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September 30, 2005

When Reality and Gameday Collide

Let me preface this article by sending my prayers to all those impacted by both Hurricane Katrina and Hurricane Rita, two devastating storms that have recently ravaged the Gulf of Mexico's coastal areas. I think I speak for everyone in saying that our thoughts and prayers go out to each of you in this time of need.

If any readers out there have access to a television, I'm sure you saw clips of the mass exodus responsible for the snarling of all routes leading out of Houston. And if you've ever read any of my pieces on this site, you may have gathered that I am a Houstonian myself.

Adding two-and-two together, you may also have figured out that my family and I were part of that exodus. While toiling through that traffic nightmare en route to Dallas (a four-and-one-half hour ride that was completed in a ridiculous 20 hours) was, to say the least, rough, it paled in comparison to Sunday's comparatively shorter six-hour ride home. How could a six-hour drive be worse than one taking 20 hours? Do I even need to answer that question?

As my family and I idled along in a convoy of family heading for home on Sunday afternoon, my mind was riddled with worry and guilt. Worry for what awaited me upon my arrival to my home in Houston (turns out all was well, save for some light wind damage and lots of spoiled perishables in my refrigerator); guilt for being upset with my wife for insisting we leave our cozy Dallas hotel on a Sunday full of compelling pigskin contests when so much real-life drama had unfolded just days earlier.

Sure, my responsibilities as a husband, father, homeowner and employee to a major natural gas company dictated that I should return home as soon as humanly possible. But it just doesn't seem right wasting 1/17th of an already too short football season swearing at traffic and praying for the next service station to have some available gas. Better judgment (my wife's words, not mine) prevailed, of course, and on the road we were come noon on Sunday. To this end, I've encapsulated the National Football League's third week of action from my point of view ... on the road in southeast Texas on a 100-degree Sunday afternoon battling traffic, gas shortages, and the unpredictability of AM radio.

11:47 AM My brother-in-law/co-pilot (who is a diehard Astros fan, I should add) for the trip has located a handy football pre-game show on the AM dial. At this point, we're just leaving our suburban Dallas hotel and things don't look as bad as I had initially anticipated. Nothing new in the news department, and I begin to transition into my usual Sunday afternoon mentality in preparation for what is sure to be an exciting few hours of football, even if I can't watch the unfolding action live and in color.

12:07 PM My "warm and fuzzy" feelings of contentment meet their first signs of resistance. It has dawned on me that this station serves up a delicious buffet of pre-game action, but does not provide listeners with an actual game. Still, it seems that this particular radio show will provide up-to-the-minute updates as they jump from on-site reporter to on-site reporter in all 11 cities hosting NFL games this weekend. Things are still looking up at this point, especially as I hear from the Minnesota pundit that Daunte Culpepper has tossed a touchdown pass, which should help out my fantasy team. This isn't so bad after all, I think to myself.

12:17 PM Woo-hoo! News from Miami is good ... the Dolphins have taken an early 7-0 lead on the Panthers with a TD to tight end Randy McMichael (who, coincidentally, is also on my fantasy team). I can certainly live vicariously through this station for the next few hours, anyway.

12:31 PM Still nothing but good news, though my co-pilot is beginning to tire of the constant football-related chatter emanating from my vehicle's squawk-box. As I said, he's a huge baseball fan and not as passionate as I over all-things football. I can overlook his complaints, however, in light of the fact that Miami now has a 10-3 lead on Carolina and Culpepper has chucked another TD pass against the Saints.

12:58 PM As we meander through the freeways leading out of Dallas, I decide to relent to my now visibly-shaken shotgun rider and allow him to surf the AM airwaves in search of an update on his Astros as they battle my Cubbies. All things considered, this hasn't been so bad after all. The Dolphins' lead is now 17-3, my fantasy outlook is bright, and I've had a solid hour of constant football updates, sating my appetite for the time being. My constitution is much better than I figured it would be at this point and I don't even get too perturbed at my wife's first call to my cell phone, which includes a 30-second diatribe on driving too fast (I am leading our convoy of six cars, full of my in-laws and other relatives and have unbeknownst to me opened up a sizeable gap between myself and car No. 2 in our entourage).

12:59 PM Trouble suddenly begins to brew in my happy little world. My brother-in-law has located a feed to Houston's baseball coverage. The silver lining to this cloud is that it is at least the Cubs that the 'Stros are playing this afternoon. Unfortunately, my beloved Cubbies are long since removed from the playoff race, which makes this little more than an item of passing interest to me. Though I have a very good relationship with this particular brother-in-law, I can't convince myself to insist on his returning the radio setting to that helpful football in-game show and I force myself to listen to an inning of this meaningless baseball game sans complaint.

1:08 PM Inning over, let's get back to the football scores. Noooooooooooooooo! It seems that football show has been replaced by a Dallas Cowboy pre-game show. And not just a simple get-you-ready-for-the-game type of show. This is a full-blown, Cowboy-centric propaganda-fest, complete with analysis from Richie Anderson and some bit on keys to winning which includes oh-so-obvious entries like "attack the defense" and "make good on third downs." Worse yet, the Cowboy game doesn't start until 3 PM. I am shocked an appalled to learn that this inane preparatory commentary will last for two solid hours. The ride has suddenly grown exponentially longer and more monotonous.

1:17 PM After listening for nearly ten minutes, I simply cannot justify to my counterpart any longer that we should listen to this Cowboy garbage. I instruct him to switch back to the Houston/Chicago game and I slump discouraged into my driver's seat. This is immediately followed by another call from the wife regarding my inability to pace myself on this trip with so many others following my lead.

1:18 PM We've both learned that Derrek Lee has homered the Cubbies to a 1-0 lead. At least I have that. I spend the next several minutes hurling good-natured barbs at my navigator knowing deep down inside that I really do mean what I'm saying. I hate the 'Stros and I hope they fall flat on their faces. Go Phillies. I just don't think I can take another playoff run from the home-town Astros, especially in light of today's football travesty. But I digress...

1:38 PM Still 1-0 in the baseball game and a rain delay has now gone into effect. At long last, I think to myself, we will surely be given a rundown of today's sporting information on this station as they kill time through the rain delay. Wrong again. It seems this baseball feed is inexplicably being carried on some psychotropic feel-good station. The break in baseball action returns the listeners to the regularly-scheduled programming, which is a call-in show about how you should treat others as you wish to be treated. Glad tidings abound on this show, but there is no happiness in Matt-ville, where my frustration has matured into full-blown desperation as I plead for someone, anyone, to give me fresh football scores. I talk my brother-in-law into surfing the airwaves once again, but find little solace.

1:42 PM After a fruitless search for someone with football info, we've returned to that damned Cowboy pre-game rhetoric. Those very same keys to winning are represented again verbatim. You'd think they'd at least change the presentation a bit. Alas, this is a Cowboy pre-game show and those mindless recluses would likely get confused. This ride really sucks.

2:11 PM I officially can no longer take Richie Anderson's gibberish. He's said exactly one intelligent thing since I've been listening, and that was little more than a recital of fact related to last week's Cowboy meltdown against the Redskins. I have taken over control of my radio and have found some scratchy station that fades in-and-out, but clearly is sports-related. The deafening silence is beginning to look like the best alternative to my current rage-filled search for football scores, but I'll give this station a try.

2:13 PM After "sushing" my neighbor's pleas for anything but this white-noise that I claim will give us football scores, I can barely make out a rundown of the day's action. Miami still leads, though 24-17 isn't exactly the strangle-hold I had hoped for. Jets have tied things up against Jacksonville and it sounds like the Vikes are destroying the poor, homeless Saints. Beyond that, I can make out little. But that will have to do for now. I again give up control of the radio having been somewhat vindicated for my patience.

2:14 PM Back to the baseball game, we learn that the action is just about to start up again. I can cope with this choice in listening fare, as Chicago holds onto a miniscule lead and this game will, if nothing else, cure my sports "jones" until we are in range of a viable replacement station.

2:59 PM After 45 minutes of uneventful baseball commentary, I am ready to hear some football again. We near the three o'clock hour, meaning final scores should be trickling in, and I'm ready and willing to listen to the Cowboys game, a clear indication that I likely have lost my mind. I take my first notice of our journey's progress and realize that we're making remarkable time considering the possibility for delays that we could have faced. It appears we're about two-and-one-half hours outside of Houston and, better yet, I've eyed a gas station that is open for business. A break is in order and I pull in, with our convoy in tow, still praying for the unrelenting frustration of a football-less Sunday to end. "Maybe they've got a TV," I think to myself.

3:22 PM No TV, but after refueling the vehicle at Exxon and ourselves at McDonald's, I race to beat my co-pilot into the car. Once settled behind the wheel, I frantically scan the AM dial for some news, good or bad. Eureka! We're in range of my favorite Houston AM sports station and I know that they have frequent sports ticker updates. Unfortunately, the station has been in emergency management mode since last Wednesday and now most of their programming revolves around disaster updates. Still, I know I must be diligent, as the sports updates will come eventually. But when?

3:40 PM After 15 minutes or so of stalling the resident Astros fan and his insistence that we return to the baseball game, I am rewarded with a full run-down of the early afternoon NFL action. Colts win behind another strong defensive performance (phooey). Vikings romp (good for my fantasy team, bad for the Saints, for whom you must feel some sense of sympathy). Bengals and Falcons win (my two Super Bowl picks, so I feel good about this). Most importantly, the Fish win behind a late field goal.

Adding a cherry to that sundae, I learn that the Jets not only lose their game in OT, but they also lose their top two QBs (though Jay Fiedler's stature as a No. 2 QB is a point of contention with me). Since I haven't yet mentioned it in this article, let me inform all the readers that I detest the Jets with all of my being. While I don't wish particular harm on anyone, I am strangely satisfied to learn that Pennington has aggravated his shoulder problem and will likely miss the rest of the season. I breathe a huge sigh of relief and again defer to my company as he relocates the baseball game on the radio.

4:02 PM Astros have tied the game up late. I knew this was coming. And there goes the lead on a single, scoring a player from second base. Again, saw it coming. Well, at least my Dolphins won. Still, I will now have to listen to my travel-mate rant on and on about his Astros.

4:13 PM Jeremy Burnitz has just hit an improbably homer to lift the Cubs to a 3-2 lead. This day full of trials and tribulations is finally looking to be a very good one indeed, though I wish the game would end so I could once again listen to some football. During one commercial break, I scanned the stations and found a live feed of the Patriots/Steelers game. Should be a good one and I really want to listen in.

4:38 PM Finally, Ryan Dempster has closed the door for the Cubs and the Astros are sent home losing two-of-three. Very nice indeed, now let's find that football game!

6:11 PM Fortunately for my sanity, I've convinced my travel companion to allow for us to listen to the Pats/Steelers game for nearly two hours straight. It has been a great game, and now all hangs in the balance pending a mid-range field goal from the Pats' Adam Vinatieri. Wonder what's going to happen ... as if. As suspected, the kick is up and good, and so ends our strange and wonderful trip. As the sounds of the raucous crowd pipe through my car's speakers, a shrill shriek of recognition is yelped by my brother-in-law as we approach Houston's city limits.

Lessons learned on this trip? Sure, there are several. Don't always believe the weatherman would be the frontrunner in this category, though I will say it is far better to be safe than to be sorry.

Secondly, on any long trip, I would strongly recommend riding in a car separate from your wife, 6-year-old son, and 1-year-old daughter. That's why they make mothers-in-law (they will happily keep their daughters/grandchildren company) and the sanity that you save not hearing a constant array of mother-child infighting, sports-related nagging, and pre-speech baby talk is worth its weight in gold.

Thirdly, it is not better to have not watched your team in a win than to have seen them in a loss. I can't stress that enough. Win or lose, true fans live or die with their teams, and having to wait on some damn AM station to bring you up to speed is almost as cruel a punishment as the Chinese water torture.

There was one final lesson. "Picking your battles" could and rightly should be applied to any situation where your wife is insisting upon undergoing a half-day long trip in lieu of relaxing in front of six hours of professional football action. It is true that God should always come first and family second, but football runs a close third and if neither of the other two are effected, what harm is done?

Take it from me on that last item, it is a battle well worth fighting. Work, home, and family will all wait ... football will not.

Posted by Matt Thomas at 1:32 PM | Comments (0)

NASCAR Top 10 Power Rankings: Week 28

Note: the quotes in this article are fictional.

1. Jimmie Johnson — Johnson silenced the critics who doubted his Cup title chances with a win at Dover that propelled him five places to the top of the points. Johnson led 134 of 404 laps, and held off teammate Kyle Busch for the win.

"But my toughest battle was getting by the No. 01 car of Joe Nemechek,” says Johnson. "He's a lap down and holding up traffic. Anyway, how does the Army have money to sponsor a car? Shouldn't they be spending money on more important things? Anyway Nemechek, here's fair warning: on the race track, Lowe's supercedes the Army, so get out of the way.”

Johnson finished 20th at Talladega earlier this year, and 37th there last fall. Expectations are much higher for the No. 48 Lowe's squad that is now hitting its stride.

2. Ryan Newman — Newman backed up his round one victory with a pole and a fifth-place finish at the Monster Mile, which holds him steady at number three in the points. Previously trailing Tony Stewart and Greg Biffle, Newman now is behind Jimmie Johnson and Rusty Wallace.

"I'm sure Rusty's getting a big kick out of being in front of me," says Newman. "I can't wait for him to give up that No. 2 car, so I can have a brand new teammate to dislike."

Restrictor plate racing has never been Newman's strongest suit, but now would be the time to make it. The goal is to avoid the accidents and score a top ten.

3. Rusty Wallace — Wallace powered to a third-place finish at Dover, and he's now second in the points, the highest he's been in the rankings all year. The third-place was Wallace's eighth top five of the year, and was his third-straight in the top six.

"Maybe I should rethink this retirement," says Wallace. "The older I get, the better I get. You know what they say about fine wine? It's not as good as an ice-cold Miller Lite. And, oh yeah, and it gets better with age. Sorry, just had to plug my sponsor."

Wallace's last top-10 at Talladega came in 2003. It's time for another if he hopes to maintain the two spot in the points.

4. Tony Stewart — Stewart's string of top-10s came to a screeching halt, as he qualified 31st and finished 18th, two laps down. His last finish of 18th or lower occured way back in early June at Pocono. After that 29th-place finish, Stewart began his streak that put him on top of the points.

"Hopefully, my finish of 18th will be the start of another hot streak," says Stewart. "I think it's about time for me to climb another flag stand."

Three of Stewart's last four starts at Talladega have resulted in top-10s, including a second this May. Expect Stewart to be near the front, if not leading, at the end.

5. Greg Biffle — Biffle finished a disappointing 13th, his first finish out of the top 10 in six races. It dropped him four places in the points to sixth, 23 points off of Johnson's leading pace.

"Hey, it's like Mad Magazine's Alfred E. Neuman says, 'What, me worry?'" says Biffle. "I'm 23 points down. That's chicken feed. I'm right where I want to be."

Biffle has never recorded a top-10 finish in six tries at Talladega. This race could be the key to Biffle's Cup hopes, as anything beyond the top 20 will put him in the hole.

6. Mark Martin — On a rough day for Roush Racing, Martin was the only member to finish in the top five. His fourth-place result moved him from seventh to fourth in the points, 21 out of the lead.

"In times like these," says Martin, "it's up to the veteran to keep the team together. That would be me. I've got to keep the youngsters from pouting when the chips are down. In blunter terms, I'm the one to give 'em a good old boot in the tail if necessary."

Martin has 21 top-10s and two wins at Talladega in his career. He is always consistent, so expect him to add to his top ten tally.

7. Matt Kenseth — Kenseth's streak of five straight top-10s ended in the wall at Dover when a cut right front tire sent him crashing on lap 367. The No. 17 DeWalt Ford suffered serious damage, and Kenseth finished 35th, completing only 58 laps.

"What can you do?" asks Kenseth. "It's totally beyond my control. Maybe it's fate, karma, destiny, if you believe in that crap. I believe that I ran over some useless piece of debris put on the track by anti-Matt Kenseth conspirator."

Kenseth fell four places to ninth in the points, 124 out of first. He will need a career-best at Talladega to get back in the hunt.

8. Kurt Busch — Despite leading a race-high 192 laps, Busch finished 23rd, three laps down, and fell further back of the points lead. Busch was in the pits when a caution came out on lap 366, putting him a lap down. A few laps later, he came in to correct a tire problem, and was caught speeding on pit lane.

"I guess I can get rid of this useless rabbit's foot,” says Busch. "But look on the bright side. I can't have any more bad luck. Can I?”

Not unless Jimmie Spencer shows up outside your driver's side window.

Busch is usually strong at restrictor plate races. In his position, 170 points, down, he has to go for the win.

9. Jeremy Mayfield — With a solid seventh-place finish at Dover, Mayfield improved one position in the points to seventh. More importantly, he knocked 14 points off his deficit from the lead, now only 81 behind Jimmie Johnson after trailing Tony Stewart by 95 after New Hampshire.

"Now, if I could just knock that many strokes off my golf game,” says Mayfield, "I might be ready to challenge on the celebrity golf tour.”

Mayfield's best finish at Talladega came this spring, when he finished fourth, and he has three poles at the 2.66-mile Alabama track. Mayfield is fast there, and, if he avoids the accidents bound to happen, he could land in the top-five again.

10. Carl Edwards — Edwards raced to a ninth-place finish, owing much to the luck of being in the right place at the right time when cautions came out. Edwards improved one spot in the points to eight, 103 behind leader Jimmie Johnson. The No. 99 car only took two tires on a pit stop on lap 281, which allowed the car to gain track position that made a top-10 possible.

"Sure, my Cup hopes may be slim,” says Edwards. "But I'm hoping for a huge 42-car pileup at Talladega, leaving me as the only car running. That would improve my chances dramatically.”

In his two trips to Talladega in a Cup car, Edwards has recorded finishes of 32nd and 42nd, which are certainly not Cup-worthy.

Posted by Jeffrey Boswell at 1:03 PM | Comments (1)

September 29, 2005

NFL Weekly Predictions: Week 4

Note: the quotes in this article are fictional.

Buffalo @ New Orleans

What does the "J.P." in J.P. Losman stand for? A) juniper panties, B) Japanese Powerbomb, C) jittery pansy, or D) just pathetic.

"I'll answer that," says Bills coach Mike Mularkey, "but I'd like to call a friend and I'd like to buy a vowel. I'd like to call former Bills' quarterback Jim Kelly and ask him if he'd like to come out of retirement and quarterback us. And I'd like to buy an 'I'. Place that between the 'J' and the 'P,' and you get 'jip.' We got jipped with our draft pick of Losman. By the way, the answers are C and D."

Indeed, Regis Philbin or Pat Sajak could probably man the position better than Losman, who appears to be Buffalo's weakest link, and his play has placed the Bills' playoff hopes in jeopardy. Losman passed for only 75 yards against the Falcons, which is a pretty good first quarter for someone like Donovan McNabb, Carson Palmer, or George Blanda.

The Saints will play the second of their traveling home schedule in San Antonio's Alamo Dome, home of the NBA's San Antonio Spurs, and not much else, except for a few monster truck shows, RV expos, and the 2006 Paintball World Championship.

"Hey, as long as it has a roof and I can't see the sky and the turf has a blue-green hue," says Saints' running back Deuce McAllister, "then it might as well be the Superdome."

McAllister should find room to run against the Bills' league-worst rushing defense, especially after the loss of linebacker Takeo Spikes. The same goes for the Bills' McRunning back, Willis McGahee, because the Saints' aren't much better stopping the rush. The difference will be made by the quarterbacks. The Saints' Aaron Brooks is error-prone, while Losman is an error pro, and can't even complete 50% of his passes.

The Saints pound McAllister, to the tune of 150 yards and two TDs as New Orleans grinds out a 22-17 win.

Denver @ Jacksonville

Once again, the Jags are winning with defense and the clutch passing of Byron Leftwich. Last Sunday, Jacksonville held the Jets to 168 yards total offense, and Leftwich's 36-yard TD pass to Jimmy Smith won it in overtime.

"And don't forget our clock-killing strategy of running Fred Taylor 37 times for 98 yards," says Jack Del Rio. "As you can see by the 2.6 yards per rush average, we obviously didn't do that for the yardage. That's Jack Del Rio football right there: killing the already-fragile knees of Taylor."

Denver is winning with a balanced attack, the quarterbacking of Jake Plummer, and the evil genius of coach Mike Shanahan. Not happy with simply beating San Diego, Shanahan was fined $20,000 last week for saying the officials made a "horrible" call in Week 2's game against the Chargers. I guess that's the league's way of saying, "Shanny, know your role and shut your mouth." The league also noted that any future complaints from the temperamental Shanahan would be handled with more fines, and in the event of further transgressions, the Broncos may be forced to forfeit their first round playoff game at Indianapolis.

"At least that would save us the trip up there and the humiliation of a blowout defeat," says Shanahan.

Last year, when these two teams met in Jacksonville, the Jags won 7-6 on a late Leftwich pass to Ernest Wilford. This week's game will also be a defensive struggle, but what Jacksonville game isn't? This time, the Jags don't wait until the end to score. Josh Scobee kicks three field goals, and Leftwich hits rookie Matt Jones for a score.

Jacksonville wins, 22-17.

Detroit @ Tampa Bay

Wait a minute. Didn't the Bucs move to the NFC South after realignment three years ago? Then why do they keep playing NFC North teams? After wins over the Vikings and Packers, Tampa looks to go 3-0 versus the North with a win over Detroit.

"Chalk it up," says Tampa coach John Gruden. "We roll with Cadillacs here, Cadillac Williams to be exact. These suckers in Detroit ride Fords, or at least they are owned by the Fords, William Clay Ford, to be exact."

Yes, the Bucs are riding Williams, and the new car smell is long gone. Williams leads the NFL in rushing yards, as well as carries, and after 158 yards last Sunday versus Green Bay, he now owns the record for rushing yards in his first three games. But, will averaging nearly 30 carries a game be too much for the rookie's legs to maintain?

"I don't know," says Williams. "Is it normal not to be able to walk for two days after a Sunday game?"

Only if you are Curtis Martin, Fred Taylor, or Earl Campbell. You're in your early 20s. You should be good to go until you're about 32 or 33. Then you might want to start looking for alternative forms of locomotion.

The Lions will be rested after a bye week in which they probably spent analyzing what went wrong in their Week 2 loss to the Bears, 38-6. If they can't figure it out, I'll tell them: a "good defense" is what went wrong. And unfortunately, Tampa has one, too. The Bucs stop the run, get a lead, run Williams 30 times, and force the Lions to throw. And Joey Harrington has proven he's not too good at that.

Williams breaks 100 yards again, and the Bucs avoid a letdown against the rested Lions.

Tampa Bay wins, 24-21.

Houston @ Cincinnati

First, the bad news, David Carr. You're playing a Bengals' defense that has picked off five interceptions in each of its last two games.

"And the good news?" Carr asks with baited breath.

Okay, here it is. You could only throw four interceptions and still call it a good day.

"Well then," says Carr. "I've got a lot of good days to look forward to. Is getting sacked five times considered a good day?"

Only for the Houston offensive line.

Houston enjoyed a bye in Week 3, which gave them a chance to rest and bask in the ignominy of being the team picked on by fantasy owners.

"Picked on?" says coach Dom Capers. "What does that mean?"

It means that whatever team is playing Houston, fantasy owners want that team as their defense.

On the other hand, you don't want the Bengals' offense playing your fantasy defense. If you play fantasy football and have the Houston defense starting against the Bengals, get out. Get out now. Anyway, Carson Palmer is finally living up to his No. 1 draft pick status, Chad Johnson is living up to his mouth, and Rudi Johnson is his usual self: a workhorse. This one could get ugly. Chad Johnson calls out Texans' cornerback Dunta Robinson, then burns him on the games' third play. Carr is chased out of the pocket all day, and throws three interceptions. The Bengals then ice it with Rudi.

Cincinnati wins, 31-7.

Indianapolis @ Tennessee

The Colts are 3-0 and lead the AFC South after last Sunday's tough 13-6 win over Cleveland.

"So why am I receiving all this hate mail?" asks an upset Peyton Manning.

Here's why. Those letters probably came from the thousands of fantasy owners who drafted you No. 1 overall. You know, the ones who were expecting you to average about three TD passes a game. As it is, you don't even have three TD passes for the year. Heck, even your brother, Eli, has five TDs.

"That stuff doesn't matter to me," say Manning. "All I've got yo say to you geeky fantasy owners is 'get a life.' Now, excuse me while I go study the blitzing tendencies and coverage schemes employed by the Tennessee Titan's on third down situations when the score is tied and the temperature in Lisbon, Portugal is greater than 87 degrees."

The Titans are 1-2, and hung tough with the Rams last week before falling 31-24. Earlier this week, the Titans lost running back Travis Henry to a four-game suspension, a casualty of the league's substance abuse policy.

"Yeah, I think Travis was stoned last week against the Rams," says Titans' coach Jeff Fisher. "Three carries for zero yards. Sounds to me like Travis just wanted to get back to the sidelines for some Cheetos and Gatorade."

To have any chance of winning, the Titans will have to get some production from running back Chris Brown — if they don't, they may face the full fury of the Indy pass rush.

"To heck with what Brown does," says Colts' defensive end Dwight Freeney. "We're coming after McNair regardless. But we might let a few touchdowns slip by us. We know our offense has been sandbagging to test us. Well, we're turning the tables. We're giving up at least 17 points. If Peyton Manning and the boys can't score more than that, then we're in trouble."

Both the Indy defense and offense break new ground. The offense scores more than 24, and the defense gives up more than six.

Colts win, 27-21.

San Diego @ New England

In the second of four straight games against last year's playoff teams, the Patriots will look to do the near impossible: deny LaDainian Tomlinson a touchdown. Tomlinson scored four, including a passing TD to Keenan McCardell, in the Chargers 45-23 win over the Giants. Tomlinson extended his NFL record to 15 consecutive games scoring a touchdown.

"I can't guarantee that Tomlinson won't score a touchdown," says Patriot coach Bill Belichick. "But I can guarantee he won't throw a touchdown pass. My Patriots have gone 116 consecutive games without allowing a running back to throw a touchdown pass."

San Diego is in the win column, but faces a brutal stretch in their schedule. After New England, they host Pittsburgh, then travel to Oakland, then to Philadelphia, then host Kansas City. They could possibly go 0-5 in those.

"Or 1-4, or 2-3, or 3-2, or 4-1, or 5-0," says Chargers' coach Marty Schottenheimer. "Obviously, at 1-2, and taking into account the competitiveness of the AFC West, we'd have to go 4-1 to be in good playoff position. Is that going to happen? If L.T. can give me four touchdowns as he did last week, I like our chances. If not, we're toast."

Would you like butter on that, Marty?

The Patriots have a tough stretch ahead, as well, facing road games in Atlanta and Denver in Weeks 5 and 6. And they will be without safety Rodney Harrison, who injured his knee last Sunday and is out for the season, or, as Belichick calls it, "probable." The Pats are the most resilient team in the NFL, and despite injuries, will win at home. Tomlinson is held in check, and Tom Brady throws for 300 yards and two TDs.

New England wins, 23-16.

Seattle @ Washington

Believe it or not, Washington is one of four unbeaten teams remaining after three weeks.

"Yeah, but of all those," says 'Skins coach Joe Gibbs, taking a break from shining his 1/64th scale No. 20 Home Depot Joe Gibbs Racing Chevrolet Monte Carlo, "we're the only one at 2-0. Haha! Take that, all you 3-0 suckers."

Apparently, Gibbs' mind is slipping in his old age, or maybe he's just giddy at Washington's surprise start. Gibbs is used to winning with offense, but this year, the 'Skins are doing it with defense, allowing only 10 points a game. But on offense, Washington does have an old Gibbs' staple, the "Fun Bunch," albeit a one-man "Fun Bunch" with wide receiver Santana Moss. Moss single-handedly beat the Cowboys in Week 2, then had to high five himself in the new "Fun Bunch" celebration, since he's the only member.

Seattle is 2-1 after last week's demolition of Arizona, tied with the Rams atop the NFC West. Shaun Alexander is leading the way, with five rushing touchdowns, and a goofy touchdown celebration in which he cradles the football and pats it like a baby.

"Isn't that precious?" jokes 'Hawks QB Matt Hasselbeck. "Shaun's a great father, a great running back, and, above all, he's the biggest dork I know."

Washington's defense is very strong, but would be even stronger if the offense was more reliable. Can the 'Skins expect Mark Brunell to hook up with Moss for two bombs every game? No. Every two games? No. Every eight games? No. Every season? Yes. So, they have already reached their allotment. Washington will limit the Seahawks' offense, but won't contain it. Alexander will score, and the 'Skins won't keep up.

Seahawks win, 20-13.

St. Louis @ N.Y. Giants

The 2-1 Rams visit the 2-1 Giants, in the "We Got Rid of Kurt Warner, and We're Much Better Off For it" Bowl.

"And what does the winner get?" asks Rams' coach Mike Martz. "A night with Brenda Warner?"

No, that's what the loser gets. As as a bonus gift, you also receive the "Kurt Warner 5 o'clock Shadow Shave Kit."

While Warner has quarterbacked the Cardinals to an 0-3 start, the Giants and Rams both stand at 2-1. The Rams are scoring in bunches, and giving up points in bunches as well, blowing a 14-point lead at Tennessee before winning. After playing the Giants, the Rams will host the Seahawks in Week 5, in a battle for early control of the West.

"And we can't afford to look ahead to that game," says Rams' coach Mike Martz. "And I'll remind my guys of that incessantly, even though that will defeat the purpose, because I'll keep reminding them of something they're supposed to forget. Maybe I'll just shut up."

Three weeks into the season, and already, some Giants are having problems with Tom Coughlin's discipline. Wide receiver Plaxico Burress was benched for a few series last Sunday for being late to a meeting. Then Jeremy Shockey questioned Coughlin's actions. First of all, Shockey, mind your own business. Take a ride on the subway and deal with your own problems. And Plaxico, answer me this: would you be late to pick up your new diamond earring, or to have your cornrows tightened, or to get a relatives' face tattooed on your shoulder?

"No, I wouldn't," replies Burress. "But there's a difference. I'm paying them. The Giants are paying me."

Good point. But one that I'm sure would send Coughlin into a rage.

Expect big games from quarterbacks Eli Manning and Marc Bulger. A late Bulger turnover leads to the winning Jay Feeley field goal, and the Giants win, 27-26.

N.Y. Jets @ Baltimore

With the Jets at 1-2 and the Ravens 0-2, both teams are poised to make drastic changes. Wait! Herman Edwards! Brian Billick! Don't start cleaning out your offices just yet. You're not getting fired.

"Whew! That was close!" says Billick. "Now, I can get down to the business of turning this team around and making those experts that picked us to go 12-4 look far less stupid. Anyway, this week, we're implementing an empty backfield look. And it's not the empty backfield you're used to, where the QB lines up behind center with no running backs in the backfield. With our new empty backfield look, we're doing away with the quarterback altogether and snapping the ball directly to the defense. Different process. Same result."

Last week against the Jaguars, two Jets' quarterbacks suffered shoulder injuries. Apparently, Chad Pennington was born with the condition, and it must be contagious, since backup Jay Fiedler separated his shoulder in relief. As a result, Brooks Bollinger has been named starter for this Sunday's contest in Baltimore. The Jets also signed Vinny Testaverde, which adds a full year to the average age of NFL players.

"We're counting on Brooks to 'shoulder' the load," says a grinning Jets' coach Herman Edwards, ever the optimist. "I'm not sure which arm Brooks throws with, but he can give play signals with either hand, so I'm sure he'll be fine."

The Jets really don't need arms to win this game, because any points they score will be from the foot, namely the right one of kicker Mike Nugent. The same goes for the Ravens, whose quarterback situation isn't much better. Look for both defenses to stack up against the run and dare the offenses to find a decent right arm with which to pass.

How can this game not be close? I could flip a coin, or say to myself, "Brooks Bollinger against the Baltimore defense." Enough said.

Ravens win, 15-12.

Dallas @ Oakland

"Is this how my investment was supposed to pay off?" asks a concerned Raider owner Al Davis, in a mid-week meeting with head coach Norv Turner. "Come on, Norv. You've got Randy 'Madd Skillz' Moss on your roster. And the best you can do is 0-3?"

"Did you just say 'Madd Skillz?'" asks Turner. "Anyway, Mr. Davis, I promise we'll turn this thing around. The Kerry Collins to Randy Moss connection is working — we just have to get the running game clicking. So, settle down, stop worrying, go back to your coffin, sleep until dark, wake up at dawn, say 'cock-a-doodle-do,' and go about your normal routine."

The Raider running game is a problem, averaging only 62 yards a game, 31st in the league. Last week against the Eagles, Oakland rushed 22 times for 21 yards. For those of you without knowledge of advanced mathematics, that's less than one yard a carry. And while Philly's David Akers was kicking crippled, it was the Raiders' Sebastian Janikowski who missed two field goals. Not to mention, the Raiders are one of the most penalized teams in the league.

"Sure, the Raiders have problems," says Dallas' Bill Parcells, "but so do we. We're giving up way too many big plays, we can't cover anyone downfield, and our kicker is hit-or-miss."

Oh yes, the kicker. That would be Jose Cortez, who, after missing an extra point last Sunday, was confronted by teammate Larry Allen. Luckily for Cortez, Allen didn't do the obvious: slather Cortez in salsa, place him in a tortilla shell, and devour him. Instead, Allen grabbed Cortez by the facemask and gave him a good shaking. Cortez did what any 180-pound man would do when confronted by a 360-pound man: nothing. That competitive fire makes the Cowboys go. And they will need that and more to stop the Raiders in the Black Hole.

Mention the word "Moss" to the Cowboys, and shivers go up their spine, and curse words go out of Parcell's mouth. Add "Randy" to it, and they really freak out. Moss has dominated the Cowboys and has never lost to them.

And Moss continues to haunt the Cowboys, who passed on him in the 1998 draft. Moss grabs eight catches for 140 yards and two touchdowns. After his second TD, Moss presents the ball to Cowboys' receiver Keyshawn Johnson.

"Here you go, K.J. I'm giving you the damn ball," Moss quips.

Dallas coach Bill Parcells can't help but chuckle, even though the Raiders get their first win with a 34-27 victory.

Minnesota @ Atlanta

It took him three weeks, but Minnesota quarterback Daunte Culpepper finally realized that a completion is defined as a pass to a teammate. After eight interceptions and no touchdowns in the first two weeks, Culpepper threw three TDs and no picks as the Vikings whipped the Saints by a score of 33-16.

"I realized what my problems was," explains Culpepper. "I've been trying to throw to No. 84."

The Vikings' first win of the season gave them a record of 1-2, which in the NFC North is good enough for a tie for second, a half-game out of the Lions' blazing 1-1 start.

This is a huge (or "uge," if you're Al Michaels) game for both teams. A loss by the Vikes and they fall to 1-3 heading into a bye week. A loss by the Falcons, and they'll be 2-2 as the Patriots come to town in Week 5. And, if the Bucs beat the Lions, Tampa will have a full two-game lead in the South.

"Do I look worried?" asks Atlanta coach Jim Mora. "I can't see Vikings' coach Mike Tice outsmarting me. In fact, I can't see Mike Tice outsmarting anyone, except for maybe Wile E. Coyote. And Vikings' management. They gave him a contract extension. I think the Acme Corporation makes a better robot coach than Mike Tice."

Minnesota can't stop the run. And they surely can't stop Michael Vick.

Falcons win, 27-20.

Philadelphia @ Kansas City

Shouldn't this be the Monday night game, or, at the very least, the Sunday night game? Shoot, I'd actually go to Mexico to watch this game instead of tuning in Sunday night to watch the 49ers and Cardinals from Mexico.

The balance of power definitely resides in the AFC, and the Eagles will look to win this one for conference pride.

"What?" says Terrell Owens. "Conference pride? Nobody cares about that. This one is all about personal glory. I've heard about this 'improved' Chiefs' defense. I'll have to see it to believe it."

The K.C. defense got rolled by the Broncos on Monday night, giving up 221 yards rushing, while only managing 74 yards on the ground themselves. They won't give up that many to the Eagles, and they are likely to rack up more than 74. Will that be enough to conquer the Eagles?

"That all depends on Donovan McNabb's injury situation," says Philly coach Andy Reid. "He's quite banged up now with a chest bruise, abdominal strain, and a contused shin."

"Yeah," says McNabb, "the heck with the trainer. I need to see a mortician."

Regardless of his injuries, McNabb will play, and the Eagles will score enough. The Chiefs will score as well, and their offensive line should open some holes against a somewhat undersized Eagles' defensive line. But Owens gives the Eagles a big edge in the wide receiver department. Owens scores a TD, as does Brian Westbrook, and McNabb survives to play another day. A Philly field goal that bounces off a defender's helmet and hits the crossbar wins it.

Eagles win, 29-27.

San Francisco @ Arizona

I can hear the Mexican announcer now, right after San Francisco's Joe Nedney nails a kick from 53 yards out to give the 49ers and early 3-0 lead: The kick is up, it's good. Field goooooooooooooooooooaaaaaaa-aaaaaaallllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll! And over 100,000 Mexican fans packed into Azteca Stadium cheer wildly, and have no reason why they are doing so.

I must commend the NFL for scheduling the 49ers and Cardinals in an attempt to impress the Mexican contingent. The Mexican people are used to seeing 2-1 soccer games, so when the two worst scoring defenses in the league square off, there is bound to be offense.

"And confusion," says Arizona head coach Dennis Green. "In soccer, they've got yellow cards, red cards, and offsides. In football, we've got yellow flags, red flags, and offsides. Let's face it. American football will never catch on in Mexico. And soccer will never match football for popularity in America. I think it's clear that the only sport that appeals to Mexicans and Americans equally is cockfighting."

The Cardinals open the game with a 75-yard scoring bomb to Anquan Boldin from Josh McCown. But the NFL's decision to use hometown referees backfires when Boldin is cited for "handball." An irate Green throws his red flag to challenge the call, but is then red-carded by an official and ejected, meaning he will have to sit out Arizona's next World Cup qualifier. For the handball, the 49ers are awarded a penalty kick, and San Fran kicker Joe Nedney beats goalie (and running back Marcel Shipp) to the upper left post, giving the 49ers a 3-0 or 1-nil lead, depending on your nationality.

The 49ers never look back, and win 29-24.

Green Bay @ Carolina

For the second time this year, the Panthers lost on a field goal with seconds left. In Week 1, New Orleans' John Carney hit the game-winner; this time, Olindo Mare's 32-yarder with seven seconds left spelled Carolina's doom.

"And give the assist to Jake Delhomme on that one," says Panthers' coach John Fox. "He really led Miami's Lance Schulters nicely on that one, and put it right on the numbers. No one ever said Jake didn't throw a catchable ball."

Like Delhomme, Brett Favre is a gunslinger, not afraid to throw in to triple-coverage if the inch or two opening is there. Some have questioned Favre's ability, at age 35, to deal with the mental and physical rigors of quarterbacking professionally.

"I don't really listen to what people have to say in that regard," says Favre. "Especially when it's coming from the mouth of Michael Irvin. I would listen, if I could understand what he's saying, but I can't. I think his mouth is too big for his pea-sized head to handle. As long as I have an arm and a body attached to it, I'll be playing."

So when Delhomme and Favre line up for a Monday night duel, one thing is bound to happen: each will shoot himself in the foot. But Delhomme's Panthers have a decent running game and a defense that often can cover for its quarterback's mistakes. Favre has neither, so it's all on his shoulders.

The Packers can't stop wide receiver Steve Smith, who catches a touchdown pass, and Stephen Davis scores on his specialty, the one-yard run. Favre throws 45 times to keep the Pack in it, but two interceptions don't help.

Carolina wins, 31-21.

Posted by Jeffrey Boswell at 5:07 PM | Comments (2)

Remembering a Legend: Casey Stengel

"Don't shed any tears for Casey. He wouldn't want you to," said Richie Ashburn, who had the honor of calling the Ol' Perfesser "Skip" in the final season of his career. "He loved life and he loved laughter. He loved people and above all he loved baseball. He was the happiest man I've ever seen."

One rests secure knowing Ashburn's wish was probably denied, for a little while, because the laughter Casey Stengel loved was equal to the laughter Casey Stengel provoked, and the latter's source would be here to feed it no more.

"God is getting an earful tonight," said Jim Murray, a Los Angeles Times columnist who was not unknown for provoking a share of mirth in his own right, when Stengel slipped at last in the swift grip of lymphatic cancer. It was only one further reason to reply, whenever it was quoted that He the Lord is a jealous God, that we had reason enough to be jealous of Him from that day forward.

Stengel died September 29, 1975. It was the Monday after the regular baseball season ended, and his funeral was not conducted for a week. "It was delayed that long," wrote his biographer, Robert Creamer (Stengel: His Life and Times, "because Monday was an off-day during the pennant playoffs then underway in each league, and baseball people traveling west to the American League [Championship Series] in Oakland would be able to attend. Stengel might have enjoyed the humor in that: Funeral postponed because of a game."

The best tribute to Stengel, Creamer noted, was not in the funeral's game plan. "As the congregation waited for the service to begin," he wrote, "there were little whispers of conversation here and there, and then a low chuckle, a muffled laugh, a giggle. They were talking about Stengel, remembering him, telling stories about him, and the bubbles of laughter kept rising all through the church — 'as though,' [former sportswriter Harold] Rosenthal said, 'the mourners had completely forgotten the current condition of the guest of honor and the reason they were all there.'"

About the only times Stengel never left them laughing were those times at which he would have to inform players of their trade or release, as managers in his day were empowered to do. The players would not laugh, but his listeners otherwise would, particularly years after the fact. "Managing the team back then was a tough business," he recalled once, of his years managing the mid-1930s Brooklyn Dodgers. "Whenever I decided to release a guy, I always had his room searched for a gun. You couldn't take any chances with some of them birds."

I never knew him to require such measures in the period which made him my Stengel, though it was a period which some may have believed would acquit him had he chosen to keep a gun at his side to use upon himself. ("If anybody wants me," he would say one night during a particularly arduous road trip, "tell 'em I'm being embalmed.")

My Stengel was not the sesquipedalian tactical maestro who brought his closer (as we would call Joe Page today) in the third inning of a pennant clinching game because, damn the book, he needed a stopper like right now, en route 10 pennants and seven World Series rings in 12 seasons, including five consecutive Series rings from the word "you're hired." (There are those who suspect, I among them, that it will prove easier to pass Joe DiMaggio's hitting streak than Casey Stengel's five consecutive World Series championships as a manager.)

Nor was my Stengel the man who hit (in 1923) the first two World Series home runs (one of them an inside-the-park number) in Yankee Stadium history. Nor was he the teacher who nearly collapsed at Ebbets Field's concrete and fold, scoreboard-bisected right field wall, before which he had played in ancient days as a Dodger outfielder, instructing a rookie named [Mickey] Mantle how to play the wall and its angle collection.

"He pointed out the cement bevel near the ground that could make a ball rebound oddly and described how a ball hitting the scoreboard above the wall could stop dead and drop straight down," Creamer wrote. "Warming to his task, he said, 'Now, when I played out here...' and Mantle looked at him in astonishment. 'You played out here?'" he asked.

"When Casey returned to the dugout, he was laughing. 'Boy never saw concrete before,' he explained to the sportswriters. 'I told him not to worry about it, that I never had no trouble with it and I played that wall for six years. He don't believe what I'm telling him. I guess he thinks I was born 60-years-old. They never believe we done anything before they did.'"

My Stengel was the elder whose laughter, his own and his inspired, was like Figaro's, that he and his listener might not weep. Come an' see my amazin' Mets. I been in this game a hundred years, but I see new ways to lose I never knew existed before.

"They are, without a doubt, the worst team in the history of baseball," said Bill Veeck to Jimmy Breslin, to whom we owe thanks for the supporting evidence, a charming little book which was republished at last almost two years ago, the title of which ought to leap into your lap shortly. "I speak with authority. I had the St. Louis Browns. I also speak with longing. I'd love to spend the rest of the summer around the team. If you couldn't have any fun with the Mets, you couldn't have any fun anyplace."

Stengel spent portion enough of his 73rd birthday talking in his customary manner — nonstop, labyrinthine Stengelese — when he suddenly unloaded in Breslin's company about an Original Mets' road jaunt West.

We're going into Los Angeles for the first time, and, well, I don't want to go in there to that big new ballpark in front of all them people and have to see the other fellas running around those bases the way they figured to on my pitchers and my catchers, too. Wills and those fellows, they start running in circles and they don't stop and so forth and it could be embarrassing, which I don't want to be.

Well, we have this Canzoneri [he meant Chris Cannizzaro] at Syracuse and he catches good and throws real good and he should be able to stop them. I don't want to be embarrassed. So we bring him and he is going to throw out these runners. We come in there and you never seen anything like it in your life. I find I got a defensive catcher, only who can't catch the ball. The pitcher throws. Oops! The ball drops out of the glove. And all the time, I am dizzy on account of these runners running around in circles on me and so forth

Makes a man think. You look up and down the bench and you have to say to yourself, "Can't anybody play this here game?"

Three guesses which phrase got mangled into one of the earliest watchwords of Mets malcompetence.

"The hiring of Stengel was a masterstroke," wrote Veeck, in The Hustler's Handbook, "because Casey could have given PR lessons to FDR. Having been fired by the Yankees for becoming the oldest living manager ever to win ten pennants in twelve years, he was returning to New York as a beloved and somewhat ill-used figure, full of years, honors, and sympathy. (Managers, like politicians, Casey has found, are far more beloved once they are out of office.) He created a feeling, I suppose, that if he could come out of retirement in his old age and suffer through a Met ball game every day, the least the rest of the subway commuters could do was to come on out and suffer along with him."

Those who call this Stengel theirs as I call him mine choose one or another moment to freeze in a frame as the singular symbol of that team and its kaleidoscopic calamity. For all his sesquipedalic speeches mine own was an instance in which he actually said nothing. Perhaps you had to be there, and I was, sort of. There was no funnier comedy on American television than the 1962 (and 1963-65) Mets, including Bugs Bunny.

First inning, Chicago Cubs versus the Mets, at the ancient Polo Grounds. The Cubs in the top of the first had delivered a bit of a shock when Lou Brock, of all people, became the first since Joe Adcock to hit one out over the straightaway center field bleachers, over 460 feet from the plate. The Mets in the bottom had just been stunned when the aforesaid Marv Throneberry whacked a triple down deep right center field, gunned it safely to third, and got himself called out when Ernie Banks called for the ball, stepped on first, and nodded to the umpire, "Didn't touch first, you know."

The umpire punched a hole in the sky with his thumb. Before Stengel could reach the umpire, intent on punching a hole in the centerfield clubhouse with the umpire's flying carcass, first base coach Cookie Lavagetto stopped him: "Forget it, Case. He didn't touch first, either."

Well, I know he touched third, because I can damn well see him standing on it.

The next Met hitter was second baseman Charley Neal, an erstwhile Brooklyn/Los Angeles Dodger. He banged one off the upper deck overhang for a home run, and before he was three steps up the first base line Stengel hobbled out of the dugout and halted him in his tracks.

The Perfesser said nothing and merely pointed to first base, stamping his foot. Only then did Neal dare to run toward first, where he crossed the bag in the prescribed manner and continued on to second. He glanced back to see Stengel pointing to second base and stamping his foot again. Manager and bombardier repeated the ritual around each base until Neal crossed the plate unmolested. Then did Stengel return to his seat in the corner of the dugout. The Polo Grounds audience went nuclear.

Once Stengel visited pitcher and future split-fingered fastball rabbi Roger Craig on the Polo Grounds mound, after Willie McCovey of the San Francisco Giants had hit a second home run off Craig. "Do you see them stands there?" Stengel asked, pointing to right field. "Do you know they are going to tear down this ballpark at the end of the season? Well, you just keep pitchin' that way to that fella and you'll give 'em a head start on the right field stands."

The Polo Grounds ended up coming down shortly after the Mets moved into spanking new Shea Stadium in April 1964. "Lovely," said Stengel, seeing the completed park for the first time. "Just lovely. The park is lovelier than my team."

Only once in awhile might we see the Stengel who had actually managed over a decade worth of Yankees, because only once in awhile did the Original Mets play baseball as though they knew what they were doing. And even then there could not be such baseball without a prelude straight from the discards of Mack Sennett, the second game of an August doubleheader against the Pittsburgh Pirates standing in memory as the perfect exhibit, particularly because I was there to see it at all of 6-years-old.

The Pirates had won the first game and had a 4-1 lead going to the bottom of the ninth and their best relief pitcher, Elroy Face, in on the bump. Early in the game, the Mets lost third base coach Solly Hemus for arguing with an umpire; first base coach Cookie Lavagetto moved to coach at third and Gene Woodling, Stengel's former Yankee platoon now reunited with his former boss as a utility player who could still hit a little, was sent out to coach at first. Midway through, Stengel needed Woodling to hit and thus another first base coach.

At Richie Ashburn's prodding, Stengel sent Marv Throneberry, whose earnest but bumbling defense balanced against his occasional offense turned him into a classic antihero. The moment he poked his nose out of the dugout to make for the coaching line, the Polo Grounds audience gave him a standing ovation. And there he stayed, working competently enough, until the Mets got something started on Face in the bottom of the ninth.

Ashburn started with a single, Joe Christopher continued with a walk, and Felix Mantilla — a third baseman whose tireless genius had been to dive exactly the wrong way on any ball grounded or lined his way — singled Ashburn home. By this time, the Polo Grounds rocked in a shift of chants from "LET'S GO, METS!" to "WE WANT MARVELOUS!" Stengel called Throneberry back from the coaching line and ordered him to fetch his bat. He stood in against Face and hit one into the right center field seats for the game, 5-4.

This is not to say that Stengel was without his critics, and here we mean not merely the ancient Boston sports columnist, reviewing a season in which Stengel was lost to the hopeless Boston Braves (whom he then managed) thanks to a fractured leg courtesy of a cab driver hitting him as he started to cross the street. The columnist proposed the cabbie receive the city's highest commendation for having done Boston baseball its biggest favour of the year.

Managing the Mets his critics included Hemus, "who was fired," the late sportswriter Ed Linn remembered, "because he ignored Stengel's admonition that coaches should be seldom seen and never heard, and more particularly because he ignored so frequently on the television show conducted by Howard Cosell, an abrasive critic who has gotten under Casey's skin." And, players who chafed under his withering sarcasm when they failed, in a favorite Stengelism, "to execute."

Those critics also included Jackie Robinson, who pronounced Stengel had become so old that he had lost his mental alertness. But Stengel's critics tended to forget that, Linn wrote, "while Casey has occasionally been caught without a pinch hitter, he has never been caught without a line." Robinson was no different, particularly with his then-employer providing an inadvertent hook. "I don't want to get involved with Robinson," Stengel retorted to the writers ("my writers") covering the Mets. "He was a great ballplayer once, but everybody knows that he's now Chock Full o'Nuts."

"Everybody knows that Casey has forgotten more baseball than I'll ever know," said Jimmy Piersall, very briefly a 1963 Met. "That's the trouble. He's forgotten it." That from a man whose shining moment as a 1963 Met was hitting his 100th career home run and shuffling around the bases backwards.

Take fieldin'. You got carelessness. A fly ball goes out there and you got those two fellas in the outfield sayin' 'I don't want it, you get it,' and they bunk heads. I ain't seen no one die on a ball field chasin' balls. Also I bet I lost six games fieldin' by a pitcher. He's got an $18 dollar glove, ain't he? He ain't blind. He got good eyes, but he's a pitcher. Fieldin' ain't his job. So I lost six games fieldin' by a pitcher. I'm workin' every day for a double play combination. Why, do you know a double play is 2/27s of the ball game? Us, we get one out, not two.

Them pitchers got to get out there thinkin', 'I'm greater than those hitters, the majority of them, anyway,' but how long can they go on gettin' shell-shocked and get out there with the spirit and attack and better control? If I tell you to pitch low and you pitch high, then what've you got? The brightest man in the world, maybe, but if you can't get that ball over, the umpire's gonna beat you if the batter don't. Throw those sinkers. Make 'em hit ground balls. Never heard anyone gettin' home runs on ground balls.

Go to the hitters. We got too many men strikin' out, too many men left on bases, too many one-run losses. If I can keep you from strikin' out 12, 15 times with men on third, I'd probably be more satisfied or near more satisfied. Can't platoon men if they don't hit against righthanded and lefthanded pitchin', sacrifice, bunt, beat the pitchers and the umpires.

Take one of those young players. All he wants is home runs, say. He looks terrific out there. Lovely swing. So he strikes out and comes back to the bench and tears up the equipment when he doesn't get a home run. When what he wants is a hit. I tell him, "Oh, that pitcher, he's a good one all right, but hit him easy — not too hard, not too soft — the ball'll move; otherwise, you're a strikeout king, not a home run king."

I'd like to get some of these Youths of America. Now if I wanted to be a big leaguer, I'd say to myself, "This is a team can give me the experience." No doubt about it, it's a terrific opportunity for the young men of America. I'd think to myself, "If I went to any other club, it'd take me longer to become a pitcher or an outfielder or an infielder, whatever." On this one, if you can outplay another player there's a possibility that in one or two years of hard work you can become a major leaguer. ... Look up the record of every player on this club. He's played more with us than he did the year before with anybody else. We need about 10 more players and that could be the youth of America. Look at all the prospects this club's had. There's good pay, a good annuity plan, live first class, go everywhere, the best hotels. And, if I was one of those prospects, I'd say to myself, "I won't let that other fella take this job away from me. I'll just play so good, the manager and the coaches and the owners have got to like me and I've got a regular job.

We got clean uniforms if you get 'em dirty. Why, the owners is just dyin' to have you get 'em dirty; I like to see 'em dirty. There's laundries. You tear a uniform, they're just waitin' to take it right off you and give you another one. There's never been such an opportunity.

The youth of America could learn things from Stengel today other than swinging easy or throwing grounders. When he first returned to Ebbets Field as a visiting player, he chatted with an old Dodger buddy and noticed him nursing a tiny sparrow. Stengel asked to borrow the creature for a spell. An inning later, he stepped in to hit and received a rather lusty booing from the Ebbets Field crowd. Then he bowed and tipped his cap. The sparrow flew out from under it and the crowd howled. There is a right way and a wrong way to get away with flipping the bird.

I saw Stengel last at an Old Timers' Day in Shea Stadium, in 1975. After the customary on-field parade of elders, through the bullpen fence came a Roman-style chariot with Stengel in it, waving an antique buggy whip. The chariot pulled to the infield area and Stengel dismounted. He looked almost twice his age (he was 85-years-old), his head seemed to sink somewhat into the shoulders of his old Met uniform, the number 37 on his back looking almost twice as large.

He was deprived by then of the only love in his life equal to baseball. Edna Stengel was confined to a nursing home following a round of small strokes robbing her of her competence, Stengel unable in his own ancient age to care for her properly, though he visited her daily when he was home. He spent his final spring training making his customary rounds and wearing their love on his sleeve: "She went crazy on me overnight. I miss her."

Creamer in Stengel shared a story "that I hope is true": hospitalized for the final time, Stengel lay in bed when a baseball telecast began, including the playing of "The Star-Spangled Banner" (they still showed that pleasing ceremony on regular-season baseball telecasts at the time). Stengel is said to have swung his legs over the side of his bed and stood at attention, his hand over his heart, saying to himself, "I might as well do this one last time."

"A lot of people are going to be surprised that Casey died," Murray wrote. "Because they didn't think he was born. Casey just came walking out of the pages of Grimm's Fairy Tales years ago. He escaped the wicked old witch's oven or jumped the club on Snow White. Disney invented him. Part moose, part mouse, sometimes he was all seven dwarfs. ... He was a genuine American heirloom, like a railroad watch. What Fernandel was to the eternal Frenchman, Cantinflas to the poor put-upon Mexican, Chaplin to tramps, Stengel was to Americana."

It sounds like a man after whom they ought to name a major league ballpark, if not retire number 37 across the major league board. (The number is worn at this writing by 17 players — all pitchers — including three on teams for whom Stengel once played or managed.) The Mets' new park has been designed but not yet built. Stengel Park, anyone?

Posted by Jeff Kallman at 4:38 PM | Comments (0)

Reversal of Fortune in the Big 10

In my Big 10 preview, I stayed pretty close to the national script — Iowa, Ohio State, Purdue, and Michigan were heads and shoulders above the remaining seven teams. After the end of most of the non-conference play, only Purdue, at this writing, has a clean non-conference sheet of the Big Four — and they still have Notre Dame left on it.

Okay, so surely the Big Four will dominate the conference play? After just one lone week of conference scrimmages, only one of the Big Four, Ohio State, is without a loss.

In the Big 10, down has always been up and predictions best made by darts.

So who is the real deal in the Big 10? Ohio State must surely still be considered a favorite. Iowa and Michigan look lost. Purdue lost a shootout on the road to Minnesota, and should rebound. But it's the teams outside the Big Four that deserve the most ink right now.

Speaking of ink, there's been much of it spilled over Minnesota's yearly near-breakthrough. With the exception of this year, there was always at least one major publication ready to declare the upcoming Big 10 season the Year of the Gopher. It still hasn't happened, and count me among those who believe it's not going to happen, at least not this year. It doesn't seem to matter if it's the NFL or NCAA, if you are a football resident of the Metrodome, you fold like prize-winning origami to the slightest of road tests. As much as I like Laurence Maroney, I'm not much of a believer in running backs carrying teams.

Or maybe I should be. If you don't know Brian Calhoun yet, introduce yourself, for it is he and not Maroney that is the best back in the Big 10.

What's amazing about Calhoun's win over Michigan is that a) with the rest of Wisconsin's offense dead up until the last three plays, Michigan could afford to key on him, b) Michigan did key on him, c) Wisconsin gave him the rock play after play anyway, d) He ripped off nice gains play after play anyway. Nice defensive effort aside, it seems fitting to award Calhoun the solo victory. Furthermore, between the lukewarm results and the recruit party scandals of last year, Calhoun (unhappy and obviously not used effectively for Colorado) may be the transfer-out that ends up costing Gary Barnett his job.

I'm sure I'm missing several people, but the last big-program-to-another transfer to have this great of an impact in college football, at least in the Big 10, might've been Jeff George's jaunt from Purdue to Illinois in 1987.

As excited as I am about Calhoun, the rest of the Wisconsin offense is probably on par with the Sun Belt Conference. One-dimensional offensive attacks haven't impressed me too much since the heyday of the Nebraska option. Next.

Penn State? They are quite possibly for real. As outstanding as Ohio State's and Wisconsin's defense has played, and as honorable-mention-to-be-generous as Penn State's D was against Northwestern, I still kind of like the Lions' defense as the best in the Big 10.

At last, Penn State has also learned how to score some points, even if Michael Robinson only tantalizes PSU fans to infuriate them later. Still, I'm not even writing this paragraph and no one is discussing Penn State outside of Happy Valley if they didn't convert an unlikely 4th-and-15 on their game-winning drive against Northwestern. I see the Lions knocking off Minnesota this week and then it all boils down to their October 8th hosting of Ohio State. Is it fair to say that the last five years, at least, of Nittany Lion football have led up to this game? And yet I can't say I really think they will get it done.

If any team is going to knock off the Buckeyes this year and win the Big 10, one must give the longest, hardest look to Michigan State. Finally, a multi-faceted offense. Finally, a Big 10 team with a quality win. The way they beat Notre Dame, with all the intangible magic of the Irish at home working against them after blowing a big lead. It was really something to behold, even if Michigan State has owned South Bend of late.

You've probably heard it by now, but it still drops the jaw: Michigan State is 9-1 against top 10 teams since 1997 — and 47-43 in all of their other games. Each victory, save one over those top-10 teams, was immediately followed by a loss. The Spartans, wanting to put that knock against them to bed, followed up their win at South Bend by raping Illinois. Tasteless verb to use, I realize, but then the way the Spartans were throwing on fourth down deep in Illini territory up 61-14 with under two minutes to go was even more tasteless. With apologies to Gregg Easterbrook, I hope the football gods noticed that one.

Another thing working against Michigan State is simply their schedule. They do host Michigan this week, but their remaining road schedule is at Ohio State, at Purdue, and at Minnesota. Northwestern, Indiana, and Penn State come to East Lansing.

So which of these supposed middle-of-the-pack teams will snatch the Big 10 title out from under the prognosticators' eyes? Or will one of the Big Four rebound and make us guys look like we were smart all along? Well, I'll tell you. Just hand me the darts.

Posted by Kevin Beane at 3:48 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

September 28, 2005

Bluebook Notes #4: Vols Rise From Dead

The 2005 Tennessee Volunteers saved their season with an inspiring 30-27 win in overtime against LSU on Monday. There had to be plenty of doubting Thomases in the hills of Tennessee when the Vols were down 21-0 at the half. LSU was efficiently moving the ball down the field while Erik Ainge couldn't get anything going on offense. The vultures were circling the field, and the crowd was roaring — all that was left was for Tennessee to succumb to the pressure.

Phillip Fulmer then made one of the best decisions in his tenure at Knoxville — he inserted Rick Clausen into the offense. Clausen, who transferred from LSU to Tennessee to get a shot to play, led an unbelievable second half revival. Even Lazarus would have been impressed (I've gotta stop watching the History Channel) as Tennessee resurrected themselves and started performing on offense. Once Gerald Riggs crossed the goal line in overtime, victory was won, and I know it was sweet.

And did anyone see Fullabull, I mean Louisville, get smashed by South Florida? The Cardinals were full of something, as I was shocked at how slow they looked on Saturday. I saw defensive backs getting beat and not being able to take the angle against the obviously quicker South Florida receivers. The Bulls certainly bullied their way to an amazingly effortless 45-14 win.

Louisville's season reminds of those mass e-mails that get passed around on the internet. Is Microsoft really tracking my activity and going to pay me to forward this message? Am I really going to get bit by some Brazilian spider in the airport bathroom? Is Louisville really going to win the national championship? The answer is a definitive "no" to all three. I have to admit, columnists including myself across the country ranted and raved about this team, and people began to buy in. I'm sorry, America, but as Malcolm X said, "you've been bamboozled, hoodwinked, snookered, and led astray."

The NasDAQ

The race for the Heisman Trophy fluctuates week by week. The HeisDAQ will let you know whose Heisman "stock" is rising and falling.

1) Matt Leinart, QB USC (strong buy) — Leinart certainly looked human in the first half of the game against Oregon. Unfortunately for Duck fans, the kryptonite wore off at halftime and Leinart returned to his superhuman status and dissected his way through the Oregon defense. Leinart will be tested again at ASU, but I expect him to pass with flying colors.

2) Reggie Bush, RB/KR/PR USC (strong buy) — Well, my friends, we now have a race for the Heisman. Bush clearly showed last Saturday why he is the best player in the country. He made fellow alum Marcus Allen proud with an unbelievable 20-yard touchdown run where he reversed his field, made about six guys miss as he scampered into the end zone. He should have another banner week against ASU, who has no one that can cover him. Then again, does anybody?

3) Vince Young, QB Texas (buy) — The gap between the top two contenders and the rest of the field is beginning to widen. Young will have to put up excellent numbers this week against Missouri in order to affirm his other-worldly performance against Ohio State a couple of weeks ago.

4) Chris Leak, QB Florida (buy) — This guy flat-out gets the job done. If anyone's noticed, Urban Meyer has customized his spread offense to fit Leak's talent of throwing the ball down the field. Leak certainly did that against an overmatched Kentucky team by throwing for over 300 yards and four touchdowns. He will face a much stiffer test against Alabama this week, and he might be able to move up a slot with a repeat performance.

5) Laurence Maroney, RB Minnesota (buy) — Okay ,Laurence, you are definitely for real. Maroney's 46-carry, 217-yard day against Purdue put him in my top five, and he is in serious Heisman contention. The road to the trophy will not get any easier as he will face a tough defense in Penn State, but this guy has shown that he is more than ready to leave his imprint on the national landscape.

6) Brady Quinn, QB Notre Dame (buy) — Quinn kept his Heisman hopes alive with a solid showing against Washington on Saturday. Quinn and the Irish flattened former coach Ty Willingham's hope of an upset against his former employer. Quinn has an excellent chance of putting up solid numbers when he faces in-state rival Purdue this week. In order for Quinn to have any hopes of winning the Heisman, the Irish can't lose another game (yes, that means beating USC).

