. They return Keith Primeau, who went all Claude Lemieux in the playoffs last time. They return some really strong young players in Simon Gagne, Michael Handzus, and Joni Pitkanen. They add Darian Hatcher, if he's got anything left, and Mike Rathje, who has plenty left. Oh, and they also signed some Swedish kid — I heard he had his own postage stamp once.

Worst Excuse For a Player — Donald Brashear. He's stuck on 1,999 penalty minutes. Darn ... too bad he didn't get that extra two for interference when he injured Byron Dafoe before McSorley whacked him in the noggin.

Worst Case Scenario — The only thing holding the Flyers back from the Cup is the goaltending tandem of Robert Esche and Antero Niittymaki, his understudy. Both are good, strong young goalies. But one bad series from Esche, and the Flyers fall short again.

PITTSBURGH PENGUINS

Why They Won't Win the Stanley Cup — Because the Penguins aren't going to have a 60-minute power play. With Sergei Gonchar on the blue line and forwards like Mario Lemieux, Ziggy Palffy, Mark Recchi, LeClair, Ryan Malone, and Sid the Kid in front of him, the Pens might have as good a power play as we've seen in the NHL since the last great unit in Pittsburgh during the Mario/Jaromir Jagr/Ron Francis/Larry Murphy days. But five-on-five, and playing beyond the top two lines, the Pens are very ordinary.

Worst Excuse For a Player — Marc-Andre Fleury. Somebody get this kid a copy of "The Ryan Leaf Story."

Worst Case Scenario — Renowned hockey journalist Stan Fischler continues his unending quest to nickname Sidney Crosby "Der Bingle II," after Bing Crosby. "When asked about being nicknamed Der Bingle II," wrote Fischler in his FOXSports.com column, "Sid drew a blank." Yeah, so does anyone who doesn't have a copy of "Road to Zanzibar" on their DVD shelf. Oh, sorry, Stan: I meant Betamax shelf.

Adams Division

BOSTON BRUINS

Why They Won't Win the Stanley Cup — Because even if unsigned Nick Boynton comes back to the fold, the Bruins have a defense that's basically "The Golden Girls on Ice." Brian Leetch (D.O.B. Born: Mar 3, 1968) as Sophia. Hal Gill (Born: Apr 6, 1975) as Rose. Jiri Slegr (Born: May 30, 1971) as Blanche. And Ian Moran (Born: Aug 24, 1972) as Dorothy; not only because he's a little up in the years, but because if you throw a dress on him...

Worst Excuse For a Player — Colton Orr. As if Bostonian fans haven't had enough pain and frustration in their lives, now they get to watch a guy in a Bruins uniform with Orr on the back ... and he's a big, dumb checking winger.

Worst Case Scenario — Joe Thornton gives up hockey to captain the Sam Adams Lager International Barroom Brawling team.

BUFFALO SABRES

Why They Won't Win the Stanley Cup — Because there are still players on this team that are just happy the checks clear every week. Oh, and because if their defense was the human birth cycle, they'd be a zygote.

Worst Excuse For a Player — Tim Connolly. Hasn't scored more than 14 goals in any of his four full seasons. At what point does "potential" cross over into "underachievement?"

Worst Case Scenario — They become the first people to witness their lives actually getting worse after rejecting Satan.

MONTREAL CANADIENS

Why They Won't Win the Stanley Cup — Because Jose Theodore won't be able to carry this team that far, and because most of the Habs look like they just stepped off the boat from Lilliput.

Worst Excuse For a Player — Marcel Hossa, who's basically a poor man's Brent Gretzky.

Worst Case Scenario — The Canadiens can't capitalize on the NHL's new speed-friendly rules, and the League decides to toughen its rules against diving, much to the chagrin of Alexei Kovalev.

OTTAWA SENATORS

Why They Won't Win the Stanley Cup — Because there's a one-in-seven chance they'll face the Maple Leafs in the Eastern Conference playoffs. And because Dominik Hasek will never be Dominik Hasek again.

Worst Excuse For a Player — Vaclav Varada played his first NHL game in 1995, and has 162 points in 417 games. He's out for six weeks with a sprained MCL — will anyone miss him?

Worst Case Scenario — Beyond taking another prison rape from the Leafs in the postseason, the other big concern is chemistry. How will the Sens handle the Dany Heatley-for-Marian Hossa trade? Or Zdeno Chara's potential free agency? There are more than a few simmering distractions for a team that's never really been that cohesive to begin with.

