Yo! NBA Bad Boy Ron Artest Raps

A season-long suspension from David Stern couldn't keep Ron Artest from fulfilling his dream.

Sure, Artest's absence was a constant burden and ultimate buzz-kill for an Indiana Pacers squad that was expected to contend for a championship.

Without question, it must have been hard for him to watch his overmatched teammates slowly wear down against the Detroit Pistons in this year's postseason. He could have done what Jamaal Tinsley, Stephen Jackson, and Reggie Miller simply could not, shut down Chauncey Billups and Richard Hamilton.

Artest very well might have pushed the Pacers past the Pistons in the playoffs. Who knows how far his team could have gone? He might have even gotten his chance to finally go one-on-one with Bruce Bowen against the Spurs in the Finals.

Ron Artest is probably sick of playing the "what if" game by now. But there's no way he's crying over spilled beer.

Even though he had to spend most of the year away from the game he loves, Artest couldn't have been too disenchanted with the way his season went. He somewhat serendipitously ended up getting the free time he requested from Pacers coach Rick Carlisle before the "Malice at the Palace."

Although he was only asking his coach for a couple weeks off.

Stern's iron fist may have kept Artest's team from winning gold rings. But it couldn't keep a true warrior from trying to go platinum.

It's been a few months since anyone has heard much from Artest during his extended offseason. But he's finally broken the silence.

On the website for Artest's record label, TruWarierRecords.com (proving once again that using spell check will ruin anyone's street cred), the NBA's modern-day Renaissance man has made the first single from his upcoming rap CD available for everyone's listening pleasure.

The song is called "We Party." While the title certainly seems to be geared towards the younger, club-frequenting cultural demographic, it doesn't seem to be for those NBA executives with fingers perpetually crossed that Artest will come back a changed man when he is reinstated. I bet everyone involved in the league would rest a bit easier if Artest's first track was named "We Practice," "We Promise to Be Good" or "We Participate in Anger Management Classes" instead.

In defense of the Artest, it would probably be hard to get "crunk" to those songs, though.

From the title, "We Party," we learn that the suspended hoopster has not undergone an extreme makeover and turned into former Laker A.C. Green. From the lyrics, we learn that Artest isn't the second coming of Shakespeare, Snoop Dogg, or Slim Shady.

But this doesn't mean the song is without any memorable lines. The following I consider to be Artest's "best":

"I got a lot of jewelry, but I ain't trippin', chicken."

"I'm accused of moving too fast. When her head hit the glass, she a snicker. I'm a rapper."

"Why she rippin' off my wife beater? Somebody tell me why I smell cheeba."

Is it possible to read too deep into these lines? Probably not. I'm not even entirely sure what they mean.

But the song's hook pretty much says it all about Artest.

"Ain't nothing like a gangsta party. Ain't nothing like a thugged out party."

It sounds like nothing will ever take the thug out of the league's most infamous deviant.

I bet that's music to David Stern's ears.

Comments and Conversation

July 14, 2005

Landry:

go artest im with 100% n everything u do
u gonna come 4 the pistons this year
cant wait

July 21, 2005

John:

This is nothing short of hilarious! Ron Artest: Thug Life!

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