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1. I have an open letter I'd like to write to France, regarding Lance Armstrong and their neverending string of drug accusations.

Dear France,


You're only kidding yourself.

Sincerely,

Kevin Beane

2. It seems like the 40-ounce, and malt liquor in general, is not the de rigeur beverage it was 10 years ago. Won't you join me in contributing to its resurgence?

3. Speaking of, do they still make Country Club Malt Liquor and where can I get some? Has there ever been a more beautifully-paradoxical marketing name for a product than that?

4. The Bills looked very sharp in their throwback unis this Sunday past. Let's see them all season. I kept expecting O.J. Simpson to go straight up the middle for five yards.

6. If you bet $10 on a 200-1 shot for a team to win the Super Bowl, it'd be hard to be discourage you after just Week 1. But I put that $10 on the Jets.

7. There's a writer out there who I think has the chops to get hired by one of the big boys like Sports Illustrated, and I hope he does. Get to know Pete Fiutak. His reaction to Iowa still being ranked ahead of Iowa State in the polls: "I saw this on Sunday morning and put a bag on my head in shame like Sylvester Junior. 'Oh father.'" I laugh every time I read that. As common as Looney Tunes metaphors are, when was the last time you thought of that one?

8. Sportswriters at big-time publications I like: Steve Rushin, Peter King, Peter Gammons, Rich Eisen (when he does write), Stewart Mandel, Seth Davis.

9. One writer at a big-time publication I don't like: Gary Smith. He's considered the gold standard, but I don't get it. He is forcefully dramatic and his angles or themes never, ever resonate with me, and so he gets in the way of his own stories.

11. Another I don't like: Rick Reilly. I'm always surprised when pandering populist pieces get all the accolades (guess I'm not cynical enough), but if he's not writing a pandering populist piece, he's writing a painfully unfunny schmaltzy piece.

12. One I have mixed feelings about: Bill Simmons. His works are informal to the point of distraction, he painfully struggles with closing out his columns, and his vaguely anti-feminist, rip-on-athletes-who-do-unmanly-things vibe is really pathetic in the kind of way that makes me certain it would be exceedingly easy to kick his ass in a bar fight (maybe even for me!) But he's still a must-read because he's funny as hell.

13. Another one I am ambivalent about: Gregg Easterbrook. Great style, wonderfully-long pieces, and perhaps no sportswriter I read so easily puts his thoughts perfectly onto paper. But there's also an unmistakable pomposity there that gets a bit thick at times, and he seems to try very hard — too hard — to be (or at least come across) on both sides of the fence politically. I appreciate independent thinkers, voters, politicians, and writers, but with him it seems forced, like, "I just said something conservatives out there will appreciate, now here's something for the liberals." I agree with him that women are nice to look at, but enough already. Most of us know exactly where to go to look at the people we like to look at, and it's not an Easterbrook column. And yes, I have the same complaint with the Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue.

14. The Indians are less talented than the Yankees and the A's, but they are going to take the AL wildcard anyway because they're red-hot and seven of their of their last 16 games are against Kansas City, plus three at home against Tampa Bay.

15. Everyone across the political spectrum cries "Freedom!" ... but if you study most people's arguments carefully, you get the notion they'd really prefer a dictatorship where the dictator felt exactly the same way about everything that they do. Freedom for me, but not for thee.

16. I hope the winner of the NL West ends up with a sub-.500 record and then goes on to win the World Series. Then all the populist panderers will write self-righteous articles about how the current baseball playoff system is a travesty.

17. Team USA, the soccer one, is good enough to make the World Cup semifinals if things go their way. They have arrived and will not miss another World Cup for a very long time.

18. While waiting for the American football season to start, I gave Canadian Football a chance. I like it. I've picked a favorite team (the Montreal Alouettes), and I'm surprised how much I have truly become a real fan of the Als, as they are called. The list of guys you remember from college football (and some ex-NFLers) is too long to rattle off here, but a) it really seems to be the second-best football league, in terms of talent, in the world — I give them the nod over Arena Ball and NFL Europe; and b) Remember Robert Edwards, the Patriots star who suffered the horrible, wheelchair-threatening injury playing beach volleyball, only to make it all the way back to the NFL for a second? And you thought he retired: he's the Als' leading rusher at 581 and 6.7 yards per carry.

19. I hope the poker boom isn't just a fad. It makes surprisingly dramatic TV. To me, at least.

20. I'm still carrying the torch for golf, but with a handful of guys winning all the tournaments and no good Cinderella stories for quite awhile, I haven't felt compelled to write about it.

21. At this exact moment in history, do fans of Miami and Tulsa feel weird saying, "I love the Hurricane(s)?"

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