NASCAR Top 10 Power Rankings: Week 14

Note: The quotes in this article are fictional.

1. Jimmie Johnson — Johnson increased his points lead from a shaky 46 to a more solid 123 with a sixth-place finish in the Poconos, coupled with Greg Biffle's 30th. Johnson qualified 21st, and quickly advanced to the front, thanks to timely pit strategy from point man Chad Knaus and the Lowe's crew. In the final laps, Johnson was one of the few cars with four fresh tires, and he was set to pick off those ahead whose tires were quickly deteriorating. But Ken Shrader and Bobby Labonte hit the wall shortly after the final restart, and J.J. never was able to improve his position.

"Is it just me, or is anyone else sick and tired of the yellow caution flag?" asks Johnson. "I think the flag man might as well have that yellow flag fused to his arm, kind of like Captain Hook. It seems the yellow flies more than the green these days."

Indeed, the final caution left Johnson as helpless as Whitney Houston and Bobby Brown in rehab. Johnson will happily take his sixth-place finish and head to Michigan for the Batman Begins 400.

"If that isn't the epitome of a corporate sellout, I don't know what is," says Johnson. "First, the SpongeBob SquarePants 300, now the Batman Begins 400. What's next? The Friday the 13th: Part X Jason Takes MTV's Spring Break Brought to You by Dell 500?"

Trust me. It's not that far away. Now, if I could just find myself a sponsor.

Last year, Johnson followed up his win at Pocono with four straight top fives, so he may further distance himself from the field. Hendrick Motorsports seems to be hitting its stride, as well. With four cars in the top 10 at Pocono this year, the Hendrick stamp is paying dividends, for the experienced (Johnson, Jeff Gordon) and the young (Kyle Busch and Brian Vickers have combined for five top-10s in the last four points races).

2. Greg Biffle — Biffle's short-lived spell of bad luck (which began last week at Dover right after he won the race, when he slammed the wall on his celebratory burn-out) continued at Pocono when brake failure 62 laps from the finish cost him any chance of a decent finish. The No. 16 crew repaired the brakes, but Biffle fell three laps down and end up 30th, two laps down.

"The shifting rules really put a lot of pressure on the rear brakes," says Biffle. "I guess I cooked them like an old lady pumping the brakes going down a steep mountain grade in her 1996 Oldsmobile Delta 88. In the end, my brakes quit on me like Mike Tyson giving up to a red-headed Irish ogre."

Biffle surrendered 77 points to Nextel leader Jimmie Johnson, and now stands 123 back. But at least the car's in one piece. Biffle did, however, have a slight mishap on his way to the garage after the race, when he ran over the foot of owner Jack Roush.

Biffle hopes to rebound this Sunday at Michigan, the site of his second career Nextel Cup victory, in 2004. His four victories this year have come on traditional oval tracks of varying lengths. At the NASCAR circuits last stop at a two-mile oval, Biffle won in California on February 27th.

3. Carl Edwards — Edwards surprised everyone by making a victory run from the 29th position on the grid in his first race at Pocono, grabbing his second win of the year and seventh for Roush Racing. Edward's No. 99 was the only Ford in the top seven in a race dominated by Chevrolets. The young Missourian got his flip on, performing his customary back flip to celebrate, and vaulted five places to number four in the points, 303 behind Johnson. Admittedly, Edwards trained for his inaugural stint at Pocono on a NASCAR racing video game.

"Obviously, it wasn't on the ancient Atari 2600," says Edwards, "although that would be perfect were a car driven with a joystick and a single button. I always told my parents that having Pac Man fever would pay off someday. But just a little advice to all you kids who play video games eight hours a day: you may fancy yourself an Xbox Einstein right now, but where will that take you in the future? Get an education, or learn to drive a car real fast."

Incidentally, Edwards in now in negotiations with Rockstar Games, makers of the Grand Theft Auto franchise of video games, to star in their new production, Grand Theft Auto: NASCAR Nation. The object of the game will be to wreck your opponents while kidnapping NASCAR officials, bedding other drivers' wives, and blasting your way through dangerous autograph sessions, all the while speeding around NASCAR track complexes.

Edwards set the record for winning from the worst qualifying position, beating Terry Labonte's mark of 27th set in 1995. A stellar day by the No. 99 pit crew made Edwards' win possible, and he made up most of the ground on pit stops, then held off Brian Vickers for the win.

Edwards now sets his sights on the track (and the simulated track on the video game) of Michigan International Speedway. In Edwards' first-ever Nextel Cup start, he finished 10th there last August. What will be the key for Edwards? Experience on the track, or video game training?

4. Mark Martin — Martin's No. 6 Roush Racing Viagra car was the only other Ford, besides that of teammate Carl Edwards, to finish in the top 10. He followed up his third at Dover with a seventh at Pocono, strengthening his points position one notch to fifth, 328 off Johnson's pace. Martin now has seven top-10s on the year, tied for third most behind Johnson's eleven and Biffle's nine.

"And here's the kicker," adds Martin. "Five of my seven top-10s have occurred in races won by Roush drivers. It just reiterates the story of my life: no matter what I do, there's always somebody overshadowing me. If I don't win the Cup this year, I fully expect NASCAR to present me with a lifetime achievement award, and a nice rocking chair."

You have to believe that Roush Racing would not be experiencing the success it has so far this year without the leadership and guidance of Martin. Martin will definitely be in the Chase for the final 10 races, and, with the breaks on his side, could win the coveted title.

5. Elliott Sadler — Coming home in 21st position, Sadler knew his day could have been decidedly better had he avoided a case of the lead foot on his final two pit stops. The No. 38 Robert Yates Ford served two drive through penalties which nullified any chance of a top-10 finish.