TORONTO MAPLE LEAFS

Why They Won't Win the Stanley Cup — The most heartwarming story of the NHL preseason was the sudden realization by the Leafs that they are slow and old. Or, as Steve Thomas told the Toronto Sun, "It's frustrating because it is no longer a man's game out there. If I can get a 220-pound guy to fall down just by putting my stick on him, it shouldn't happen." Boo-hoo, sweetie.

Worst Excuse For a Player — Eric Lindros should not be playing in this league. He's one shot to the head away from a lifetime of drooling into his Hart Trophy while watching tapes of the '97 Cup Finals. And Jesus, man, could you stop picking teams that everybody fracking loathes? I say quit hockey and dedicate one year to Habitat For Humanity for each season you played with the Flyers, Rangers, and Leafs.

Worst Case Scenario — Losing Ed Belfour for the season, which would mean Mikael Telqvist steps into the blinding, scalding spotlight in Toronto. Yikes!

"The South Begins at K Street" Division

ATLANTA THRASHERS

Why They Won't Win the Stanley Cup — Because as good as Kari Lehtonen might be in goal, the Thrashers don't have enough quality defense in front of him to make a sustained run in the postseason. But boy are they loaded up front, especially if Ilya Kovalchuk puts down the vodka and heads back over the pond at some point.

Worst Excuse For a Player — Bobby Holik. Okay, he's actually a pretty good player and will help this team by knocking somebody's teeth out now and again. But have you ever heard this guy talk? I actually do a wicked good Holik impression. Basically, take whatever your Ah-nold impression is, raise it up an octave, speed it up a bit, pretend you have a stuffy nose, and instead of using periods at the end of your thoughts, use the transition "and you know."

Here, try this sample:

"Da Devilz are a team dat I tink I could play for again if I wanted to and you know dat deh are a team dat I plate for when deh won da Stanley Cups and you know dat deh are a team dat gave me da chance to play for da Cups and you know dat..."

Worst Case Scenario — I was going to make a joke here about Marian Hossa and sports cars, but let's not go there.

CAROLINA HURRICANES

Why They Won't Win the Stanley Cup — There's, like, a gazillion reasons, but let's focus on one. The 'Canes' goaltending situation is going to be a mess this season. Cam Ward isn't ready for the starting job. Martin Gerber, like GiggyPuff Marshmallow Goalie, was the product of a defensive system in Anaheim. Unfortunately for Gerber, the Carolina defense is like pureed bananas. (Because his name is Gerber, see — like the baby food. I'll shut up now.)

Worst Excuse For a Player — Oleg Tverdovsky. An offensive defenseman who doesn't generate much offense or play much defense. Go figure!

Worst Case Scenario — The Panthers move to Vegas first.

FLORIDA PANTHERS

Why They Won't Win the Stanley Cup — Because this team is just flat-out weird, man. At one point before the lockout, it seemed like every line was populated with European and Russian forwards, mixed in with some no-name North American players here and there. Now, GM Mike Keenan has thrown Joe Nieuwendyk, Gary Roberts, Martin Gelinas, Jozef Stumpel, and Chris Gratton into the mix. Yet despite all of those veterans, 26-year-old Olli Jokinen is the team captain. Then there are the defensive enigmas named Mike Van Ryan and Jay Boumeester, and Roberto Luongo, a brilliant goalie who is also a bitter goalie after losing his arbitration case this offseason.

Worst Excuse For a Player — Eric Cairns is such a big lunkhead. He's like Zdeno Chara, without the charisma.

Worst Case Scenario — The Hurricanes move to Vegas first.

TAMPA BAY LIGHTNING

Why They Won't Win the Stanley Cup — Forget, for a moment, that the Bolts are the defending Cup champions. Forget about Brad Richards, Vincent Lecavalier, and Martin St. Louis. Forget about Dan Boyle and Pavel Kubina. Forget about the fact that this team remains one of the most balanced, yet explosive, in all of hockey. Forgetting all of that, I ask you: do you think this team will win more games with Nikolai Khabibulin between the pipes or a tandem of John Grahame and Sean Burke?

Thought so.

Worst Excuse For a Player — In theory, Vaclav Prospal should have a breakout year in this offense. But you just have the feeling he's never going to get over that 18-22-goal hump he's been stuck on for the last three seasons.