7) Drew Stanton, QB Michigan State (speculative buy) — Stanton reminded me of another Michigan State alum, Magic Johnson, on Saturday. Stanton got everyone involved and threw a couple of no-look passes as he put up some gaudy numbers against an obviously overmatched Illini team. I don't think he'll throw for 5 touchdowns against Michigan, but any type of victory will enhance his Heisman hopes at this point.

8) Sam Keller, QB Arizona State (buy) — Sam Keller is probably the best quarterback in the country that no one's heard of. He has an opportunity this week to be known as the best quarterback in the country. Keller has put up superb numbers this season, and he will face the ultimate test this Saturday against USC. If the Sun Devils shock the world and win, he moves up at least to the top five.

9) Gerald Riggs, RB Tennessee (buy) — I thought I heard the Tennessee playing Eminem in Gerald's locker room as the real Mr. Riggs stood up against LSU on Monday. Riggs began running downhill in the second half and help to engineer the dramatic comeback I highlighted earlier. Riggs will begin to ascend the rankings with more performances like this, and Ole Miss provides a great opportunity to pad his stats.

10) Reggie McNeal, QB Texas A&M (speculative buy) — McNeal makes his second appearance to the HeisDAQ top 10 after throwing for 300 yards in two consecutive games. McNeal has the talent and the senior leadership to be ranked higher, but until now, we haven't see enough output to keep him in the HeisDAQ. Well, he's back and his team's schedule gets much harder from now till December, so he has numerous chances to climb the ladder.

Dropped Out: Drew Tate, Iowa; Maurice Drew, UCLA

Others to Watch: D.J. Shockley, Georgia; Brian Calhoun, Wisconsin

Games to Watch/Picks to Click

In this section of Bluebook Notes, I highlight three of the best potential games for the next week. I will also give my pick as to who will come out victorious.

Season Record: 5-4 ATS; Last Week: 2-1 ATS

USC @ Arizona State (+16)

Arizona State is a fun team to watch, and Sam Keller will put up good numbers, but they have no shot at beating USC this week. Kush Stadium in Tempe is certainly not an intimidating venue, and Southern Cal fans will probably make up a decent number of those in attendance. USC has covered every spread this season, and ASU does not have the personnel to cover the multi-faceted Trojan attack. On the flip side, Arizona State will move the ball, but just not consistently enough to win the game. USC has also dominated this rivalry in the recent past, and as they say, "the trend is your friend."

University of Serious Contenders 49, Sun Bedeviled 24

Florida @ Alabama (+3 ½)

This is one of those rare times that I'm even stumped. Florida has played very well, and their defense has been one of the best seen in Gainesville in recent memory. However, if we look at the teams that they have played, none of them really posed much threat on offense. Of course, with Alabama, there is the same quandary. They look great on D, but have they really faced anyone that would challenge them there. In situations like this, I tend to go with the team with the superior personnel. In this case, that would be Florida. I think the Gators win, but Alabama should definitely keep it close.

Meyer For President 24, Low Tide 17

Notre Dame (+3) @ Purdue

The assumption with this spread is that Purdue is as good as Michigan State who beat the Irish by 3. I can't buy off on that at this point in the season, and I think the Irish will pull off the upset as well. Purdue hasn't beaten Notre Dame three straight times in almost 40 years and I don't see it happening now. Purdue has been exposed on the ground and I think the Irish running attack will take advantage of that.

Leprechauns 27, Boilemissing 20

Bonus: Oregon @ Stanford (+7)

There are certain spreads that you look at and say "this is how I'm going to put the down payment on my new Mustang." Well, my friends, this is one of them. In case you haven't heard, Stanford's home-opener was ruined by none other than Division I-AA, UC-Davis. Yes, the Cardinal lost at home to a team full of "Rudies." Oregon will murder Stanford and the spread will be covered in the first quarter. Yes, I will be betting "the Ducks on the farm."

Lewis and Clark U 35, Division I-AA Reject 14

The Mailbag

The mailbag is the final section of Bluebook Notes. This week's comes from Tom in San Diego.

Assuming USC stays ranked #1, who do you think among Texas, VT, LSU, Florida, Florida State, Georgia and Ohio State will wind up in the next three or four spots????

And if LSU beats Tennessee decisively, should they pop back up to #3?

Tom, I happened to participate in an collegiate poll, and on Sunday, I voted USC, Texas, Virginia Tech, LSU [gulp], and Florida in my top five . Of course, now that LSU has lost to Tennessee, this will shake up the rankings for next week.

Also, rankings are kind of a quirky beast. I say this because even though I feel that Texas is the second best team, I don't think that they would be the stiffest opponent for USC. In fact, Ohio State, the team I have currently ranked seventh has, in my opinion, the best chance for beating USC this year.

Their corps of A.J. Hawk, Anthony Schlegel, and Bobby Carpenter have proven to be the best in the country, and I think these guys just might have a shot at slowing down the Trojan offense. Of course, they are on the outside looking in right now, but with some help, they could be right back in the mix.

Thanks for the e-mail, Tom, and I look forward to hearing from you again soon!

Do you think that I'm "off my rocker," or did I hit the proverbial "nail on the head?" Let me know! Send an e-mail to [email protected] and include your name and hometown. I'll do my best to include it in the next week's column.

Posted by Avery Smith at 6:42 PM | Comments (0)

The Young Quarterback Boom

When we think of men in leadership positions of pro football offenses, our minds turn to the leathery John Unitas, the sage Sonny Jurgensen, the battle-tested Terry Bradshaw, a post-military Roger Staubach, or Jim Plunkett, Doug Williams, and John Elway getting their rings after paying their dues. Bart Starr: Lombardi's pet vet. Y.A. Tittle, bald and wise, an eagle in the pocket. Fran Tarkenton, Len Dawson, Dan Marino, Jim Kelly, and Joe Montana, all effective late into their careers, and able to work well with various sets of often-younger receivers and backs. Kids held clipboards and learned from the sidelines and during film sessions.

Michael Vick, Peyton Manning, Donovan McNabb, and Daunte Culpepper have been considered stars and leaders since their third seasons. Regard Carson Palmer, 3-0 and counting in his third campaign. It is said today's defenses are more complex, savage, and quick than those that Tarkenton faced, yet Palmer, who did not take a snap as a rookie, has relegated Jon Kitna to fan status. Ben Roethlisberger was given the ball when Tommy Maddox became injured, and hasn't looked any more green or indecisive than Mark Brunell, Jay Fiedler, or Vinny Testaverde. Now we've got two Mannings in the mix (and may soon see another Vick). Have coaches changed?

First of all, not everyone is on board. Washington coach Joe Gibbs stands by Brunell when he errs, but not the younger Patrick Ramsey. But the game is won in the trenches — Washington should be 2-0 as the defense has only allowed 20 points. Last season, though, Brunell started for nine weeks, there were winnable games where the defense only gave up 17 to Cleveland, 17 to Cincy, 17 to the low-scoring Ravens, 17 to high-octane Philly when T.O. was still healthy, and 13 to Dallas, yet lost. Who knows what their record would have been had the senior QB been pulled?

Big Ben, D-Mac, and Carson Palmer are surrounded by talent, from their backfields to the other side of the ball. When they step back to throw (they are not likely to run much), they have several options in a Hines Ward/Antwaan Randle-El, Chad Johnson/T.J. Houshmandzadeh, Terrell Owens/Brian Westbrook kind of way. More importantly, they have the pass protection to look for these multiple receivers. When they do get clobbered, which is often a split second after the pass is delivered, each man is the size of an NFL tight end. They come back (see Leftwich and McNair).

Because of the way Tom Brady stepped in immediately for Drew Bledsoe, and Kurt Warner for Trent Green before that, the days of the irreplaceable vet QB are past. Strong, confident teams rally around The New Kid on the Block. Most of these young guns have been given a fair opportunity to prove themselves and even falter, and not been yanked back and forth like a yo-yo on a QB controversy string.

With weakness at the helm in cities such as Chicago, Cleveland, Buffalo, and Arizona, fresh arms will march to the attempted rescue. Injuries will force other changes. Age still more. As for on-the-field performance, there is nothing Michael Vick or Byron Leftwich can do at this point to get themselves benched. David Carr doesn't even get yanked. In some instances, the second-stringer is younger than the starter anyway. Other times, the alternative is Jeff Blake or Rodney Peete. We often make too much of a few poor offensive series. After all, the defense the signal-caller is facing is paid to win the game, too. How many running backs get benched when they're not playing up to par? Corey Dillon? Jamal Lewis? Ahman Green?

Learn and lead. Aaron Brooks, Culpepper, and Joey Harrington have their regretful weeks. But so do Jeff Garcia, Warner, Brett Favre, and Kerry Collins. Given time (and a supporting cast that includes TE Antonio Gates and RB LaDainian Tomlinson), Drew Brees came around. USC's Matt Leinart chose to stay in school (even with offensive guru Norm Chow gone), and he'll be that much sharper for it.

Good teams, and in particular, good defenses, cover a multitude of mistakes. How may Vince Lombardi Trophies do Dan Marino and Peyton Manning have, between them? Not all of the baby backers of the present or future will blossom. But in the two-platoon team game of ups and downs, nicks and limps that is professional football, youth is not always wasted on the young.

Posted by Bijan C. Bayne at 5:51 PM | Comments (0)

September 27, 2005

And the Award Goes to...

It's about that time of year again, when baseball pundits throughout the country experience that inflated sense of self-worth as their end-of-the-season MLB awards are published, broadcasted, or otherwise transmitted to the just-as-opinionated, far less abrasive, and much better educated (I'm thinking John Kruk here) masses.

That's not to say every so-called sports "expert" is a pompous (Jim Rome), patronizing (Joe Morgan), and pedantic (Steve Rushin) punk. There is the occasional Harold Reynolds, Vin Scully, or Bill Plaschke who slips through the cracks and actually improves the game he (and increasingly, she) makes a living covering.

And then there is myself. I'm all of those P-words and a few F-words, too (let's add frivolous, flagrant, and flatulent for good measure). So in homage to myself (the sultan of subjectivity, the admiral of audacity, the captain of conundrum), here are the winners of the 2005 NL awards for MVP and Cy Young with less than two weeks remaining in the regular season:

NL MVP

Winner: Albert Pujols, Cardinals

The guy is an absolute stud. With all due respect to Alex Rodriquez of the Yankees, Pujols is the best right-handed hitter in the game. His numbers so far this year (39 home runs, 110 RBIs, 123 runs scored, and a .333 batting average) are downright gaudy, except for the fact that he has posted similar numbers in each of the past five seasons.

Pujols, a lifetime .333 hitter, has at least 34 home runs, 110 RBIs, and 112 runs scored in his first five big-league seasons. His lifetime slugging percentage of .621 isn't that bad, either, considering the career slugging percentage of Giants slugger Barry Bonds (who is, like, pretty darn good) is .611. Barring a blistering surge from Derrek Lee of the Cubs in the final two weeks of the season, Pujols is my pick to win the award.

Runner-up: Derrek Lee, Cubs

Question: how do you post numbers like these (45 home runs, 105 RBIs, 118 runs scored, and a .340 batting average) and not win an MVP award? Answer: play in the same league as Albert Pujols. It also does not help when you play for the lowly Chicago Cubs, whose 77-79 record has been one of the major disappointments in the MLB this year. Lee was transformed from a solid everyday first baseman to a hitting machine seemingly overnight.

He is a lifetime .276 hitter whose 32 home runs in 2004 were the most he has hit before this season. His outlandish slugging percentage of .671 this year gives him an outside chance to overtake Pujols in the voting, but Pujols gets the nod because he is the best hitter on the team with the best record (96-60) in the MLB. Lee would win an MVP this year over David Ortiz of the Red Sox if he played in the AL. I give Lee the award over Pujols if he surpasses the Cardinals' slugger in RBIs by season's end.

Honorable mention: Andruw Jones, Braves

He leads the NL in homers (51) and RBIs (128) for an amazingly resilient Atlanta Braves team, but his .265 batting average does not exactly scream MVP. Jones, a lifetime .267 hitter, has obviously been sacrificing consistency for power this season, but it has still been a remarkable year for the perennial gold-glover.

Miguel Cabrera of the Marlins deserves mention in this space as well. In his second full-season in the majors, Cabrera's 32 home runs, 111 RBIs, and .322 batting average is a harbinger of great things to come. Cabrera, not Jones, wins an MVP within the next five years.

NL Cy Young

Winner: Roger Clemens, Astros

My senses tell me that Clemens will not win his MLB-record eighth Cy Young this season because his 12 wins (the most overrated statistic in baseball) are nowhere near the victory totals of other Cy Young hopefuls, but I give Clemens the nod for his paltry ERA of 1.89. In this era of the long ball, Clemens' season has finally convinced me he is the best pitcher of all-time — a huge statement, yes, and I would not have said this two years ago, but the 43-year-old's longevity cannot be matched. In fact, Clemens' ERA was hovering around the 1.50 mark for much of the season until injury and the death of his mother slowed him in recent weeks.

Keep in mind that Clemens pitches half of his games in the launching pad otherwise known as Minute Maid Park (Astro Craig Biggio has gone yard a career-high 24 times this year due, in large part, to the short porch in left), which makes this season that much more astounding. If Clemens — a 3.12 lifetime ERA — stays around the 1.80-range by the end of the season, it would surpass his personal-best of 1.93 he set with the Red Sox in 1990. It would be a complete shame if, and when, Clemens is overlooked by sportswriters for the Cy Young this year. In my own humble opinion, Clemens is a lock.

Runner up: Chris Carpenter, Cardinals

Good pitcher. Great season. After six relatively inconspicuous seasons with the Blue Jays, Carpenter began to emerge last year with the Cardinals when he finished with 15 wins and a 3.46 ERA. This season has been by far Carpenter's best. Carpenter has won 21 games thus far to go along with a more-than-impressive 2.71 ERA and 207 strikeouts (all personal bests). The problem with giving Carpenter the award is that the win/loss statistic, his selling point, is not all it is cracked up to be. Case and point being a starting pitcher cannot control how the other eight players in the lineup hit during any given start. In that case, a starting pitcher's win/loss record is as much an indication of factors beyond his control as it is his own performance.

Whereas the Cardinals have given Carpenter well over five runs of support per start (remember that Albert Pujols guy?), Clemens' run support is hovering right around four. Carpenter gives up almost an extra run per game than does Clemens, which makes him far less valuable to the Cardinals than Clemens is to the Astros. Granted, Carpenter's ERA is impressive in its own right, and he has 27 more strikeouts than Clemens, but Clemens' ERA makes him the better pitcher. The real test for both pitchers may come in October, when the Cardinals and Astros could likely meet in the first game of the NLCS, and when Clemens should out pitch Carpenter as he has all season. Either Carpenter or Dontrelle Willis of the Marlins will win the 2005 Cy Young, but Clemens deserves it.

Honorable mention: Dontrelle Willis, Marlins

What a great story this year, and what a great kid. How is it possible to root against Dontrelle Willis? He is one of the most personable athletes in baseball, along with all of sports. He has that unconventional pitching style that makes his starts entertaining even to the most casual of fan. And, oh yeah, the dude can flat-out pitch. After a somewhat disappointing sophomore season with the Marlins in which he posted career lows of 139 strikeouts, 10 wins, and a 4.01 ERA, Willis has been hitting his spots again this year en route to career bests of 155 strikeouts, 22 wins, and a 2.44 ERA.

I had a hard time picking Carpenter over Willis, but their ERA's are very similar and Carpenter is much more of a strikeout threat than is Willis. Willis has one more victory than Carpenter on the year, but, as I have mentioned before, that is essentially meaningless from an individual standpoint. Willis could likely get the nod because he has pitched better than Carpenter of late and many past voters have demonstrated serious short-term memories. Still, Clemens is better than both Willis and Carpenter, so it should be a relatively moot point.

Also deserving mention is Pedro Martinez of the Mets, who is actually a quite remarkable pitcher when he is not giving Yankee fans around the world fodder for "Who's your daddy?" chants. As he seemingly does every year, Martinez has posted a 2.82 ERA and 208 strikeouts this season. Without Clemens in the mix, Martinez' 2.72 lifetime ERA gives the first-ballot Hall of Famer the most impressive career stats of any active pitcher, even ahead of Randy Johnson of the Yankees and Greg Maddux of the Cubs.

With that said, here are the best players, by position, in the first base-heavy National League:

First Base: Albert Pujols, Cardinals
Second Base: Jeff Kent, Dodgers
Shortstop: Felipe Lopez, Reds
Third Base: Aramis Ramirez, Cubs
Outfield: Miguel Cabrera, Marlins
Outfield: Andruw Jones, Braves
Outfield: Jason Bay, Pirates
Catcher: Paul Lo Duca, Marlins
Starting Pitcher: Roger Clemens, Astros
Reliever: Brad Lidge, Astros

Posted by Kevin Connelly at 5:49 PM | Comments (6)

NFL Week 3 Power Rankings

Five Quick Hits

* There are 32 teams in the NFL. So far this season, there are 13 I have yet to see, but I've seen the Raiders and Eagles three times each.

* I don't live within 100 miles of Oakland or Philadelphia. Note to television producers: I don't care about Randy Moss or Terrell Owens nearly as much as you seem to think.

* You know what's great? No one refers to Tampa's rookie RB as Carnell "Cadillac" Williams. They just call him Cadillac. That's old-school.

* Fans in Denver and San Diego booed Eddie Kennison and Eli Manning, respectively, every time they touched the ball. It didn't seem to affect either player, but that's exactly what the fans should be doing. Kennison and Little Manning disrespected their teams.

* Maybe it's premature for this, but Darren Sproles reminds me of Tiki Barber in 1999, or Buddy Young in 1950.

***

Week 3 was big for fantasy football players and for injuries. David Akers probably got the most attention, but Rodney Harrison, Chad Pennington, and Takeo Spikes are just three of the other major injuries from the NFL's third week of action. Speaking of bad news, Sean Salisbury still covers the league. I'd like to take issue with some of his comments from Monday night, but first ... Chris Berman.

According to Boomer (I think he tries to eat you if you don't call him "Boom" these days), Akers' hamstring was "literally killing him" on Sunday. It's the first life-threatening hamstring injury I've ever heard of. Similarly, Cadillac Williams came "literally right out of the showroom." I don't have a clever joke about that one, but it's still not true. And even though Berman said it on both NFL Primetime and Fastest Three Minutes, Marc Bulger's touchdown pass "between" two defenders was actually between one defender and the sideline. Sports fans probably say "I used to like him" about Berman more than any other broadcaster except maybe John Madden.

On the bright side, ESPN's normally putrid Sunday night team did a really nice job with the Giants/Chargers game, especially the first half.

Moving on to the power rankings, brackets show last week's rank.

1. Indianapolis Colts [2] — I'm concerned about the offense. I haven't seen the Colts' last two games, but it seems like everyone is playing the same defense — six, seven, eight defensive backs — against them. And it's working. It's not that the players all got worse in the offseason — Peyton Manning completed 83% of his passes this week, but they were all for short yardage. If the Colts can't start beating that coverage, they don't deserve this spot.

2. New England Patriots [3] — It's ludicrous to raise them a spot after they lose Harrison for the season, but after a win at Pittsburgh, what choice do I have? Their lack of success running the ball is cause for concern. Beginning my Salisbury notes, on Monday night, he called Adam Vinatieri a first-ballot Hall of Famer. I think Vinatieri probably will make the Hall, but only four "new" players can make it per year, and I don't think Vinatieri is going in on the first ballot.

3. Pittsburgh Steelers [1] — Is there anything more annoying than losing a game 51 seconds after it ended? A clock error gave New England time for a game-winning drive, and while the Steelers will probably say that they should have stopped the Pats anyway, that's a rough way to lose a game that might mean home field advantage a few months from now.

4. Cincinnati Bengals [8] — The Bengals aren't ranked here because they mopped the floor with the Browns, Vikings, and Bears. Starting cornerbacks Deltha O'Neal and Tory James have a combined six interceptions, tying the total of the next-highest teams in the league (Bears and Bucs). When your corners are that dangerous, you can hold a lead, and with Carson Palmer throwing to Chad Johnson, you'll probably have a lead to defend.

5. Atlanta Falcons [7] — I'm not convinced of Atlanta's consistency, but I love their pass defense. The run defense has been toasted in consecutive weeks, by Shaun Alexander (144 yards, 5.1 average, TD) and Willis McGahee (140 yards, 5.2 average, TD). They were okay the week before because the Eagles never rush, and they'll beat Minnesota for the same reason.

6. Philadelphia Eagles [4] — Donovan McNabb finished Sunday's game with decent numbers because he passed 52 times, but he clearly didn't look 100% against Oakland, and it's obvious that injuries are affecting his play.

7. Tampa Bay Buccaneers [9] — Cadillac Williams is a sensational talent, and I enjoy watching him play, but he's not going to have a very long career if he keeps getting so many touches. On the first drive of Sunday's game, Williams had eight carries and got hit on an incomplete pass thrown his way. He finished the game with 37 rushes, bringing his season total to 88. That puts him on pace for 469.

The record is 410, by Jamal Anderson in 1998. Anderson was injured in the second game of the next season and out of football three years later. Since 1990, the only other players with more than 375 are Terrell Davis, Barry Foster, Edgerrin James, Jamal Lewis, Eddie George, Emmitt Smith, and Ricky Williams twice. Davis, Foster, James, and Lewis all suffered significant injuries the next season, missing a total of 45 games. George followed with his worst season as a pro, with under 1,000 yards and a 3.0 average — he's never been the same. Even Smith had a down season the next year, with his lowest average in 12 years in Dallas. Ricky Williams had a bad season after the first time, and retired after the second. Michael Pittman is a serviceable back, and he should be getting more carries to help keep Cadillac healthy.

8. Jacksonville Jaguars [10] — Donovin Darius was actually injured in Week 2, but that's one more big defensive name that's done for the year. I'd like to see more offense from a team ranked this high, but their overtime win over the Jets wasn't as close as it appeared.

9. Seattle Seahawks [15] — Outscored the Cardinals 27-3 in the second half after going into the locker room up by one. Have we finally found a worse second-half team than the Seahawks?

10. Buffalo Bills [11] — Former Bills coach Gregg Williams now works in Washington, and J.P. Losman is doing his best "Mark Brunell in 2004" impression. Takeo Spikes is out for the season, and the offense has to start producing.

11. Denver Broncos [20] — Champ Bailey, whom last year I called the most overrated player in the NFL, was having a nice game before his injury. The Broncos aren't really as good as they looked on MNF, but Trevor Pryce had a monster game.

12. Baltimore Ravens [13] — Salisbury says that Brooks Bollinger should wear a suit of armor next week, because "Ray Lewis is mad". Lewis only averages two sacks a season, so if I were Bollinger, I'd be more concerned about Terrell Suggs, who averages 11.

13. Carolina Panthers [6] — The defense clearly is not what we expected, and I think the offense is nicely summed up by a quick note I jotted down on Sunday:

S.Davis = poo

That's a shorthand way of saying that Carolina can't run the ball and isn't creating turnovers on defense.

14. San Diego Chargers [19] — Early in the third quarter, Luis Castillo was called for roughing the passer, nullifying an interception. In Week 2, a roughing penalty on Castillo wiped out a sack that would have given Dallas 4th-and-20 on its own 10. Instead, it was 1st-and-10 on the 25. The Cowboys drove for a touchdown and won by four. This week's call was a little nitpicky, but those are game-changing plays, and Castillo needs to keep his head in the game.

15. Kansas City Chiefs [5] — It's hard to overstate how much they miss Willie Roaf. Salisbury says that Kansas City's is "obviously" one of the top three offenses in the NFL. Right now, they're ninth in yards and tied for 13th in points, and I don't expect them to finish in the top three of either category. Stats aside, I think it was pretty obvious to anyone who watched KC against Oakland or Denver that this is not one of the top three offenses in the league anymore.

16. Detroit Lions [16] — Used the bye week to move into sole possession of first place in the NFC North.

17. Minnesota Vikings [22] — Michael Bennett is a fantastic athlete, but Mewelde Moore is pretty clearly the best running back on the team. Injuries to some of the team's offseason defensive acquisitions have put the burden back on the offense.

18. New York Giants [14] — Little Manning had the best game of his career and they lost by 22.

19. Washington Redskins [17] — If they're going to win games, they'll have to score eventually, and that post pattern to Santana Moss won't work again all season. Washington's defense looks exceptional so far, maybe the best in the league.

20. Dallas Cowboys [18] — The last time Drew Bledsoe threw this many passes for Bill Parcells, they went to the Super Bowl. The comeback against San Francisco was kind of impressive, but it's canceled out by the shame of having to come back against San Francisco.

21. Miami Dolphins [25] — Gus Frerotte went 14-for-33 and averaged 5 yards per attempt on Sunday, but it may be time to start giving offensive coordinator Scott Linehan some serious credit. Miami's offense isn't going to make anyone forget last year's Colts, but it's quickly erasing memories of last year's Dolphins. Miami should probably be ranked higher than this, so it's not out of the question that they could rise two or three spots during their bye week.

22. New York Jets [12] — Brooks Bollinger is starting at Baltimore on Sunday. I don't think Kurt Warner and Tom Brady have to worry about their legends.

23. St. Louis Rams [24] — It was nice to see Marshall Faulk back on the field and producing, but this team's real producer is Torry "Big Game" Holt, who lived up to that billing with 163 receiving yards against Tennessee. The Rams' schedule is awfully soft, and they could push Seattle for the NFC West title.

24. Oakland Raiders [23] — For years, I've been complaining about the Walsh Offense and the gnat attack: short passes for short gains, with no risks downfield. Now Norv Turner has Kerry Collins running an Al Davis downfield passing offense, and I think it's ugly and artless.

25. Cleveland Browns [27] — They've lost to two top-five teams and won at Lambeau Field. That last part doesn't mean as much as it used to, but it looks like the Browns can play with anyone.

26. Tennessee Titans [26] — Kyle Vanden Bosch actually leads the NFL in sacks, but the defense is miserable. Expect the Colts to show some life this week when Peyton Manning has the ball.

27. New Orleans Saints [21] — This weekend will be their second "home" game, in the fourth stadium they've used this season, only 542 miles from the Superdome. Aaron Brooks looks lost on the field.

28. Chicago Bears [28] — The Kyle Orton buzz didn't last long. Even Ryan Leaf never threw five interceptions in one game.

29. Green Bay Packers [29] — I'm not sure which member of referee Ron Winter's crew hit Al Harris in the face with a flag, but I thought it was pretty well-established, after Jeff Triplette blinded Orlando Brown, that you weren't supposed to do that.

30. San Francisco 49ers [32] — After leading 21-6 and 31-19, they managed to blow the lead in the fourth quarter. On the bright side, Brandon Lloyd is emerging as a receiver, and Kevan Barlow and Frank Gore combined for 107 yards on just 19 carries against Dallas.

31. Houston Texans [31] — If this team doesn't get better quickly, there are going to be some major shake-ups within the organization at the end of this year. That could include changes at head coach and quarterback.

32. Arizona Cardinals [30] — They have a home game in Mexico City, followed by a home game at Sun Devil Stadium, then a bye, then another home game in Arizona. After that, it's four at home and seven on the road. That's rough even for good teams.

Posted by Brad Oremland at 5:37 PM | Comments (7)

The Madden Challenge Update

In case you forgot, I have entered the 2005 EA Sports Madden Challenge. It is officially less than a month until my regional and I have finally started my training. I have taken the next step in becoming the greatest champion that the Madden world has seen and I am on my way to not only winning the tournament, but also the hearts of America.

I went to a Buffalo Wild Wings on Sunday and watched an entire slate of NFL games. Clad in my Chad Johnson Bengals jersey, I was doing more than just partaking in an American pastime, I was scouting. I still don't have a team for the tournament yet, so I decided the best way to help narrow it down would be to find out who not to pick.

For instance, I'm not going to pick the Chicago Bears. I'm not neglecting the Bears to get under the skin of Dan Griffin (my ESPN Radio 970 co-host) or because I dislike the city of Chicago. I am not picking the Bears because after an afternoon of watching football, I found myself cheering the second Kyle Orton dropped back to pass, knowing that it wouldn't be completed and it probably was going to be picked.

Certainly, the argument could be made that I wouldn't have Orton has my quarterback, but let's face it — the Bears won't be heading to the Super Bowl. I also learned not to take the Bengals, mainly because their run defense is still atrocious. This game is based on last season for the most part, so while the Bengals may be heading to the Super Bowl, they still won't be strong enough in Madden '06 to win a regional. (Who dey! Okay, let's be real, most Cincy fans are overreacting, but cut them some slack, we've gone through a lot of losing. Right now, I'm just hoping for 10 wins.)

Okay, when it comes down to it, I really just watched an afternoon of football. If I really wanted to scout teams I should've watched tape from last year and anything else is my rationalization for watching an afternoon of football. Also, I have yet to actually play Madden '06, let alone play it for Xbox. The thing I have realized, however, is that I'm not going to win this tournament by focusing on things I'm not doing, that's a recipe for failure. I'm going to win by focusing on the positives, so I have to create them if they aren't readily apparent to me.

The one thing I have realized in the month since I have announced my entrance into the tournament is that I have to win this. Every success story, every single one of them, is filled with the protagonist working his butt off to accomplish his goal. The morale of the story is always the same: "If you want something bad enough and work hard enough, you can have it."

That's fine and all, but for once, I want to change that motto to, "If you want something, you can have it." Forget that whole working hard phase and forget wanting it so bad that it's all you think about. I need to win this just so every man can learn to believe that sometimes the cards just work out in your favor, and that sometimes, you can get what you want without breaking your back or the bank to get it. And you know what? Sometimes, we should get to do the touchdown dance without the 78-yard-run that precedes it. I have to win this, not to get me to believe, but so that you can believe.

I did have a few other random thoughts on the Madden Challenge:

1) It seems like every single winner so far has been younger than 17. I don't really know how this fares for me, but I think it's to my advantage that my mom doesn't have to drive me to the event.

2) It always scares me when two regional winners are in the same family. How can there be dominant families of video games? Do they just sit around playing Madden at family gatherings? Do they discuss strategies and playing styles?

3) I do realize one thing: I can't do this alone. I plan on assembling the best coaching staff that the Madden Challenge world has seen. I know that no one can coach me during the actual event, but it will be a big benefit to the development stages and the training between my regional and the finals. I haven't played the game yet, so the coaching will help, especially with game planning. A good staff is the key to success and the key to knocking off the 14-year-old with too much time on his hands. Of course, I will be the one that takes all the credit when I send that kid home crying.

The Sports Gospel According to Mark is sponsored by BetOnSports.com. BetOnSports.com gives you the greatest sports action to bet on. Wager on football, cricket, boxing, Rugby, horse racing, and more. Mark Chalifoux is also a weekly columnist for SportsFan Magazine. His columns appear every Tuesday on Sports Central. You can e-mail Mark at [email protected].

Posted by Mark Chalifoux at 5:06 PM | Comments (0)

September 26, 2005

Baseball's Big Embarrassment

Based on some of the most recent news in Major League Baseball, I thought I'd rant about a few things that are making me mad in the sport. These are issues that mostly revolve around the steroids debacle that have been irking me for quite some time and I feel I must get them off my chest.

1) Where's the Tougher Steroid Policy?

The brass of baseball — i.e. the commissioner, the owner's union, and the players union, have still not agreed on a tougher steroid policy.

We're seeing this season that players are still using steroids. Nine players have been caught using steroids, including Rafael Palmeiro of the Orioles and Juan Rincon of the Twins. Yet for this form of cheating, the commissioner's office hands down a pathetic 10-day suspension.

And if Congress hadn't made a mockery of the original policy, it would have included a clause that would keep the guilty player's name out of the public eye, along with another clause that would have allowed a guilty player to pay a $10,000 fine to get out of the suspension. Is that the best these guys can do? Bud Selig has said he's lobbied for tougher punishments, but he has had no luck going against the player's union. What's new?

Don't the fans deserve more from baseball and its superstars than cover-ups and shoddy information regarding issues that put into jeopardy the integrity of the sport?

Baseball should adopt the Olympic form of testing for performance enhancing drugs. In the World Anti-Doping Agency's regulations, the first offense is a two-year ban, and any positive test there after is an automatic lifetime ban.

The World Anti-Doping Agency also tests for other performance enhancing drugs outside of steroids that baseball doesn't test for. The W.A.D.A. tests for amphetamines, masking agents, and cocktails (groups of four and five drugs that enhance performance). Baseball doesn't test for these performance enhancers and yet they say they are ridding the sport of these drugs.

It may not matter what baseball wants to install for its drug-testing policy. Congress may end up deciding that fate for them in the long-run. Several high ranking government officials in Washington are tiring of the on going saga in Major League Baseball and are looking for decisive and quick action regarding steroids. John McCain, Joe Biden, and several other Congressmen and Senators are fired up about the issue and are intent on having the Olympic model of steroid-testing become the norm throughout all major professional sports: the NFL, NHL, MLB, and NBA.

The W.A.D.A. plan sounds fair to me, it should be what every major sports organization strives for. To me, steroids are just as big a form of cheating as betting on your own team. It's gaining an unfair edge over a competitor by using something illegal. Current and past users of these drugs have brought into question baseball's most crucial aspect: its numbers and traditions.

Sixty-one will never have the same significance because of the false achievements of Barry Bonds, Sammy Sosa, and Mark McGwire. The home run race of '98 and Bonds' assault of 70 in '01 are nothing more than mirages and false illusions to me now in light of recent revelations. All of these records that should have been a crucial part of the next chapter in baseball history will now forever be linked with the "steroid era" and will always be viewed with an asterisk.

For the game of baseball to be America's sport again, it must be cleaned up and vindicated of all the drug accusations. The playing field must be leveled for all athletes and innocent athletes should not have a black cloud of suspicion and doubt surrounding them.

2) Rafael Palmeiro Should Be Banned

Not only should he never play baseball again, Palmeiro should be probed for lying to Congress. If a normal citizen of this country would have been caught red-handed lying to Congress, they'd be in prison so fast they wouldn't know what happened to them. Palmeiro should receive no leniencies because of his celebrity status, especially because of his finger-pointing self-righteous attitude during the Capitol Hill showdown.

A recent news story really exemplified Palmeiro's true colors. Raffy, always the consummate teammate and professional, came just short of blaming Baltimore star shortstop and former AL MVP Miguel Tejada for his positive steroid test. Palmeiro claimed that he believed his steroid test came out positive because of a legal B-12 injection that he received from Tejada. Tejada was recently cleared of any wrongdoing by a MLB review board. And, of course, this makes Raffy look even worse. Raffy is on his last breath and it looks like he's trying to take Baltimore's best player down with him. I've got news for Mr. Palmeiro, he'd better keep those ear plugs he wore in Toronto in for quite some time because he's not going to hear the end of this one.

3) Sammy Sosa Can Speak English

Sammy has been living in this country since he broke into the major leagues in 1989. In 16 years, he's had to have learned English. In fact, I know he's learned English because I've seen him in those ads for tourism in the Dominican Republic and Pepsi. So why when he was called up to Capitol Hill did Slammin' Sammy become a mute? Why did Sammy seem like he had just stepped off of the boat? Why did his attorney read a written statement for his client?

Maybe it's the same reason that Sammy corked his bat when he was in a funk. Maybe it's the same reason that he refused to take the drug test Rick Reilly offered to him to be the first to prove he'd never done steroids. Sammy seems scared of being discovered. The results are rather obvious, anyone can draw their own conclusions as to what has happened to the deflated Sosa just by his production.

The last two years he's spent significant time on the DL, and his power numbers have decreased significantly, along with the size of his arms. Sammy's .221 batting average and 15 homers this season speak for themselves. The Orioles can only sit and scratch their head and wonder why they traded Jerry Hairston, Jr. to pick him up.

4) Stop Cheering For Barry Bonds and Jason Giambi

Both of these men should be outcasts. For one of the first times in my life, I can agree with Jim Rome. Rome said on his show a few weeks ago when Bonds first came back and went hitless in his first home game, "What is it going to take for fans in San Francisco to boo Bonds? Does he have to shoot up on the field in front of all 40,000 of you?"

He's exactly right. Bonds admitted to unknowingly using steroids, which is a crazy argument for anyone to believe. Bonds takes care of his body like it was his own personal temple, and he knows everything that he puts into it down to the amount of calories in a Coke. So how does he not know that he's putting a steroid into his system? According to documents obtained by the San Francisco Chronicle involving the BALCO scandal, Bonds was given the designer steroid THG, testosterone, growth hormones, insulin, the stimulant modafinil, and Clomid, a female fertility drug. How do you not know your putting all of that into your body?

Giambi admitted to the grand jury that he used steroids throughout his career. That is the only thing I can commend Giambi for — at least he came clean. However, that was only after he had adamantly denied that he had used steroids in several interviews. In an interview with ESPN, Giambi repeatedly denied steroid use in his MVP season, stating he just worked harder than everyone else. He still hasn't admitted on camera that he used steroids, but he did tell his fans and the media that he was sorry for whatever he did that everybody seems to be so mad at him about.

These two individuals and everyone else that has used steroids should be punished not praised. The public needs to stop making excuses for these deviants and start accepting them for what they are: cheaters. Pete Rose was banned for life for cheating these people should at least be booed every time they step in the on-deck circle.

And another thing about Barry. Barry shouldn't be telling Congress what they should and shouldn't be investigating. I agree that there are more important things that Congress should be worrying about, but I don't like Barry's super ego using the Katrina disaster to deflect heat from his situation. No matter what Bonds says, he will never escape the questions and suspicions of his "accidental" steroid use.

If Jason Giambi wins "Comeback Player of the Year," they should end the award all together. I can think of nothing worse than awarding a guy that shouldn't have even played this season an award such as that. I think Brian Roberts should get the award. His breakout year should be much more celebrated than someone that has disgraced the game in the way that Giambi has.

5. Hey, Mark, Crying Doesn't Make Things Any Better

McGwire's, "I'm not here to talk about the past," didn't really do much for his credibility. Not even the emotion that was stirred up in him after hearing of the deaths of the two young high school baseball players could salvage his reputation after the Capital Hill hearings. McGwire's choice to remain silent only solidified his guilt in my eyes. If he was truly innocent, he would have come out and said it. But he backed away and admitted defeat in my eyes.

The hearings in August really hit me especially hard because I was such a huge McGwire supporter when he was with the Cardinals. The 1998 home run chase was one of the most exciting baseball summers in my lifetime. The McGwire/Sosa home run race saved baseball from the depths of despair following the strike. I think that is why baseball has never revived itself from that last strike. Baseball's saving grace turned out to be a farce.

The point of all of these ramblings is that I want baseball to reclaim the position it had once had as America's pastime. Baseball is purely an American creating that we should all be proud of. But if those in charge of the sport don't change what is happening to their game in an appropriate manner, they will lose their fan base permanently.

Posted by Chris Cornell at 3:50 PM | Comments (7)

I Hate Mondays: The Clash

Sponsored by CyberSportsbook.com

If Brett Favre stays, there will be trouble, but if he goes, there will be double.

So should he stay or should he go?

The Packers are 0-3 and their prospects seem to be fading as quickly as their injury list is growing.

Something tells me this is not what Favre envisioned returning to when he contemplated retirement in the offseason.

Is the problem, Brett? Have his quarterbacking skills deteriorated? Should he have retired?

No, no, and ... maybe.

The third answer is not simple.

Brett's skills have declined a little bit, but not significantly. With the right team around him, he could still be a championship quarterback. We've seen many great quarterbacks perform at a high level in the waning years of their careers as long as they are in the proper environment to succeed.

But number four for the Packers is lacking exactly that.

Poor drafting has left the defense bare and lacking playmakers. In three games, they have allowed 60 points, amassed three sacks, and forced only one takeaway. And that is against three offenses that finished ranked 23rd, 24th, and 28th in scoring last season.

Clearly, that puts the onus on the offense.

Head coach Mike Sherman and offensive coordinator Tom Rossley had planned on emphasizing the running game while lowering the number of pass attempts for Favre. But after losing two Pro Bowl guards, Marco Rivera and Mike Wahle, off the offensive line, the running lanes have been clogged and running back Ahman Green has not been able to navigate through the traffic. Three games into the season, he is averaging 3.6 yards per carry. His career average over his eight NFL seasons is 4.7 yards per carry.

So the rushing attack is broken and the defense is beyond repair, which means that the whole Packers world falls on Brett Favre's shoulders.

Remember that idea of lessening his workload? Well, he is averaging 37.3 passing attempts per game and is on pace to set a new personal career-high in that category.

That didn't happen to John Elway. In the last three years of his career, the Denver Broncos leaned heavily on running back Terrell Davis — more than ever before. Never mind the eight defensive players that the Broncos sent to the Pro Bowl during that span.

The point is that Favre has very little support and he is not in a setting that is conducive for success.

If he were to play quarterback for the Chicago Bears or the New York Jets, they would instantly be serious contenders, but he is playing for nothing in Green Bay.

The situation is bleak and there is no visible light at the end of the tunnel.

The Packers are at least a year or two away from fully replenishing their roster with talent, but Favre's window of opportunity could be closed by then. By that time, his skills might truly deteriorate.

So should he retire?

When the season ends, he should.

Sure, he wants to go out on top, but so does everyone. Every competitor wants their career to climax in their final appearance, but only a rare few can actually time it right.

In the short-term, he is making the Packers a better team, but they will not be competing for a Super Bowl any time soon, so why stick around through the rebuilding process?

This is still riding a white horse off into the sunset, just in a different type of style.

Brett Favre and retirement mix like Mondays and me.

"You are a victim of the rules you live by." — Jenny Holzer

Don't miss next week's installment of "I Hate Mondays," sponsored by CyberSportsbook.com, a great sportsbook for horse racing and casino action!

Posted by Dave Golokhov at 3:27 PM | Comments (0)

September 24, 2005

The Teachings of Jeremy Shockey

Dave Zirin, whose columns have appeared on Sports Central and SportsFan Magazine and who is one hell of a good sportswriter, recently had a book published called "What's My Name, Fool! Sports and Resistance in the United States."

It chronicles and analyzes athletes that refuse to push their personal beliefs and politics into the background for the sake of achieving the homogeneity that's mandatory in today's corporately-enslaved sports world. We're talking Muhammad Ali; John Carlos, giving the black power salute; and Toni Smith, the women's basketball player who turned her back on the American flag as an anti-war protest.

These aren't athletes who speak out of turn in order to sell a few more jerseys with their names on the back, or to get some extra face time on that evening's SportsCenter. These are strong-willed activists who want to use whatever celebrity is bestowed upon them because of their athletic prowess as a way to enlighten, educate, and liberate the masses.

These radical visionaries don't come around very often nowadays. When there is someone willing to let his or her extraordinary voice be heard, we better damn well listen.

And that's why it's time to pay attention to a modern day sports prophet: New York Giants tight end Jeremy Shockey.

Okay, so he's not the sharpest spike on the cleat. He's just this big lunkhead from some place called Ada, Oklahoma, which, I'm guessing, has a Dairy Queen that gets mighty busy every Saturday night.

You don't need to be cerebral to play tight end. They're not throwing the ball. They're hardly running any passing routes that would require much memorization. Block in the trenches, plow through guys, or drag them behind you into the end zone — this isn't exactly Ken Jennings territory, people.

But he is a visionary, someone trying to lead us all down the right path in life. And he's accomplishing this with a radical message:

"Don't do as I say, and don't do as I do."

Remember when The Prophet Jeremy first edified the populace with his missive on homosexuality? It was Sept. 10, 2002, and Shockey was making an appearance on The Howard Stern Show. He was asked if there were many gay players in the NFL. "I don't know, I don't like to think about that. I hope not," he answered. "I mean, if I knew there was a gay guy on my college football team, I probably wouldn't, you know, stand for it."

Stand for it? "You know, I think, you know, they're going to be in the shower with us and stuff, so I don't think that's gonna work. That's not gonna work, you know?" said Shockey, who was 22-years-old at the time.

He was quickly blasted for his views by the media, and the Giants distanced themselves from them, as well. But Shockey's point wasn't lost on me: even in a setting where intolerance provides the fuel for satire, bigotry should never find a safe haven. "The show is at 7:30 in the morning and it's just to entertain people that just wake up," said Shockey in an interview after the incident. "I definitely wouldn't say anything like that on a more serious show, like 20/20. So I guess you could say it was a mistake on my part and I'm not prejudiced against anybody's beliefs."

Remember that next time you think you're making a "safe joke" on the golf course.

Fast forward to this football season, and The Prophet Jeremy has once again alerted the slumbering masses to another social injustice — one that affects millions of Americans every single day:

Express Checkout Line Abuse.

Shockey has been tapped by Swanson frozen foods as one of several NFL spokesmen for a Hungry-Man dinner ad campaign. In his commercial, Jeremy clogs up the Express Lane in a supermarket checkout with a mountain of frozen dinners. The other customers complain, and Shockey responds by claiming that, since they're all Hungry-Man meals, it is in fact just "one item."

That sound you hear is me, standing on my chair, applauding Jeremy Shockey. Applauding his bravery. Applauding his compassion. Applauding his decision to finally — through his own ironic comedic example, playing the fool to smarten us all up — show these supermarket S.O.B.'s that 10 items or less means 10 items or less!

The world is divided into two types of people. Think about the old kindergarten math scenario: "Johnny has two apples. Jane has two oranges." Half of us would look at that and say, "Together, they have four items." The rest of us look at that and say, "Together, they have fruit. One fruit."

I just had a Shockey-like situation the other day. I ran into the local snobby organic market to pick up a container of Parmesan cheese — one item. I hopped on the 10-items-or-less line. In front of me was this guy who proceeded to place no less than 25 jars of baby food on the belt, and then added two magazines. Clearly, the jars are 25 different items — they're not in a case, or in a bag. But he's thinking, "It's all baby food." Yeah, save for the fact that some are mashed carrots and some are mashed peas and some are mashed bananas.

"But they're all the same brand." Yeah, and that's like saying if I have a Matrix parked next to a Prius, it's still one car because they're both Toyotas.

(At this point, I have to wonder why more cashiers don't police their lines. Why not just tell the person dropping half the store on the express lane conveyor belt to politely move their butt to a regulation line? Is someone who so pressed for time they'd piss all over procedure suddenly going to take their business elsewhere if you simply call them on their idiocy?)

The brilliance of Shockey's ad campaign is how it challenges us to discover what motivates these cheaters. The obvious answer in the commercial is that Shockey's a moron who actually thinks 20 frozen dinners are one item, like grapes on a stem.

But remember his hidden mantra: "Don't do as I say, and don't do as I do."

Shockey knows exactly what he's doing, just like he knew exactly what he was doing back on the Stern show. He's guiding us to a happy life, so long as we're not following his lead. I fully expect his next 10 years to involve at least one huge contract dispute, a DUI, and perhaps even a pass at Suzy Kolber in a postgame interview.

Either way, he's once again instigated a national debate on a topic that needs discussion and, eventually, resolution.

From avoiding hungry men to eating Hungry-Man, if Shockey's talking, I'm listening.

Warriors ... Come Out and Skaaaaate!

Is it possible that the NHL has already failed its first post-lockout marketing test?

(Okay, second test; the league already botched the unveiling of super-rookie Sidney Crosby, who should have been treated like a unicorn, but was instead handled like a show pony.)

The League, under the guidance of alleged marketing genius Gary Bettman, revealed its new ad campaign (Windows Media required), which appears to be based around the concept of hockey-player-as-samurai-warrior. (If the video doesn't play, head over to NHL.com and find a version that does.)

While I applaud the League for finally embracing the physical brutality of the sport in its marketing (love those war drums), I have to wonder what, exactly, it intends to sell by having a chick in a sheer nightie putting pads on some kid who looks like Kirk Muller. Because I don't expect to see either of them when I tune into OLN this season.

And how can the NHL compare its players to the most honorable warriors in history when it refuses them the right to defend their honor with that damn instigator rule?

The ad begins with a Sun Tzu quote about clever warriors winning with ease. Here's another quote that the NHL might want to pay attention to: "Making no mistakes is what establishes the certainty of victory."

But hey, maybe this samurai hockey player thing ain't so bad.

Does this mean that if the Kings lose a game, there's a chance Jeremy Roenick might do the honorable thing and impale himself on his own sword?

Greg Wyshynski is the Features Editor for SportsFan Magazine in Washington, DC, and the Senior Sports Editor for The Connection Newspapers of Northern Virginia. His book "Glow Pucks and 10-Cent Beer: The 101 Worst Ideas in Sports History" will be published in Spring 2006. His columns appear every Saturday on Sports Central. You can e-mail Greg at [email protected].

Posted by Greg Wyshynski at 11:55 PM | Comments (2)

Nobody Asked Me This Time, Either, But...

The Local

The last time the Los Angeles Angels boasted a 20-game winner, they were known as the California Angels, the 20-game winner was a trim fellow named Nolan Ryan, and Gerald Ford was just over a month settled in as the nation's first unelected president to claim the office through other than the Electoral College.

This time, the Angels' 20-game winner is a portly fellow named Bartolo Colon, who has become a 20-game winner for the second time in his career and the first time with the same team from one to 20, having won 10 apiece for the 2002 Cleveland Indians and Montreal Expos.

Ryan in 1974 rolled up an earned run average (2.89) .55 below the American League average; Colon, through this writing, has rolled up an ERA (3.34) .96 below the league average, a capacity which might have given him a 2.48 pitching in Ryan's season. Ryan in 1974 also earned a 1.82-to-1 strikeouts-to-walks ratio, aligning 367 strikeouts to 202 walks.

Colon, through this writing, has struck out less than half (149) and walked likewise (40), for a hair short of a 4-to-1 K/BB ratio; or, if you prefer to think of it this way, Colon has walked a mere 20 percent of what Ryan walked. The Express in the 10 starts leading to his 20th win in 1974 went 6-4 with a 2.21 ERA; Colon, in the 10 leading to his 20th, has gone 8-1 with one no-decision (a game he pitched more than well enough to win) with a 2.70 ERA.

As it happens, Colon resembles a beach ball with legs when captured sideways by a photographer in mid-delivery. Or, if you prefer, he resembled what Ralph Kramden might evince had he become a pitcher and not a bus driver, minus the bang-zoom punches. Call him the Local, if you must.

The last such 20-game winner in memory was Mickey Lolich. David Wells, winning 20 for the 2000 Toronto Blue Jays, resembled a mere two pounds of baloney in a one-pound sack. Clearly enough did Wells and the Express lack what it takes to run in company that fast. We who claim each day that the biggest thing into which we ever get is our pants salute the Bartolocal.

Running of the Bulls

There is even less breathing easy now than when Johnny Damon made the observation Sunday. And the Olde Towne Team needs no reminder that dropping six of 11, while the Empire Emeritus is winning nine of 10, is not the way to make security atop the American League East.

Nor do they need any reminder that Mike Timlin and his fellow bulls squandering a 4-2 lead into a 7-4 Tampa Bay Devil Rays win is even less exemplary a way to make such security. Especially on a night when Randy Johnson continues to resemble the Big Unit we have all known and loved, unless we are Baltimore Orioles hitters, and the Empire Emeritus steps genteelly over them into a half-game AL East lead they haven't seen since New Orleans was dry. There are right and wrong times and ways to run the bulls.

This Time, The End

Sometimes it seems no season passes without Ken Griffey, Jr. suffering another season-ending injury or surgery. Missing 15 games with a right foot sprain, suffered rounding second earlier this month, Griffey come Monday faces surgery to clean out his left knee and purge his hamstring of scar tissue.

With 35 home runs, 92 runs batted in, 85 runs scored, a .369 on-base percentage, a .576 slugging percentage, and a .946 OPS, Griffey made a) a magnificent Comeback Player of the Year case, b) the Cincinnati Reds worth watching for more than awhile, and c) the non-waiver trade deadline interesting, with the Chicago White Sox believed pursuing a deal, but Griffey saying through his agent he had no desire to leave his hometown team, even though he also wanted to play for a contender once more.

At least this time the annual event came after he performed according to his once-customary standards, and at all but season's end.

Walking and Chewing Gum

Said Barry Bonds during the San Francisco Giants' visit to the Washington Nationals, when not hitting a bomb a night: Congress surely has far more important things to ponder than, you know, that business. Said an aide to Rep. Tom Davis (R-Virginia), the chairman of the House Government Reform Committee: Chairman Davis and ranking Democrat Henry Waxman can, in fact, walk and chew gum at the same time.

You may recall just how good they were in March: Davis and Waxman said they had no wish to "impede or complicate" official legal investigations. Thus they declined to invite Bonds to its inquisition because of the then-still-open Fabulous BALCO Boys probe. But they thought nothing of inviting Jason Giambi — in spite of the then-still-open Fabulous BALCO Boys probe. It took the Justice Department for them to disinvite Giambi, Justice advising them a day later that they stood precisely to impede or complicate an official legal investigation.

The day may come yet when Davis and Waxman can walk and chew gum at the same time. You will recognise it when they declare that, henceforth, business having nothing to do with "government reform" (yes, the phrase rings like "profligate skinflint") is none of their business.

Spoils

The half-game lead remains in the American League East and has yet to arrive in the American League Central, even if the East's dance changed partners for at least one day. And the East is not necessarily hosting the only spellbinding dance in town.

The Cleveland Indians took two out of three from the Chicago White Sox, who still have innings to play in spite of a 15-game Central lead shrinking to two and a half and an 11-9 September against the Tribe's 15-4 month thus far. A rare Cleveland bullpen lapse and a 10th-inning walkoff home run by Joe Crede in the second of the three showed as much, but two homers from Travis Hafner, five-hit pitching from Scott Elarton, and White Sox starter Jon Garland just not having it — in his own words — put the Indians two and a half back.

A sweep would have closed it to half a game, but the two-of-three still leaves the Indians with momentum enough on a 14-of-16 spell. The White Sox are 7-of-16 and formerly owned a 15-game division lead. And if they think a two and a half lead is safer than the 15-game lead that now seems last year's news, they may care to think twice, even if they have a small advantage between both clubs' coming pairs of sets with spoilers in waiting.

The Tribe has dates next with the Kansas City Royals and the Tampa Bay Devil Rays — they are 10-4 against the Royals to date and 3-4 against the Devil Rays. The White Sox have dates with the Minnesota Twins and the Detroit Tigers — they are 8-6 against the Twins to date and 9-1 against the Tigers. The Royals greet the Indians in Kansas City on a 9-11 September. The Devil Rays — who have just helped push the Boston Red Sox a half game behind the Yankees for the first time in what seems generations — are 9-10 for the month to date. The Twins come to Chicago on a 7-11 September, while the Tigers begin a set with the Seattle Mariners on a 4-18 September.

And the Central could still go down to the final weekend wire. Guess who the Indians and the White Sox finish against? In Cleveland. With the Indians holding the extra motivation of no hope to win the season series against the White Sox, but every hope of stealing the division from them. Who says the Red Sox and the Yankees have to have all the final weekend's fun?

Posted by Jeff Kallman at 10:10 PM | Comments (0)

See You From Heinz Field, Section 235

Section 235-236 at Heinz field. That's where I'll be on Sunday, just like every Sunday for a Steelers game. See, the thing is, I am from Pittsburgh — but like many Pittsburghers, I moved to another city for greener pastures.

I still go back for the games though, in fact I have missed weddings, dodged a work trip to the Philippines (it was the Steelers vs. Jets playoff game last year), and I have even passed on a more lucrative career opportunity, just to ensure I am there every single game.

Since Heinz field has opened, I have been to every single Steelers game at Heinz Field. Not only have I been to the games, but I am on 40-yard line, club level, Steelers side. The funny thing is, I don't have season tickets. In fact, I have never used a ticket to get into the stadium. It's just not that easy in Pittsburgh.

In a football-crazed town, a ticket to the beloved hometown Steelers is hard to come by, unless it is through family. Forget about becoming a season-ticket holder, there is currently a 25-year waiting list. I really can't afford to buy a ticket to the game from eBay, either. So how on earth am I going to get into this place?

I had an idea during my senior year at Duquesne University. If you can't beat them, join them. So that's what I decided to do. I couldn't have picked a better time. It was 2001, and the Steelers just dawned a new home. This new home was bigger, and hence the Steelers needed extra staff.

Five years strong, I have worked section 235-236 as an usher. Being at the stadium gives me a rush, the highest of all highs. I was there for great playoff victories against the Ravens and Browns in the past. I was also there for two AFC championship games. Those were the lowest of lows.

The first loss, to the eventual Super Bowl champion Patriots, was after a 13-3 season. The Steelers were the favorite, the loss was a shock. I rebounded.

The second loss, to the eventual Super Bowl champion Patriots, was after a 15-1 season. A magical season in which a rookie QB dubbed "Big Ben" couldn't and wouldn't lose. The thought that day was, it can't happen again can it? Not after this magical ride!?! To, oh no, here we go ... again!

Walking away from the stadium that day was tough, it was a defeated town, and it had a ghost town feeling to it. I had doubts I could ever go to a game again. The loss just hurt that much.

Well, it's a new year and another opportunity against the Patriots. Here we go ... again. Let's not forget it is only Week 3 of the season, this game will not do anything but give a solid glimpse of where each team is at this point in the season. This could very well be another AFC Championship preview.

Coach Bill Cowher is poised and determined to not only get to the big game, but to win it this time. This may be his best opportunity to do it. How does a coach keep last year's 15-1 team, a team that is 2-0 this year and has crushed both opponents, from getting complacent and comfortable?

"We'll keep the edge," he said. "Trust me, we'll keep the edge. Whether it's New England or whoever it is, you have to. Not having it is not even an option," said Cowher.

"You can't look at what we did in the past and think, because of what we did, we can just go into the next game and beat somebody," receiver Hines Ward said. "Especially the defending champions. The veteran guys understand that we need to go out and put in the work, because this is a championship team coming to our backyard. We can't be expected to come out and just play. We gotta go out there and execute our game plan and simulate that at practice as much as possible."

But how can the team stop Tom Brady? During that championship game, Brady exposed the No. 1 defense in the NFL. Troy Polamalu is quick to acknowledge that neither he nor the secondary played particularly well against Belichick's Patriots in the AFC championship game last January.

They allowed too many big plays — completions of 60, 45, 18, and 16 yards — and let New England set the tone. Perhaps his added role in the defense, which includes playing linebacker in the quarter package, will throw off Tom Brady, who went 14-of-21 for 207 yards with two TDs in the AFC title game.

It is a new year and the Patriots actually appear vulnerable with QB Tom Brady looking very human last week and their running game mediocre at best. No one wants to exploit those weaknesses more than a Pittsburgh team that has lost two AFC Championship Games to New England in the past four years. The Steelers run defense will look to shut down Patriots RB Corey Dillon and then pressure Brady into making some mistakes. However, don't count Brady and Co. out just yet. Look for the Patriots to keep Pittsburgh off balance with their play-calling and formations. If the Steelers play with too much emotion and players try to make too much happen, it will create seams New England's offense is capable of exploiting.

But what can the Steelers exploit? Once again, New England has major problems in the secondary. Equally as important, New England has some changes at linebacker.

Specifically, can the Patriots really expect to make it three-straight Lombardi Trophies with Chad Brown and Monty Beisel starting at inside linebacker?

The Steelers investigated both in free agency and envisioned Beisel a potential backup who could contribute on special teams and Brown a role-playing pass-rusher at 35. The Pats concluded the two could replace Tedy Bruschi and Ted Johnson inside.

Ultimately, there won't be many surprises in this heavyweight slugfest. Look at that AFC Championship Game. Pittsburgh QB Ben Roethlisberger threw three interceptions and fumbled once. He will be eager to prove he can move and still protect the football going up against this defense, but it's important that he stay patient and take what the defense gives him. New England does a good job of masking its coverage and it has the playmakers to turn a Roethlisberger mistake into a costly turnover.

In their past three losses to New England, the Steelers committed 13 turnovers — in their one win, they committed none.

The winner of this game will win the turnover battle. Special teams, specifically setting up field position, will be just as important. Oh, and I heard Rodney Harrison's comments on the crowd not being a factor. Tell that to section 235.

Posted by Kevin Ferra at 12:18 PM | Comments (2)

September 23, 2005

The Urbanization of Gainesville

Gainesville, Florida. Saturday night. 90,716 people wanted to see history made. Instead, 90,716 made history themselves, marking the largest crowd ever in the University of Florida's school history and the largest crowd ever to watch a football game in the state. What could have possibly been so interesting to these people?

Perhaps it was the potential battle for the SEC East Championship — No. 5 Tennessee taking on No. 6 Florida under the lights. Perhaps it was the 16-7 Gator victory, its first over the Volunteers in three years. Perhaps it was the stifling Florida defense getting their hands on everything. Perhaps it was head coach Urban Meyer.

The hype was there surrounding the whole Florida team. However, Meyer was the one with the highest expectations, expectations that started piling up when Meyer was first introduced as Florida's 21st head coach in January. Yet with any new coach, the expectations are always set high, either to fill the shoes of a legendary coach who retired or to reinvent a consistently unsuccessful program.

Meyer's case was the latter, as he took over for the infamous Ron Zook who had at least four losses every season for three years and lost two lower-rated bowl games in an embarrassing manner. One thing's for sure, after signing a seven-year deal with Florida for $14 million, Meyer had better not drown in The Swamp.

Three games and three wins into the 2005 college football season, Meyer has already completed his first set of tests to improve the school's football program, but that was work completed before he was even Florida's official coach.

Growing up in northeast Ohio, Meyer was an athletic teenager. He was drafted in the 13th round of the Major League Baseball June Amateur Draft in 1982 as a shortstop and played two years of ball in the Atlanta Braves organization. He then attended the University of Cincinnati, where he lettered as a defensive back in football and earned a bachelor's degree in psychology in 1986. After graduating, he studied at Ohio State for two years for a master's degree in sports administration.

Now, the 41-year-old Meyer is riding one of the fastest waves to the top tier of college coaches. He served as an assistant at Ohio State, Colorado State, Illinois State, and Notre Dame before becoming the head coach at Bowling Green and most recently, Utah, totaling 19 years of coaching experience for first-rate programs. However, it was his two years in Utah that Meyer earned most of his fame, coaching the Utes to the school's first perfect record in 75 years in 2004. In fact, his current 19-game winning streak dating back to 2003 trails only USC's Pete Carroll's 24 wins in a row for the nation's longest.

But all Meyer knows is hard work and winning. When he was coaching the Utes, his teams not only played opponents well, but they flat-out mangled them, including a 35-7 route of Pittsburgh in the 2004 Fiesta Bowl. Meyer's teams are 24-2 at home, and his 21-2 record at Utah earned him back-to-back Mountain West Conference titles. His Utes, known for their spread option attack, ranked third in the nation in total offense last year. The spread offense typically featured a quarterback (Heisman Trophy finalist Alex Smith) in shotgun formation. In order for it to work, it relied on a successful running game and many option and shovel passes, reverses, misdirections, or deep passes.

Meyer has brought this style of offense to Florida, and right away, there were questions as to whether or not the players could adapt to it. In Saturday's game against Tennessee, evidence of its presence came early in the game when quarterback Chris Leak faked the option left, pitched to receiver Andre Caldwell who was going right, and when Dallas Baker provided a key block, Caldwell scurried 18 yards for a touchdown to take a 7-0 lead. Yet despite that early score, the offense struggled with other tasks, including blocking and protecting Leak, who was sacked five times in the game. Though Leak finished connecting on 17-of-26 attempts for 179 yards, the offense only put together two long drives the whole game.

The real fireworks came from the other side of the ball, where the defense blanketed Tennessee (1-1), which started Rick Clausen at quarterback and then replaced him with Erik Ainge after the first two series. The Gators D put constant pressure on Ainge with two sacks and held Tennessee running back Gerald Riggs to 13 yards in the second half. But the most important second half statistic was the zero points allowed by the Gators D in the second half.

The question has to be asked — what in the world is Meyer telling his players to prepare them so well?

With images of recent last-second defensive flops resulting in losses still fresh in Gator fans' minds, Zook haters were thrilled to see that this new Gator's D looked sharp.

"That was a great win by a great defense, pretty good special teams, and an inadequate offense," said Meyer.