"Incidentally, my favorite Sammy Hagar song is 'I Can't Drive 55,'" says Sadler. "At least in NASCAR for speeding, you're only penalized a drive through penalty. That's nothing compared to what I face out on the open road: tickets, inflated insurance premiums, and the humiliation of posing for photographs for cops who still give me a ticket."

Sadler maintained the third position in the points, but lost ground to leader Johnson. Sadler has had a lock on the third position for some time, but less than 100 points separates Sadler from the number 10 spot. Sadler will need a result in the neighborhood of last year's fifth-place in Michigan to remain at three.

6. Kevin Harvick — Harvick matched Saturday's eighth-place qualifying run with an eighth in Sunday's race, spending most of the race as a top-10 player. Harvick wasted no time moving to the front, taking second place by the end of lap one. The No. 29 GM Goodwrench Chevy then began to experience some handling problems, but they were quickly alleviated by adjustments in the pits. Harvick remained in the top 10 most of the day, but was stricken by late cautions that left no time to advance on his fresh tires. The eighth was Harvick's best finish ever at Pocono, and moved him three spots up to number seven in the points.

Harvick's most difficult work, however, took place on Saturday as he deflected and denied rumors of moving to Penske Motorsports to drive the No. 2 Miller Lite Dodge, a seat vacated by the retiring Rusty Wallace.

"It's those media types always starting rumors based on no fact whatsoever," says Harvick, "which forces me to issue a denial based on no fact whatsoever."

I think what Kevin is trying to say is this: never trust a pro athlete when it comes to their denial of a rumor. The rumor is usually true. So Kevin, congratulations on your new ride!

Harvick's best finish at Michigan is a 10th in 2002. He should benefit from extra time on the track this weekend, as he is at the helm of the No. 92 GM Goodwrench Silverado in Saturday's Craftsman Truck Series race.

7. Jeff Gordon — After three-straight DNFs, Gordon finally completed a race, finishing a workmanlike ninth after starting at the back of the field. Gordon tapped the wall in qualifying, so necessary repairs to the damage relegated him further back from his 31st qualifying position. It was the No. 24 Monte Carlo's first foray into the top 10 since a second-place in Darlington in early May.

"I've heard the chuckles and the snickering," explains Gordon. "People are calling me 'Crash' Gordon behind my back. Even worse, some are calling me 'Robbie' Gordon. Ouch! But I'm back in the groove now. They'll be calling me 'Flash' Gordon once again. P.S.: Danica Patrick — I love you!"

Gordon should be set for the ride. After Michigan, NASCAR travels to two of his favorite circuits: Infineon Raceway for the Dodge/Save Mart 350 on the road course, then Daytona for the Pepsi 400, on a track where Gordon has won the last two races. In 2004, after a disappointing 38th at Michigan, Gordon went on a tear, capturing three-straight poles, with two wins and a fourth. Expect Gordon to entrench himself in the top 10 for weeks to come.

8. Ryan Newman — Newman's streak of four-straight top-10s came to a screeching halt last Sunday when he blew his left front tire on lap 194 and hammered the wall. It was the No. 12 Alltel Dodge's second deflated left front of the race. Blown left front tires were thematic of the race, as several drivers, including Dale Earnhardt, Jr. and Ricky Rudd, suffered multiple left front failures.

"Man, was the Michigan State Highway Patrol looking for a stolen car on the track?" asks Newman. "Because, I swear, they must have laid the 'stop sticks' out on the track in several places, because everybody was popping tires. I think I saw Mr. Goodyear with a worried look on his face, and I could have sworn I saw the Michelin Man laughing at it all."

Despite his violent skirmish with the wall, Newman walked away unscathed, a testament to the safer barriers and Newman's toughness, which has allowed him to escape rollovers, fiery crashes, and other accidents without harm.

Newman is the defending champion of the Batman Begins 400, which was called the more pedestrian DHL 400 last year. He also has a win at MIS in 2003, but, oddly enough, he's never won a pole there. The Rocketman will be fast, will take the pole, and will likely finish with a top 10.

9. Jamie McMurray — McMurray salvaged a little respect for Dodge manufacturers by staking the only spot in the top 10 for a Dodge driver, claiming his fifth top-10 of the year. The No. 42 Texaco/Havoline Chip Ganassi Charger took the ten spot, and McMurray moved up a spot in the points to twelfth. As it stands now, McMurray would be the final qualifier for the Chase, standing 392 points behind points leader Jimmie Johnson.

"Wow. Only one Dodge in the top 10," says McMurray. "That doesn't bode well for the upcoming release of the Dodge Charger street version. If the Charger's getting beat by Fords on the track, what's not to say it won't be outdone by the four-door, family sedan Taurus on the street?"

In four races at Michigan, McMurray has a best finish of fourth in 2004, offset by two results of 36th and 37th. He hasn't cracked the top six since Darlington — he needs a finish in that neighborhood to boost his shaky Chase standing.

10. Rusty Wallace — Originally credited with finishing 10th, Wallace was bumped to 11th when NASCAR reviewed the tape of Bobby Labonte's last lap crash and deemed the field frozen at that point. At that moment, Wallace held the 11th spot.

"Stiffed by the man again," says Wallace. "I long for the good ole days, when the caution flew and you could race to the line regardless of the carnage on the track. These rules are ruining NASCAR racing. Can't we go back to the time when drivers ran moonshine and the only law of the road was "anything goes?"

Sorry, Rusty. I guess the best NASCAR can do is allow liquor sponsorship on the cars. It ain't moonshine, but it's the next best thing.

Wallace and the No. 2 Miller Lite team have been remarkably consistent this year, with only one result worse than 27th. But they haven't been great, with only two top-fives. Consistency alone won't cut it — Wallace, eighth in the points and 348 behind Johnson, is dangerously close to the bubble for qualifying for the Chase.