Sports Q&A: Hot Dog! It’s Kobayashi!

Oscar from Frankfurt, KY asks, "Who has the more impressive list of accomplishments: Tiger Woods, Lance Armstrong, or Takeru Kobayashi?"

Oscar, I can't believe you would mention Kobayashi in the same breath with Woods and Armstrong — the five-time Nathan's Hot Dog Eating Champion is clearly in a class by himself. I doubt Woods and Armstrong have eaten 49 hot dogs combined in their lives, much less in a 12-minute span, as Kobayashi did in June to claim his fifth title.

Seriously, Kobayashi's title reign is an impressive series of feats, as are Woods' and Armstrong's. Like Woods and Armstrong, the Japanese tsunami resides at the top of his sport, and spends countless hours mastering his athletic prowess.

What's that? Competitive eating is not a sport, and its competitors are not true athletes? Not a sport? They keep score at these events, don't they? And they showed highlights on ESPN. I think a small Japanese man, sporting a yellow Nathan's headband, inhaling 49 hot dogs in 12 minutes is definitely more exciting than three hours of the World Poker Tour. Do you know what Kobayashi gets for winning hot dog eating contests? A championship belt. If that doesn't make it a sport, I don't know what does.

Boxing is a sport, isn't it? Professional wrestling is a sport. And they award belts. I guarantee that if a belt would have been on the line on Dancing With the Stars, Evander Holyfield and partner would have won easily. All Woods and Armstrong get for their troubles are either a silly green jacket, a tight-fitting yellow jersey, and some cheap silver or crystal wares that probably ends up in their foyers holding junk mail, rubber bands, and paper clips. Can you imagine if Woods and Armstrong were rewarded with a championship belt? Woods wood have passed Jack Nicklaus in major wins by now, and Armstrong would probably be on the verge of clinching his tenth or so Tour de France.

Like his counterparts in the golf and cycling world, Kobayashi is known the world over by a singular name. No matter where you say "Tiger" or "Lance," everyone knows to whom you are referring. The same goes for Kobayashi. Now, he's not just known in hot dog-eating circles, and the name "Kobayashi" commands the same respect as world leaders, astronauts, and reality stars. In Japan, Kobayashi has achieved the same iconic status as Ichiro Suzuki, Pink Lady, and Godzilla. Soon, Kobayashi's likeness will appear on the newly-minted Japanese seven yen note.

Kobayashi's accomplishments become more impressive when you consider the training involved to maintain such a level as a world-class hot dog eater. Woods and Armstrong likely have been golfing or cycling since they were three or four. Kobayashi didn't pick up his first hot dog until he was 21, when he stumbled upon a frank at a baseball game in Tokyo. After devouring the purely American frank in about four seconds, Kobayashi recognized his unrealized talent and began training in essence with a trainer known as the "Mr. Miagi" of the competitive eating circuit.

Whereas Woods and Armstrong can hit golf balls and ride bikes all day, Kobayashi could only train around the three routine meals a day. And let's not forget: Kobayashi is Japanese citizen eating American food competitively. That would be like Woods or Armstrong reaching world-class status on the sushi eating circuit.

Like Woods and Armstrong, Kobayashi's intimidation factor is immense. When he steps to the table, competitors, as well as soon-to-be-consumed hot dogs, cower in fear. It's one thing to strike fear into another human, but the ability to intimidate food is unique to Kobayashi. In the 2005 competition, Kobayashi ate 49 hot dogs. His closet competitor, Sonya "The Black Widow" Thomas, ate only 37. That's a difference of 12 hot dogs.

How does that compare to Armstrong winning Le Tour by three minutes, or Woods winning a PGA major by four strokes? I don't know if it's more impressive, but it compares favorably. In any case, all three athletes are the best in the world at their respective disciplines by a large margin. Maybe in the minds of most people, Kobayashi's sport does not measure up to the worlds of golf and cycling. Kobayashi is on a one-man crusade to change that mindset, and he surely won't go hungry doing it.

Lew from Seattle, WA asks, "Will Derek Lee of the Chicago Cubs win the Triple Crown?"

Currently, Lee leads in each category of the Crown. His batting average of .375 gives him a sizable lead over Florida's Miguel Cabrera, who is batting .341. Although I'm sure Lee's average will fall over the rest of the season, I don't see it slipping enough to matter. He should win the batting title easily.

Lee's current RBI total of 78 gives him a slim one RBI lead over Carlos Lee of the Brewers and the Cardinals' Albert Pujols. Carlos Delgado of the Mets is close behind with 74. Throw Andruw Jones into the mix, and you have a five-man race for the RBI lead. Pujols was third last year, eight out of the lead of 131 by the Rockies' Vinny Castillo, so Pujols could be considered the favorite. However, in my estimation, Lee's considerably higher batting average and slugging percentage (he leads Pujols by well over 100 percentage points in that category) give him the edge in what will be a tight RBI race.

As of Friday, Lee leads the majors in home runs with 31, currently two more than the Braves' Andruw Jones and five more than Albert Pujols of St. Louis. If there's one thing that may keep Lee from the Triple Crown, home runs is the statistic. Pujols tied for the National League lead last year with 46, and with 26 so far this year, he's behind that pace, so he will probably not be Lee's closest competition. Jones presents the greatest competition for the home run title, as he's in the midst of a career year home run-wise, and Lee himself is entering new territory, as he has only 32 home runs last year.

Besides leading in each category right now, Lee has other factors working in his favor. The injured Barry Bonds is not a threat, and if anyone is to pull off the Triple Crown, a year without Bonds would be a prerequisite. Also, Steve Bartman hasn't been seen in Wrigley Field in quite some time. If he chooses to attend a game, officials should make sure he is not given a front row outfield seat, lest he may reach over the fence and steal a Lee homer. To better his chances even more, Lee should avoid all contact with billy goats for the remainder of the season, and refrain from any talk of curses.

Can Lee be the first man to win the Triple Crown since Carl Yastremski pulled it off in 1967, or will misfortune strike the Cubs' organization once again? My feeling is that Lee will accomplish two-thirds of the Crown and fall just short in the home run race.

Get Your Questions Answered!

Do you have a question or comment? Want to be turned loose on a mad rant? Hovering on the edge of insanity? Need your pillow fluffed? Then send your question/MRI/thread count to [email protected]. You may get the answer you're looking for in the next column on Friday, August 5th.

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