Ah, the aftermath of Week 1 in the National Football League. Kickoff Weekend, as usual, was chock-full-o overzealous optimists punching their tickets to the Super Bowl, overreacting pessimists setting fire to their favorite jerseys, yellow-hankie waving by the men in stripes, and various and sundry overblown pre-game festivities, excluding those paying homage to our military heroes, 9/11 memories, and Hurricane Katrina victims.
As the dust settles this time each and every year, passing premature judgment on the events that have been witnessed mere hours earlier becomes almost pandemic, as every Monday Morning Quarterback with a computer keyboard and access to an online chat room sees fit to analyze everything from the opening kickoff through the vendor's tone and tenor as he peddles his wares up and down the stadium's aisles.
I'm here to tell you that I am not one of the Monday Morning QBs to which I refer. In fact, I wrote this article on Wednesday, and I don't have much of an arm at all, so quarterbacking is out of the question. But I do have a keyboard and, while this isn't exactly a chat room, we do have a very fine and popular message board here at Sports Central. As such, I've got some opinions and would be soing the public a grave disservice if I left them bottled up in my rickety ol' brain, so here are my thoughts on the NFL's first weekend of games and the resulting chatter that has littered the airwaves.
Somebody needs to tell John Madden that the "Tom Brady Foot Cam" is an awful idea. While Brady is surely a gifted winner, I can't even imagine how seeing this has made my football-watching experience even the least bit more enhanced (not to mention the poor camera-man that drew the "your camera is to be focused in on Brady's feet" straw from the pre-game assignment pool). Mr. Madden, I welcomed into my Sunday's (and now Monday's) your "booms" and your chicken scratches on the telustrator, heck, I even accept your hour-long gushes on everything Brett Favre, but I draw the line at fawning over another man's footwork.
No matter how many people tell you this between now and next Sunday, the Indianapolis Colts did nothing this weekend to prove they are any bit closer to the Super Bowl than they have been the past two seasons. Perfecting "[Tony] Dungy's system" on defense, the acquisition of Corey Simon, the planets aligning — none of this created the dominating defensive performance we witnessed on Sunday night. That was a direct product of Kyle Boller, Jamal Lewis, and a deteriorated offensive line. If they shut down Leftwich and Co., well, then we'll have something. But until then, take this win for what it was, the exposing of one of the monumentally bad offenses of our generation.
Since we're on the subject, the Colts, as presently constituted, will never win an NFL title. Show me one team that has won the big game without dominating linebackers — just one team ... exactly. It is a little-publicized fact — but it just doesn't happen.
Kudos to the 49ers, Buccaneers, Cowboys, Lions, and my beloved Dolphins. All these teams had six wins or less last season and managed to knock off a playoff team from a year ago in their first foray into the 2005 season. Yes, it is quite impressive to see these teams return, if even for the short-term, from embarrassing 2004 seasons. But, no, none of these teams figure to be hoisting a trophy anytime soon. And, yes, Cowboy fans, this includes you.
As a Dolphin fan, the only coach I worshiped more than Nick Saban on Monday was Dick Vermeil. Don't tell my wife, but the J-E-T-S, Jets, Jets, Jets getting exposed like that almost trumps my wedding day and the birth of my children as my life's most cherished days. That's the good news. The bad news is those Jets have the Dolphins next weekend — there's nothing like a chip on the shoulder in a rivalry game. It could get very ugly in week two for my 'Fins, and it usually does when Jay Fiedler is anywhere near the Fish.
Steelers halfback Willie Parker looked spectacular on Sunday. Temper your enthusiasm for the young runner, though. Pittsburgh was playing the Titans, and that fact should not be lost on anybody. So to summarize, Willie Parker is not a shoe-in for greatness in the NFL — he is a solid, quick back who tore apart a monumentally weak defensive unit and he's much more Rueben Droughns than he is Emmitt Smith.
I would be remiss not to include the New Orleans Saints' inspiring win in this column, so this little tidbit is meant to serve just that purpose. Very well done, Jim Haslett and staff. Preparing your team under such trying circumstances is not an easy task and you really came through for your suffering fan base in bringing even just a modicum of light to an otherwise dark situation.
Speaking of those Saints, Aaron Brooks really showed a lot against Carolina in quarterbacking his team to a win. Captain Inconsistency, as I like to call him, was as accurate and quick with his reads as he's been through his entire career. Let me be one of the first onto that bandwagon in telling the masses that if Brooks is that good all season long, the New Orleans Saints are going to have an incredible year. It is worth noting, however, that the very definition of inconsistency (relative to football, of course) is to be remarkable one week and horrible the next, and Mr. Brooks didn't earn his nickname by traveling the straight and narrow path in his career exploits.