Though the offense was mostly unproductive, one has to remember that the Gators were playing one of the toughest defenses in the nation. But Meyer is one to believe in his players and put his confidence in them. On several fourth downs, Meyer chose to go for it, including a fourth-and-inches try that ended in Leak getting sacked by DT Jesse Mahelona.

But heck, as long as they keep racking up Ws, who really cares how they do it?

And confidence is what Meyer should have in this team, as it returns four senior offensive linemen and a third-year starter at quarterback in Leak. Before Zook's final season, the Gators had lost 17 players who had started at least one game, but this year, only eight had moved on. Meyer isn't the only one with experience.

Meyer's teams are also notable for their excellent play on special teams in both coverage and returns, and he got a great showing on several occasions including cornerback Dee Webb's blocked field goal in the second quarter that would have been a 37-yarder. Florida also excelled in getting great field position, as it averaged out on the 40-yard-line against the Volunteers.

Special teams also saw a bright light in kicker Chris Hetland, who made three field goals (20, 25, 39) after coming back from being benched two games ago for missing an extra point. Hetland is a walk-on junior who joined the team prior to the 2002 season.

Florida could very well be unstoppable under Meyer. Once they cross into the red zone, Meyer's teams are more than dangerous. In 2004, Utah led all teams in red zone efficiency, and in his five years as a head coach, his teams had an 89.1% red zone percentage, scoring all but two times.

A father of three kids ages six to 14, Meyer also knows how to take care of others. However, his team knows how to take care of the football. Saturday's offense never turned the ball over, and his teams haven't had an interception in 84 attempts for the second longest streak in the nation.

Still, we must ask, what is he telling his players?

Criticize the offense all you want, but the final scores haven't been entirely indicative of the entire picture. This year, Florida's offense averaged about nine more minutes of possession time than its opponents, 103 more passing yards, 76 more rushing yards, and 179 more total yards. But that's not all. The nation's fifth-ranked Gators lead the SEC in scoring defense, passing defense, total defense, third down defense, and field goals.

Not to overstate the importance of Saturday's defeat of Tennessee, but it's hard to overlook the fact that since the SEC adopted a 12-team, two-division format in 1992, the winner of the Tennessee-Florida game has won the East Division nine times and advanced to the championship game.

The defeat of Tennessee was just another step for Meyer's program revival and his first test in the SEC. With the huge win coming in his 50th game as a head coach, he's already proven he can hang with the big guns as his 42-8 record and .840 winning percentage in those games, is the best record through 50 games of any of the current SEC coaches, including Florida State's Bobby Bowden.

Tennessee was by far the highest-ranked team Meyer had ever coached against, but it didn't appear that way. In comparison, Zook's first big game was against the University of Miami in 2002, but it wasn't so favorable for him. Zook and the Gators got destroyed 41-16, and it was more than an omen of what was to come for the man now coaching at Illinois. Meyer, on the other hand, has clearly started out on the right foot.

Not only has Meyer won over his players, but he's won over the notoriously highly-critical Florida fans. While still being respectful of the Gator's tradition, Meyer has instituted other new game-day features. The Swamp Things is the new Meyer-endorsed name of the student section at Florida Field, and the team participates in the Gator Walk every home game, two hours before kickoff. It involves the team taking a walk from the busses down the sidewalk and through a gate while the cheerleaders, pep band, and students wish them well as they go. Meyer even partook in the singing of the fight song after the game, which made many fans ecstatic because that is not something Zook would do. There is clearly just something special about Meyer's presence and fan relations that is incomparable to anyone else.

Never mind if Florida's offense doesn't exactly resemble that of the 2004 Utes. Never mind if the Gators have the youngest offensive coordinator in the SEC (Dan Mullen, 33). Never mind if Florida lost Caldwell for the season after he broke his right leg against Tennessee. Never mind if they lost DE Ray McDonald to an ACL injury. Never mind if Florida is playing in one of the toughest football conferences with games against Alabama, Louisiana State, Georgia, and Florida State, on the horizon.

They've got Leak in a Heisman race and Meyer in a Coach of the Year race (though he won multiple honors in 2003). They're fifth in the nation in the polls. They're undefeated, tied with Georgia in the East Division, trailing only Vanderbilt. They've got a proven winner in Meyer, who will face his first road game as Florida's coach this weekend against Kentucky.

Bernie Machen used to be the president at Utah. He knew what he was doing when he hired Meyer as head coach then. Machen, who now has the same job at Florida, knew what he was doing hiring Meyer this time around, as well.

After Tennessee's game, UR-BAN MEY-ER echoed throughout the stands and miles away.

And don't expect to see any “FIRE MEYER” t-shirts or websites anytime soon...

Posted by Sara Normand at 5:55 PM | Comments (3)

NASCAR Top 10 Power Rankings: Week 27

Note: the quotes in this article are fictional.

1. Tony Stewart — Stewart padded his lead in the points from five points to 20 with a second-place finish and the all important bonus points for leading a lap, and leading the most laps. Stewart was passed by Ryan Newman with two laps to go, spoiling a Stewart sweep of the New Hampshire races this year.

"That's was some hard driving," admits Stewart. "Don't think for a second that if we weren't in the Chase, one or both of us would have been in the wall."

Stewart is off and running towards his second Cup championship. He has a string of 13 consecutive top-10 finishes. If that streak stays alive, he will be nearly impossible to catch.

2. Ryan Newman — Newman finished round one of the Chase in the best way possible: winning. The last man in the Chase, Newman battled Tony Stewart hard in the final 10 laps, edging past on lap 299 for the win, his first victory since September of last year at Dover.

"And guess what race is up next?" asks Newman. "Dover. You know, the race I won last year."

Newman may have finally found his groove after misplacing it for all of this year. The question remains whether he can hold on to it for nine more races.

3. Greg Biffle — Biffle battled with teammate Matt Kenseth for third at the end, finally settling for fourth place, which left him second in the points, twenty behind Stewart. It was Biffle's sixth-straight finish of sixth or better.

"But I just can't seem to make up any ground on Stewart," complains Biffle. "I finish fourth, he finishes second. The more weight he puts on, the faster he gets."

Dover should present a setting for Biffle to cut into Stewart's lead. He won at Dover in early June, starting second and leading the most laps.

4. Matt Kenseth — Kenseth continues to rise up the point standings, moving from eighth to fifth with his third place at New Hampshire. Kenseth hasn't finished out of the top seven in the last five races, and continues to look like one of the top three contenders for the Cup.

"As long as the title stays in the Roush camp, I'll be happy," says Kenseth. "Wait, who am I kidding? I'd run over my grandmother to win it. You saw the way I raced Biffle, my teammate, there at the end. I'll give no quarter."

Back in June, Kenseth finished seventh at Dover, which was his best finish up until that point, and only his second top-10. From that point, he reeled off nine more top-10s.

5. Rusty Wallace — Wallace started seventh at New Hampshire, and finished sixth, while suffering the displeasure of watching Ryan Newman win the race. After falling a lap down near the midway point, the No. 2 Miller Lite team battled back, grabbing a "Lucky Dog" free pass to get the lap back.

"It was really fun battling Mark Martin down the stretch," says Wallace. "We showed all these young, stupid, brash, idiotic hotheads that you can race hard, yet clean, and not cause a wreck."

Anything in the top 10 will keep you in the hunt for the Chase. Wallace did just that, and he can expect a similar result in Dover, where he finished fifth in the June race.

6. Jimmie Johnson — Johnson's eighth-place finish was his best in the last four races, but not good enough to advance in the points. Johnson dropped two spots to sixth, but is only 53 points behind Stewart.

"I think it's safe to say that is 'striking distance,'" says Johnson. "And speaking of striking distance, how about the arm on that Robbie Gordon. If you're going to throw your helmet at someone, that is the way to do it. And Michael Waltrip even ducked!"

Johnson finished fourth at Dover in June after starting on the pole. A top-10 is likely, but J.J. must finish in front of those above him in the points for the top-10 to matter.

7. Mark Martin — Martin finished seventh at New Hampshire, leading 31 laps in a car from the camp of teammate Kurt Busch. Martin is in sixth, trailing Tony Stewart by 54 points.

"As long as we're in the top 10," says Martin, "we should be fine. We just want to qualify for the Chase. What? The Chase has already started? Oh, dear. Well, as Murtagh says over and over in the Lethal Weapon series of movies, 'I'm getting too old for this #$%&.' And I am."

Hey, Mark, you're never too old to show these young bucks how to win. So, go out and win one for the old guys.

In his last three races at Dover, Martin has not finished worse than third. He could make a substantial jump in the standings with such a finish this Sunday.

8. Kurt Busch — Feud alert! Feud alert! Busch was wrecked just three laps in at New Hampshire when Scott Riggs got loose in turn two and bounced Busch into the wall. While his car was in the garage for major repairs, Busch sauntered over to Riggs' pit area and engaged in a Sunday afternoon conversation with Riggs' crew chief, Rodney Childers.

"Why can't Busch be a man like other drivers?" says Childers. "You know, get back out there and wreck Scott if you've got a problem. Or throw your helmet at him, then utter a profanity on national TV. Don't come see me. Heck, I didn't hear a word Busch said, anyway. I had my headphones on."

Busch fell to 10th in the points, 142 behind Stewart. Now, his entire Chase strategy changes and he must race more aggressively to make up points. He began the Chase last year with six-straight top-10s, and a run like that would definitely put him back in contention.

9. Jeremy Mayfield — Mayfield began his quest for the Chase with a 16th-place finish that could have easily been a top-five had the final caution not flown. Mayfield was fourth when the yellow came out, and elected to pit. However, most of the other frontrunners stayed on the track, and Mayfield was left to scramble for 16th.

"To pit, or not to pit," says Mayfield. "That is the question. Unfortunately, it seems I never have the right answer. I guess anytime you're all alone on pit road, you are in trouble."

Now eighth in the points, Mayfield now must take a few more chances and hope for some attrition up front. Another finish outside the top-10 may ruin his Chase hopes completely.

10. Carl Edwards — Handling problems plagued Edwards and the No. 99 Home Depot Ford all day in New Hampshire, resulting in a 19th-place finish. Not a disastrous outcome, but certainly not the one Edwards was looking for in his initial race as a Chase participant.

"Not exactly what we were looking for," says Edwards. "But hey, at least I'm not Kurt Busch. That's disastrous."

Edwards is 109 points behind Stewart, in ninth-place. While winning the cup is highly unlikely, a finish in the top-six is not. Basically, this year is a training ground for Edwards, who, next year, is likely to have more of an impact in the Chase.

Posted by Jeffrey Boswell at 5:21 PM | Comments (0)

September 22, 2005

Bluebook Notes #3: '05 Trojans Best Ever?

I sent an e-mail this morning to Pete Rozelle telling him not to bother sending Los Angeles an NFL franchise. Instead, I told him to talk to the NCAA and figure out a way to move USC out of the Pac-10 and into the NFC West. All joking aside, the 2005 Trojans are truly in a class by themselves. Last Saturday, I attended the game, and saw this team take a step towards being mentioned with some of the top teams of all-time with a 70-17 trashing of Arkansas.

The USC/Arkansas game reminded me of how overmatched Angola looked when they tried to stop the Dream Team. The Razorbacks looked practically helpless as Southern Cal drove down the field at will. For those of you who were unfortunate enough to watch the game, the Trojans scored 28 points in 1:56!

Matt Leinart is an unbelievable quarterback who can throw deep, throw with accuracy, and is a killer when he throws on the run. Reggie Bush will keep orthopedic surgeons very busy breaking defenders ankles all year while scampering to the end zone. Dwayne Jarrett and Steve Smith are a superb duo of receivers who serve as deep threats and great possession guys. LenDale White and Dominique Byrd are also great talents who just don't have enough reps to show what they can really do. To sum it all up, the Trojans are beyond loaded, and have a great shot at creating an unbelievable legacy.

The Trojans will most likely be 10-0 going into the game against UCLA, and from what I saw in the Rose Bowl on Saturday, the Bruins just might be 10-0, as well. The Bruins lit Oklahoma up for 41 points and demonstrated why they have one of the most balanced attacks in the nation. Drew Olson was spectacular, going 28-38 and throwing for over 300 yards. He spread the ball around effectively and utilized all of his receivers, and his stud tight end Marcedes Lewis.

The UCLA defense also played well, which has to be very uplifting for Bruins fans. Last season, Bruin defenders were atrocious against the run and not too much better against the pass. It looks as if those days are behind them, as they forced several turnovers and held Adrian Peterson to under 60 yards.

Even though Oklahoma got spanked, Sooner fans shouldn't get too down. OU played a sloppy game and gave the Bruins far too many opportunities to score. This is to be expected and the team will improve as the season continues. Speaking of improvement, Rhett Bomar made huge strides in the game against UCLA and has the potential of being even better than Jason White.

The HeisDAQ

The race for the Heisman Trophy fluctuates week by week. The HeisDAQ will let you know whose Heisman "stock" is rising and falling.

1) Matt Leinart, QB USC (strong buy) — Leinart was absolutely fantastic against Arkansas. He threw for 381 yards and four touchdowns. He also had a beautiful 17-yard scramble to get into the end zone for another score. Leinart is having the season I thought he would have to in my Heisman preview in order to take home the hardware. As of right now, he's definitely the prohibitive favorite.

2) Reggie Bush, RB/KR/PR USC (buy) — Reggie Bush is truly a guy with other-worldly talent. He had over 200 total yards on Saturday and two touchdowns. The scary thing is that he seems to be getting stronger and stronger each week.

3) Vince Young, QB Texas (buy) — Young drops a spot due to a lackluster performance against Rice. He played reasonably well, but Jamaal Charles, Texas' freshman sensation at running back, played more like a Heisman candidate. V.Y. missed an opportunity to generate some gaudy stats, but the season is still young.

4) Chris Leak, QB Florida (buy) — Leak did a good job on Saturday leading Florida to a 16-7 victory over Tennessee. His numbers were solid (17-of-26, 179 yards) and the national exposure will certainly help boost his chances. Florida has a great shot to win the SEC, and they will need to do that, and stay undefeated for Leak to have a prayer to swipe the Heisman.

5) Brady Quinn, QB Notre Dame (buy) — Brady Quinn had an unbelievable game on Saturday. He threw for 5 touchdowns and 487 yards. Unfortunately, even that effort wasn't enough for the Irish to beat Michigan State. A loss to the Spartans would normally drop most guys out of contention, but MSU is pretty solid this year, and the spotlight will never fade from any Irish quarterback with talent. That's why Quinn stays at No. 5, and he's got a yawner at Washington before two huge games against Purdue and USC.

6) Laurence Maroney, RB Minnesota (hold) — Maroney had another solid performance on Saturday — unfortunately, it was against sorry Florida Atlantic. He rushed for 145 yards and two scores, but its just not enough for him to warrant serious Heisman consideration. He will have to start racking up 200-yard games if his bid to win the trophy is to be taken seriously, and this week's game against Purdue is the perfect opportunity.

7) Drew Stanton, QB Michigan State (speculative buy) — Stanton has vaulted up the HeisDAQ standings to the seventh slot with an unbelievable performance against Notre Dame. He did damage with both his arm and leg, and has the Spartans undefeated and nationally ranked. Stanton should have another chance to pad his stats with a yawner against Illinois before the big game in two weeks against Michigan.

8) Drew Tate, QB Iowa (speculative buy) — Drew Tate has always had a knack for comebacks. Tate's stellar performance against Northern Iowa shows why this kid is one of the toughest competitors to ever suit up for the Hawkeyes. Even with all of the superlatives, however, Tate's chances of winning the Heisman are slim. If he has any chance, he will have to come up big this Saturday against the Buckeyes.

9) Gerald Riggs, RB Tennessee (speculative buy) — Riggs played a decent game against Florida, but it just wasn't enough for the Vols to win. He ran for 86 yards, but he just couldn't find the end zone, and this causes him to stay put in the HeisDAQ. He will have to start amassing more yards in the conference schedule, and with the uncertainty at quarterback, he should have plenty of opportunities.

10) Maurice Drew, RB UCLA (speculative buy) — Maurice Drew has always been one of the most underrated players in college football. He is quietly having a very good season, and is the second newcomer to the HeisDAQ. He must continue his excellent play and keep the Bruins undefeated if he wants serious consideration for the trophy.

Dropped Out — Ted Ginn, Ohio State; Adrian Peterson, Oklahoma

Others to Watch — Omar Jacobs (buy), D.J. Shockley (speculative buy), Reggie McNeal (buy), Reggie Ball (speculative buy), DeAngelo Williams (speculative buy), Brian Brohm (speculative buy)

Games to Watch/Picks to Click

In this section of Bluebook Notes, I highlight three of the best potential games for the next week. I will also give my pick as to who will come out victorious.

Season Record: 3-3 ATS; Last Week: 2-1 ATS

Iowa (+7) @ Ohio State

In my Big Ten preview, I noted that this would be the most important game of the season for the Hawkeyes, and it is a must win if they are going to win the conference. Iowa has not played to the level I thought they would, but Ohio State hasn't looked invincible, either. This game comes down to location, and since it's played in Columbus, I think the Buckeyes have the edge.

What the Hell is a Buckeye 24, Endangered Hawkeyes 13

Tennessee (+6 ½) @ LSU

The uncertainty around this game is amazing. Firstly, will there even be a game? Hurricane Rita is barreling towards the Gulf Coast and should make landfall on Saturday. If the game is not cancelled due to weather, Tennessee needs to decided which quarterback will lead this team. Erik Ainge is the early choice, and will face a team that is playing for so much more than football. Destiny seems to be on LSU's side, so I'm going with the Tigers.

America's Team 28, UTeetering on Collapse 14

Georgia Tech (+11) @ Virginia Tech

The major question that has to be asked is will Reggie Ball, Georgia Tech's star quarterback, play this weekend. His bout with viral meningitis was a successful one, but he is still undoubtedly feeling its effects. Chan Gailey would love to see him play, but he may have to go with freshman Taylor Bennett. This would be an unbelievable test for the frosh sensation, and I think he will fail in the chaotic environment in Blacksburg. If Ball can start, he will be facing his stiffest test in a Hokie team that has an outside shot at national title.

Vick's Hokies 35, Stung Hornets 13

The Mailbag

The mailbag is the final section of Bluebook Notes. This week's comes from Jaycee in Farmington Hills, Michigan:

Only a fool would think that Michigan will end up playing in the putrid Sun Bowl. The Notre Dame game was just a hiccup and we will still go undefeated in our conference. I'll be waiting to hear from you then.

Jaycee, you will be hearing from me at the end of the season, but I don't know if you will like the news. Michigan will not win the Big 10 this year, and there are at least three teams that should finish ahead of them. If you add Michigan State and Penn State to the mix, the Wolverines could potentially end up in (gulp) sixth-place. I don't think that's going to happen, but a fourth-place spot is definitely a possibility.

Do you think that I'm "off my rocker," or did I hit the proverbial "nail on the head?" Let me know! Send an e-mail to [email protected] and include your name and hometown. I'll do my best to include it in the next week's column.

Posted by Avery Smith at 9:19 PM | Comments (3)

NFL Weekly Predictions: Week 3

The quotes in this article are fictional.

Atlanta @ Buffalo

In Week 1, J. P. Losman watched in glee as Houston's David Carr was thrown to the wolves, the wolves being the Buffalo defense. Last week, Losman found himself in the shoes of Carr, as he played sacrificial lamb to the Tampa Bay defense's wolves, managing to complete only 12 of 29 passes for 113 yards.

"It's like those Buccaneers had been at sea for six months without any other human contact," says Losman. "It's not good to be a sheep in that situation."

Luckily for the Bills, backup quarterback Kelly Holcomb entered the game and completed two of three passes, a much higher completion percentage than Losman's, albeit for only negative one yard.

"I think the Bucs called that a 'second helping,'" says Buffalo coach Mike Mularkey.

Like the Bills, tha Falcons suffered their first defeat, losing at Seattle after an emotional Monday night win against the Eagles. In the loss, Falcons' quarterback Michael Vick suffered a hamstring injury on a fourth quarter run.

"Imagine that," says Atlanta head coach Jim Mora. "Vick running the ball. What do you expect? He's only got one legitimate receiving threat, Alge Crumpler, who's a tight end named after pond scum."

If Vick is out, the Falcons are in trouble. If Vick does play, the Falcons are still in trouble. The Bills' cornerbacks can stop Atlanta's wideouts one on one, leaving the rest of the defense to stuff the box, and the Bills' speedy linebackers will neutralize Vick and the Falcon running game.

Willis McGahee rushes for his first touchdown of the year, and Buffalo wins, 20-10.

Carolina @ Miami

The Panthers whipped the the defending champion Patriots 27-17, making New England look ordinary at best while holding them to only 39 yards rushing and forcing three turnovers. The Panthers got three one-yard touchdown runs from Stephen Davis, who otherwise rushed for 74 yards on 22 carries.

"It's a good thing Stephen can fall into the end zone over a pile of bodies," says Carolina coach John Fox, "because we sure couldn't pass the ball worth a flip. They may call Jake Delhomme the 'Rajun Cajun,' but he played like the 'Bayou Bozo.'"

The Dolphins returned to form after their Week 1 upset of the Broncos. And by "returning to form," I don't mean they simply lost. I mean, they lost despite a great game from their defense, which held the Jets to 17 points.

"That's 17 points," says Miami linebacker Zack Thomas, "but when you take into account the 'Frerotte Factor,' it's more like 24 points. When your name is 'Gus' and you're not as well-known as Disney's Gus, The Kicking Donkey, then you've got problems. Therefore, we've got problems."

Quarterback play will be important to the outcome of this game. That statement is about as obvious as John Madden analysis. So, I'll be more specific. The team with the most error-prone quarterback will lose. That's likely to be Frerotte, who doesn't have the security of a solid running game that Delhomme has. Like many teams, Miami's defense will keep it close, but when they need a score most, the offense sputters. Davis records another four inch TD plunge, and the Panthers post a tough, 19-12 win.

Cincinnati @ Chicago

Of the 12 interceptions thrown by NFC North quarterbacks last Sunday, none came from the arm of Bears' rookie Kyle Orton. Of course, when your defense is responsible for five of those twelve, and scoring on one, do you really need to pass?

"No, not at all," says Orton. "When we're playing the Lions and Joey Harrington, my responsibility as a quarterback is to throw a few third-down incompletions and get the offense off the field ASAP, thereby allowing the defense to take the field. If they don't score outright, then, at worst, they put the offense in position for a few easy rush touchdowns. Quarterbacking is easy when you don't have to pass."

The Bengals, 2-0 after waxing the Vikings 37-8, are finally living up to expectations and are tied with the Steelers atop the AFC North. Cincy racked up 504 total yards, including 337 passing yards from Carson Palmer.

"Last year," says Palmer, "we would have lost this game, 41-37. Last year, the Vikings' defense flat-out sucked, but their offense always bailed them out. This year, their defense flat-out sucks, and their offense flat-out sucks more."

There are parallels galore in this game. Bengals' coach Marvin Lewis won a Super Bowl with the Ravens as defensive coordinator. Bears' coach Lovie Smith was defensive coordinator for the Rams in their Super Bowl winning year of 2000. Both teams grabbed five interceptions last week. And, finally, Cincinnati and Chicago begin with a "C," and Bengals and Bears both begin with a "B."

"And here's one more," says Smith. "None of that crap means jack squat! Why don't you give me some in-depth analysis, like third-down efficiency, blitz packages, and red zone tendencies?"

Hey Lovie, here's all the analysis you need when you're dealing with the Bengals: you have to keep up with the Johnson's, Rudi, Chad, and occasionally Jeremi. And don't forget the Houshmanzedah.

"Man, I don't even like Indian food," replies Smith.

I mean "T. J." Houshmanzedah. That guy is hard to handle, and it's even tougher to find his name in the phone book.

Once again, the Bears' defense keeps them in the game, allowing them to run the ball and keep the pressure off of Orton. But Cincy has too many weapons to hold down for an entire game. Rudi Johnson rushes for 124 yards on 27 carries, and Palmer offsets two interceptions with two touchdown passes.

Bengals win, 23-21.

Cleveland @ Indianapolis

Try this trick on a friend: wait until said friend has a mouthful of food, then say, "The Colts have the NFL's No. 1-ranked scoring defense." When they choke on their food, administer the Heimlich maneuver and save their life. Not only will you have informed them of an interesting football fact, they will also owe you a lifetime debt, which you could have them pay off instantly or in convenient monthly installments.

"I think I'll try that on Mike Vanderjagt," says Peyton Manning. "Instead of the Heimlich, I'll just let him put his foot in his mouth, which he's been known to do on occasion."

Indeed, the Colts are surrendering an average of five points a game, which comes in handy when your offense in averaging only 17 a game. And Manning has only thrown for two touchdowns this year.

"That means he'll have to average over three touchdown passes for the remaining fourteen games to reach his NFL record of 49," explains Cleveland head coach Romeo Crenel. "By the way, don't you think Butch Davis is a much better expert analyst on the NFL Network's Playbook than he was coach of the Browns? He really knows his X's and O's. Apparently, he can explain them to civilians much better than he can to actual players."

The hot Cleveland offense, led by Trent Dilfer, doubles up on the Indy defense's scoring average, exploding for 10 points. Manning and the offense play more like a team that has to score 31 points, as opposed to 11. Three TD passes later, one each to Marvin Harrison, Reggie Wayne, and Edgerrin James, the Colts register a 30-10 win.

Jacksonville @ N.Y. Jets

It's former Marshall quarterback versus former Marshall quarterback, and Byron Leftwich and the Jags face off against Chad Pennington and the Jets. The cannon-armed Leftwich, who took a beating against the Colts, squares off against the velocity-challenged Pennington, who never met a deep out he couldn't short-arm. You may have seen Pennington last Monday taking phone calls for Hurricane Katrina relief. If you didn't notice, he was the guy wearing a headset because his arm was too weak to lift a phone.

"That's was me during a break," says Pennington, "reading my favorite book, A Farewell to Arms."

Last week, the Jags hung tough against Indy, losing 10-3, a loss, no less, but also known as a 'moral victory.'

"Hey!" says Jacksonville coach Jack Del Rio. "We don't speak of moral victories! You either win, lose, or tie. There's is no 'moral' in the equation. Do I look like Aesop? Do I look like a guy that will tell you some fable with some silly lesson? No! I'm Jack Del Rio! If I tell you a story, the moral of that story will be this: don't make Jack del Rio tell you a story, because the moral will always be Jack del Rio feeding you a knuckle sandwich."

Settle down, Jack Del Rio. I understand it was a tough loss, with the Colts being your main division rival. But don't worry. Your guys always play their hearts out for you, Jack Del Rio.

"Unless we're playing the Texans at home," says Del Rio, "and our playoff hopes are riding on a win. That was the case last year, and we lost 21-0."

Injuries will play a role in this game. Jets' RB Curtis Martin strained his knee last week, while Jags' safety Donovin Darius is out for the season with a torn ACL. Martin is questionable, but, even should he play, he will find little room to run against the Jags. The same goes for Jacksonville running back Fred Taylor. It will come down to quarterbacks — Leftwich can throw farther, so the edge goes to the Jags. Josh Scobee wins it with a late field goal, and Jacksonville wins, 17-14.

New Orleans @ Minnesota

Check the NFC passer ratings, and guess who you will find at the bottom?

"I'll take a guess!" says Daunte Culpepper. "Ahhh, Joey Harrington?!"

Wrong! And if that was your third strike on the game show Family Feud, the opposing team could "steal," or should I say "intercept" your points. "Intercept" is a concept you should be quite familiar with, having thrown eight in only two games. But good guess, though. Harrington's just in front of you, with a 52.3 rating to your 41.6. And he threw five INTs last Sunday, just like you.

Culpepper was quite upset with his performance against the Bengals. So upset, that he had to call someone for comfort. Did he call his parents? Nope. His minister? Nope. Did he call 9-1-1? Nope. He, in fact, called Randy Moss.

"Randy put me on speaker phone," says Culpeppper, "and had his new teammates sing the Raider fight song. Then Kerry Collins told me how nice it was to have Randy in the lineup. That's when I broke down in tears."

The Saints were pasted 27-10 last Monday by the Giants, mainly because New York jumped to an early lead, forcing the Saints to abandon the run game and making Deuce McAllister a non-factor. McAllister should find room to run against Minnesota's NFL-worst rushing defense, and Joe Horn is always open. Until the Vikings' offense proves they can score, they can't win.

New Orleans wins, 26-14.

Vikings' coach Mike Tice awakens the next morning with a chopping block next to his pillow.

Oakland @ Philadelphia

This may be the most-watched game of the week. Why? Because it's a rematch of Super Bowl XV, when the Raiders beat the Eagles? Or, because the game pits two teams with the most passionate (or insane, depending on your tolerance of the actions of fans who like to drink and fight, or wear spiked shoulder pads and skeleton masks) fans in the NFL? Well, if you could put the Eagles' fans and the Raiders' fans in a cage, then I'd rather see that. But if not, I'll be watching for Terrell Owens versus Randy Moss. The "Brother From Another Planet" versus "Mad Skillz." "Big Mouth versus "Big Hair." "T.O." versus the "Mo Fo."

"Whoever said the quarterback makes the receiver is a fool," says Moss. "Look at Daunte Culpepper."

"Look at Jeff Garcia," Owens responds. "It's a fact. It's written. The receiver makes the quarterback."

Moss and Owens have almost identical statistics: Owens has 12 catches, Moss 10. Moss has 257 yards, Owens 255. And they both have two long touchdowns apiece. The last time these two met in 2003, Moss was riding high with the Vikings, while Owens was in meltdown mode with the 49ers. Needless to say, Moss got the upper hand in that one.

This time, Owens is with the better team, a team equipped to contain Moss. Owens, along with RB Brian Westbrook, will get open. Moss and Owens love a stage on which to perform, and they don't let down. Owens scores two touchdowns, and Moss catches a short TD pass from Collins just before the half. As the end of the third quarter approaches, the 68,000 fans in attendance at Lincoln Financial Field collectively moon Moss.

"Man, a brother can't even get any love in the City of Bro' Love," says Moss, as he walks off the field with 1:33 remaining in the third.

Eagles win, 30-17.

Tampa Bay @ Green Bay

Are the Packers in trouble? On a day when Brett Favre joined Dan Marino and John Elway as the only men to pass for 50,000 yards, Green Bay lost to Cleveland 26-24 and fell to 0-2 in the NFC North. And guess who's coming to town? The Tampa Bay Buccaneers and the league's No. 1-rated defense.

"Do I look worried?" says Brett Favre, twirling his six-shooters. "We don't fear the Bucs. We just hate them. Sure, they've got a tough defense, anchored by No. 1 nice guy Derrick Brooks. But as long as I'm under center and the pain killers have kicked in, we can play with anyone. I might throw four interceptions, but I'll still be throwing."

The Bucs are 2-0, and their defense is as fearsome as it was a few years back, when Warren Sapp was laying cheap shots on unsuspecting lineman. Sapp is gone — now the interior defensive line is led by Anthony "Booger" McFarland. It's quite a funny moment when, before the coin toss, McFarland and Packer tight end Bubba Franks are officially introduced by Favre.

"Booger. Bubba. Bubba. Booger," says Favre, as McFarland and Franks shake hands.

The pleasantries end at kickoff. The Bucs immediately attack with the league's leading rusher, Cadillac Willaims, whose early yards set up a Brian Griese to Michael Clayton touchdown pass. A Favre turnover leads to another score, and the Bucs are up early, 14-0. Favre then takes to the air, throwing 42 times to try to keep the Pack in it. It's too much to overcome, and Tampa maintains a safe cushion all day.

The Bucs improve to 3-0 with a 32-18 win.

Tennessee @ St. Louis

Last week, the Titans smothered former division rival Baltimore, and this Sunday, they will look to avenge their Super Bowl XXXV defeat at the hands of the Rams.

"Brian Billick won't stop yapping about how defense wins championships," says Titans' mustached leader Jeff Fisher. "In the Ravens' case, their defense can't win games, much less championships. They didn't win their Super Bowl with defense, they won it with a quarterback, Trent Dilfer, who played mistake-free and made the big throw. Look at Dilfer now in Cleveland. I bet the Ravens wish they still had him. Instead, they've got Kyle Boller and Anthony Wright from which to choose. That's like choosing a manner of death, with your only choices being the electric chair and firing squad."

Tennessee improved to 1-1, and single-handedly outscored the rest of the AFC South last Sunday, 25-20 (10 by Indy, 3 by Jacksonville, and 7 by Houston).

"Shouldn't that be worth three wins?" asks Fisher. "Or at the very least, $5 off to the Grand Ole Opry?"

The Titans totally shut down the Baltimore offense last week, which takes very little effort. This week, the task will be decidedly more difficult against the Rams, who boast talent and an unusual knack for not using that talent to its fullest potential. Last week, St. Louis eeked out a win in Arizona when the Cardinals, in the red zone with time running down, commited a penalty resulting in a 10-second runoff. Time expired. Game over.

"I never was worried," says Rams' coach Mike Martz. "As long as I'm not making decisions, we're fine. When left in the hands of the other team, we win. It's when I try to make some brilliant strategical move that we fail."

Win or lose, the Rams are always out-coached. This game is no exception. Fisher's young troops play inspired, frustrating the Rams for four quarters. The Rams have trouble in the red zone, but Marc Bulger finds Torry Holt for a late fourth-quarter TD.

Rams win, 27-20.

Arizona @ Seattle

Arizona is 0-2, dead-last in the NFC West, and coach Dennis Green is not happy.

"Yeah, what's going on here?" asks Green. "We're in last and I'm the only head coach in this division not named 'Mike.' Sounds like some kind of conspiracy by the Mike's to hold the non-Mike's down. In fact, league-wide, there are way too many coaches named 'Mike,' seven by my count. Is it any coincidence that ESPN's top-rated morning radio show is 'Mike and Mike in the Morning?' I think not."

Nobody ever said Dennis didn't march to the beat of his own drum.

Seattle won for the first time this season, beating the Falcons 21-18 by jumping out to an early 21-0 lead and holding off a late Atlanta charge. As is usually the case with the Seahawks, they are still plagued by inconsistency. Twenty-one points in a the first half, then none in the second.

"Hey, I thought we were playing 'Black Jack,' says coach Mike Holgren. "We had 21. My 'hold or hit' cheat sheet says 'hold' on 21. Luckily, the Falcons didn't draw a three; otherwise, we would have been in trouble."

Once again, the Seahawks come out blazing, and the Cards are stunned by the sixty-degree weather in Seattle, which is about forty degrees cooler than Phoenix.

"Gosh, it's freezing out here," says Arizona wide receiver Larry Fitzgerald. "I better put on another layer of Under Armour."

Once the Cardinals warm up, they stage a late comeback, but Kurt Warner spikes the ball to kill the clock, not realizing it was fourth down. Shaun Alexander has a big day, with two TDs, and the Seahawks prevail, 29-24.

Dallas @ San Francisco

After Week 1's emotional upset of St. Louis, the 49ers came crashing back down to Earth, landing with a thud that sounded much like the noise made when thousands of people collectively jump off of a bandwagon. San Fran was presented a hard lesson by the Eagles: don't come to Philly expecting a win, especially after a loss by the Eagles. The Eagles held the 49ers to 142 total yards and only eight first downs.

"But look on the bright side," says 'Frisco coach Mike Nolan. "Our 131 yards in kickoff returns almost matched our total yards. I'd say that's something to build upon."

Last Monday, the Cowboys were less than four minutes away from going 2-0, until Santana Moss somehow slipped behind the Dallas defense twice for two long touchdown passes from Mark Brunell.

"Brunell may have lost some velocity," explains Dallas safety Roy Williams, "but his change-up is top notch. He fooled me. I didn't think he could throw it that far. And that Santana Moss is da bomb. Now I've got to listen to a week's worth of constructive beration from Coach Parcells."

The 49ers antagonize the Cowboys further by having Hall of Famers Joe Montana and Dwight Clark on the field during warm-ups, reliving "The Catch" from the 1982 NFC Championship game. Montana and Clark run the play about twelve times, until Parcells sends Williams out to "put a helmet" on Clark. Williams makes his move, but is stopped just before drilling Clark by former 49er great Ronnie Lott, who takes Williams down despite having only half a pinky finger on his left hand.

Once the pre-game fireworks settle, the Cowboys work Julius Jones away from the side of left outside linebacker Julian Peterson. Drew Bledsoe, the NFC's highest-rated passer, for now, picks apart the San Fran secondary. Dallas' Doomsday Defense, version 2.0, makes life miserable for Tim Rattay.

The Cowboys win, 20-7.

New England @ Pittsburgh

After two-straight 100-yard, one touchdown rushing games, what could be next for Willie Parker, the second-year back who's filled in admirably for the injured Duce Staley and Jerome Bettis.

"I'll tell you what's next," says Parker. "It's called 'contract holdout.' I'm making peanuts, while Bettis and Staley stand on the sidelines in their t-shirts and hats looking crippled and all. I'm doing all the work, and they can go sign autographs at a car dealership and make more than I do for taking the hits. I want a raise!"

"Consider it done, Willie," says Steelers coach Bill Cowher. "How does $2 more an hour sound?"

"I'll take it!" replies Parker.

The Steelers are looking a lot like the team that last year went 15-1 and hosted the AFC Championship. Cowher-ball is clicking, with the running game producing, QB Ben Roethlisberger making all the right throws, and the defense dominanting. Last week, the Steelers sacked the Texans' David Carr eight times, with three of those by safety Troy Polamalu, which ties him for the league lead. Polamalu does, however, lead the league all by himself in one category: hair.

The Steelers would like for Sunday's game to go just like it did last year on Halloween, the Pats' and Steelers' last regular season meeting. In that game, the Steelers dominated from the outset, taking an early lead and forcing New England out of their normal game plan of running to set up the pass. Pittsburgh won easily. This time, look for New England to come out passing to avoid obvious blitzing situations. It works, temporarily, as the Pats score first on a Tom Brady to Deion Branch pass. But the Steelers quickly adjust, and resort to Willie Parker runs and Ben Roethlisberger rollouts for easy completions. The Steelers get the lead, then hold it for dear life.

Pittsburgh wins a slugfest, 20-16.

N.Y. Giants @ San Diego

The Chargers dropped their second straight close game, falling 20-17 to Denver on Jason Elam's field goal with five seconds left. San Diego now shares the AFC West cellar with the Raiders.

"And man does it stink," says Charger coach Marty Schottenheimer. "Any time you're that close to the Raiders, the stench is overwhelming. We're not discouraged by our position, though. It's early, and we're encouraged by our Major League Baseball brethren, the Padres, who could be two games below .500 and still win their division."

On the other hand, the G-Men are 2-0, lording over the NFC East along with the Redskins. New York has outscored their opponents by an average of 20 points. Despite all those good things, coach Tom Coughlin is still perturbed, looking like he's passing a ping pong ball-sized kidney stone. But, has anyone ever seen Coughlin smile? Does he even have teeth? Coughlin has supplanted Tampa's John Gruden as the coach most likely to be seen mouthing curse words on camera.

Anyway, the Giants are rolling, and Eli Manning looks comfortable running the show, although he looks a little goofy sporting the bowl cut, which is the same style he's worn since he was six, I'm sure. Manning is looking for Plaxico Burress more often, and the Tiki Barber/Brandon Jacobs rush combo is hard to stop. But the Chargers will be gunning for Manning, who said before the 2004 draft that he didn't want to play for the Chargers.

"Hey, John Elway did it," says Manning. "Why can't I? And don't tell me I made the wrong decision. I'm starting in New York. Philip Rivers is back-up to Drew Brees. That's like being third string."

The G-Men bottle up LaDainian Tomlinson, and Manning throws for two TDs.

New York wins in an upset, 23-21.

Kansas City @ Denver

Everyone is saying the Chiefs are winning with defense. Not true. As usual, they are winning with offense, namely the 'Priest and Larry Show." No, that's not a new addition to the FOX Network's animated Sunday lineup. It's the backfield tandem of Priest Holmes and Larry Johnson, who have combined for five touchdowns in two games.

"The offense is doing a great job, as usual," says Chiefs' coach Dick Vermeil. "And the defense is playing well, also. They're not complaining that the Jets handed them a handful of fumbles, nor are they complaining that the Raiders can't go two plays without committing a penalty."

Denver rebounded from Week 1's stunning loss to Miami with a huge division win over San Diego. Should the Broncos win Sunday, they would have two division wins over their chief competition in the West. A win would be even bigger for the Chiefs, giving them two road wins over division opponents, and at least two games up on each team in the West.

"Sure, it's a big game for us," says Denver coach Mike Shanahan, lounging in his office while wearing his John Elway jersey and nothing else. "But I thrive on big games. Unfortunately, my quarterback, Jake Plummer, does not. His spine turns to jelly in games like this. But at least we're at Mile High, and I'm praying for a September blizzard to slow the Chiefs down."

The Chiefs just have too many weapons for the Broncos to stop. They may slow the K.C. run game a bit, but QB Trent Green is set to bust loose after zero TD passes in his first two games. The Denver rushing attack is unsettled, with Mike Anderson and Tatum Bell battling injuries, and cornerback Champ Bailey will play suffering from the effects of a dislocated shoulder.

Kansas City wins, 24-19.

Posted by Jeffrey Boswell at 6:59 PM | Comments (0)

Preseason NBA Fantasy Draft Top 10

With the Spurs regaining the crown after a one-year hiatus, Tim Duncan also re-established himself as the pre-eminent player in the NBA. But is No. 21 the top fantasy prospect for the 2005-06 season? Here's a look an in-depth look at the top six players you cannot pass up and the rest of the players worthy of a first-round pick.

1) Kevin Garnett SF, Minnesota — Latrell Sprewell: gone. Sam Cassell: ditto. So who does that leave for Minnesota to rely on? None other than the manchild Kevin Garnett. K.G. will be without the talented supporting cast he had in years past, but also will probably have less headaches as Latrell and Sammy skipped town. That means huge fantasy stats for one of the league's best power forwards who should not only see his point totals rise, but will be out to prove to the entire league that he can be the player to lead the T-Wolves to the next level, with or without an all-star backcourt. Garnett's numbers were definitely top-five worthy last year, but the former MVP is heads above the rest just because he will be for the most part doing it all alone and will relish being the man again in the Land of 10,000 Lakes.

2) Tim Duncan PF, San Antonio — Normally, I would be taking the Tim-Robot with the first pick, but unlike Garnett in Minny, he is not the team's only viable option. With the all-star caliber emergence of Manu Ginobili and Tony Parker and the additions of Michael Finley and Nick Van Exel, the Spurs have more firepower than ever and may not need to rely on the back of Duncan so much. That doesn't mean he still won't be averaging 20 and 10, but I'd expect a lot more games where there could be other Spurs leading the team in points scored and taking the burden off T.D. as the focal point on offense.

3) Shaquille O'Neal C, Miami — Remember when Shaq was the lock for the No. 1 pick every year if the ping-pong balls fell in your favor? Well, he's still a top-three option, nobody can fill up a stat sheet like the Diesel, and no one can be as dominant. But he has shown some wear as he's gotten older and with Dwyane Wade staking claim as not only the best player from the ‘03 draft (no offense to LeBron James), but one of the best guards in the league, the Shaq-Fu is no longer needed to score as much as in the past. Throw in J-Will and Antoine Walker chucking up threes from every spot imaginable in America Airlines Arena and Shaq's offense numbers should see a dip. Plus, there's always free throws, but if you don't mind the .461 shooting from the charity stripe, than he will more than make up for it with his career averages of 12 rpg and 2.5 bpg.

4) Tracy McGrady SG, Houston — So what if he's never led a team out of the first round of the playoffs? If he's still there in the first round and the big three are gone, then T-Mac should be your pick. He's reportedly been working out like a madman in the offseason and no matter how much attention Yao Ming gets down in H-Town, McGrady is the top player for the Rockets. He should not only challenge for the scoring title, but see assists go up as he and Yao should work more cohesively in their second season together. Imagine a player who averages 25+ ppg, over 6 rpg, and nearly 6 apg who is only getting better. Yikes!

5) Amare Stoudemire PF, Phoenix — If a lot of big men go first, then you might be tempted to quickly snatch up Amare, but that may not be such a bad thing after all with his 26 ppg and 8.9 rpg averages last season. Forget the comparisons to K.G. or any other power forward — Amare is on his way to creating a class of his own, grabbing rebounds and dunking over everyone and everything on his way. Though some teams should catch up to Phoenix and not be so caught off-guard by their style of play this year, Amare should be just fine filling in stats across the board. Plus, he has never been that injury-prone and at 22, he may even be a safer pick than some of the older veterans.

6) Dirk Nowitzki PF, Dallas — With two of the Big Three gone in Steve Nash and Michael Finley, Dirk is the only player left from a Mavericks team that came within two games of the NBA Finals three years ago. It's hard to ignore a man who averaged 26 and 9 last year. The Mavs have a lot of young firepower and Dirk will be relied on for many of the points, but could suffer some wear and tear with Doug Christie and Jerry Stackhouse trying to pick up the slack instead of Fin-Dog and Nashty.

7) Kobe Bryant SG, Los Angeles Lakers — So it wasn't that easy in LWS (Life Without Shaq). But despite the awful win total, Kobe straight put up buckets night in and night out last year and with Zen Master Phil Jackson returning, his game should only get better. I wouldn't expect great assist totals, but he just may end up with the scoring title and Phil will get every last amount of energy out of him to see his totals rise in other areas, as well. Not bad for a 26-year-old averaging 27 and nearly 6 and 6.

8) LeBron James SG, Cleveland — What do you do after your team completely collapses in the second half of the season and misses the postseason for the seventh straight year? You come out swinging and determined the next season and expect LeBron to continue to live up to the hype, especially now that he has the best supporting cast around him that he's had in his pro career with the additions of Donyell Marshall and Larry Hughes. His assists should go up with valid scoring options Drew Gooden and Zydrunas Ilgauskas returning and his other offensive stats should do nothing but improve as he will be looked to carry the team scoring-wise in '05-'06.

9) Jermaine O'Neal PF, Indiana — Ron Artest said he should have been MVP two years ago and if it wasn't for the catastrophe that the Pacers roster underwent last year (and Jermaine‘s vicious overhand haymaker), he could have been the MVP last season. This year the former Trail Blazer bench warmer will take over the reigns as leader with Reggie Miller gone and should put up great numbers on both sides of the ball. A revamped Pacers roster with the return of Ron Ron should take some of the load off Jermaine, but that shouldn't ward you off from selecting him if available. The kid is pure all-star material each season, putting up over 24 ppg and 8 rpg.

10) Jason Kidd PG, New Jersey — A lot of picks could round out the first round, but with every other position taken, it might not be a bad idea to select the best point guard available. With no disrespect to Nasty Nash, Jason Kidd will be the best PG option this season. With a healthy R.J. and Vince Carter, those alley-oops will be more frequent at Nets games than Joe Piscopo sightings and those months of rest this offseason should allow J-Kidd to fully recover from his knee injuries. That means almost double-digit totals in points and assists, more rebounds than any other guard in the league, and one of the top free throw percentages in the NBA.

Big Ben gets rebounds and blocks, Paul Pierce is one of the most dangerous scoring threats in the league, and the Matrix can do just about everything, but Jason Kidd should see a re-emergence to his form when the Nets ruled the East.

Posted by Seth Berkman at 3:20 PM | Comments (2)

September 21, 2005

Look at That Ravens Offense Go

Brian Billick, simply put, is not an offensive genius. Ordinarily, that wouldn't be a hindrance towards being a head coach in the NFL. Bill Belichick doesn't qualify as an offensive genius. Neither does Bill Parcells. Both of them are quite successful head coaches.

The thing is, Billick was only hired as a head coach because he was labeled an offensive genius. After all, it was his prolific Minnesota Vikings offense that broke all those records in 1998 before losing at home to the Atlanta Falcons in the NFC Championship Game.

It was also Brian Billick's offense that went 21 straight quarters (or a little more than five games for all you math majors) without a touchdown in 2000. It didn't matter, because the defense was so dominant that it won the Super Bowl anyway, without any help from the offense. Ray Lewis was fond of telling his scoring-challenged teammates to just hold 'em till the defense gets out there.

That "offense" was initially helmed by Tony Banks for eight games. It was at that point that Brian Billick came to realize what everyone else in the league had discovered, that Tony Banks has no business being a starting quarterback in the NFL.

Billick then begrudgingly turned to his backup, Trent Dilfer. It was Dilfer that started the rest of the season, including the Super Bowl where he was the signal-caller in the Ravens' blowout of the Giants.

Billick was so enamored with the job Dilfer did all season that he didn't tender him a contract after the Super Bowl. Instead, the offensive genius went out and signed Elvis Grbac. Billick was eager to show off his new prize, preening for the HBO cameras (who were there filming Hard Knocks: Training with the Baltimore Ravens) every chance he got, insisting how great it was watching Elvis make this offense his.

In "his" offense, Grbac would go on to throw more interceptions than touchdowns. The Ravens defense was still ridiculously good, and they made it all the way to the second round of the playoffs. The strength of Ray Lewis and company though could no longer make up for the anemic Ravens offense, and they were summarily dumped by the Steelers.

Rather than be subjected to another season of ridicule and scorn, Grbac retired. In stepped the dynamic duo of Chris Redman and Jeff Blake. The team continued to sputter offensively in 2002, and finished the season under .500.

In 2003, Brian Billick tried his luck at drafting. He selected Kyle Boller with the 19th overall pick and intended to start him at quarterback from day one. Boller looked the part, too. A strong-armed, 6-4 rookie from California, he could throw 50+ yards from his knees!

The problem, though, is that Boller hardly knelt when throwing, and could never throw less than 50 yards, no matter how open the guy might be 10 yards in front of him. In a little more than two years, Kyle Boller has accumulated a career passer rating of 68.0. To give the reader some perspective, Patrick Ramsey, who is an absolute train wreck of a quarterback, has a career rating of 74.1.

The offensive genius thought the Ravens needed a change after last year's dismal offensive campaign, so he did the responsible thing, and blamed his offensive coordinator for failing to live up to the super-awesome offense Billick envisioned when he drafted Kyle Boller. He fired Matt Cavanaugh (although they say it was a resignation) and hired ex-Giants head coach Jim Fassel.

Jim Fassel, who turned down college head coaching opportunities because he believed he would get another chance to be a head coach in the NFL, accepted the position of offensive coordinator of the second worst statistical offense in football last season, of which he, incidentally, was a consultant of.

Jim Fassel, who took a once-promising Giants offense and turned it into a disaster one year later, has now teamed up with offensive genius Brian Billick. And so far the results are exactly what you would think they would be with these two self-anointed enormous talents at the controls — awful.

Fassel is quoted as saying about Boller, "There is nothing I see that should prevent him from being an outstanding quarterback." Maybe then Fassel is blind. Maybe it's whatever Billick is putting in the water that is blinding everyone, because surely the Ravens front would have seen the ruse Brian Billick has been pulling over their eyes for the last seven years.

Kyle Boller never had the tools around him said his supporters. This was going to be his year they said. Look at the talent now — Derrick Mason, who led the league in receptions last season, was brought in. Todd Heap is healthy. Mark Clayton was drafted. Jamal Lewis is out of jail. Everything is in place. Joe Theisman liked what he saw out of Boller after just one pass this season. This guy is for real!

Then the rest of the game was played and it was the same old Raven O. The opposing team clogged the line, daring Boller to throw, and the third-year man out of Cal could not get the job done. If it weren't for Minnesota, the Ravens would be guilty as the continually most disappointing hyped team in the NFL.

The problem remains constant. Kyle Boller is not a professional quarterback. He has a strong arm, but so do javelin-tossers. The Ravens' offense continues to be embarrassing, and Brian Billick is ultimately responsible. Billick continues to shine his Super Bowl ring as if he was somehow responsible for putting together a defense that was neither drafted nor coached by him.

Billick's show is the offense. His legacy is Banks, Grbac, Redman, Blake, and now Boller. He let Dilfer go, and has never found a suitable replacement. And for that, the Ravens should replace him.

Posted by Piet Van Leer at 3:03 PM | Comments (2)

Are You Ready to Get Shaq’d?

One night last week, a gay couple was walking down the sidewalk. A homophobe in a passing car began to shout anti-gay slurs at the couple. As if he couldn't get his point across with his verbal harassment, he got out of his car and threw a bottle at the couple. The homophobe would have made a clean getaway if only he didn't run into Miami's biggest superhero, Shaquille O'Neal.

O'Neal, the NBA star and Miami Beach reserve officer in training, trailed the homophobe and flagged down an officer who made the arrest. With his actions, Shaq became more than a basketball player — he became a guardian of justice. He became more than a basketball champion — he became a champion of the people. The AP story mentioned that Shaq has already been fitted for his police uniform, but they should probably skip straight to the cape.

From my viewpoint, this is one of the best stories in sports lately. Let's be honest, there are a lot of stupid people in the world, a lot of morons like this guy from Miami. Frankly, we need someone to knock some heads around, someone who won't take crap, and someone who is as massive as Shaq. The possibilities of this situation are endless.

For instance, consider the following scenario. The Miami Heat has a huge home game coming up against the Portland Trailblazers. Now the Blazers, doing what they do to get mentally ready the day before a big game, are doing their best Onterrio Smith and Ricky Williams impersonations. Not only that, but they were probably smoking some marijuana, too. (See, you see what I did there? You were thinking that they were doing impersonations of Williams and Smith by smoking marijuana, but what I did, this is the tricky part, is added that they were also smoking marijuana, so they were actually doing real impersonations of the voices and mannerisms of Williams and Smith. Yep, that was great.)

So what happens? They just happened to get arrested by the local constable, one Shaquille O'Neal, and can't play in the game.

Shaq also can use his powers to exert control over officials. Think Shaq would ever get in foul trouble again? He might, once, until he pulls over the head referee after the game and hits him with a "speeding" ticket. His presence alone would probably cause any official in the league to fail a field sobriety test (who could walk a straight line with Shaq breathing down their neck?). I'm sure he could even find a way to throw in a little criminal mischief charge just to make sure the officials learned their lesson.

He could also abuse his position to gain power over his teammates. Practical jokes could hit a whole new level. More important than that, Miami Beach would officially be a Kobe-free zone, or would be once Kobe got the message he wasn't welcome after Shaq hits him up with about a dozen parking violations. The only problem is I'm not convinced that Shaq is that big of a jerk.

That being said, this can still be a very memorable situation. I think it's pretty clear what needs to happen — Shaq in his own reality show. It would be a cross between "Punk'd" and "Cops," maybe something like "Shaq'd." The premise is fairly clear — like "Cops," Shaq would go around enforcing the law and delivering justice. The "Punk'd" part comes in with the production values.

The first thing he needs is his own entrance music (he would need to have original theme music produced, but for the sake of argument, he could use the theme music from WWE star Big Show until it's ready). No entrance is complete without some pyrotechnics, so every time Shaq arrives on scene, there would be some random explosions and fireworks.

I could be the only one who sees any value in this, but it could be something special. Imagine a common thief holding up a liquor store at gunpoint, the clerk cowering in the corner, the thief counting his cash as he heads for the door, and then BOOM! Shaq's music hits, the thug starts to tremble, and Shaq makes his grand entrance and delivers justice in a way only he can.

The bottom line is that Shaq has taken the first step to superhero status. Hopefully, he uses his new position in an entertaining fashion, but even if he doesn't end up on TV or abusing his authority to abuse Kobe Bryant, he is still going to do his best to clean up the world, one moron at a time.

The Sports Gospel According to Mark is sponsored by BetOnSports.com. BetOnSports.com gives you the greatest sports action to bet on. Wager on football, cricket, boxing, Rugby, horse racing, and more. Mark Chalifoux is also a weekly columnist for SportsFan Magazine. His columns appear every Tuesday on Sports Central. You can e-mail Mark at [email protected].

Posted by Mark Chalifoux at 2:43 PM | Comments (6)

Addressing Baseball's Needs

Dear Bud Selig,

Baseball still seems to be losing ground to football in the battle for America's heart, so I've compiled a few thoughts about how we can change this trend. Feel free to use any of them you want.

The first pains me because I'm a Padres fan. I never thought there would be a need for this, but if a division winner has a record of .500 or worse, there should be a rule in place letting their playoff spot fall to the team second in the wildcard standings. Since the Padres just lost to Colorado 20-1, this idea is looking pretty good. But if that seems too extreme we can make it a one time thing. We probably won't ever see a worse playoff-bound team than the 2005 Padres. The entire NL West is horrible, so why not consider the Astros or the Phillies as the NL West representative and move on?

Since all the recent problems plaguing baseball have surrounded power hitting, can we tilt the balance more back towards pitching? How about focusing on players like Chris Carpenter or Dontrelle Willis? And let's make a few rule changes. Pitchers aren't allowed to use the inside of the plate, retaliate for teammates getting beaned, or batters stopping to watch home run shots. So let's allow pitchers to put one near the ear hole for a batter who admires his four-bagger.

On a similar note, the use of protective body armor is getting to the point where its ridiculous. If you want to sacrifice your body for a free base (yes, you Craig Biggio), it better hurt you a bit to do it.

Is it too early to admit we made a mistake in expanding into Colorado and Tampa Bay? If you're determined to keep teams there, can we give all ticket holders a 50% discount since they're pretty much watching minor league ball? The exception being, of course, when the Rockies play the Padres.

Since Canada only has the Blue Jays as their representative in baseball, can we rename them Team Canada and let any Canadian-born players have the option of joining the team? They could have a pretty good team with Jason Bay, Ryan Dempster, Eric Gagne, Corey Koskie, Paul Quantrill, Matt Stairs, and Larry Walker. Actually, on second thought, how about we just give a team to Latin America and let the Canadians focus on hockey now that its back.

Back to pitching. What is it about old pitchers from Texas dominating the rest of the league? First, Nolan Ryan and now Roger Clemens. Roger has been so good for so long, and now he owns a 1.77 ERA at age 43. Not even in his magnificent 1986 year was his ERA that low. And if the Astros could score runs, he would have 20 wins. Way to bookend your career, Roger. How about hyping the Rocket and praying he never tests positive?

If the ideas above didn't work for you, then you'll really love this next one. Home runs are down this year, and that just doesn't make for exciting baseball. I propose that we allow the use of performance-enhancers, but regulate their use. We'll let all the steroid users, oops, I mean "over-the-counter supplement users," move to the former American League (now called the Anabolic League to keep the same initials), and let everyone else stay in the Non-Anabolic League (still the NL).

Think of the fierce competition (sometimes bordering on uncontrollable rage) for DH spots in the AL. Interleague games will feature a team of David Ecksteins versus a team of David Ortizes (who happens to have the best nickname in all of baseball). Won't it be fun to watch Eckstein going into to break up a double-play or dislodge Ortiz holding the ball at home?

And think of the advertising possibilities. "Major League Baseball sponsored by Minute Maid. Minute Maid wants to know, Are you juiced?" Or perhaps you're going in a different way, and looking for sponsorship from the medical field. Your crackdown sure has been a boon for doctors. You've created millions of dollars in extra revenue just to take care of knees that for some unknown reason, simply won't heal.

How is it that the Cleveland Indians are averaging fewer fans per game that the Toronto Blue Jays (perhaps Team Canada, eh)? The Indians, currently leading the AL wildcard, can barely half-fill their stadium. Where are all the fans? For some reason, I doubt they are all at Browns games. And the way the White Sox are playing, Cleveland might even end up winning the division. The Indians organization must be doing something to keep the fans away. As commissioner, you should encourage them to hold more creative promotions. Who wouldn't show up for Coco Crisp night when every hit he gets wins fans a free box of Cocoa Krispies at the grocery store? Or what about a Bob Wickman swimsuit calendar?

But I do have to say you did a nice job with the Brewers before you moved on. Miller Park sure is a nice stadium. Great atmosphere, design, and polka music. Now to get a team there with a winning record...

Well, that's about all the ideas I had for you. One last question, however, for you. Have you booked your trip to St. Louis for the presentation of the World Series trophy?

Sincerely,

Chris Lindshield

Posted by Chris Lindshield at 2:34 PM | Comments (2)

September 20, 2005

Goes the Lion, Comes the Lamb

Back on December 23, David Eckstein signed a three-year, $10.25 million deal with the St. Louis Cardinals, closing the final loop in Major League Baseball's first three-way shortstop swap orchestrated entirely by the players.

Now, as the 2005 regular season winds down, a clear winner — and loser — in this swap can be adjudicated. But we'd be remiss if we didn't hear the case first.

Days after the Boston Red Sox won their first World Series in 86 years, there were hints that shortstop Orlando Cabrera may not be part of a title defense. Front office rhetoric steeped in superlatives over him always seemed to stop just short of an add-on qualifier. The word out of Yawkey Way was that Cabrera's asking price was too high, perhaps as much as $6 million per year for four years. With the imminent rise of Double-A prospect Hanley Ramirez, that was simply too long of a commitment.

Meanwhile, two thousand miles away in St. Louis, the Cardinals owned baseball's best record in 2004 and had successfully handled the postseason pressures that come with such a distinction, winning their first National League pennant in 17 years. Now the nucleus was in place from which to launch a multi-year attack on the World Series trophy and it must be preserved. Retaining shortstop Edgar Renteria, the defensive stalwart that also brought a little pop to the plate, became their highest Hot Stove priority.

Big market spenders became like so many bullets to dodge. The Orioles and Yankees were set at shortstop, while the Mets and Dodgers hoped they had already found their players of the future. If the Angels got restless, it would probably be on account of Nomar Garciaparra, who was also a preoccupation of the Cubs. And the Red Sox? Well they had youth and, in the meantime, they had Orlando Cabrera.

In Boston, Orlando Cabrera walked on water.

The Red Sox had been mired in an 8½ game deficit when they acquired Cabrera from the Montreal Expos at the 2004 trade deadline. The three-team deal sent the moody and disgruntled Nomar Garciaparra to the Cubs. After that trade, the Sox began to roll, winning 40 of their final 55 games and even closing to within two games of first place on two occasions.

Cabrera's stellar defensive play was attributed to much of that success. His .294 average and timely hitting were the icing on the cake.

Then came October. Nervous Bostonians accustomed to failure discovered an inner peace when opposing batters hit anything to the left side of the infield. Throw in his .288 batting average, .377 OBP, and 11 RBI in 14 errorless postseason games, and the image of Orlando Cabrera forever intertwined itself among the circle of flagpoles that sit on the base of Boston's World Series trophy.

When rumors that Cabrera would not be resigned reached the communities of Red Sox Nation even before the touring trophy, they were not well received. Those rumors soon found validation once the intentions of Red Sox GM Theo Epstein were revealed.

He wanted Edgar.

In St. Louis, Edgar Renteria was the second coming of Ozzie.

Heralded as among the best in the next wave of superstar shortstops, Renteria's sixth year as a Cardinal had just ended in a World Series appearance. Over those six years, Renteria batted .290 and averaged 75 RBI. Twice, he hit .300. In 2003, he became the first National League shortstop in 18 years to drive in 100 runs and his total is still an all-time high among Cardinal shortstops.

He is Ozzie, but with a bat.

The championship experience Renteria brought from Florida became the cornerstone in building a perennial pennant-contender in St. Louis. It should not be surprising that he was the Cardinals' most sought-after free agent last winter. Of all the challengers for Renteria's services, none could have been worse than the Boston Red Sox.

Their humiliation complete after being swept in the World Series, St. Louis sent Boston back east with a heartfelt congratulations in true Midwestern form. Deep down, both organization and fans wished it the last they'd hear from Beantowners until 2005 interleague play.

Nevertheless, the World Series was merely prelude to an off-field battle now denominated in dollars rather than runs. When it drew to a close with the December 15 announcement that Renteria had agreed in principle to a four-year, $40 million deal with Boston that was beyond the Cardinals' mid-market means, it seemed as if the World Series had never ended.

But St. Louis is as resilient as it is gracious. Management wished Edgar well then turned their sites to the unsigned Cabrera. And once again, the long purse-strings of the Boston Red Sox strangled them.

Notwithstanding Renteria's signing, pitching had been Boston's highest off-season priority. It was also the top priority of Bill Stoneman, GM of the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim.

As top arms like Carl Pavano, Mark Mulder, Pedro Martinez, Tim Hudson, and Randy Johnson were being spoken for, laws of supply and demand drove up the popularity of secondary level pitching. The battlefield soon became the Cubs' Matt Clement, with the Red Sox and Angels the principal warriors.

