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May 31, 2005

Embracing the Sports Cliché

Around Memorial Day, it seems as if every sports column is the same. They all either lament the insignificance of sports in the "grand scheme" (which just isn't true, but that is another column) of things, praise someone or some group somehow connected to the U.S. military, or talk about how great Pat Tillman was. It's not that I'm against the country or military or anything, but come on, those ideas are so cliché. Surely, a good writer could come up with something better.

I can't help but fall into the same cliché trap (I never said I was a good writer). I bounced around several different ideas, including satirical twists on Memorial Day and great American athletes, but I always came back to the same thought: maybe I was missing the point of the holiday and maybe Memorial Day shouldn't be mocked. I kept thinking that clichés be damned, it would be good for me to put down my stones, step outside my glass house, and honor those who have died for our country. As a sports columnist, I decided to focus on Pat Tillman.

That being said, I have read countless stories on Pat Tillman and they are all the same. I didn't want to write the same old story or get behind the latest twist about how the government abused the information around his death. I knew the basics, but I wanted to find out what Pat was really like, so I talked to his good friend, his brother-in-law, Alex Garwood.

To get a better idea of the person Pat was, I asked Alex to describe his favorite Tillman memory.

"There are far too many memories," he said, "but one that sticks out was when I had the opportunity with my wife and Pat and his wife to travel throughout Europe a number of years ago. That was when Pat was training for his marathon and every day he'd wake me up to go for a run. We saw England, we saw Paris, and we saw Ireland all with our running shoes on, which was great.

"One day we went for a run along the North Sea, we went for about 15 miles and it was raining and cold, we ran past a number of golf courses and sheep and we just had a great time. But when we were done, we were right there by the North Sea and I look over and Pat's taking off his shirt. Now, he's the kinda guy [that] when he takes his shirt off, you put yours back on, but he was taking off his shirt and I was like, 'what are you doing?'

"'Goin' in the North Sea' he said. Then he just went running off and jumped into the North Sea and got back out. I just kind of looked at him and he said 'What?' I called him crazy and said, 'Hey, when am I gonna be back here again?'

"I think that's just a great example of the fact that he took advantage of every opportunity and lived life to its fullest," Garwood said.

Alex is now the executive director of the Pat Tillman Foundation and got involved because he wanted to carry on the legacy of his friend and brother-in-law.

"Pat was inspiring in many different ways, and I was fortunate and honored to be his friend and it's something I'm extremely proud of," Garwood said.

"My sons (Pat's nephews) will know him because I will explain to them the man he was, but how do I make it so you are touched by him and how do I share it and how do I make it so your kids can have the opportunity to learn about my friend Pat?" he asked. "Doing it with this foundation is the next best thing, because he's not here and he cant do it himself, we have to try to the best of our abilities to carry that forward."

Alex explained that the foundation is carrying forward his legacy through a program called "Leadership Through Action." The program is a workshop for college kids to enhance their leadership skills and to do something with those new skills.

"That doing something is developing a program that helps others, developing a program that rights a wrong, finding a solution to a problem," Garwood said. "Then they develop a business plan while working with today's leaders to fix it and if the plan is viable, we provide the funding for them to make it a reality."

The leaders of the foundation, including Alex, have developed a great concept. Not only will they provide inspiration, but the tools, methods and money to help change the country. This is a great way to keep Tillman's legacy alive and to actually make a difference in this world. The plan eventually is to expand the program, which will start this fall at Arizona State, but the foundation needs help.

There are numerous ways to get involved, such as donating money, volunteering or even wearing a Pat Tillman wristband (which can be ordered for free at pattillmanfoundation.org), but there is even a simpler way to help.

"Help us spread this message," Garwood said. "People are inspired by Pat for many different ways and many different reasons, so talk to people about it. Help us spread the legacy."

In honor of Memorial Day, do something as a tribute to fallen soldiers like Pat. Even something as simple as telling another person about the foundation and the website would go a long way. And in honor of Pat, the next time you come across the North Sea, jump in.

Mark Chalifoux is also a weekly columnist for SportsFan Magazine. His columns appear every Tuesday on Sports Central. You can e-mail Mark at [email protected].

Posted by Mark Chalifoux at 3:38 PM | Comments (0)

Larry Brown Prepares to Depart Again

Would it surprise anyone, at this point, if Larry Brown departs Detroit after this season?

It can't. Can it?

When Brown left Philadelphia for Detroit a few seasons ago, shock rushed over the city of Philadelphia to the point of Brown reaching Kobe Bryant, J.D. Drew, and Dallas Cowboy levels of hate in some corners of the city. There were conspiracy theories swirling around talk radio. Did Brown meet with Joe Dumars while his Sixers team was dropping a Series to the Pistons? No one had any reason to believe that he had, yet the question popped up.

Brown leaving Philadelphia shouldn't have surprised anyone. This is what he does. Maybe Brown's departure only surprised those in Philadelphia, while the rest of the nation knew that it was time for Brown to move on. He had spent more time in Philadelphia than anywhere else, after all. He should have been able to move on without people questioning his motives.

But, at the same time, maybe that was the problem in Philadelphia. The city had gotten to know Brown. The city had Brown and they had their star player, Allen Iverson. The two of them went through highs and lows. Brown upset with Iverson to the point of wanting to move and no one would have faulted him, yet he fought through it and remained in Philadelphia.

In Detroit, it can't possibly be the same.

Brown was brought to Detroit, specifically, to win an NBA championship. A mercenary. While in Philadelphia, Brown had several chances to bring Rasheed Wallace to the Sixers. In Detroit, he landed Wallace, the player that just may have pushed the Pistons over the top in terms of winning the NBA title.

In Philadelphia, there weren't rumors of his departure before it happened. Well, there were those who were certain that one day Iverson would run Brown out of town, but there was never the mention of specific destinations for Brown after Philadelphia. That's not the case for Brown these days. He's been linked with several teams and recently, the Knicks and now the Cleveland Cavaliers.

Brown just might be entertaining offers and leave himself willing to open an ear even while coaching in the playoffs. He's done it before. When people say that he is close to taking the job in Cleveland and is just waiting for the season to end, you have to wonder. At the very least.

Brown is not loyal. He demands dedication from his players. If they taper off and let their minds wander to something else, Brown reels them back in to his system. But, Brown does it as well. Sure, you can argue that he's done it so much know that he's become adept to looking for a new job while still maintaining his current ship.

If you're a Pistons fan, you probably care if they wind up losing to the Miami Heat. Especially if he takes the Cavaliers job right away. That would sting in the same manner that Brown's leaving Philadelphia for Detroit left Philly fans. If the Pistons win another NBA championship, however, Brown's leaving might not be taken as hard from the Piston faithful.

See, that's the trade off to all of this Brown confusion.

You get better. There's no doubt about that. For however long Brown coaches your team, you're going to be better than you would be without Brown. Even if it's for a short while. Even if he's willing to leave for a job that is simply appealing to him for whatever reason. People know this going in and people are willing to deal with whatever psychological element Brown has going on in his head where he needs to seek new challenges.

He is a builder.

Detroit has the best starting five in basketball right now, but would they without Brown's influence on those players?

Maybe. But, probably not. Chauncey Billups is a different player under Brown and there is no doubt the coach brings out the best of the rest of them. They were a good team before Brown entered the fold, but became a championship team because of Brown. If Brown would have left after one season, Pistons fans might have even been okay with it.

Because that's what it comes down to. The way Brown leaves situations. Suddenly. Without warning. Well, as we're learning, the without warning part isn't too big of a factor. Whenever you have Brown as your coach you should expect that departure, even with years remaining on his contract.

When he left Indiana for Philadelphia, it was pretty much known half way through the season. When he left Philadelphia for Detroit, he did it suddenly. Right after the playoffs. Without warning.

If Brown leaves for Cleveland, it won't be without warning, but it will be sudden, as he still has three years left on his contract with Detroit.

Maybe if Brown decided to stretch out his departures, it wouldn't be so bad. He could have left Philadelphia and then allowed for Detroit to court him for a couple of months. Stretching it into the summer and what not. The same could go for the present. Brown could depart Detroit saying that he is seeking new challenges. But he likely won't. Brown's track record is to swiftly move on to another job.

He probably shouldn't jump ship in the manner he does. He probably should leave jobs with purpose, rather than allowing his eyes to bulge at the prospects of a different situation. He could make the fans of the teams he coached seem like they mattered. Even if, to him, they didn't.

Posted by Doug Graham at 1:01 AM | Comments (0)

The Best Team Nobody's Talking About

The San Diego Padres came into May 11-13 and all but written off by media pundits and fans. The team had just been laid into by embattled manager Bruce Bochy and there was talk of letting go of the skipper who has helmed the franchise since the mid-'90s.

On May 2nd, the Padres took what seemed to be an innocuous game between two bottom dwelling teams and began a surge that shows no signs of slowing down. Since April 27, the amazing Friars have taken 21 of 27 games and have become the hottest team no one knows about.

Led by the resurgence of Brian Giles and Ryan Klesko, the Padres have surged from fourth-place and five games behind the Dodgers to first place in the National League West and the third best record in baseball. Brian Giles has been red-hot of late, batting .364 in May with 20 RBIs and 23 runs scored.

As hot as the Padres hitters have been, the pitching is still what makes this team go. Jake Peavy has turned into one of the best pitchers in the game. With a record of 5-0 and an ERA of 2.00, the National League ERA leader from 2004 has picked up right where he left off.

