Slant Pattern’s Fake Mailbag

We get mail here at the Slant Pattern, why don't we clear some out and start a mailbag feature of our own?

Well, for starters, because we actually don't get mail here at the Slant Pattern. In fact, I wonder how many mailbag columns really consist of "letters" that actually come from the author. Or maybe it's time for me to accept that fact that I get no love and it's time for me to hire prostitutes to write e-mails to me asking about the likelihood of Thongchai Jaidee getting into the British Open (answer: he's in!). Until then, I will just answer the mailbags from other people's columns.

I'm a big fan of Stewart Mandel over at Sports Illustrated. He's their resident college football writer. What are his readers wondering?

One reader asks, "Will Ohio State's linebackers and defensive backs be able to shut down Texas quarterback Vince Young on Sept. 10?"

Ah, yes. We are getting closer and closer to the start of the college football season and the matchup of Ohio State against Texas.

I'm an Ohio State alum, and I have an axe to grind against Texas. When I enrolled at OSU in 1994, it had more students that any other single campus in the country — just over 50,000. By the time I left, Texas held that distinction, and still holds it.

Vince Young will be a challenge for the Ohio State linebackers to be sure. I still (and I'm being unbiased here, I think) give Ohio State the edge. Whenever Ohio State goes into a heralded non-conference game (North Carolina State last year, Washington two years ago), they always seem to come up on top — I can't, off the top of my head, recall them
losing a non-conference regular season game under Jim Tressel. Of course, Texas usually handles their non-conference schedule too, so we'll see.

Another reader asks, "During January's Cotton Bowl, announcers kept mentioning how Tennessee and Texas A&M were almost mirror images, and that the winning team would be highly-ranked going into this season. If A&M had won, would it be in the preseason top five and UT be out of the top 25? It's hard to imagine one game making that much of a difference."

It is hard to imagine one game making that much of a difference, especially considering that one game didn't take place this season.

This is why one always must remember that the biggest part of an announcer's job is to sell hype. No announcer is ever, ever going to say, "We have a real dud in this year's Cotton Bowl." So, the commentators have to figure out how to sell it that's not necessarily completely ridiculous.

That said, although I like both Tennessee and Texas A&M to wage successful campaigns in 2005, the top five may be a reach for both.

Next question:

"While the Big 10 is obviously superior overall to the MAC, why does the MAC consistently get better quarterbacks? Do that many guys slip through the cracks, or is there more to it? Did Chad Pennington, Ben Roethlisberger, Charlie Frye, and Omar Jacobs really not get recruited by the Big 10?"

Without knowing the specifics on these particular players, recruits generally play in the MAC, rather than the Big 10, either because they indeed were not recruited by a Big 10 school, or because a MAC school offered them a better deal than a Big 10 school (for example, full ride vs. partial ride, a promise to start right away, etc).

Beyond that, I don't really think it's any more than a coincidence that the MAC has come up with a lot of good quarterbacks lately. Some guys do indeed just slip through the cracks. Walter Payton and Jerry Rice came from Jackson State and Mississippi Valley State, respectively, and that's just the beginning of a long list of NFL superstars that came from schools that make the MAC look like the Big 10.

Another reader asks, "Looking back, do you think the NCAA was unfair in its punishment of Alabama in 2002 for recruiting violations? I mean, people have been screaming about violations at Tennessee for years, and every time, "nothing" is found — even when there was a paper trail leading to improper benefits for Tee Martin. More recently at Ohio State, the NCAA just gave up trying to investigate Maurice Clarett's allegations. Alabama did its time and is moving on, but I'm curious to see what people think with the benefit of hindsight."

I'll give you one guess as to what state the writer heralds from. I'll give you a hint. The city he's from starts with "B" and ends with "irmingham."

No one ever writes, "How come my school always gets off so easy and my rival gets brutalized with murder charges every time they do the slightest thing?" No one ever writes, "My school/team sure has benefited from a lot of bad officiating." Taking this line of thinking beyond sports, no one ever says, "My race/gender/political party sure has it easier than the other races/gender/political parties."

It's the victimhood mentality, and those who decry it the most on one area convey it the most in others. What can you do to stop someone from thinking the world is stacked against them in All Matters Great And Small?

So instead I'll just fan the flames and tell this reader the only answer he would likely believe: the media, the NCAA, and the Trilateral Commission have always done what they can to help Tennessee, and always will. They have ties to Tennessee, they're behind Tennessee. As such, they hate all things Alabama, and don't think for one second that they won't do all in their power to keep them down.

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