Two days after signing Renteria, the Red Sox also won the battle for Clement.

With prospects for pitching now slim, the Angels reorganized. "We decided that our next step would be shortstop," Stoneman later reflected at the press conference in which he announced Cabrera's signing.

With Orlando now an Angel, David Eckstein was free to look for another gig.

Over his four years in Los Angeles, Eckstein was a yeoman. No frills, just steady fielding and consistency at the plate. As an Angel, he hit a solid .278, albeit with only 17 homers and 170 RBI.

However, Eckstein's biggest contribution came in the 2002 postseason, when he hit safely in 13 of the Angels' 16 games en route to the franchise's first championship. In the seven-game World Series, he hit .310 and seemed a permanent fixture on the bases, scoring six runs.

Eckstein was blue-collar in a land where glitter reigns. However, the grit and perseverance Californians came to appreciate are iconic virtues in the heartland of America. St. Louis looked west, David Eckstein had his home, and the Cardinals had their shortstop.

"It's a good fit for St. Louis," GM Walt Jocketty quipped when the deal was done.

Fast forward to the last two weeks of the 2005 season. We find each shortstop in the thick of yet another pennant race. Currently, all three are on first-place teams, though for two it is a day-to-day adventure.

Only David Eckstein and the St. Louis Cardinals are on cruise control.

St. Louis again owns baseball's best record and appears poised for a successful defense of their National League pennant. Whether in large part or small, the Cardinals' ability to make themselves whole in the wake of Edgar Renteria's loss has contributed to their current success.

Through 145 games, David Eckstein has a .288 average, 7 home runs, and 56 RBI. Last year, Renteria hit .287 with 10 homers and 72 RBI in that spot. However, with Jim Edmonds and Albert Pujols behind him, Eckstein's higher OBP (.359 vs. Renteria's .327 in 2004) offsets his lack of production and better complements the strengths of his teammates.

Nor has the Cardinals infield suffered. Eckstein has matched Renteria's 2004 fielding percentage (.982 vs. .983). Despite a reputation for limited range, he gets to more balls than his predecessor (5.10 vs. 4.41) and has already turned 16 more double plays than Edgar did in all of 2004.

In Boston, the transition for Renteria has not been as smooth.

Of the parties to last winter's swap, the shy and unobtrusive Renteria figured to have the greatest difficulty, transitioning from medium market to large, Midwest to East, limelight to spotlight.

Fortunately for a fielder of his reputation, the yardstick by which he'd be measured was his glove, a tool more stable than the bat. After all, defense isn't as prone to slumps.

Last weekend, Renteria failed to handle a routine relay back into the infield in the eighth inning of a one-run game, allowing Oakland's Jason Kendall to tack third base onto his double. That error, his Major League-leading 28th this season, is endemic of Renteria's season.

Although not costly on this particular night, Renteria's mental and physical lapses have stacked the deck against his team in ways that only a sabermetrician could quantify. But fans feel it instinctively and have reacted with raw subjective emotion, often booing him.

Boston's faithful know too well how Orlando Cabrera — the man Renteria replaced, the player he is compared to — has but five errors all year and has the highest fielding percentage among major league shortstops.

They wonder how far ahead of the Yankees they'd be if the unearned runs born of his 23 additional errors could be magically erased from the box score.

Then there's offense. Replacing Cabrera's bat did not figure to be an obstacle since he was primarily a defensive acquisition. However, Cabrera proved surprising in his 57 games with Boston in 2004, hitting .294 with 6 home runs and 31 RBI.

By contrast, Renteria is now hitting .274 with 7 homers and 62 RBI. That's a drop of 20 points and 15 annualized runs batted in, neither of which makes fans cease wondering what clubhouse intangibles they've gained as compensation for the field and plate presence they've lost.

To them, their organization has tried to fix what was not broken.

In the process, GM Theo Epstein has tipped an applecart that may well land Bill Stoneman's Angels and Walt Jocketty's Cards in this year's Autumn Classic as Boston fans look in from the outside.

Posted by Bob Ekstrom at 5:49 PM | Comments (1)

NFL Week 2 Power Rankings

Five Quick Hits

* Christian Okoye was at the phone bank in New York Monday night. How awesome is that? Christian Okoye!

* I don't generally advocate firing coaches during the season, and there are some things Mike Tice handles really well, but ... well, isn't Barry Switzer available? And I hear Chris Palmer isn't busy.

* I'm sorry Atlanta's coach doesn't like to be called Jim Mora, Jr., but that's his name. Jim Mora is his dad, who was also an NFL coach, and it's confusing when someone referring to the younger one just says "Jim Mora."

* With all due respect to Packers/Bears and Steelers/Browns, the best rivalry in the NFL right now has got to be either Dallas/Washington or KC/Oakland.

* Nicknames are coming back to the NFL, and I think it's great. But is it legal for Pac-Man Jones to have "P.Jones" on the back of his jersey?

***

This week did not smile on teams playing for sentiment. The Saints went into New Jersey on the NFL's Hurricane Relief weekend and lost their "home" opener. The Cowboys inducted Troy Aikman, Emmitt Smith, and Michael Irvin into their Ring of Honor and lost a fourth-quarter lead to their fiercest rival. The Packers retired Reggie White's jersey and lost to the Browns, which, according to me, means the NFC has to forfeit this year's Pro Bowl.

This week also brought a lot of questions and comments about my power rankings. I rank teams simply on how good I think they are. Not how well they played in Week 1, or the first two weeks of the season, and certainly no stupid formulas so I have to pretend the Giants are better than the Panthers (via comparative games against New Orleans). Last week, no one moved by more than seven positions, because I'm not going to totally change my opinions based on one game. With the exception of the plummeting Vikings, you'll see the same thing this week. Brackets show previous rank.

1. Pittsburgh Steelers [1] — In the mid-1970s, Pittsburgh won its first playoff game, and later two Super Bowls, on the strength of a dominant defense and a powerful running game. Late in the decade, Terry Bradshaw matured as a passer and the team supported its defense with one of the league's most dangerous passing attacks. The Steelers have had a defense and a running game for over a decade now, but they haven't had a QB since Bradshaw. Is it just me, or does Ben Roethlisberger look even better than last season?

2. Indianapolis Colts [2] — The defense looks good, but it's got an obvious hole: size. Dwight Freeney, Larry Tripplett, Cato June, and Nick Harper are all on my short list of Pro Bowl contenders, and they're all small and fast. That speed is clearly paying off, but the corresponding vulnerability is run defense. This weekend, Jacksonville averaged 5.3 yards per carry, including 110 yards on 19 carries by RBs Fred Taylor and Greg Jones. I also don't know whether to worry that the Colts had such a close game at home, or praise them for refusing to lose in a tight game when they were arguably outplayed. That's Bill Belichick-ish.

3. New England Patriots [3] — Lost a game they could have won. Take out two fumbles and 12 penalties (that's 19 already this season) and it's an even game, at least. Those things won't happen most weeks (although the penalties are alarming), and neither will special teams disasters like Chris Gamble's 76-yard punt return. What does concern me is the rushing game. Corey Dillon has fewer than 100 rushing yards in 2005, with a 2.7 average, and the Pats had only one rushing first down against Carolina. Standout guard Joe Andruzzi left this offseason, and I think the team misses him. There are also injuries in the defensive backfield again, so New England's hold on this spot is tenuous.

4. Philadelphia Eagles [5] — Drawing dramatic conclusions from the farce against San Francisco would be just as foolish as drawing them from the Week 1 loss to Atlanta, but I have a feeling the team we saw this week was a lot closer to the real Eagles. I did see this game, which everyone knew was going to be a stinker. The NFL's television contracts are ridiculous.

5. Kansas City Chiefs [6] — With Oakland loading up to stop the run, the passing game should have had more success. Trent Green started slowly last season, too, but homefield advantage is crucial in the AFC playoffs, and the Chiefs can't afford to give away games early in the season, especially with tough matches at Denver and against Philadelphia coming up. The defense looked okay against the Raiders, but I would have liked to see them put more pressure on Kerry Collins. Rookie OLB Derrick Johnson is off to a great start.

6. Carolina Panthers [9] — Offensively, Sunday's game against New England left something to be desired. Jake Delhomme completed under half his passes, Stephen Davis averaged barely three yards per carry, and no one other than Steve Smith has caught more than four passes this season. Keary Colbert has only two catches for 11 yards, and Rod Gardner hasn't even had a pass thrown at him. This offense has to get a little more dynamic if I'm going to stop feeling stupid for picking them to win Super Bowl XL.

7. Atlanta Falcons [4] — The third through seventh positions were really tight this week, and Atlanta is at the bottom basically on Michael Vick's questionable health. If there's a lot of movement among these five teams in next week's rankings, don't be surprised. The Falcons punted on all five of their first-half possessions and went into halftime down 21-0, which is especially hard to come back from when you don't have a passing game.

8. Cincinnati Bengals [15] — We know the pieces are there on offense, and judging from the seven-turnover performance against Minnesota, the defense is in pretty good shape, too. Marvin Lewis deserves a tremendous amount of credit for what he is doing with this team, and I think chatty WR Chad Johnson may actually be a little underrated.

9. Tampa Bay Buccaneers [12] — Cadillac Williams has more rushing yards through the first two games of his career than anyone but Alan Ameche, O.J. Anderson, William Andrews, or Billy Sims. Ameche played only six seasons before an injury ended his career. Andrews was a star for five seasons before injuries brought his career to a premature end. Sims lasted five years, as well. That leaves Anderson alone on the "healthy" list. Williams has already sprained a foot.

10. Jacksonville Jaguars [13] — I didn't see the game, so I'm not sure why they didn't run more, or how they managed six fumbles with none lost, and eight receivers with under 50 yards each. I haven't seen an injury report on John Henderson, but if he misses any time, it will show.

11. Buffalo Bills [10] — The loss against Tampa was a team effort. The offense managed to average under three yards per play, the defense watched Williams run for 128 yards and a 5.3 average, and the 18-minute time of possession deficit can justly be blamed on both.

12. New York Jets [14] — Curtis Martin has been an unusually healthy guy throughout his career, but even if his injury ends up being a factor, I don't understand all the whining about Lamont Jordan being gone. Derrick Blaylock isn't exactly chopped liver. Which is good, because chopped liver is gross.

13. Baltimore Ravens [7] — New power rankings rule: teams in the top 10 must have an offense. That means Washington and Baltimore are both out. On Sunday, the Ravens had no rushing first downs and Jamal Lewis gained 10 yards on nine carries. And yes, that included a long of 13. His other eight carries went for -3.

14. New York Giants [20] — I like the defense and Tiki Barber and their chances against the Rams in Week 4. I think they're about 50-50 at San Diego next week, so take the underdog. Oddly enough, that will probably be the 2-0 team, not the 0-2.

15. Seattle Seahawks [19] — Almost managed to give away the game in the fourth quarter, which was this team's hobby last year. There is so much talent on this roster, and there's no heart. They could lose at home to Arizona next week and it wouldn't surprise anyone. Seattle has a relatively easy schedule before December, so if they're serious about the playoffs, they need some more wins the next few weeks.

16. Detroit Lions [11] — Joey Harrington isn't going to throw five interceptions again all season, but he has to hear about it for two weeks while Detroit is on its bye.

17. Washington Redskins [22] — I don't understand why everyone is so fussy about the quarterback change. Does it even matter which guy is in there? This team lives and dies with its defense.

18. Dallas Cowboys [17] — I would be really curious to know the last time Drew Bledsoe wasn't sacked and his team still lost. You know who doesn't impress me? Roy Williams.

19. San Diego Chargers [18] — Lost at the end of the game for the second week in a row. I like Marty Schottenheimer, but his track record in clutch situations is decidedly subpar. Interestingly, Schottenheimer's most famous disciples, Bill Cowher and Tony Dungy, have also been accused of choking and/or having problems in big games. Their teams are 1-2 in my rankings this week, and I'm not sure what that means.

20. Denver Broncos [23] — Yeah, they're behind a team they just beat. It was a home game and a last-second win. Where's the running game?

21. New Orleans Saints [16] — Did you see Jim Haslett's interview after the game Monday night? I don't even know what to say. They're going to have a very challenging season.

22. Minnesota Vikings [8] — Based on the first two weeks, they could be 32nd. No one has been worse so far this season. But the personnel is so good that I'm not ready to give up on them. On paper, Minnesota is the best team in the league. The weakest point, and I think this is a major problem, is the offensive line, which has traditionally been a strength. Center Matt Birk is injured, and guard David Dixon, who missed only two games the previous seven seasons (a streak that extended beyond the team's record-setting 1998 campaign), retired. That shakes a team up. If the Vikes lose to New Orleans by double-digits next week, I'll rank them in the 30s.

23. Oakland Raiders [27] — Couldn't catch a break from the officials. The Randy Moss TD in the second quarter was the big one, but what about the pass interference call against Stanford Routt a couple drives later? Sterling Sharpe correctly noted that the ball was uncatchable, and the call should have been a five-yard illegal contact instead of a 35-yard interference. Sharpe was very good, and I hope he and Mike Tirico will call more games in the future.

24. St. Louis Rams [26] — Steven Jackson had a nice game, and that's really the only nice thing I can say without bringing up Torry Holt. The defense's four sacks don't impress me because Kurt Warner dropped back 47 times, and he's one of the most sack-prone players in the league.

25. Miami Dolphins [21] — Nick Saban is getting a lot of credit for getting Miami thinking it can win again. Which is pretty much the same thing Jim Bates did when he was interim coach last season. The Dolphins under Bates went 3-4, with every loss against a team with a winning record.

26. Tennessee Titans [29] — The announcers really did their homework in this one. During the game, Rich Baldinger called Kyle Vanden Bosch "Van Boesch" (with a long O) and later "Van Boeschen." He also referred to Baltimore's star CB as Tim McAlister. Albert Haynesworth, whose name was not mispronounced during the broadcast, left the game in the second half, and the Titans need him healthy.

27. Cleveland Browns [31] — I saw this game. I spent the whole first quarter trying to figure out why CBS was showing Cleveland/Green Bay. I never did figure it out, but here are my two guesses: one, Reggie White's jersey was being retired; two, Brett Favre was playing. But you don't choose a game based on the halftime ceremony, and Favre certainly doesn't outweigh a key divisional matchup like Broncos/Chargers or Jets/Dolphins.

28. Chicago Bears [32] — I admit it's unlikely, but Chicago could actually score fewer points in all its remaining games combined than it did against Detroit on Sunday. Well, not really, but the offense is still awful.

29. Green Bay Packers [24] — The biggest problem is still the defense, but Green Bay lost both its starting guards this offseason, and it's got to be an issue.

30. Arizona Cardinals [28] — Three years ago, 2002 season, Rams at Washington: St. Louis is down 20-17, but has the ball in the red zone near the end of the game. The Rams have a great chance at a touchdown, and otherwise they'll go to OT with a chip-shot field goal. Warner drops back, holds the ball, gets sacked, fumbles, Washington recovers. Game. The end of this Sunday's contest reminded me of that.

31. Houston Texans [25] — Firing Chris Palmer might make sense, but shouldn't you send offensive line coach Joe Pendry packing with him, rather than promoting Pendry to fill Palmer's position? I know this isn't exactly original insight, but really, the line allowed eight sacks on Sunday.

32. San Francisco 49ers [30] — Ah, one glorious week out of last place.

Posted by Brad Oremland at 5:29 PM | Comments (0)

September 19, 2005

I Hate Mondays: Arrivederci Mariucci

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Pssst ... I got a real good tip for you:

The Detroit Lions are a sleeper team this year — keep an eye on them, they'll make a run for the NFC North title.

Not.

They might be making a run, but after a 36-8 bludgeoning at the hands of the Chicago Bears on Sunday, it's pretty obvious that they are running in the wrong direction.

But if you are at all familiar with the team, then you know that it has been this way for a little while now.

They haven't finished higher than third in their division since 1995 and have only posted two winning seasons in that span.

Not even head coach Steve Mariucci, who took over after a housecleaning in 2003, has been able to mold this run-of-the-mill unit into a winner, as the team is 12-22 during his tenure.

It's time for him to go.

As a coach, it is your job to extract the most out of your roster and he has completely failed in that aspect.

First, there was no quarterback. Enter Joey Harrington. Then there was no running back. Enter Kevin Jones. Then Joey needed weapons. Enter Charles Rogers, Roy Williams, Mike Williams, and Marcus Pollard.

The results:

An offense that ranked 32nd in 2003 and 24th in 2004. The same offense that mustered a total of only six points on Sunday and labored to reach 17 points against a porous Green Bay Packers defense the previous week.

After Green Bay allowed 26 points at home to the Cleveland Browns, the 17 points that Detroit tallied arduously — at home — doesn't really impress.

Is this what five top-flight first-round picks gets you nowadays?

Something tells me Bill Belichick or John Fox would reap better production out of this group.

But the talent hasn't only poured in through early rounds of the draft, each offseason the Lions have added talented free agents such as Dre Bly, Fernando Bryant, Damien Woody, Kennoy Kennedy, R.W. McQuarters, and Earl Holmes. The output is not commensurate to the caliber of players on this team.

Normally, when a team is in disarray, the coach is quickly put on the hot seat, so why shouldn't Mooch start to feel the pressure?

Sure, they are only 1-1 in 2005 and the season has yet to finish the second week of play, but it is pretty clear that this will not be a championship team. Even a playoff appearance is a stretch for this underachiever.

No team ever dreads playing the Lions. All they are is a world of potential that continues to be nothing more than a declawed kitty cat.

They have gifted athletes at all the skill positions, but they lack the mental toughness to be considered seriously. Usually, that type of attitude seeps down from the coach.

Take the Cincinnati Bengals, for example — they are quite possibly the Lions’ AFC equivalent. They also used to be a perennial loser and had several high first-round draft picks, but under head coach Marvin Lewis, who also took over at the start of the 2003 season, they have developed into a serious hazard on everyone's schedule.

The Bengals have gone from a team that used to discover novel ways to lose winnable football games to a team who will pounce on miscues and take advantage. They don't beat themselves anymore, they beat the opponent.

The Lions are still working on that concept and they are still dependent on their foe's mistakes to take control of a game. If they can't force any turnovers, then they usually struggle.

So who do you blame when the on-field ability is present, but the results are not coming in? Obviously, the coach.

They play with little intensity and need a kick in the behind to get motivated. If Mariucci isn't doing that, then they should hire somebody who will.

The Detroit Lions and the playoffs mix like Mondays and me.

"Ah, women. They make the highs higher and the lows more frequent." – Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

Don't miss next week's installment of "I Hate Mondays," sponsored by CyberSportsbook.com, a great sportsbook for horse racing and casino action!

Posted by Dave Golokhov at 5:02 PM | Comments (1)

September 17, 2005

Chief Umpire of the Supreme Court

A former owner of the Texas Rangers is in the White House.

Rafael Palmeiro and Sammy Sosa have testified before Congress.

And now, a potential Chief Justice of the Supreme Court thinks he's John Hirschbeck or Eric Gregg.

Is this what they meant by baseball returning to our Nation's Capital this year?

Metaphorically, baseball and politics are a perfect marriage — a sport that still trades off its legacy as America's Pastime, years after football toppled it from that throne, and a profession where survival depends on how well one exploits a superfluous façade of patriotism-masking-capitalism like the Old Ballgame.

Baseball is everywhere in the political process. Throwing out the first pitch at a local ballpark is as much a part of campaigning as smooching stinky toddlers. New York senatorial candidates declare their diamond allegiances before their party affiliations.

And then there's the Democratic Party, which has gone 0-for-2 and has no balls...

This week, it was Judge John Roberts — nominated by President Bush as the next Chief Justice of the Supreme Court — who mixed baseball with political discourse. Naturally, the career politicians on the Senate Judiciary Committee stuck to the analogy like a public hair on a cola can.

In his opening remarks to the committee during his conformation hearing, Roberts compared the humility of a judge to the selflessness of a baseball umpire:

"My personal appreciation that I owe a great debt to others reinforces my view that a certain humility should characterize the judicial role. Judges and justices are servants of the law, not the other way around.

Judges are like umpires. Umpires don't make the rules; they apply them. The role of an umpire and a judge is critical. They make sure everybody plays by the rules. But it is a limited role. Nobody ever went to a ballgame to see the umpire."

(That last line nearly undoes the entire analogy, unless Roberts momentarily forgot about judges Judy, Wapner, Joe Brown, and whoever the dude on "Texas Justice" is.)

Let's examine this statement. "Umpires don't make the rules; they apply them." For the most part, accurate. But the proper term is "interpret" them, especially when it comes to the strike zone. Judges can look back on decades of legal precedents to formulate an appropriate ruling and, many times, are bound by those precedents.

Umpires also have decades of rulings to fall back on — but in the end, it comes down to whatever zone they choose to establish in a given at-bat. Hence, major league strike zones are like snowflakes and assholes — everyone's got one, and they're all different.

(I'm making an educated guess on the latter example. One, because it sounded funny and, two, because they really don't pay me enough to check my facts in this instance.)

Sen. Joe Biden really wants to be president, but he took time out of his campaign speech to ask Roberts about the entire umpire/judge/strike zone conundrum during his questioning at the hearing:

"As you know, in Major League Baseball, they have a rule. Rule two defines the strike zone. It basically says from the shoulders to the knees. And the only question about judges is: do they have good eyesight or not? They don't get to change the strike zone. They don't get to say, 'That was down around the ankles and I think it was a strike.' They don't get to do that."

Biden continued, saying that certain "strikes zones" are established by the Constitution, while others are not:

"As you pointed out in the question to Senator Hatch, I think, you said unreasonable search and seizure. What constitutes unreasonable?

So, as much as I respect your metaphor, it's not very apt, because you get to determine the strike zone. What's unreasonable?

Your strike zone on reasonable/unreasonable may be very different than another judge's view of what is reasonable or unreasonable search and seizure."

And now we see the basic difference between umpires and Supreme Court justices: instead of reshaping the strike zone during each game, Roberts will have the ability to define what a "strike" in fact is. In other words, if a batter misses with a Herculean swing, it's going to be called a strike — unless someone in a position of power changes what a swing-and-a-miss constitutes. With one ruling, it could mean a walk instead of a 'K.'

Oh dear! Would that be "legislating from the bench?" Perish the thought!

"Legislating from the bench" has become one of those ugly talking-point slurs in the last few years, like "liberal" or "fundamentalist" or "French-looking." I've always viewed the American courts system as a series of checks and balances on the maturation of society. While elected officials serve their financial and electoral masters, appointed judges serve the greater good. (Although sometimes they sacrifice their livelihoods to get a six-ton stone monument of Jesus reading the 10 Commandments erected in front of the courthouse.)

I know my view of the American legal system is Pollyannaish. But no more so that Roberts's view of what a judge does:

Judges have to have the humility to recognize that they operate within a system of precedent, shaped by other judges equally striving to live up to the judicial oath."

What nonsense. How many judges have used their own personal biases to rule in sensitive cases? How many have ruled one way or another because the person who hired them ... er, "appointed" them ... wanted to reinforce or demolish a legal precedent?

When Clarence Thomas is in chorus with Antonin Scalia like Roxy Hart sitting on Billy Flynn's knee in "Chicago," is his main concern "living up to the judicial oath" or ensuring that party will always trump precedent?

When a judge awards a life-long smoker $100 billion in damages because Joe Camel had a poorly-worded disclaimer on its magic cancer injectors, isn't that just unmitigated revenge on a disreputable industry instead of sound legal reasoning?

I think the biggest flaw in Roberts' s umpire analogy comes when one considers the basic difference between baseball and society: one is constant, and one is constantly changing.

Modern-day baseball is going to be the baseball we have 50 years from now: nine innings, four balls, three strikes, two teams, one pitcher, and one batter.

Who the hell knows what the world's going to look like in 50 years? Who knows what progressive ideas in culture and industry are going to shape American life? Whatever they are, it's going to take judges who aren't just willing to fall back on "traditional" precedents to move us forward. We need judges, at every level, with an equal respect for the law and for humanity.

Sen. Herb Kohl of Wisconsin said it best during the confirmation hearing:

"No two umpires or no two referees have the same strike zone or call the same kind of a basketball game. And ballplayers and basketball players understand that depending upon who the umpire is and who the referee is, the game can be called entirely differently.

When we look at real legal cases, I wonder whether or not your analogy works. For example, in our private conversation, I asked you whether the words of the Constitution must always be interpreted in the same way as the authors originally intended.

For example, the Fourteenth Amendment, which guarantees equal protection under the laws to all citizens, was written at a time when schools were in fact segregated based on race.

And yet, in Brown v. Board of Education, the equal protection clause was interpreted to find segregated schools unconstitutional. And you, of course, have endorsed that decision.

No one disagrees with that conclusion today, but would a neutral umpire, as you described yourself yesterday, have decided back in 1954 to expand the words of the Constitution outside of the strike zone? Would a neutral umpire have overturned a 58-year-old Supreme Court precedent and gone against the understanding of the authors of the Fourteenth Amendment and also the views of almost half of the state legislatures at that time in making the decision that they made?"

Get Me Off This Train

I don't drink Coors. I'm not a beer snob — I have a tasty Miller Lite in front of me right now, and sixer of that costs less than a movie ticket — but Coors, to me, tastes like watered-down Bud, which is really saying something.

At the very least, Coors always seemed to understand that if your product sucks, the very least you can do is completely toss your ethics out the window to sell the swill.

Call it "the silver bullet" in a Brady Bill age.

Hire ESPN "journalists" to pimp the beer.

And TWWWWWWWWINNNS!

Hot, blonde, sexy twins, gyrating to an Adam Sandler-esque theme song whose lyrics could be boiled down to:

"I
love
football on TV
Lethal Weapon 3
Base solos by Flea
AND TWWWWWWWWINNNS!"

Perfect. There's no reason to change the gameplan. You've executed it to the best of your ability.

But no, Coors couldn't leave well enough alone. Now we get what has to be the single worst beer commercial I've ever seen on a football telecast: The Coors Love Train.

The O'Jays are awesome, and "Love Train" is an awesome song. But a magic choo-choo that makes hot people feel chilly? Isn't that, like, every breath mint commercial ever made?

I expect more from my beer commercials. Derail the Love Train now!

Greg Wyshynski is the Features Editor for SportsFan Magazine in Washington, DC, and the Senior Sports Editor for The Connection Newspapers of Northern Virginia. His book "Glow Pucks and 10-Cent Beer: The 101 Worst Ideas in Sports History" will be published in Spring 2006. His columns appear every Saturday on Sports Central. You can e-mail Greg at [email protected].

Posted by Greg Wyshynski at 5:29 PM | Comments (0)

September 16, 2005

Sox Take a Look in Rearview

If the Boston Red Sox thought they could just cruise into the playoffs without getting a fight from the Evil Empire, they'd better think again. Darth Steinbrenner and his $200 million dollar-plus payroll came knocking on the door in the AL East Friday morning.

With a loss Thursday at home in Fenway to the Oakland Athletics, and a come-from-behind win by the Yankees in St. Petersburg, the Yankees are only a game and a half out of the AL East and a half game out of the wildcard. Wasn't it just about a week or two ago that everyone including yours truly had written off the Yankees for dead? Well, I guess I should clarify here, I was hoping the Yankees were dead. I feared that their bats would come alive as they have now.

The Yankees defended their homefield last weekend with perhaps their last chance to take a stab at the defending champs and they drew blood. They proved that they could beat Boston even with the torn-up staff that they have. Randy Johnson pitched a masterful 1-0 win over Tim Wakefield. And even without the aid of alleged "ace" Mike Mussina (elbow tendonitis), rookie sensation Aaron Small was able to step up and defeat Boomer in another game. Curt Schilling showed shades of last year's postseason as he went eight innings giving up only two runs when he beat Shawn Chacon to salvage at least a game in the series.

So what has gone wrong for the Red Sox these last couple of weeks that have allowed the Yankees to creep oh-so-close once again. For one thing, the Sox have tradition working against them. The Yankees have won the AL East every year from 1998-2004 and they also won it in '94 (unofficial due to the strike) and '96. The Red Sox last won the AL East in 1995 and before that, 1990.

But we can't forget what's happened the last few seasons in the playoffs. For many Major League Baseball franchises entering the playoffs division championships have not always led to World Series championships. The last four World Series champs have been wildcard winners, including the Sox last season.

The biggest thing working against the Sox this season is their lack of a go to pitcher down the stretch. The Yankees are having the same problem and that's why they've been so inconsistent all season. But if you look at the Big Unit's numbers, especially recently, he is becoming their go-to guy. Since July, Johnson is 7-3 with an ERA of 3.49 and has 94 strikeouts. Overall, he's 14-8 this season with an ERA under four. He ranks seventh in wins, and second in both strikeouts and complete games.

Schilling, since coming off of his ankle surgery, has been anything but a go-to-guy. This season Schilling is 6-8 with an ERA of 6.20. His stint in the bullpen was equally shaky. He hasn't had his "ace" stuff of a year ago when he went 21-6. He looks more like that ALCS Game 1 when he was rocked in Yankees Stadium.

However, Schilling has had moments where he's looked like his old self. Last weekend was a perfect example against the Yankees when he lasted a season-high eight innings striking out six while hurling 105 pitches.

But then there are games like the one against Oakland Thursday night where he is an absolute enigma. The A's started off the game with three-straight hits against Schilling. He threw 67 pitches in the first three innings, and 115 pitches in 6.2 while giving up 11 hits.

In watching the games, you can't help to notice that Schilling just doesn't have the same zip on his fastball. And when he doesn't have hitters fearing his fastball, he's not going to be able to dominate with his breaking balls and off-speed stuff. And it's not just his velocity on the fastball that he's lacking. Schilling is missing his location on his fastball many times, as well. And the result is what you saw on Thursday and what you've been seeing most of the season: a shelling.

The Sox knew coming into this season that Schilling was going to miss some significant time due to his ankle injury that everybody in the entire world is completely tired of hearing about. The FOX network covered the infamous "bloody sock" more than they did the actual game. I've never seen so many close-ups of a blood-drenched sock and I hope I never do again.

With that knowledge, Theo Epstein went out and tried to reload for another run at the championship. He brought in Matt Clement, David Wells, held on to Wakefield, and let 30 wins go in the form of Pedro Martinez and Derek Lowe. Clement and Wells have been sufficient, especially Clement who has shown he may be able to be an ace in the near future. But in September, your team must have an ace now and the Sox do not.

Lucky for them, they have one of the most formidable lineups in baseball, led by the two-headed monster that are their three and four hitters. Over the last two seasons, Manny Ramirez and David "Big Pap" Ortiz have combined for 161 home runs and an astounding 522 RBI. The two have absolutely destroyed AL pitching since being put back to back in the order.

And if you've got any sense at all, you've got to vote Big Papi the MVP of this season. Ortiz is the first Sock since Carl Yastrzemski to post back-to-back 40 home run seasons. Papi leads the league in RBI with 131, he's third in homeruns with 42, and he has more clutch hits than anybody this season. Seventeen of his homers have either tied or given Boston the lead this season. No one is more valuable to their team in terms of performance. If you take Ortiz's bat out of this lineup, the Sox would be a few games back fighting for the wildcard.

However, in the clubhouse and to the Boston pitching staff, there is one person more valuable than Papi. That person is the first Boston team captain since Yaz, catcher Jason Varitek. His verbal and exemplary leadership skills may have been what got the Red Sox their World Series championship a year ago. Some say his glove punch into pretty boy Alex Rodriguez's face is what sparked the turn-around in the middle of last season. His handling of the pitching staff (outside of Tim Wakefield, of course) is unparalleled. And he's earned his money from his contract this season, his numbers are right on course with his career averages: .284, 21 dongs, and 66 runs batted-in.

Johnny Damon has also been a big contributor again this season. The man who still resembles "Cirroc, Unfrozen Caveman Lawyer" has followed up his 94 RBI season with another stellar .320, 9 homer, 72 RBI year. Some have even put him in the race for MVP. And he's not just doing it with the bat, either. His glove is one of the best in the majors at centerfield, and his leaping and running grabs have delighted the Boston faithful. He might have to calm his acrobatics in the field, however, as he is just coming off of an injury to his left rotator cuff.

My predictions for the remainder of the Red Sox season may not delight the faithful as much as their beloved hipster. Boston has four series left after they finish this series with Oakland. They face the Devil Rays for three, a depleted Baltimore team for three, Toronto for four, and they end with the Yankees in a three-game series at home against the Yankees that could decide the AL East.

With that schedule, there's no reason the champs shouldn't be back in the playoffs. However, that doesn't mean that they'll go back to the World Series. Last season, the Sox had four pitchers that could shut you down on any given night in October: Schilling, Pedro, Lowe, and Wakefield. Their bullpen was lights-out, as well, with Keith Foulke shutting everyone down in the ALCS and World Series. This year, their most dependable pitcher in the rotation and/or the bullpen is Mike Timlin. That's not a good sign.

I don't think the Sox make it out of the ALCS this year. I think the Angels (if they get in) have a chance to knock them out, and I hate to say it, but if the Yanks get in they have a great shot to beat the Sox, too. They just don't have the guns to come out and shut down the high-powered offenses this year like they did last year.

However, if Schilling can return to form before October and a guys like Matt Clement and David Wells can step it up in the clutch, they could be right back where they were. Because it's been proven, look at the Cardinals/Sox World Series of last season, good pitching beats good hitting.

Posted by Chris Cornell at 5:45 PM | Comments (2)

Searching the Wreckage For Clues

Ah, the aftermath of Week 1 in the National Football League. Kickoff Weekend, as usual, was chock-full-o overzealous optimists punching their tickets to the Super Bowl, overreacting pessimists setting fire to their favorite jerseys, yellow-hankie waving by the men in stripes, and various and sundry overblown pre-game festivities, excluding those paying homage to our military heroes, 9/11 memories, and Hurricane Katrina victims.

As the dust settles this time each and every year, passing premature judgment on the events that have been witnessed mere hours earlier becomes almost pandemic, as every Monday Morning Quarterback with a computer keyboard and access to an online chat room sees fit to analyze everything from the opening kickoff through the vendor's tone and tenor as he peddles his wares up and down the stadium's aisles.

I'm here to tell you that I am not one of the Monday Morning QBs to which I refer. In fact, I wrote this article on Wednesday, and I don't have much of an arm at all, so quarterbacking is out of the question. But I do have a keyboard and, while this isn't exactly a chat room, we do have a very fine and popular message board here at Sports Central. As such, I've got some opinions and would be soing the public a grave disservice if I left them bottled up in my rickety ol' brain, so here are my thoughts on the NFL's first weekend of games and the resulting chatter that has littered the airwaves.

Somebody needs to tell John Madden that the "Tom Brady Foot Cam" is an awful idea. While Brady is surely a gifted winner, I can't even imagine how seeing this has made my football-watching experience even the least bit more enhanced (not to mention the poor camera-man that drew the "your camera is to be focused in on Brady's feet" straw from the pre-game assignment pool). Mr. Madden, I welcomed into my Sunday's (and now Monday's) your "booms" and your chicken scratches on the telustrator, heck, I even accept your hour-long gushes on everything Brett Favre, but I draw the line at fawning over another man's footwork.

No matter how many people tell you this between now and next Sunday, the Indianapolis Colts did nothing this weekend to prove they are any bit closer to the Super Bowl than they have been the past two seasons. Perfecting "[Tony] Dungy's system" on defense, the acquisition of Corey Simon, the planets aligning — none of this created the dominating defensive performance we witnessed on Sunday night. That was a direct product of Kyle Boller, Jamal Lewis, and a deteriorated offensive line. If they shut down Leftwich and Co., well, then we'll have something. But until then, take this win for what it was, the exposing of one of the monumentally bad offenses of our generation.

Since we're on the subject, the Colts, as presently constituted, will never win an NFL title. Show me one team that has won the big game without dominating linebackers — just one team ... exactly. It is a little-publicized fact — but it just doesn't happen.

Kudos to the 49ers, Buccaneers, Cowboys, Lions, and my beloved Dolphins. All these teams had six wins or less last season and managed to knock off a playoff team from a year ago in their first foray into the 2005 season. Yes, it is quite impressive to see these teams return, if even for the short-term, from embarrassing 2004 seasons. But, no, none of these teams figure to be hoisting a trophy anytime soon. And, yes, Cowboy fans, this includes you.

As a Dolphin fan, the only coach I worshiped more than Nick Saban on Monday was Dick Vermeil. Don't tell my wife, but the J-E-T-S, Jets, Jets, Jets getting exposed like that almost trumps my wedding day and the birth of my children as my life's most cherished days. That's the good news. The bad news is those Jets have the Dolphins next weekend — there's nothing like a chip on the shoulder in a rivalry game. It could get very ugly in week two for my 'Fins, and it usually does when Jay Fiedler is anywhere near the Fish.

Steelers halfback Willie Parker looked spectacular on Sunday. Temper your enthusiasm for the young runner, though. Pittsburgh was playing the Titans, and that fact should not be lost on anybody. So to summarize, Willie Parker is not a shoe-in for greatness in the NFL — he is a solid, quick back who tore apart a monumentally weak defensive unit and he's much more Rueben Droughns than he is Emmitt Smith.

I would be remiss not to include the New Orleans Saints' inspiring win in this column, so this little tidbit is meant to serve just that purpose. Very well done, Jim Haslett and staff. Preparing your team under such trying circumstances is not an easy task and you really came through for your suffering fan base in bringing even just a modicum of light to an otherwise dark situation.

Speaking of those Saints, Aaron Brooks really showed a lot against Carolina in quarterbacking his team to a win. Captain Inconsistency, as I like to call him, was as accurate and quick with his reads as he's been through his entire career. Let me be one of the first onto that bandwagon in telling the masses that if Brooks is that good all season long, the New Orleans Saints are going to have an incredible year. It is worth noting, however, that the very definition of inconsistency (relative to football, of course) is to be remarkable one week and horrible the next, and Mr. Brooks didn't earn his nickname by traveling the straight and narrow path in his career exploits.

Did I mention how bad the Jets looked in Kansas City? I did? Oh well, guess I'll mention it again.

ESPN's Sunday morning primer to the NFL sure has changed since the good old days. Used to be, ESPN's NFL Game Day was full of hard-hitting insight and unprecedented all-around coverage highlighting the afternoon's games. These days we are subjected to two solid hours of Steve Young flexing his linguistic muscles, Chris Berman jumping on the nearest bandwagon, and Michael Irving attempting to dominate the stage through constant interruptions, grandiose statements, and soft interviews with his drinking buddies.

The only voice of reason seems to be Tommy Jackson — and since we're on the subject, has anyone else noticed that it looks like T.J.'s head's going to explode at least five times a week during that show? This once-proud institution for football pre-game shows now is little more than a distraction to the serious football fan, and I'd almost rather watch Terry Bradshaw flash his Super Bowl rings to Howie Long than sit through 17 weeks of awkward Kenny Mayne bits.

Kerry Collins has had an interesting career. There was the unlikely run through the playoffs he led the expansion Panthers on. There was the quitting on that same group of Carolina players. There was the saddening and maddening bout with alcoholism. There was the heroic victory over that disease. There was the low point in New Orleans when his receivers couldn't catch colds, much less his passes. And now there's Oakland and Randy Moss — a new life, many would say.

But if you watched Thursday's opening night game against New England, you saw an exposed Collins. He looked rushed, unsure of himself, and confused focusing in on only the great Randy Moss in eschewing his other receivers almost completely. Yes, the Raider QB has unbelievable arm strength and a knack for the big play, but his poise and accuracy were shockingly non-existent in week one, and either he and Randy sat down pre-game and celebrated a blue moon, or the aging Collins is beginning to show signs of wear from the regular battering he has absorbed in recent years.

Did anybody else think Brett Favre finally looked old in his game against the underrated Lions? Madden's all-time favorite tough guy at QB had to endure a terrifyingly inconsistent performance from his offensive line and may wind up hospitalized by Week 6. No disrespect intended to one of the game's greatest at his position, but perhaps Favre should look into life after football — especially considering he's closing in on Dan Marino's touchdown record and none of us want that to happen. Okay, maybe that's just me...

Not to hammer on the Jets, but couldn't it be justified that we witnessed one of the worst performances on opening day by a team in recent history this past weekend in K.C.? Okay, that was meant to hammer on the Jets.

Unlike baseball, football statistics lie. Over the prolonged course of a typical baseball season, averages and other measures of performance tend to even themselves out. Rarely do we have more than a handful of performances that we just plain did not expect in baseball. In football, however, we have many such performances each and every week. Just ask Willie Parker, Gus Frerotte, and Anthony Henry.

Smart money says none of that trio will match their week one performances in weeks to come. Still smarter money says another set of no-names will put up similar performances next week. But the smartest money says that the more we know, the less we understand, especially in football, and if it were any different we wouldn't love the sport as we do.

One final set of items to cover as I pay tribute to you fantasy geeks out there…I guess I should say we fantasy geeks out there, as I'm certainly firmly ensconced in that pop-culture phenomenon. I give you a quick and dirty summary of whom you should play and who should be avoided in Week 2...

Put Me in, Coach!

Quarterbacks — Mike Vick (vs. SEA), Trent Green (vs. OAK), Kurt Warner (vs. St.L)
Running backs — Jamal Lewis (vs. TEN), Rudi Johnson (vs. MIN), Ahman Green (vs. CLE), Brian Westbrook (vs. SF)
Wide receivers — Terrell Owens (vs. SF), Marty Booker (vs. N.Y.Jets), Plaxico Burress (vs. N.O.)
Tight ends — Alge Crumpler (vs. SEA), Jason Witten (vs. WAS), Tony Gonzalez (vs. OAK)
Defense — Dallas (vs. WAS), Detroit (vs. CHI), San Diego (vs. DEN)

Maybe Next Week

Quarterbacks — Tom Brady (vs. CAR), Brian Griese (vs. BUF), Joey Harrington (vs. CHI)
Running backs Curtis Martin (vs. MIA), Priest Holmes/Larry Johnson (vs. OAK), Edgerrin James (vs. JAX), Willie Parker (vs. HOU)
Wide receivers — Drew Bennett (vs. BAL), Lee Evans (vs. T.B.), Roy Williams (vs. CHI)
Tight ends — Marcus Pollard (vs. CHI), Alex Smith (vs. BUF), Chris Baker (vs. MIA)
Defense— Miami (vs. NY Jets), Jacksonville (vs. IND), Carolina (vs. NE)

Good luck in your fantasy leagues!

Posted by Matt Thomas at 5:26 PM | Comments (0)

September 15, 2005

Another Exciting Weekend in Store

And we thought there were some good games last weekend...

This weekend in college football has a number of what we hope to be dynamite games on the schedule. At least that's the way they shape up on paper but, as they say, "that's why they play the games."

Fortunately for me, I had the opportunity to watch parts of several games — probably the most college football I've watched in one day other than during bowl season in years. And did I ever pick a good weekend to see a bunch of exciting games: Notre Dame upsetting Michigan in the Big House, Oregon State holding off Boise State, South Carolina giving Georgia all it could handle, the classic in the Horseshoe between Ohio State and Texas, and LSU winning a close, emotional game at Arizona State. And those were just the games on TV in my area.

This week promises to be just as good as there appears to be 10 games that look to be barnburners, or at least have the potential to be. Here they are, in no particular order.

(1) Southern Cal vs. Arkansas — The Razorbacks are hungry to prove themselves after a disappointing loss to Vanderbilt last week. USC is coming off a bye and are 31-point favorites at home. Arkansas might be able to keep this one semi-close.

(5) Tennessee at (6) Florida — Two conference rivals both ranked in the top 10 always makes for a great game. This is a huge early season SEC matchup.

(8) Florida State at (17) Boston College — Welcome to the ACC, Eagles. The Seminoles moved to the front of the conference with its big win over Miami a couple of weeks ago, but BC would like to show that being a Big East castoff doesn't mean they're not that good.

(10) Notre Dame vs. Michigan State — Is Charlie Weis and the Irish for real? We'll find out as they play their first home game of the year against the team that's historically had the most success at Notre Dame Stadium. Plus, the Spartans are 2-0, even though it's against weak opponents.

(11) Louisville vs. Oregon State — This game should display some September fireworks as both teams sport high-powered offenses and little else. The Cardinals are two-touchdown favorites, but the Beavers actually have some semblance of a defense as they showed in stopping Boise State last week.

(13) Miami at (20) Clemson — Although this ACC matchup doesn't have the flair of the FSU/BC game, it will either thrust Miami back into the spotlight or insert the Tigers in their place. By the way, the Hurricanes are touchdown favorites on the road.

(21) Oklahoma at UCLA — The Sooners struggled for much of their game against Tulsa last week, and Adrian Peterson won't start because of academic problems. Is it any surprise that the unranked Bruins are favored by nearly a touchdown at home? A win for UCLA will go a long way toward building their confidence for a tough Pac-10 schedule.

(23) Fresno State at Oregon — The Ducks are 2-0, also against weak opponents, and are picked to win at always-tough Autzen Stadium. But the Bulldogs are on a mission to prove they're a front-runner in the WAC and they're national ranking is legit.

To round out the 10 best games this week, a pair of contests between unranked opponents look very interesting.

Alabama at South Carolina — This game is another key matchup in the SEC. The Crimson Tide are slightly favored on the road against the Gamecocks. Though 'Bama hasn't looked dominating in two wins over Middle Tennessee and Southern Miss, South Carolina is a very good 1-1 team, as was evident in their near upset of Georgia last week. Nonetheless, the Tide are favored by two on the road in their first conference game.

Wisconsin at North Carolina — The Badgers, who held off high-flying Bowling Green two weeks ago and slaughtered Temple last week, roll into Chapel Hill to face the 0-1 Tar Heels. Wisconsin gets its first real test of the season as UNC nearly pulled off the upset of fellow ACC member and nationally-ranked Georgia Tech last week. Wisconsin is favored by a field goal in its first road game of the year, but this one could go either way.

I probably won't be able to watch as many games this weekend as I did last weekend, but I'll be catching up with all the scores at the end of the day. And as I do, I really hope for the sake of college football fans everywhere that I've missed a bunch of good games.

Posted by Adam Russell at 4:28 PM | Comments (2)

NFL Weekly Predictions: Week 2

The quotes in this article are fictional.

Baltimore @ Tennessee

The Ravens lost their season-opener last year, then came out in Week 2 and blistered the Steelers 30-13. After going down in Week 1 to the Colts, can the Ravens respond and get back to .500?

"You bet," says linebacker Ray Lewis. "We own the Titans. I remember the good old days when I would blow up Eddie George with a big hit. Now, they've got another running back with two first names, Travis Henry, whom I plan on blowing up in the same manner."

The Titans probably won't score against the Ravens' defense, but they do have one thing going in their favor: they also play the Ravens' offense, which may present their best chance to score. Anthony Wright will take over at QB for the Ravens, in for the injured Kyle Boller, suffering from a hyper-extended right big toe.

"I recall fondly, as a kid," says Titans' coach Jeff Fisher, "when my dad would hyperextend my big toe playing the 'This Little Piggy Went to Market' game. I don't recall it hurting, and I'm pretty sure I didn't miss a football game, or a game of 'Kick the Can,' for that matter, because of it."

"Are you saying my guy isn't tough?!" yells Ravens' coach Brian Billick.

"No, Brian," replies Fisher. "I'm saying that if Boller wants to sit one out, he should do so in true Ravens' fashion: commit a crime and get suspended by the league."

"Look, Fish," says Billick, "the only criminal behavior Kyle is capable of is quarterbacking. So, he is what we would call a 'hardened criminal.'"

The Baltimore defense comes out blazing, and score the Ravens' first TD. Tennessee can muster no semblance of offense, and the Ravens win, 24-6.

Buffalo @ Tampa Bay

While Buffalo was manhandling Houston last week, forcing five turnovers and sacking a helpless David Carr five times, the Bucs were giving the Vikings much the same treatment. Tampa Bay picked off Daunte Culpepper three times and forced two fumbles, while allowing the Minnesota rushing attack only 26 yards on 16 carries.

On offense, Tampa rookie Carnell "Cadillac" Williams rushed for 148 yards, including a 78-yard touchdown run, in making the Vikings backfield look like a car lot full of used Hyundais.

Willis McGahee, in the Bills stylish throwback uniforms, looked a lot like the pre-murderous O.J. Simpson while rushing for 117 yards last week. But he was slightly miffed when he didn't get the ball near the goal line late in the second quarter — quarterback J. P. Losman instead tossed a TD pass to tackle Jason Peters. An upset McGahee was reported to have left the stadium in a white Ford Bronco, driven by someone identified only as "A.C."

Williams and McGahee won't be able to duplicate those numbers this Sunday; defense will determine the winner of this one. Both defenses will stop the run, and it will be up to quarterbacks J.P. Losman and Brian Griese to lead their teams. That's when both offenses will run into problems. Luckily, they both have defenses that can score. And both do. Ultimately, a Matt Bryant field goal is the difference.

Tampa moves to 2-0 with a 17-16 win.

Detroit @ Chicago

When was the last time one could say this about the Lions: they are alone atop the NFC North, and they lead the NFL in scoring defense?

"You mean say that and not be called a liar?" asks Lions' coach Steve Mariucci. "This may be the last and only time I'm able to say that, so I'm going to have that tattooed across my chest."

Wow! We've got the same tattoo.

Quarterback Joey Harrington threw two touchdowns to lead the Lions over the Packers last week, but he wasn't exactly flawless. He only completed 15 of 28 passes, which just happens to be identical to the stats of Chicago QB Kyle Orton.

"But I've got an excuse," says Orton. "Well, actually two. I'm a rookie, and I play for the Bears."

When you're quarterbacking the Bears, it's all about survival. And that's all Orton can do against an improved Lions' defense. But the Bears can defend, as well, especially their home turf, and that keeps them in the game. Lions' running back Kevin Jones seals a Detroit victory with a short TD run late in the fourth. Orton tries to rattle Harrington by wearing a headband with the word "Harrington" printed on it, but Harrington produces a solid, if not spectacular, 180-yard day.

Lions win, 20-13.

Jacksonville @ Indianapolis

Last year, the Jaguars came into Indianapolis in Week 7 and upset the Colts 27-24. Should they pull that feat off this year, they will be the early leaders in the AFC South. Right, coach Jack Del Rio?

"Let me answer that with the words from the hit Steely Dan song 'Do it Again,'" says Jack Del Rio. "You go back, Jack, do it again. Wheel turnin' 'round and 'round. You go back, Jack, do it again."

Lovely tune there, Jack. But, is that a "yes?"

Indy's Peyton Manning is not worried.

"Jack Del Rio can sing, he can rap, he can yodel for all I care," quips Manning. "The Jags don't scare us. Only one team scares us, and that's the Patriots. So, every game until our November 7th loss, I mean showdown, with the Patriots is a warm-up. We know the Jags have a pretty good defense. But so did the Ravens, and we whipped them. The Colts are here to do two things: win the Super Bowl, and debunk the myth that a good defense beats a good offense. Well, maybe a good defense beats a good offense, but we're a great offense. The Jags go down."

True to his word, Manning passes for three TDs, and the Indy defense contains wide receiver Jimmy Smith to no TDs, but he does record 10 catches.

Colts win, 27-17.

Minnesota @ Cincinnati

The Vikings' Michael Bennett rushed six times last Sunday against the Buccaneers, for a net gain of minus one yard, earning him this week's "Rushing Futility Award."

"Give me a break," says Bennett. "Jerome Bettis had those same numbers in a game last year, and ended up with two touchdowns. But, never fear. The NFL is all about improvement. Sunday, against the Bengals, I plan to reach negative one yard in half the number of carries."

Aim high, young man.

The Bengals opened the season with a 27-13 win at Cleveland, and, as is usual in a Bengal victory, they did it with their Johnsons. Running back Rudi Johnson scored a TD, and Carson Palmer threw two touchdowns, one to wide receiver Jeremi Johnson.

"What?" says Palmer. "That wasn't Chad? Man, I should have something when I didn't notice any gold teeth gleaming back at me. But, on the bright side, the more Johnsons, the better."

The Vikings should find offense a little easier to come by versus the Bengals, at least through the air. They'll need more than the 26 yards rushing they managed against the Bucs. The problems for the Vikes is: who will get those yards? The Bengals know exactly from where their rush yards will come: Rudi! Rudi! Rudi! 100 yards from Rudi opens up the air game for Palmer to throw to the Johnson's and the Houshmanzedah's (well, I guess there is only one of those). But a late, boneheaded interception thrown by Palmer leads to a game-winning Culpepper rush score.

Minnesota win, 31-27. Palmer's desperation hail mary to Johnson, Chad, is broken up.

"So many Johnson's, so little time," quips Palmer.

New England @ Carolina

One game into the season, and the Panthers have already lost defensive tackle Kris Jenkins for the season to a knee injury. Jenkins was lost last year to a shoulder injury, one of several Panthers that fell to injury in 2004. Also injured for the Cats are running back Eric Shelton and safety Colin Branch. Are the Panthers in for a replay of last year?

"Well, there's déjà vu," says Carolina coach John, "and then there's déjà vu winding up and giving you a big kick in the gonads. That's what happened to us. Damn that Sports Illustrated jinx!"

And the Panthers luck doesn't get much better, as they welcome the two-time defending Super Bowl champs to Charlotte, and the Pats are bringing an extra plane just to carry their Super Bowl rings. Pats QB Tom Brady sports three of his own, and his surname is never mispronounced. Carolina QB Jake Delhomme, on the other hand (no pun intended), has no Super Bowl rings, and down South, "Delhomme" is mispronounced in countless ways.

"Heck, some people can't even pronounce 'Jake'" says Delhomme.

With the loss of Jenkins, Carolina's interior defensive line is weakened, and New England coach Bill Belichick has made a living exploiting weaknesses. Expect Corey Dillon to run between inside to later set up play action passes. Carolina can score on the Pats — they proved that in Super Bowl XXXVIII. But they can't score enough to topple the well-balanced Patriot game. Dillon rushes for a score, and Brady throws TD passes to Deion Branch and tight end Ben Watson.

New England wins, 34-25.

Pittsburgh @ Houston

Steeler coach Bill Cowher was pleased with Pittsburgh's Week 1 victory over the Titans. So pleased that he tacked on an extra day off for his troops, giving them Monday and Tuesday off.

"We're running the same game plan this Sunday," says Cowher, "so I figured it will still be fresh in their minds. I looked at our schedule, and I saw that we are playing the Oilers for the second week in a row, so the game plan will remain exactly the same."

Uh, Bill, Tennessee is not the Oilers, although they used to be, and Houston was home of the Oilers, until they moved to Nashville. Now they are the Texans.

"That's confusing," replies Cowher. "So you're saying we're not playing in the Astrodome, and Warren Moon won't be quarterbacking?""

No, Bill, you're playing at a place called Reliant Stadium, where the Texans were 3-5 last year, and the quarterback is David Carr, who's been sacked so much he cringes when his baby daughter runs to hug him.

"Me like," says Cowher.

The Texans are held to seven points for the second straight week. Willie Parker rushes for a score, and Antwaan Randle El tosses a TD pass to Cedric "The Entertainer" Wilson on a double reverse option pass.

The Men of Steel enter the phone booth, and emerge 2-0 with a 23-7 shellacking of the Texans.

San Francisco @ Philadelphia

Who's the happiest man in football right now? Why, it's former 49er great and Notre Dame alumnus Joe Montana, elated to see San Fran alone atop the NFC West standings, and his beloved Fighting Irish No. 10 in the polls.

"And don't forget about the Chiefs," says Montana. "I quarterbacked there, too, you know, and they're by themselves on top in the AFC West. And my backup while I was there, Steve Bono, is now frontman for probably the greatest band in the world right now, U2, and he's quite the humanitarian. It's obvious, everything I touch turns to gold."

San Fran surrendered 405 total yards to St. Louis, but countered with seven sacks and a big punt return TD by Fred Amey to upset the Rams, 28-25. This Sunday, the upset won't be easy against a Philly team stinging from a Monday night defeat in Atlanta. Terrell Owens did not score a TD on Monday night's stage, so he will certainly be looking for a big game.

"It's been about nine months since my last touchdown celebration," Owens comments. "So I'm sitting on a backlog of material that I'm just dying to show my old teammates, who miss me, I'm sure."

Owens and QB Donovan McNabb speak at length before the game, via two tin cans connected by string, and then hook up on the field for 125 yards and a TD. The Eagles' defense, who had trouble containing the runs of Michael Vick, have no such problem with Tim Rattay, who throws two interceptions.

Philadelphia wins, 24-12.

Atlanta @ Seattle

Who planned the Falcons' schedule? Was it someone who enjoys the spectacle of carnivorous birds of prey going talon to talon? First, the Falcons clip the Eagles; this week, they head to Seattle for a Falcon/Seahawk clash.

"Our feathers are ruffled," says Falcon QB Michael Vick. "We're making a name for ourselves in the NFC, as well as among the bird elite. With apologies to our nation's national bird, we really took it to the Eagles. They've pushed us around for the last time."

Indeed, the Falcons protected their turf, and, if the Falcons and Eagles are up for homefield when the playoffs roll around, then Atlanta has the early edge.

Seattle hopes to avoid an 0-2 start, although a two-game deficit in the NFC West can be made up in a matter of, well, two games.

"There's no need to panic," says Seattle's Mike Holmgren. "I'm reading The Worst Case Scenario Handbook right now, and number one on the list is 'falling two games down to San Francisco two games into the season.' The solution: go 8-6 the rest of the way, and we're in the playoffs."

Needless to say, it's a big game for the Seahawks. Have they ever won one of those? They certainly didn't last year. And the trend continues.

Seattle can't stop the Falcons rushing attack, and Vick, Warrick Dunn, and T. J. Duckett combine for 170 yards.

The Falcons' defense is tough again, and Atlanta wins, 27-20.

St. Louis @ Arizona

It's week two of the "Kurt Warner Faces His Ex-Team, Who Would Like Nothing Better Than to Pound Him Into the Turf, and Collect a Few Fumbles and Interceptions Later" Tour 2005. Last week against the Giants, Warner held his own, throwing for 264 yards and a touchdown. This week, Warner welcomes his old buddies from St. Louis to the scorching Phoenix desert.

"I see the Rams are underachieving, again," says Warner. "It's obvious to me now that the Rams Super Bowl-winning year of 2001 was a classic case of overachieving, and I was a big part of that. I went from being the best quarterback in the game to, well, quarterbacking Arizona. But at least I'm not bagging groceries."

The Rams lost to the league's worst team last year, San Francisco, who didn't even use their No. 1 draft pick, Alex Smith, to win. They did, however, use new coach Mike Nolan.

"Darn it!" exclaims Rams' self-proclaimed genius Mike Martz. "That's another coach in the league who can coach figure eights around me. But that's okay. There's still plenty of people in this organization on whom to blame defeats. Hey, you! Boy who holds the cords to my headset! It's your fault."

The Rams were 2-6 on the road last year, losing those six by an average of 20 points. And probably all of those were Martz's fault. This time, the Rams don't get blown out, but Warner gets the last laugh, with a touchdown pass each to Larry Fitzgerald and Anquan Boldin.

Arizona wins, 29-24.

Cleveland @ Green Bay

After last week's season-ending injury to wide receiver Javon Walker, quarterback Brett Favre will surely be pulling the driver out of the bag more often. His "Donald" Driver, that is.

"Okay, I'll play along," says Favre. "In keeping with the golf analogy, we just pulled one into the water against the Lions last week. Then we took a drop, got a bad lie, and our approach came out fat and ended up on the lip of the sand trap. After two blasts out of the sand to reach the green, we four-putted. Then, we were heckled by some rowdy fans."

In short, it wasn't a pretty day for the Packers. Favre barely cleared 200 yards passing, threw two interceptions, and lost a fumble in the Packers' 17-3 loss. Trent Dilfer wasn't much better, with two INTs and a fumble, as well.

"But I did throw a 68-yard TD strike to some guy named Frisman, Frisman Jackson," notes Dilfer. "He has four brothers, two sisters, and is very musically-oriented. And Billie Jean is not his lover. But look, you've got to give Brett and I some breaks. We're getting pretty long in the tooth, and our legs can barely support us, but still, we keep going. Besides, we both have Super Bowl rings. There are only two other starting QBs in the league who can say that."

Favre wins this duel, throwing two TDs to Driver, and the Packers scratch the win column with a 28-14 win.

Miami @ N.Y. Jets

The error-prone Jets were whipped by the Chiefs last week, 27-7, led into defeat by the play of their quarterback, Chad Pennington, who fumbled six times and threw one interception. Doubts already existed about Pennington's arm strength — now, should the Jets worry about his hand strength?

"Gosh, I haven't seen that many fumbles by a Jets' quarterback since Joe Namath tried to kiss Suzy Kolber on an ESPN Sunday night game a couple years ago," says New York coach and happiest man in the face of adversity Herman Edwards. "The Chiefs played defense about as well as Suzy did — Joe didn't get to first base, and neither did we. But we've got Chad on a strenuous hand-strengthening regimen: he's squeezing Charmin toilet paper 500 times a day."

Incidentally, Mr. Whipple has a cannon for an arm.

In Miami, QB Gus Frerotte fumbled only once, and threw two touchdowns. More importantly, to celebrate those scores, he didn't ram his head into the Pro Player Stadium wall, jamming his neck, as he did when he was a Redskin.

"We didn't pick up Gus for his brains," explains Dolphins' coach Nick Saban. "He's on this team because of his arm. How he chooses to celebrate is his business. He can butt heads with a brick wall as far as I'm concerned, as long as his right arm remains healthy."

The Jets laid a rotten egg last week, but Sunday, in game 1 of the Meadowlands' two-day doubleheader, Edwards lights a fire under Pennington. When Pennington extinguishes his pants, he takes the field and leads the Jets to a 26-9 win, and only fumbles once.

San Diego @ Denver

Do the Broncos have a backup quarterback on their roster? They do? That's good, because when Jake Plummer is your starter, a backup can come in handy, especially when Jake starts the game with six straight incompletions, and eventually ends the day 22-48 with two interceptions, as he did last week versus the Dolphins.

Anyway, Plummer's backup is Bradlee Van Pelt, who, much like his mentor Plummer, has a problem keeping his middle finger holstered. Van Pelt was seen acting a fool at the September 3rd game pitting his alma mater, Colorado State, against the Colorado Buffaloes. Not only did Van Pelt flash the bird, he was also wearing a shirt featuring an obscenity.

"Okay, okay," says Denver coach Mike Shanahan. "Our quarterbacks are idiots. Come on, we drafted Maurice Clarett, for Christ's sake. Obviously, we don't look for character in a player."

Well, coach, maybe you should start looking for talent.

San Diego lost to Dallas last week, and part of the reason was the absence of tight end Antonio Gates, placed on the "roster exempt" list earlier and forced to miss the opener. Gates is back, and should help the Chargers' cause.

"Say what you will about pro athletes holding out for more money," says Gates. "Most shouldn't do it, but you've got to admit I had more of a right to than anyone. I was only making $380,000 a year. That's chump change. I could make that playing basketball in Turkey, or in the Major Indoor Lacrosse League. The Chargers know they were wrong. That's why they gave me a new contract."

Gates makes his return, and catches a TD pass, as does LaDainian Tomlinson, and Plummer does just enough to lose.

Chargers win, 23-20.

Kansas City @ Oakland

Randy Moss made an immediate impact for the Raiders last Thursday in their opener against the Patriots, with five receptions for 130 yards, including a 73-yard TD bomb from Kerry Collins.

"Put me in purple and gold," says Moss, "or silver and black. Shoot, put me in pink tutu and a top hat. Madd Skillz always gets the job done. And what kind of fool thinks the Vikings' offense is better off without me. I outscored them all by myself. Seven points to six. Their defense scored their only touchdown."

That's great, Randy. But tell me, what's under the do-rag?

"I'll tell you what's under it, playa," says Moss. "The best receiver in the game."

Moss will be the main focus of the Kansas City defense that nearly pitched a shutout last week against the Jets. Moss will a little tougher to handle than Jets' receivers Laveranues Coles and Justin McCairens, who combined for 105 yards receiving.

"And they got no street cred," says Moss.

The Raiders and Chiefs truly hate each others' guts, more so than that amateur rivalry that the Eagles and Falcons have, so don't be surprised if a full-scale battle royal erupts at midfield before the game.