However, it is the emergence of Adam Eaton and rookie Tim Stauffer who have helped the Padres to one of the best months in club history. The Padres have been counting on Eaton since acquiring him in a trade with Philadelphia Phillies six years ago. Eaton showed signs off being the dominant pitcher the Padres hoped for late in the 2001 season before going down with a season ending elbow injury in 2002. After a rough 2004, Eaton has proven to be worth the wait. Boasting a 7-1 record and a 3.49 ERA, Eaton has proven to be a solid No. 2 starter behind Peavy.

Stauffer, called up earlier this month after Woody Williams went down with an injury, has been solid for the Padres as well. The rookie has gone 1-1 and pitched a gem yesterday against San Francisco. Many within the Padres system think Stauffer could be the best of San Diego's young arms in the next few years.

However, the strength of the Padres is their dominant bullpen. The Padres have one of the best closers in the history of the game in Trevor Hoffman. Hoffman, third all-time in saves, has had a career renaissance this season. After suffering what many thought would be a career ending injury in 2003, Hoffman once again is one of the top saves men in the National League with 15 saves in 17 opportunities. The Padres also boast three capable setup men in Rudy Seanez, Scott Linebrink, and Ankinori Otsuka. The bullpen has been lights out from the seventh inning on.

However, with all of these plusses, the Padres know they will need more help to transform them from a playoff contender to a championship team. The Padres would love to add another pitcher to complete their five-man rotation. With the injury to all-star second baseman Mark Lorretta, the Padres would also like to add another bat to the front of their line-up.

Yet, the Padres seem to have hit their stride and show no signs of letting up. Boasting the best home record in the league, the Padres have finally grown comfortable with the spacious confines of Petco Park. While teams like the Yankees and White Sox have fattened their records against the bottom dwellers, the Padres surge has come against the best in the National League, including the Braves, Marlins, and Cardinals.

These are the San Diego Padres, just winning and having fun in the obscurity of Southern California. If you don't know them now, you will get to know them in the months to come.

Posted by Derek Daggett at 1:00 AM | Comments (6)

May 30, 2005

I Hate Monday: K.C. Royals: Chaotic

Sponsored by CyberSportsbook.com

There are only two things worse than the 2005 Kansas City Royals: Britney Spears' television show and the 1962 New York Mets.

While it's quite difficult to degenerate to a quality inferior to "Britney and Kevin: Chaotic," the Royals are making a determined effort to debase themselves to that level. More importantly, they are taking a serious run at the indelible record set by the 40-win Mets in 1962.

They are 13-37, they have lost six-straight games and if they tack on another three losses before they manage a single win, they will be on that dreadful pace.

Considering their next three games are against the New York Yankees, that is not such a stretch. Even if they scratch out a win against the Bronx Bombers, expect them to be in stride for the record by the end of June as 15 of their next 21 games are against opponents with a winning record.

With the recent resignation of manager Tony Pena and the current circulation of trade rumors regarding one of the few Royals' constants in recent memory, first baseman Mike Sweeney, hope is not on the way. As a matter of fact, optimism has long been ditched out the window and is occupying gutter space next to where future episodes of "Chaotic" are destined to land.

If they do decide to ship Mike Sweeney for prospects and future potential, they will obviously be losing their best bat. He leads the team in hits, doubles, home runs, runs batted in, batting average, and slugging percentage. He is the only Royals hitter with an average over .300 and the next closest hitter is 52 points behind. Sweeney is quite valuable to this lineup and trading him will aid their run at the deep-rooted benchmark.

Looking forward, the Royals will need help from similarly deflated teams if they plan to win more than 24% of their remaining games but they are in the wrong division for that task. In previous years they would camouflage amongst the equally destitute Cleveland Indians and Detroit Tigers and even though both teams have vastly underachieved in the first third of the season they are expected to recoil. That is sour news for the Royals, who also have to deal with the current best team in baseball, the Chicago White Sox, and the perennially competitive Minnesota Twins.

They have 53 games left against American League Central opponents, all of who are, or will be, vying for first place. With the four other teams ahead of them scrapping for wins and likely splitting a fair share amongst themselves, every team will look to gain ground against the whipping posts in blue and white. Good thing the Royals have only won 23% of the games inside their division so far.

The Royals should get a handi-cam and film all of their actions like Britney and Kevin to record the disaster they are turning out. On the other hand, maybe they should keep their lousy production out of sight.

Chaotic and the Kansas City Royals mix like Mondays and me.

"I have always wanted to travel across seas, like to Canada and stuff." — (allegedly) Britney Spears

Don't miss next week's installment of "I Hate Mondays," sponsored by CyberSportsbook.com, a great sportsbook for horse racing and casino action!

Posted by Dave Golokhov at 12:45 PM | Comments (1)

Review: Globetrotters in "Spinning the Globe"

There are a few common misconceptions about the renowned Harlem Globetrotters.

One stems from their name — the team actually originated in Chicago. A second is that portly promoter Abe Saperstein founded them — he in fact inherited the team from successive managers Dick Hudson and Tommy Brookins.

Thirdly, many fans think the Trotters were always and exclusively a clown unit that played stooge teams. Also untrue — the squad defeated the powerful Minneapolis Lakers twice during the late 1940s, and often bested College All-Stars and leading touring squads.

In "Spinning the Globe" (Amistad, 2005, 402 pages, $24.95 U.S.), Ben Green sets the record straight in a fashion as fun and fast-paced as the Globies themselves.

The story begins with a ballroom basketball team from Chicago's "Bronzeville," a young tight unit graduated from Wendell Phillips High. When former NFL'er Hudson sought to book the team out of state, he was steered to a 25-year-old sports entrepreneur who was born in London on July 4, 1902, Abe Saperstein.

Running the team while living downstairs in his parents' home, Saperstein conceived of gimmicks such as touting the Globetrotters as grads of college basketball powers, and associating the club with the African-American cultural capital, Harlem. He hired the best Chicago schoolboy talent, schmoozed sportswriters, booked gymnasiums, and drove the players to games in his car. Booking information and contact names were kept in his coat pockets, his mobile office.

Led by players such as "Runt" Pullins and big Inman Jackson, the Trotters became a strong midwestern unit, if not on the level of the great Harlem Renaissance Ballroom (Rens) team out of New York. Rens owner Robert Douglas spurned Saperstein's offers of a showdown, though Abe still billed his club as the premier African-American unit in the world. The teams met in the World Professional Tournament in Chicago in March of 1939, but the experienced Rens beat the ersatz Harlemites, 27-23.

Green's detalied account brings the tension of this and other games to life. A year later, the loss was avenged in a 40-39 nail-biter. Saperstein and his men stood atop the world, a world they introduced the game to via world tours which began in 1950. Their flashy brand of hoops and the patriotic uni's became the first basketball experience for many spectators in Mexico, Belgium, Portugal, Morocco, Singapore, and Colombia. They played in bullrings, on stages, and aboard aircraft carriers. Despite being barred from registering at many U.S. hotels due to Jim Crow laws, they met popes and kings, and their tours were sanctioned by the State Department.

"Spinning the Globe" is more than a sports history. Green profiles longtime team secretary Marie Linehan, who modernized Saperstein's archaic filing system (his pockets). There is in depth exploration of the characters that formed the legacy — Pullins, Inman Jackson, the dramatic "Goose" Tatum, and the ageless Marques Haynes, the latter to whom all streetballers are indebted.

The evolution of the business and the brand are examined, with opponents, media, and former Trotters quoted and referenced. Players sound off on Saperstein's business practices, Wilt Chamberlain's stint with the club, and the dubious role of playing the court clown to the largely white audiences the domestic version of the team entertained (in their peak years, international and domestic units played separate tours). It is not all laughter, however, as players age, feud, and part with Saperstein on bitter terms. Tatum's career was particularly bittersweet, yet he was Satchel Paige, Connie Hawkins, and Johnny Carson rolled into one.

This read will enlighten even the most savvy hoops fans, and shined a well-deserved spotlight on those who not only paved the way for the style of gave we take for granted today, but helped keep the fledging NBA alive by playing preliminary games before teams such as Sheboygan, Rochester, and Fort Wayne would take the court. After all, who among us can ever forget the first time they laid eyes on the magicians in red, white, and blue?

Posted by Bijan C. Bayne at 12:35 PM | Comments (0)

May 28, 2005

The Frugal Empire Strikes Back

After reading a recent article by Chicago Sun-Times' columnist Jay Mariotti and visiting numerous Chicago sports-themed blogs and chat rooms, we all had the same consensus.

The notoriously-cheap Chicago White Sox and Chicago Bulls owner Jerry Reinsdorf better compensate his coach and manager or lose what little fan base his teams have.

Reinsdorf runs his teams, in the exact opposite manner that George Steinbrenner, owner of the New York Yankees, rules his.

You've heard of the Evil Empire?

Now, enter the Frugal Empire.

Reinsdorf had already screwed Chicago back in 1998. He has no credibility left.

The City of Big Shoulders can forgive that kind of transgression only once.

In 1998, Phil Jackson and the Michael Jordan-led Chicago Bulls won their final championship together. At the time, the general manager of the Chicago Bulls was Jerry Krause, while Reinsdorf loomed over all, as if he were the Patron Saint of Cheapskates.

Michael Jordan, Scottie Pippen, Dennis Rodman, and Jackson all agreed that they should keep this juggernaut together until they lose. But, the "Brothers Jerry" disagreed, not wanting to shell out the cash to keep them together for one more run.

Jackson retired, Jordan retired, Rodman retired and Pippen was traded to the Houston Rockets.

Suddenly, the House that Michael built was missing the man that built it.

