It goes without saying that it is a bad time to be a hockey fan. Nevertheless, in an effort to be more dramatic, I will say it: it's a bad time to be a hockey fan. Between the slowing of the CBA talks, Jeremy Roenick's tirade, drunken zamboni drivers and hockey goons acting like goons, lately, it's been depressing to follow the fastest game on earth. There has to be a good story somewhere, and if there's not, it's the NHL's job to create one.
It's no real surprise that the labor talks continue to drag on. Last summer, I thought that there was no way there could be a lockout because I assumed that no one was that stupid to let it come to that. Wrong. Then I thought there was no way it could last past the All-Star Break, because that would kill the game. Bob Goodenow and Gary Bettman may be stupid, I argued, but they weren't completely incompetent. And I was wrong again.
Surely, though, I reasoned, they could not ruin the Stanley Cup playoffs, that would be career suicide for them, they would never work in hockey again. If only we could have been so lucky. Instead, we still have Goodenow and Bettman in charge and we still have hockey in shambles. The fact that two "leaders" can be so overwhelmingly inept is mildly amusing to some, but the irreversible damage they are doing to hockey strips the situation of all amusement and only leaves me with contempt.
To add insult to injury, the NBA hype-machine had been spreading word that the two sides were too far apart from a deal and that they were headed for a nasty lockout. Misery loves company, so I was ready for the NBA to take some of the heat off of the NHL lockout. But at the last second, a deal is done and everyone is happy, making all involved with the NHL look like a group of imbeciles. That's pretty much the case, but the truth still hurts when it's flaunted in your face like that.
Outside of the ringleaders of idiocy, we have Jeremy Roenick telling fans to kiss his Bettman. Don't get me wrong, parts of his words were taken completely out of context, and Dan Patrick looked weary from the huge ego trip he went on during the interview with Jeremy, but it still wasn't the best PR move. I love to see that the people involved in this process are at least somewhat frustrated and pissed at this point, but the last thing hockey needed was any negative statement toward the fans. There are plenty of things to curse in the process, himself included, but when it comes to the fans, he should be offering to drive them to games just to make sure people go (if we ever have games again).
If it wasn't bad enough to throw the whole Roenick thing on top of the continuing CBA talks, we now have former NHL goon Bob Probert in the news getting charged with assault and intent to resist arrest. Who could've seen the former goon getting arrested for becoming violent and destroying property? I would have guessed that a player who made a living off of fighting (and a side gig of boozing) would become a normal and productive citizen after his retirement. Okay, so this was inevitable, but it could not have come at a worse time.
So the talks are going poorly, Roenick is cursing the fans, and a former player is wreaking havoc in Windsor. Surely, it can't get any worse, right? Wrong, yet again. Of course, now, nothing surprises me about the sad state of hockey. It looks like "The Battle of the Hockey Enforcers," the ridiculous hockey fight tournament including former NHLers and other hockey players, might actually take place later this summer.
Perfect, at a time when there is a lot of talk about whether or not fisticuffs should stay in the game at all, we have a tournament making a complete mockery of hockey. I'm a supporter of fighting in hockey — I think there is a place for it. That being said, I won't be surprised to see it gone from the game, thanks to pointless displays like this professional wrestling on ice.
So with all this garbage in the hockey world, where are the good stories? Does the NHL not employ a public relations staff? Were they the first to go once jobs started being eliminated? For every story I have to read about Bob Probert going Bob Probert on someone's property, I should see two stories about Jarome Iginla pulling some kid from a well (even if someone from the NHL puts the kid in the well to begin with). Every time someone gets a DUI on a zamboni (another tragedy in the hockey world), there should be a fleet of zambonis driving around town delivering food to the homeless. Anytime Jeremy Roenick talks, it should be to inform the public of when he's coming to their town to conduct free roller hockey clinics (the entire cost of this should be funded by Roenick).
We need to get hockey's smartest minds working on a cure for cancer (since they weren't allowed in on the CBA talks), and we need hockey's biggest bodies working 'round the clock with Habitat For Humanity. Would it be too much to ask to have Sidney Crosby start working as a volunteer firefighter? Can't we have some sort of funny promotion where hockey goons have a blood drive instead of some embarrassing wrestling on ice show?
Hockey desperately needs any good press they can get. Obviously, the league PR staff must be handpicked by Bettman himself, so it's up to the fans to save the game. My advice: find the nearest well you can, throw a kid in, and call Jarome Iginla.
The Sports Gospel According to Mark is sponsored by BetOnSports.com. BetOnSports.com gives you the greatest sports action to bet on. Wager on football, cricket, boxing, Rugby, horse racing, and more. Mark Chalifoux is also a weekly columnist for SportsFan Magazine. His columns appear every Tuesday on Sports Central. You can e-mail Mark at [email protected].
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