"Just so we can show those chumps in Atlanta and Philly what real hatred is," says Raider lineman Warren Sapp.

Moss is unstoppable, but so is the Chiefs' running game, with Priest Holmes and Larry Johnson (who's taken off the diapers, but still hits like a baby) scoring a touchdown apiece.

An interception by safety Sammie Knight secures a 38-33 Chiefs' victory.

New Orleans @ N.Y. Giants

John Madden is in a panic. What, he just woke up from a nightmare in which a 17-ounce Outback steak and a can of Tinactin were dangled in front of him, while he was tied starving and suffering from athlete's foot to the nose of an F-14 fighter jet poised for takeoff from the U. S. S. Harry S. Truman, you ask? No, but close.

"How in the name of Kenny Stabler am I to call two games at once?" asks the ABC announcer. "The Giants/Saints start at 7:00, and 'Skins/Cowboys at 9:00. How the heck can I be two places at once?"

Well, physically, you can't, John. But your image is all over television hawking products 24 hours a day, so maybe you can call one game, and corporate Madden can call the other.

Anyway, only in a Week 2 matchup would this be a battle of undefeateds. The Giants used two special teams touchdowns last week to beat the Cardinals. It may have taken two years, but have the Giants' players finally accepted taskmaster Tom Coughlin's strict style?

"Is it possible to respect someone and hate their guts?" asks Michael Strahan. "It is? Then, we've accepted it."

The Saints stunned the Panthers in Charlotte, and get rewarded with a home game in the Meadowlands, as a result of the Hurricane Katrina devastation. In game two of the Meadowlands' two-day doubleheader, Deuce McAllister rushes for a score, and Joe "Me So" Horn catches a TD pass, then pulls a cell phone from the end zone pylon, calls the Verizon guy and says, "Can You Hear Me Now?" But New York teams go 2-0 in the Meadowlands; Tiki Barber rushes for 130 yards and a score, and the G-Men make a late defensive stop to preserve the victory.

Giants win, 23-21.

Washington @ Dallas

In last Sunday's victory over San Diego, Dallas' Drew Bledsoe threw for 226 yards, eclipsing the 40,000-yard mark for his career. Bledsoe became the 10th, and slowest, quarterback ever to reach that plateau.

"By 'slowest,' do you mean it took me longer than any of the other nine to reach 40,000 yards?" asks Bledsoe.

No, Drew, I mean you are slow, as in afoot. You make Brett Favre look like Carl Lewis. And you make the Burger King look good, too, when he intercepts your pass and dances all the way to the end zone in that BK commercial. But, congratulations on 40,000, and on a good game last Sunday.

For the 'Skins, Mark Brunell has been named starter after Patrick Ramsey went down with a foot injury against the Bears. Ramsey has since requested a trade.

"All those interested in Ramsey are instructed to post bids on eBay," says Washington owner/geek Daniel Snyder.

Dallas has won the last 13 in this series. Make it 14. The 'Boys ride running back Julius Jones, who rushes for 115 yards and a touchdown. The Dallas defense picks off Brunell twice, and the Cowboys hold on for a 19-10 triumph.

Posted by Jeffrey Boswell at 4:19 PM | Comments (4)

Slant Pattern Blackjack

1. I have an open letter I'd like to write to France, regarding Lance Armstrong and their neverending string of drug accusations.

Dear France,

You're only kidding yourself.

Sincerely,

Kevin Beane

2. It seems like the 40-ounce, and malt liquor in general, is not the de rigeur beverage it was 10 years ago. Won't you join me in contributing to its resurgence?

3. Speaking of, do they still make Country Club Malt Liquor and where can I get some? Has there ever been a more beautifully-paradoxical marketing name for a product than that?

4. The Bills looked very sharp in their throwback unis this Sunday past. Let's see them all season. I kept expecting O.J. Simpson to go straight up the middle for five yards.

6. If you bet $10 on a 200-1 shot for a team to win the Super Bowl, it'd be hard to be discourage you after just Week 1. But I put that $10 on the Jets.

7. There's a writer out there who I think has the chops to get hired by one of the big boys like Sports Illustrated, and I hope he does. Get to know Pete Fiutak. His reaction to Iowa still being ranked ahead of Iowa State in the polls: "I saw this on Sunday morning and put a bag on my head in shame like Sylvester Junior. 'Oh father.'" I laugh every time I read that. As common as Looney Tunes metaphors are, when was the last time you thought of that one?

8. Sportswriters at big-time publications I like: Steve Rushin, Peter King, Peter Gammons, Rich Eisen (when he does write), Stewart Mandel, Seth Davis.

9. One writer at a big-time publication I don't like: Gary Smith. He's considered the gold standard, but I don't get it. He is forcefully dramatic and his angles or themes never, ever resonate with me, and so he gets in the way of his own stories.

11. Another I don't like: Rick Reilly. I'm always surprised when pandering populist pieces get all the accolades (guess I'm not cynical enough), but if he's not writing a pandering populist piece, he's writing a painfully unfunny schmaltzy piece.

12. One I have mixed feelings about: Bill Simmons. His works are informal to the point of distraction, he painfully struggles with closing out his columns, and his vaguely anti-feminist, rip-on-athletes-who-do-unmanly-things vibe is really pathetic in the kind of way that makes me certain it would be exceedingly easy to kick his ass in a bar fight (maybe even for me!) But he's still a must-read because he's funny as hell.

13. Another one I am ambivalent about: Gregg Easterbrook. Great style, wonderfully-long pieces, and perhaps no sportswriter I read so easily puts his thoughts perfectly onto paper. But there's also an unmistakable pomposity there that gets a bit thick at times, and he seems to try very hard — too hard — to be (or at least come across) on both sides of the fence politically. I appreciate independent thinkers, voters, politicians, and writers, but with him it seems forced, like, "I just said something conservatives out there will appreciate, now here's something for the liberals." I agree with him that women are nice to look at, but enough already. Most of us know exactly where to go to look at the people we like to look at, and it's not an Easterbrook column. And yes, I have the same complaint with the Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue.

14. The Indians are less talented than the Yankees and the A's, but they are going to take the AL wildcard anyway because they're red-hot and seven of their of their last 16 games are against Kansas City, plus three at home against Tampa Bay.

15. Everyone across the political spectrum cries "Freedom!" ... but if you study most people's arguments carefully, you get the notion they'd really prefer a dictatorship where the dictator felt exactly the same way about everything that they do. Freedom for me, but not for thee.

16. I hope the winner of the NL West ends up with a sub-.500 record and then goes on to win the World Series. Then all the populist panderers will write self-righteous articles about how the current baseball playoff system is a travesty.

17. Team USA, the soccer one, is good enough to make the World Cup semifinals if things go their way. They have arrived and will not miss another World Cup for a very long time.

18. While waiting for the American football season to start, I gave Canadian Football a chance. I like it. I've picked a favorite team (the Montreal Alouettes), and I'm surprised how much I have truly become a real fan of the Als, as they are called. The list of guys you remember from college football (and some ex-NFLers) is too long to rattle off here, but a) it really seems to be the second-best football league, in terms of talent, in the world — I give them the nod over Arena Ball and NFL Europe; and b) Remember Robert Edwards, the Patriots star who suffered the horrible, wheelchair-threatening injury playing beach volleyball, only to make it all the way back to the NFL for a second? And you thought he retired: he's the Als' leading rusher at 581 and 6.7 yards per carry.

19. I hope the poker boom isn't just a fad. It makes surprisingly dramatic TV. To me, at least.

20. I'm still carrying the torch for golf, but with a handful of guys winning all the tournaments and no good Cinderella stories for quite awhile, I haven't felt compelled to write about it.

21. At this exact moment in history, do fans of Miami and Tulsa feel weird saying, "I love the Hurricane(s)?"

Posted by Kevin Beane at 3:37 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

NASCAR Top 10 Power Rankings: Week 26

Note: the quotes in this article are fictional.

1. Tony Stewart — Stewart keeps on rolling, and his seventh-place at Richmond gives him 12-straight top-10s. But to the leader come the spoils: gone is Stewart's 200-point lead, reduced to five per Chase rules.

"Whereas before, I could have finished last and still held the lead," says Stewart, "now, technically, I could finish second and lose the points lead. It just doesn't make sense."

Yeah, all that work to build such a points lead for naught. NASCAR could at least give him a 10-point cushion.

Stewart's defense of his points lead should get off to a good start. He dominated at New Hampshire on his way to the win there in mid-July.

2. Greg Biffle — Biffle finished third at Richmond, and needs to look no further than out his windshield to see who his main competition for the 2005 Cup may be: teammates Kurt Busch and Matt Kenseth.

"Before the Chase," says Biffle, "the Roush motto was 'Take one for the team.' Now that motto is 'Every man for himself.' I plan to take that to heart."

With five cars in the hunt, there are bound to be instances of Roush cars battling each other, which could lead to some friction in the Roush camp.

Biffle is primed for a run at the title. In the last three races, he has qualified and finished in the top four.

3. Matt Kenseth — Kenseth left no doubt as to his inclusion in the Chase; he finished second to Kurt Busch to easily secure the ninth position in the points. He is arguably the hottest driver right now, with four-straight top-sevens, including a pole-to-checkered win at Bristol.

"Don’t fear the reaper,” says Kenseth. “Fear me. We were dead in the water back in June, but we finally found that Roush secret formula just in time to make the Chase."

Kenseth was the last Cup champion under the old format. If he remains hot, he could add a new style championship to his trophies.

4. Kurt Busch — Busch entered the 10-race Chase in style, winning at Richmond for his third win of the season. Like nearly all of Roush Racing, Busch is peaking at exactly the right time.

"Everything before the Chase was just a Sunday drive," says Busch. "Starting now, it's like rush hour on the Autobahn at WrestleMania — no speed limit, no rules, no problem."

Busch began last year's Chase with a win a New Hampshire, and then reeled off five-straight finishes of sixth or better. He hopes to establish the same start this year.

5. Rusty Wallace — Wallace finished fifth, and improved his position in the points to third, leapfrogging Jimmie Johnson to gain what could be an important five points. When the Chase starts Sunday in New Hampshire, Wallace will only be 10 points behind Tony Stewart, instead of over 300 behind.

“What a bargain,” says Wallace. “I finish two places ahead of Stewart, and I gained nearly 300 points on him. This Chase deal will be a piece of cake.”

In the last 15 races, Wallace has only one finish worse than 13th. That consistency, with a win or two thrown in, will allow him to challenge for the Cup.

6. Jimmie Johnson — Johnson and the No. 48 crew never seemed to get in a groove this year, and his title aspirations have suffered. Behind Tony Stewart and the Roush team, Johnson is the forgotten man. A finish of 25th at Richmond did nothing to change that feeling.

"We're kind of reeling right now," says Johnson, "but there's always hope. I know no one's picking me to win this thing, but my good friends at the Psychic Hotline think differently. They tell me I'll win as long as I'm willing to pay $7.99 a minute."

Johnson's best in the last three races is a 16th. At this point, that's only good enough to put you in an early hole. The Lowe's team must make vast improvement in a hurry to compete with the favorites.

7. Mark Martin — Martin finished 13th at Richmond, behind the 1-2-3 finish of teammates Busch, Kenseth, and Biffle. Martin stands sixth in the points, which places him only 25 behind Stewart.

"Can we get any closer?" asks Martin. "I'd like to think so, but I've got a bunch of greedy teammates who want to hog the top spots. I've never been one to complain, so I won't."

Martin is winless in points races this year, which is a trait that seems to separate the Cup favorites from the rest. Any other driver in Martin's position would have only a slim chance for the Cup — since he's got Roush power, his chances improve greatly. But it would help if those ahead of him falter.

8. Jeremy Mayfield — Does anyone not named Slugger or Shana think Mayfield has a chance to win the Cup?

"I do."

Is that Ray Evernham talking?

Anyway, Mayfield qualified for the Chase in seventh-place with a strong sixth-place finish at Richmond. It was his seventh top-10 of the year, and to remain competitive in the Chase, he'll at least need that many top tens in the remaining 10 races.

9. Ryan Newman — Newman slipped in to the Chase by the hair of his chin, finishing 12th at Richmond while Jamie McMurray and Jeff Gordon fell to the wayside.

"Now that was pressure," says a relieved Newman. "I'm just glad we're in the Chase. Now the fun starts. Where's Dale Jarrett?"

One thing Newman has going for him is that he's fast. While his race results have left a lot to be desired, he has qualified well, and is long overdue for a pole. Last year in the final 10 races, Newman reeled off four-straight poles, and won at Dover.

10. Carl Edwards — Edwards earned his ticket to the Chase by finishing 21st at Richmond, landing him eighth in the points. Edwards has Chase experience — last year, of the 13 Cup races he ran, the final 10 were for the money. And he was respectable, with two top-10s.

Edwards is probably a year away from seriously contending for the Cup title. He has made more strides forward in the span of one year than anyone on the circuit. Whether he's ever Cup champ or not, he'll always have one thing going for him: the best set of teeth in NASCAR (although that's probably not saying much).

Posted by Jeffrey Boswell at 3:22 PM | Comments (0)

September 14, 2005

NFL Math: Early Test Results

Once the gun goes off to end the Super Bowl, NFL teams take a close look at their rosters and begin to assemble a plan to improve their team. Each team has its own plan, and each plan yields different results.

Week 1 of the NFL season has given a glimpse (if somewhat early) on how successful the process was.

Addition By Addition

This is the favored manner of improving. The idea is to keep the good players you already have and simply add better players at the weaker positions.

This is easier said than done in the salary-cap era and can also lead to accusations that the team hasn't really done anything to improve.

New York Jets

The Jets think they pretty much have all the puzzle pieces and just need to put them all together. The team spent a second-round draft choice on Ohio State kicker (and team captain) Mike Nugent in order to replace Doug Brien, who missed two field goals in the final two minutes of the Pittsburgh playoff game the Jets lost by three points.

QB Chad Pennington however, fumbled six times in Week 1, and looked anything but the guy who can get Gang Green deep into the AFC playoffs. Rookie kicker Mike Nugent fell on one of his attempts and the Jets fans may be a little worried with what they saw early this season.

St. Louis Rams

St. Louis is several years removed from the "Greatest Show on Turf" teams that appeared to score at will.

WR Torry Holt is still explosive and QB Marc Bulger can move the ball through the air, but something is still missing. The Rams also tried to address their defensive shortcomings by adding a number of defensive free agents. The result, a first game loss to the San Francisco 49ers who should be in a race for worst team in the NFL. Not a good start for head coach Mike Martz.

Seattle Seahawks

Last season, the Seahawks were the in vogue pick for the Super Bowl. The most glaring weakness of their game was the large number of dropped passes from their receivers. Joe Jurevicius and Jerome Pathon were added to address this. Pathon didn't make the final roster, but Jurevicius caught a TD in Week 1.

The jury is still out, but coach Mike Holmgren must be running out of time if the Seahawks deliver another .500 season. Although, the Seahawks lost their opener, if the receiver play continues to improve, the Seahawks have a good chance to represent the NFC West in the playoffs.

New York Giants

The Giants used free agency to plug most of the holes in their team. WR Plaxico Burress looks like a good pickup to haul in the passes from a developing Eli Manning. Burress even contributed a TD in a Week 1 win over the Arizona Cardinals, this year's in vogue pick for most improved.

The Giants are solid with RB Tiki Barber and if Manning improves quickly and the defense comes together, the Giants may have put together a solid team.

Chicago Bears

Here is an example of the dangers of adding one or two guys without an eye for depth on your football team.

The Bears drafted RB Cedric Benson and signed WR Muhsin Muhammad. Then, QB Rex Grossman went down in the preseason. The Bears now need to rely on rookie Kyle Orton to lead the offense.

Week 1 saw the Bears drop a game to the "ready-to-beat Washington Redskins," who seem to add players without any real plan for development or succession. While the Bears weren't really a great threat to make a whole bunch of noise this season, the Grossman injury just seems to set them back.

Addition By Subtraction

Some teams feel that instead of adding someone, they really need to take someone away, someone who is holding them back. This player may disrupt locker room chemistry or simply is someone who can always be counted upon to make the wrong move at the wrong time.

Minnesota Vikings

There was a limit for the Randy Moss soap opera after all in Minnesota. After admitting to taking plays off, insulting fellow players and coaches, leaving a game early, and fake-mooning the crowd in Green Bay, the Vikings figured they couldn't move ahead with Moss and let him go.

In Moss' place, the Vikings selected South Carolina WR Troy Williamson in the draft who has great speed, but wide receivers generally don't find their stride until their third year in the league or so (with Moss a great exception).

The defense is much improved, but if the Vikings lose their ability to put up lots of points, and Week 1 has shown that some of that ability may be lost, the improved defense may not be able to help the team get deeper into the playoffs.

Buffalo Bills

Drew Bledsoe drew more criticism than cheers his last few seasons in Buffalo. The Bills, who started last season 0-4, but finished 8-2, decided to let the immobile Bledsoe go and turn the game over to second-year J.P. Losman.

While Bledsoe led his new team, the Dallas Cowboys, to a win against San Diego, Losman has Buffalo fans looking for great things after his performance. Losman moved the pocket, scrambled, and looked very poised for a young QB making his first start.

The Bills defense doesn't look like it will fall out of the top five this season and this may be the year that Buffalo makes the playoffs after a five-year absence.

Addition By Other Peoples' Subtraction

This strategy has your team pick up the players that other teams let go for various reasons: too old, too expensive, and too high-maintenance.

While your roster may end up with a number of big names on it, the effectiveness of your team may not add up to the sum of all the individual parts.

Oakland Raiders

Of course the Raiders fit here. The Silver and Black have been a destination for the league's huddled masses for years. The misfits and quirky players can find a place under the wing of Al Davis, with varying results.

The Raiders have won Super Bowls and have finished in the basement, but have never been boring.

The big-name misfit this year is, of course, Randy Moss. Run out of Minnesota, Moss has found a home in Oakland and fits in with the long passing game that Al Davis loves.

Warren Sapp, Kerry Collins, and Moss lead the names of players who were let go by their former team and migrated west.

Moss will catch touchdowns because that is what he does. However, players like Sapp have seen their best days already and long touchdowns don't mean you win Super Bowls (see the Minnesota Vikings).

Washington Redskins

Owner Dan Snyder hasn't met a price tag he didn't like. After years of spending like a drunken sailor on other teams' cast-offs, the Redskins don't appear to be any closer to getting back to the Super Bowl.

At least the Raiders put on an entertaining show with their collection of re-treads. The Redskins though just keep coasting along without any real plan of putting together a team and are rewarded with the largest home crowds in the league.

The defense under Gregg Williams has been near the top of the league, but the offense has so many holes that not even Joe Gibbs seems able to turn things around.

The Redskins did get a win in Week 1, but other wins may not come in bunches in their division with six games against seemingly perennial power Philadelphia, perhaps an improved Dallas, and an up-and-coming New York Giant team.

Of course, Week 1 trends don't always predict how the season will unfold, but seeing your plans lead to a win is always better than second-guessing because of a loss.

Posted by Jeff Moore at 4:12 PM | Comments (1)

Bluebook Notes #2: Michigan to Sun Bowl?

I hear El Paso is a really fine place in January. Unfortunately, it is a destination that most teams in the Big 10 teams try to avoid. The reason why is because El Paso hosts the Sun Bowl, which gives an invite to the fifth-place team in the Big 10. I'm not ready to say that the Wolverine fans are destined to spend their holidays getting drunk in Juarez, but if things don't change soon, it could happen. Michigan looked uninspiring at best against Northern Illinois, and played even worse last Saturday against Notre Dame.

On Saturday, I noticed a couple of things that should concern Michigan fans across the country. The first is Steve Breaston. This is a guy that at minimum was supposed to help carry the burden of losing Braylon Edwards, and who could potentially be Chad Henne's number one option. In two games, he has clearly underperformed (besides that nice reverse) and only has 24 yards receiving. He has got the talent, but does he have the route running skills and discipline that it takes to be a solid receiver? Only time will tell.

The second concern for Michigan of course would be their efficiency in the red zone. One of the main reasons why there was so much trouble punching the ball in was because of the offensive line and the injuries within. Jake Long will be out for most of the season and nagging injuries to guys like Matt Lentz and Mike Kolodziej have decimated a unit that is extremely talented, but always had depth issues. This will be another area that Lloyd Carr and his staff will have to address immediately, so that they can put themselves in contention for the Big 10 crown. If they don't, Michigan could be headed for a showdown at high noon in El Paso.

The HeisDAQ

The race for the Heisman Trophy fluctuates week by week. The HeisDAQ will let you know whose Heisman "stock" is rising and falling.

1) Matt Leinart, QB USC (strong buy) — The Trojans had a bye week, so they could relax and further prepare themselves for the pending annihilation that they are going to dish out to the Arkansas Razorbacks. I will be at the Coliseum on Saturday to witness this first-hand, I expect no less than a 300-yard game from Leinart.

2) Vince Young, QB Texas (strong buy) — I guess Vince Young likes playing against the Big 10. Until last Saturday, Young was best known for his stellar 3-TD performance against Michigan in last year's Rose Bowl. Now, he has shown that last year's virtuoso against the Wolverines was no fluke, and he obviously loves being on center stage. I wonder what all of those doubters are going to say now the he threw a touchdown pass to beat the Buckeyes.

3) Reggie Bush, RB/KR/PR USC (buy) — I still think that Reggie Bush can win the Heisman — however, it's gotten even tougher for him to pull it out. He will have throw up some pretty gaudy stats against Arkansas this Saturday in order to move up on my ballot. The good news for him is that he has the goods to do it.

4) Chris Leak, QB Florida (buy) — Leak had a strong performance last week, and showed that he could be a contender for the Heisman Trophy. He has settled in very nicely with Urban Meyer's offense and has been a model of efficiency. This week, he will be on center stage as the Gators battle Tennessee in one of the best SEC matchups this season. If Leak can lead his team to victory, he will most certainly move up in my rankings.

5) Brady Quinn, QB Notre Dame (strong buy) — I think Brady read my column last week. He performed exactly as I outlined by making plays and leading his team to victory. He has earned his spot in the top five and playing for the Irish guarantees him all the media time and corresponding hype that he will need.

6) Adrian Peterson (speculative buy) — Forty-two yards and a cloud of dust. That is probably the most accurate way to describe one of the best touchdown runs of the season. Peterson has vaulted back to sixth in my rankings with a strong 220-yard performance against Tulsa. He will have to continue this forward momentum against a UCLA team that has potent offensive firepower, but is vulnerable to a strong rushing attack.

7) Ted Ginn, WR/KR/PR/DB Ohio State (speculative buy) — Ginn let a fantastic opportunity slip through his very talented fingertips against Texas. Although Ginn has the ability to be a game-changer, he is still a sophomore and sometimes plays like one. I don't know if Ginn will have a shot make up the ground needed to win the Heisman, but it'll be fun watching him try.

8) Laurence Maroney, RB Minnesota (buy) — Maroney is keeping his faint Heisman dreams alive with strong showing against Colorado State. He put a good numbers, but considering the field that he's up against, he almost has to average 175 yards per game. The competition will begin to stiffen as well in the next couple of weeks, so he will be put to the test.

9) Gerald Riggs, Jr., RB Tennessee (buy) — Riggs makes my list this week because he has the same opportunity that Chris Leak has. The Florida-Tennessee showdown promises to be a show-stopper and whoever can take the most advantage of it will improve their odds for taking home the hardware significantly. Riggs is the best player on Tennessee's offense and must have a good game if they are to win. If he can rush for over 100 yards with a couple of scores (preferably the game-winning one), he will have put his name back in the running for the Heisman.

10) Drew Tate, QB Iowa (hold) — Tate's Heisman hopes took a significant hit due to the loss against Iowa State. He has to hope the Heisman voters remember that he sustained a concussion in that game and that he was unavailable to play after the second quarter. I have to keep him in my top 10 for now, but one more early season loss will most likely drop him out of contention for good.

Others to Watch — Omar Jacobs (buy), D.J. Shockley (speculative buy) Reggie McNeal (buy) Reggie Ball (speculative buy), DeAngelo Williams (speculative buy), Maurice Drew (speculative buy)

Games to Watch/Picks to Click

In this section of Bluebook Notes, I highlight three of the best potential games for the next week. I will also give my pick as to who will come out victorious.

Season Record: 1-2 ATS; Last Week: 1-2 ATS

Oklahoma (+6½) @ UCLA

This is a very intriguing matchup, and a difficult one to pick. UCLA has the advantage on offense with a very balanced attack. Oklahoma has struggled on defense, and has looked terrible attempting to throw the ball. However, the ace in the hole for the Sooners is the matchup between Adrian Peterson and the Bruin rushing defense. The Bruins have looked soft against the run this year and gave up 200 yards to lowly Rice last Saturday. If the Sooners can manage the clock, they will pull this one out, if not it could get ugly. I look for a score somewhere in the middle.

Score: Maurice Drew Olson's 31, Sooners Schoonered 20

Florida State @ Boston College (+1)

Whenever the over/under on a game in college football is 38 points, then you know that the odds-makers are predicting a defensive struggle. I would concur with them, as both teams are strong on defense. In these types of games, it will come down to which team makes the plays on offense and keeps their defense rested. I think Boston College has the advantage there and will win the game.

Score: Eagles Flying High 20, FSU 13

Tennessee (+6) @ Florida

I don't think anyone expected Chris Leak to take to Urban Meyer's offensive schemes the way he has. Unfortunately for Volunteer fans, this means that Leak and the Gators are clicking on all cylinders. The Swamp will be loud and the Gator defense will stack the line and force whichever quarterback Tennessee decides to use to beat them through the air. I think that Gerald Riggs will play well, but the Gators win.

Score: Urban's Gators 28, Tennessaw 10

The Mailbag

The mailbag is the final section of Bluebook Notes. This week's comes from Robin in El Segundo, California.

Do you think USC is unbeatable. If not, who do you think they will lose to.

Robin, I think that the only team that can truly beat USC is themselves. There will be teams that give them a hard time, but only a poor, inefficient showing will cost the Trojans a ballgame. I think they would be most susceptible to that in a rainy, cold, and loud environment like the one presented at Autzen Stadium, home of the Oregon Ducks.

If Oregon doesn't defeat the Trojans, then I think either California or UCLA has the next best shot. Cal seems to always give USC fits, and UCLA will have a shot because of the rivalry factor. With all of that being said, however, I think USC goes undefeated, and very convincingly so. Thanks for the e-mail!

Do you think that I'm "off my rocker," or did I hit the proverbial "nail on the head?" Let me know! Send an e-mail to [email protected] and include your name and hometown. I'll do my best to include it in the next week's column.

Posted by Avery Smith at 3:32 PM | Comments (0)

Braves Never Afraid of Change

From my 22-year-old mind's point of view, Bobby Cox and John Schuerholz are old.

They look old, and they've been running the Braves — Cox as manager, Schuerholz as GM — since before I was born. They've been around.

But these old dogs are all about new tricks. Resting on their laurels has never been an option. And that's why the Braves keep winning, no matter what happens.

Of course, much of the success comes from Cox himself, and his apparent ability to turn any team he manages into a very good team. The Braves can and should credit their decade-plus of dominance largely to Cox.

But not completely. Even great managers can fall victim to bad teams, teams with no pitching, poor defense, and no power. Cox, though, never had to worry about that.

Schuerholz and the Braves front office keep putting together winners, mostly because they fine-tune their formula constantly.

Sure, the mid-'90s Braves had a dominant identity — the big three of Greg Maddux, John Smoltz, and Tom Glavine. But that was just one piece of the puzzle.

The rest of it was ever-changing.

It seemed that one year the Braves would rely almost completely on pitching and defense, and then the next year, they'd plug power hitters into the lineup. They'd replace Terry Pendleton with a precocious kid named Chipper Jones. They'd trade for Fred McGriff. They'd tinker with the pitching staff and work in some youngsters. They'd put a teenaged Andruw Jones into a playoff pressure cooker.

How about that pitching staff? Broken up, and probably at the right time. Glavine and Maddux have been less than spectacular since leaving town. Smoltz, on the other hand is still kicking, be it as a starter or a reliever.

And now, perhaps the Braves are putting on their best adaptability show yet. There were some pressing questions being asked about the Braves before this season. Could veterans Brian Jordan and Raul Mondesi solidify the outfield? Could Chipper Jones stay healthy? Could Smoltz be a starter again? Was the rotation really any good?

A lot of the early answers were no. Brian Jordan struggled. Raul Mondesi got released. Jones got hurt. Smoltz threw in a clunker in his first start of the season. And the rotation looked lackluster.

But these were the Braves, and if things weren't working, things would be changing.

When it became clear that Jordan and Mondesi weren't the answers, the Braves brought the kids up. And they found a star in the process. Jeff Francouer might be the best player to come out of the system since Andruw Jones.

When injuries threatened to decimate the lineup, more youngsters got the call. The same goes for the starting rotation and the bullpen.

And even though a lot of this season's changes were borne out of necessity, a lot of teams still might not have adapted. The Braves never hesitated. They didn't let a pre-established identity govern the whole season. They changed that identity because they had to.

And now the Braves are in first place again. They'll probably be there next year, too. Even if those old guys are the only familiar faces.

Posted by William Geoghegan at 3:08 PM | Comments (0)

ESPN, Dodgeball, and in Between

Every now and then, columnists roll out the "quick hits"-esque column, where they just list a bunch of disjointed thoughts and try to pass it off as a column. No matter how hard they try, every columnist eventually does this. It's kind of a copout, as it doesn't really force a well-reasoned argument or thought, just random babblings. So without further ado, here is nothing in particular.

* So Charlie Weis is bigger than the Sports Gospel jinx, just as I suspected all along. Notre Dame didn't look great, but I'll take a win at the Big House any day. That being said, Notre Dame is not a top-10 team yet.

I think now that Weis is so great that the jinx is shattered forever, so I feel like throwing out some bold predictions. Ohio State will lose again this season, Texas will lose twice, Pittsburgh will beat Nebraska, and the Red Sox will not win the World Series. Heck, while I'm at it, the Washington Generals will beat the Globetrotters, the Indians will win the World Series, and hell will freeze over.

* All in all, it was a great sports weekend for me. Andre Agassi's win over James Blake was an instant classic, my Ohio Bobcats upset Pittsburgh in Athens, the Irish dropped Michigan, and my Bengals made the Browns look like garbage. (No one could've seen this coming, the Browns aren't good? Wow.)

* Last night, while channel surfing, I landed on a broadcast of extreme dodgeball on the Game Show Network. One of the announcers was none other than Zachary Selwyn from the original ESPN Dream Job, which I find mildly perplexing. First, I know that Dream Job winner Mike Hall is now the anchor on the infamous ESPNU, a channel that no one I have ever talked to has. Wasn't winning that stupid show supposed to land him a spot as a SportsCenter anchor? I feel that he has been mildly jobbed in that regard.

As far as Zach goes, I thought he had a job prior to the reality contest, so why is he forced to call dodgeball? I'm sure the show has gotten some run since the great Dodgeball movie, but is that really where he wants to be? Could he not find a good game of Base-ketball to call? I'm not hating on dodgeball here, I loved the game in gym class (we actually played trenchball, which was a slightly better version), but do people really watch this? I guess a better question is whether to get an L.A. Armed Response or a New York Bling jersey.

* I think the highlight of the game I saw between the L.A. Armed Response and the Philadelphia Benjamins was Mario Lopez (of Saved By the Bell fame) get eliminated twice by stepping on the line. That was the biggest Mario Lopez choke job I have ever seen since he failed to score an offensive touchdown with Bayside as they went up against a very overrated Valley defense in the homecoming matchup (I think this offense definitely could've used Zach Morris — he's on the track team, so he has to be quick and he's on the basketball team, so he has to be an athlete, why not football?).

* The last thing that surprised me about the dodgeball was the little tidbits about the players. Tidbits like, "John Nobody was thrown off his college team for trying to pass to himself." This kind of statement just leaves me with a bunch of unanswered questions.

How stupid do you have to be to try to pass to yourself? What kind of college team would he be on that he doesn't have the experience to tell him it's not going to work? No team would've kicked him off for doing it once, so was this some kind of a pattern? Even the stupidest of guys can play football and play by the roles, so what the hell is wrong with him?

* Finally, one of my favorite athletes right now has to be Roger Federer. This guy redefines clutch play. When it comes to finals play, it simply doesn't get any better. No matter how good his opposition is, Roger elevates his game to make him just a little bit better. I was impressed with him when I saw him live in Cincinnati and after watching him in the Open, I have officially jumped on the bandwagon. It's too bad he doesn't get the run he deserves because he definitely needs to be mentioned as one of the top competitors in sports right now. If you haven't watched him play before, do yourself a favor and check him out.

The Sports Gospel According to Mark is sponsored by BetOnSports.com. BetOnSports.com gives you the greatest sports action to bet on. Wager on football, cricket, boxing, Rugby, horse racing, and more. Mark Chalifoux is also a weekly columnist for SportsFan Magazine. His columns appear every Tuesday on Sports Central. You can e-mail Mark at [email protected].

Posted by Mark Chalifoux at 3:06 PM | Comments (2)

September 13, 2005

NFL Week 1 Power Rankings

Five Quick Hits

* Lots of penalties this weekend. Hopefully, everyone will shape up and adjust quickly.

* Derrick Mason got up dancing after a catch in the Sunday night game. You'd think a veteran would know you don't dance when you're losing 17-0.

* Norv Turner is making a funny face. John Madden: "That's a position that a coach gets into when you don't know exactly what happened, but you think you do and you don't want to hear it."

* Listening to the radio on Sunday, I heard someone declare that Shaun Alexander was the most underrated player in the NFL. How can a Pro Bowler, who went in the first round of every fantasy draft in the country, be the most underrated guy in the league?

* I hate squib kicks.

***

Every year, Week 1 provides a chance for teams to show something new, like Kansas City's defense or Tampa Bay's rookie RB Cadillac Williams. Unfortunately, ESPN's Sunday Night announcing team hasn't changed a bit. The ridiculous hype was present, as usual, but it's not every game that one of the announcers accuses another of having a small penis. Paul McGuire actually said to Joe Theismann, and I quote, "Speaking of short, you would know." Classy and professional, this guy.

The other problems were more predictable. The broadcast missed the first play of the second quarter. Theismann claimed that Baltimore quarterback Kyle Boller was "playing pretty darn well tonight" when Boller left the game. Boller's team was trailing 17-0, he'd just been sacked, and his passer rating was 63.9. That's pretty darn bad.

On to the power rankings. The number in brackets shows last week's rank.

1. Pittsburgh Steelers [9] — Ben Roethlisberger threw only 11 passes on Sunday, the team's fewest attempts in almost 30 years. All last season, I proclaimed that teams have to shut down the run and make Roethlisberger win with his arm. He usually will, but at least then you've got a chance. It's tough to draw many conclusions from their rampage over the young, rebuilding Titans, but it looks like Pittsburgh has picked up where it left off last season.

2. Indianapolis Colts [1] — The offense came together after a rusty start and the defense looked impressive, but I saw reason for serious concern in Sunday night's game. On offense, Peyton Manning threw almost exclusively to his wide receivers, neglecting the running backs and tight ends. There's nothing inherently problematic about that, but I got the impression that Manning didn't really trust anyone but Marvin Harrison and Brandon Stokley. The defense had an impressive showing against Baltimore's joke of an offense, but I believe it will struggle against good teams. The Ravens gave up on the run early, with only seven attempts in the second half.

Indianapolis could win 13 games this year and it wouldn't surprise me, but I don't like them in the postseason because I think they're built to blow-out bad teams, not beat good ones. Keep things close against the Colts, and you'll beat their defense running the ball. Get them behind, and Manning starts forcing things, making mistakes. This is a very good team, but I don't think it's the best.

3. New England Patriots [4] — Oakland's defense focused on stopping the run, and New England responded with a big passing day. I worry that the Patriots created so little for themselves, though. They got a lot of help from Oakland penalties, and they're awfully reliant on turnovers. New England wins the turnover battle pretty consistently, but it's risky to count on that to win games. The Pats did enough to win, and that's fine for now, but they'll need to play better to beat good teams. Richard Seymour had a tremendous game.

4. Atlanta Falcons [10] — No unit impressed me more in Week 1 than Atlanta's defense. Patrick Kerney and Rod Coleman both looked like Defensive Player of the Year candidates, and DeAngelo Hall had a very good game against Terrell Owens. On offense, the line was great, Warrick Dunn was great, and Michael Vick shook off a few bad plays, showing his amazing speed and versatility, plus a great long bomb to Michael Jenkins. Even the special teams looked terrific. Vick needs to get rid of the ball more quickly, though, so he can avoid sacks that lead to fumbles and injuries.

5. Philadelphia Eagles [2] — They usually start slowly under Andy Reid, so I'm not terribly concerned about the Eagles. I'd feel better, though, if there were more evidence of a running game and solid run defense. It's probably unwise to draw definite conclusions from a game against Atlanta's great defense and with starting MLB Jeremiah Trotter out, but these were problem areas for the Eagles last year, too. Donovan McNabb had an awful game, and I'd like to see him tuck the ball and run once in a while.

6. Kansas City Chiefs [8] — It's easy to look at Chad Pennington's six fumbles, Curtis Martin's 2.9 yards per carry, and Trent Green's 66.2 passer rating, and say the Chiefs won with defense. Offseason additions Pat Surtain and Sammy Knight contributed an interception and a sack, respectively, while first-round draft choice Derrick Johnson led the team in tackles and added a sack. KC's defense has clearly improved, but the offense isn't done yet. The Chiefs' scoring drives went an average of 61 yards, and the team leads the NFL in all of the following rushing categories: average per attempt, TDs, first downs, and runs of the 20 yards or more. They've already got some injury problems, so an impressive first week yields a modest jump in the Rankings.

7. Baltimore Ravens [5] — Had their chances against Indianapolis. If Chris McAlister or Ed Reed comes up with the interceptions they dropped in the first half, Baltimore might have won the game. When the Ravens fell behind and started asking their offensive line, which excels at run-blocking, to pass-block against the Colts' defensive front, which specializes at rushing the passer, things started to get ugly. They finished getting ugly when Brian Billick refused to accept Tony Dungy's sportsmanship, calling timeouts and an onside kick instead of letting the Colts run the final 1:41 off the board.

8. Minnesota Vikings [6] — The offense won't be that bad again all season, and the defense showed a lot of promise. My biggest concern is the lack of a running game. The Vikings have Super Bowl aspirations this year, and you don't get to the big game without a rushing attack.

9. Carolina Panthers [3] — Kris Jenkins is out for the season again, and that's a major loss. I'm not prepared to give up on Carolina yet, but Sunday's loss to the Saints was an awfully disheartening sign. The Panthers need more big plays from their defense, and someone besides Steve Smith will have to step up in the receiving corps.

10. Buffalo Bills [14] — Domination. (dom'i na'shen) n. 38:15 time of possession, 2½ times as many yards as your opponent, five sacks, three interceptions, 1.0 yard per pass attempt against.

11. Detroit Lions [12] — Those oft-mentioned first-round receivers (Charles Rogers, Roy Williams, and Mike Williams) combined for four catches for 47 yards and one TD. Marcus Pollard alone had five catches for 58 and a TD. The big credit for Sunday's win, of course, goes to the defense that held Green Bay to three points.

12. Tampa Bay Buccaneers [13] — If they beat Buffalo next week, I may move the Bucs into the top 10, but for now, they only advance one spot. Tampa probably can't play much better than it did on Sunday, and I believe I had this team ranked properly last week. It has my gratitude for making me look smart.

13. Jacksonville Jaguars [17] — Byron Leftwich and Jimmy Smith connected for a lot of yardage, but all credit to the defense on this one. The Jags picked off Matt Hasselbeck three times and held Shaun Alexander to 73 total yards and no touchdowns.

14. New York Jets [7] — Last week, I claimed that "for now, everyone is healthy and the Jets should be able to play with anybody." By "everyone," I meant except Chad Pennington. And by "anybody," I meant college teams.

15. Cincinnati Bengals [16] — Cincinnati's big three of Carson Palmer (26 completions in 34 attempts), Rudi Johnson (126 rushing yards and a TD), and Chad Johnson (9 catches for 91 yards) had a nice game and the defense produced three turnovers. They've got an interesting test at home against Minnesota next week.

16. New Orleans Saints [23] — Not to rain on their stunning, emotional win in Carolina, but I'm still not sold on the Saints. I really liked the way they finished last season, and I was prepared to like them this year, but my memories of the Bears playing in Champaign (and dropping from 13-3 to 4-12) are still too fresh. New Orleans has its first home game on Monday, in New Jersey. I think the Saints will win that game, but they can't last the season moving around so much.

17. Dallas Cowboys [19] — Drew Bledsoe got sacked four times, but completed 75% of his passes for 226 yards and three touchdowns. Anthony Henry had a nice game. The cornerback tandem of Henry and Terence Newman gives the Cowboys a defensive backfield that is unnecessarily good for the receiver-weak NFC East.

18. San Diego Chargers [11] — After their first offensive drive, I was punching myself in the head for ranking the Chargers outside the top 10. Drew Brees looked good and the Cowboys couldn't stop LaDainian Tomlinson. They'll probably rebound a bit next week when Antonio Gates returns, but offense wasn't really the problem against Dallas.

19. Seattle Seahawks [18] — Maybe the recent hospitalization of defensive coordinator Ray Rhodes can explain the problems on defense Sunday, but I don't think Hasselbeck's regression to Rick Mirer levels can be traced to Rhodes. Mike Holmgren might have something to do with it.

20. New York Giants [28] — The defense did a nice number on Arizona, but there's really no way around this: Eli Manning sucks. I meant to rank Washington ahead of New York last week, but now I like the Giants better, so it works out.

21. Miami Dolphins [27] — The Dolphins won the most surprising game of the NFL's opening weekend, demolishing the highly-regarded Broncos. The defense was superb, and the offense moved the ball when it had to, converting eight of 15 third downs. The Broncos made only one out of 12.

22. Washington Redskins [29] — Outplayed the Bears to a degree the 9-7 score doesn't reflect, gaining twice as many yards and holding an 8:30 edge in time of possession. Washington got a couple of big plays out of Clinton Portis and Santana Moss, but it would be nice to see more consistency and fewer mistakes.

23. Denver Broncos [15] — Jake Plummer was atrocious and every break went Miami's way. The Broncos have a chance to rebound with a big divisional game against San Diego in Week 2.

24. Green Bay Packers [21] — Brett Favre had three turnovers and Ahman Green had a zillion yards called back on penalties. The Pack totaled 14 fouls for 100 yards and six Detroit first downs. After giving up only 14 sacks all of last season, Green Bay allowed three against the Lions this weekend. It's too early to say for sure that the wheels have come off, but it's a bad start.

25. Houston Texans [20] — All I saw of the Buffalo game was highlights, but I can read stat sheets, and here's David Carr's passing column: 9-for-21, 70 yards, 3 INT. That doesn't even include the five sacks and lost fumble. I don't know how much of that was Carr's fault, but he's got to start producing soon.

26. St. Louis Rams [22] — So I'm looking at the numbers, and I have no idea how this happened. Twenty-six first downs to 12. Forty minutes to 20 time of possession. Eight out of 20 third downs converted against one of seven. 405 yards to 217. The Rams were on the good side of all those numbers. They even won the turnover battle.

27. Oakland Raiders [26] — Randy Moss had a nice debut in silver and black, but the defense managed zero sacks and interceptions against the Patriots, and 16 penalties is bad even when the officials are flag-happy.

28. Arizona Cardinals [24] — The defense really wasn't bad, but the offense and special teams were terrible. The Cardinals' coverage on Willie Ponder's kick return TD was one of the ugliest things I saw all weekend. As for the offense, all you need to know is that Kurt Warner led the team in rushing.

29. Tennessee Titans [25] — We knew the defense would be bad, but not that bad. Willie Parker, Pittsburgh's third-string RB, averaged 7.3 yards per carry. Roethlisberger averaged 19.8 yards per pass (7 is good) and had a perfect passer rating. On the other side of the ball, Tennessee had four turnovers, three sacks, and 3½ scoreless quarters. The personnel just isn't there.

30. San Francisco 49ers [32] — Mike Adams, Julian Peterson, and Bryant Young combined for six sacks and an interception. Even Tim Rattay had a nice game, but that won't happen against teams with real head coaches.

31. Cleveland Browns [30] — Didn't get blown out, just quietly lost. They're at Green Bay next week, and if the Browns win, the NFC has to forfeit this year's Pro Bowl.

32. Chicago Bears [31] — In one remarkable stretch in the second half, Chicago committed three consecutive false starts. When they finally got a play off, Kyle Orton got sacked, then Muhsin Muhammad dropped a pass.

Posted by Brad Oremland at 5:20 PM | Comments (14)

September 12, 2005

MLB's MVP Races Wide-Open

Someday, maybe 10 or 15 years down the road, we might look back on Albert Pujols as the greatest player of his generation — or even the first superstar of baseball's post-steroid era.

But five years into a career that has "Hall of Fame" written all over it, Pujols hasn't managed to be the most valuable player in his own league for even one season. Four times, admittedly, he has missed out to Barry Bonds, who might have tapped into the "cream" and the "clear" for his power.

No similar cloud hangs over the Cardinals' first baseman. His numbers this year, when Major League Baseball has established something resembling a steroid-testing program, mirror those he logged in past seasons, so Pujols either is clean or he's pretty good at hiding his cheating.

Bonds isn't around this year, so this represents Pujols' first, best chance at winning the National Most Valuable Player award.

And, if justice prevails, he'll miss out again.

With the regular season heading into its final 20 games, three of the National League's four playoff races are all but decided, with only the wildcard race still in serious doubt.

The MVP race is razor thin with three players — Pujols, Chicago's Derrek Lee, and Andruw Jones of Atlanta — still in the running.

In the American League, there are more candidates, including two Red Sox players, David Ortiz and Manny Ramirez, along with New York's Alex Rodriguez, Vladimir Guerrero of the Angels, and Texas' Mark Teixeira.

But the American League race is more clear-cut than the National League's.

National League

Lee, at best, is only on the fringes of MVP consideration, especially with his Cubs well out of playoff contention. His worthiness hinges entirely on the question of whether the MVP is an award for the league's best player or for the guy who helps his team the most.

If it's the former, he might have a shot. If it's the latter, well, as Branch Rickey once reportedly told former Pirates' slugger Ralph Kiner, "We could have finished last (or third in the Cubbies' case) without you."

I like to think the award goes to the best player on a team that is at least contending, unless the player makes a contribution that greatly exceeds those of anyone on the contending teams.

Lee qualifies on neither count. His numbers — .342 batting average, 41 home runs, and 98 RBIs as of Sept. 10 — are in, but not far enough above, the range of his two main competitors.

That leaves Jones and Pujols.

On that count, Jones' manager, Bobby Cox, might have come up with the most salient point when he said, according to the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette, "Without him, we might be smelling trail dust out there."

"Might," nothing.

In a year, the Braves' vaunted pitching staff has only the fifth-best ERA in the National League — below division rivals New York and Washington and just above Florida — and was racked with injuries — including one to emotional leader Chipper Jones — which forced the team to depend heavily on rookies.

Were it not for Andruw Jones' league-leading 46 home runs and 118 RBIs, Atlanta might find itself looking up at the Mets, Nationals, and Marlins in the standings. Instead, the Braves were six games clear of the field with only 20 to play.

Without Pujols, the Cardinals, who lead the NL Central by 14 games with 19 to go, would likely still be playoff bound. St. Louis has the league's top pitching staff and has a human highlight reel in Jim Edmonds patrolling centerfield.

Even though Jones is hitting only .271 — a good 66 points below Pujols and 71 below Lee — his RBI total indicates that he clusters his hits when the Braves put runners on base. And the Braves' won-lost record shows Jones gets his hits in crucial situations.

American League

The issue here is more clear-cut, even though the field of contenders is larger.

The MVP should go to the Yankees' Rodriguez, even though New York might miss out on the postseason — the Yanks are four games behind Boston in the AL East and trail Cleveland by one-and-a-half in the wildcard.

It's not, as happens so often, simply a matter of statistics. In Boston, Ortiz and Ramirez have similar home run numbers and better RBI totals, although A-Rod has a much higher batting average.

In the voting, though, Ortiz and Ramirez might split a Red Sox vote, allowing Rodriguez to sneak through.

Ironically, that works to benefit the most worthy candidate. One player carrying the greatest share of his team's load is, by definition, more valuable than either of two players sharing the effort.

Guerrero could also sneak through, although the Angels have gotten a lot more help from their pitching staff than the Yankees have from theirs.

Barring a surprise by the Angels' star, Rodriguez and Andruw Jones should share the top individual honors, while Pujols, for at least another year, will have to settle for unofficial "best player" status yet again.

Posted by Eric Poole at 3:47 PM | Comments (7)

I Hate Mondays: Yanks/Sox Inevitable

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Are you ready to see the Boston Red Sox versus New York Yankees ... again?

Whether you like that idea or not, as Kim Jong Il from the movie Team America once unclearly said, "It's inevitabre."

Half the battle is already complete since one of these two teams will enter the playoffs via the American League East. That will mostly likely be the Red Sox, leaving the Yankees in search of a berth by way of the wildcard.

As much as these two rivals cannot pitch, play defense, or close out games, they do present the most appealing matchup in the NLCS.

Who else would you rather see?

The Oakland Athletics have stumbled since their summer hot streak and the Chicago White Sox once insurmountable lead in the American League Central is now down to six games. As time has passed, both teams have faded like Susan Sarandon's acting skills and both don't project to do any damage in the postseason. Just remember that the Minnesota Twins pitched an untouchable Cy Young winner twice and had homefield advantage, but still crumbled to the Yankees last year.

That leaves the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim and the Cleveland Indians as the other possible playoff candidates.

The Angels are very similar to last year's squad who also had homefield advantage and was spanked and swept in three games by the Red Sox. The Indians have been one of the hottest teams in the big leagues with a 33-13 record since the middle of July, but they don't have a winning record against either the Yankees or the Red Sox this season and they are untested in the postseason.

They are a great Cinderella story, but come gut-check time, Boston and New York will have the experience on their side and will be able to impose their intimidating presence.

So while the Red Sox are likely in, for the Yankees, the hour is approaching to give it their best. They are one and a half games back, but now they've got to reach their prime. That's when they need to put themselves to the test and show us the passage of time. They're going to need a montage.

With 17 of their 20 remaining games against Tampa Bay, Toronto, and Baltimore, the opportunity is on the table.

Maybe feelings are feelings because we can't control them, but I get the feeling that the Yankees and Red Sox will meet up again in the American League Championship Series.

They measure up pretty well against each other. Both teams play well at home, both teams lead the league in batting statistics and both teams have issues with their pitching. A few years ago, the over/under on a game where Curt Schilling and Randy Johnson were the starting pitchers would have been around seven, but if they meet up in the ALCS, it will probably sit at 10 or higher.

It might be a sloppy series, but it will be one worth watching. More so than any other combination of Red Sox/Yankees versus Angels/White Sox/Indians/Athletics.

Baseball playoffs and Team America mix like Mondays and me.

"I taught them everything they know, but not everything I know." — James Brown

Don't miss next week's installment of "I Hate Mondays," sponsored by CyberSportsbook.com, a great sportsbook for horse racing and casino action!

Posted by Dave Golokhov at 3:35 PM | Comments (0)

Number One, in Tennis and Life

I recently had the greatest opportunity any journalist can hope for. I had the opportunity to spend a couple of hours with the number one woman professional tennis player in the world. A lovely blonde girl, hailing from another continent. I marveled at how smoothly and quickly she moved across the court. I watched in awe as she hit forehand after forehand with punch and power I would not like to face. I marveled at how she could hit her backhand a number of ways, and how her topspin backhand just seemed to do anything she commanded.

"Wow," you must be thinking, "you just had the opportunity to spend the afternoon with Maria Sharapova?" Well, no, but I was honored to be with a player even more accomplished, and as beautiful in her own right.

Her name is Esther Vergeer, and she is the number one professional woman wheelchair tennis player in the world. She has a 151 unbeaten match win streak, her last loss being in 2003. She is, I must admit with a little teenage-style crush, as beautiful as her Russian counterpart and in many ways more sensational and stunning. Her accomplishments on the court dwarf Sharapova's, as well. Yet few have ever heard of her.

Esther has been at the top of professional wheelchair tennis for several years, and there doesn't seem to be any reason to doubt that she can't and won't be there for another decade or more. I could not believe how smooth and graceful she was moving across the court, up and back, side to side. Her forehand has great variety, and she can really let one fly when she needs to. Her backhand was especially good, and the intricacies of hitting one from a wheelchair make it even more amazing. I found myself mesmerized, forgetting that she was handicapped. I just got lost in watching how she stroked and sliced ball after ball and how effortless it looked.

As an ambulatory player myself of adequate ability, I know how hard it is to play this great game with all of your appendages functioning well. It is clear to me that her abilities far exceed mine, as it takes much more skill to play from where she does. Her hitting partner today, Frenchman Michael Jeremiasz, the number two professional men's wheelchair player in the world, had equally high praise for her game. His game isn't too shabby, either, and he can hit a serve better then 90-percent of all the college and high school players I have ever coached. It really was very easy to forget about the seat with wheels that propelled him across the court and just marvel at how complete his game was and how much variety he had in his strokes.

The truth and real shame about these two players is that while their "healthy" counterparts make millions in prize money and endorsements, these players toil in relative anonymity and might make a few thousand per tournament if they are lucky enough to win one. Esther has model-quality beauty, and should be great eye candy in advertising. Maybe her only true handicap is in the minds of the companies and people who can't see past the wheelchair to the phenomenal commodity she actually is.

I found Esther and hitting partner, Michael, somewhat hidden in obscurity on practice court number seven on the grounds of the National Tennis Center. There was no crowd when I first arrived, and I think the only reason a small crowd gathered was because there was a video camera on court and people were curious. That and the appearance of Carling Bassett-Seguso on practice court six immediately next to us, hitting with her daughter. You might remember Carling more for her performance in the 1983 teen movie Spring Fever than her 1984 U.S. Open semifinal appearance. (Bonus points for those of my readers who can tell me what the movie was about.)

The fact that the USTA had added a wheelchair event as part of the U.S. Open is encouraging, but relegating it to the last few days of the Open and to the obscurity of the far courts doesn't really do these great athletes any justice. Hopefully, my column will help them get out of the shadows and more into the mainstream of professional sports.

Oh, and Esther, I'm jealous of your boyfriend. If I was only a decade or two younger...

Posted by Tom Kosinski at 2:48 PM | Comments (5)

September 10, 2005

Deion Primed For the Cause

Former Dallas Cowboy head coach Jimmy Johnson used to remind his players that, "If you walk the walk, you can talk the talk." Deion Sanders embraced this type of self-promoting, egotistical, blabbering-boxing-esque mindset on his way to becoming the most accomplished two-sport star since Jim Thorpe.

Sanders was special — and he knew it.

There was nothing more distinctly-Deion than when he would return one his NFL record, 19 career returns for touchdowns. He'd wait for the kick by raising his arms up as if to ask the crowd to "look at me." Then, after fielding the punt it was like he was a mouse weaving though a cluster of colossal men. These 300-pound machines futilely trying to catch the mouse with their bare hands. They had no chance. He was gone.

And just as the crowd thought they had witnessed something truly remarkable, Deion would so graciously provide them more time to reflect on what he had just accomplished — as he high-stepped the last few yards and into the end zone.

An eight-time Pro Bowler and two-time Super Bowl champion, Deion Sanders was an extravagant, gaudy, egomaniacal superstar athlete. His combination of talent and his flair to say and do the extreme made him a media-hound.

As a senior at Florida State, he showed up to one game against rival Florida wearing a garish suit as he emerged from a sparkling white limousine.

As the Atlanta Falcons made him their first-round draft pick in 1989, Sanders strutted up to the podium with Mr. T's jewelry and a black suit with the words "Prime Time" so humbly embroidered on.

Deion Sanders was all about the spotlight in his time in the NFL and Major League Baseball. Although far more accomplished in football, Deion was an extraordinary base-stealer (186 SBs) in his nine big-league seasons. If Deion could, he would probably have had the bat-boy roll out a red carpet as he made his way to the batters' box. That was Deion, the man affectionately nicknamed "Prime Time."

Prime Time loved to be first and only.

He was the first and only player to play in a Super Bowl and World Series.

He was the first and only player to hit a home run and score an NFL touchdown in the same week.

He was the first and only player to catch a pass and make an interception in the Super Bowl.

And, he was even the first and only NFL Pro-Bowler to host the Miss America pageant.

Now with the 2005 NFL season upon us, Deion Sanders is 38-years-old. He is well past his prime as his Hall of Fame career is strutting into the sunset. Now a veteran member of the Baltimore Ravens, he isn't the best defensive player on his own team. He isn't even the loudest player on his own team. And, he definitely doesn't come close to the sub 4.3-second 40-yard dash he used to unleash at Florida State.

Prime Time was never known as a good tackler, even when he was considered the greatest cover corner in the sport. And now, at close to 40, Deion is attempting the biggest tackle of his career.

Last week, Deion Sanders asked all professional athletes to donate at least $1,000 apiece to benefit the victims of Hurricane Katrina.

"The recent devastation of Hurricane Katrina in the aftermath of the wrath, there has been a loss of life property, finances, homelessness, and a multitude of atrocities. The people affected by this disaster is astronomical," Sanders said.

Before this, Sanders's most famous involvement with water was when he dumped an ice cooler on broadcaster Tim McCarver for what Deion felt was unfair criticism.

Now, at this time, Sanders is poignantly asking for athletes to forget about personal stats and gripes. Forget about your houses or cars or jewelry, and help people who lost everything in the most devastating natural disaster since arguably the 1906 San Francisco Earthquake.

"As citizens of this country, we need to unite to help our brothers and sister in their time of need," Sanders told reporters. "We must all stretch the boundaries of the giving as far as we are able to, knowing we will enrich the lives of others."

This time, however, if Sanders is going to make the greatest tackle of his career, he will have to be assisted. This time, he doesn't care about being the first and only.

Posted by Billy Davis at 11:38 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

Skating Without a Captain

I remember walking around my old neighborhood in suburban New Jersey with a pair of headphones on, trying to keep the static to a minimum as I listened to Mike Francesa and Christopher "Mad Dog" Russo on WFAN out of the Big Apple.

It was Sept. 1991. In between discussions about whether Gregg Jefferies could ever be a competent second baseman for the Mets and if the Knicks were one player away from getting Patrick Ewing his ring, there was actually some hockey talk. And it went a little something like this:

Mike: "Dog, this just in: Arbitrator Judge Edward J. Houston has awarded Scott Stevens to the Devils from the Blues as compensation for Brendan Shanahan."

Dog: "I just don't think Kevin Bass offers Will Clark much protection in the Giants' lineup, do you Mikey?" (Just kidding.)

As a Devils fan, I remember being shocked. Not that the judge had decided Stevens — rather than St. Louis' offer of Rod Brind'Amour, Curtis Joseph, and two conditional draft picks — was proper compensation for the Blues' pilfering of rising star Shanahan from New Jersey. Rather, I was stunned that WFAN (or really any New York media outlet) was discussing the Devils outside of their annual games against the Rangers and Islanders.

In 1991, the Devils were known for four things:

1. Being an organization Wayne Gretzky famously called "Mickey Mouse," which is akin to Julia Child comparing your soufflé to a piece of cat feces.

2. One gloriously-memorable appearance in the 1988 postseason that captivated the hockey world until the team came up short in the conference finals against Boston. So like San Jose, Minnesota, and dozens of other Cinderellas who never made it to the ball, the Devils were soon forgotten.

3. Being the team with all those Russians.

4. Not being the Rangers, whose formidable shadow stretched all the way through the Lincoln Tunnel and covered the franchise and its fan base.

Stevens changed all of that. He gave this franchise a face, a name, a personality. He gave it an attitude, a focus, a temperament. He gave it everything he had for 13 seasons, and there is a trio of Stanley Cup championship banners dangling from the Meadowlands' rafters that might as well have his picture on them.

Stevens retired this week. He's going to enter the Hockey Hall of Fame as the best defenseman of his generation. Ray Bourque was the best player who happened to also play defense — but if you needed a shadow, needed a stop, needed someone knocked out, you wanted Stevens. The fact he never won a Norris Trophy basically makes that award irrelevant.

There was a time when Stevens didn't have the gravitas he has today. His career, in many ways, mimicked the path the Devils have taken as a franchise over the last two decades: young hothead with enormous potential who only found a way to win after finding that delicate balance between discipline and intensity.

When the Devils plucked him from the Blues, he didn't want to come to New Jersey. (Insert stereotypical joke about the smell, please.) He was stunned, bitter. His agent threatened a boycott that would only end if general manager Lou Lamoriello traded Stevens back to St. Louis.

Before training camp ended in 1991, Stevens arrived. He ended up third on the team with 124 penalty minutes.

Every single season after that, Stevens's penalty minute total would decrease. Like the Devils, he was figuring out a way to play his style of hockey without playing reckless hockey, and the team that was all-too-easily goaded into taking a bad penalty in a critical spot was maturing along with him.

By 1995, Stevens had become the cornerstone of an impressive defensive unit. Players like Ken Daneyko and Bruce Driver had been with New Jersey for over a decade. They were great players, but they weren't stars. Stevens was, and he made the entire unit better.

One of his greatest moments as a Devil came that season in the Stanley Cup playoffs, against Philadelphia in the Eastern Conference finals. Stevens was skating out from behind his own net to the left wing boards. Flyers center Eric Lindros — who, at the time, was running as many players a game as Stevens did as a rookie with Washington — went from meandering in front of the net to a full-on speed skate toward Stevens. The Devils captain moved the puck ahead, and was promptly battered by a Lindros elbow to the face.

The fans cheered, the referee raised his arm for a penalty ... and Stevens laughed. Getting off the ice, adjusting his helmet, bleeding from a cut above his right eye, Stevens had a grin of satisfaction that can only come when a player knows he hasn't just gotten into the head of his opponent, but has set up a base camp in his cerebral cortex.

It was a perfect example of what Devils hockey had become. Those legions of jealous fans that slam New Jersey for "clutch and grab trap hockey" never understood how oxymoronic that stereotype is. The trap, when the Devils actually did use the system, demanded quickness and the ability to transition from offense to defense. While any Neanderthal, or Tie Domi, can water-ski behind an opponent with the hook of his stick all game, playing solid defensive hockey is much more cerebral. With Stevens leading the charge, the Devils turned it into an art form.

(And like most art, it was boring. At times, really boring. I'm fan enough to admit it. Rooting for the Devils is like being a soccer fan: the nuances of the game are sublime to the partisans and painful to the masses. But would I trade three Cups for some flashy Gary Bettman hockey piece of garbage that scores eight goals a game and gives up just as many? Hell no!)

The term "lead by example" is a bit of a cliché, especially when coaches often use it to cover for a player who simply doesn't have the balls to lead in the locker room. But for Stevens, it fit: he wasn't the ultimate "rah-rah" guy. It's what he did on the ice, and when he did it, that counted. Like that goal against Pittsburgh in the '95 playoffs. Like laying out Kozlov in the 1995 Finals, and then saying "you're next" to the Red Wings' bench. Or in 2000, teaching Lindros to never put his head down in the middle of the ice during the playoffs.

How much Stevens contributed to New Jersey's success is up for discussion. In Devils' fan circles, it's an endless debate, like Bud vs. Miller, "The Godfather Part I" vs. "The Godfather Part II," "Sonny vs. Sammy" (for you Redskins fans), and "Joel vs. Mike" (you my fellow MST3K fans).

The debate? Martin Brodeur vs. The System.

You can't have it both ways. Either Marty Brodeur is one of the greatest goalies in the history of hockey, or he's the direct beneficiary of a defensive system and all-star players like Stevens and Scott Niedermayer in front of him.

Stevens and Niedermayer are gone. So perhaps the debate ends this season.

Wherever this franchise is headed, Stevens personified the Devils during his time in New Jersey. Like Jason Kidd personified the Nets. Like Joe Namath personified the Jets.

When Namath left, so did the team's counter-culture tenacity. They became just another team with a glorious past.

As a Devils fan, I hope history doesn't repeat itself.