You'll note that Reinsdorf bought the team for less than $20 million midway through Jordan's rookie season. Jordan, both on and off the court, propelled the team's worth to well over $200 million.

Jerry is a shrewd businessman, but a terrible owner when it comes to making decisions that affect the fans.

Now, we have come to the end of a surpise NBA season and an equally shocking start to the MLB.

Both, of which, likely will have the Frugal Emperor up in arms.

Why?

Because the unsuspecting success of his franchises, in the same year, will cost him money.

The question is will he pay it?

I say, yes.

Why?

Because the unsuspecting success of his franchises, in the same year, will make him money.

The Emperor figured by having a basketball team full of rookies and sophomores, they wouldn't win.

The Emperor figured he would remove all the power (along with their salaries) from the White Sox, coupled with the decision not to offer salary arbitration to Magglio Ordonez, the South Siders wouldn't win.

Think again, Jerry.

The Bulls reached the postseason for the first time since 1998 and the White Sox, who not only have the best record in the Majors, but, arguably, may also have the best pitching staff in the league.

The reason for both teams success is in the coaching.

Scott Skiles, nominated for Coach of the Year, has guided his team to a playoff berth, developed Ben Gordon, the Sixth Man of the Year winner (and was close to winning Rookie of the Year), has a fiery, old-school method of coaching that works well with the Baby Bulls.

Skiles is entering his option year and can bolt to another team next season, if he so desires.

The Frugal Emperor had better pay him.

Ozzie Guillen, is currently managing the best team in the majors, developed a pitcher who went 8-0 to start the season, in Jon Garland. Mark Buehrle and Freddy Garcia round out a solid staff and have a closer, Dustin Hermanson, who hasn't allowed an earned run all season.

Guillen, who started the season making hypocritical statements about former Sox outfielder Magglio Ordonez, along with his propensity to use profanity in every other word in his press conferences, is also fiery and old-school.

Even though HypcrOzzie has shown no signs of mincing his words, there is no disputing that he is what the South Siders sorely needed, not only to dethrone their division rival Minnesota Twins, but to finally upstage the perennial "Lovable Losers."

The Chicago Cubs.

The buzz in the Windy City about their baseball teams has traveled from the intersection of Addison and Waveland to 35th Street and Rhodes.

HypcrOzzie, who, after this season will then enter his option year, which means, if the Frugal Empire doesn't exercise it, he will take his loathing for parking at McDonald's elsewhere.

If sanity still reigns in the Frugal Empire, the Emperor will bring HypcrOzzie back, mouth and all.

Still, it would be remiss not to credit the real engineers of the Frugal Empire's current success.

The Emperor's general managers John Paxson and Kenny Williams.

Paxson not only convinced the Emperor to waive and pay off the contracts of former Bulls' players Eddie Robinson and Scottie Pippen, but is adamant about keeping his young team together, intact and that includes retaining Skiles.

Paxson will succeed with the latter, whether the Emperor likes it or not.

Williams, who has no such influence over the Frugal Emperor to spend money, has to work with the little cash he is allotted.

Still, Williams has made the right trades and free agent pickups.

Although it seemed like a bad idea at first, Williams' philosophy of switching a team geared around power to adopt one of speed and defense, turned out to be a successful venture.

We don't expect the Frugal Empire to ever become the Evil Empire, but at least make sure the Generals are satisfied, lest they defect to the enemy.

Posted by Damian Greene at 3:50 PM | Comments (0)

WNBA Action? Affirmative

Affirmative action is one of those tricky concepts that doesn't trade in absolutes, but rather demands nuance.

(Now, one man's nuance is another man's flip-flop. I'm pretty sure there's a former presidential candidate who could speak for a few hours about that. A few ... very ... mono ... tone ... hours.)

I've always viewed affirmative action as a guarantee of opportunity and consideration, rather than of selection or employment. I think, when properly applied, it helps level the playing field for all professional or academic candidates; in theory, lessening the chance that racism or sexism would be the prevailing factor in a final decision between two or three people.

Others view affirmative action as a government-mandated quota system, and in some unfortunate cases that's exactly what it is. Take the NFL's "Rooney Rule," the 2002 minority-coaching bylaw that has ushered in an era of tokenism in the coaching interview process. Like in 2003, when Detroit Lions team president Matt Millen wanted to hire San Francisco 49ers coach Steve Mariucci to fill his head coaching vacancy. Everyone in the NFL knew this was the case, and five minority-coaching candidates actually turned down the chance to interview with the Lions because it was Mariucci's job.

Nevertheless, Detroit was slapped with a $200,000 fine — the first under the Rooney Rule — for not formally interviewing a minority coach for the opening. And the same thing would have happened to Miami in 2004 if it didn't bring in Art Shell for coffee and donuts before hiring Nick Saban.

To me, the Rooney Rule always missed the root of the problem, if a lack of black head coaches could be perceived as such. Like the fact that the NCAA has a minority-coaching dearth that makes the NFL's coaching ranks look like a Nelly video by comparison. Or the fact that as the NFL's "old guard" leaves the front office, they'll naturally take their glass ceiling with them.

I don't believe the Rooney Rule was necessary in the NFL; I've always felt it had more to do with appeasing Jesse Jackson and Johnny Cochran than affecting change.

But the WNBA could sure use it.

Of the league's 14 teams (13 plus Chicago, the newest franchise), the WNBA's coaching ranks can be separated into four distinct categories:

Old White Guys: Mike Thibault (Connecticut), Bill Laimbeer (Detroit), Van Chancellor (Houston), Brian Winters (Indiana), Dan Hughes (San Antonio), John Whisenant (Sacramento), Richie Adubato (Washington), Dave Cowens (Chicago).

Old Non-White Guys: Henry Bibby (L.A.)

Old White Women: Anne Donovan (Seattle), Pat Coyle (New York)

Young White Women: Carrie Graf (Phoenix), Suzie McConnell Serio (Minnesota)

Black Women: Trudi Lacey (Charlotte)

So in a 14-team professional women's basketball league, five teams have female coaches and only one of those coaches is an African-American.

You'd think this would be a significant point of concern in a league that's, you know, populated by African-American women. That was, after all, one of the main catalysts behind the Rooney Rule: that the coaching ranks should look more like the player rosters.

Not to worry, my fellow WNBA fans (man, I never knew I could get my tongue so deep into my cheek before). The Association is making strides to correct this injustice — only not on the sidelines.

This week, Sheila Johnson — who co-founded Black Entertainment Television in 1980, and spent 17 years as its executive vice president — was named the President, Managing Partner, and Governor of the Washington Mystics, and a part-owner of the Washington Capitals and Wizards. On the Mystics' official website came this unintentionally hilarious note:

"Johnson is believed to be the first African-American woman to be an owner/partner in three professional sports franchises."

Are you telling me that the Elias Sports Bureau can tell me how many home runs have been hit by left-handed catchers at Wrigley Field on Tuesday afternoons since 1948, but it can't figure out how many sisters have co-owned three teams at the same time?!

Johnson is as qualified as anyone to join the Millionaires Social Club that is professional sports ownership. But it's absolutely laughable that her taking over the Mystics is seen as some sort of historical benchmark for minorities in sports — like she's Jacqueline Robinson or something.

"We think it's past time for an African-American woman to own a WNBA team," said Wizards owner Abe Pollin, who should really ask HBO if it's ever going to bring back his show "Tales From the Crypt," because it was terrific.

"To have an African-American woman to drive it forward is exactly what this league needed," said Capitals owner Ted Leonsis, who obviously has nothing else better to do.

And then there was Johnson herself, who imagined buying the Mystics would send ripples throughout the sports world. "I hope that this is a signal that a woman, and an African-American woman, is part of this whole scene of sports."

Give me a break. Coaches and players can cry racism and sexism, because their jobs are in the hands of people who might dick them over because of their race or their sex. But owners? Are you telling me that if a black woman knocked on Gary Bettman's door and offered $100 million for the Mighty Ducks of Anaheim, he'd turn her down because she'd stick out at the Board of Governors' meetings? Are you telling me that if Oprah wanted to buy the Chicago Bears, the NFL is telling her to go read a book instead?

Money talks, and these leagues are willing to listen to anyone that has it.

Was there ever an outcry that the WNBA's ownership simply wasn't diverse enough? I don't recall that crisis ever rising to the level of, say, having one African-American head coach in a 14-team women's basketball league.

But then again, that doesn't appear to be a crisis either.

What really irks me about this Sheila Johnson bit is the implied racism and sexism in her exultation. Why, exactly, is it "past time for an African-American woman to own a WNBA team," Mr. Pollin? Because women should dominate the ownership ranks of a women's league? Or because since the majority of the players are African-American, the ownership should reflect that, too?

Where are the people fighting to get more Latino women involved in owning WNBA teams? Or Chinese women? Or Chinese men? As far as I can tell, these groups are missing from the table just as much as African-American women were.

If the WNBA really wanted to make a statement, really wanted to make waves, really wanted to set a precedent that would have the sports world reeling, here's what it needs to do:

Allow a lesbian to own one of the franchises.

And not just any lesbian. A real famous one. Melissa Etheridge, or Ellen Degeneres, or Anne Heche (although I guess she's just be a part owner).

A significant chunk of the WNBA's core audience is gay and female. Some of the players may also be (gasp!) homosexuals. It's a natural move for the league, and I look forward to the day Abe Pollin stands up and says: "It's past time for lesbian to own a WNBA team."

But I guess we have to wait for GLBET to hit cable, first...

Greg Wyshynski is also a weekly columnist for SportsFan Magazine. His columns appear every Saturday on Sports Central. You can e-mail Greg at [email protected].

