I Hate Mondays: On-Ice Advice

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Officially, it's been just over a year since the last NHL game was played and while the off-ice issues are just over a month from being settled (allegedly), the on-ice dilemmas still remain.

People seem to forget that even though the sport was active and functioning prior to the current labor dispute, it wasn't watched or attended anywhere near the level of the NBA, NFL, or MLB.

But that can change in a second.

Let's assume that an agreement is met between the National Hockey League and its Player's Association by the end of the month. That means that a salary cap will (finally) be installed and a chaotic free agency period will ensue. Picture teams like the New York Rangers in a frenzy to trim about $30 million in payroll to get under the cap or teams like the Detroit Red Wings forced to pick and choose amongst their talent, who to keep and who to release. Will the St. Louis Blues retain both Keith Tkachuk and Chris Pronger if their contracts consume half of the teams allotted roster funds?

With a horde of prime players up for grabs on the market, this could be a historic signing season to watch — one more hectic than any offseason in any other major sport.

Add to that a draft which includes the highly-anticipated prospect Sidney Crosby and the NHL will emanate with excitement after lying dormant for a whole season.

There have been murmurs of on-ice changes to increase scoring: reducing the size of goalie equipment, making the nets larger and a concept of settling tie games with a shootout. If all those modifications are introduced simultaneously the amount of scoring may augment to an excessive degree. Remember the idea of expansion? They had the right thought then but they took it a little too far. The NHL has the right idea here again — scoring does need to pickup, but nobody wants to see the value of the goal decrease.

Here are four amendments that would truly return the coolest game on earth amongst the ranks of the major sports:

1. Enhance In-Between Play Entertainment

The NFL has sideline cheerleaders and a quality halftime show, the NBA has decent timeout merriments, and MLB offers inter-inning amusements, as well as a seventh-inning stretch. What that means for the NHL is that a zamboni and some jumbotron videos do not qualify as entertainment.

How about some cute girls on ice skates during a TV timeout or possibly some sexy cheerleaders in the crowd for motivation? Every other sport has cheergirls, so it's time for the NHL to shoot par. Stronger first and second intermission shows should also be on the to-do list in order to boost the value for the attending fans.

2. Punch-out Goons

If you are uncertain what the main objective of hockey is, let me clarify it for you: score more goals than your opponent. It doesn't involve fighting and it doesn't involve tough guys who intend to injure. You want to improve scoring? Take the one-to-two louts off of every team and replace them with a skill player. Don't worry, the game will still be physical. The rugged battles along the boards amongst power forwards will remain and tempers will still flare between rivals.

What will be subtracted are the Bob Proberts, the Sandy McCarthys, and the Peter Worrells who are more suited for a pair of boxing gloves than a pair of ice skates. There is no need for these thugs to muck up the free-flowing game that we love. Besides, what happens when a fight interrupts the play in baseball, basketball, or football? You are ejected and usually suspended. The NHL should emphasize more skill and finesse and slash the goons from the game.

3. Dress Casual, Forget the Ties

There is nothing like paying a pretty penny for hockey tickets to see your favorite and least favorite team end in a draw. Not only is it anti-climatic, but it defeats the purpose of sports. Shootouts seem to be the latest solution skating around the league to solve this predicament, but that is not the best way to settle even hockey games because that will, once again, diminish the significance of the goal.

If anyone has ever watched a four-on-four overtime, you know that the added space creates endless scoring chances for both teams, so why not play that way until the end? Yes, there will be the rare marathon, but baseball and basketball have lengthy overtimes and they play next day games, as well. Fans, particularly the ones who purchase tickets for these events, want better value out of hockey games so eliminating ties and, in the rare occasion, playing double or triple overtime will offer them that worth.

4. Make a Story, Change Arena Dimensions

There's no secret to the NFL's success, it has to do with their ability to create storylines from week to week. How will Michael Vick perform in the snow at Lambeau field? How will the high-octane Kansas City Chiefs fare against the stingy defense of the Baltimore Ravens? Well, the NHL can write some interesting plots of their own by tinkering with the playing surface.

Some pundits have frequently suggested playing on an international-sized rink to decongest the neutral zone and to open up the skating. While I like that idea, I suggest making some arenas the Olympic-size and leaving some the way they are. Take out the red line in a few arenas and leave it there for the others. Now, all of the sudden, franchises will start to cater to the dimensions of their stadium and teams will truly have home-ice advantage. Teams with an Olympic-sized ice will emphasize speed while the squads with a regular playing surface will be built bigger and more physical.

It's exactly how the Boston Red Sox have always looked for that right-handed slugger for their Green Monster at Fenway Park or how the Atlanta Braves have stressed pitching in their pitcher-friendly Turner Field. You satisfy to the contours of your stadium so that visiting teams are not comfortable at your home. Come playoff time, it would be interesting to see how a sizeable Philadelphia Flyers squad fares on a full-sized ice surface in Colorado or how the free-skating Avalanche would manage with less space in Philadelphia.

With a laundry list of changes on the way — off the ice and on the ice — the NHL should have an appealing aura that might catch the eye of the many supporters that they lost during their one-year hiatus.

As they say, change is good.

The old NHL and the new NHL mix like Mondays and me.

"I don't understand why people are frightened of new ideas. I'm frightened of the old ones." — John Cage

Don't miss next week's installment of "I Hate Mondays," sponsored by CyberSportsbook.com, a great sportsbook for horse racing and casino action!