As For the Super Bowl...

I actually heard someone — and I think it was Dan Patrick — say they'd take the Ravens to win it all if Trent Dilfer, rather than Kyle Boller, was the quarterback.

Please. Boller hasn't exactly had an embarrassment of riches in the receiving corps. Dilfer, amazingly, had more talent when the Ravens won the Super Bowl in 2000, and his top receiver was Qadry Ismail.

That changes this year for Boller. Out goes choke artist Travis Taylor, in come Derrick Mason and rookie Mark Clayton. The offense, under new coordinator Jim Fassel and powered by some kid named Jamal Lewis, is going to be better than expected.

The defense, meanwhile, will be the best in football.

So I like the Ravens out of the AFC. What about the NFC?

The talk begins, and ends, with Philly.

As much as it pains me to see them succeed (c'mon, I'm Central Jersey, not South Jersey), there's simply no other team in the conference with the balance and talent of the Eagles.

I don't buy into this T.O./Donovan McNabb circus. It's a tad ridiculous to think that, when push comes to shove, these guys aren't going to function as professionals. I do buy the fact that McNabb has yet to prove he can lead a team to a ring.

So it'll be the Battle of the Birds in the Bowl. And what about the Patriots?

Well, as I edit this piece, the Oakland/New England game is on in the background. And for the first time in four seasons, they just called a defensive holding penalty on a Patriots cornerback.

So maybe, just maybe, things will be different this year.

Greg Wyshynski is the Features Editor for SportsFan Magazine in Washington, DC, and the Senior Sports Editor for The Connection Newspapers of Northern Virginia. His book "Glow Pucks and 10-Cent Beer: The 101 Worst Ideas in Sports History" will be published in Spring 2006. His columns appear every Saturday on Sports Central. You can e-mail Greg at [email protected].

Posted by Greg Wyshynski at 11:29 PM | Comments (0)

2005 NFL Preview: Washington Redskins

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Last Year

After Norv Turner, Marty Schottenheimer, and Steve Spurrier, it seemed like Redskins owner Daniel Snyder could pull no more coaching surprises. Then came Joe Gibbs. After taking some time off from the NFL, the renowned Redskins coach returned to the new era, which was somewhat harsh to him in his first season. Running back Clinton Portis stumbled along with the rest of the offense leaving the Redskins desperate for points on several occasions. There's no question that Washington can hang their hat on the defense, but will the offense oblige this year?

What We Learned From Last Year

The Redskins were one of the few teams stung by the injury bug in the preseason when tackle Jon Jansen ruptured his Achilles tendon and was lost for the year.

The loss was key as the offensive line was not exactly a strength and with no depth behind Jansen, a domino effect was felt.

Running back Clinton Portis, who was acquired in a summer blockbuster trade for cornerback Champ Bailey, was directly affected by the weak front. His yards per carry average was well above 5 in his first two seasons in Denver, but dropped to 3.8 last year.

The quarterback situation was a complete disaster as the one-two punch of Mark Brunell and Patrick Ramsey failed. Brunell was brought in as a veteran presence to start, but looked distraught in the offense. He started the first nine games of the season before Ramsey relieved him in the ninth game. His statistics were atrocious as he completed less than 50% of his passes.

Ramsey stepped into the lineup and started the remainder of the season, but his numbers were not much better. While his completion percentage was superior (62.1%), he threw too many interceptions and his interception percentage was one of the highest in the league.

If the quarterbacks and running backs struggle, you can only assume that the wide receivers would be next in line. Laveranues Coles was a big signing for the Redskins in the offseason, but his 90 receptions amassed only 950 yards and 1 touchdown. Prior to last season, he didn't average less than 14 yards per catch in any season.

While the Redskins labored to score on offense and only averaged 15 points per game (31st in NFL), the defense was a pleasant surprise.

Defensive coordinator Gregg Williams and his aggressive scheming led this squad to the third-best ranking in the NFL. Most people didn't expect the 29th-ranked defense to climb 26 spots after Champ Bailey was traded.

But Williams was a mastermind and proved that the personnel did not matter so much. The Redskins endured some nicks and cuts on the defensive side of the ball and have a fairly ordinary defensive line, but no matter who was out there, the Redskins were still difficult to score against. Pro Bowl linebacker LaVar Arrington only played in four games and even though he is the defense's best player, he was not overly missed.

The pressure was consistent as they collected 40 sacks, but there was no one dominant presence. Tackle Cornelius Griffin led the way with six.

Linebacker Marcus Washington proved to be a good fit for Williams' defense as he finished second on the team in tackles and sacks.

This was not simply a good defense, as the year progressed, they were downright dominant. Opponents were only converting 31% of third downs (second-best in NFL), averaging only 4.4 yards per play (also second-best), and Washington did not help them out with unintelligent penalties (fourth-best).

All of that led to only 28:41 of playing time for the defense, which kept them very fresh and gave the offense several opportunities.

The Redskins were only 3-6 under Brunell, but won three of their last six games under Ramsey with their losses coming by a combined 15 points. Maybe they have a little momentum on their side.

This Year

Last year, the secondary lost Champ Bailey and was adequately replaced by Shaun Springs. This year, the secondary loses Fred Smoot, but a sufficient replacement was found.

Walt Harris does not talk a lot of trash, he's not flashy or flamboyant, but he gets the job done. First-round pick Carlos Rogers will play the nickel role until he is ready to start. He has looked good in the preseason and has one of two Redskins interceptions.

Safety Sean Taylor is a growing force in the league and assuming his trial is postponed until after the season, will have a more integral part of the team. He is excellent in coverage and should emerge as the best playmaker in the secondary. At strong safety, two hard-hitters, Matt Bowen and Ryan Clark, will likely split time.

While the secondary as a whole might be improved if Taylor and Rogers can mature quickly, the linebacking corps also looks enhanced compared to last year's cast.

LaVar Arrington will reclaim his job from Warrick Holdman on the weak side, while Pro-Bowler Mike Peterson returns on the strong side. Little known Lemar Marshall will start in the middle. He was very steady last season finishing with 69 tackles and 1.5 sacks in 14 starts. Holdman is versatile and could still be a starter.

The defensive line for the Redskins remains a group of no-names, but their effectiveness is a testament to the defensive coaching staff.

Virtually the same crew returns led by Cornelius Griffin. He is roadblock in the running game and has the ability to get to the quarterback — he could have been a Pro Bowl selection last year. Phillip Daniels returns from an injury that limited him to only five games. The starting combination of him and Renaldo Wynn are exactly a dream come true, but both can generate some pressure.

Gregg Williams does an excellent job of putting players in the best position to succeed. He hides their weaknesses and exploits their strengths — very New England Patriot-like.

The defense should be advanced and it's hard to imagine the offense being any worse than last year.

With the addition of free agent center Casey Rabach, who is an upgrade over Corey Raymer, the Redskins do have an above-average offensive line. Tackle Chris Samuels is Pro Bowl-caliber and with a healthy Jon Jansen, the ready will be sturdy on the outside. Derrick Dockery is still a decent starter with lots of potential, while Randy Thomas is very reliable.

This unit turns from a weakness to a strength and they only permitted five sacks in four preseason games. Testing the depth is not suggested.

Patrick Ramsey was immediately named the starting quarterback at the end of last season, but he is skating on thin ice. He has been hot and cold in the four exhibition games with two touchdowns and four interceptions. He should be a decent starter if the running game can flourish behind him.

Mark Brunell has looked rejuvenated in the offseason, but he will likely be an emergency starter. If Ramsey struggles and the team falls out of contention, first-round pick Jason Campbell will get into the lineup.

Some questioned whether trading so many draft picks for Jason Campbell was a good decision, but the Redskins feel they are pretty much a complete team. With a stout defense, a strong offensive line, and a stud running back, it's hard to argue with them. With a high-quality quarterback, this is easily a playoff team in the NFC.

The Redskins traded Laveranues Coles and Rod Gardner in the offseason, which seems to have left them somewhat short of talent. Santana Moss is a speedy wideout and ex-New England Patriot David Patten is more of the same. Both can get downfield without any problems, but they are easily pushed around. Kevin Dyson is the team's only receiver over six feet of height, so red zone situations could be problematic.

With a strong offensive line, the Redskins should be at least a win or two better, but their playoff hopes rely on Patrick Ramsey's ability to limit his mistakes and take care of the football.

Over/Under: 7.5

Trusting Patrick Ramsey with your money is not a good idea, but if the Redskins can heavily emphasize Clinton Portis and keep the attention off of Ramsey, it may not necessarily be a bad idea, either. With four good coaches manning four improved teams, there are no easy wins in the NFC East. They play: CHI, SEA, @DEN, @KC, SF, @TB, OAK, SD, @STL, and @ARZ.

Fantasy Sleeper

It is never advisable to draft players from a lackadaisical offense, but keep in mind that somebody has to make plays. Santana Moss played in a conservative offense under Paul Hackett in New York, but still managed just under 2,000 yards receiving and 15 touchdowns in the past two seasons. He should see the bulk of the passes in Washington.

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Posted by Dave Golokhov at 4:24 PM | Comments (0)

2005 NFL Preview: Tennessee Titans

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Last Year

A 12-4 record, a co-MVP at quarterback, and an appearance in the second-round of the playoffs turned to dust in the 2004 season as the Tennessee Titans experienced one of the stiffest declines among NFL teams. First, the salary cap and then injuries ravaged the already-limited talent pool and the Titans only managed to win five games. Even though the Titans are one of the better-coached teams and are always wise in the draft, this looks like a rebuilding season.

What We Learned From Last Year

The season started okay for the Titans as they won their opener in Miami. Then they ran into a streak of difficult opponents.

First Indianapolis, then Jacksonville, followed by a trip to San Diego, all of which resulted in losses. They would only win two more times before their Week 9 bye and by that time injuries started to mount.

Guard Zach Piller, wide receiver Tyrone Calico, and linebacker Peter Sirmon were already lost for the year, quarterback Steve McNair and running back Chris Brown missed a few games early in the season and were not in the lineup after Week 12, defensive tackle Albert Haynesworth only played 10 games, safety Lance Schulters played in only three games, and strong safety Tank Williams played in only nine.

Team chemistry was an obvious problem not because the players did not get along, but because each week, there were new faces in new places.

Although the season turned out to be a wash, one positive that did come from last year was the fact that so many young players stepped into the lineup and in essence, fast-tracked their development.

Quarterback Billy Volek and wide receiver Drew Bennett were Tennessee's brightest stars on the offense and both surfaced as viable starters. With the lack of a capable running game late in the season, combined with a deteriorated defense, the Titans were playing from behind frequently and depended on the Volek/Bennett connection to keep them in games.

Bennett went through one superhuman stretch of three games where he tallied 517 yards and eight touchdowns, all with Volek as his quarterback.

Chris Brown was the only other starter to be uncovered in the offense as he rushed for his first 1,000-yard season, but he wasn't around to be effective all season.

On defense, emerging starters included Randy Starks, Brad Kassell, and Lamont Thompson. Starks had 4.5 sacks which ranked fifth among rookies, but that is a pretty good number for any tackle — young or seasoned. Kassell stepped into the lineup after Rocky Calmus was hurt and finished second on the team in tackles (101) and Thompson was second on the team with four interceptions. Tank Williams was also on his way to his best season before his season was cut short due to an injury.

On the defensive line, the Titans were looking for some of their young defensive ends to progress, but no one really stood out. Antwan Odom wore down as the season progressed while Travis LaBoy showed flashes, but was inconsistent. The two combined for 5.5 sacks, which is respectable for rookies. Albert Haynesworth gave indications that he has a very bright future in front of him, but for a second consecutive season, he did not play more than 12 games.

Head coach Jeff Fisher has weaved his magic before, but even the most optimistic optimists can't see him taking this team to the playoffs.

This Year

When you don't have a lot of free money under the salary cap, the best idea is to start a youth movement.

The Titans have employed that exact strategy and will depend on numerous young bodies to mature quickly.

They have 10 draft picks coming in and many will be depended on right away. The top two selections, cornerback Adam "Pacman" Jones and tackle Michael Roos, will start immediately.

The expectations are high for Jones, who will start with third-year back Andre Woolfolk. Both are unproven in prime-time roles and will have to replace last year's starters, Samari Rolle and Andre Dyson. Tony Beckham will be the primary backup and with his three years of experience in the NFL, he would be considered the veteran. Woolfolk and Jones are talented enough to be premier starters in the league, but they are not at that level yet.

Safeties Tank Williams and Lamont Thompson are more hardened as they are entering their fourth years. They are a reliable tandem and will need to pick up the slack while the corners get their feet wet.

The starting linebackers, Peter Sirmon, Brad Kassell, and Keith Bulluck are the heart of the defense. Bulluck is a sideline-to-sideline force and fires up the team with aggressive plays. Kassell is a sure-tackler and Sirmon's instincts were sorely missed last season.

On the line, Randy Starks and Albert Haynesworth have looked like a first-rate tandem, but the key is for Haynesworth to stay healthy. This combination has been dominant in the preseason. Backup Rien Long could start and is a solid pass-rusher. The end positions is where the questions lie.

There are a slew of young prospects, but someone needs to emerge. Antwan Odom is ready to burst and has had an excellent preseason with three sacks and a forced fumble. Bo Schobel and Travis LaBoy were also drafted last year and will compete for the other starting job, but have been up and down. Kyle Vanden Bosch is an adequate veteran with a non-stop motor and a strong work ethic. He will step in if the youth cannot handle the workload.

The offense feigns the same characteristics as the defense: very young and stocked with potential. The main difference is that some of that potential has fully grown.

Quarterback Steve McNair is the leader of the team and is rejuvenated mostly in part to a new offensive coordinator. Norm Chow was the brain behind the USC offense. Chow has sped up the offense with faster play-calling. He plans to use the hurry-up offense frequently to wear down opponents. McNair should be able to get to the line quickly to read the defense and has the power to audible much more than he did before.

On-lookers have wondered about the offensive line, but they have protected McNair very well in the preseason. Brad Hopkins, Zach Piller, Justin Hartwig, and Benji Olson have all impressed. McNair has released the ball very quickly which has also helped.

Chris Brown is one of the league's top running backs, but he can't seem to stay healthy. The acquisition of Travis Henry ensures the Titans a consistent running game even if Brown misses some time. Henry is much more durable and is a better running back in short-yardage situations.

McNair will get re-acquainted with Drew Bennett, who blossomed significantly with Volek as his passer. Bennett will see much more coverage now that he is the unquestioned number one. Tyrone Calico will start opposite of him and is a gifted athlete. He has the ability to be a game-breaker, but is not there yet. There is a lineup of young talent behind him with rookies Brandon Jones (third round), Courtney Roby (third round), and Roydell Williams (fourth round). All three have impressive in the exhibition games, but Williams may be the fastest to develop coming for a pro-style offense from Tulane.

The Titans are hoping that Ben Troupe can breakout since he has all the tools to be downfield threat. He has a lot of potential, while Erron Kinney is a blue-collar guy.

The Titans are depending on a large amount of young players to be successful this year, but stranger things have happened. They are more likely to be more dangerous in the second half of the season and especially next year.

Over/Under: 6.5

Tennessee has to deal with St. Louis, Indianapolis, Cincinnati, and Oakland in the first eight weeks of the season, which does not bode well for their young secondary. Nonetheless, as this team grows, this is going to be a difficult team to defeat in the second half of the season. They play: @PIT, BAL, @STL, CIN, @ARZ, OAK, @CLE, SF, SEA, and @MIA.

Fantasy Sleeper

Steve McNair was the NFL's co-MVP in 2003 where he posted 24 touchdowns and 3,215 yards in 14 games. With Norm Chow as his offensive coordinator, McNair will emerge as a solid number two fantasy quarterback. Keep in mind that he is still a threat on the ground and accounts for roughly one rushing touchdown every three games.

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Posted by Dave Golokhov at 4:20 PM | Comments (0)

September 9, 2005

Tribe Take Over First in the Wildcard

For those of you who have fallen asleep on the AL wildcard chase for the past few weeks, you may have been surprised when you looked at your newspaper Friday morning. The Cleveland Indians are in first place in the AL wildcard picture for the first time this year. The Indians have put together an impressive season in a year where they were still supposed to be rebuilding.

The Tribe have put together four-straight wins with a dramatic come-from-behind victory against the lowly Detroit Tigers last night. They've won 12 of 14 overall and are right behind the Tampa Bay Devil Rays for best record in the American League since the All-Star Break.

But how are they doing it, you may ask? How does a team that's so young, and that has little to no experience in the playoff picture make a late run in September? How does a team with a total payroll of $41.5 million dollars compete with the likes of the Yankees, who have an astronomical payroll this year of $208 million dollars? Or to put it another way, as the construction workers in Major League put it, "Who are these guys?!"

As with any good team, it starts with pitching. C.C. Sabathia has finally emerged in the second half of the season as the team's ace. After seeing his record fall from 6-4 to 6-9 in the month of July, Sabathia has won seven-straight decisions. His ERA has fallen from over 5.00 in July to a respectable 4.35.

Wednesday night's game was a perfect example of the turn-around C.C. has experienced. After getting into some early trouble against the Tigers, C.C. wiggled his way out of a first-inning bases-loaded situation. Then, after giving up a homer, Sabathia sent the next 21 batters to the bench, en route to a 10 strikeout complete game.

Along with Sabathia, the Indians throw Kevin Millwood at you as the No. 2 in the rotation. The veteran, who pitched a no-hitter while with the Phillies, has been plagued by inconsistency throughout his career. However, Millwood has been stellar for the Tribe all season, although his record doesn't reflect it. With the win yesterday, Millwood is now 7-11 on the season, but his ERA is a stingy 3.11.

The rest of the rotation has been the biggest surprise for the Tribe this season. Cliff Lee and Jake Westbrook have both shown progress following up solid 2004 seasons. Lee has made the biggest strides as he leads the team in victories with 15. It could be argued that Lee is the ace of this staff. His 3.72 ERA is significantly lower than his 5.43 mark of last season, and it is good enough for second in the rotation this year. Westbrook has been a tough luck loser a lot this season, but he still has 13 victories.

The bullpen has been a pleasant surprise for the Indians as well. Closer Bob Wickman has been the anchor once again. He's saved 37 in 42 opportunities this year, and his ERA is a minuscule 2.73. The middle relief has been great with Bob Howry, Arthur Rhodes, Scott Sauerbeck, and Rafael Betancourt holding the sixth, seventh, eighth down. Arthur Rhodes was just activated from the DL earlier this month and he has done a complete 180 from his last year in Oakland. Now that he's back in his comfort zone as a middle reliever, he has returned to form with an ERA of 1.93 in 45 games.

And despite the youth of this lineup, the bats have come alive this year for the Tribe. The Yankees' left side of the infield with A-Rod ($26 million) and Derek Jeter ($19.6 million) make more than the entire Indians team. But regardless of the small payroll, the Indians have put up excellent numbers comparable to any team in the league. GM Mark Shapiro has done a terrific job building a young lineup mostly from their own farm system, and young manager Eric Wedge has shaped this team into a winner.

Travis Hafner has produced the most power once again for the Tribe. The big first baseman and DH has now hit 25 or more home runs in each of the past two seasons. After 28 homers last year, he has 25 so far this season with 86 RBIs and a .305 batting average. Catcher Victor Martinez also didn't disappoint in his sophomore season. Vic is hitting .292 this season with 18 dongs and 69 RBIs. He's also the MLB's best hitter since the All-Star Break, hitting .380 during that stretch.

But others have stepped up in the Indians lineup, as well. Aaron Boone, who's playing his first full season since his knee injury, has 14 homers and 51 RBIs. Outfielder Casey Blake with his blast last night now has 20 homers. And shortstop Jhonny Peralta is having a break-out season in his first full year in the bigs. He's hitting .281 with 20 homers and 67 RBIs.

The Indians have had a great run, but there's still six remaining. So the big question is can they keep it up and earn their first playoff berth since 2001. In my opinion, they have just as good of a chance as the Yankees, A's, and/or the Angels.

The Indians' remaining schedule has them in series against Minnesota, Oakland, Kansas City, Chicago, Kansas City again, and Tampa Bay. The majority of those teams are in the AL Central which the Indians haven't faired that well against. Cleveland is 29-30 against Central squads. However, with the hot streak they're on there's no reason they can't sweep Kansas City and Tampa Bay in those three series. If they win half of the rest of the games against Chicago, Oakland, and Minnesota they should be there.

Oakland has the toughest road. They face Texas, Cleveland, Boston, Minnesota, Texas, and finish with the Angels. In my opinion, there will only be one AL west team in the playoffs. I think the Angels have the better lineup top-to-bottom and I think they will represent the AL West this season. The Athletics seem to be a little too young this season, but look out for them in the future.

The Yankees finish off their season with series against Boston this weekend, Tampa Bay, who has owned them, and then two series each against Baltimore and Toronto. The Yankees are 24-27 against the AL East this year and no one expects them to be much better against them in September. The Yankees' staff has been run down all season and they continue to be now. When Shawn Chacon is the ace of your staff in late September, you shouldn't be going to the playoffs.

To be honest, I want the Indians to win. I want to see someone new in there. The Yankees have been to the playoffs every year since 1994. I don't want to see them there again. I think it would be better for baseball to see a young, low-payroll team in the playoffs. Plus, I think the Indians have a better chance of making some noise. Their rotation of Sabathia, Millwood, Lee, and Westbrook is tougher than Randy Johnson, Chacon, Mike Mussina, and the combo of Al Leiter, Aaron Small, and Jae-Wong Seo. God, I never thought I'd say that, but it's true.

So who's with me? Who's ready to join the friends of the feather bandwagon? You may have to be ready because come October, it's not going to be rebuilding time anymore. The Indians are contenders now!

Posted by Chris Cornell at 7:17 PM | Comments (0)

The Chase is On

So, Terrell Owens has reached out to Donovan McNabb. He has come within inches of apologizing and now things are all better in Philadelphia. Everyone can move on. The goal is back in front of them and everyone is on the same page. Now that Owens and McNabb are close to buddy-buddy, everything has changed in Philly once again.

Not so fast.

Not because they're rough. Not because they were rough. But mainly because this is what most people had predicted from day one. Owens puts up a fight. The Eagles don't budge. Chaos ensues because the hailstorm of controversy just happens to follow T.O. around. Then everything settles and they do what they do on Sunday afternoons. They run routes, the throw passes, they catch passes.

They make touchdowns.

Things haven't changed in Philadelphia and they haven't changed in New England, either.

Not until someone comes along that is more than just a flash in the pan and knocks these model franchises down a peg can you really say that things have changed for these two teams that have been the pillars of dominance in an age where good teams come and go. They remain there. Constant.

Did Owens want a new contract? Of course. Just because he will wind up playing and playing to the best of his ability, not to mention getting along with McNabb, doesn't mean the Eagles simply called his bluff. There was no bluff. Owens did what he had to do and the Eagles did what they had to do. Feathers were ruffled during the process, but no bridges were burned.

In New England, things were less controversial. Maybe even quiet, nah, this is Boston we're talking about. They've shown every desire to replace the New York fans in the pecking order of sports. They're good right now and they'll let you know about it. And they want more.

Yes, Romeo Crennel and Charlie Weiss are out as the coordinators. That is definitely a bad thing for New England, but it would be silly to try to gauge just how bad it is before the season gets going. For now and until someone shows otherwise, the Patriots remain where they are at the top of the mountain.

There are question marks for both of these teams. However, there are decidedly fewer questions for the Eagles and Patriots to answer than the teams that are trying to catch up to them.

Plus, the most important thing, the Eagles and Patriots have both silenced their critics in the past. Both have shown the ability to take a question mark related to their team and fix what is wrong. Who else in the league can say that they make adjustments to what needs to be done better than either of these teams? Who else in the league can claim the consistency that they have both shown?

That's the thing, until someone answers their own questions, what's the point in worrying about what the Patriots and Eagles are doing? We know they're going to go out there week after week this season and we know pretty much where both teams will wind up.

Talent-wise, not wins and losses, but in the product that these two teams put on the field. We know what to expect. It's simple. Disciplined football teams that will gameplan your ears off and then when you finally think you've done something to beat them, they'll mix things up and confuse you once again. Sure, the talent has something to do with it, but this is the core of what makes these two teams something special. Everyone on that field knows what they are out there to do. More so than with any other team in the league.

There's the old "out of sight, out of mind" saying that applies to not just football. It also applies here.

With the Eagles and Patriots, the goal is never out of sight, and therefore never out of mind. They have the luxury of keeping a championship as their only goal because they've been there before.

Every time in the league aside from these two has a tough hurdle to leap before they can think of the Super Bowl. No one else can claim they are without a doubt the best in their conference until these two teams are no longer around in January.

Especially with the parity in the league right now, more and more teams are involved in this chase.

That is a part of what makes things so fun. The chase.

Posted by Doug Graham at 5:51 PM | Comments (0)

2005 NFL Preview: Tampa Bay Buccaneers

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Last Year

After the championship season was followed up by only seven wins, Tampa Bay was hoping that the bleeding would stop, but last season only produced five victories. The defense remained stout, but the offense was putrid as quarterback Brad Johnson struggled and the running game was absent. After the team had only one win in the first six weeks, they decided to chalk it up as a rebuilding season, so now we'll see what kind of infrastructure they really have.

What We Learned From Last Year

The Buccaneers were one of the teams on the short end of the salary cap stick heading into last season and had to make some key financial decisions.

One of the faces of the franchises, defensive tackle Warren Sapp, signed with Oakland. Wide receiver Keenan McCardell, the team's most productive wideout in 2003, held out for a contract and was traded midseason.

Without much spending cash, the Bucs were limited the Bucs in free agency.

On offense, Brad Johnson labored in the beginning of the season. His statistics were not poor, but he was unable to move the offense consistently enough. In fairness, he did not have much support.

Running the ball was an arduous task all season long. Charlie Garner tore his knee and Michael Pittman continued to prove he is nothing more than a third-down back.

Pittman led the team in rushing, but overall, the rushing offense finished with a 29th rank. The burden fell on the passing game and after a brief game of musical chairs between Brad Johnson and Chris Simms, Jon Gruden seemed to uncover a gem in Brian Griese.

He did have a knack for untimely interceptions, but still performed pretty well in his first season in Tampa Bay. He completed nearly 70% of his passes and had a rating of 97.5.

Rookie wide receiver Michael Clayton came to light once the situation at quarterback was settled and caught 80 passes in his rookie year. Joey Galloway, who was acquired in a trade for Keyshawn Johnson, flashed his blazing speed at times, but was hindered by a groin injury.

The offensive line was the biggest impediment as the group was old and ineffective. To name some names, Todd Steussie, Derrick Deese, and Matt Stinchcomb were less than impressive.

The defense remained top-notch under the tutelage of defensive coordinator Monte Kiffin and kept the Buccaneers in all of their football games. Their average margin of defeat was just over seven points, which is definitely inspiring for a 5-11 team. The total defense was ranked fifth, which marked the 10th season that they finished in the top 10.

But even so, this defense had much room for improvement. Tackle Anthony McFarland was supposed to make the loss of Warren Sapp unnoticeable, but he only played in eight games. Behind him, Ellis Wyms only played six. The loss of both players factored greatly in the run defense permitting 123.3 rushing yards per game.

On the ends, Simeon Rice and Greg Spires were a formidable duo who combined for 20 sacks. Spires' emergence meant less attention for Rice. Derrick Brooks anchored the linebackers and remained as one of the top outside linebackers in the league. He led the team in tackles along with Shelton Quarles.

The secondary was very underrated as Ronde Barber and Brian Kelly were often overlooked as a top-flight duo, but they clearly were. Rookie Will Allen also showed some promise.

The defense held its end of the bargain, but the offense was visibly old and slow. The good news is that they have hit rock-bottom and are now back on the way up.

This Year

All eyes will be on Carnell "Cadillac" Williams as the rookie running back will hold the keys to much of the offense's success.

Jon Gruden is a bright offensive mind and if he is confident in the kid, there shouldn't be much doubt amongst anyone else.

The Bucs have ranked in the basement of the NFL in rushing yards the past two seasons and the addition of Williams should change that. Michael Pittman also stands to benefit since he won't be overused. Mike Alstott doesn't seem to fit into the plans anymore.

Brian Griese returns as the team's main quarterback, but he needs to cut down the ill-timed interceptions. Gruden has worked magic with veteran signal-callers like Rich Gannon and Brad Johnson before, so look for Griese to be the next in line.

Michael Clayton figures to be the top target, but he'll have some company this year. Joey Galloway still has great deep speed, but the team needs him to stay healthy so that Clayton and veteran Ike Hilliard have room underneath. Galloway is known to be injury-prone, though. If he gets hurt, there are no downfield threats.

Tight ends Anthony Becht and Alex Smith provide the Bucs with an excellent one-two punch. Becht is reliable for short routes and is an above-average run-blocker, while Smith possesses the separating speed. Two-tight end sets could cause some problems for opponents.

But while all the extremities are sexy, the guts of the offense are unattractive. The offensive line is still a weakness.

The interior youth movement has begun and it is about time. Anthony Davis, who is in his second-year, will start at left tackle, and rookies Dan Buenning and Chris Colmer will push for time and quite possibly start at right guard and right tackle. The talent is now present, but the youth will take time to develop. Right tackle Kenyatta Walker may finally break that streak of inconsistency since this is a contract year.

As a whole, the offense looks much improved, but a shaky offensive line could throw a big kink into the plans. The line on defense will also be a crucial part of any success.

Anthony McFarland needs to play a full 16 games for the Bucs, something he has only done twice in his six seasons in the NFL.

He demands double-teams as a tackle and is a clog in the running game. Chris Hovan was signed as a free agent after the Minnesota Vikings lost interest in their former first-round pick. Monte Kiffin is a motivator and should reap some more talent out of him. With Ellis Wyms and rookie Anthony Bryant, the Bucs are fairly deep at this position.

Greg Spires and Simeon Rice return on the ends and would really profit from a full season from McFarland. Backup DeWayne White has shown a knack as a pass-rushing specialist.

Ronde Barber, Brian Kelly, Derrick Brooks, and Shelton Quarles all return to the defense, but are not spring chickens anymore. Kelly is the youngest at the age of 29. These four starters still have much to give, but age is will start to factor for Quarles (34) and Brooks (32).

Youth is on the way as second-round pick Barrett Ruud has been heavily praised ever since he was drafted. He is NFL-ready and will eventually take over for Quarles. Fourth-year linebacker Ryan Nece will start on the weak side.

Safeties Jermaine Phillips and Dexter Jackson are vital to the Bucs cover-two scheme and are a proficient tandem, even though they are not great in coverage.

The Bucs will need to find some consistency out of Matt Bryant or NFL Europe star Todd France, as place kicking was a liability for the team last year.

The top-rated defense appears to have improved and the offense will definitely be better, but it is uncertain how much. The Bucs now have a young corps of players to get excited about but the offensive line still causes too much anxiety to project a playoff appearance for this coming season.

Over/Under: 7

The schedule isn't exactly daunting for the Bucs, but there are no easy wins in their division. They play: @MIN, BUF, @GB, DET, @NYJ, MIA, @SF, WAS, CHI, and @NE. This may not be a playoff team, but this squad will not be a pushover at any point in the season.

Fantasy Sleeper

In 10 games started last season, Brian Griese threw for 2,632 yards and 20 touchdowns. Fleshed out over a full season, that is over 4,200 yards and 32 touchdowns. Just remember what Jon Gruden has done with other veteran quarterbacks like Rich Gannon and Brad Johnson.

Stay tuned as Dave Golokhov brings you previews for all 32 NFL teams! Sponsored by CyberSportsbook.com, a great casino for horse racing and sportsbook action.

Posted by Dave Golokhov at 4:45 PM | Comments (0)

What is This About Andy's Mojo?

Maybe it's just me, but I just don't get it. Maria Sharapova made a joke about it during the post-match interview after her win over Nadia Petrova in the quarters, so she must get it. So, what the heck is Andy's Mojo, and who in the world really cares? In what has to be the most insipid tennis inspired commercial I have ever seen in my entire life, American Express took a gamble that I hope doesn't bankrupt them. I hope this one isn't one of Donny Deutch's.

The most-played commercial by far during the first week of the U.S. Open, and I am sure you all agree, is this stupid little short about Andy Roddick's "Mojo." First, they have Andy trying on a cowboy hat in his room, and then putting it down as if it isn't for him. Next thing we see is Andy in bed sleeping, and some guy emerges from Andy and goes out and parties all night and day.

I don't get it. They guy doesn't even look remotely like A-Rod to start with, and I'm still trying to put the two together in any way. Who really cares if some part of Andy Roddick's soul decides to get out and party before the Open, and who cares if he is missing or can't be located? I have relatives who party harder, get up earlier, and generally abuse themselves a lot more. So Andy's Mojo, so what?

So they find Andy's Mojo. Hell, even in the first commercial, he wasn't exactly hidden. And again, the ugly dude playing "Mojo" wasn't like a clone, either. And the press conference when they find "Mojo?" What the heck does "Mojo, redemption doesn't hit the snooze button" mean, anyway? Whose redemption? Does someone need redemption? If anyone needs redemption, its not Andy's Mojo, it's Andy himself.

After getting himself whooped in the first round my Mr. Relative Obscurity, Gilles Muller, all I can say is that Andy's Mojo made it further during the Open then Andy did, and will probably make the final day while the real Andy sits somewhere sipping tea and wondering why he ever let Mandy Moore get away anyway.

Mojo at least made a respectable showing at the Open. Lexus and American Express must have mortgaged their souls to use Roddick's name and likeness, and he let them down big-time. The least he could have done is hung around for most of the two weeks and did a whole bunch of personal appearances signing autographs at the Lacoste boutique, or actually taking pictures with customers instead of a superimposed Andy at the Lexus stand.

The commercials have finally stopped, and not a moment too soon for me. Now Andy's Mojo is free to come and party with me...

Posted by Tom Kosinski at 3:57 PM | Comments (3)

September 8, 2005

2005 NFL Preview: St. Louis Rams

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Last Year

An up-and-down season finished up for St. Louis as they made a trip to the second round of the playoffs. The Seattle Seahawks may have won the battle of winning the division, but the Rams won the war by defeating their neighboring rival three times, including a meeting in the postseason. Inconsistency, game management, and defense were persistent issues for the Rams, but those issues will always hinder the Rams from success while Mike Martz is the head coach.

What We Learned From Last Year

There are not many coaches in the NFL that are as careless as Mike Martz and his slapdash demeanor has seeped into the on-field product of his team.

Last year, the Rams had enough talent to finish at least 10-6 in a conference that featured only four winning teams, yet somehow they slid to 8-8.

Not somehow, there are many reasons for it.

The carelessness is best displayed by the team's league-worst (-24) turnover ratio. While it is true that the defense was abysmal and only forced 15 takeaways, the offense was extremely reckless with the ball.

They finished fourth in the league in giveaways with 22 interceptions and 17 fumbles.

The Rams are in pretty dreadful company when you look at the teams that posted comparable numbers. For interceptions, only Miami and Dallas threw more and for fumbles, Chicago, Cleveland, San Francisco, and Tampa Bay are the only teams who finished with more.

But those teams were all extremely offensively-challenged. Dallas, Miami, and Chicago didn't have starting quarterbacks while Cleveland and San Francisco were overall disasters.

Yes, Chris Chandler and his eight interceptions did inflate the interception total, but Mike Martz's mysterious obsession with passing the ball was also a factor.

The Rams had as many pass attempts as teams like Miami and Oakland, but the difference was that they actually had reliable running backs that could play. In other words, while the Dolphins and Raiders were forced into passing (because of the lack of a legitimate running back), the Rams just did it by choice.

And that is exactly the type of Mike Martz conundrum that no one will ever understand.

Last year, they drafted a running back in the first-round of the draft — which was a questionable move to begin with since Marshall Faulk was still on the roster and the defense was clearly talent-deficient — but let us just say, for argument's sake, that it was a good idea.

So now the Rams had two high-quality running backs.

Question: why the heck did they have the third-least amount of rushing attempts in the NFL last year?

Steven Jackson was NFL-ready from day one and did not need much time to mature. If the Rams wanted to pound him or Marshall Faulk all year long, they could have. Instead, they foolishly stuck with the pass.

In the last three years, the Rams have ranked 30th, 28th, and 32nd in rush attempts, which simply does not make sense.

The Rams were in the second round of the playoffs last year, but more of it had to do with luck than success. Aside from the Seattle Seahawks, who can't seem to defeat the Rams, St. Louis beat only one quality opponent.

They defeated San Francisco twice, Arizona, Tampa Bay, a Philadelphia team without any of its starters, and barely scraped by the New York Jets in Week 17.

That the Rams offensive line was one of the weakest in the NFL was a big misconception. Orlando Pace is a Pro Bowler, while Adam Timmerman and center Andy McCollum are good starters. But any offensive line will wear down if they are constantly in pass protection. Running the ball lets them grind the defense into the ground instead of forcing them to sustain for long periods of time.

Sure, the defense was a setback every game, but the key note to bring into the coming season was Martz's questionable emphasis on passing the ball and his incomprehensible choice to shy away from the run.

This Year

For a defense already short of talent, losing starting cornerback Jerametrius Butler to a season-ending injury is crippling. Last year's defense only had six interceptions and he had five of them.

Travis Fisher and DeJuan Groce will start, but both are not good enough to start. Fisher is undersized and is easily exploited by tall receivers. Groce is also short and can be beaten on deep routes. Kevin Garrett is more of the same. Rookie Ronald Bartell is the team's only cornerback taller than 5-10.

Last year, St. Louis was used as a treadmill by opposing running backs and will hope that that problem can be solved in-house. Damione Lewis, Ryan Pickett, and Jimmy Kennedy are all defensive tackles that were selected in the first-round who will be counted on.

Pickett had his best season last year and looked to be a good run-stuffer, but he came to training camp overweight this year and hurt his back. This is an injury that will linger and affect his play. Lewis has been a bust, which leaves Kennedy to hold the fort. He came on strong at the end of the season, but is still inconsistent. Nonetheless, the coaching staff is expecting big things from him.

Defensive end Leonard Little is still the only dominant player on the line and the team will look to Anthony Hargrove to replace Bryce Fisher in the role opposite of Little.

The linebackers have significantly improved as Dexter Coakley and Chris Claiborne are welcomed as free agents. With Pisa Tinoisamoa on the outside, this is definitely the strength of the defense. Claiborne is used to dealing with a lot of blockers, so he is a fit for this defense. Coakley, on the other hand, is not and is coming off of a rough season. There will be plenty of tackles to go around for this trio.

Adam Archuleta is a playmaker at strong safety, but free safety will be an Achilles heel.

Depth is a pressing concern everywhere. Although the defense is just as porous as last year's, we all know that the offense is the bread and butter.

The team spent their first-round pick on an offensive tackle to shore up the protection for Marc Bulger, which is an astute decision considering how much they throw the ball. Alex Barron is expected to start at right tackle, but he has been less than impressive in the preseason. Orlando Pace, Adam Timmerman, and Andy McCollum return and rookie Claude Terrell will start at left guard. Veteran guard Tom Nutten is back from retirement and versatile linemen Rex Tucker and Blaine Saipaia provide some decent depth.

Well, the line is sturdy and there is a young buck running back ready to blossom, but will Martz run the ball?

The wide receiving corps is as deep as it has been in a long time, so the signs don't exactly point to yes.

Dane Looker, Shaun McDonald, and Kevin Curtis are all good enough to exploit nickel and dime backs, which will tempt Martz call passing plays.

But if the Rams are to be a real contender, they will need to run the ball consistently, milk the clock, and keep their defense off the field.

Bulger looks to be in for a career year, but if the running game is not fully employed, then this team will not be successful.

Considering the defense ranked last in the league in turnovers a season ago and could equal that feat again, offensive turnovers need to be minimized.

Overall, this is just not a well-run football team outside of the passing game. The potential to be a serious competitor is there if they change their ways, but Martz is stubborn.

They better find a way to win on the road or 8-8 will be a good season.

Over/Under: 8.5

In the six road games that the Rams lost last year, their average margin of defeat was just under 20 points. Matter of fact, they have only won seven of their last 24 road games. The better teams in the league find a way to win away from their cozy confines and St. Louis needs to do the same if they plan on competing. They play: TEN, @NYG, @IND, NO, JAX, @HOU, WAS, @MIN, PHI, and @DAL.

Fantasy Sleeper

There's no question that Steven Jackson is going to be an NFL superstar, it just depends on how big of a workload Mike Martz will give him. Marshall Faulk has asked to be the backup, so don't worry about splitting carries. Jackson has a unique blend of power and speed and will run wild as defenses are loosened up by the passing game.

Stay tuned as Dave Golokhov brings you previews for all 32 NFL teams! Sponsored by CyberSportsbook.com, a great casino for horse racing and sportsbook action.

Posted by Dave Golokhov at 4:13 PM | Comments (0)

NFL Weekly Predictions: Week 1 (Part 2)

Note: The quotes in this article are fictional.

New Orleans @ Carolina

The Panthers are back, and they all have a slip of paper signed by their doctor signifying that they have passed their physicals. And I don't mean one of those rinky-dink physicals you get as a 10-year old, in which a doctor simply takes your blood pressure and deems you fit to play sports. I'm talking about the full Monty — the turn your head and cough, bend over, and say "ahh" full work-up physicals, rendered by a scary man in scrubs.

"My broken leg has healed totally," says wide receiver Steve Smith, "but I seem to have developed a sudden fear of latex gloves."

The Panthers are the pick of many to win the NFC Championship, if not the Super Bowl. If you're not a Panther fan and you disagree with that assessment, then you're likely to state to a person taking Carolina all the way that "you must be on crack."

"I must confess that I take issue with that statement," says Panther coach John Fox. "Sure, we all know crack heads can't keep a job, are very slovenly, and are unfit parents, but what makes us think a crack head isn't qualified to make a Super Bowl prediction? Huh? It's downright discriminatory."

He's got a point. But here's another: "crack" is what kept the Panthers out of the playoffs last year. The "crack" of bone snapping, that is. But the casts are off, and the Cats are anxious to return to Super Bowl form. And the chances of that are much greater than the odds of running back Stephen Davis' knee holding up for an entire year.

Jake Delhomme connects with favorite target Smith for a long score, and defensive end Julius Peppers, also known as the world's greatest 290-pound athlete, picks Saints' QB Aaron Smith and scores. And when I say "pick," I don't mean interception. I mean Peppers, who played also played basketball at North Carolina, steals the ball from Brooks, who was dribbling the pigskin for some reason.

Panthers win 27,-17.

N.Y. Jets @ Kansas City

The Chiefs spent the offseason upgrading their defense, acquiring linebacker Kendrell Bell, safety Sammie Knight, and corner Patrick Surtain via free agency, and drafting lightning-quick Texas linebacker Derrick Johnson. Johnson hopes he can make an immediate impact, and help the Chiefs return to the playoffs after a year's absence.

"I've heard all the jokes before," says Johnson, "about how the K.C. offense could put up 1,000 points, and the defense would give up 1,001. Well, no more. This year, my fellow defenders and I are adopting the motto 'Three and out' as our rallying cry."

"That kind of motivation brings tears to my eyes," says soft-hearted Chiefs' coach Dick Vermeil, "as do thoughts of Priest Holmes playing in week thirteen."

As usual, the K.C. offense will be potent, anchored by one of the game's best offensive lines. But there are concerns. Holmes suffered a season-ending knee injury in week 9; can he go the distance this year? Can quarterback Trent Green, who has a circulation problem in his left leg, remain injury free?

"No problem, man," insists Green. "That's not even my throwing leg."

Green's counterpart for the Jets, Chad Pennington, has his own injury concerns, particularly his right shoulder. Coach Herman Edwards has kept a watchful eye on his QB's arm, careful not to overwork it, and has ordered it iced-down after each practice.

"I tell ya'," says Edwards, "that's the most pampered right arm since Zsa Zsa Gabor slapped that Beverly Hills policeman some years back. But Chad's worth it. He's our guy. As soon as he can throw 20 yards downfield, we'll know he's back at full strength."

Pennington has been reunited with his favorite target of two years ago, Laveranues Coles. That combination, as well as the running of Curtis Martin and Derrick Alexander, should carry the Jets. Throw in the leg of rookie kicker Mike "The Gotham City Madman" Nugent, and the Jets' offense looks formidable. Nugent has found the price of fame to be bittersweet.

"If I introduce myself as 'Mike Nugent,' I'm everyone's hero," says Nugent, "but sometimes I slip up and introduce myself simply as 'the Jets' kicker.' People assume I'm last year's kicker and playoff goat Doug Brien, and I get my ass kicked."

Nugent learns what it's like in the life of Brien, as he hooks a long field goal try in the fourth quarter that would have tied the game. Holmes rushes for a short TD, and Green connects with Tony Gonzalez for another score.

Chiefs win, 27-24.

Seattle @ Jacksonville

A little ditty, about Jack Del Rio. Coach of the Jags, no relation to Miss Cleo. Jacky got a QB named Byron Leftwich, Jags missed the playoffs last year, 'son of a bitch!"

"Oh yeah, life goes on, long after the thrill of livin' is gone," sings Del Rio. "Oh yeah, say life goes on ... Oh, sorry. I got lost in the moment there. That's a great song, and Mellencamp had a name as cool as mine back when he was know simply as 'John Cougar.'"

Seattle coach Mike Holgren is known neither for his singing nor for his name. In fact, he's barely even known for his coaching. He did make one smart move in the offseason: the dismissal of troubled wide receiver Koren Robinson, who showed up for an alcoholism rehab meeting stone cold drunk. That's embarrassing. Almost as embarrassing as winning the NFC West with a 9-7 record, then losing to the Rams for the third time in the playoffs, at home, no less. Which Holmgren's Seahawks did, in a year when they were the trendy pick to represent the NFC in the Super Bowl last year. The only trend I see, in that case, is losing to the Rams.

"Hey, nobody ever said we weren't trendsetters," adds 'Hawks running back Shaun Alexander, he of the fat wallet.

The Jags will rely on Leftwich, as well as veterans Fred Taylor and Jimmy Smith. Del Rio would like to see more than just veteran leadership out of Taylor and Smith, but that may be all their wobbly legs can provide. In the end, the youthful exuberance of Matt Hasselbeck, Alexander, and Darrell Jackson is too much for the Jags. Jacksonville's reliable defense keeps them in the game, but they ultimately succumb to the downfall of all losing teams: they don't score enough points.

Seattle wins, 28-22.

After the game, a dejected Del Rio sucks on chilidogs outside the Tastee Freeze.

Tampa Bay @ Minnesota

What do you call the Vikings without Randy Moss? I don't know, but whatever you call them, it doesn't include the word "controversial," nor does it include anything related to mooning, squirting water on an official, leaving the field before a game ends, running over a parking attendant, and general subordination. But before we condemn Moss as the root of Minnesota's problems, let's take a look at some interesting developments that took place over the offseason.

One, running back Onterrio Smith was busted trying to smuggle some contraption called "The Whizzinator" through an airport. Head coach Mike Tice was caught scalping his Super Bowl tickets. Now, I'm sure Moss thought about doing these things, but he wisely chose not to, and promptly took off for Oakland, where players are well-known for making the right decisions, right Barrett Robbins? Moss' slack (or slackness) will be picked up by the recently signed Koren Robinson, who may have trouble catching balls, but has no problem at all with highballs.

Anyway, the Vikings are now, without a doubt, Daunte Culpepper's team. And that's a good thing. Culpepper won't feel the pressure to put 35 points on the board every game, as the Vikes now have a pretty good defense, on paper. But Culpepper won't have the luxury of just tossing the ball 60 yards downfield and expecting Moss to go up and grab it. He'll have to be more precise with his passes, and may be relied upon more to run the ball.

"It all adds up to three things," says Culpepper. "M-V-P."

Culpepper tosses two touchdowns and runs for another, while the Vikings' defense impresses, forcing two Brian Griese turnovers.

Vikes win, 34-20.

Tennessee @ Pittsburgh

What do you get when you cross Jerome Bettis and Duce Staley? A running back with two good legs. That's the state of the Steeler running game right now. Until Bettis and Staley heal, the brunt of the Steeler running game falls on Willie Parker, who, in the words of Bill Cowher, sprinkled with a little spittle here and there, is what's known in the business as a "change of pace" back.

The success of the Steelers is predicated on the running game, and hard-nosed defense. Those are givens. The questions remains whether second-year quarterback Ben Roethlisberger can lead like a champ, as he did last year. I'm no expert in physics, but I can tell you right now that Roethlisberger has a flaw in his throwing motion that causes the pigskin to float on him, which has resulted in several overthrows this preseason.

As for Tennessee, the offense should be a little more wide open than the Steelers. Steve McNair is healthy, and former USC offensive coordinator Norm Chow (Chow, Chow, Chow) is now calling the plays. Chow's offensive philosophy calls for maximum quarterback protection, which should allow McNair to spread the ball around to rangy wide receivers Drew Bennett and Tyrone Calico, as well as running backs Chris Brown and Travis Henry.

"I love this offense," says McNair. "I think Purina's expansion into the football market with Norm Chow is a brilliant strategy. Morris the Cat could run this offense."

As it is, Parker serves as the Steelers' gravy train on Sunday, rushing for 100 yards. The Pittsburgh defense is much more than Chow has seen in college — still, McNair throws for two TDs.

Steelers win, 27-21.

After being leveled by a lineman on a screen play in the first quarter, Titans' rookie Adam "Pacman" Jones stumbles to his feet, then tries to eat the sideline hash marks.

Arizona @ N.Y. Giants

In this game, the Giants' defense finally gets the chance to do something they wanted to do last year, but were unable to: hit Kurt Warner. Now, Warner is with the Cards, and upon his introduction at the Meadowlands, you can expect the crowd to give him a warm, New York welcome, not fit for ears under seventeen years of age. And Giants' coach Tom Coughlin will be leading the jeers.

"Now, Dennis Green has to deal with what I dealt with last year," says Coughlin. "So, here's a little advice, Dennis: keep a firm index finger on the 'eject' button, and don't be afraid to press it. You may not have to; Kurt will probably break his thumb on an opponent's helmet, and be done for."

On the bright side for Coughlin, his quarterback is a Manning — unfortunately, he's not Peyton. Heck, he's not even Archie. But he's making progress, and he's got a new downfield threat in Plaxico Burress. Provided Manning's sore elbow doesn't bother him for long, he should be able to connect with Burress on occasion. On other occasions, like this one against a tough Arizona defense, he'll struggle. And Coughlin win curse, moan, berate, and lose three days off of his life.

Warner takes a few hard hits, but gamely gets up, and throws two touchdowns.

Cardinals win, 24-20.

Dallas @ San Diego

A furious Lawrence Taylor, gnawing on a Punch cigar, storms into Dallas coach Bill Parcell's office, demanding to suit up for his old coach.

"Damnit, Bill," yells Taylor, "this is an outrage. I hear there's a player for the Chargers claiming to be the next L.T!"

"You've got it all wrong, Lawrence," answers Parcells. "L.T. plays for the Chargers. LaDainian Tomlinson. And he doesn't claim to be the next L.T. He's actually a humble guy. But like you, Lawrence, he's the ultimate impact player. He makes big plays and is the team's most important player. Hell, Lawrence, take away the cocaine, the women, the wild parties, and the tearful breakdown on CBS' 60 Minutes, and he could be you."

"Okay, I was getting ready to go out there like a crazed dog," adds Taylor.

Just like in San Diego, No. 21 is the man in Dallas: Julius Jones. Apart from Tomlinson, he may be the most explosive running back in the NFL. Explosive doesn't in any way describe the Cowboys' new quarterback, Drew Bledsoe, who is possibly the only person wearing a pair of cement shoes whose not at the bottom of a body of water, courtesy of the mafia. Parcells does have an Lawrence Taylor-like player in rookie linebacker Demarcus Ware, who has had an impressive pre-season.

Ware impresses in his official coming out party, sacking Drew Brees once and creating havoc for the Charger offense. Jones breaks 100 yards rushing and scores a TD.

Cowboys pull the mild upset, 19-14.

Green Bay @ Detroit

Green Bay running back Ahman Green has been feeling a little down lately. Why, you ask? Well, it's not because his was taken as a late first-round, early second fantasy pick, after last year's early first-round status.

"Oh no," says Green, "that doesn't matter to me at all. Until they start paying us based on fantasy output, I could care less where I'm drafted. I'm upset because I graduated from Nebraska eight years too early to be the roommate of Motley Crue's Tommy Lee. Oh, the parties we could have had! The videos we could have made! The bail money we could have posted for each other!"

Oh what could have been! The same could be said for the Packers, whose playoff runs the last two years have ended harshly. Two years ago, the Pack fell in Philly thanks to the "4th-and-26" pass to Freddie Mitchell. Last year, Green Bay was vanquished by the Vikings at Lambeau Field.

"I don't know about the other guys," says Brett Favre, "but I'm hungry."

Hungry for redemption, Brett?

"No, just hungry. I reported to camp at 217 pounds, lighter than ever. I'm starving."

If anyone is looking for redemption, it's Detroit's Joey Harrington. This year, it's now or never. He's surrounded by weapons, including Kevin Jones at RB, and wideouts Roy Williams, Charles Rogers, and Mike Williams. If the offensive lines protects him, he could produce the numbers that the Lions' organization has long hoped for.

"That would make Lions' president Matt Millen look like a genius," says Harrington. "For once in his life."

Favre and Harrington stage a duel on the Ford Field turf, with Favre coming out on top. Favre throws three TDs, but two interceptions help keep the Lions in the game. Harrington plays well, with two TDs, but the Packers prevail, 38-34.

St. Louis @ San Francisco

Rams coach Mike Martz spent the offseason brushing up on his coaching skills, spending a week by his pool reading NFL Coaching For Dummies. Impressed by the content, Martz decides to write his own book, entitled NFL Coaching For Dummies, By a Dummy. Martz buys several copies, signs them, and presents one each to his coaching staff. The books soon end up in each coach's bathroom, between a crossword puzzle book and the September issue of FHM magazine.

Such is the life of Martz — he thinks he's great, everyone tells him he's great, but behind his back, everyone talks junk about him. Like 49ers' coach Mike Nolan.

"Give me the Rams, at least the offense," says Nolan, "and I could lead them to an 8-8 record, with Alex Smith quarterbacking."

And that would get you into the playoffs, at least in the NFC West.

Nolan faces the difficult task of returning the 49ers to the glory days of Joe Montana, Jerry Rice, Steve Young, Ronnie Lott, and Ray Wershing, to name a few. It will be tough. San Fran is a 200-1 long shot (give or take one hundred) to win the Super Bowl. If you're a betting person, it might be safer to lay money on a two-headed unicorn winning the lottery and getting struck by lightning simultaneously.

"I'm all over that," says baseball great and gambler Pete Rose.

This could be Rams' running back Steven Jackson's year to shine, if Martz can just get him the damn ball. For some strange reason, Martz makes the right call. Jackson rushes for 123 yards on 24 carries, as St. Louis rolls, 32-14.

Indianapolis @ Baltimore

Indy quarterback Peyton Manning and the Colts still were unable to conquer the Patriots, but Manning single-handedly earned himself a new title: greatest quarterback with the NFL passing touchdown record never to have won the Super Bowl.

"Dad gummit! That Manning is stealing all my records!" says a peeved Dan Marino from the set of HBO's Inside the NFL.

But before they can clear the Patriot hurdle, the Colts must take care of the Ravens, whose defense held Indy to its lowest scoring output of the season, except for a meaningless Week 17 game at Denver. Manning and receiver Marvin Harrison are locked in to long-term deals, while Edgerrin James got the shaft, the one-year deal.

"You know, it's not even the money," explains James. "I'm just a little peeved because after this year, I may be cut off from the Colts' fabulous dental plan."

In Baltimore, defense is a given, as always, and running back Jamal Lewis' legal woes are behind him, and he's moved from the halfway house to a nice room at the downtown YMCA. The Ravens upgraded at wide receiver with the signing of Derrick Mason and the drafting of Mark Clayton.

"Isn't Clayton a little old to still be playing?" asks Marino.

Wrong Mark Clayton, Danny.

Anyway, with a record Sunday night ESPN crowd television audience tuned in, and a fired-up M&T Bank Stadium making noise, the Ravens spring the upset. Jamal Lewis rushes for a score, and Kyle Boller matures before our very eyes, hitting Mason with a fourth-quarter TD, and growing facial hair.

Baltimore wins, 27-21.

Philadelphia @ Atlanta

Luckily, the spacious Georgia Dome hosts Monday Night Football's season opener, a rematch of last year's NFC championship game in Philadelphia. The roomy home of the Falcons boasts plenty of space, enough to hold the ego of Terrell Owens, as well as thousands of Falcon fans wearing their No. 7 Ron Mexico jerseys. Mexico, I mean Vick, and the Falcons are intent on avenging last year's loss to the Eagles, which denied Atlanta its second Super Bowl berth.

It's been a stressful offseason for Owens, but that's the last thing he's thinking of as he enjoys a pre-game meal of chicken nuggets. Accidentally, Owens sinks his teeth into one of his fingers, as if some kind of supernatural force moved the chicken. As Owens whimpers in pain, he asks himself, "Is there some kind of cosmic meaning to all this?"

Well, T.O., there is, and it is this: don't bite the hand that feeds you. And, for that matter, don't bite the hand that pays you, or the hand that throws you passes.

"Lesson learned," says Owens.

Of course, Michael Vick would kill for a receiver the caliber of Owens. What he's got are Dez White and Michael Jenkins, whom the Eagles know they can single-cover, leaving a safety for run support, and another safety to monitor Vick or tight end Alge Crumpler.

McNabb and Owens hook up on a beautiful 40-yard touchdown pass, a play so breathtaking that both are left speechless. The quick Eagles' defense contains Vick, and Philly gets a wing up on playoff homefield advantage.

Eagles win, 20-14.

Don't miss Part 1 of the predictions!

Posted by Jeffrey Boswell at 3:56 PM | Comments (0)

NASCAR Top 10 Power Rankings: Week 25

Note: the quotes in this article are fictional.

1. Tony Stewart — Stewart posted his eleventh straight top-10 with a fifth in California, leading 56 laps in doing so. For this season, the points leader is tied for the series lead in wins (5), and is the sole leader in top fives (12), and top-10s (17).

"You'd think I'd be leading in winnings," says Stewart. "But nooo! Somehow, Jeff Gordon has won more money than me. If I were an NFL football player, I would hold out."

Stewart finished second at Richmond in May. Don't be surprised if he wins this time, just to show everyone that he's still boss.

2. Greg Biffle — Biffle's runner-up at Fontana was his third straight top-six, and he reclaimed the number two spot in the points, passing Jimmie Johnson. Like his other Roush counterparts, Biffle is peaking at the right time, and he's regained early season form that saw him win five of the first 15 races.

"I've been stuck on that number five for a long time," adds Biffle. "It seems to be an unlucky number. Stewart wins his fifth, and he's been stuck there ever since."

Unlucky for some, but not for Kyle Busch, who took his No. 5 Chevy to victory just ahead of you in California.

Biffle will shoot for another top-10 Sunday in Richmond — he finished sixth there at the Chevy American Revolution 400 in May. He will enter the Chase as the Roush driver most likely to challenge Stewart for the crown.

3. Jimmie Johnson — Johnson was poised for a top-five finish, despite a brush with the wall on lap 55 (unlucky 5s again?), until the handling in the No. 48 Lowe's Chevy seemingly vanished in the closing laps. JJ finished 16th, which was somewhat disappointing, especially after a second earlier in the year at California.

"It sucks scraping the wall like that," explains Johnson, "especially when you don't have anyone to blame it on except yourself. But how about those young Hendrick drivers, Kyle Busch and Brian Vickers? First and third. I taught them everything I know. Apparently, they learned some more from someone else."

Johnson may well hold the collective hopes of Hendrick Motorsports in his hands, if Jeff Gordon doesn't qualify for the Chase. Right now, the No. 48 doesn't have what it takes to challenge Tony Stewart and the Roush juggernaut for Cup dominance. A win in Richmond could change that.

4. Rusty Wallace — Wallace officially clinched his spot in the Chase, simply by starting in the field of 43, and eventually finished 15th after starting 34th and falling a lap down earlier when he pitted right before a wreck brought out the caution.

"That was no fun," says Wallace. "But I'll tell you what was fun. Commentating during the Busch race on Saturday. I may get too old to race, but I'll never be too old to just talk."

Wallace has 11 more races to pick up a win in his final year on the circuit. Already in the Chase, he can let it all hang out in Richmond and go for the win.

5. Mark Martin — After qualifying on the front row, Martin raced to an 11th-place finish, which was enough to secure his place in the Chase. All five Roush drivers led laps, with Martin leading the fewest, four.

"Brilliant strategy there by the Mad Hatter, Jack Roush," says Martin. "It was his plan to have all of us lead a lap to pick up that valuable five bonus points. Those points may come in handy for Carl Edwards and Matt Kenseth. Those suckers haven't cinched a spot yet. You may see some team orders come Saturday."

Martin will be one of a possible five Roush drivers in the Chase. Like Rusty Wallace, Martin is looking for a win to highlight his year.

6. Kurt Busch — Busch's 12th-place finish didn't quite qualify him for the Chase, but he's in ideal position to get there — all he has to do is start the race in Richmond, and he's in. So, unless Tonya Harding has some vendetta to settle against Busch, and therefore hires some goon to wack him in the knee, then he's a good bet to be in.

"Then take it to the bank," says Busch. "I'll be in. As soon as I take the green flag, I plan to come to a stop right in the middle of the track and celebrate my inclusion in the Chase."

Busch is the defending Cup champion, but right now, he's not even the favorite among Roush drivers to win the Cup. So, he can choose to make a statement and win in Richmond, or take it easy and coast in.

7. Jeremy Mayfield — With a 26th-place finish in California, Mayfield lost a spot in the points standings, falling to seventh, and failing to clinch a spot in the Chase. Mayfield would have surely scored a higher finish and clinched had a broken right front spring not compromised his car's handling late in the race.

"This time, just like last year, the pressure is on me to qualify in the Chase in the final race," explains Mayfield. "The pressure is a little lower this year, however, as I only have to finish 39th or better to get in. Last year, I had to win to get in. That's pressure!"

Mayfield is in, unless disaster strikes.

8. Carl Edwards — Edwards led a Roush sweep of the top four spots in qualifying, and backed up the pole with a fourth-place finish and led 21 laps. Edwards also controlled a 360-degree spin, recovering and keeping his No. 99 Ford off the wall.

"That was no spin," explains Edwards. "I was having trouble with tire grip, so I locked 'em up to heat up the tires. It worked. I finished fourth."

While his result in California did not officially lock up his spot in the Chase, it practically did. Probably remaining on the lead lap will be enough to clinch Edwards' spot. But a third win on the season would surely clinch with a flourish.

9. Matt Kenseth — Kenseth continued his furious run to the brink of the Chase, finishing seventh to vault into the top 10, up to ninth from 11th. It was Kenseth's third straight top-10, and as it stands now, Kenseth would be the last of five Roush drivers in the Chase.

"I was top dog at Roush once," explains Kenseth. "There was a time earlier in the season when I was the forgotten man, so I had to make up my mind to turn things around and get back on track, so to speak. I'm a former Cup champ — it was time to act like it."

Only 11 points separates Kenseth from the driver in 11th-place, Ryan Newman. Kenseth has six career top ten finishes at Richmond. That, coupled with the performance of Rousch cars lately, should ensure his spot in the Chase.

10. (tie) Jamie McMurray/Ryan Newman/Jeff Gordon/Elliott Sadler — Of these four, Sadler will have the most difficult time making the Chase — he will probably need a top-five, and hope for the other three to finish out of the top 20. The question remains: who wants it bad enough? None have shown that they do.

McMurray has hovered around the top 10 for much of the year, but has never remained there for any length of time. Newnam looked like a cinch for the Chase five races ago — since then, he's finished 30th or worse three times, with no top-10s. Even when Gordon was winning three races early in the year, inconsistency was an issue. Now, he's not winning, and he's consistently inconsistent. Of all four drivers, Gordon is the only one who could challenge for the title, provided he makes the Chase.