Posted by Greg Wyshynski at 3:29 PM | Comments (6)

May 27, 2005

Daunte's Peak: Football's Forgotten Man

He was born in prison to a teenage mother serving time for armed robbery, and was raised the last of 15 foster children. At a no-name college program, he set an NCAA single-season record for passer efficiency, but three quarterbacks were drafted ahead of him in 1999.

At 6-4 and 264 pounds, he can run 40 yards in 4.6 seconds and has a 36-inch vertical jump. He is the most gifted athlete football has witnessed since Barry Sanders. His career passer rating of 93.2 is third-best in league history, behind only Kurt Warner and Steve Young, and in the 2004-2005 regular season, he gained more yards than any quarterback the NFL has seen.

Yet, at 28, Daunte Culpepper's career is over — or never was. So it seemed when he sat on the Pro Bowl bench in Hawaii as the crowd clamored for Michael Vick and Peyton Manning. So it seemed when Vikings owner Red McCombs announced he would sell the team that plays in the league's weakest market.

So it seemed when Randy Moss, the receiver to whom Culpepper apparently owes all success, was traded to Oakland for a disappointing young linebacker and a first-round draft pick.

At least, that's the scoop you'll hear from most major media outlets, if they mention Culpepper at all.

The troubling news is there's truth to that story — if Culpepper hasn't done enough to earn our adulation already, what more can he expect?

In just 73 starts, he's passed for 18,598 yards and 129 touchdowns and added an additional 2,329 yards and 28 touchdowns on the ground — 287 yards and two scores per game. His 2004 passer rating of 110.9 is fourth-best ever, and his career completion percentage of 64.4 ranks second only to Kurt Warner's in league annals.

Still, names like Ben Roethlisberger, Eli Manning, and Chad Pennington are more likely to prick the ears of casual listeners. Ask fans to name even the best black quarterbacks in the league, and McNabb, Vick, and McNair will likely precede him.

How did Culpepper become the NFL's pariah? Where did the league go wrong in promoting him?

Simple — Daunte missed the window. When Culpepper hit the scene in 2000, the NFL front office already had two poster-boy quarterbacks in Kurt Warner and Brett Favre. When the Rams receded, the league determined that the age of offense was coming to an end and quickly adopted Ray Lewis as the new face of the NFL.

Old habits, however, are hard to break. A league in love with quarterbacks found its windfall of windfalls when Dan Reeves made Michael Vick the first pick in the 2001 draft. Vick would play in one of the league's strongest markets and was eminently marketable to the Madden video game generation. Paul Tagliabue had his messiah.

Through 2005, the league has clung to that decision, despite Vick's shortcomings. And, sadly, in a sport where the race issue is supposed to be a non-issue, apparently we can have only so many black quarterbacks sharing the spotlight. Thanks to Donovan McNabb's successes and Vick's popularity, Culpepper so far has been the odd man out.

He's also been a victim of circumstance and misperception. The NFL likes players who play for winning teams, and the Vikings have struggled in this regard. Through his five seasons at quarterback, Culpepper has led the NFC's most productive offense, yet Minnesota's defense has never finished in the top two-thirds of the league during that same period.

More tragically, Culpepper has been pigeonholed as the guy who throws the ball to Randy Moss. Moss, an astonishing talent, has plagued the locker room during Culpepper's tenure, and the recent Oakland trade was an attempt to end this pandemic, despite myriad press releases to the contrary.

Culpepper is now the undisputed leader of a team without an owner in a market the NFL has all but forsaken. For Daunte, it's a good fit.

The "Culpepper Roll" Gathers No Moss?

The line around the league is — Culpepper's success slumps minus Moss' production. This wart, of course, is entirely genuine. After all, what quarterback wouldn't take a hit without his primary receiver?

If you crunch the numbers for 2004, subtracting The Freak's influence from Daunte's season totals, you'll find that Culpepper threw for 3,950 yards and 26 touchdowns without Moss — a significant loss, though still better than all but six quarterbacks in the league. However, run the same scenario for other top NFL passers and you'll uncover similar results.

Without Marvin Harrison, Peyton Manning logged 3,444 yards and 35 touchdowns — and that's with Reggie Wayne and Brandon Stokley still in the fold. Deduct Javon Walker's production from Brett Favre's totals, and Favre only threw for 2,706 yards and 18 touchdowns. Donovan McNabb, minus Terrell Owens, accounted for only 2,675 yards and 17 touchdowns through the air.

The bottom line — saying that a quarterback's numbers will suffer without his primary receiver is like saying that Freddie Mitchell will put his foot in his mouth. It's a given. Unless you're the Atlanta Falcons or the Kansas City Chiefs, another receiver will step up to fill that 1,000-yard void.

Even if Moss' primary successor only hauls in 700 yards and 5 touchdowns, Culpepper will still break the 4,000-yard, 30-touchdown mark in 2005.

In three games without Moss last season, Culpepper posted some of his best numbers of the year, completing 71.5 percent of his passes for 765 yards and seven scores, with a passer rating of 112.2. During that period, the Vikings offense averaged 27 points per game.

In fact, given the uncertainty of changing conferences and offensive schemes, it's much more likely that Moss will suffer without Culpepper, rather than the contrary. After all, despite the media hype, Kerry Collins finished the 2004-2005 season with a 74.8 passer rating and only 6.81 yards per attempt.

Only in Your Fantasies...

Peyton Manning is the best quarterback in fantasy football, and he should be the first overall selection in your draft, even though running backs are still king. Yet, even without Moss, Daunte Culpepper is easily the second-best fantasy QB and is worth taking later in the first round.

However, don't buy into the Nate Burleson and Troy Williamson hype. Both of these guys have a lot to prove before they're worth selecting in the mid-rounds of your draft. If Burleson slips, he's worth a shot later on, but there is better value to be had at receiver around the league.

Finally, Randy Moss is a great player, but don't get suckered by the media hype surrounding his move to Oakland. The Raiders offense is still insipid, Lamont Jordan is not the answer at running back, and Moss will struggle to match the number of touchdowns to which his owners are accustomed. If you're forced to decide between Moss and guys like Hines Ward, Chad Johnson, and Joe Horn, stick with the known quantities.

Posted by Jason Kendall at 9:07 PM | Comments (5)

Sports Q&A: Questionable Records

Roger from Vienna, Georgia writes, "Steroids in sports used to be limited to track and field. Has that sport cleaned up its act?"

Track and field was the original gangster as far as steroid culprits in the world of sports go. Steroid testing has been in place in track and field for many years. Is it effective? Yes. Is it foolproof? Not by any means. Track and field athletes probably face more drug tests than athletes in any other sport.

Consequently, they likely know more of the tricks to beat a drug test than athletes in any other sport. You can bet that baseball players have learned a thing or two about masking agents from someone involved in track and field, whether that be an athlete, a coach, an official, or someone actually involved in the drug testing.

Just as in baseball, it is obvious in track and field when an athlete's performance is enhanced by steroids. Take a look at the women's world record holders in the four shortest events. Florence Griffith-Joyner holds the records in the 100 and 200 meter dashes, in times that haven't been approached since she set the standard at the 1988 Olympics Trials. The record holders in the 400- and 800-meter runs, Marita Koch of the former East Germany and Jarmila Kratochvilova of Czechoslovakia, clocked records that are 19- and 21-years-old, respectively.

What do all these records have in common, besides the fact that they are held by women with the musculature of a well-built man? Well, they were all set in the early to mid-'80s, when drug testing was at its least absolute. There is no telling how many track and field records are tainted, but these four stand out as very questionable. If you are old enough to remember what these three women looked like, you know that they were unnaturally muscular, not just for a woman, but for a human.

Let's forget about these women's muscles for a moment and take a look at the records themselves. The most recent record is Flo Jo's near 17-year-old record in the 200. As she did in the 200, Flo Jo set the world record twice in each event in 1988. In the 100, she broke Evelyn Ashford's four-year-old record; in the 200, she broke Ashford's two-year-old record. In the 400, Koch broke Kratochvilova's record in the 400 that had stood for two years. Kratochvilova's mark of 1:53.28 broke a three-year-old world record.

The point is, those record setting performances were the end of a natural progression world best performances, in which a new record was set every two to four years. As years go by and those records easily stand, the credibility of those records suffers. The natural progression of unenhanced human achievement would seem to dictate a new world record every two to four years, as was the case before these four records were set. These women set times so far out there that no one has approached them in the 17-20 years since they were set.

Of course, I could be totally wrong and these women may have just had incredible days or years. Flo Jo had her record-breaking year of 1988 and basically did nothing else. Mysteriously, she died of a heart condition in 1998. Kratochvilova set the 800m record once and never broke it. Koch's achievements lean more toward the legitimate side — she broke the 400m record seven times from 1978 to 1985. That, however, could also be suspicion itself that she used steroids. Not only can steroids enhance speed and power, they're also known to increase recuperative powers, which could explain Koch's longevity. So, maybe it was good days, but when you have days that good, that often, questions arise.

The "good day" argument could be used to support two titanic men's records that stood for almost two decades. Lee Evans set the 400-meter record of 43.86 in Mexico City, while Bob Beamon's incredible leap of 29' 2 1/2", also in Mexico City, shattered the old long jump mark by almost two feet. Evans record stood for almost 20 years, until Butch Reynolds 43.29 set the new standard. Beamon's mark remained in the record books until Mike Powell's leap of 29' 4" in Tokyo in 1991.

Evans' and Beamon's records were set in Olympic competition, but more importantly, in the 7,300+ feet altitude of the Mexican capital. In these two cases of records being set 20 years out of reach, the altitude seems to be the major factor. In fact, at the Mexico City games, world records were set in the mens' 100m, 200m, 400m hurdles, and triple jump, as well.

