Ricardo from Cordova, California writes, "I have the No. 5 pick in my fantasy draft. Assuming both are available, should I take Randy Moss or Terrell Owens?"
Ricardo, that's a tough decision to make, and the best way to handle a tough decision is to have someone else make it for you. So, see if you can sucker some sucker into a trade (preferably the person with the No. 6 pick) in which you move down to No. 6 and let the sucker take the No. 5 pick. Assuming some sucker falls for this, you would, of course, get an extra pick (fourth or fifth round, possibly) in exchange for moving down one spot in the first round. At No. 5, they would be left with the choice between Owens and Moss, and you take what's left at No. 6. If they choose to go with another player at No. 5 (Edgerrin James? Daunte Culpepper?), then you're still left with the Owens/Moss dilemma. So trade down again.
If you have to choose between Owens and Moss, you really can't go wrong either way. Take Owens, and you get a proven Donovan McNabb-to-Owens connection that produced 14 touchdowns in 14 games last year. Owens and McNabb don't seem to be so chummy this year as they were last year, but that doesn't matter.
Owens is a threat deep, and, with the status of the Eagles' running game somewhat in the air (Brian Westbrook has yet to report to camp; Correll Buckhalter returning from injury), Owens is a popular option at any point in the red zone, as well. Owens is clearly McNabb's favorite target, and number two wideout Todd Pinkston won't be taking many of Owens' catches. Especially not now, since Pinkston is out for the year with a ruptured right Achilles'tendon.
Forget about the questions about the "chemistry" between Moss and Raiders' quarterback Kerry Collins. I'm sure when Collins first heard about the trade that brought Moss to Oakland, he probably felt instant chemistry, the kind you feel when you know you'll throw two or three 75-yard touchdown passes this season. Moss may not score as many touchdowns as Owens, but he will score longer touchdowns. If your league awards points for length of scores, Moss would probably be your option.
The only fantasy knock against Moss is the quantity of receivers that are sure to dip into his fantasy production. Besides Moss, Collins will also have the options of Jerry Porter, Ronald Curry, and Doug Gabriel. Some of the passes and TDs will surely go their way.
If you want to get very technical, the Eagles have the third easiest schedule, while the Raiders have the ninth toughest. The Raiders play two division games apiece against the Chiefs and Chargers, who had the two worst pass defenses last year, statistically. The Eagles play the Chiefs and Chargers, as well as the Raiders, ranked 30th in pass defense last year. The Eagles face division games versus the Redskins and Giants, who had the seventh and eighth best pass defenses last year. The Raiders also face these two teams in inter-conference games. What does all this mean from a fantasy standpoint? Absolutely nothing, but if it will help you make a decision between Moss and Owens, then it was worthwhile.
If you have to, flip a coin to make your choice. And make it two out of three. And, of course, monitor injury situations before you make the leap. Owens recently tweaked his groin in practice — it doesn't sound serious, but it bears watching. If you're still having difficulty making a decision, just take Marvin Harrison.
Pete from Cincinnati asks, "Will Rafael Palmeiro's suspension for steroid use hinder his chances of enshrinement in the Baseball Hall of Fame?"
No, not at all. Palmeiro will likely be in the first class elected to the new Steroid Wing of the Hall of Fame in Cooperstown, where the busts are made with genetically-enhanced bronze. In case you didn't know, I'm lying, but I'm not sitting before Congress, am I?
Seriously, though, Palmeiro's adamant denial before Congress of ever using steroids should undermine his integrity, which normally is a requirement for a spot in the Hall. But this is the 21st century, in which politicians and presidents lie before Congress and then go their merry ways, so why shouldn't a baseball player be afforded the same luxury? Palmeiro said if he took steroids, it was purely accidental. Should we believe that? Did we believe that Bill Clinton "accidentally" had numerous liaisons with Monica Lewisnsky? Or that Ronald Reagan "accidentally" sold arms to Iran? No. Read my lips: Rafael Palmeiro knowingly took steroids. And liked it.
How on Earth does one "accidentally" take steroids? That seems to be the claim of quite a few athletes who have tested positively for steroids. Do steroids work like cigarette smoke? Can steroids invade your bloodstream in a second-hand manner? Gosh, I can't tell you the number of times I've sat down and felt a syringe loaded with anabolic juice poking at my buttock. If I shake hands with a steroid freak, or attend a Mr. Universe contest, will I eventually bulk up?
Maybe if Palmeiro had the credentials of Barry Bonds, he could convince us that he unknowingly used some hand lotion that was laced with steroids. But Palmeiro is Palmeiro, and he was busted with the steroid Stanozolol, which helped make sprinter Ben Johnson the fastest human on the planet. Stanozolol is one of the strongest steroids, and usually administered by injection. For Palmeiro to attest that this steroid entered his body by accident is a ludicrous claim. When Palmeiro's suspension was announced, he didn't deny a positive test, but insisted it was accidental. If he's not denying a positive test, then he knows that steroids are in his body. If he knew this, how could it all be accidental? By logic, Palmeiro's a liar.
Who else in society can claim the "accidental" defense? Have you ever heard someone stand before a judge and say, "Your honor, I must have smoked that crack by accident," or, "To the charge of possession of 200 kilograms of cocaine, I plead innocent by reason of accident?" Maybe you have heard these, but I doubt the perpetrator was acquitted. Baseball players continue to use the "accidental" claim to purport their innocence, but the more the "accidental" plea is claimed, the less baseball fans are buying it.
Now, I realize Palmeiro's list of accomplishments is impressive, and probably 99% of it was done steroid-free. Maybe he felt that reaching the 3,000 hit plateau wasn't plausible without a little help for his aging body. Well, it worked. But at what cost? Now, he'll live forever in the minds of fans with the "steroid" stigma attached to his formerly good name. And we all know that once you are stuck with that stigma, you can't peel it, shake it, wash it, or jackhammer it off. This scandal may keep Palmeiro out of the Hall of Fame. What's worse, every time he crosses paths with Jose Canseco, Palmeiro will have to face a knowing wink from author of the book Juiced.
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