Note: the quotes in this article are fictional.
1. Tony Stewart — Shocking: Stewart did not win the race. More shocking: Stewart did not even lead a lap. Not shocking: Stewart officially clinched a spot, likely the top spot, in the Chase for the Cup, set to begin September 18.
"And not a moment too soon," says Stewart. "That means I can go to Bristol and just chill. Otherwise, Evil Tony would take over and bump somebody into a wall and create a feud. And I would be angry. You wouldn't like me when I'm angry."
We certainly wouldn't, Tony. Angry Tony is much scarier than the Tony who's won five of the last eight races. So, you go to Bristol and take a leisurely 500-lap drive around the track, sit back, and watch the guys at 8-15 in the points battle it out.
Stewart finished third at Bristol in April, his best finish there since winning in 2001. Look for a relaxed top-10 finish from the No. 20 Home Depot car.
2. Jimmie Johnson — Johnson's day in Michigan was a model of consistency: he started 10th and finished 10th, giving him his series-leading (along with Stewart) 13th top-10 of the year. In doing so, Johnson clinched a spot in the Chase with three races remaining.
"Does that mean I can sit out the remaining three races before the Chase and still cinch?" asks Johnson. "I'm sick of not winning races."
Theoretically, J.J., you could do that, but why would you? Right now, you're working on a mini-streak of momentum. Sure, it's only two straight top-10s, and it pales in comparison to what Stewart has done lately, but it's a start. Remember last year? You were only eight points from a championship. You need to get hot. What better time to do that than the last three races before the Chase?
In his seven career starts at Bristol, Johnson has finished out of the top 10 only twice. Saturday night short track racing appeals to him, and with points not on his mind, expect Johnson to battle hard for a much-needed win.
3. Greg Biffle — After a miserable qualifying effort of 31st, Biffle rebounded and finished sixth, one of four Roush Racing cars in the top 10. It was Biffle's first top-10 since New Hampshire, and maintained his points position of third, 37 up on fourth-place Rusty Wallace, who had been creeping closer and closer to Biffle's spot in the last few races.
"I thought I smelled a Wallace," adds Biffle. "It's an uncomfortable feeling to have someone lurking that close to you with the intention of passing you for some sort of position. I'm just glad I was able to put a little distance between Rusty and myself. And my goal at Bristol is to creep a little closer to Johnson and Stewart in the points. I seem to be the forgotten man in this championship race. I just want everyone to know, I'm still here."
Hey, Biff, we never would have forgotten about you, but you just stopped winning races there for a while.
In his last four starts at Bristol, Biffle has finished no lower than 12th. To gain ground on Johnson and Stewart, Biffle may have to pull a win out of the hat. He's no magician, so he may have to settle for a top-five, at best.
4. Rusty Wallace — Wallace improved dramatically from his starting point on the grid of 38th, finishing 13th to maintain his stronghold on fourth in the points, 289 behind Stewart. However, the day could have been even better, but mileage and overheating situations proved costly.
"Man, we had a top-five or top-six car here today, but it all got spoiled by hot dog wrappers and the fuel mileage deal there at the end," said Wallace. (Note: actual quote by Wallace.)
This has to be the first time in history that hot dog wrappers have been blamed for a car's problems. But Wallace does have a point: hot dog wrappers and general debris on the track were the bane of many racer's unfortunate finishes. And there's only one thing NASCAR can do about it: put NASCAR fans on a no-hot dog diet. And outlaw beer at races, too. Heck, if they can ban smoking from bars, of all places, then nothing is safe. So, NASCAR fans, this Saturday at Bristol, to show your support, eat hot dogs and drink beer like your life depended on it. Maybe it does.
Anyhow, back to Rusty. Wallace is the man at Bristol. He has nine wins there, including his first-ever Cup win back in 1986. He was well on his way to victory there earlier this year in April, running second when a flat tire spoiled the effort. Wallace will be shooting for nothing less than a win Saturday.
5. Jeremy Mayfield — Mayfield stole the win at Michigan by outsmarting the field with fuel mileage strategy — he traveled the last 52 laps without a stop and won easily.
"Can you blame me?" asks Mayfield. "Have you seen gas prices lately? You regular consumers complain because it's $2.50 a gallon. That's nothing. We run this high test stuff. It runs us about $9.00 per gallon. Of course, I don't pay for it."
Well, with your win at Michigan, maybe you can buy your own gas now, Jeremy. You certainly can relax a bit as far as your Chase aspirations go. That victory most likely sealed the deal for you. You're in, baby! You gained ground on Tony Stewart, but, more importantly, you gained ground on the 10th-place driver in the points. Previously, you were 91 points up on 10th. Now, you're 167 up. Only three consecutive disasters in the next three races would keep you out of the Chase. That's not likely. What's likely is a nice, smooth top-20 finish from the No. 19 Evernham car.