But the coincidences of the aforementioned women's records speak volumes: strangely muscular women, records set in the '80s, when steroids were widespread as ever in track, and records set out of reach. Western Bloc countries like East German and Czechoslovakia, were notorious for drug usage, and their athletic governing bodies were notorious for lack of enforcement. Did anyone ever accuse these women of steroids? Probably, but maybe the accusers didn't have the power to get anything done, like Carl Lewis.

Lewis had claimed for years that Canada's Ben Johnson abused steroids. In 1988 at the Seoul Olympics, Johnson shaved an incredible .14 off of the legitimate world record and ran a 9.79 in the 100-meter finals. Lewis ran the fastest time of his career, a 9.92, and lost by .13.

Lewis reiterated his point that no one should cleanly be able to run that time (by comparison, it took 14 years for Johnson's time to fall; Tim Montgomery ran a 9.78 in 2002). Officials finally caught Johnson in a positive drug test and he was stripped of his medal and time. Obviously, Johnson had passed previous drug tests, so why did it take so long to catch him? Lewis' adamant accusations helped bring the hammer down, but Johnson still got away with it for some time.

The bottom line is this: steroids are basically in all sports, and have been in track and field for some time. Drug tests don't always catch the culprits, especially when the culprits have help in sidetracking a potentially damaging drug test. Just like in baseball, players can lie and say they don't use steroids, but their numbers say otherwise. Roger Maris' record of 61 homers stood for 37 years. He broke Babe Ruth's record by one, 34 years after Ruth set the mark. Mark McGwire shattered Maris' record with 70, then Barry Bonds broke that with 73. Guess what Bonds and McGwire have in common? Allegations of steroids. Baseball isn't so different from track and field, after all.

But, to answer the question, track and field has cleaned up the steroid issue. But a "cleaned up" steroid issue does not mean they have disappeared. Not by a long shot. Not when athletes like Marion Jones, once a threat to Flo Jo's records, and Greece's Kostas Kenteris, the 2000 Olympic 100m and 200m champion, are being busted for steroid use. Steroid use can only be limited; it will never be totally abolished. Not as long as dishonest, unethical athletes choose to use them illegally.

Ryne from Champaigne, Illinois asks, "What's going to happen next season with Shaquille O'Neal's contract?"

This year, Shaq is being paid $29,464,288, and probably will ask for $30 million a year for three years. I think the Heat will sign him at any cost. You could put Shaq on any team and automatically, that team is a contender for the NBA title. I think Shaq still has 2-4 good years left in him — good enough to make whichever team has him a favorite. So, I don't see the Heat letting him go regardless of the situation.

Dwayne Wade is a great player, but I don't think he'd be having this kind of year without Shaq. It's like in baseball when you have a strong batter hitting behind another strong batter in the lineup. The pitchers have to pitch to the first guy because they know the second guy is equally dangerous. Shaq is hitting behind Wade, basically protecting him. Teams have to commit two players to defend Shaq; this opens things up for Wade. Not only is Wade benefiting from Shaq, so is Damon Jones. He's probably never seen this many open threes, mainly because of Shaq, and also because of Wade.

As far as letting Shaq go and rebuilding with all that money, I think that's easier said than done. Look at the Lakers. No Shaq, no playoffs. Shaq is one of a kind. Just his sheer size makes him irreplaceable. If the Heat chose to keep him, I think, at any time down the road, they can easily find a trade offer. The Heat can win the NBA title, resign Shaq, and at some point in the future, trade Shaq. It's inevitable that some team will offer way too much for an aging Shag.

Rebuilding requires time. Sure, the Pistons won the NBA title last year, but the winning combination was assembled over several years. The same can be said for Michael Jordan's Bulls. Without the supporting cast developed over the early years of Jordan's career, the Bulls would never have been able to win six titles, much less vanquish the Pistons, the east powerhouse at the time.

Unlike these two situations, the presence of Shaq transforms a team into an instant favorite, no assembly required. Shaq's presence makes the supporting cast easier and a lot quicker to build. The Heat have options: let Shaq go, rebuild, and maybe contend for the title in 2-3 years. Or, re-sign Shaq and continue to contend, and possibly win, one or two titles.

Shaq's numbers are down, but he doesn't have to do as much with Wade on his side. Not only can Wade score at will, he is an excellent passer, and he and Shaq play an awesome two-man game. Kobe Bryant had no interest in distribution of the ball — it was all about Kobe. Wade does what the team needs; with Shaq dealing with some injuries, Wade has picked up the slack. The Heat will have a lot of rest before the conference finals. This will allow Shaq to somewhat recover. I think you can expect Shaq's numbers to increase in the conference finals, and the Finals if the Heat go that far.

In short, I think the Heat will keep Shaq, then sucker some desperate team into a trade in 2-3 years, maybe sooner. God made the Trailblazers and Clippers for that very reason. For now, Shaq's got enough in him for a title or two.

Get Your Questions Answered!

Do you have a question or comment? Need a weapon of mass destruction planted in a foreign country? Have a kidney you're willing to part with? Need an alternate use for that newly acquired college diploma? Then send your question/political affiliation/blood type/college major to [email protected]. You may get the answer you're looking for in the next column on Friday, June 10th.

Posted by Jeffrey Boswell at 9:00 PM | Comments (0)

May 26, 2005

Why Some Opinions Have No Place in Sports

Have you ever been reading a sports article and suddenly had to throw it down, as your view on its premise was so grossly contrasting with the author's you simply could take no more? Have you ever had to avert your eyes from the monitor as an online column's contents were so inane and unrealistic that even a disconcerted sigh or well-placed profanity couldn't aptly describe the anguish it caused?

Here's to hoping this isn't one of those articles.

Sports writing and reporting is, by nature, chock full of hyperbole, innuendo, and exaggerated reality. As a sports journalist, you know and accept this and even occasionally trifle in some literary grandeur of your own. After all, it would make no sense for any self-respecting sports pundit to preface his or her rants with a disclaimer pointing out the utter lack of big-picture importance associated to the subject with which he or she best relates (picture a Sports Illustrated cover shot of Michael Jordan's famous 1998 championship-winning jump shot with the caption "The Man, The Shot, Who Cares?" emblazoned upon it ... tends to take away from the story's impact now, doesn't it?).

Opinion in sports has long been a very real part of the apparatus. Heck, if it wasn't for opinion, I'd have nothing to write about and where would I be then? There are some opinions, however, that are better kept as introspective thoughts than as publicly exposed indignations. The root of the problem is, as usual, raw human nature. But there are other contributing factors — arrogance, ignorance, or poor judgment — that can further infuriate even the most avid fan.

If you have an organization which holds as its primary objective objectivity itself, then eventually the subjectivity that is very much a part of human nature will creep into the equation. Inevitably, the agendas of those atop the organization become more and more a part of the group's mission. This is the modus operandi for the United Nations, the New York Times, and any government-affiliated entity, and it even rings true within any of your preferred outlets for sports information.

For instance, in Houston, where my family and I currently make our daily bread, the Rockets, Astros, and Texans are king. Local media outlets, quite predictably, tend to look at all things sports through the eyes of these teams. This becomes the norm and the status quo remains as information is passed from the beat writers through the anchors to the public.

Inevitably, though, friendships are made and allegiances grow within the local sports scene. As these relationships blossom, a decided bias is added to the stories ... an angle that reflects, quite directly, an opinion or belief of one of the involved parties. This bias eliminates the aforementioned objectivity and, quite frankly, can turn a person against any player, team or institution. Nobody likes to be presented something as truth that is not backed up by any factual information — human nature tends to put up the defenses in these instances and generally a person creates an equally unrealistic view toward the opposite extreme (i.e. "Jeff Bagwell is the greatest first baseman to ever live" might be countered with "Jeff Bagwell is the worst first baseman to ever live," both of which are gross misstatements).

This may explain my extreme prejudice against the Atlanta Hawks, Houston Astros, and Dallas Cowboys, each of my dear brother's favorite sports teams, but that's a story for another day.

While there is no place for this atop our media outlets, it is what it is and we accept it, on the whole. Local media is about local teams, local traditions, and local interests, so you have to accept that if you live in Los Angeles, you're going to be inundated with Laker-mania. Thus, these media outlets get a free pass this time around — their ignorance to the real point of their duties notwithstanding.

The depth of ignorance accompanying any exaggerated claim of brilliance varies. As I've written previously in this very web space, Dan Dierdorf is a famed for his over-valuing of talent during his Sunday afternoon telecasts of the NFL. It seems anyone and everyone that makes an above-average play is deigned to be a Hall-of-Famer in waiting. This, though, is a rather innocuous example of my storyline, as Dan means no harm and is only trying to fill airtime with what little independent thought he can muster. This is, after all, a man who is on record saying, "If I do the right thing right, I'm going to succeed." Thanks, Captain Obvious.

You have the more unsettling infractions. These are the ordinary folks who just plain get carried away by their pride and passion and turn off that filter that usually resides between the brain and the mouth whenever talking about sports. For lack of a better term, I generally call these individuals "Cowboy fans" — but so as not to cause too much anti-me outrage in the world of the Big Silver Star (I do live in Texas, after all), let's just say these are unusually overzealous fans.

