Note: the quotes in this article are fictional.
1. Jimmie Johnson — Johnson held on to his points lead with a 13th-place finish in New Hampshire, but now he has not one, but two competitors in hot pursuit for the points lead. Johnson lost ground to both Biffle and race-winner Tony Stewart, and now both stand less than 100 points behind Johnson.
"I've got no problem making it a three-way dance," says Johnson. "I think in France, they call it a 'garage a trois.' Call it what you will. All I know is that in about seven weeks, it will be a 10-man race. That's when the fun starts."
A month ago at Pocono, Johnson finished sixth, and extended his points lead on Stewart and Biffle, who finished 29th and 30th, respectively. Johnson would settle for an identical scenario this Sunday, but, ideally, he would much rather pick up his third win of the season and extinguish Stewart's recent blaze of glory.
2. Tony Stewart — "Two Out Of Three Ain't Bad." So sang chubby rock star Meatloaf back in 1978. After Sunday, Stewart can do the 'Loaf one better, with his third win in the last four races. And Stewart could do something Meatloaf could never do: lift his entire body weight up the length of a fence.
"But let's give Meatloaf some credit," says Stewart. "Maybe he didn't climb a fence, but I did hear of an incident back in 1980 when the 'Loaf, in a cocaine haze, gnawed through a chicken-wire fence to pilfer enough eggs to make himself a 10-egg omelet."
Awesome! That would make Ozzy Osborne envious. But let's give Stewart equal credit. He didn't eat a fence, but he did scale a pretty tall fence in full racing gear in 90-degree heat, and lived to tell about it. And, oh yeah, he led 232 of 300 laps to take the New England 300. The hottest driver in auto racing doesn't just win races, he dominates them.
On June 12th at Pocono, Stewart finished 29th, which was his last non-top five finish. After that mediocre result, Stewart finished second at Michigan, then reeled off consecutive wins at Sonoma and Daytona. This Sunday at the Pennsylvania 500, Stewart goes for the "double-double," two consecutive wins on two occasions.
3. Greg Biffle — Biffle's first top-10 finish in New Hampshire owed a lot to teammate Kurt Busch, a two-time Loudon winner who offered Biffle some track pointers. The information paid off, as the No. 16 Post-It/National Guard car came home fifth, thereby shaving 31 points from the points lead of Jimmie Johnson, who finished 13th. Biffle's interaction with Kurt's brother Kyle was not quite as pleasant, as the two bumped and banged in a battle for fourth place, which Busch eventually won.
"I must say I was a little shocked," adds Biffle. "Not to be involved in hard racing with Kurt's little brother, but the fact that I'm trading paint with this car and I look over to see Tony the Tiger on the hood. I'm used to the morning pleasantry of Tony smiling back at me as I look up from my bowl of Frosted Flakes. I must say I was offended."
A month ago, everyone was wondering who, if anyone, could derail the Roush Racing and Hendrick Motorsports dominance. To that point, those two teams had won 13 of 15 points races. Since then, they've won none. Now, the question is: can anyone stop Tony Stewart? Biffle would be the logical choice, as he leads all drivers with five wins. His four race winless drought matches his longest of the year.
4. Rusty Wallace — Wallace's third straight top-10 solidified his standing in the points, where he is fourth, 230 off of Johnson's leading marker. Wallace is the only Dodge in the top five in the points, and he is one of only five drivers with 10 or more top-10 finishes. Hey Rusty, with such a strong showing so far this year, would it be possible for Roger Penske to convince you to drive one more year? Then you could join Mark Martin next year for the Farewell 2 Tour.
"I'm dead set on retiring," says Wallace, "and concentrating on my many car dealerships. However, I've always wanted to expand into the rental truck arena, and I know Roger's got quite a bit of the market with Penske. If he offered me a cut of that, I could be easily persuaded."
That's great, Rusty. Just remember this: U-Haul kicks ass.
Rusty's last run at Long Pond promises a finish somewhere in the sixth to 12 range. Lately, Wallace and a top-12 are a guaranteed commodity. In his last eight races, he's finished no lower than 12th. That streak should continue.
5. Ryan Newman — Newman is on the longest pole drought of the year, having now gone four races without a No. 1 qualifying run. He has still qualified well, and backed up his fourth place effort in last Saturday's qualifying with a seventh-place finish in the race. Newman climbed back to sixth in the points, thereby regaining the position lost as a result of his 29th in Chicagoland.
"I need poles like I need another hole in my header," says Newman. "What I need is a win. It's been almost a year since I've been to Victory Lane. I really miss that place. And I'm sure Victory Lane is sick of seeing Tony Stewart. Not that Tony ever goes there. He's obsessed with this fence-climbing thing now."
You're right, Ryan. It's getting a little old, especially since it's been done by someone else before. Next time you win a race, do something original, like sprinting around the track ... on foot.
Newman struggled back in June at Pocono, with a 34th-place finish. This time, he hopes to return to the form he displayed in 2003, when he took the pole and won the Pennsylvania 500, his fourth of eight wins that year.
6. Kurt Busch — Busch made a huge jump in the standings, advancing five places to number five thanks to his runner-up effort at Loudon. Busch took the lead with 60 laps remaining, but after exchanging paint with Stewart, Busch was unable to hold the lead and lost by less than a second. It was Busch's second straight top-10, and the 2004 NASCAR champion seems to be working himself into shape for a run at a repeat.
