John Feinstein is a Jerk

A few weekends back, I was at a cookout with my girlfriend's family when her 16-year-old brother, Nick, pulled some harmless and common prank on a cousin. The cousin didn't make a big deal of it until another cousin, sitting nearby, started loudly whining repeatedly for him to "go tell Mommy." It was then that I suddenly realized what John Feinstein must have been like as a kid.

A little more than a week ago, John Feinstein used a column to tell the country that the "real" Tiger Woods is far from the funny and friendly guy you see in commercials. If that wasn't enough, he then took his "Tiger is a jerk" act to the radio, where he continued to run his mouth more about Tiger's imperfections. Now I could pull a "Feinstein" and tell everyone how to think, but instead of that, I will just tell you what I think — John Feinstein is a dick.

That may be a little harsh, but I'm fed up with this type of crap from columnists. A few years ago, everyone in the sports-media world kept saying Kobe Bryant is a good guy. Then he went a few rounds with that Colorado hotel worker and everyone said the same thing — "we don't really know these athletes we cover." Now Feinstein wants to run smack on Tiger like he has 24/7 access to him. Pardon my French, but cela est merde complete. (My limited high school French only covers the basics, like cursing, but if people want to use the whole "Pardon my French" thing, shouldn't they at least curse in French to keep it fresh?)

Feinstein has several main complaints about Tiger: he curses too much, he once raked his putter across the green after missing a putt and didn't apologize, he doesn't share his thoughts enough, and doesn't reprimand his mean caddie. I'm sorry, but is John Feinstein Tiger's mother? He curses too much? John, are you serious? I may be missing something, but that list doesn't sound very incriminating. What's more disturbing is that Feinstein felt that it was enough to run and tell anyone and everyone that Tiger isn't a true champion.

Now I never knew about Tiger's cursing and putter incident, but I now respect him more because of it. Everyone I have ever played golf with curses on the course, it's just part of the game. In fact, I usually curse before every shot I take, just because I know what's coming. And while the putter incident is Happy Gilmore-esque (I appreciate it, but I'm sure there are some blowhards who don't), you will need a little more than that to prove to me he isn't a true champion.

But wait, Feinstein does have more! For instance, the way Woods treated Phil Mickelson after the Masters this year. In case you didn't pick up on the scandal the first time around, after Phil Mickelson put the green jacket on Tiger, Woods didn't even glance back at him. I'm just damned glad John was there to get that down on paper and frankly, I'm surprised the Washington Post didn't come out with a breaking news late edition that day to cover the scandal.

So why isn't Tiger a true champion? Feinstein implies that Tiger isn't beloved, a statement that Michael Wilbon clearly debunked in a column last week and that's so blatantly false that it deserves a Vince Vaughn-esque (go see "Wedding Crashers," it is well worth it) "ERRONEUS!"

Feinstein may be content to look at petty things to determine that Tiger isn't a true champion, but for me, I have to look at what Tiger is doing off the course, as well. I don't have to look much farther than the eight "Tiger Jam" benefit concerts he's hosted to raise around $7 million for the Tiger Woods Foundation. In the fall, the foundation will open the Tiger Woods Learning Center, a $25 million, 35,000-square-foot facility that will include seven classrooms, a computer lab, a multimedia center, and a 250-seat auditorium will feature an after-school program stressing math, arts, language, and science.

"We felt the youth were getting underserved, especially in the inner cities," Woods told the AP in June. "They weren't given a chance to make something of themselves, so my father and I decided to do something about it. We're going to try and push them, try to get them to become leaders."

While he may have a long way to go in Feinstein's book ("Why Tiger is a Big Meanie Head", coming this fall), Woods is already a true champion in my book. Being an icon and role model to millions, dominating the game of golf like no other and doing the good and charitable work he does with his foundation is enough for me. Tiger, go ahead and curse, rake your putter wherever you want, and if I ever want to read about the time you spilled some milk, forgot to take your trash out to the curb, or ate some cookies after 9 PM on a week night, I'll check out John Feinstein's column.

The Sports Gospel According to Mark is sponsored by BetOnSports.com. BetOnSports.com gives you the greatest sports action to bet on. Wager on football, cricket, boxing, Rugby, horse racing, and more. Mark Chalifoux is also a weekly columnist for SportsFan Magazine. His columns appear every Tuesday on Sports Central. You can e-mail Mark at [email protected].