Posted by Jeffrey Boswell at 3:34 PM | Comments (0)

The Sports Gospel Curse

Everybody makes mistakes. Now, it's never a good sign when I start a column like that, but in this instance, it needs to be said. After watching my Fighting Irish destroy Pittsburgh, I started writing a column about Charlie Weis and how he differed from past ND coaches, but then I remembered something. Sometimes, the Sports Gospel has a way of jinxing people in the sports world.

I wrote a column about how Michelle Wie is going to be the next big name in women's golf ... and then promptly lost the Amateur Publinx to the lowest-ranked seed the next day. I wrote that the people in charge of hockey couldn't possibly be stupid enough to lock out the players for an entire season, and I was wrong again (although anyone could've missed, that was a colossal blunder).

I also wrote about the Calgary Flames once they were up on Tampa Bay, right before they lost the next two and the Stanley Cup to the Lightning. A few more examples of jinxes or downright blown predictions from past columns:

Curse of the Bambino

Before I go any further, let me clarify, I am not implying that the Red Sox enjoy fornicating with their mothers. Nevertheless, their demise is no less entertaining. Every fall, I hear about how this will be their year, the year they finally end the mythical curse of the Bambino. Then every fall I get to see them self-destruct and fall apart. This will never get old, as each year bears a new tragic hero for the bereaved Red Sox Nation.

I can't understand why Red Sox fans get their hopes up every year, when we all know what the outcome will be. Does it make me a bad person to enjoy watching their faces as the camera pans the crowd, showing each person with their hands clasped together in prayer, as if to ask God to have mercy on their cursed team, only to moments later see the other team (usually the Yankees) tear the heart out of every fan in Fenway?

They just can't win ... and I love it.

Follow up: I wrote this after the Yankees went up 3-0, how the hell could they have choked like that? I thought that would be the safest column I had ever written. To this day, their choke job irks me, if for nothing else than it was one of the worst collapses in sports history. I will always have a certain disdain for the Yankees because they made me look like a fool ... like a damned fool.

McCool McRules

Don't get me wrong, it's nice that these big names are supporting gymnasts, but they are supporting the supporting cast to the superstar. I know who will bring pride back to America, and it's now time to get on her bandwagon. I think she is the best of the best, has the best attitude, and well, she is just cool. In fact, she is Courtney McCool.

Follow up: McCool was shafted and didn't even get to compete after the prelims. Complete garbage. Don't worry, I'll reprint that column in '08.

Jamal Lewis Can't Be Touched

Jamal Lewis should get some advice from teammate Ray Lewis, the perennial star linebacker for the Ravens who got out of murder charges in 2000. Jamal said that Ray called him when news of the arrest broke and assured him that everything would work out fine. I'm not sure what he told him, but I would bet it was along the lines of "you're a professional athlete, they can't touch you."

Follow up: Well, Lewis did end up in jail, if only for a few months. In retrospect, I knew he was headed there, I should've entitled it "Jamal Lewis shouldn't be touched," but oh well. Still lands on this list because it just doesn't fit in after what happened to him.

Ken Griffey, Jr. is Back

Junior's homecoming had been rough prior to this season, mainly due to his run of bad luck, a stretch which could only be equaled by Kenny from South Park. Now Griffey is healthy and on a tear and the fans are back with him. It only makes sense, as Junior is a great role model. He loves the game and plays hard. He is a great family man and cares more about his team than himself.

Follow up: There isn't much I can say about this. I wrote a flattering, lengthy piece on the return of one of the game's greats, only for him to have the most horrific injury of his career days later. That just sucked. I felt like I should apologize or something, as if the Sports Gospel jinx was responsible for his luck. Then again, he's had tough luck most of his time in Cincinnati, but the timing was still eerie for me. Par for the course it appears though.

And finally, the reason I bring up all my past jinxes is the column I wrote after the start of Notre Dame's season last year.

Notre Dame After Michigan

A star was born in South Bend on Saturday, in the shape of super-frosh Darius Walker, who gained 115 yards in his first three quarters of college ball, scoring two touchdowns on his way into Irish lore. Paul Hornung must've been proud of the latest playmaker in Willingham's offense, and they didn't even have to lower admission standards to get him.

Hopefully, this game will help quell the abundance of the asinine "fire [Ty] Willingham" talk. Notre Dame fans need to realize that Willingham can, and will, bring ND back into the spotlight. More than likely, they won't accept that. They will continue to complain about how ND should've hired former Holtz-assistant turned Utah coach Urban Meyer and how Willingham is the next Gerry Faust.

Follow up: I think I was pretty much on target, at least until the third sentence. Walker is a stud, but, well, Willingham didn't quite shake down the thunder. This has to be, by far, the biggest blunder I have ever made in a prediction. How could things have gone so wrong? I don't care anymore, all I care about now is not taking any chances with this, so I will only say that Charlie Weis is a hack and the Fighting Irish will not leave Ann Arbor this weekend undefeated.

Actually, screw that. If there's anyone bigger than the Sports Gospel curse, it's Charlie Weis. I'm taking the Irish 35-21 this weekend, bank on it.

The Sports Gospel According to Mark is sponsored by BetOnSports.com. BetOnSports.com gives you the greatest sports action to bet on. Wager on football, cricket, boxing, Rugby, horse racing, and more. Mark Chalifoux is also a weekly columnist for SportsFan Magazine. His columns appear every Tuesday on Sports Central. You can e-mail Mark at [email protected].

Posted by Mark Chalifoux at 2:33 PM | Comments (0)

September 7, 2005

Bluebook Notes #1: Shocked Sooners

What the heck happened to the Sooners this past Saturday? I had a feeling that Oklahoma was going to lose to Texas this season — just not Texas Christian. TCU played a perfect game from start to finish. They clogged up the box so that Adrian Peterson could be contained and they dared Paul Thompson to beat them.

It is no surprise that Oklahoma will be going to Rhett Bomar this week to get the offense back on track. I predicted that this would happen in my Big 12 preview, and Bomar should have more success moving the ball down the field.

The Notre Dame bandwagon ship is set to sail and plenty of prognosticators have jumped aboard. I guess I can't blame anyone for the Irish hype that's engulfed the nation because they looked superb in their 42-21 thumping of the Pitt Panthers. Brady Quinn looked superb as he was accurate in his passing and he had key runs to set up scores. Speaking of running, Charlie Weis' duo of Darius Walker and Rashon Powers-Neal combined for 140 yards and three touchdowns.

The Irish defense also played well by containing Tyler Palko and holding Greg Lee to only 63 yards receiving. Notre Dame will have to continue to play well next week as they face an even stiffer challenge with Michigan. If they can pull off another upset, I just might have jump aboard.

The HeisDAQ

The race for the Heisman Trophy fluctuates week-by-week. The HeisDAQ will let you know whose Heisman "stock" is rising and falling.

1) Matt Leinart, QB USC (strong buy) — In my Heisman preview, I stated that Leinart had to distance himself from the competition if he had any hopes of winning the trophy. He got off to a good start by throwing for over 300 yards in barely over a half against Hawaii. His 18-for-24 performance was impressive and he earns the top spot this week.

2) Reggie Bush, RB, KR, PR USC (buy) — Bush showed off his versatility by racking up 144 all-purpose yards and two scores against the clearly-overmatched Hawaii Rainbow Warriors. He dominated on the ground highlighted by a superb 41-yard touchdown scamper. Even though he played very well, he will have to play even better to outshine his teammate, Matt Leinart.

3) Vince Young, QB Texas (buy) — V.Y. was superb against Louisiana-Lafayette, but did you expect any less? He threw for three touchdowns and ran for another in the Longhorns' 60-3 victory. I was impressed with his 13-for-17 performance, but he'll have to get more receivers involved next week against Ohio State. The Buckeyes will key in on his all-world tight-end David Thomas and force him to throw down the field to beat them.

4) Chris Leak, QB Florida (buy) — Leak has always been the wildcard in this year's Heisman race. There were some that didn't think that Leak had the ability to run Urban Meyer's offensive system, but those doubts were answered in a convincing performance against Wyoming. He broke Steve Spurrier's school record for consecutive completions (isn't that ironic?) and increased his Heisman chances tremendously.

5) Ted Ginn, WR/KR/PR/DB Ohio State (buy) — Ginn had a fantastic game against Miami of Ohio. He had five catches for 75 yards and a touchdown, and his defense was solid as well. In order for Ginn to move up in the Heisman standings, he will have to make some plays in special teams, as well.

6) Drew Tate, QB Iowa (buy) — Tate looked sharp on Saturday as he was 9-for-10 in limited action against Ball State. The Hawkeyes will face a much stronger challenge at Iowa State this week. I look for Tate to put up much bigger stats in that contest.

7) Brady Quinn, QB Notre Dame (strong buy) — Quinn is one of two newcomers to the HeisDAQ and he has earned his spot with one of the best quarterback performances of the first week. He was effective in the air and on the ground and now the Irish are nationally-ranked going into their game against Michigan. If the Irish can upset the Wolverines, Quinn will guarantee himself a spot in the Top 5.

8) D.J. Shockley, QB Georgia (strong buy) — D.J. Shockley, the second newcomer to the HeisDAQ, was unbelievable against Boise State. His six-touchdown (five by air one on the ground) debut this weekend was unreal. Many people thought Boise State had a chance of upsetting the Bulldogs, but Shockley would have none of it. He showed his dual-threat capabilities by shredding the Bronco defense and has catapulted himself into the Heisman race.

9) Adrian Peterson (hold) — Adrian Peterson's performance against TCU on Saturday has dropped him out of serious Heisman contention for now. His 63 yards on 22 carries was lackluster, but it really wasn't his fault. He got hurt, and his offensive line was overmatched due to TCU's defensive execution up front. The Sooners play in-state rival Tulsa this Saturday, and Peterson should do much better against them.

10) Laurence Maroney, RB Minnesota (buy) — Speaking of Tulsa, Maroney absolutely shredded them for 203 yards last week. His touchdown runs of 67 and 73 yards in the first quarter show why he just might be the best running back in America. He showed great speed getting to the corner, and used tremendous cutbacks in order to spring himself and get himself to the end zone. His next challenge will be against Colorado State, who is still smarting after a last second loss to the hated Buffaloes.

Players who have dropped out of the HeisDAQ top 10: Gerald Riggs, Jr. (hold), Reggie McNeal (hold)

Games to Watch/Picks to Click

In this section of Bluebook Notes, I highlight three of the best potential games for the next week. I will also give my pick as to who will come out victorious.

Notre Dame @ Michigan (+7)

This will be a very fun game to watch and I think it will go down to whoever has the ball last. Notre Dame has already shown that they can cover great receivers and contain good quarterbacks (Greg Lee and Tyler Palko). They face the same script in Michigan with Jason Avant and Chad Henne. Therefore, I think this game will come down to which team can run the ball most effectively. Mike Hart will have to be the difference-maker, and I think Michigan wins, but not by seven.

Score: Ann Arbor's Finest 24, South Bend But Don't Break 21

LSU (+1) @ Arizona State

We all know by know how much Hurricane Katrina has affected the Gulf Coast. What we don't know is how much it has affected LSU's psyche. I'm sure the Tigers will come out fired up and ready to play, but will it be enough to defeat the Sun Devils. That's exactly why this game could go either way. I'm going with Arizona State on this one, as the Sun Devils love to hand out early-season upsets (just ask Iowa).

Score: Stun Devils 35, America's New Favorite Team 31

Texas @ Ohio State (+1)

Who said that BCS bowls are played in January? This game has all of the makings of a classic and has major implications as to which of these teams puts themselves in the driver's seat come New Year's Day. Both teams have superb defenses that can impose their will on the opposing offense. I'm picking Ohio State, just because if I had to draw up a defensive unit to stop Vince Young, A.J. Hawk and the Buckeyes would be it.

Score: Buckin' Eyes 21, Hooked Horns 13

The Mailbag

The mailbag is the final section of Bluebook Notes. This week's comes from Trevor in Seattle:

Avery,

How do you think Washington will fare this season? I'm thinking that U-Dub will shock the world and finish in the top five of the Pac-10 this year.

Trevor, I don't think the Huskies will come anywhere near the top five of the Pac-10 this season, but they are making some steps so that it may happen in the future. Hiring Ty Willingham was a good first-step, but the West Coast offense always takes time to learn, so I wouldn't expect anything quickly. I think Washington wins three games this year, but will hopefully go above .500 in 2006. Thanks for the e-mail!

Do you think that I'm "off my rocker," or did I hit the proverbial "nail on the head?" Let me know! Send an e-mail to [email protected] and include your name and hometown, or post a comment below. I'll do my best to include it in the next week's edition.

Posted by Avery Smith at 6:45 PM | Comments (0)

Stretch Run is Full of Hidden Gems

As the sun sets on the 2005 Major League Baseball season and chants of "We believe!" are unceremoniously replaced with laments of "Wait 'til next year!" in many of the league's ballparks, a little retrospection is certainly appropriate.

Emerging from the sewage of an ongoing league-wide steroid scandal, fans were treated to a virtuoso season from one of the game's all-time great hurlers, a bevy of ball clubs winning the right way, another division title for the unfathomably consistent Braves, and a resurgent year from a group of Canadian cast-offs in the Nation's Capitol. Beyond those headlines, though, MLB '05 featured a number of standout performances and noteworthy accomplishments that may have flown under the radar in light of the game's more ballyhooed stories.

Trading deadline rumors feature a whole lot of style, not much substance.

Years passed have showcased many adaptations of moves involving big names and small names alike and in big, small, and medium markets across the landscape of baseball. As a rule, the dog days of summer are triggered by the fireworks of the non-waiver trade deadline in MLB and as the season roared through a sweltering June, 2005 seemed no different.

Premier names like Ken Griffey, Jr., Eric Milton, Adam Dunn, Sean Casey, Todd Helton, Barry Zito, Jose Mesa, Denys Baez, Aubrey Huff, and even the ageless Roger Clemens were bandied about the airwaves as if there was a Major League Baseball all-star team clearance sale on eBay. But alas, July came and went and the veritable smorgasbord of goodies available to anyone with some cash and a few minor league stiffs wound up looking more like a picked over buffet at Luby's after the Sunday church rush.

There really is no rhyme or reason as to why the air rushed out of the generally very buoyant trading season in baseball, but with parody as it is in baseball, it does seem the perennial sellers of the league were too close to respectability to ship away their present stars while the perennial buyers held such tenuous leads that they were far too spooked to deal their future stars for present success that could not be guaranteed. Regardless the reason, with more and more teams looking to annually find themselves in contention later into the season, this year's inaction may become the norm rather than the exception.

Traditionally, smaller-market teams are surging towards respectability through judicious spending and a remarkable youth movement.

As is usually the case, the Angels, Yankees, and Red Sox lead the fight for postseason positions. It is no secret that those teams, along with the Dodgers, Mets, Cubs, White Sox, and Orioles have far deeper pockets than the other participants in the annual race to the pennant, and, as recent history has proven, those are pretty much perennial players in over the course of the 162-game major league seasons (yes, I do know there are many exceptions, but I'm talking big picture here). Historically, the teams who ply their craft in markets that aren't so large have had little to no chance of even breaking even on the year, much less remaining competitive into September.

This season, however, the paradigm is beginning to show very recognizable signs of shift. While most of the headlines continue to go to the mega-markets in New York, Boston, Chicago, and L.A. (along with baseball hot beds in St. Louis and Atlanta), teams in the smaller markets have seemingly found the answer to their concerns about competitive balance by developing youth while focusing on fundamental play.

Milwaukee and Cleveland are two of the more noticeable culprits in this game of cat-and-mouse, as both have very quietly put together seasons onto which they can build in years to come. As Oakland and Minnesota have demonstrated in recent years (and continue to demonstrate in '05), teams in the small markets don't necessarily have to mortgage the future to compete in the present and a refreshing amount of parody is beginning to emerge, promising future years more closely resembling the bygone eras where most any team can hold onto October dreams as they break their spring training camps.

While the equation still favors those who are ready, willing, and able to spend crazily on free agents, it is becoming more and more apparent that the future may not be so predictable after all. Now if only someone would clue the hapless Royals and Pirates into this reality, we'd really be making some progress.

The old guard of the league is beginning to show signs of wear, but there will soon be a new sheriff in town, avoiding any potential downward trend.

While most media outlets continue to sing the praises of well-known superstars like Albert Pujols, Manny Ramirez, Alex Rodriguez, and Roger Clemens, a new era of stars is very quietly beginning to usher themselves into prominence while remaining somewhat under the media's radar.

For every broken-down superstar (Sammy Sosa, Craig Biggio, Mike Piazza, Jim Thome, Barry Bonds, and Randy Johnson), there is a young up-and-comer (Miguel Cabrera, Ricky Weeks, Joe Mauer, Mark Teixeira, Jason Bay, and Zach Duke) ready to take his spot. Within two years, this transition should be complete, with the injection of youth fully establishing themselves as mainstays while the old vets ride off into the sunset.

This youth movement of sorts couldn't come at a better time for the sport — scandals have once again tainted America's pastime and the emergence of new, fresh-faced torch bearers is very necessary to ensure a continued trend toward parody and will ultimately hold fan interest through the rough times the league is sure to fall upon over the next couple of seasons as the facts relative to performance-enhancing drugs sort themselves out.

While Manny Ramirez and David Ortiz set the bar for potent 1-2 punches, MLB lineups all around the league feature some young, exciting dynamic duos.

The numbers Ramirez and Ortiz are putting up in Beantown are almost otherworldly, but that fantastic coupling of talent isn't as head-and-shoulders above some others as media outlets would like you to think. A handful of young tandems promise to captivate fans in other cities across the nation. In Chicago, the emerging Derek Lee is teamed with the powerful Aramis Ramirez, providing a great deal of thump in a Cubs lineup that many felt would be trending down with the departure of Sosa and Moises Alou. Both are .300 hitters and have 40-plus homerun/30-plus double/100-plus RBI power.

The Houston Astros also feature a rugged 3-4 combo in Lance Berkman and Morgan Ensberg, both capable of putting up huge run-producing numbers without sacrificing on base percentage or batting average. Meanwhile, Atlanta's duo of Chipper and Andruw Jones continue to impress and still are relatively young, though both have displayed chinks in their armor over the past four or five seasons. In Texas, the trio of Mark Teixeira, Michael Young, and Hank Blaylock look to hold down the fort in Arlington for many years to come, putting up nice average, homer, and RBI numbers.

Though there are many more, those four hold the most potential for greatness, aren't too far behind the leaders in Boston and certainly should be garnering much more of the media's attention than they are at this point in their careers.

Even with two clear-cut favorites, one in each league, the 2005 World Series is still far from being decided.

With St. Louis running away with the National League's best record and the Chicago White Sox hanging on to their five-plus game advantage over their nearest AL foes, one would think that the playoff scenario in each league is pretty much cut-and-dried. Fortunately for the rest of the competing factions, however, this is anything but the case.

St. Louis has been dogged by injuries all season long and those types of things can catch up to you with little or no warning. The ChiSox seem to be pretty solid all-around, but their pitching staff has begun to falter down the stretch and you never know how their lack of playoff experience will manifest itself once the calendar turns to October.

With the Red Sox sporting such a potent offense, no team's pitching is safe in the AL playoffs. But not even their unearthly lineup can guarantee success, as the BoSox also feature the most inconsistent pitching staff in baseball. Both the Angels and the Athletics are flawed in multiple areas, so neither provides any sort of comfort when handicapping chances come playoff time. And with a pitching-light Yankees team battling relative unknowns in Cleveland and Minnesota, it is almost impossible to get a read on who, if anyone, would have an advantage as we approach the playoff season.

The NL picture is every bit as cloudy — Phillies, Astros, Mets, Nationals, Marlins — any of the five could put it together at any time, but only one of those teams will even qualify for the postseason. The Astros are the smartest bet to take the wildcard with their dominant 1-2-3 pitching matchups, but their everyday lineup is one of the worst in the big leagues, so it is tough to give them the edge at all. The Braves will once again by playing into October, but you can't hardly look at their pitching rotation and feel that they'll finally overcome their frustrating propensity for exiting the postseason early in 2005.

Even the hapless NL West representative won't be an easy out come the shortened five-game series in round one of the playoffs. San Diego, the odds-on favorite, has as good a starting rotation as there is out there and if any other team passes them in the standings, that team will be riding a hot streak into the playoffs and would showcase their own set of problems for any of these other teams to have to deal with.

The stretch run should be fun and October baseball may be the best we've seen in years. Sure, the Cardinals and White Sox will have the advantage of setting up their lineups and pitching staffs for the playoffs with gigantic division leads and no fear of missing the playoffs, but you will certainly have to tune in to the playoffs in 2005 as anything could and likely will go.

With the season nearing its crescendo, it is always helpful to take stock on what has been seen (and unseen) to this point, especially since the media generally overplays storylines in Boston and the Bronx and underplays the small market agendas. Just because you don't read about it on ESPN's front page doesn't mean it didn't happen, so remember that as you prep yourself for baseball's second season!

Posted by Matt Thomas at 6:33 PM | Comments (0)

2005 NFL Preview: San Francisco 49ers

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Last Year

The 49ers were like the city of San Francisco prior to their 1849 gold rush: lacking personnel and poor. They only beat one opponent on their 16-game schedule and were the NFL's worst team. At least they won the first overall pick in the draft. With a new coaching staff and a new face for the franchise, the 49ers will try to change their direction and find gold once again.

What we Learned From Last Year

After the San Francisco 49ers kissed starting quarterback Jeff Garcia, starting wide receivers Terrell Owens and Tai Streets, and starting running back Garrison Hearst goodbye, it was pretty evident that the offense would not be nearly as productive.

Lo and behold, it wasn't.

Running back Kevan Barlow remained as the next best weapon, but labored tremendously in his first season as the full-time starter. He still finished as the team's leading rusher with 822 yards, but he only averaged 3.4 yards per carry.

He didn't regress — he just didn't have any help.

The offensive line was porous and weak. They permitted the second-most amount of sacks in the NFL (66), which should give you some indication.

With little pass-protection, the quarterbacks were next in line to suffer. Tim Rattay, Ken Dorsey, and Cody Pickett were only stopgap starters to begin with, but their production further diminished with little time to throw.

And when they did throw, they weren't exactly throwing to anyone dependable.

The receiving corps included Brandon Lloyd, who had previously only started one NFL game, Rashaun Woods, a rookie, Curtis Conway, an aging wideout, and Cedric Wilson.

Barlow was the only player worth caring about for defenses facing the 49ers last year and with no one to distract attention off of him, he wasn't able to be effective.

The Niners couldn't do anything right on offense. Passing the ball was an arduous task and running the ball was equally as challenging. Most of the talent was on the defensive side of the ball but averaging only 90.7 rushing yards per game and converting only 32.7% of their third downs put a massive burden on a defense that wasn't capable of carrying the weight.

Linebacker Julian Peterson was the anchor on defense until he was lost for the season after Week 5. Derek Smith and Jeff Ulbrich picked up the slack, combining for 202 tackles, but Peterson excels at pressuring the quarterback and once he was lost, sack totals took a hit. The defense finished with 29 and no player finished with more than six.

After starting cornerback Jason Webster departed in free agency to the Atlanta Falcons, second-year corner Mike Rumph slid into the fulltime role. He was awful in his rookie season and was not much better in year two of his career. Shawntae Spencer, another high draft pick, was decent in his rookie year, but also didn't offer much support for Ahmed Plummer.

At the backend, strong safety Tony Parrish provided a veteran presence, but had no competent partner at free safety.

With Andre Carter (although he suffered through a back injury) on the defensive line, the 49ers had a high-quality starter at each level of the defense. On talent alone, this defense was no worse than any other in its division, but without much support from the offense, the defense was not able to keep the ship afloat on its own.

The one good thing about being at the bottom is that there is only one place to go.

This Year

You don't always need a fortune-teller to foresee a disaster. For example: it is pretty evident that Nick Cannon's new movie, Underclassman, looks like a flop and that the San Francisco 49ers upcoming season is also going to be a fiasco.

While the 49ers may not be very successful in the win column in 2005, the point of the upcoming season is that this picture is still in production. It is not a finished product.

With the first selection in the draft, the 49ers picked up what they deemed to be the quarterback of the future. They figured that after Matt Leinart won another national championship and a Heisman Trophy that he would fall into their lap, but when he returned to USC, the Niners settled on the next best option, Utah's Alex Smith.

He projects to be a solid quarterback, but with the first overall pick, you would like to get an unquestioned superstar. With Tim Rattay still on the roster, a decent temporary solution, selecting Braylon Edwards and hoping for a shot at Leinart next year may have been a wiser solution.

Smith has a Peyton Manning-type brain, but the physical tools don't measure up. He is a very smart and avoids interceptions, but needs to improve his strength for the pro level.

The offensive line in front of him will be retooled and could be better than last year. The reason why that last "could" is not a "should" is because much banks on the return of center Jeremy Newberry. He is the anchor on the line, but is recovering from knee and back injuries that limited him to one game last year.

Jonas Jennings was signed to protect the quarterback's blind side at left tackle, which was a position heavily exploited last year. The arrival of Jennings means Kwame Harris can move back to the right side. Harris and guards Eric Heitman and Justin Smiley are up-and-comers. Second-round pick David Baas will challenge for playing time and provides some good depth.

If Mayberry plays, this line will perform significantly better than last year's.

That's great news for Barlow, who will once again be the emphasis of the offense. Rookie Frank Gore and sophomore Maurice Hicks will push him, but Barlow is the only back who offers the complete package. Gore is powerful, but lacks speed and Hicks is undersized.

Rattay has been named the interim started until Smith is ready and with more time to throw, the injury prone signal caller will be able to move the ball on offense.

Brandon Lloyd will serve as the team's top receiver and should be at his best in his third NFL season. He has slippery quickness and added 10 pounds of muscle to deal with the bigger cornerbacks. Aside from him, the receiving corps is pretty thin. Arnaz Battle will man the other starting role, but only has eight receptions to his credit and Rashaun Woods is lucky to still be on the roster.

Tight end Eric Johnson, the team's best offensive option and leading receiver last year, is recovering from a torn muscle in his right foot and may not be ready for the season-opener.

On defense, the 49ers will fully switch to the 3-4 scheme, which could work out well. The four starting linebackers are very underrated and with Jamie Winborn and Julian Peterson on the outside, the amount of sacks should increase. Both excel at getting to the quarterback. Andre Carter morphs into a linebacker and should be able to also provide some pressure.

Derek Smith and Jeff Ulbrich are blue-collar tacklers who don't transcend the standards of the position, but they get the job done.

What will throw a kink in the plans is the lack of the proper nose tackle. Anthony Adams is a little small to play the position, but the team is short on options. Fifth-round pick Ron Fields and Isaac Sopoaga might take some pressure off of Adams, but both are still raw.

Bryant Young and Marques Douglas will man the ends and both have experience in the 3-4. Douglas manned the end position in Baltimore when Mike Nolan was the defensive coordinator there.

In the secondary, the suspects remain the same, but a few minor shifts occurred. Shawntae Spencer will start in his second season next to Ahmed Plummer and Mike Rumph moves to free safety. Rumph has good instincts, but is a tad slow to play corner so this move should help him out.

Overall, this defense is above average and should play that way if the offense can support them. If they are forced to spend too much time on the field, and that is a likely possibility if the offense stumbles when Alex Smith becomes the starter, the Niners will be far from golden.

Over/Under: 4.5

The best team in the NFC West finished at 9-7 last year, so the 49ers are not exactly in the NFL's toughest division. Five wins would not be a possibility if Tim Rattay started every game, but with a rookie quarterback waiting in the wings, expect rookie mistakes when he gets the starts. They play: @PHI, DAL, IND, @WAS, TB, NYG, @CHI, @TEN, @JAX, and HOU.

Fantasy Sleeper

Taking a wide receiver on an offense with quarterback uncertainties is not necessarily ideal, but how much worse can the quarterback situation get than last year? Well, it can get worse, but someone still has to catch the ball. Brandon Lloyd had 565 yards and six touchdowns in his first season as a starter and has caught 10 passes for 140 yards and a touchdown in his first three preseason games. For someone who is being draft after the 100th pick in most drafts, he's worth a shot.

Stay tuned as Dave Golokhov brings you previews for all 32 NFL teams! Sponsored by CyberSportsbook.com, a great casino for horse racing and sportsbook action.

Posted by Dave Golokhov at 6:27 PM | Comments (0)

NFL Conference Predictions: AFC

Let me state from the outset that readers should in no way make judgments of any consequence, financial or otherwise, based on what follows. This is simply my guesstimates about what might happen in the NFL this year. I will freely admit that it is based more on my gut instinct that any scientific research.

And, let's face it, football is a cruel mistress and anything can, and usually will, happen when grown men throw themselves across the field at each other. Prognosticators beware is what I am saying.

With that caveat out of the way, let's get started. Below you will find my predictions as to who will win each division in the AFC. Next week, I will tackle the NFC.

AFC East

This is traditionally a very competitive division. It isn't rare to see a playoff-caliber team fail to make the playoffs. Given the dominance of the New England Patriots in recent years, one has to see them as the favorite. I won't argue. I think the Patriots will win the division.

If there is one constant in the NFL, it is change. And all of these teams will have to adjust the changes the offseason brought them. I just think New England has the most stability at key positions and the ability to make the talent they have work.

The world champions lost both their offensive and defensive coordinators. This is the wildcard, as it can't be easy to deal with that kind of change. But they have Bill Belichick at the helm and Tom Brady leading the offense. Add a healthy Corey Dillon, a solid receiver core, and a reloaded defense, and it gets hard to bet against them. If the Pats can keep their team chemistry among the changes, look for them to make a serious run at another title. Dynasty indeed.

The Rest

* The New York Jets have a bad taste in their mouth from last year. A few missed field goals separated them from the championship game. Doug Brien is gone and they have Ohio State hero — and second round draft pick - Mike Nugent kicking. Chad Pennington's arm is healthy and the indefatigable Curtis Martin returns with ex-Chief Derrick Blaylock as backup. Laveraneus Coles is back from his side trip to Washington and Justin McCareins is poised to live up to his potential under new offensive coordinator Mike Heimerdinger's more aggressive system. The Jets could push the Pats for the division, but I think Pennington and the offense will struggle to get in sync with the new system.

* The Buffalo Bills could also give the champs a run, but I have a hard time picking a J.P. Losman led team to win the division. The Bills will try to duplicate the Steelers' plan last year: tough defense, strong running game, limited pressure on your young QB. With a tough defense, solid special teams, and weapons like Willis McGahee, Eric Moulds, and Lee Evans, they might just pull it off. Count me cynical, however, as I don't think lightening strikes twice. It is a good thing Losman is mobile because he might be running for his life.

* Miami has a new coach in Nick Saban and hopefully a new attitude after last year's debacle. They brought back Ricky Williams and drafted Ronnie Brown, but I just can't pick a team whose QB prospects are A.J. Feeley and Gus Ferrote. Plus, the defense is getting old and switching schemes (from 4-3 to 3-4).

AFC North

Here we come to the home of my beloved Pittsburgh Steelers. It is still hard to believe that the boys from Steel Town won 15 games with a rookie QB. Of course, they got beat up by the eventual champions at home again, so miracles only go so far. The difference between winning and losing is a thin line in the NFL as illustrated by the Steelers' 6-10 record in 2003 as compared to the 15-1 record of last year. I still think the Steelers are the team to beat in the AFC North in 2005.

They haven't lit it up in the preseason and the starting offense hasn't scored a touchdown. But the defense and special teams have looked very sharp. Sure, the Steelers lost big man wide-out Plaxico Burress and both Duce Staley and Jerome Bettis are dinged up. But I believe the Steelers' offense will find its rhythm and get the job done.

Hines Ward will continue to be the clutch go-to guy. Cedric Wilson has impressed people with his quickness and route running and should give a boost to the receiving core. Plus, rookies Heath Miller, Nate Washington, and Fred Gibson all show signs of being able to contribute quickly. Willie Parker will provide the spark in the running game and give Staley and Bettis time to get healthy. Roethlisberger won't necessarily turn into Joe Montana, but he should be a little sharper and a little wiser as the season progresses. With aggressive defense and special teams play, the Steelers will once again put Ben in a position where he just has to play smart to win. Look for 10 or 11 wins and the division title.

The Rest

* The Baltimore Ravens are hoping that Kyle Boller can have a season like Roethlisberger did last year. The Ravens defense has been carrying the team for years and the running game is usually solid. The passing game simply hasn't been there. They've added Derrick Mason and drafted Mark Clayton (and Todd Heap returns healthy) but I still don't see Kyle Boller as the answer. I wouldn't be surprised if the defense struggled at times, as well. They are aging and changing schemes.

* A lot of folks will probably pick the Cincinnati Bengals as a sleeper winner in this division. I don't see it this year. Sure, they will have a strong offense with the evolving Carson Palmer, Chad Johnson, T.J. Houshmandzadeh, and Rudi Johnson. But in this division, you must run and stop the run to win. The Bengal defense is still suspect in my mind. If the defense can't get the ball back for the offense, all that talent is wasted.

* As much as it saddens me to say it, I am confident that Romeo Crennel and Phil Savage will turn the Cleveland Brown franchise around. Just not this year. Things are just too unsettled and there isn't enough mature talent on the field. The Browns might have their future in Braylon Edwards and Charlie Frye but this year is likely to be a rough one.

AFC South

The Indianapolis Colts have enough offensive weapons. About that there is no doubt. Peyton Manning has three quality receivers (Marvin Harrison, Reggie Wayne, and Brandon Stokley each had 1,000-yard seasons) and a solid running back in Edgerin James. Tight end Dallas Clark looks to stay healthy and live up to his potential. That is a lot of targets and Manning has shown he knows how to use them. I say this is enough to win the division.

No, the perennial question is defense. Can the Colts stop teams enough to outscore them? Another offseason has passed without any big name improvements, but they are deeper and have some young talent. They have added another tough Big 10 guy in the secondary in Marlin Jackson and Mike Doss is as tough as they come. Will it be enough to make it to the Super Bowl? Who knows, but it should be fun to watch.

The Rest

* The Jacksonville Jaguars are almost the mirror opposite of the Colts — who they beat twice last year. They have a stingy defense and solid special teams, but lack consistency on offense. They brought in a new offensive coordinator and look to go vertical more often. Byron Leftwich will be looking to go deep to youngsters like Reggie Williams and college-QB-turned-receiver Matt Jones. Both have the physical talent, but have yet to prove it in the pros. The Jags hope veteran Jimmy Smith can lead the way. They might have trouble in the running game because who wants to bet whether Fred Taylor makes it through the season? That's what I thought. The Jags are tough, but I am not sure they have it together enough to take the division.

* The Houston Texans have some talent with QB David Carr, RB Domanick Davis, and WR Andre Johnson, but the questions is whether they are tough enough. Until I see some consistent talent and effort on the offensive and defensive lines, I don't think they can go very far. Entertaining at times? Yes, but not playoff-caliber yet.

* After coming inches short of Super Bowl win, the Titans have faded into a mediocre team. Steve McNair has been the walking wounded and what used to be a veteran led and smash mouth team is now a young and weak team. McNair might be healthy and Travis Henry might give them a boost in the running game, but this team isn't ready for prime time.

AFC West

Here is the pertinent question: whose defense will step up and make a difference in this division? There is no question that the teams in know how to score points, but they haven't been able to stop opposing offenses when it counts. Picking a winner in this field isn't easy, but I am going to go out on a limb and say the Oakland Raiders win the division.

There is always a chance that the unstable Randy Moss will do something to undermine his success at his new home in Oakland. But on paper, the Raiders look dangerous on offense. Say what you will about Kerry Collins, but he can throw the ball deep. And in Moss, Jerry Porter, and Ronald Curry, he has the weapons to do it. Add in Lamont Jordon to run the ball, and the offense looks solid. I don't think the defense will be the best in the league, but I have a feeling they will have better chemistry and a better game plan with the newly-installed 4-3. I think they will do just enough better on offense and defense to win the division.

The Rest

* The Kansas City Chiefs can score a lot of points, too. Trent Green loves to throw it around and with tight end Tony Gonzalez and Priest Holmes has some talent around him. The Chiefs brought in Sammy Knight and Patrick Surtein to the secondary to toughen things up and rookie Derrick Johnson should be a star. I think the Chiefs will be marginally better on defense, as well, but I give the offensive edge to Oakland.

* The Denver Broncos tried to improve on defense by importing the Cleveland Browns' defensive line. Excuse me if I am less than impressed. The Broncos will probably run the ball well again with Mike Anderson and Tatum Bell, but Jake Plummer and Ashlie Lelie are just too erratic these days. I think the Chiefs and Raiders come out ahead.

* What about last year's surprising division winner the San Diego Chargers? Hard to say. Drew Brees is solid and LaDamlian Tomlinson is a power by himself. Antonio Gates and Keenan McCardell aren't slouches, either. This team might be the West Coast version of the Patriots in that they have consistency and unity as a team. If Brees can pick up where he left off last year, and if the defense can stiffen, I wouldn't be surprised if the Chargers make another run. They have the most balanced team in the division and they are the reigning champs, but I just have a sense that the Raiders are going to get hot.

So there you have it, folks: Patriots, Steelers, Colts, and Raiders for the AFC divisional winners. Check back next week for the NFC.

Posted by Kevin Holtsberry at 6:10 PM | Comments (0)

September 6, 2005

NFL Weekly Predictions: Week 1 (Part 1)

Note: The quotes in this article are fictional.

Oakland @ New England

Thursday night's NFL opener is a study in contrasts. Tom Brady versus Randy Moss. White bread and afghan throws versus ghetto blasters and cornrows. Patriots owner Robert Kraft (who allowed Russian president Vladimir Putin to pocket his Super Bowl ring) versus Raiders owner Al Davis (who would have surely gone Jack Tatum on Putin's Kremlin ass had Putin tried to pilfer one of his Super Bowl rings). Devoted family man and Patriots' kicker Adam Vinatieri versus misbehaving Raider kicker (and your drunk girlfriend's worst nightmare) Sebastian Janikowski.

The Pats are a different team because of subtraction (gone are linebackers Tedi Bruschi and Ted Johnson, as well as offensive coordinator Charlie Weis and defensive coordinator Romeo Crenel), while the Raiders' additions include Randy Moss and Lamont Jordan. That's about 1,000 pounds gone from the Patriots, and about 440 more for the Raiders. That's quite a lot of offseason action, but it doesn't end there. The real action was the startling revelations made by Tom Brady and Randy Moss. Brady revealed that he surfs for porn on the Internet, while Moss admitted to smoking marijuana, "once in a blue moon."

"Here's another startling revelation, on par with those," says Pats' coach Bill Belichick. "The sky is blue."

No! The sky is blue? You're kidding. Ask any American male with Internet access, and the likelihood is, he has surfed for porn and smoked pot, probably simultaneously.

Anyway, the Patriots have a hole to fill in the middle, with Bruschi and Johnson gone. But the Patriots more than made do with a makeshift secondary after injuries decimated their defensive backfield last year. As long as Belichick is coach, the Pats will find a way to win, no matter the circumstances. In this case, the New England defense bends, but doesn't break. The Patriots offset two Kerry Collins touchdown passes, one to Moss, with two Tom Brady TD throws and a Corey Dillon rush for a score.

Patriots win, 30-20.

As he leaves the field, Raider cornerback Charles Woodson is pelted by a snowball preserved in a season-ticket holder’s freezer since the 2002 “Snow Bowl" game. Later, Moss peers into the Massachusetts sky and sees a blue moon.

Chicago @ Washington

The Bears may have found their quarterback of the future, which, in Chicago, means that quarterback will last 2-4 games before succumbing to a leg injury or general suckmanship. In the latest case, rookie Kyle Orton won the job when incumbent Rex Grossman went down with a leg injury again, and backup Chad Hutchinson played so badly as Grossman’s replacement that he was released.

"That's two years in a row that Rex has suffered a leg injury," says Bears' coach Lovie (Don't Call Me Mrs. Thurston Howell III) Smith. "Apparently, his legs are as brittle as a Sammy Sosa corked bat. As far as Chad goes, he was doomed by his first name: Chad. Maybe he can quarterback the local chapter of Sigma Chi’s pick-up game, but not the Bears."

Orton will have some help, such as wide receiver free agent acquisition Muhsin Muhammed, and running backs Thomas Jones and rookie Cedric Benson, from the University of Texas, whom the Bears drafted with their first pick (fourth overall).

"I think the last time a Bear coach took a Texas running back in the first round," explains Smith, "Mike Ditka traded his entire draft just to get that pick. Great job, Ditka. Thank goodness you were coaching the Saints then. They're still trying to recover from that debacle."

In Washington, the biggest offseason news was the identification of Deep Throat.

"Hey," says 'Skins' coach Joe Gibbs, "please don't give away plays from our play book. 'Deep Throat,' that's one that owner Daniel Snyder drew up for me."

And I'm sure that will work, as has every decision Snyder has ever made. Like the Bears, if the Redskins win, it will be with defense. Sure, they have running back Clinton Portis, but will he get the ball enough to make a difference? In this game he will — Portis scores the game-winning TD with a fourth quarter five-yard run. Sean Taylor picks off Orton to set up the score.

Washington wins the defensive struggle, 17-13.

Snyder is elated to see Deep Throat, the play, called by Gibbs in the second quarter. It results in a two-yard pass to Santana Moss.

Cincinnati @ Cleveland

The Browns/Bengals matchup features a quarterback duel of epic proportions, one not seen since the Adam Sandler/William Fichtner clash in The Longest Yard, version 2005. It's young stud and former number one draft pick Carson Palmer leading Cincinnati against Super Bowl champion Trent Dilfer. Okay, okay. Maybe I'm over-hyping this one a bit, but after their last contest (a 58-48 Bengals victory last year in Week 12), it's got a lot to live up to. This game probably won't be that entertaining, so I'll be satisfied if Palmer or Dilfer fire a hard spiral into an opposing lineman's crotch, a la Burt Reynolds in the original The Longest Yard, a.k.a. the only one worth watching.

Anyway, this may or may not be the year the Bengals take the next step and make the playoffs, depending on whom you ask. Also, the Browns begin year one of the three or four (depending on whom you ask) plan to make the playoffs. 8-8 last year, the Bengals need a two-game turnaround to challenge for the playoffs.

"What? We can go 6-10 and make the playoffs?" asks Cincy head coach Marvin Lewis. "Did we move to the NFC West?"

No, Marvin, I mean go 10-6. Sure, it doesn't sound like much, but in the tough AFC North, it's asking quite a bit. But not to Bengal receiver Chad Johnson.

"Oh yes, there will be a six, a one, and a zero in our record," boasts Johnson. "It's called 16-0."

A bold statement, no doubt. The Browns, and new coach Romeo Crenel, are setting reasonable expectations.

"Let's face it," says Crenel, "if we can win six games, I'll be happy. And if I can make the leap into the Dawg Pound by Week 8 without the aid of a mini-trampoline, I'll be thrilled."

Palmer throws two TDs, one a 45-yard strike to Johnson, and the Bengals play ball control late by pounding workhorse Rudi Johnson. The Browns show effort and enthusiasm, and injured tight end Kellen Winslow the Deuce thrills the Stadium crowd by jumping 17 Greyhound buses at halftime on his tricked-out motorcycle.

Cincinnati wins, 31-17.

Denver @ Miami

Here's another bold prediction: Nick Saban will become the first head coach to win the NCAA National Title (or at least a share of it) one year and win the Super Bowl the next, or my name's not Jimmie Johnson. Well, my name is not Jimmie Johnson, nor is it Nostramadus, the original Vegas bookie, so this is as bold a prediction as I can give you: the Dolphins won't win this game.

Although I can’t quite put my finger on it, there’s a reason the Broncos won’t win the Super Bowl. Wait! I just put my finger on it: my middle finger. That reason is Jake Plummer, who is a great quarterback if you measure success by qualifying for the playoffs as a wild card, then getting slammed and sent packing by Indianapolis. But maybe it's not Plummer's fault; maybe it's Coach Mike Shanahan's fault for wanting Plummer in the first place. Doesn't Shanahan know he can't win a playoff game without John Elway behind center?

"Yes, I'm aware of that," says Shanahan. "And I know we can't win this game with Maurice Clarett on the roster. That's why I cut him. A brilliant move on my part. Whose idea was it to draft him in the first place?"

I'm sure it was yours, Mike. Never fear, though. As was the case the last two years, the Broncos have all the ingredients to make the playoffs, then lose in the wildcard round. That quest gets off to a good start on Sunday. Mike Anderson and Tatum Bell rush for a touchdown, and Plummer plays mistake-free.

Broncos win 31-10.

After the game, suspended Miami running back Ricky Williams announces he will play the romantic male lead in "Waiting to Inhale," the sequel to Terry MacMillan's "Waiting to Exhale."

Houston @ Buffalo

Is this a football game, or a showcase of pretty boy quarterbacks? Take the pads and helmets off, and Houston QB David Carr and Buffalo QB J.P. Losman could star in an Abercrombie and Fitch catalog, or possibly make a cameo on The O.C. The real question is: can Losman or Carr put their hair care issues aside long enough to lead their respective teams to the playoffs?

"I know I can," says Carr, deftly applying a dollop of hair gel throughout his locks. "But you'll have to ask my offensive line whether they are up to the task or not. It's hard to lead a team to the playoffs when I'm dusting myself off from a sack about four times a game."

Losman may be the second coming of former Bill backup Rob Johnson, or he could be an adequate replacement for Drew Bledsoe, who nearly led the Bills to the playoffs last year. Well, actually, Bledsoe was just the quarterback — the Buffalo defense, special teams, and running back Willis McGahee led the team to the brink of the playoffs. The Bills' organization is so high on a big year from McGahee that they are introducing a new celebration whenever McGahee scores a TD. Anytime McGahee scores, the video of the diminutive Diff’rent Strokes icon Garry Coleman appears on the jumbo-tron and announces, “What you talking 'bout, Willis?!"

“Wow!" says Coleman. “That’s the first time my name and the word 'jumbo' have ever been used in the same sentence."

Coleman makes more appearances on the big screen Sunday than he has in the last 10 years, as McGahee scores two touchdowns, one set up by a turnover, the other by a long Terrence McGee kickoff return.

Bills win, 26-7.

Don't miss Part 2 of the predictions!

Posted by Jeffrey Boswell at 6:14 PM | Comments (6)

NFL Preseason Power Rankings

Five Quick Hits

* Anything as devastating as Hurricane Katrina touches us not only on a human and humane level, but also on the sportscape. My best wishes not only to the victims of the storm and those who care about them, but also to the Saints and their fans.

* The Maurice Clarett era didn't last long.

* The devastation on the Gulf Coast touches everyone, but it's worth special notice that a lot of players and coaches are from the area hit by the hurricane. Especially tough thing to deal with when the season's starting.

* Last week, Detroit's backup QB was Jeff Garcia. Today, it's Dan Orlovsky.

* While you mourn for the victims of Hurricane Katrina, spare a thought for the victims of last year's tsunamis in East Asia. Staggering as it is to think about, the toll of the storms there was far worse than Katrina.

***

Welcome to the fourth year of NFL power rankings at Sports Central! On the Internet, four years is a long time for columns that don't run at ESPN or Sports Illustrated, and it's your support that makes this possible. My thanks.

Let's jump right into the rankings, with a quick explanation for newcomers. My power rankings are always based on how I rank a team right now, not necessarily how they're going to finish. I may rank a team I picked to win its division lower than another team within that same division, if I think one will improve or drop off significantly during the season. The number in brackets is my prediction for that team's regular-season record in 2005.

1. Indianapolis Colts [12-4] — I rank them here without enthusiasm, by process of elimination. A lot people are putting the Patriots at the top, and you really can't go wrong with that, but if you think New England is going to slip this year, you need to pick someone else number one. I don't think the Colts are going to be any better than last season, but I do believe that the Patriots, Eagles, and Steelers will all be worse. The offense should remain among the league's best, but there is some reason to question the offensive line, which lost Rick DeMulling in the offseason and let Peyton Manning hit the ground with alarming frequency this preseason. The defense, as always, will be hard-pressed to keep up with the offense.

2. Philadelphia Eagles [12-4] — Last season, I thought I was very clever ranking them eighth, since Philadelphia usually started slowly under Andy Reid. They've lost four of six season openers and are 13-11 in the first quarter of the season. But last season, they opened 7-0, and this year, I'm not going to overthink things: the Eagles, holdouts, surprising cuts, Super Bowl hangovers, and all, are the second-best team in the NFL.

3. Carolina Panthers [11-5] — The team was ravaged by early-season injuries last year (most notably Steve Smith and Kris Jenkins), but finished strong and had a decent offseason. I like the Panthers to win the NFC's strongest division, but even if they don't, the Panthers should start strong. I thought this was a pretty daring pick until I saw that SI has them winning the Super Bowl.

4. New England Patriots [11-5] — Half of you probably think I'm insane for having New England anywhere other than first, and the other half think this is too high and wonder when I'll get to the Steelers, Falcons, and Jets. On the one hand, picking against the Pats has been a recipe for disaster the last couple of years; one the other hand, this team overachieved last year and may have finally lost enough pieces to crumble. I'm picking New England to win the AFC East, but mostly just because I'm scared not to.

5. Baltimore Ravens [11-5] — The defense gets a little weaker every year (just a little, though), and gambling on the offense to do anything is risky, to say the least. I don't believe Kyle Boller will ever be a good NFL quarterback even if he can stay healthy, which I'm also not sure about. I also think Jamal Lewis is overrated, Jonathan Ogden may be getting too old to stay healthy, and Todd Heap is a piece of glass. But Derrick Mason gives the Ravens their best wide receiver in team history, and the pieces are in place for Baltimore to make a serious run this season.

6. Minnesota Vikings [10-6] — On paper, the best team in the league, by far. In real life, though, I'm not sure they'll win their own division, and I definitely don't buy the Super Bowl talk. Daunte Culpepper will be fine without Randy Moss and Scott Linehan, but I'm not sold on the receiving corps; expect Jermaine Wiggins to catch a lot of balls this season. The defense should be exponentially improved, but may take a while to gel.

7. New York Jets [10-6] — I worry about injuries as the season goes on, but for now, everyone is healthy and the Jets should be able to play with anybody. Derrick Blaylock was a nice pickup to replace Lamont Jordan, but he doesn't have Jordan's short-yardage capabilities. I wouldn't be surprised if the Jets take the AFC East this season.

8. Kansas City Chiefs [10-6] — I'll say this: they made an earnest effort to improve the defensive personnel this offseason. Kansas City could even be a Super Bowl sleeper if all the new guys work out. But I worry about chemistry, and I keep waiting for the other shoe to drop on an offense built basically on the offensive line.

9. Pittsburgh Steelers [10-6] — Jerome Bettis is 80 and Duce Staley was overworked last year. Plaxico Burress is gone. Ben Roethlisberger is the real deal, but he's going to have a challenging sophomore year in the NFL, throwing a lot more passes and a lot more interceptions. I like the defense if it can stay healthy, but two years in a row might be asking too much. If the Steelers win the AFC North again this season, expect at least one assistant coach — Russ Grimm, Dick LeBeau, and Ken Whisenhunt — to leave for a head-coaching job in 2006.

10. Atlanta Falcons [9-7] — Michael Vick's accuracy hasn't come around the way people expected, and the miserable failure that was the "Peerless Price as top receiver" experiment is finally over. Last year's Falcons rode their defense to the NFC Championship Game, and the team's hopes rest with the defense this year, too. If Vick can come around, which isn't likely with this offensive line and receiving corps, Atlanta will immediately be one of the NFL's elite teams. He'll have his moments, of course — assuming he can stay healthy, which is not a given — but I don't see a Steve Young kind of season. Honestly, Vick reminds me of Kordell Stewart in 1997.

11. San Diego Chargers [9-7] — Lots of football fans wonder whether Drew Brees was a one-year wonder. The same can be said of his team in general. My inclination is to say yes, but the Chargers, a young team that continues to come together, have cause for optimism as the season opens. The team was lucky with injuries last year, and I'll be surprised if San Diego wins the AFC West, but for now, with some misgivings, I've got them in the top half of the field.

12. Detroit Lions [9-7] — Accounting for both offseason additions and players returning from injury, the 2005 Lions have added two stud offensive linemen (Damien Woody from New England and DeMulling from Indianapolis), two first-round receivers (Charles Rogers and Mike Williams), and a reliable tight end (Marcus Pollard). That's just the offense. Betting on the Lions has historically been a losing gamble, but this team has a huge upside. I wouldn't be surprised if they miss the playoffs, but I wouldn't be surprised if they win the NFC Championship Game, either.

13. Tampa Bay Buccaneers [8-8] — The team's getting a little old on defense, but there's a dynamic young offense in place. Brian Griese has struggled with consistency throughout his pro career, but he looked very good last season. Cadillac Williams is an exciting prospect who can be spelled with Michael Pittman, and Michael Clayton probably would have won Offensive Rookie of the Year last season if Tommy Maddox had stayed healthy. The Bucs underachieved last year, but a couple early wins could give them momentum that might lead to the playoffs.

14. Buffalo Bills [9-7] — The defense is special, and everything starts there. Head coach Mike Mularkey is an offense guy, but his years of service with Bill Cowher indicate that he'll be comfortable with a conservative, run-first offense centered on Willis McGahee. If the key guys can stay healthy, the Bills will be playoff contenders, causing headaches for everyone on their schedule.

15. Denver Broncos [8-8] — Few things are reliable in today's NFL, but Bronco running backs seem to be an exception. Jake Plummer will probably throw for 3,500+ yards again this season, and Rod Smith and Ashley Lelie will both catch for about 1,000. Champ Bailey can't possibly be as bad in '05 as he was in '04, and maybe the ex-Cleveland defensive linemen will invigorate the team. The potential's there, but upper-middle of the pack sounds about right.

16. Cincinnati Bengals [8-8] — Slowly, steadily getting better. If Carson Palmer can play the way Jon Kitna did two years ago, Cincy could challenge for the division title. Palmer is one question mark, and a young defense is the other, but Marvin Lewis has exceeded expectations in his first two seasons as head coach, and I'm not going to underestimate him in the third.

17. Jacksonville Jaguars [9-7] — Defense is the strength, keyed by the interior line and hard-hitting safety Donovin Darius. QB Byron Leftwich leads an offense that should play it safe and hope Fred Taylor can stay healthy and productive. Jimmy Smith is getting close to the "ageless" label, producing year after year. Rookie first-round choice Matt Jones is one of the most intriguing young players in the league, a physical marvel converted to wide receiver, where coaches hope he'll perform opposite Smith.

18. Seattle Seahawks [8-8] — The first representative of the NFC West. This team is fantastic on paper, but that was true last season, too, and Seattle played without any heart in 2004. Sometimes little things can make a difference — if Grant Wistrom stays healthy and Matt Hasselbeck plays with some confidence, that could be the difference between 9-7 and 12-4. I don't see things coming together, though: the Seahawks are less than the sum of their parts.

19. Dallas Cowboys [8-8] — This is basically on faith in Bill Parcells. Jason Ferguson, Marco Rivera, and Anthony Henry were nice offseason pickups, while Drew Bledsoe is a clear upgrade at quarterback — although I have doubts about what he can do with the 'Boys' receiving corps. Tight end Jason Witten should have a very strong season. I anticipate watching Dallas on the bubble of the wildcard picture, but if anyone overtakes Philly for the NFC East title in 2005, this would be the team.

20. Houston Texans [7-9] — The defense is coming together, and the offensive 'skill' positions are there, but I don't see an offensive line to bring the thing together. Houston signed Tony Boselli years ago and still doesn't seem to have realized that he's done. The team has potential, but I don't see it being able to overcome the tough AFC South.

21. Green Bay Packers [8-8] — Really, this is probably too low. There's a ton of talent on offense, and getting Jim Bates to run the defense was a coup. But the secondary may be even worse than last year's, and Brett Favre has become a decided liability in clutch situations. The tools are still there, but his decision-making isn't what it used to be. And of course, there's always the remote possibility that his health will give out.

22. St. Louis Rams [8-8] — They slip a little more every year. The aging offensive line should be excellent if it can stay healthy, and that's the strongest unit on the team. Torry Holt may be the best wide receiver in the NFL, but honestly, the problem isn't the players on the field, it's the coaching from the sidelines. They underachieved against everyone but the Seahawks last year, and they got embarrassed out of the playoffs.

23. New Orleans Saints [6-10] — I liked their chances a lot better when they had a home stadium. The Saints have a staggering psychological burden to deal with this season, and I think it ruins their chances at what could have been a very good season. Defense is the weak point, and I believe this will be Jim Haslett's last season as the team's head coach.

24. Arizona Cardinals [6-10] — I've been trying very hard to resist the hype that says Arizona will win the NFC West this season. It's hard, since I have so little faith in Seattle and St. Louis, but I have equally little faith in Kurt Warner, especially behind a mediocre offensive line; Warner needs about a year and half to throw the ball, and anything less means a sack or an interception. A good receiving corps should help, but I don't think it's enough.

25. Tennessee Titans [6-10] — I wanted to put them higher than this. I love the coaching staff, and I'm not ready to give up on young RB Chris Brown or old QB Steve McNair. Even if Brown underperforms, I'm a Travis Henry believer. But I don't like Drew Bennett as the first guy you look to throw to, and I don't think the defense — which is awfully green — is up to the challenge this season.

26. Oakland Raiders [6-10] — I think everyone would feel better if the team had a defense, but every football fan in North America is excited about seeing what Norv Turner can do with Randy Moss and Jerry Porter. Kerry Collins has the arm to get his receivers the ball, and although I feel Lamont Jordan is overrated, he represents a legitimate running back for Turner to give some carries. The old Oakland/K.C. rivalry is going to produce some ridiculous over-unders this season.

27. Miami Dolphins [5-11] — A tough AFC East may mask the truth, but the Dolphins should be much improved in 2005. I don't have high hopes for the offense, but the defense should be among the league's best, even if some of the big names are past their primes.

28. New York Giants [6-10] — Plaxico Burress will be to the Giants what Peerless Price was to the Falcons, but Eli Manning will probably suck less in his second season than he did in the first, so the Giants might be okay this season. They do get an extra home game.

29. Washington Redskins [6-10] — If you think this team is going anywhere this season, you obviously have a great deal of faith in Joe Gibbs. The preseason seemed to indicate that the defense may be able to replicate last year's magic, but the offense is a wreck. Gibbs has no faith in his quarterback, the receivers are terrible, and Clinton Portis is useless in such a weak offense, especially if it's as conservative as last season.

30. Cleveland Browns [4-12] — Any bad team that adds Romeo Crennel, Joe Andruzzi, Jason Fisk, Trent Dilfer, and Reuben Droughns has to improve at least a little, right? 2005 is the first step of a rebuilding process, but Cleveland will be better than last season.

31. Chicago Bears [3-13] — There's real talent on defense, especially in the secondary. But defense wasn't the problem last season: the Bears had the worst offense in the league. Cedric Benson and Muhsin Muhammad could help, and if one or two of the quarterbacks stay healthy you never know what could happen, but I see Chicago solidly last in its division.

32. San Francisco 49ers [3-13] — Last year, Julian Peterson missed most of the season — if he's healthy this time around, that could make a difference. The 49ers play in such an awful division that I'm tempted to slip in something clever about them being a playoff sleeper, but it just isn't true. They're going to be really bad.

AFC Playoffs

Wildcard: BALTIMORE def. Jets, Pittsburgh def. KANSAS CITY
Divisional: INDIANAPOLIS def. Pittsburgh, NEW ENGLAND def. Baltimore
Championship: New England def. INDIANAPOLIS

NFC Playoffs

Wildcard: MINNESOTA def. Detroit, Atlanta def. ST. LOUIS
Divisional: PHILADELPHIA def. Atlanta, CAROLINA def. Minnesota
Championship: Carolina def. PHILADELPHIA

Super Bowl XL: Carolina def. New England

Posted by Brad Oremland at 5:54 PM | Comments (15)

Are Women Playing at the U.S. Open?

Actually, I can confirm right in the beginning of this article that women are playing because Justine Henin-Hardenne and Mary Pierce are on TV as I write this article. But I had to blink twice to make sure!

It's not just me, either. I browsed around various tennis discussion forums online, and men's draw related messages outnumber the women's draw related messages almost by three-to-one. Even in most popular sports websites, the articles related to men's matches are longer and more analytical, where as most women's match news don't go much further than merely reporting the scores and who the players will face in the next round.

However, don't blame the messengers. The women's draw so far has consisted of bunch of matches, under an hour long, without much excitement. The big names have consistently outplayed their opponents, only stopping short of collecting an hourly fee for a tennis lesson, when they shake their hapless opponents' hands at the end of the matches. Svetlana Kuznetsova being upset and making history as the first title defender to lose in the first round was by far the only women's draw related newsworthy happening of the tournament so far.

One can't fault CBS and USA Channel, either. Seeing the writing on the wall, they desperately tried to talk up the Williams' sisters matchup for days and days, only to watch it offer subpar tennis quality and an obvious victory by Venus. Here is an idea: they could show more of the most exciting woman in the tournament, James Blake's girlfriend!

But don't fret, tennis fans. There is an upside to this scenario. Obviously, the higher seeds are far better players than the rest of the pack, which should result in numerous high-quality matches once they begin to clash with each other. Has this not been the scenario on the women's tour for a long time now, anyway? Were we expecting anything different during the U.S. Open? This scenario has been the reality of WTA Tour for a while.

However, I also doubt that we expected to get slapped this hard on the face with the reality.

Top-seed Maria Sharapova has yet to lose a set, has lost only 12 games in four matches, and has averaged well under an hour per match. Third-seed Amelie Mauresmo, who is not even considered as a heavy favorite to win the U.S. Open, has also yet to lose a set, lost 19 games in four matches, averaged slightly over an hour per match. Most other top seeds are in the same boat.

In fact, ladies and gentleman, not counting Kuznetsova's loss, you have to go down to sixth-seed Elena Dementieva to find a set lost by a high-seeded player. Oh, wait! Stop the press! As I am writing this, seventh-seed Henin-Hardenne just lost the first set against Mary Pierce. Maybe I should keep writing.

By contrast, the men's action has provided plenty of thrilling moments and stories. James Blake has been the story of the tournament, eliminating Rafael Nadal on the way and setting up a potentially epic battle with Andre Agassi in the quarterfinals. Of course, it helped the ratings that Americans have done well, also.

Let's put things into perspective. Davide Sanguinetti, with his shiny gray hair, still being alive in the round of 16s is a story in and out of itself. Richard Gasquet's progress has been a major story in all European tennis publications. Dominik Hrbaty's shirt is the most stunning male tennis shirt ever witnessed in a Grand Slam. Some high-quality matches also provided high-quality drama, extending to fifth set tiebreakers (ex: Xavier Malisse vs. Mikhail Youzhny).

However, these otherwise newsworthy events have been shadowed by a bald 35-year-old guy who smells blood with the early departures of Rafael Nadal and Andy Roddick. Speaking of Andy Roddick, his mojo, or lack there of, has been a bigger story than his tennis display. Roger Federer, despite winning routinely, is ever-pleasant to watch. His tennis combined with Fabrice Santoro's magic shot-making was the most entertaining straight set victory by a top-seed in a long time.

Men's action has been so overwhelmed with greatness that some of the best players in the world have not even received a bit of attention so far. Have you heard much about Guillermo Coria until he got into a bickering duel with his opponent Nicolas Massu in the round of 16s? Furthermore, have you heard the third-seed Lleyton Hewitt's name mentioned other than when he played Taylor Dent?

Once again, don't fault the media. The lack of mentioning the above stories was not by design, but by necessity. The men's draw has been a dream come true for the media. Unlike the women's action, with so many stories to cover on the men's side, they had the luxury to pick and choose amongst them. The only thing that could top it all would be a clash between Andre Agassi and Roger Federer in the finals.

Oh, wow! As I finish this article, Mary Pierce has just finished the upset of Henin-Hardenne following an exciting match (too bad I can't keep writing until the end of the week). Yes, you read it correctly. It was indeed an exciting match, and yes, the ladies are playing at the U.S. Open! I am ready for some excitement on both sides the rest of the way.