This type will call the radio talk shows and tell us all how there is an anti-Dallas bias with the Pro Football Hall of Fame voting, how they can't believe how underrated Tom Brady is as a quarterback or how Kobe Bryant is clearly the greatest basketball player of our generation. Now, as aggravating as it is for me to cruise down the traffic-saturated Houston freeways listening to Bernie Beergut talk about how Morgan Ensberg doesn't get the credit he deserves as the best third bagger in baseball, this type of sports commentary is certainly excusable. After all, even I'm guilty of occasionally putting a positive and vastly unrealistic spin on my beloved Cubbies' chances for that elusive championship pennant.

The real egregious perpetrators of the "Fraud Squad," and those to whom my distaste is most genuinely directed, are those supposedly neutral twits on the major cable channels (ESPN, NFL on CBS and FOX, NBA on TNT and ABC, etc ... ) that, despite their contractual obligation to report fair and balanced sports stories, can't help but interject their own noxious opinions.

There was Bill Walton and his recent public cry for replacing a coach under contract (Jeff Van Gundy) with a dear friend and former teacher to his favorite son (Phil Jackson, who coached, and actually gave a little playing time, to Bill's son Luke). This is not only a pathetic display of grandstanding that is clearly unethical, it should get Walton's overbearing and tree-hugging self a pink slip.

There's the often inflammatory Steven A. Smith and his assertion that Larry Bird was overrated because of his blatant whiteness (he actually stated that Juwan Howard — JUWAN freaking HOWARD — is every bit the player Larry Legend was). I don't even know where to begin with this one, but for starters, Larry Bird was arguably the most dominant small forward/power forward hybrid to ever play the game. Juwon Howard is a career underachiever who, while very solid, was never a team's first option, most notably in "crunch time," which, coincidentally, is when Bird thrived. Not to mention reversing such innuendo cost folks like Jimmy the Greek and Rush Limbaugh their jobs.

There's the unique Dick Vitale and his never-ending mission to afford NCAA coaches much more credit than they deserve. Dicky V never met a college hoops coach he didn't like, and will tell you just that every chance he gets. I swear, he must publicly trade Mike Krzyzewski stock and likely is majority owner. Seriously, we all appreciate the efforts of these coaches to guide our nation's youthful athletes — but they know this because they get paid large sums of money to do what they do. No need to further canonize them or to bestow sainthood upon them. Without Duke's rep, Coach K is just another good teacher toiling in anonymity. Appreciate him for that, not for his knack for recruiting kids who can nail fade-away jumpers with a hand in their face.

I could spend another four hundred lines or so disproving many of our favorites, but I think you get the point. Sport isn't supposed to be about the opinions of those men who talk about them. Sport is about competition and passion and effort. We are taught to be humble in victory and gracious in defeat. We learn the importance of fundamentals, teamwork and determination.

Bill, Steven, Dick, et al — we don't really need your opinions. We know that Phil Jackson can coach superstars, we know that Larry Bird was white, and we know that Coach K is a fine human. I'm not "hatin'", I just want my unbiased sports coverage back. Not to say there is no place for these bits of personal interjection from our nation's sports' experts — it's just that they shouldn't be jammed down my ears when all I really want to see is the game. Is there commentary on Mariska Hargitay's new hairdo as you watch the latest "Law and Order: SVU"? Nope. Then why do I need to hear about Charles Barkley's disturbing penchant for Tim Duncan during the NBA Finals?

There is a saying about opinions — they are much like one of the body's more fallible body parts — everyone has one, but nobody wants to hear yours.

In my opinion, those are words to live by.

Posted by Matt Thomas at 5:10 PM | Comments (0)

Does Greed Succeed?

This NFL offseason has showcased a number of the negative aspects of professional sports. Don't get me wrong. I love pro football and a few bad apples don't spoil it for me. But it is kind of depressing to think about some of the stupid antics athletes can pull off, seemingly with a straight face.

Topping everyone's stupid list is probably Kellen Winslow. You know the player who was supposed to revolutionize the tight end position, but who has barely worn his Cleveland Brown's jersey after suffering a broken leg in his first season and now having apparently torn his ACL goofing around on his crotch rocket motorcycle. The selfishness and immaturity of this kid seem limitless.

First, after being drafted as the number one pick in the 2004 NFL draft, he holds out for a cajillion dollars ($9.4 million in signing and option bonuses) only to break his leg during the second game of the season. In his defense, that injury happened because he was aggressive on an onside kick attempt. But still, you would have thought that experience would have humbled him a little and made him focus even more relentlessly on getting back on the field. Life is fragile focus on the important things, right? Wrong.

Against the express provisions in his contract, Mister Brilliant buys a dangerous motorcycle and tries to learn to ride it in a community college parking lot. Winslow is apparently incapable of handling this new toy he bought with his millions and he dumps it on a curb and has to spend a couple of days in a hospital. Nice. Now it looks like the Browns — who need all the help they can get — will be without the services of Mr. Winslow for the entire 2005 season.

Now I realize I am not the first person to raise this question, but what in the blazes is going through the minds of these people? Is it not enough that you are getting paid ungodly amounts of money to play a game? Is it not enough that you are living a dream? Must these people push everything to the limit — risk the golden goose for a few more eggs?

I have not done any scientific research, but anecdotal evidence seems to indicate to me that holding out and goofing off doesn't pay in the long run. I am reminded of Ki-Jana Carter. Remember the powerful Penn State running back? After a great college career, Carter was selected as the first player in the draft by the Cincinnati Bengals. Now I know that being drafted by the Bengals is not every player's dream, but being the number one pick in the draft and playing in the NFL ought to mean something, regardless of the team.

But Carter holds out, then blows out his knee, and has struggled from that point on just to stay in the league. He went from potential superstar to playing on four teams, missing two of the last eight seasons, and being put on the injured reserve list four times. His career stats are what he probably expected to gain in a season: 1,127 yards in 57 games (only 14 starts). He was cut by the Saints last year.

Now I realize that holding out didn't necessarily cause his injuries in a direct way, but it seems karmic somehow. The football gods don't seem to appreciate rookie holdouts. Again, my question is why? Don't these young kids see the fragile nature of professional sports? Don't they see how lucky they are to be where they are? Don't they have the good sense not to jeopardize things in a league without guaranteed contracts?

Kellen Winslow seems to be on the Ki-Jana Carter path. He went from being hero to zero in short order. He has literally risked everything for what? A ride on a motorcycle? This is exactly why people wondered about Winslow in the first place. Sure, he has a former superstar as a father, but his attitude in college was highly suspect and maturity has never been his strong suit. Maybe Winslow will prove me wrong, but it is looking like we can add this episode to a growing list of bad draft decisions by the Cleveland Browns.

Speaking of selfish people with issues, what is it with players refusing to honor their contracts? Sports Central's Jeff Moore had a good article on this issue last week. Terrell Owen, Javon Walker, and even Anquan Boldin are all looking to renegotiate their contracts and are willing to skip mini-camps and workouts, not to mention disrupt their team and sow dissension, in order to apply leverage.

Forget for a moment whether any of these players are technically undervalued in the bizzaro world of pro sports contracts — what really bugs me is the lack of class and loyalty involved. You may say that the teams and the league don't show loyalty, but that is beside the point. Either players have ethical standards or they don't — either they care about their respective teams, or they don't.

Terrell Owens' current contract is a seven-year, $49 million deal. Plus, Owens is playing on a Super Bowl-caliber team. What in the @#$%! does he want? Could someone please explain why in the blazes this is not good enough? It strikes me as absolutely absurd that having reached a level of success and monetary reward that few even dream of; that having been given a break by the league to play for one of the better teams in the league; that having been blessed beyond his due given his well-documented attitude issues; that Owens finds it appropriate to pull this stunt. Is it really worth the extra money to potentially undermine a run for a world championship?

It is exactly this type of behavior that gives pro athletes a bad name. Owens is the most flagrant, but Walker and Boldin are in the same boat. Why is it so hard to have a little gratitude? Why is it so hard to see that you are one of the lucky ones? I understand that this is a business, but that changes nothing. Work hard, honor your commitments, and things will work out.

A good example of how to act as a professional is playing itself out in a rather weird way in the career of Jerry Rice. Few would argue that Rice is one of, if not the best receiver in the history of the game. Sadly, he could not finish out his career in San Francisco so he went off to the Raiders to prove he still had what it takes. And I think he showed in Oakland that Rice in his declining years is still a decent option. In both 2001 and 2002, Rice had over a thousand yards receiving.

Here is where the sort of sad part comes in. It appears Rice is just unable to call it quits. After he struggled with Oakland, he moved on to Seattle where he never really was part of the offense. (By the way: if a playoff game is on the line and you have Jerry Rice on the team, why don't you throw it to him? I mean, really, I think he would have made that catch.) And now he is wrangling to latch on with Denver and former 49er assistant Mike Shanahan. [UPDATE: Rice has now signed a deal with Denver]

Given his knowledge of the game and his work ethic, Rice might make a decent player-coach. Who knows, maybe he can show Ashlie Lelie what it takes to bring your "A "game every time you get on the field. But it just seems a shame to see this future Hall-of-Famer practically beg teams to take him on. It is somehow unseemly.

Clearly, Rice is just not ready to give up the game he loves and the sport to which he has contributed so much. But if he pushes this thing much farther, I think he does so at the expense of his dignity. There comes a time when you simply have to walk away and start your off-the-field life. I can't imagine what that must be like when you are still hungry for the competition, but it is a fact of life. Rice will have to face that sooner rather than later, I am afraid.

Still, if the NFL had more players like Jerry Rice and less like Kellen Winslow and Terrell Owen — despite Owens' obvious talents — the sport would be better off. Perhaps I am being naive, but I think in the long run, hard work and dedication pay off better than greed and selfishness. It is apparently a lesson that young men like Kellen Winslow have to learn the hard way.