Worst Case Scenario — What can be worse than winning the Cup and then having to wait over a year to raise the banner?

WASHINGTON CAPITALS

Why They Won't Win the Stanley Cup — Allow me to save us both some valuable time — they just won't, okay?

Worst Excuse For a Player — Ivan Majesky, a defenseman, failed his training camp physical. What was it, a pop quiz? Also a good sign: he's been in the NHL for three seasons, and this is his third team.

Worst Case Scenario — The Caps don't win the lottery.

Greg Wyshynski is the Features Editor for SportsFan Magazine in Washington, DC, and the Senior Sports Editor for The Connection Newspapers of Northern Virginia. His book "Glow Pucks and 10-Cent Beer: The 101 Worst Ideas in Sports History" will be published in Spring 2006. His columns appear every Saturday on Sports Central. You can e-mail Greg at [email protected].

Posted by Greg Wyshynski at 4:37 PM | Comments (0)

College Basketball's Measure of Success

The college basketball landscape can be measured by three levels of success. Schools that have decades of success with numerous coaches, schools that have been built into powerhouses by a specific coach, and schools that have had dream seasons that exceeded normal expectations.

The schools with long-standing traditions are practically able to pick and choose the players they want. Schools such as North Carolina, Kansas, and Kentucky have had success as far back as the 1940s.

Coaches that have built and rebuilt their schools include Louisville's Rick Pitino, Mike Krzyzewski of Duke, Lute Olson at Arizona, and Gary Williams at Maryland. Louisville and Duke had had measured success in previous eras, while Olson and Williams were the first coaches in their schools' history to lead them to a Final Four.

Many schools have had dream seasons that placed their program in the limelight for the first time or saw a school have a season that went beyond past achievements. In the first of a three-part series, I will examine schools that have had teams play above their university's usual expectations.

Entering the 1978-79 season, it was widely known that Larry Bird was one of the nation's best players. In that era, a player could be selected in the NBA draft if his class had graduated. Because of his transfer from Indiana to Indiana State, Bird was eligible for the 1978 draft. The Celtics' Red Auerbach took advantage and drafted the future Larry Legend. Bird was the cornerstone and only returning starter on an unproven team that went 22-9 the season before.

At the beginning of the 1978-79 season, Sycamore head coach Bob King was lost to an illness and assistant Bill Hodges assumed the reigns. Hodges had no previous head coaching experience. Led by Bird (28.6 ppg, 14.9 rpg) and future NBA player Carl Nicks (19.3 ppg), the Sycamores finished 33-1, with its only loss to Magic Johnson and Michigan State in the NCAA Championship Game. In what is still the most-watched NCAA Championship Game ever, the Spartans had too much firepower for Indiana State and captured its first NCAA championship with a 75-64 victory.

In the 26 seasons since that game, Indiana State has made only two NCAA tournament appearances with their only win in 2001 over Oklahoma. After Bird went on to a legendary career leading the Celtics to three NBA Championships, Hodges lasted only four more seasons in Terra Haute. After the 33-1 season in 1979, Hodges managed only a 34-47 record in his last four years at ISU. He would later compile a 62-104 record in six seasons at Mercer (GA).

Not much was expected of Marquette entering the 2002-03 season. Dwayne Wade was entering his junior year with only one season of college experience after sitting out his freshman year as a non-qualifier. Robert Jackson had transferred in from Mississippi with only one year of eligibility remaining and Travis Diener was in his first year as the Golden Eagles' starting Point guard.

In 2002, Marquette went 26-7 and was upset by Tulsa in the first round of the NCAA tournament. Wade had improved his scoring average from 17.8 ppg on '02 to 21.5 in '03. Jackson was a big addition in the middle and Diener was the kind of dangerous shooter that many teams ride for long tournament runs.

After a five-game winning streak to end the regular season, the Golden Eagles lost to UAB in their first game in the Conference USA tournament. Marquette improved their status from a five-seed in 2002 to a three-seed in 2003. After tight wins over Holy Cross, Missouri, and Pittsburgh, Marquette caught a break when Kentucky's Keith Bogans was hurt in the Sweet 16. Marquette was able to take advantage and advanced to their first Final Four with an 83-69 victory over the Wildcats in the regional final in Minneapolis.