"That's right, repeat," adds Busch. "That means I was Nextel Cup champion last year. I know many fans have forgotten, or never even knew, that I was champion. That's the price one pays for driving for such a talented and well-balanced Roush Racing team. I'm a NASCAR driver and I don't even know who won the title before me. Was it Gordon? Stewart? Yarborough? Cole Trickle?"
No, it was your teammate, Matt Kenseth. And Kurt, if you're going to summon the name "Trickle," it better be preceded by "Dick," and not "Cole." He was the punk driver in Days of Thunder played by Tom Cruise, who's the last person that comes to mind when I think of NASCAR drivers. Give me Barry Pepper as Dale Earnhardt, Sr. any day.
Busch qualified second in June's Pocono race, but only managed a 22nd at the finish. His recent jump up the standings has re-established him as a threat to repeat. Last year, after a 26th in the Pennsylvania 500, Busch only finished out of the top-15 once the rest of the year.
7. Mark Martin — Martin completed a solid run for Roush Racing in the New England 300 with a 15th place finish, the last of five Roush cars in the top 15. He dropped a notch in the points to seventh, 352 points out of first. As if Martin needed more on his mind than qualifying for the Chase, he now must decide whether to take Jack Roush up on his offer to drive the No. 6 car one more year.
"You mean keep the seat warm for Jamie McMurray, don't you?" a skeptical Martin queries. "I'm on to you, Jack Roush. You just don't want to hire a temporary fill-in in the mean time. But that's okay. It just means I get two sets of retirement gifts."
Congratulation on your impending retirements, Mark.
Martin finished seventh in June in the Pocono 500, a race won by teammate Carl Edwards, who has faded in the points as of late. Martin, as well as Greg Biffle, have been Roush's models of consistency.
8. Jeremy Mayfield — After cutting a tire and falling a lap down, Mayfield was unable to return to the lead lap, but recovered to finish 19th, the last car on the lead lap. Mayfield still gained a place in the points standings, up to eight, 387 off the pace. The No. 19 Dodge holds the fortunes of Ray Evernham Racing placing a car in the Chase, as teammate Kasey Kahne has struggled, although he did finish sixth last Sunday.
Mayfield has benefited from his partnership with crew chief Slugger Labbe, who previously served as crew chief for Michael Waltrip. Labbe also has experience with Hendrick Motorsports and Robert Yates Racing.
"Good old Slugger," says Mayfield. "With a name like Slugger Labbe, you think he'd be a lumberjack, or a journeyman boxer with a record of 11-45. But he ain't heavy — he's my crew chief."
Mayfield has improved one spot in the ranking in each of the previous two weeks. To continue that trend, he'll probably have to better his 14th result from Pocono in June. Improvement is definitely possible as he qualified sixth in that race and ran up front early until handling conditions degraded.
9. Elliott Sadler — After qualifying third and reaching the top ten near lap 100, Sadler's day was marred by contact in the pits courtesy of Kasey Kahne. Forced to repit to access the damage, Sadler came out 34th. After grinding his way back into the top 10 with 100 remaining, the No. 38 Robert Yates Racing Ford was rear-ended and sent to the wall by contact from Mark Martin. Sadler finished 39th, his worse finish of the year, and lost four more positions in the points, and currently stands ninth, 396 shy of Jimmie Johnson.
"First I get sideswiped by Kahne," says a disappointed Sadler, "then I get rear-ended by the No. 6 Viagra car. Oops! Did I say that out loud?"
Yes, you did, just as I'm sure you did a few choice words for Kahne and Martin.
Sadler hopes to regain the form that kept him at number three in the points for most of the season. A top-10 at Pocono would certainly stop the bleeding caused by consecutive 37th and 39th results. If Sadler can keep other cars off of him, he should manage a top-15.
10. Dale Earnhardt, Jr. — DEI's golden boy recorded his third straight top-10, finishing eighth after starting 24th on the grid. Earnhardt remained 13th in Cup points, but is slowly chipping away to reach the 400-point barrier to qualify for the Chase. Meanwhile, teammate Michael Waltrip announced that he will not return to race for DEI next year. Wow. That makes it sound like DEI wanted him to return in the first place. Junior, what's your take on the situation? Did you call the hit on Mikey?
"What?! Just because the team has my name on it doesn't mean I call the shots," says Earnhardt. "Mikey's like a brother to me. We've done Domino's Pizza commercials together. Besides, I think it's clear that Mikey's true calling in life is broadcasting. Have you ever seen Mikey on television in the studio and not been entertained? And those Aaron's Rents ads with Darrell. They're hilarious. I could see Michael in a Ben Stiller movie someday."
Fear not, Michael. Should you choose to continue your driving career, I'm sure a seat will become available. Maybe that of Sterling Marlin?
Anyway, Earnhardt has turned his season around about 120 degrees with three straight top-10s. A 180-degree turn will be completed when he continues to run up front and finish strong, thereby qualifying for the Chase. Earnhardt finished 33rd after qualifying 34th the last time out at Pocono, so his work is cut out for him.
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