Everybody makes mistakes. Now, it's never a good sign when I start a column like that, but in this instance, it needs to be said. After watching my Fighting Irish destroy Pittsburgh, I started writing a column about Charlie Weis and how he differed from past ND coaches, but then I remembered something. Sometimes, the Sports Gospel has a way of jinxing people in the sports world.
I wrote a column about how Michelle Wie is going to be the next big name in women's golf ... and then promptly lost the Amateur Publinx to the lowest-ranked seed the next day. I wrote that the people in charge of hockey couldn't possibly be stupid enough to lock out the players for an entire season, and I was wrong again (although anyone could've missed, that was a colossal blunder).
I also wrote about the Calgary Flames once they were up on Tampa Bay, right before they lost the next two and the Stanley Cup to the Lightning. A few more examples of jinxes or downright blown predictions from past columns:
Curse of the Bambino
Before I go any further, let me clarify, I am not implying that the Red Sox enjoy fornicating with their mothers. Nevertheless, their demise is no less entertaining. Every fall, I hear about how this will be their year, the year they finally end the mythical curse of the Bambino. Then every fall I get to see them self-destruct and fall apart. This will never get old, as each year bears a new tragic hero for the bereaved Red Sox Nation.They just can't win ... and I love it.
I can't understand why Red Sox fans get their hopes up every year, when we all know what the outcome will be. Does it make me a bad person to enjoy watching their faces as the camera pans the crowd, showing each person with their hands clasped together in prayer, as if to ask God to have mercy on their cursed team, only to moments later see the other team (usually the Yankees) tear the heart out of every fan in Fenway?
Follow up: I wrote this after the Yankees went up 3-0, how the hell could they have choked like that? I thought that would be the safest column I had ever written. To this day, their choke job irks me, if for nothing else than it was one of the worst collapses in sports history. I will always have a certain disdain for the Yankees because they made me look like a fool ... like a damned fool.
McCool McRules
Don't get me wrong, it's nice that these big names are supporting gymnasts, but they are supporting the supporting cast to the superstar. I know who will bring pride back to America, and it's now time to get on her bandwagon. I think she is the best of the best, has the best attitude, and well, she is just cool. In fact, she is Courtney McCool.
Follow up: McCool was shafted and didn't even get to compete after the prelims. Complete garbage. Don't worry, I'll reprint that column in '08.
Jamal Lewis Can't Be Touched
Jamal Lewis should get some advice from teammate Ray Lewis, the perennial star linebacker for the Ravens who got out of murder charges in 2000. Jamal said that Ray called him when news of the arrest broke and assured him that everything would work out fine. I'm not sure what he told him, but I would bet it was along the lines of "you're a professional athlete, they can't touch you."
Follow up: Well, Lewis did end up in jail, if only for a few months. In retrospect, I knew he was headed there, I should've entitled it "Jamal Lewis shouldn't be touched," but oh well. Still lands on this list because it just doesn't fit in after what happened to him.
Ken Griffey, Jr. is Back
Junior's homecoming had been rough prior to this season, mainly due to his run of bad luck, a stretch which could only be equaled by Kenny from South Park. Now Griffey is healthy and on a tear and the fans are back with him. It only makes sense, as Junior is a great role model. He loves the game and plays hard. He is a great family man and cares more about his team than himself.
Follow up: There isn't much I can say about this. I wrote a flattering, lengthy piece on the return of one of the game's greats, only for him to have the most horrific injury of his career days later. That just sucked. I felt like I should apologize or something, as if the Sports Gospel jinx was responsible for his luck. Then again, he's had tough luck most of his time in Cincinnati, but the timing was still eerie for me. Par for the course it appears though.
And finally, the reason I bring up all my past jinxes is the column I wrote after the start of Notre Dame's season last year.
Notre Dame After Michigan
A star was born in South Bend on Saturday, in the shape of super-frosh Darius Walker, who gained 115 yards in his first three quarters of college ball, scoring two touchdowns on his way into Irish lore. Paul Hornung must've been proud of the latest playmaker in Willingham's offense, and they didn't even have to lower admission standards to get him.
Hopefully, this game will help quell the abundance of the asinine "fire [Ty] Willingham" talk. Notre Dame fans need to realize that Willingham can, and will, bring ND back into the spotlight. More than likely, they won't accept that. They will continue to complain about how ND should've hired former Holtz-assistant turned Utah coach Urban Meyer and how Willingham is the next Gerry Faust.
Follow up: I think I was pretty much on target, at least until the third sentence. Walker is a stud, but, well, Willingham didn't quite shake down the thunder. This has to be, by far, the biggest blunder I have ever made in a prediction. How could things have gone so wrong? I don't care anymore, all I care about now is not taking any chances with this, so I will only say that Charlie Weis is a hack and the Fighting Irish will not leave Ann Arbor this weekend undefeated.
Actually, screw that. If there's anyone bigger than the Sports Gospel curse, it's Charlie Weis. I'm taking the Irish 35-21 this weekend, bank on it.
The Sports Gospel According to Mark is sponsored by BetOnSports.com. BetOnSports.com gives you the greatest sports action to bet on. Wager on football, cricket, boxing, Rugby, horse racing, and more. Mark Chalifoux is also a weekly columnist for SportsFan Magazine. His columns appear every Tuesday on Sports Central. You can e-mail Mark at [email protected].
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