Wade was the catalyst behind Marquette's first Final Four appearance since Al McGuire led them to the school's only national championship in 1977. The Eagles dream ended when they were dominated by Kansas in the national semifinal. KU bolted to a big halftime lead. Diener was only able to connect on 1-11 from the field and Marquette's dream season came to an abrupt end. After the run, Wade left for NBA riches in South Beach. Diener was unable to carry the load and Marquette has not been back to the NCAA tournament since.

The 2004 Cinderella team was led by an unlikely coach and a pint-sized point guard. St. Joseph's last big splash in the NCAA tourney was when they pulled off what might have been the original March Madness shocker nationally. They stunned No. 1 DePaul in the second round in 1981.

With the backcourt of Jameer Nelson and Delonte West returning for the 2004 season, expectations were high in Philadelphia for Phil Martelli and company. They far exceeded expectations. They battled with Stanford all year long for national supremacy. Both schools took undefeated records deep into the season. After Stanford lost at Washington, the focus was on the Hawks. St. Joe finished the regular season undefeated and entered the Atlantic 10 tournament as the nation's No. 1 team. Their undefeated regular season was the first since UNLV advanced to the national semifinals unscathed.

Playing Xavier in Dayton, just 50 miles up the road proved to be too daunting of a task. St. Joe suffered its first loss of the season to Xavier in the A-10 tournament. Other the ending their dream of an undefeated season, the loss mattered little. The Hawks were still named the No. 1 seed in the East. The region's top seed was the first in school history. The Hawks defeated Liberty, Texas Tech, and Wake Forest to set up a showdown with Oklahoma State for a trip to the Final Four.

A John Lucas three-pointer gave the Cowboys a two point victory and sent them to the Final Four in New Orleans. Nelson and Martelli captured the National Player of Year and Coach of the Year awards respectively as St. Joe enjoyed its best season in school history. Building on that success will be the key to how much the 2004 season actually means.

Their status in the big time was magnified when West left after his junior season in '04 and center Dwayne Jones moved on the NBA early in 2005. After an up-and-down preseason, the 2005 Hawks turned it up in Atlantic 10 play. They finished 14-2 in conference play, but had to settle for the NIT after losing to George Washington in the A-10 championship game.

Illinois has had many teams that had been predicted to make waves in the NCAA tournament. The 2005 Illini had the best chance since the 1989 Illini to advance to the Final Four. In 2001, Illinois lost to Arizona in the regional final and that was the only time since 1989 that Illinois played for a chance to advance to the NCAA's big stage. That was under Bill Self, who left to coach Kansas after the 2003 season. Bruce Weber was stepping up to the big time after leading Southern Illinois to the Sweet 16 in 2002.

The 2005 season was the most successful in Illinois history. They were expected to contend for the Big 10 title, but these Illini far exceeded expectations. The Illini remained undefeated until a March loss at Ohio State and then cruised through the Big 10 Tournament to record the double of Big 10 regular season and tournament titles.

In the NCAA tournament, there was a lot of noise nationally that Illinois would have a big advantage by being able to play all of its tournament games within a three-hour drive from campus. The Illini opened in Indianapolis and after winning two games moved on to Chicago. The Illini used a balanced attack with all five starters in averaging in double figures. Weber was named the National Coach of the Year, Dee Brown and Deron Williams were All-Americans, and with 37 victories, Illinois tied the 1986 Duke team for the most victories in one season.

But like Duke, Illinois fell one victory shy of their ultimate goal with a loss in the National Championship Game. Their historic comeback from 15 points down in the final four minutes to send them to the Final Four will become a part of the NCAA's storied history.

How Illinois is able to follow-up their great 2005 season will show if this past season was a dream season or merely a step to becoming one of the nation's premiere programs. Williams left a year early for the NBA and Roger Powell and Luther Head both used up their eligibility. Weber's legacy might depend on how he builds on last season. The return of starters Brown and center James Augustine will be good building blocks.

The schools that have a lasting legacy and place in college basketball have used big seasons as a stepping-stone to a national name and big recruiting classes. Duke's 1986 trip to the NCAA Championship Game helped land players like Quinn Snyder and Christian Laettner. Arizona rode a 1988 Final Four trip to land players like Chris Mills and Brian Williams. The key to long-term success is to have a big-name coach who can recruit nationally and build a big-name program. How well Marquette, St. Joseph's, and Illinois are able to parlay their dream seasons into national success will be born out in the next few seasons.

Posted by Alan Rubenstein at 3:34 PM | Comments (1)