6. Mark Martin — In a car with top-five quality, and after leading 10 laps, Martin was bitten by a late decision to stay out on old tires. That, compounded with coming up on the short end of the fuel mileage game, left the No. 6 Viagra car with a 17th, the only Roush car out of the top 10.
"Man, if you only knew how old that makes me feel," says Martin. "Finishing last among all the Roush cars, that really hurts. The only thing that gives me comfort is knowing I'll be done racing at the end of this year. Wait a minute. No, I won't. Jack wants me to come back. Noooo!"
That's right, Mark. All you have to do is just say no. But I bet you've never told Jack Roush "no," have you?
Anyway, Martin hopes to reverse his fortunes as of late at Bristol. In April, Martin finished 31st in Bristol after starting 34th. It will take his best effort to grab his first top 10 in there since 2000.
7. Kurt Busch — In a race led by 13 different drivers, Busch led the most, 62, but was unable to cash that in for the victory. After a green flag pit on lap 181, Busch returned to the fold in 31st, and advanced 24 places in the final laps while posting some of the race's fastest laps. Busch lost a spot in the standings to race winner Jeremy Mayfield, and now stands seventh, 420 behind Stewart.
"I feel that despite finishing seventh, we had the best car out there," says Busch. "With fuel mileage being such an issue, it's just a crapshoot to figure out when and when not to pit. So, all I can say to that is, ‘Crap! Shoot!'"
Wait, let me check with NASCAR to see if those are acceptable words to use by a driver. Yes, they are acceptable. You won't be fined, so you can keep all those points you earned in the race. In seventh and only 20 points from the 400-point window, you're in great shape.
Busch is a clear favorite in Bristol. He's got four wins there, including a sweep in 2003. And he's anxious to rebound from his 35th there in April and build some momentum for the upcoming Chase. And Kurt, don't forget to give your regards to Jimmy Spencer.
8. Carl Edwards — Edwards' fourth-place in Michigan was his seventh top five of the year, and validated his fifth-place at the same track back in June. All of this with the sponsorship of AAA auto club on his hood.
"I guess you could say I was thumbing my nose at bad luck," says Edwards. "Like I was just asking for my car to breakdown. Of course, had my car broken down, I would have had the advantage of AAA coming to anywhere on the track and giving me a free tow. Membership has its advantages."
Yes, it does, Carl, as does membership in the Chase. You took a big step in that direction with your result in Michigan. But Bristol is a tough cookie to crack, and a low finish there (in two races, he has a 26th and a 33rd) could ruin your year. So, do one thing: keep your car on the track and off the wall and stay on that lead lap. You'll be good to go.
9. Ryan Newman — Like most of his competitors, Newman fell victim to the fuel mileage war, as a sure top-10 car was hampered by a final pit stop that dropped the No. 12 to 26th-place, a lap down. However, Newman scrambled to 12th-place in the race's final 15 laps, including seven spots gained in the final two. Newman maintained eighth position in the points with three races to the Chase, but by no means is his spot guaranteed just yet.
"No rest for the weary," exclaims Newman. "I'm near the bubble where one mistake can kill my chances. I've got to keep tabs on who's behind me more than who's in front of me."
Here's a quick solution, Ryan. Just take out Carl Edwards, Jamie McMurray, Dale Jarrett, and Jeff Gordon with one huge crash. That will get you in the Chase for sure.
Newman struggled at Bristol this spring, finishing 30th. But, he did post two top-10s in 2004, including a pole. Thirtieth won't cut it, but top-10 will.
10. (tie) Jamie McMurray/Jeff Gordon — McMurray and crew chose to play it safe last Sunday, not gambling on fuel to ensure that they remained in the top 10 in points. The result was a 20th-place finish, which dropped McMurray from ninth to 10th in the points. A stop for fuel and tires on lap 191 got the No. 42 to the end, put pit cycles didn't play out as they hoped, and McMurray wasn't able to crack the top-15.
"It's a classic case of risk-reward," explains McMurray. "The reward of going for a top-10 finish and the subsequent points did not outweigh the risk of running out of gas and falling out of the top 10 in points. Of course, now that I'm on the Chase bubble, I don't have the luxury of playing it safe."
Gordon battled handling complications all day, but wrestled the No. 24 Dupont Chevy to a 15th-place finish, nevertheless. Gordon moved up one to 12th in the points, trailing 11th-place Dale Jarrett by seven, and McMurray by 83.
"Well, it looks like my Chase hopes will have to go through Dale and Jamie," says Gordon. "Which is fine by me. I have no problem passing two guys whose first names could be those of a girl, as well."
As is the case in Bristol, where so many cars are fighting for position on the track, McMurray and Gordon are fighting for position in the points. It just happens to be the same position, 10th, and others are after it to, including Jarrett, Elliott Sadler, Kevin Harvick, and the hard-charging Matt Kenseth.
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