Posted by Mert Ertunga at 2:57 PM | Comments (2)

2005 NFL Preview: Seattle Seahawks

Sponsored by CyberSportsbook.com

Last Year

"We want the ball and we're going to score" were the famous last words of a Seattle Seahawks team who looked to be on the rise after a playoff appearance in 2003. Even though they carried over the momentum into 2004 by winning the first three games, their caliber noticeably declined as the season progressed. Division rival St. Louis had their number and triumphed over the Seahawks three times, including the final meeting in the playoffs. The seat is getting awfully warm for head coach Mike Holmgren, who needs to start producing results.

What We Learned From Last Year

After week three of the NFL season, few teams looked as good as the Seahawks. They were 3-0 with two wins coming on the road and had outscored their first three opponents 65-13. Meanwhile, the St. Louis Rams were only 1-2.

With a bye week to prepare for the all-important matchup with the Rams, all signs pointed to a changing of the guards in the NFC West. With a 17-point lead with less than six minutes left in the fourth quarter, the Seahawks collapsed. The Rams sparked an improbable comeback, ending the Seahawks' 10-game home winning streak.

The loss seemingly changed the path of the Seahawks' season. Prior to it, they were a dangerous young team on the rise. After it, their self-esteem took a serious hit and they regressed into the form of another mediocre NFC team.

A young defense that had allowed only 13 points in the first three games was suddenly very permissive. They allowed 387 points the rest of the way (30 points per game).

Ray Rhodes was hired in 2003 to improve the 28th-ranked defense, but his impact has been minimal to this point as the squad ranked 26th last year (351.3 yards per game).

The addition of Bobby Taylor was supposed to provide an impact cornerback opposite of Marcus Trufant, but his 10 tackles and zero interceptions were of little assistance. In his defense, a chronic knee injury did slow him down.

An injury also took another veteran player from the defense as Pro Bowl talent Chad Brown took part in only seven games. The team's second-best linebacker, Anthony Simmons, also only played in only seven games.

Defensive tackle had been a weakness for years and the team addressed that with first-round pick Marcus Tubbs. He struggled in his first season. Starting defensive tackles Cedric Woodard and Rashad Moore were only average, leaving the Seahawks fairly frail up the middle. They allowed opponents to rush for 126.7 yards per game.

Rookie Michael Boulware was a splendid surprise second-round pick for the Seahawks as he split time at linebacker and safety. He was second on the team with five interceptions and proved to be a vital playmaker.

The offense was led by Matt Hasselbeck and Shaun Alexander and was rarely the weak link for Seattle.

The main dilemma for the offense was production from the wide receivers as their well-publicized inconsistencies continued. Jerry Rice's work ethic didn't rub off and Koren Robinson turned into a distraction with his incessant off-field problems. Darrell Jackson did lead the way in yards and receptions, but he still dropped too many balls for a top receiver.

The Seahawks had the lowest third-down conversion percentage amongst teams who went to the playoffs and most of that had to do with a lack of sure hands.

Holmgren hasn't exactly failed as a coach in Seattle, but it is clear that the team has fallen short of expectations throughout most of his tenure. He will need a legitimate excuse for not making the second round of the playoffs if he plans to keep his job.

This Year

The Seattle Seahawks enter the 2005 season as the favorites to win the NFC West, but since the games are not played on paper, Seattle has a lot of proving to do.

First off, they will have to prove they can beat the St. Louis Rams.

St. Louis matches up very well against Seattle because their offense can score at will. Seattle does not get enough pressure on Marc Bulger and they don't have the cornerbacks to cover the three or four wide receiver sets.

To create pressure, the Seahawks will inert two new starters at defensive tackle to help curtail the time opposing quarterbacks have to throw.

Second-year player Marcus Tubbs has looked excellent in the preseason and will likely start with Chartric Darby at tackle. Although Darby is undersized, Tubbs is a wide load to deal with. The key here is that both have uncanny quickness — particularly Tubbs. When you have a tackle with that kind of speed, not only is he a force to reckon with in the running game, he will be a problem collapsing the pocket, as well.

There are wholesale changes on the defense with as many as seven new starters coming in.

Aside from Tubbs and Darby on the defensive line, Bryce Fisher will be a new face opposite of Grant Wistrom at the end position. Fisher will have to fill the shoes of Chike Okeafor, who left to Arizona. Wistrom and Fisher are reliable and should Tubbs continue to emerge, they won't have to face many double-teams.

Former stalwarts Chad Brown and Anthony Simmons are no longer on the Seahawks roster, but in fairness, both have been injury prone. Both were playmakers, but Simmons only played 27 games in the last three seasons while Brown only played in 29 contests.

Jamie Sharper, who was brought over from Houston, will man one of the outside positions and is far more durable. He has yet to miss a game in his career.

The other two starters will be D.D. Lewis and Niko Koutouvides with rookie Lofa Tatupu pushing for time. Lewis is raw player who is also injury-prone while Koutouvides, last year's fourth-round pick, is a sure-tackler. Tatupu is the future if he can bulk up. He has impeccable instincts.

The secondary as whole has more depth at cornerback, but neither Andre Dyson nor Kelly Herndon, two free agent pickups, are individually as good as the departed Ken Lucas. Dyson is an above-average second cornerback and Herndon is a solid nickel back — although he is too slow for the Rams receivers.

Free safety is a concern with Ken Hamlin is a little overaggressive at times, but strong safety Michael Boulware will carry the tandem. He looks like a future Pro Bowler.

One thing that doesn't make sense about the Seahawks offseason was the fact that they spent two of their first three draft selections on offense when the defense clearly needs the help.

With defensive tackle Mike Patterson and cornerback Marlin Jackson on the board in the first round, those players would have made more sense than an offensive lineman. Even if the Seahawks wanted to draft for the offense, wide receiver Roddy White would have made a lot of sense.

The offensive line is a very strong unit and is likely deeper than any in the league. Right tackle Floyd "Porkchop" Womack could be out for a prolonged period of time with a triceps injury and Seattle is one of the few teams that can handle a wound like that without much of a drop-off.

The Seahawks have cut ties with Koren Robinson and his nonstop troubles, but don't really have many options to step in his place. Bobby Engram, Jerome Pathon, and Joe Jurevicious are all better suited for third or fourth receiver roles. Peter Warrick is a playmaker, but he does his best work from the slot — the same position Engram plays.

They should give a phone call to the San Diego Chargers, who had a similar offense last season with a stud running back and no wide receivers. Maybe then they could figure out how to milk Jerramy Stevens' talents. He has had a good offseason, he is in a perfect environment to succeed and could really help this offense thrive, particularly on third downs.

Seattle has made a lot of defensive changes but the linebacking corps remains a glaring weakness while on offense, they still need uncover another target to who will team with Darrell Jackson. The combination of those two weaknesses and an improved division could be enough to keep this team inconsistent.

Over/Under: 8.5

We know the Seahawks can't beat the Rams and we know that the Cardinals and the 49ers will be improved. Seattle also has Indianapolis, Philadelphia, Jacksonville, and Atlanta on the agenda. Not the easiest of schedules. They play: @JAX, ATL, @WAS, DAL, NYG, @PHI, @TEN, IND, and @GB.

Fantasy Sleeper

Darrell Jackson is the only Seahawks receiver to ever post a 1,000-yard season, so its evident this team will be looking for options. Jerramy Stevens is a smooth athlete with great hands and might be the next Antonio Gates-type sleeper if gets his act together. Someone has to catch the ball.

Stay tuned as Dave Golokhov brings you previews for all 32 NFL teams! Sponsored by CyberSportsbook.com, a great casino for horse racing and sportsbook action.

Posted by Dave Golokhov at 1:25 PM | Comments (0)

September 5, 2005

Cy Young For Carpenter? Not So Fast!

With the beginning of September, we enter Pennant Race Season, Rookie Call-Up Season, and, yes, Award Speculation Season. If your team's pennant race is over, it doesn't mean the fun is gone until October. Who doesn't enjoy debating the "true intent" of the MVP Award? And who doesn't afford the meaning of "value" the same scrutiny as the proclamations of the Founding Fathers? That's what I thought.

In that spirit, it's time to examine one of this year's tightest award races: the National League Cy Young.

Take a look at any list of NL pitching leaders and three names come to the fore with regularity: Chris Carpenter, Dontrelle Willis, and Roger Clemens.

All three have had outstanding seasons to this point, and each has earned the right to be recognized for his work this year. Nonetheless, I'm inclined at this point (keeping in mind that there are still four weeks to go in the season, and the picture could change a bit in that time) to narrow this to a two-man race between Carpenter and Clemens.

The reason is pretty simple. Each of these three guys has a particular strength that makes him stand out from the rest of the pack. For Clemens, it's obviously the ERA. If the season ended as of this writing, Clemens' 1.57 would be the lowest single-season figure since Greg Maddux's 1.56 in 1994. Oh, by the way — the mound was a little higher when Maddux did it.

For Carpenter and Willis, the eye-catcher is the high win total, combined with an outstanding winning percentage. Carpenter won his 20th game the other night, and Willis is currently sitting on 19 with an excellent chance for 20+. In terms of the Cy Young, though, Willis' problem is that his biggest strength is the same as Carpenter's, and Carpenter just plays that game better. On wins, it's 20-19, Carpenter. Losses? Carpenter's 4 to Dontrelle's 6. Complete games are now 7-6, Carpenter.

So, it's Carpenter vs. Clemens.

In the actual voting, Carpenter is almost a shoe-in. As a rule, wins trump all when it comes to the Cy Young, but who should win this year's award? Let's try to find out.

Of course, Carpenter blows Clemens away in the wins category, but it's hard to think that this comparison is a fair representation of the way that each has pitched this year. Both have started 28 games. Clemens has 24 quality starts to Carpenter's 25, and Clemens' ERA is over half a run better, but he has nine fewer wins and two more losses to show for his work. How much of that is bad luck?

Well, of Carpenter's 25 quality starts (starts in which he pitched at least six innings and surrendered three or fewer earned runs), 20, or 80 percent, became wins. Of Clemens' 24 quality starts, 10 (about 42 percent) became wins. Part of that difference stems from the fact that Carpenter has finished seven games, while Clemens has completed one. The bullpen has surrendered three of Clemens' leads over the course of the season, while Carpenter has gone deep enough in most games that it hasn't been a factor. Carpenter has earned that high win rate in quality starts.

At the same time, 42 percent is a ridiculously low rate for Clemens. What about 60 percent? Does it seem fair that the average pitcher would win 60 percent of the games in which he gives up three or fewer earned runs in six or more innings? It does to me, so we'll look at Clemens' record with that rate inserted: 15-6.

A big part of the problem for Clemens has been a lack of run support. While Carpenter has been the pitcher of record this year, the Cardinals have scored an average of 5.25 runs, while Clemens has seen just 3.61 runs cross the plate during his starts. In addition, the Astros' run support has been clumpy. Clemens has one cheap win to his credit, in which he surrendered five runs over six innings, but still got the win. On the other side of the coin, however, he has lost five quality starts, while Carpenter has lost just two such games.

The kicker, though, are the shutouts. Clemens has left an incredible 10 games in which he has held the opposition scoreless. He has won a grand total of four. Four! (Carpenter has shut out the opposition four times, as well, winning all four times.) Clemens has been on the losing end of five 1-0 scores. Carpenter's Cardinals have only been shut out once during his starts (4-0 vs. Boston). If we award Clemens a win in 70 percent of his shutouts (once again, this seems extremely fair), we're looking at three more wins for Clemens. His record is now 18-6 to Carpenter's 20-4, for those of you keeping score at home.

Some other things to think about: Clemens has left seven games with his team trailing, and has lost six of those. Carpenter has left six games trailing, losing three.

After accounting for their win-loss differences, let's look at a few other factors. Carpenter has finished seven games this year, with four shutouts. That certainly counts for something. On Clemens' side, he has been slightly more dominant than Carpenter when he has been in the game. At age 43, his pitch counts have been too high for him to finish a lot of games, but his strikeout rate is better than Carpenter's, and he's surrendered 41 fewer hits and 21 fewer earned runs.

Ultimately, I believe it comes down to how much value you place on playing for a winning team. The Cardinals will cruise to the playoffs and possibly to the National League crown. The Astros will be playing golf in October. The big question is how much responsibility we can assign to Carpenter for the Cardinals' success. Would they be significantly worse without him?

This is a tough question, and it's beyond the scope of what I want to do here. I will say this, however. Of Carpenter's 20 wins, just four have come in games where the Cardinals scored three runs or fewer. In other words, a lot of his wins have come in games that a lot of guys could have won. As for those three nail-biters, the Cardinals currently sport a 13.5-game lead on the Astros in the NL Central.

Carpenter's been great, but he hasn't been the difference between the Cardinals making the postseason or not, nor has he been the difference between a tight pennant race and the laugher you see before you. So, before we toast Carpenter as the Cy Young winner based on his "winning team" credentials, let's not forget that this is a pretty good team without him.

Ultimately, Carpenter should start clearing out space on his mantel for some upcoming hardware, but don't be fooled — Clemens has a stronger case than most will admit.

Posted by Zach Jones at 12:23 PM | Comments (4)

I Hate Mondays: Meet Sapp, Gandy

Sponsored by CyberSportsbook.com

Like one of Gerome Sapp's favorite books, Angels and Demons, the Indianapolis Colts' past two seasons have been fast-paced, intriguing, and have kept their viewers suspended and thrilled.

But wait a second ... who is Gerome Sapp?

Oh sure, you're familiar with the Peyton Mannings and the Edgerrin Jameses of the world, but what about their lesser-known supporting cast?

Gerome Sapp is a third-year defensive back that currently sits as a backup safety on the Colts depth chart behind starters Bob Sanders and Mike Doss.

At 6-1, 216 pounds, he is a hard-hitting safety, but don't pin him as a jock. He's cerebral on the field and off it.

After all, he did graduate from Notre Dame with a bachelor's degree in finance. Football is most definitely a priority for him, but it's pretty rare to find an NFL player who can speak fluently about blanketing routes or leveraged buyouts.

But that's exactly why his stock has matured in the Colts defense. Tony Dungy doesn't necessarily require media stars — he loves to employ intelligent and versatile players.

That trend is more evident on the offensive line than at any other position in Indianapolis. They are not exactly a who's who of linemen and only one (Tarik Glenn) was a Pro Bowl selection last year. But in the last 96 games, they have only allowed 120 sacks as a group, the lowest total in the NFL.

The newest addition to the protection scheme is fourth-round pick Dylan Gandy, who comes from a pro-style Texas Tech offense and has played both guard and center.

Offensive line coach Howard Mudd has made a name for himself by molding quality prospects into quality offensive linemen and Gandy is the next in line.

Once his sprained right foot heals up, Gandy will slide into the starting lineup and protect the precious cargo that is Peyton Manning.

But Gandy isn't just an agile bully that pushes roadblocks out of the way. In college, he garnered All-Big 12 honors not only for football, but for academic studies, as well.

While Sapp enjoys his Bloomberg and the newspaper business section in the comfort of his own home, Gandy is more of an outdoorsman. He likes to fish, hike, and camp while occasionally plugged into the serene tunes of Shane Barnard.

With 65-man rosters in the NFL, it is hard to get familiar with all the cogs, but these two will be important for the Colts this year.

Sapp is not only vital as a special teams contributor, he can play both the strong and free safety spots, which is crucial, considering Doss and Sanders have yet to make it through a full season.

Gandy will also be depended on heavily in his first season. The offensive line, which led the NFL in fewest sacks allowed last year (14), has permitted 20 in the preseason.

These two are not attention-seekers like Terrell Owens and his agent, Drew Rosenhaus. They, along with their agent from X-A-M Sports, don't do a lot of unnecessary talking, but they sure do the walking.

Dan Brown and Shane Barnard mix like Mondays and me.

"No man ever said on his deathbed, 'I wish I had spent more time at the office.'" — Senator Paul Tsongas

Don't miss next week's installment of "I Hate Mondays," sponsored by CyberSportsbook.com, a great sportsbook for horse racing and casino action!

Posted by Dave Golokhov at 11:47 AM | Comments (0)

A U.S. Open Tribute

If you read my column, then you know that I often take a detour away from the regular professional player commentary to cover those interesting stories that make professional tennis great. Today's column is another one of those, and I hope you will enjoy it.

From as long as I can remember, I have been fascinated by a man who has been the face of professional tennis in America and abroad for nearly 40 years. Every time I have been in his presence, I am 43 going on 12. I have long desired to follow in his footsteps, and have secretly (okay, not so secretly, you got me) wanted to be his heir apparent.

I'm not exactly sure why, but there is something that just attracted me to his craft and his performance. A self-professed "hacker," he has always been known much more for his journalistic endeavors in tennis then his time as a player and coach. He may be the most recognizable face in professional tennis worldwide. He is definitely the most recognizable dresser in all of professional tennis.

Yes, you guessed it, it's Bud Collins. Known for his cutting commentary and his variety of, well, interestingly-fashioned pants, Bud has long been my idol and the one person who connects tennis over the decades of the open era. And I am like a giddy little kid around him.

Like this past Thursday. While waiting for a colleague at the media entrance at the Open, I happened to run into Mr. Collins as he was coming out of the media area and heading out on the grounds of the National Tennis Center. I didn't immediately notice Bud by face, but I couldn't miss the purple pants with bright red chili peppers all over them. Topped by a conservative polo shirt and jacket, this was Bud in all his splendor.

As he stopped and greeted me, I became like a kid again. We talked briefly and pleasantly about the game, and other things. Then, a couple of youngsters approached him and he transitioned perfectly into the game's greatest spokesperson for all generations. I just stood there in awe as Bud brought the game to vivid color for another generation of professional tennis fans. Bud completed his conversation with them then returned to me, gave me an autograph on my Evian water fan, and then said goodbye and reminded me about his tennis writer's association meeting next week.

Thank you, Bud, for showing me and millions of others the artistry, beauty, and grace of the professional tennis game. Thanks for being there at the Open this year.

This column is about two stories, this one about the unsung heroes of the U.S. Open and professional tennis. The NYPD. Long before September 11th, 2001, the NYPD has been on-site at the Open to keep the players, fans, and friends of tennis safe from trouble and to assist us with things as important as getting medical attention and as trivial as how to get out of the Shea Stadium parking lot and get back to the LIE. (Thank you, fine officers, for giving me the tip on the Van Wyck.) My exposure this year is actually tied to my meeting Bud Collins.

The security at the entrance to the media center always has security personnel. This year, I had the opportunity to get to know for few minutes the lovely young woman who kept guard over the doors to media center. While I did not get her name (forgive me detective) I was impressed by the NYPD detectives’ demeanor, and her spirit and enthusiasm. My conversation with her was most pleasant, and we shared a laugh or two, especially over Bud Collin's pants.

It was this fine detective who pointed out to me Mr. Collin's dress for the day, and we both giggled when he appeared through the media center doors in those purple chili pepper pants. What I saw and found in this detective is what makes the NYPD truly the finest police force on this planet. I found her to be a real "human being." A pure soul, truly caring about the people she was directed to protect and about those who benefit from the party that is the Open.

Walk the grounds of the NTC and you will see uniformed and plain clothes policeman, watching carefully over the professional players who walk unescorted to and from the practice and show courts, who keep a watchful eye over the public who attend, and add a visible security blanket to the highest-attended annual sporting event in the world. (Over 700,000 people will pass through the gates of the NTC this year.) All go practically unnoticed, and every year are the unsung heroes of the tournament.

So, for making professional tennis and the U.S. Open the great events they are, and for making my U.S. Open experience the most memorable ever, thank you, Bud, and thank you, detective. Actually, thank you seems just too small for the great things you did and do.

Posted by Tom Kosinski at 11:08 AM | Comments (1)

September 3, 2005

Offseason Over, 'Noles Ready For Miami

It's been an especially tough summer for Bobby Bowden and his No. 12-ranked Florida State Seminoles. You'd think getting rid of a huge headache like Chris Rix would be beneficial to FSU's program. But when the pre-season rolled around, a bigger headache awaited the winningest coach in NCAA history.

That bigger headache came in the form of a deranged semi-nude Wyatt Sexton prancing around the streets of Tallahassee in the wee hours of the summer morning claiming to police officers that he was god. It sounded like something made for a corny football movie like Varsity Blues. But this was real life.

Then it came to pass that Sexton hadn't just had a night of indiscretion, but that he really was quite ill. His form of lime's disease was so advanced that Sexton had to be hospitalized and he will have to sit out the entire 2005 football season. Sexton had been to the Bonaroo music festival the week before, a three-day Woodstock-esque outdoor concert. His attendance at the festival prompted accusations of drug use as an explanation for his strange behavior. Instead of the brown acid being the culprit, however, it turned out to be the brown insect: the tick.

So just when Bowden thought that he would be giving the ball to an experienced quarterback in his season-opener against their hated rival, No. 8 Miami, he was back to square one. Bowden is in the same position he was when Chris Rix's career with the Seminoles started — an inexperienced freshman making the most important decisions on the field. A rookie as the field general. For the Seminoles' sake, for Xavier Lee and Drew Weatherford's sake, and for the sake of every Seminole fan, let's hope these freshmen have better adaptability than Rix.

Rix's tenure with the Florida State Seminoles was one long tumultuous ride. From his inception, he was deemed the legacy to Chris Weinke's empire. He was going to be the savior that led the Seminoles into their next era of glory. He was going to make everyone forget about that embarrassing loss to Oklahoma in the Orange Bowl in 2000. He was quick, athletic, and had a cannon.

But something went wrong in between Rix's first flip into the Doke Campbell Stadium end zone against Alabama-Birmingham and his final snap three years later against West Virginia. Rix never grew, he never adapted to collegiate secondary coverage, he never got smarter. He never became the quarterback that everybody thought he would be. And as a result, the FSU program struggled through four seasons, losing an unheard of total of 15 games.

Some people chalk Rix's failures to Bobby's son, Jeff Bowden, the Seminoles' offensive coordinator. Fans have been calling for Jeff's head on a stick for quite a while now. Other people just blame Rix. He wasn't exactly the most popular guy after all of his antics. He had to sit out a bowl game against Georgia because he missed a religion exam, which left Anquan Boldin as the starting QB. He has more campus parking tickets than Newman from Seinfeld. And his pretty boy, gold cross-wearing, squeaky-clean image left some of us FSU alums (i.e. me) wanting to throw up.

But let's not dwell on past problems. The 'Noles have enough problems ahead of themselves. Bowden finally made a decision on Tuesday between his two freshmen QBs. He decided to go with Drew Weatherford over Xavier Lee, probably influenced by Lee's recent shoulder injury. Weatherford is a 6-3, 220 lb. hoss out of the little-known high school Land O' Lakes. He has been prone to injury in his very short collegiate career. In his only play from scrimmage last season against North Carolina, Weatherford sprained his right ankle and had to finish the season as a medical red shirt. Then, in spring practices in April, he suffered another injury to his ankle that required surgery.

But the news isn't all bad about the former All-Florida first-team QB. As a junior at Land O' Lakes high, Drew threw for 2,494 yards on 151-215, he had 27 touchdowns, and only 2 interceptions. As a senior, Drew didn't fall off with 2,639 yards on 172-of-341 attempts and 20 touchdowns.

But as promising as Drew seems, Xavier Lee seems that much better. Xavier Lee is 6-4, 227 pounds, and built like a brick outhouse. At Seabreeze high school in Daytona Beach, Lee became the state of Florida's all-time leader in passing yards with 9,082, completions with 549 and touchdowns with 98. He was Mr. Football in 2003, when he rushed for 567 yards on 104 carries with 10 touchdowns.

Despite all of their accolades, neither man really left a great impression on Bowden during scrimmages. Lee's best game was April 9th when he went for 140 yards on 7-of-13 passing and 3 touchdowns. Drew Weatherford's best was the first scrimmage when he went 7-of-8 for 64 yards. Weatherford will be the starter against Miami, but Lee will be looming not far behind on the sidelines. It will be interesting to see if Bowden sticks with Weatherford for the entire game if he begins to struggle against the powerful 'Canes' defense.

But the quarterback position is not the only one that has seen its troubles this offseason. The defense has had its run-ins with the law, academics, and injuries, as well. The biggest blow to the team this season has been the loss of first-team All-ACC cornerback Antonio Cromartie. Cromartie led the team, and was second in the nation last season with 4 interceptions. He was lost for the season in spring practices with a knee injury. Academics claimed another one of the Seminoles' starters on defense. Projected starting nose guard Clifton Dickson was ruled academically ineligible earlier this year.

And, of course, what would a Florida State season be without a little trouble with the 5-O. Keeping with the tradition of kicker Sebastian Janikowski (bribery), wide receivers Laveranues Coles and Peter Warrick (grand theft), linemen Darnell Dockett (grand theft), quarterback Adrian McPherson (gambling on his own game), and linebacker Travis Johnson (sexual assault), among many others, the Seminoles added two more players to their list of deviants.

Linebackers A.J Nicholson and Ernie Sims were both arrested in separate incidents over the summer. Nicholson was charged with a first-time DUI offense. And Sims was charged with disorderly conduct stemming from a domestic fight with his live-in girlfriend. Sims got off with two days of community service and Nicholson got 50 hours of community service, plus three days in a Sheriff's work program. And sticking with typical FSU fashion, both have been cleared by Bobby Bowden to play Monday night against Miami.

Despite the mountain of problems facing the Florida State football program this season and really for the past four or five seasons, the sky is still the limit for this team's potential. As usual, the 'Noles are jam-packed with NFL talent. Although youthful, both Weatherford and Lee have the skill to be the next Weinke or Charlie Ward. The tailback tandem of Lorenzo Booker and Leon Washington will leave defenses begging for mercy. The two could be the team's best asset this season. Last year, they combined for 1,838 yards last season on 311 carries and ran for 11 touchdowns.

The wide receiver core lacks that superstar of old with the departures the last few years of guys like Anquan Boldin (Cardinals), Javon Walker (Packers), Talmon Gardner, Peter Warrick (Seahawks), and Marvin 'Snoop' Mennis (Dolphins).

This season, the freshman quarterbacks will be looking for Willie Reid, FSU's talented PR/WR/RB, to be their main target. Although Reid has great speed and the ability to find holes in the defense, he has never been a go to receiver. And on third-down when the freshmen need someone to go to, he will have to step up his play.

Freshman Fred Rouse and sophomore De'Cody Fagg will also help out at the wideout position. Rouse was considered to be the top-rated receiver in the nation in this year's recruiting class by most publications. He had 608 yards at 8 touchdowns at Tallahassee Lincoln high school in his senior season. The offensive line has gotten a facelift from new coach Mark McHale. The line returns five starters from a disappointing year last year.

And despite the loss of Cromartie and Dickson from last year's seventh-ranked D, they still promise to be stingy. The linebacker trio of Buster Davis, A.J. Nicholson, and leading tackler from last year Ernie Sims promises to give ACC offenses fits again this season. But the big question marks will be in the secondary and on the line. J.R. Bryant and freshman Tony Carter will try to hold down the fort at cornerback. While free safety Pat Watkins and strong safety Kyler Hall will lock down the rest of the secondary.

Monday night will be a huge test for FSU. This marks the second time these two ACC teams will square off for their opener. Miami has defeated FSU six straight times, and the 'Canes would love to do it again this year in Doke. Miami is coming off of a fairly disappointing season, with upsets against North Carolina and Virginia Tech. Miami has a few question marks at major positions this year, but, as always, they are a major powerhouse with a formidable defense and an electrifying offense.

The defense will be led by defensive tackle Orien Harris and strong safety Greg Threat, who had 139 tackles and 3 interceptions last season. The offense will be headed by 6-5 sophomore Kyle Wright who has only taken a few snaps in his career. Their starting tailback, junior Tyrone Moss is also inexperienced. In two years with the 'Canes, he's rushed for 856 yards and 11 touchdowns while being buried behind Willis McGahee and Frank Gore. The wildcard in the game will be corner back, wide receiver, and kick returner Devin Hester. He is so versatile and lightning-quick he can shift a game into Miami's favor in seconds.

When it all goes down, I think Miami's six-game win steak against the 'Noles comes to a halt Monday night. I think the FSU running attack will take over and will open up the passing game for Weatherford. The defense should be able to get to the youngster Wright and cause him to make mistakes. It won't be pretty, both defenses will create turnovers. But in the end, I believe the 'Noles will finally end the losing streak against the hated 'Canes.

Posted by Chris Cornell at 5:27 PM | Comments (1)

You Might Be a Fantasy Football Freak

Levity is difficult in times like these.

Yeah, I could write something like, "$3 for a gallon of unleaded? The last time I paid that much for a pump, I was at the Bunny Ranch."

But that would be inappropriate, wouldn't it?

Or something like, "Hurricane Katrina: Proving once and for all that something other than the Saints and Hornets can blow mightily in New Orleans."

But that would be even more inappropriate, wouldn't it?

That said, the aim of this column has always been to provide a chuckle or two for the jaded sports fan. So despite these trying times, I will attempt to make with the funny.

With apologies to MAD Magazine and Jeff Foxworthy (whom I'm convinced, after seeing the "Blue-Collar Comedy Tour," should actually be apologizing to me), I present:

You Might Be a Fantasy Football Freak If...

You've asked friends and co-workers to preface your name with "General Manager/Coach."

You've caught yourself singing, to the tune of the "Green Acres" theme song, "Da-vid/Akers/Is the kicker for me/I/don't need/Vina-tieri."

After hearing Brett Favre's emotional words on CNN about the well-being of his Mississippi relatives in the wake of Hurricane Katrina, your first reaction was, "God, I hope that doesn't affect his completion percentage in Week 1. Who's my backup, anyway?"

Your second thought was, "Well, he did throw for 399 yards against the Raiders the day after his father died..."

You've thought more about what Ricky Williams might be smoking these days than the DEA has.

You've actively pursued the idea of an "All-Johnson Team," with Brad at quarterback, Andre and Chad at wide receiver, Rudi and Larry at running back, and Eric at tight end.

You've gone through several legal pads writing and scratching out prospective team names like a pimply-faced teenager trying to figure out what to call his garage band.

You've considered, albeit for the briefest of brief moments, giving oral treats to your best friend in exchange for the rights to LaDainian Tomlinson.

You've emphatically cursed the day the "auto draft" was invented, after ending up with Charlie Batch and Bradlee Van Pelt as your quarterbacks.

You flip to The NFL Network during every commercial break just to make sure Brian Westbrook isn't injured yet.

You've e-mailed Detroit Lions GM Matt Millen, explaining that you understand Eddie Drummond is one of the best kick returners in football, but you were wondering, for the sake of your fantasy points, if the Lions would give tight end Marcus Pollard a shot now and again.

You've caught yourself ordering an extra cheese with Culpepperoni.

You've actually left the embrace of a loved one, jumped out of bed, and run to the computer to pluck Peter Warrick off the waiver wire because you saw on the Headline News crawl that he signed with the Seahawks. (And in case you're wondering — yes, this is a true story.)

You can't stop pointing and laughing at the guy who took Fred Taylor in the first round.

Finally, you've considered, albeit for the briefest of brief moments, taking an ESPN fantasy football guide out of the garbage can in a public restroom.

Greg Wyshynski is the Features Editor for SportsFan Magazine in Washington, DC, and the Senior Sports Editor for The Connection Newspapers of Northern Virginia. His book "Glow Pucks and 10-Cent Beer: The 101 Worst Ideas in Sports History" will be published in Spring 2006. His columns appear every Saturday on Sports Central. You can e-mail Greg at [email protected].

Posted by Greg Wyshynski at 4:35 PM | Comments (0)

September 2, 2005

It's Just American Football, or is it?

Did anyone see the MLB Home run Derby this year? For the first time ever, each of the eight players represented a different country. This is pretty impressive considering there are only seven Hall of Fame players that are not from the United States. This didn't happen overnight, as baseball is a globally-played sport with decades of developmental leagues to develop such a global talent and presence.

But it’s time to move over, baseball, in the land of the free and the home of the brave, because you are a distant number two. The NFL is now the premier sport in the United States and has a dominating hold on that spot.

That being said, have you ever tried to explain football to a foreigner? It is like trying to combine their version of soccer and rugby and adding about 100 rules to learn on top of it. It is not easy. It actually is almost impossible. With the world becoming more of a global market, how can the NFL compete with easier sports to explain such as baseball and basketball? How can they develop talent to one day join the league in the states?

Europe

First, let's take a look at the European developmental League, or the NFL Europe:

Here are some pretty impressive names that only made their way into the NFL because they were given an opportunity in the European Developmental league:

Offense

WR Marcus Robinson, Brian Finneran, Dane Looker, Chris Horn
WR/KR Dante Hall, Michael Lewis
TE Jed Weaver, Ryan Neufeld, Ben Steele
T Barry Sims, Matt Lepsis, Barry Stokes
G Brian Waters, Marco Rivera, Joe Andruzzi
C Ben Hamilton, Andy McCallum
QB Jake Delhomme, Kurt Warner, Kelly Holcomb
RB Aaron Stecker, Maurice Hicks, Jamal Robertson
FB Obafemi Ayanbadejo, Josh Parry

Defense

DE Marques Douglas, Carl Powell, Bobby Hamilton, Gary Stills
DT LaRoi Glover, Kelly Gregg, Keith Traylor, Brandon Noble
LB Keith Adams, Nate Wayne, Donnie Spragan, Fred Jones, Brandon Ayanbadejo, Tim Johnson
CB Kelly Herndon, Corey Ivy, Todd Franz
S Nick Ferguson, Deke Cooper, Chris Young
PK Adam Vinatieri or David Akers
P Brian Moorman or Scott Player
ST Sean Morey, Steve Gleason

This list is loaded with late-round picks, street free agents, and projects who switched positions, but with six or seven Pro Bowl selections, it still looks pretty respectable. Tell Adam Vinatieri, owner of three Super Bowl rings as the kicker for the New England Patriots, that this league isn't worthwhile. Not bad for a league that started in 1991.

Dante Hall was a star for the Scottish Claymores in 2001 before making it as the "human joy stick" with Kansas City. But it has produced results far more impressive than those leagues. Every time a Joe Andruzzi, who battled in Scotland for pennies compared to other professional athletes, signs a $9 million contract, it makes the impact of the league even more profound.

The public notices Europe when someone like Kurt Warner, or Brad Johnson, or Jake Delhomme, takes their team all the way to the Super Bowl. They pay attention for a minute, and then ignore the league's contributions to the NFL.

Ultimately the question comes down to this: did the NFL only put such a league in Europe to develop players? Or did they also have a dual intention of also trying to develop a European fan base? You would be kidding yourself to not consider the latter. 2005 is no exception. Off the field, the league once again survived by the skin of its teeth at the owners' meetings, but given salary-cap pressures, the value of filling a roster spot with a player on minimum salary who has proven he can play easily can make the investment profitable.

Five teams now are based in Germany, a growth area for football (ask the Buffalo Bills about Contantin Ritzman) where new city Hamburg has drawn as many as 20,000 fans for games in the German amateur league. This is just the beginning. Allow this league to develop, and maybe, just maybe, Europe will know of football as a sport that has touchdown passes, not kicked goals. (Okay, they will at least understand the game!)

China

Europe isn't the only area the NFL is focusing on. Take a look at what they are doing in China!

October 11-12, 2003, China's first NFL Flag Football clinic was held in Shanghai. More than 400 players and coaches from 23 schools around the city participated in this inaugural event.

The clinic covered basic passing, receiving, and running routes, as well as game strategy. All the teams played a scrimmage game at the end of the day.

China's national final tournament, the "Warriors Crown" highlighting the best teams from Shanghai, Beijing, and Guangzhou, is held in June of every year. This event is covered by China's largest domestic sports TV channel, CCTV-5, as well as Shanghai's major sports TV channel, G-Sports.

You probably don't know of any Chinese players in the NFL now, but check back with me in 20 years and you will. With over a billion people to choose from, China is the cornerstone for the future of the NFL abroad. NFL merchandisers are already drooling at what the possible market would be for them.

Canada

Now let's take a look at Canada.

The Canadian Football League operates in nine leading cities across Canada. Connecting the strength and heritage of the past with the momentum of today and the promise of the future, the CFL celebrates Canada's game with fans across the nation. The 93rd Grey Cup will be played this year, the Super Bowl for Canada.

About the National Football League's opinion of the CFL:

NFL Canada, a division of NFL International, services the marketing, licensing, retail, broadcast, media, and developmental requirements of the NFL in Canada. "We support the CFL and its unique role in Canada, and share its goal of strengthening the interest and support of football among Canadians," said NFL Commissioner Paul Tagliabue. "As partners we have worked successfully to strengthen the sport of football in Canada, and the NFL looks forward to working with the CFL to build on these programs."

Both leagues will support mutually agreed, co-branded grassroots programs in Canada. In addition to the continuation of Reebok NFL/CFL Flag Football, NFL/CFL Practice with the Pros, NFL/CFL High School Coach of the Year, the new NFL/CFL Junior Player Development and NFLCFLFutures.com, the FDMC will further promote the development of amateur tackle football.

Reebok NFL/CFL Flag Football Canada is an elementary in-school phys-ed program currently active in more than 1,300 schools and involving more than 300,000 Canadian youth. Practice with the Pros pairs NFL and CFL players for free introductory football clinics in CFL cities.

Mexico

Finally, let's take a look at Mexico.

"The broadcast of NFL games on over-the-air television is fundamental to the expansion of our fan base and business in Mexico," said Ricardo Perez Teuffer, Televisa vice president for special events and sports.

Televisa, a major network in Mexico, will carry the opening of the NFL's 86th season and 16 Monday Night Football games, as well as playoffs.

"The most important impact of this agreement is that it will help satisfy our audience that loves NFL football," said Perez Teuffer

"It is once again a pleasure to partner with America's No. 1 sport," said Guillermo Alegret, channel distribution director at TV Azteca. "This relationship will help us continue to build the sport here in Mexico and offer our advertisers increased options for their investments."

In fact, the investment is so solid, the first NFL regular-season game outside the United States is expected to take place Oct. 2, when the Arizona Cardinals face San Francisco in Mexico City.

The game will be a Sunday night contest televised by ESPN. It would be a home game for the Cardinals, who rarely sell out their stadium, but could draw 100,000 or more in Mexico City.

Mexico, isn't the only country getting the NFL, either. More than 60 broadcasters from 223 countries and territories in virtually every corner of the globe will receive NFL programming in excess of 70,000 hours worth stretching across 24 time zones and broadcast in more than 30 languages.

Since 2003, the NFL is on free TV in China, the world's most populous country. Thanks to an agreement with CCTV, China's only national terrestrial broadcaster, the NFL is made available in more than 300 million households with a potential audience of over one billion.

That is penetration of more than 90 percent of households throughout mainland China.

Want to know exactly how the NFL envisions itself in the future? Start by asking the top man.

Commissioner Paul Tagliabue: "I think if you look at other sports, the way they've developed globally, you can see regional leagues develop. You can see NFL Europe become more of a regional league within Europe. You can see regional leagues I think in Latin America, starting with Mexico and running south into Central and South America. Of course, we already have the Canadian Football League. So I don't think you have to speculate to see that this will grow incrementally, slowly in some cases, more rapidly in others. It's something that should be pursued."

Fast-forward to year 2085 and the names on your grandchildren's fantasy football roster will be very different!

Posted by Kevin Ferra at 2:31 PM | Comments (0)

2005 NFL Preview: San Diego Chargers

Sponsored by CyberSportsbook.com

Last Year

After an offseason of trying to find a reliable quarterback, one surfaced in-house. Drew Brees may have been slow to mature, but when he finally did in his fourth season, the San Diego Chargers got that bolt of energy they were looking for. Only 3-3 after six weeks, Charger-backers were skeptical, but Brees was sharp and as he gained confidence, so did the team. They finished on a 9-1 run and were just wide right of the second round of the playoffs. Can they top it this year?

What We Learned From Last Year

The 12-win total the Chargers achieved last year was their highest total in 25 years and generally that doesn't happen unless a few things go right for you.

It had been a few years now that the Chargers were gathering prime young prospects so it was only be a matter of time before some of them started to develop.

But the maturation came from unexpected areas.

The team had virtually given up on quarterback Drew Brees, who had struggled in his three NFL seasons, and drafted Phillip Rivers as a future replacement. But while Rivers missed most of training camp with a lengthy holdout, Brees began to blossom.

He wasn't the only one to flourish as second year tight-end Antonio Gates burst onto the scene and developed a strong rapport with Brees. He was a physical specimen that everyone was aware and with a lack of dependable receivers, he got a chance to thrive.

His emergence gave Brees a reliable weapon in the passing game, something he had sorely missed.

Then you factor in LaDainian Tomlinson, a perfect match for Marty Schottenheimer's offense, as well as Keenan McCardell later on in the season, and all of the sudden the Chargers were a three-dimensional monster on offense.

Tomlinson has been the Chargers' most valuable player virtually every year, but Brees and Gates made a strong case to at least share that title last year.

What was so impressive about Brees was his accuracy. He only threw seven interceptions all year and his efficient quarterback play factored greatly in the Chargers success.

In 2003, they entailed the 28th-worst turnover ratio having 11 more giveaways than takeaways. In 2004, they had the third-best turnover ratio at +15.

They stopped shooting themselves in the foot and became a smart offensive team.

More importantly, instead of being punished by opponents for making mistakes, they were the ones capitalizing on their opponent's miscues.

The Chargers may have given up endless yards via the pass, but they still amassed the third-highest total of interceptions. The biggest misconception was that their secondary could be abused at will because of a lack of talent. The real case was that Quentin Jammer, Drayton Florence, and Sammy Davis all progressed as young defensive backs, but the with a minimal amount of quarterback pressure from the front lines, this grouping simply wasn't good enough to maintain for prolonged periods of time.

Sacks were at premium, but not many were attained. There were only 29 sacks in total and only nine from the defensive line.

The front seven had no problems against the run, holding opponents to a stingy 81.7 rushing yards per game (third in NFL). The run defense was led by nose tackle Jamal Williams, who had a career year last year.

Right behind him, linebacker Steve Foley and safety Terrence Kiel also had a banner years, while Donnie Edwards was easily the team's defensive MVP with 150 tackles.

But coming off such a high with so many players posting career years, the Chargers will be hard-pressed to duplicate last season's success.

This Year

A year ago, they were desperate to uncover a gem at quarterback, now they have two as the Chargers go from outhouse to penthouse in the quarterbacking department.

Brees is back and he is as confident as ever, but that doesn't mean he will replicate his unbelievable season from a year ago.

Most of the cast returns, including Pro Bowl tight end Antonio Gates, wide receiver Keenan McCardell, and all-world running back LaDainian Tomlinson, but there is still a missing punch at wide receiver.

Eric Parker is the starter opposite of McCardell, but he can be blanketed out of the passing game. McCardell, at the age of 35, is not the player he used to be. With Parker, Reche Caldwell, and Kassim Osgood, the Chargers have a bunch of in tweeners. Parker is a big-play threat, but he is undersized, Caldwell, who is bouncing back from an ACL injury, does not have great speed, but can find the soft spot in a zone, and Osgood needs to work on his route-running. Tomlinson is a great receiver out of the backfield, but somebody needs to emerge if this team wants to make a serious run.

The Chargers relied too heavily on Gates during third-down plays and teams will force them to look elsewhere this year.

The offensive line is decent, but was coached up by Hudson Houck last year, one of the better O-line coaches in the NFL. Center Nick Hardwick, tackle Shane Olivea, and guard Toniu Fonoti are definitely on the rise, but Roman Oben and Mike Goff have some work to do. Neither is a major concern, but Goff is weak in pass protection and Oben is 32-years-old.

Keep an eye on second-year kicker Nate Kaeding, who had a stellar rookie season, but has been up and down in the preseason (made only three of first six field goals).

For a defense desperate for quarterback pressure, management made the correct decision to spend its top two draft selections on lineman.

Shawne Merriman, the team's top pick, is making the transition from defensive end to linebacker and has great speed all over the field. He will push outside linebacker Ben Leber for time and should take over his role once he's fully comfortable with the switch. Luis Castillo, the Chargers' second first-round selection, is excellent against the run and adds an insurance plan in case Jamal Williams is injured.

Neither starting defensive ends Jacques Cesaire or Igor Olshansky are prolific pass-rushers, so once again most of the sacks will be expected to come from the linebackers.

Merriman's impact probably won't be noticed until the second half of the season since he is a rookie, so essentially the pass-rushing dilemma still exists. Foley is still the prime option, but opponents will pay more attention to him this season.

In the middle, Donnie Edwards and Randall Godfrey are not known as sack artists, but very few tackles slip out of their grasp. Edwards is an impact player and Godfrey is painfully physical.

The secondary is still young and growing, but is laced with a slew of former first-round picks. Jammer, Davis, and Jamar Fletcher are all former first-rounders, while Florence is a high second-round selection.

Jammer and Florence will start and although neither have turned into shutdown cornerbacks, both are above-average and still rising. Jammer is very physical, but needs to improve in coverage. Florence has better speed, but doesn't make great plays on the ball. With Davis and Fletcher also around, this battle for playing time should continue to push all four.

At safety, Bhawoh Jue was brought in to battle with Jerry Wilson for the starting free position. Jue has the better set of skills, while Wilson has superior instincts. Terrence Kiel will man the strong position but is essentially an extra linebacker: strong in run support and weak in the passing game.

Overall, this team looks strikingly similar to last year's version, but it is hard to envision this year's squad topping what they accomplished. This is still a very good team, but with Oakland and Kansas City expected to be much improved, the Chargers may only get to eight or nine wins.

Over/Under: 8

Last year, the Chargers only beat two teams who finished with a winning record and that is not a good sign considering they face eight teams who finished with records above .500 this year and that's not accounting for a couple of their improved division mates. They play: DAL, NYG, @NE, PIT, @PHI, @NYJ, BUF, @WAS, MIA, and @IND.

Fantasy Sleeper

It is rarely advisable to draft a wide receiver over the age of 34, but Keenan McCardell is an exception. In only six starts last year, McCardell was the second-leading receiver on the team and even though Antonio Gates is around, McCardell will be the team's top option at wide receiver. Considering his average draft position is 93rd, he's worth picking up.

Stay tuned as Dave Golokhov brings you previews for all 32 NFL teams! Sponsored by CyberSportsbook.com, a great casino for horse racing and sportsbook action.

Posted by Dave Golokhov at 2:25 PM | Comments (0)

Sports Q&A: Leinart! Dancing! A+!

Fred from Omaha, Nebraska writes, "USC quarterback Matt Leinart is taking only one class this semester, ballroom dancing. Should college athletes be able to take such an extremely light course load?"

No matter how you look at it, Leinart is still matriculating. He's a fifth-year senior, and has done the requisite course load to allow himself to take a single class in the fall semester. Besides, Leinart needs the class to complete his degree in sociology. And isn't that what college is all about: completing your degree? Well, maybe for most of the humanoids digging themselves a giant hole of debt for a fancy piece of paper with some Latin scribble on it. For the All-American QB BMOC, it's all about winning football games and the national championship.

I know, you're asking yourself, "Gosh, with Leinart devoting a minimum of 60 hours a week to football and football related endeavors, how can he find the time to keep up with the grueling ballroom dancing curriculum?" I'll tell you: tutors, and hot ones at that. I'm sure that every time Leinart goes to ballroom study hall on Tuesday nights, he will be schooled by a gorgeous dance major just itching to trip the light fantastic with the soon-to-be rich Leinart. Studying will be a breeze. Heck, he's probably taking it pass-fail anyway. It's only appropriate that the number one pick in next year's NFL draft will grade a "pass" when the semester ends sometime in mid-December.

Kudos to Leinart's academic advisor for recognizing that Leinart needed one final elective to qualify for his degree. And the advisor didn't even encourage Leinart to take it easy and enroll in the mother of all electives, Leisure Studies 101. That advisor did his/her job and "advised" Leinart to take ballroom dancing.

Not only was the advisor looking out for Leinart's academic well-being, he/she also had his football interests in mind. After all, what is quarterbacking? Mostly footwork. Anybody can thread the needle with a 60-yard spiral, but who can master the three-, five-, seven-, nine-, 11, thirteen, and 15-step drops, as well as the leg kick to signal a reveiver to go in motion? Probably no one, except for the college quarterback with the crucial two credit hours of ballroom dancing. That would be Heismann Trophy candidate Matt Leinart. And speaking of the Heismann, Leinart, with a semester of ballroom dancing under his belt, will find striking that Heisman pose much easier.

Even if Leinart is the next Ryan Leaf and is the biggest quarterback failure ever, then he can still fall back on his newly-acquired dancing talent. If you're a failed athlete and/or a Hollywood reject, then you may have a future in the reality television market, particularly in network swill like "Dancing With the Stars" or other crappy knockoffs that are soon to emerge. Check Leaf's academic transcript, and I guarantee you won't find any ballroom dancing credit hours. In fact, you may not find any credit hours period on Leaf's docket.

Anyway, Leinart is well within reason to take ballroom dancing. A lot of college students take six years to graduate, and they're not even athletes. Leinart needs one class to graduate — if USC offered credit to roam the quad and chat up freshmen hotties, he should be able to take that, should he so chose. After he's busted his tail for the last four years, he should have the right to cruise to his degree.

Tom from Iron Mountain, Michigan asks, "What starting NFL quarterback is likely to be the first benched for bad play?"

Isn't the answer to this question every year "Joey Harrington?" This is Harrington's year to come out of his shell (that's assuming a "shell" is shielding him from greatness; maybe he just sucks) and prove to everyone that the Lions made a wise choice by drafting him number three in 2002. It seems that everyone is in agreement that if Harrington can't impress with offensive talent like Kevin Jones at running back, Roy Williams, Charles Rogers, and Mike Williams as wide receivers, and Marcus Pollard at tight end, then his days as a starter are done.

With Jeff Garcia's broken leg suffered September 2nd, Coach Mariucci may be less reluctant to pull Harrington in favor of back-up Dan Orlovsky. Harrington may have no choice but to step up. But it won't be easy. Week 1 at home against Green Bay would seem to be a good matchup for Harrington. The Packers were in the bottom 10 in passing defense last year. However, they apparently had Harrington's number, as he only threw for 148 yards, one touchdown, and one interception, in two games. That might keep your job if you're QB'ing your eighth-grade team that passes five times a game, but not in the NFL. If he can't impress against Green Bay, he may have even more trouble in the upcoming weeks.

After a week two visit to Chicago, Detroit has a bye, then travels to Tampa Bay, then hosts the Ravens and Panthers in consecutive weeks. Ouch! A gauntlet of very good defensive teams, all intent on making piano playing Harrington's full-time hobby. Unless Harrington starts 2005 as the league's most improved player, he could be sitting early, and likely be mentioned in the same breath as other Lion QB failures (Chuck Long, Scott Mitchell, etc.).

Another quarterback with something to prove is Arizona's Kurt Warner. Unlike Harrington, Warner has proven himself before (Super Bowl and NFL MVP), but has come nowhere near regaining that form. His last attempt to recapture glory ended with being benched in favor of rookie Eli Manning last year in New York. This year, Warner takes over for the Cardinals, and, like Harrington, is surrounded by young talent, with receivers Anquan Boldin, Larry Fitzgerald, and Bryant Johnson, as well as rookie running back J. J. Arrington. Coach Dennis Green is probably not expecting Warner to put up huge numbers, but is likely expecting him to minimize mistakes and protect the ball.

The Cardinals, when they won last year, often won with defense, and the last thing a good defense needs is an error-prone quarterback. If Warner breaks his thumb, fumbles, or throws interceptions uncontrollably, or has his play affected when his goofy wife Brenda flips her wig, then Green will surely pull the plug on the latest Warner experiment and insert backup Josh McCown. I'm sure Warner will find another job — if not as a quarterback, then an experienced grocery bagger, where he will have plenty of time to ponder the word "fluke."

Other quarterbacks who could feel the yank are Gus Frerotte in Miami, and whomever starts in Chicago.

Sports Q&A will take a brief hiatus due to the start of the NFL season. Don't miss my NFL weekly predictions beginning Tuesday, September 6th. Sports Q&A will return with a vengeance on Friday, December 2nd.

Posted by Jeffrey Boswell at 2:08 PM | Comments (2)

September 1, 2005

Slant Pattern's Big 10 Preview

Eagle-eyed readers of Slant Pattern will have noticed that I have not, as in previous years, posted a conference-by-conference college football preview this year.

I figure, let someone else be wrong about everything. Besides, the college football prognosticating duties around here have been ably assumed by Avery Smith, although next year I hope he goes ahead and gives a preview of every team in the conference he's writing up.

The Big 10 is my cup of tea, anyway ... I was just winging my way through the other conferences. Here's how I see the Big 10 shaping up:

1) Ohio State (8-0; 11-0)

I am an OSU alum, but this is the first time I am picking the Buckeyes to win the Big 10 — I'm not being a homer, I promise. Experience on both lines, consensus best linebacking corps in the country, top-10 consensus secondary, big weapons at receiver, an underrated tailback in Antonio Pittman (he picked up 5.3 yards per carry last year, so I'm not sure why people contend the Buckeyes are lacking in that area), and finished huge last year, blowing out Michigan and Oklahoma State, putting up tons of points. What more do you want?

2) Iowa (7-1; 10-1)

If Kirk Ferentz stays in Iowa City for a long time, and all indications are that he will, get used to the big two in the conference becoming the big three. The Hawkeyes should be able to post their fourth consecutive 10-win season, and this will be the first one in that span where they return their quarterback, another big tribute to Ferentz. If Ohio State doesn't have the best linebackers in the country, then Iowa does.

3) Michigan (6-2; 9-2)

The possibility of a three-way tie atop the Big 10 is quite possible, because Ohio State, Michigan, and Iowa all have one home game and one road game against the other two, and I haven't even gotten to Purdue yet. If they stay in through their senior seasons, Chad Henne and Mike Hart might be even more decorated and honored and Matt Leinart and Reggie Bush. Their secondary, porous last season, probably will not improve enough to get them the Big 10 crown.

4) Purdue (6-2; 8-3)

Purdue is a popular pick to take the Big 10 this year. Ask those pickers why, and the first words out of their mouth will always be, "their schedule." Yes, this is a damn easy schedule; no Ohio State or Michigan, and Iowa at home. Yes, Purdue is talented and experienced (18 starters back, including all 11 defensive starters). But you just can't ride an easy schedule all the way to the promised land. Well, you can, but it's never the teams or the easy schedules the pundits think it will be. Purdue's experience and schedule will only serve to bump them a bit above the rest of the pack.

5) Penn State (4-4; 7-4)

If any team has the ability to crack the four horsemen, it's Penn State. You can't score on them. They probably won't score on you, either, although Nittany faithful are very excited about quarterback Michael Robinson and all-star recruit Derrick Williams. It feels weird and sacrilegious to say, but I don't trust Joe Paterno to be able to pull off a big season anymore.

6) Wisconsin (4-4; 7-5)

I may be underestimating the mojo that will be created by the fact that this is Barry Alvarez's final year on the sideline, but the top four of the Big 10 will gobble up so many wins that the middling teams of the Big 10 might be slightly worse for wear. Alvarez is the best coach in the conference. Wisconsin was Indiana-esque when he took over. But this edition of the Badgers put up only 328 yards of offense per game last year and will be doing a lot of auditioning on defense.

7) Minnesota (3-5; 6-5)

It's getting to the point that you can write the same preview for Minnesota every single year: ferocious, multi-headed running attack, no other great units, cupcake schedule, minor bowl. Rinse and repeat. It's not changing this year.

8) Michigan State (3-5; 5-6)

In order to improve on last year's bowl-free disappointment, the Spartans might be well advised to throw, throw, throw in the three yards-and-a-cloud-of-dust Big 10. Drew Stanton deserves mention as possibly the league's best quarterback, and he has three excellent targets: Matt Trannon, Kyle Brown, and Jerramy Scott. That still might not be enough if Michigan State continues to be spastic (losses to Rutgers, Hawaii, and Louisiana Tech in the last two years).

9) Northwestern (2-6; 3-8)

Every year, I stick up for Northwestern. They've established themselves as a .500 team in the Big 10 over the last several years, including big wins over both Ohio State and Michigan, but the previews read the same every year: this is the year the Wildcats fall back to the basement. They have enough offensive firepower to prevent it, but I suspect the naysayers are finally right this year. The schedule (Northern Illinois, Arizona State, all of the teams I've ranked in the top five of the conference in this preview) just won't grant them any traction.

10) Illinois (1-7; 2-9)

What an embarrassing football program for the flagship school of one of the most populous states in the country. It will be interesting to see if Ron Zook can get Illinois back to the top — I honestly don't have a guess — but this year will be more of the same in Champaign. Best thing going for them: running back tandem of E.B. Halsey and Pierre Thomas.

11) Indiana (0-8, 2-9)

Due to the advent of ESPNU and CSTV (College Sports Television), it's almost easy to get televised nationally if you're a major conference program, especially if you schedule your game at an odd time, like a Friday at 8 PM. And thus, Indiana's opener against Central Michigan will be available on ESPNU for Hoosier fans from sea to shining sea. And I encourage them all to fire up the popcorn, crack open a Dos Equis, and watch this game. Make it your bowl game. 'Cause it's the only televised game Indiana is going to win this year.

Posted by Kevin Beane at 8:21 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

NASCAR Top 10 Power Rankings: Week 24

Note: the quotes in this article are fictional.

1. Tony Stewart — Like a football team that's clinched a playoff spot, Stewart has been able to relax and enjoy the top spot in the rankings. While others struggle just to make the Chase (Jeff Gordon, Matt Kenseth) and still others search for their lost championship form (Jimmie Johnson, Greg Biffle), Stewart maintained his momentum with his tenth straight top 10.

"Ho hum," says Stewart. "Business as usual. I thought it was pretty cool that my teammate, Bobby Labonte, had the 'LeBron James' paint scheme on his car. I think it would only be appropriate, since most of Home Depot's products are made in China, that the No. 20 Chevy sport the 'Yao Ming' paint scheme sometime."

Hey, if Carrot Top can appear on a car, anything is possible.

Before his streak of top 10s, Stewart "only" finished 17th at Fontana. He will look to improve on that and keep his streak alive. Knowing his sizable points lead will evaporate in a few weeks, per Chase rules, Stewart wants to stay hot and leave no doubt that he is the favorite for the title.

2. Greg Biffle — Biffle's third-place at Bristol was his best finish since winning at Michigan in June, and was his second straight top-10 after three races outside the top-10. He locked up a spot in the Chase and officially has rebounded from his 38th-place finish at Watkins Glen three races ago.

"It was time to reestablish my dominance," says Biffle, "in NASCAR, as well as in Roush Racing. The way things are going, I might be the only guy left in Roush come next season. I'm the main man in Roush. Ask anybody, except Kurt Busch, Mark Martin, Carl Edwards, and Matt Kenseth."

Biffle leads the Roush charge, for sure, and hopes to become the third-straight Roush Cup champion. With Martin and Busch locks for the Chase, and Edwards close to clinching, and Kenseth suddenly back in the picture, Biffle could lead five Roush cars into the Chase. Biffle won in California back in April and would love to complete his return to form with a second win there.

3. Jimmie Johnson — The good news: Johnson clinched a spot in the Chase. The bad news: he did it with a 36th-place finish, the result of an unidentified engine problem that ended his day after 410 laps.

"We'll just have to go back to the shop and perform the automotive equivalent of an autopsy on the car," says Johnson. "Only then will we be able to determine the C.O.D. That's 'cause of death' to those of you who don't know."

Been watching a little too much C.S.I., Jimmie?

Regardless, Johnson can look to California to bounce back from one of his worst finishes of the year. In five races there, he's won once and finished second twice.

4. Rusty Wallace — Wallace scored his sixth top-five of the year, and 22nd top-five at Bristol, with a fifth-place finish that clinched his ticket to the Chase. Wallace led nine laps, but suffered from a decision not to pit with Matt Kenseth late in the race. Wallace stayed out while Kenseth took four tires. Kenseth easily passed Wallace soon after the restart and les the rest of the way.

"A victory would have been nice," says Wallace, "but my disappointment was tempered by having a section of the Bristol grandstands named after me in a pre-race ceremony."

On a related note, Rusty's brothers, Kenny and Mike, were honored by having individual seats named after them in a much smaller ceremony last Thursday.

Rusty finished 10th in the season's first race at Fontana after qualifying sixth. Wallace is solidly in fourth, and will probably be there when the Chase starts on September 18th.

5. Mark Martin — Martin's 16th-place finish at Bristol maintained his position of fifth in the points, but a mishap in the pits spoiled what could have been a sure top ten finish.

"Yeah, the jack dropped early on our stop on lap 417," says Martin. "So we had to come back in a have the lug nuts tightened on the left-rear tire, and I had to jerk a knot in the jack man's right front head."

Martin will likely clinch his spot in the Chase in the California 500, with a collapse of epic proportions in the next two races the only possible way to keep him out. Earlier this year in Fontana, Martin finished seventh, one of four Roush cars in the top ten.

6. Kurt Busch — Busch added to his solid record at Bristol with a 10th-place finish, and he has all but officially clinched a reservation in the Chase. He maintained his seventh-place position in the points, and is 183 points ahead of 10th-place Jeff Gordon.

"It was a good day for us in the Sharpie 500," adds Busch. "Anytime one af your major sponsors is also a sponsor of the race itself, you feel the need to reward them. I think we did that. It als gave us a chance to introduce the new 'Sharpie Mini,' which is half the size of the regular Sharpie."

Wow, Christmas in August! All my prayers have been answered! A new Sharpie, half the size of the original. This will certainly help in taming the Middle East crises.

Like teammate Martin, Busch will probably officially clinch his spot in the Chase with a decent result in California. That shouldn't be a problem — he finished third there earlier this year and won in 2003.

7. Jeremy Mayfield — If Mayfield were rapper LL Cool J, he would be singing "Goin' Back To Cali." Since he's probably the farthest thing from LL Cool J, man, I don't think so. But he will be going back to California, looking to rebound from an 18th at Bristol, and looking to improve on his 28th last time in Fontana.

"We should have pitted with the leaders late there at Bristol," says Mayfield. "But we didn't, and we paid for it. But that's NASCAR — you win some, or none, and you lose most."

Back in February, Mayfield qualified third at Fontana, but could only manage a 28th-place finish. Now sixth in the points, Mayfield is in the Chase, but, depending on his performance in the next two races, his position could fluctuate from fifth to seventh.

8. Carl Edwards — Edwards battled a tight-handling car, and survived a skirmish with Kyle Petty and the wall, to finish a respectable 24th, which surprisingly moved him up one position in the points to eighth.

"Kyle just crowded me into the wall there," says Edwards. "But no hard feelings. I'll just chalk it up to hard racing. Anyway, I talked with Kyle after the race. Everything's settled, we're on good terms, and I got his dad's autograph."

Edwards is in good Chase position, but one false move could send everything he's worked for so far this season crashing. That's likely not to happen in California, where Roush cars have been fast traditionally. Edwards finished fifth there in March's race.

9. Ryan Newman — On lap 301 of Saturday night's race, Newman passed Dale Jarrett, and, in doing so, unintentionally sent the No. 88 spinning across the track. Seventeen laps later, an irate Jarrett retaliated, clearly intentionally, bumping Newman's No. 12 Alltel Dodge into the outside wall. Newman finished 39th, collecting only 46 points towards his Chase effort.

"It's clear that Jarrett's actions were intentional," explains Newman. "Just look on my rear bumper — it's obvious that is UPS brown paint. Just as in the criminal world, Jarrett's intent makes him fully culpable for his actions. Lucky for him, I'm still battling for a spot in the Chase. Otherwise, he could expect a damaged car and/or a damaged face."

Newman sits ninth in the points, 20 points up on tenth place Jeff Gordon, and 34 clear of Elliott Sadler in 13th. If revenge is in his nature, he will have to suppress it at least until he clinches a Chase spot.

10. (tie) Jeff Gordon/Matt Kenseth/Jamie McMurray/Elliott Sadler — All four of these drivers are poised to make the Chase, but only one will likely make it. If Ryan Newman falters, two could be in. Kenseth was almost out of the picture until his Bristol win shot him up four spots in the points. He's only 11 behind 10th-place Gordon, who's strong weekend at Bristol moved him up two spots. Lurking are McMurray, a point behind Kenseth, and Sadler, 23 behind. McMurray finished two laps down at Bristol, and lost two spots in the points. Sadler hasn't scored a top-10 finish since Sonoma, nine races ago. He'll probably need two top-10s to insure a berth in the Chase.

Posted by Jeffrey Boswell at 4:27 PM | Comments (0)