Posted by Kevin Holtsberry at 4:53 PM | Comments (3)

Senior Leadership Key in 2005

Prior to last season, the previous two NCAA champions have been primarily led by underclassmen. UConn won the 2004 NCAA championship behind the leadership of juniors Ben Gordon and Emeka Okafor and 2003 champion Syracuse was led by sophomore Hakim Warrick and freshmen Carmelo Anthony and Gerry McNamara.

Other young teams have advanced deep into the tournament in recent years. Georgia Tech had no prominent seniors during its run to the 2004 National Championship Game and Oklahoma State marched to the 2004 Final Four with only one senior starter.

The 2005 NCAA tournament, however, saw a return to the importance of senior leadership in making a deep tournament run. The majority of the teams who advanced deep into March did so with a strong core of seniors.

North Carolina won its first national championship in 12 years and the first ever for Roy Williams. The Tar Heel props were given to its junior class. Sean May was a behemoth inside, Raymond Felton was an adept floor general, and Rashad McCants was Mr. Outside to May's Mr. Inside.

North Carolina would not have been able to capture gold without the leadership of its seniors. Jackie Manuel, Melvin Scott and Jawad Williams went through a lot in their four years in Chapel Hill. They suffered an 8-20 record as freshmen, lost in the third round of the NIT to Georgetown as sophomores, and were eliminated by Texas in the second round of the NCAAs as junior in 2004.

Illinois and Arizona staged an epic battle in the Elite Eight and both teams made their deep runs in the tournament with senior leadership. The Illini made their first appearance in the NCAA Championship Game with a team makeup similar to UNC. The junior guard tandem of Deron Williams and Dee Brown garnered the attention and accolades, but it was the senior leadership of Luther Head and Roger Powell, Jr. that was the Illini's steadying hand during adversity. Powell and Head played in an Illinois record 14 NCAA tournament games.

The perception of Arizona's 2005 season is going to be that they coughed away a 15-point lead in the final four minutes in their regional final loss to the Illini. Without seniors Salim Stoudamire and Channing Frye, the Wildcats might have been eliminated much earlier in the tournament. Stoudamire averaged 18.2 points in the Wildcats' three tournament wins and hit the game-winner with 2.8 seconds remaining to eliminate Oklahoma State. Frye was tremendous throughout the tournament and did everything he could to help Arizona win with 24 points, 21 rebounds, and 6 blocks in the loss to Illinois.

Oklahoma State followed up their '03-'04 season by earning a number two seed in the Chicago region, a share of the Big 12 title, and a trip to the Sweet 16. The Cowboys had six seniors that played a significant role in their success. John Lucas III has been one of the best point guards in the nation for two years and is equally adept at running Eddie Sutton's offense, having to carry the load offensively.

Joey Graham (17.7 ppg, 4 rpg) and Ivan McFarlin (12.5 ppg, 7.4 rpg) gave the Pokes toughness and could also provide highlight-reel dunks. Daniel Bobik was an unsung hero that would usually draw the opponent's best offensive player. The return of JamesOn Curry has the future looking bright in Stillwater, but the class of 2005 will be tough for Eddie Sutton to replace.

Its first number one seed, a Pac-10 tournament title, a Sweet 16 appearance, and the 2004 Pac-10 regular season title, the class of 2005 accomplished things at the University of Washington that hadn't been accomplished before in Seattle. While juniors Nate Robinson and Brandon Roy were receiving the publicity, it was seniors Will Conroy, Tre Simmons, and Hakim Rollins that laid the groundwork to help turn Washington hoops into a national brand name.

From 1999-2001 Michigan State advanced to three consecutive Final Fours and captured a national championship in 2000. When Tom Izzo's current crop of seniors entered East Lansing in the fall of 2001, they were touted as one of the nation's best recruiting classes. The thought from MSU faithful was that they would continue the traditions and backup the high expectations in Michigan's capital region. Until this season, they were unable to get the Spartans back to the Final Four. With a number five seed in the Austin region not many expected them to get there this season, either.

Throw in a quarterfinal loss to Iowa in the Big 10 tournament, and the Izzones were primed to be a possible upset victim in the NCAAs, as well. Behind Alan Anderson, Chris Hill, and Kelvin Torbert, MSU had their first four-game winning streak in the NCAA tournament in four years. Anderson contributed 11.2 ppg and 6.4 rpg and Torbert contributed 10.0 and 3.2 during the Spartans' run to the Arch. Hill struggled in the tournament, but averaged 8.8 ppg and 4.2 apg during the season.

When asked how this trip to the Final Four compared to his previous four, Rick Pitino said this year was comparable to his 1987 team at Providence. Led by current Florida coach Billy Donovan and Indiana castoff Delray Brooks, they shocked the college basketball world with an upset of Georgetown in the Elite Eight and a trip to New Orleans as a six-seed.

Louisville was an extremely strong number four seed, but had to overcome tremendous hardships and adversity to get to St. Louis. Ellis Myles blew out his knee two years ago and missed the 2003 NCAA tournament and the entire 2003-04 season. Francisco Garcia has to overcome the murder of his brother last season and senior Larry O'Bannon had to wait until his senior season to become a key player. The Louisville native finished as the Cardinals' second leading scorer and was their best player in March.

The Louisville senior class entered as freshmen with Pitino and his new coaching staff. As a fifth-year senior, Myles is the last player who played for Denny Crum to leave Louisville. Otis George was Pitino's other key senior and provided an important inside presence off the bench. Garcia was an unusual case as a 24-year-old junior after a year in prep school following before college. The 6-7 junior was an all-American, First Team All-Conference USA, and the Cardinals' go-to player. Myles was outstanding in the Final Four loss to Illinois with 17 points and seven rebounds. The future looks bright in the Derby City and Pitino can always point to the class of 2005 as the one who helped restore the glory at Freedom Hall.

Experience has recently become the neutralizing factor in diminishing the gap between name schools and mid-majors to schools from the smaller conferences. The landscape of college basketball has changed tremendously in the last 15 years. Most star underclassmen that lead their teams to March glory seldom stay through their senior seasons. Rare is the team that captures a title without senior leadership. When looking ahead to 2006, don't count out teams with a strong senior class.

Posted by Alan Rubenstein at 4:37 PM | Comments (0)

May 25, 2005

Secrets of the 2005 NFL Season

Note: The quotes in this article are fictional.

* Ricky Williams returns to the Miami Dolphins subject to a list of conditions that stretches from Orlando to Key West. Specifically, Williams is ordered to submit to drug tests bi-hourly, and is forbidden to be within 50 feet of any head shop. Also, Williams is not allowed access to the music of Bob Marley, Dr. Dre, The Grateful Dead, Tone Loc, and Cypress Hill.

"Let me be blunt," comments new Dolphin coach Nick Saban. "We are high on Ricky's return. However, we are concerned that Ricky's absence from football may have weakened his ability to take hits. But, I'm sure that once Ricky gets into game shape, he will suffer no chronic effects from his inactivity."

Williams promises his coaches and teammates that he will be on the straight and narrow.

"I'm stoked to have this opportunity. With the support of my coaches and teammates, as well as that of my new-found spiritual leader, Buddha, and my parents, Herb and Mary Jane Williams, I will be the Ricky that rushed for over 1,800 yards in 2002."

* In the span of eight hours on August 25th, the Dolphins' David Boston fails a drug test, a physical, an eye exam, and the Florida state drivers' test.

* The Cleveland Browns' Kellen Winslow II announces his return to action by skydiving to midfield of Cleveland Stadium moments before kickoff of the Browns' September 11th home-opener. A sudden shift in the winds causes Winslow to veer off course, and he crashes into a motorcycle in the parking lot. He re-aggravates injuries suffered in his April 14th motorcycle crash. Luckily, Winslow has his helmet strapped, and suffers no head injuries. Despite his injuries, Winslow downplays the incident.

"It's not that I'm making foolish choices. I'm just having a run of bad luck in parking lots."

Later that week, Winslow's brand new Hummer H3 is dinged by a runaway shopping cart at a Cleveland Kroger grocery store parking lot.

* Philadelphia quarterback Donovan McNabb makes a wager with coach Andy Reid that if McNabb can go the entire season without vomiting or dry heaving on the field, Reid will don a skin-tight, full body suit. McNabb wins the bet, and Reid holds up his end of the bargain, squeezing into the suit. Moments later, however, the suit has to be surgically removed when it constricts the blood flow to Reid's brain.

* Ex-Cowboy offensive lineman and current drug fiend Nate Newton, displaying his desire to be the best at whatever he does, calls in all the favors he collected serving his sentence, takes over as czar of the Medellin Columbian drug cartel. After considering a number of ex-Cowboys for the position, Newton names Thomas "Hollywood" Henderson his first lieutenant.

* A new ride, "The Michael Vick Experience II," open to females only, opens at the ESPN Zone in Orlando, Florida. It is shut down after two days, due to lack of interest and a failed sanitation rating.

* Minnesota Vikings running back Onterrio Smth, a compensated spokesman for "The Original Whizzinator" drug test avoidance kit, buys his own "Whizzinator" franchise, and opens a "Whizzinator Hut" in the Mall of America in Minneapolis. While serving a yearlong drug suspension, Smith pours his heart into his business, and attains some prime product placement time for his apparatus. "The Whizzinator" appears in one of The Game's rap videos, in a Chappelle's Show skit, and is bid upon on an episode of The Price is Right.

"It's only a matter of time before we conquer the adult movie industry, as well," Smith says proudly.

