C.H. Sanders of Henryville, Indiana asks the following: "Does Kenny Rogers deserve a 20-game suspension for his actions against two separate cameramen on June 29th, and how will this affect the operation of Kenny Rogers Roasters restaurants?"
Poor Kenny. Everyone considered him the coward of the county .... Oh, wrong Kenny Rogers? Sorry about that. Poor Kenny. It's bad enough that hungry people will only eat at a Kenny Rogers Roasters restaurant only if they find that Kentucky Fried Chicken, Popeye's, and Frank Perdue's Coupe De Chicken are unavailable.
What's that? Same Kenny Rogers, but still the wrong one? Oh, you're talking about second-rate Kenny Rogers? That would be the baseball pitcher with a temper and not the silver-haired crooner who never met a duet he didn't like? Okay. Incidentally, stock prices of Kenny Rogers' Roasters plunged from 94¢ to 41¢ as a result of Kenny Rogers the pitcher's actions. And chicken everywhere are refusing employment with Kenny Rogers Roaster restaurants, as well as boycotting Texas Rangers' games.
Heck yeah, Rogers the pitcher deserves 20 games. After all, he shoved not just one cameraman, but two. Who knows for what reason? Probably because, like many dysfunctional pro athletes, he holds himself above the standards expected of reasonable and respectable human beings. And why shouldn't he? He is clearly guilty of assault, but, wait and see, he'll have the charges dismissed provided he performs some useless community service that is of no service to any community.
One of the saddest things about the situation is the fact that Rogers still receives support, despite his eruption. He's still selected to represent the American League in the All-Star Game. And Rangers' general manager John Hart said, and I quote, "It was out of character, way out of character for Kenny.” Out of character?! No, it wasn't. Less than two weeks earlier, Rogers had a hissy fit after getting pulled from a start, and proceeded to slug several defenseless water coolers, resulting in a broken bone in the pinky finger of his non-throwing hand. Boo hoo! So, where does John Hart find the gall to say Rogers acted out of character?
And if you need proof than Rogers is less than a man, he missed a start because of the broken finger. What? It's your glove hand. You barely use it! If the cameraman would have done his homework, he would have circled to Roger's right and forced him to shove with his injured hand.
And that brings me to another point: when is a cameraman going to show some manhood and retaliate when one of these psychotic athletes commits an assault? What's the deal? Are all cameramen afraid to defend themselves? Don't worry. If you lose your job for slugging an abusive athlete, you'll still have book deals and interviews on which to get rich.
Hey, Kenny. If only your wife was named Lucille and she dumped you for being such a hotheaded jerk, you could sadly sing, "You picked a fine time to leave me, Lucille,” and if you happened to have four kids and a farm, you could continue, "four hungry children and a crop in the field." Sorry, I just had to plug my favorite real Kenny Rogers song, "Lucille." At least when people think of the real Kenny Rogers, they think of a hit song, and not a second-rate chicken restaurant. Now, when people think of Kenny Rogers, the pitcher, they longer think of a pretty good pitcher. They think of a pretty good pitcher with a bad temper, a stigma that will stay with him forever, or until people forget about him.
So, Rogers got some of what he deserves. What he needs now is an assault conviction from a cameraman who's willing to press charges and not let Rogers off the hook by settling out of court. He also needs to be rocked by National Leaguers in the All-Star Game. And an "Islands in the Streams" duet with Dolly Parton wouldn't hurt.
Jack from Columbus, Ohio asks: "With the potential for golf becoming an Olympic sport in 2012, let's assume each country is allowed to select two players to represent their respective nations. Obviously, one member of the United States team will be Tiger Woods. Should the second member of the U.S. team be Phil Mickelson or Michelle Wie?”
First of all, why make golf an Olympic sport? In most traditional Olympic endeavors, like track and field, Greco-Roman wrestling, and rhythmic gymnastics, the Olympic gold is the ultimate accomplishment. In other sports, most noticeably those recently added to the Olympic docket, like tennis, the Olympic gold means very little.
Quick, who won the women's tennis gold in 2004? I don't know, either. Who won Wimbledon in 2004? Easy. Maria Sharapova. The gold in golf, if it does in fact become an Olympic sport, will mean as much to the winner as a ninth-place finish in the Cialis Western Open. Besides, the 2012 Olympics in London will interfere with player preparations for the British Open, which is likely to coincide or transpire near the same dates as the Olympics.
But let's assume golf becomes an Olympic sport in 2012. Seven years from now, Tiger Woods will be 36-years-old, an age known to most golfers as their "prime.” Mickelson will be 42, late in his prime, chasing his second major. In seven years, Michelle Wie will be, what, 14? No, seriously, she'll be, what, 18? She'll be 22 in 2012? Oh. By then, she may be a full-fledged member of the PGA Tour.
This week, she's playing in the PGA's John Deere Classic in Illinois, her third PGA event (she's played in the last two Sony Opens). As of round one, she's at minus 1, better than 63 professional men golfers. So maybe it's not so far-fetched that Wie would represent the United States in golf in 2012. I myself would gladly choose to watch Wie vie for a golf medal than watch the U.S. men's basketball team loose the third-place game to Spain.
Wie's competition in a men's sport in the Olympics would throw athletic completion worldwide into turmoil. If a woman is allowed in a man's sport, you know there would be some punk guy suing for the right to challenge for the balance beam gold. Come to think of it, I'd like to see that. Any man made of 100% man parts willing to assume the risk of performing a somersault on the beam has my full support (no jock strap pun intended.) Seriously, men competing in women's sports is entirely out of the question. Or, at least in sports in which physical superiority is the key determining factor of success. That's not fair to the women. Now, if a women wants to play chess against the men's world champion, more power to her. Men and women are on equal footing in that respect.
In Wie's case, she's already competed against men, and beat some of them. Of course, she hasn't made the cut in either of the Sony Opens in which she's played, but that's still better than some of the men who failed to make the cut. I simply don't understand it when men golfers criticize Wie's intentions and inclusion on the men's tour. She's 15-years-old, for heaven's sake. She may not look it or play like it, but she's still just a girl. Give her a break, and a few more sponsor's exemptions. People want to see her play, and the more men complain about it, the more we want to see her beat you.
Either men players have some ancient, neanderthalic view of women, like Vijay Singh, or they are just afraid of losing to a female. Bobby Riggs didn't fade into obscurity after losing to Billie Jean King back in 1973. Wait a minute. Yes, he did. But that's beside the point. If men golfers feel superior to women golfers, then they should have no trouble proving that on the course.
If Wie can't make the Olympic men's team, then there's always the chance on the mixed doubles squad. Woods and Wie would be the Dream Team of golf. Sure, Annika Sorenstam would represent Sweden, but who would be her partner, Jesper Parnevik or Per-Ulrik Johansson? Either way, the Woods-Wie juggernaut would crush them.
But back to the heart of your question, Jack. Will we see Wie in men's competition at the 2012 Olympics? Would a male golfer have the guts to step aside and advance women issues and give up his spot on the team in deference to Wie? The answer to both questions: I don't know. How's that for a response in a Q&A column? Anyway, that's not to say we won't see those things happen. What we can do is support the cause. Contact Jacques Rogge, president of the International Olympic Committee, or do it in Salt Lake City fashion and bribe someone, and tell them, "Get me some Wie!” You'll be glad you did.
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