Did I mention how bad the Jets looked in Kansas City? I did? Oh well, guess I'll mention it again.
ESPN's Sunday morning primer to the NFL sure has changed since the good old days. Used to be, ESPN's NFL Game Day was full of hard-hitting insight and unprecedented all-around coverage highlighting the afternoon's games. These days we are subjected to two solid hours of Steve Young flexing his linguistic muscles, Chris Berman jumping on the nearest bandwagon, and Michael Irving attempting to dominate the stage through constant interruptions, grandiose statements, and soft interviews with his drinking buddies.
The only voice of reason seems to be Tommy Jackson — and since we're on the subject, has anyone else noticed that it looks like T.J.'s head's going to explode at least five times a week during that show? This once-proud institution for football pre-game shows now is little more than a distraction to the serious football fan, and I'd almost rather watch Terry Bradshaw flash his Super Bowl rings to Howie Long than sit through 17 weeks of awkward Kenny Mayne bits.
Kerry Collins has had an interesting career. There was the unlikely run through the playoffs he led the expansion Panthers on. There was the quitting on that same group of Carolina players. There was the saddening and maddening bout with alcoholism. There was the heroic victory over that disease. There was the low point in New Orleans when his receivers couldn't catch colds, much less his passes. And now there's Oakland and Randy Moss — a new life, many would say.
But if you watched Thursday's opening night game against New England, you saw an exposed Collins. He looked rushed, unsure of himself, and confused focusing in on only the great Randy Moss in eschewing his other receivers almost completely. Yes, the Raider QB has unbelievable arm strength and a knack for the big play, but his poise and accuracy were shockingly non-existent in week one, and either he and Randy sat down pre-game and celebrated a blue moon, or the aging Collins is beginning to show signs of wear from the regular battering he has absorbed in recent years.
Did anybody else think Brett Favre finally looked old in his game against the underrated Lions? Madden's all-time favorite tough guy at QB had to endure a terrifyingly inconsistent performance from his offensive line and may wind up hospitalized by Week 6. No disrespect intended to one of the game's greatest at his position, but perhaps Favre should look into life after football — especially considering he's closing in on Dan Marino's touchdown record and none of us want that to happen. Okay, maybe that's just me...
Not to hammer on the Jets, but couldn't it be justified that we witnessed one of the worst performances on opening day by a team in recent history this past weekend in K.C.? Okay, that was meant to hammer on the Jets.
Unlike baseball, football statistics lie. Over the prolonged course of a typical baseball season, averages and other measures of performance tend to even themselves out. Rarely do we have more than a handful of performances that we just plain did not expect in baseball. In football, however, we have many such performances each and every week. Just ask Willie Parker, Gus Frerotte, and Anthony Henry.
Smart money says none of that trio will match their week one performances in weeks to come. Still smarter money says another set of no-names will put up similar performances next week. But the smartest money says that the more we know, the less we understand, especially in football, and if it were any different we wouldn't love the sport as we do.
One final set of items to cover as I pay tribute to you fantasy geeks out there…I guess I should say we fantasy geeks out there, as I'm certainly firmly ensconced in that pop-culture phenomenon. I give you a quick and dirty summary of whom you should play and who should be avoided in Week 2...
Put Me in, Coach!
Quarterbacks — Mike Vick (vs. SEA), Trent Green (vs. OAK), Kurt Warner (vs. St.L)
Running backs — Jamal Lewis (vs. TEN), Rudi Johnson (vs. MIN), Ahman Green (vs. CLE), Brian Westbrook (vs. SF)
Wide receivers — Terrell Owens (vs. SF), Marty Booker (vs. N.Y.Jets), Plaxico Burress (vs. N.O.)
Tight ends — Alge Crumpler (vs. SEA), Jason Witten (vs. WAS), Tony Gonzalez (vs. OAK)
Defense — Dallas (vs. WAS), Detroit (vs. CHI), San Diego (vs. DEN)
Maybe Next Week
Quarterbacks — Tom Brady (vs. CAR), Brian Griese (vs. BUF), Joey Harrington (vs. CHI)
Running backs Curtis Martin (vs. MIA), Priest Holmes/Larry Johnson (vs. OAK), Edgerrin James (vs. JAX), Willie Parker (vs. HOU)
Wide receivers — Drew Bennett (vs. BAL), Lee Evans (vs. T.B.), Roy Williams (vs. CHI)
Tight ends — Marcus Pollard (vs. CHI), Alex Smith (vs. BUF), Chris Baker (vs. MIA)
Defense— Miami (vs. NY Jets), Jacksonville (vs. IND), Carolina (vs. NE)
Good luck in your fantasy leagues!
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