* Indianapolis Colts quarterback Peyton Manning ties his NFL record of 49 touchdown passes in a season, throwing 10 touchdowns to four different players. To offer congratulations, New England quarterback Tom Brady sends Manning a snow globe containing a likeness of Manning and several Patriot defenders. When the globe is shaken, snow falls, the Manning character throws and interception, and snaps off his chin strap in disgust.

* Terrell Owens makes a deal with the devil and sells his soul, then demands to renegotiate the deal, citing the fact that two higher paid receivers, Randy Moss and Marvin Harrison, make comparable money to Owens, but, in their own deals with the devil, have retained the rights to their souls.

* Cincinnati wide receiver Chad Johnson guarantees that if the Bengals win 12 games, they will make the playoffs.

* In the Rams' October 9th game against Seattle at the Edward Jones Dome, St. Louis head coach Mike Martz calls three time outs before the opening kickoff, then order kickers Jeff Wilkins to on-side kick, which is easily recovered by the Seahawks. Martz then asks for a 20-second timeout, then, strangely, asks for a mulligan. After both requests are denied, Martz shoves the head linesman, and he is served with a yellow flag for unsportsmanlike conduct. The loony Rams leader challenges the call with his red flag, which is quickly overturned and tossed back in his face. After the game, Martz accuses quarterback Marc Bulger of trying to kill him.

* In a charity track and field event, new Dallas quarterback Drew Bledsoe, head coach Bill Parcells, team owner Jerry Jones, and special guest Vinny Testaverde raise $50,000 for a local hospital by breaking the four-minute barrier ... in the 4x100 meter relay. Bledsoe anchors the team with a 54-second leg, including a 27-second last 40-meter split, a career best. An excited Bledsoe then chest bumps Parcells, and Bledsoe suffers internal bleeding as a result of the collision.

* Minnesota head coach Mike Tice snatches $12.50 for two complimentary tickets to his 12-year old niece's ballet recital, then later collects $500 apiece for two backstage passes for the Rolling Stones' visit to Minneapolis on September 6th. In January, Tice leads the Vikes to the NFC Championship, where they are defeated by the Carolina Panthers.

* Rookie Broncos running back Maurice Clarett's 1973 Monte Carlo, complete with stock AM/FM radio, is stolen outside of the Denver training facility. When questioned by police and insurance adjusters, Clarett claims the car was a Mercedes-Benz 350 SL, and stolen with the car was $40,000 in quarters and D.J. equipment worth $50,000.

* Packers quarterback Brett Favre drills a 65 miles per hour pass to receiver Javon Walker on a five-yard out on the first play Green Bay's first pre-season game on August 12th. Walker catches the pass, but breaks three fingers on his right hand.

"Well, I guess he can't sign a new contract now," Favre later jokes.

* Randy Moss scores his first touchdown as a Raider against the Patriots on ABC's Thursday night opener on September 8th. In a totally innocent gesture to the Patriot fans regarding their teams Super Bowl success, Moss intends to raise his ring finger to announce that he will have a ring soon. However, Moss mistakenly raises his middle finger, shooting the bird to a sold out Gillette stadium and a record number of viewers for a Thursday night game.

* New Arizona Cardinal Kurt Warner wins the starting job at quarterback, and starts the season strong with 273 yards passing and three touchdowns in the season opener at the New York Giants. However, Warner's wacky wife Brenda does not endear herself to the Cardinal organization when she calls a local radio station to protest the new, "meaner" Cardinal logo.

"That cardinal seems to be possessed by demons," Brenda Warner explains. "The Lord never intended for a cardinal to be that evil, much less appear on a football helmet. This is an outrage. I demand that Kurt be traded!"

Warner then makes the greatest play of his career: dumping his wife.

* In an October 9th game at Detroit, Baltimore safety Ed Reed sets an NFL record by intercepting three different quarterbacks in the same game. Reed pilfers a pass each from Joey Harrington, Jeff Garcia, and rookie Dan Orlovsky, and returns two for touchdowns, racking up 215 return yards on the game. The Ravens win 14-0. Reed later collects his second straight Defensive Player of the Year award.

* Great Britain's Prince Charles threatens a hostile takeover of the Tampa Bay franchise unless Bucs owner Malcolm Glazer relinquishes his control of the Manchester United Soccer Club. At first, Glazer calls the Prince's bluff, but when the Prince of Wales sends Glazer a nude photo of Camilla Parker Bowles in a Bucs' helmet, Glazer is forced to withdraw.

"Nobody plays as ugly as we British," boasts Prince Charles. "Cheerio."

* San Francisco head coach Mike Nolan, in protest of the ignoring of his suggestion that coaches wear suits to games, appears on the sideline in a tuxedo print t-shirt, cummerbund, and a kilt.

* New England wins its third straight Super Bowl, defeating the Carolina Panthers, 27-24. Corey Dillon is named MVP.

Posted by Jeffrey Boswell at 4:55 PM | Comments (3)

Heat With Diesel Fuel: The Importance of Shaq

To his credit, Shaquille O'Neal never went around boasting that he was The Man. The Big ChamberNeasy, yes. Superman? Sure. But he never took sole credit for the Laker mini-nasty. He knew that the sober guidance of Phil Jackson, the liberal wallet of Jerry Buss, the locker room presence of Mitch Richmond, Rick Fox, Robert Horry, and Derek Fisher, and the stellar play of Kobe Bryant were prime factors.

Now we observe O'Neal operating in a new environment. Though hobbled recently, he dedicated himself to be physically fit. He took Dwayne Wade under his huge wing. He reached out to Miami fans. And he could be en route to the Finals again.

What does this say about professional basketball? For all the talk of the return of the little man, of Small Ball, Allen Iverson, the old David Wesley/Baron Davis backcourt in New Orleans, and Mike Bibby/Bobby Jackson in SacTown, an unstoppable big man is the ticket.

Why has this fact gone overshadowed? There are a number of reasons. We forget about the college game, where UConn was led by Emeka Okafur, and UNC by Sean May. We forget about Michael Jordan's baseball oddysey, when Hakeem Olajuwon ruled the NBA world. What about the Spurs' success with The Admiral and Tim Duncan? The Laker three-peat? All of these triumphs underscore the need to feed the post, and the importance of interior defense. Those powerful Bulls teams were the exception, not the rule.

Fans must also note that 25 years ago, Amare Stoudemire, Kevin Garnett, Tim Duncan, Rasheed Wallace, and the recently-retired Karl Malone, most of whom stand at least 6-11, would have been centers. That was the NBA of Wes Unseld and Dave Cowens, but also of Kareem Abdul-Jabbar and Moses Malone.

Just because Patrick Ewing is ringless, doesn't mean the postman is not precious. Look at the three NCAA national championship games Ewing led Georgetown to, two more of which his team could have conceivably won. Shaq proves the rule, the old boxing aphorism that a good big man is better than a good little man. In a larger way, Bill Russell was solid proof.

The high-percentage shot is the best shot. When healthy, Shaq is not only quick, strong, and an excellent leaper given his bulk, but he is a smart passer. On a well-balanced team, he is always a candidate to play in June. Olajuwon and Abdul-Jabbar also knew when to pass out of the double-team. College and pro champ Bill Walton knew how to pass period. In the NCAA's, Utah's Andrew Bogut put on a clinic, feeding cutters like a latter-day Meadowlark Lemon replicating the Harlem Globetrotters' weave.

Shaq and Wade compliment each other expertly, and Wade's humility and appreciation prevent the jealousy that clouded Shaq/Penny [Hardaway] and Kobe/Shaq. Without such clouds, the Heat are in for a sunny forecast.

Posted by Bijan C. Bayne at 4:36 PM | Comments (1)

Who's Stealing Baseball's Limelight?

With Major League Baseball's perennial sluggers just digging in, with their big bats finally coming around as the season's second quarter begins, we have been treated to the feats of several players who have unexpectedly captured the pastime's attention.

While playing for the Colorado Rockies, who sit in the cellar of the National League West, arguably one of the least competitive divisions in all of baseball, shortstop Clint Barmes has not let it get him down. Presently leading both the National and American leagues as of May 18th in batting average which has remained just shy of .380, Barmes also enjoys a slugging percentage of .597 with 58 hits. He also achieved a 12-game hitting streak in mid-May.

Thus far, Barmes' first full year in the big leagues has been nothing but gravy for him, now hitting in the two-hole, with no unusual expectations put upon him. His fielding could be cleaned up a bit, however, leading all shortstops in both leagues with 8 errors. Prognosticators are smarter than to start making predictions of future successes, however, when a rookie is involved, but for now, we can look forward for the 26-year-old to get even better.

Similarly to Barmes, Brian Roberts, second baseman for the American League East leading Baltimore Orioles, is enjoying his second full big league season and has been on fire since Opening Day. He has largely been Baltimore's catalyst while hitting at the top of the order, and he has raised more than a few eyebrows. Roberts is at the top of the charts in batting average in the American League at .372, with 11 home runs and a .659 slugging percentage. He is only being outshined by players such as teammate Miguel Tejada and Yankee Alex Rodriguez who dominate with power.

Unlike Barmes, however, Roberts enjoys the pleasure of playing on a contending club, which has been a surprise as well. And given that the Orioles have benefited from the slow starts of both the New York Yankees and the Boston Red Sox, they'll take it any way they can get it. With 13 stolen bases, Roberts has now filled the roll of a pesky table setter who can also utilize the whole field with some pop in his bat, as well. His on base percentage stands at .455.

Roberts is a welcome addition to the Oriole lineup, giving it a new dynamic that gives confidence to the front office in having stuck with him while trading former second baseman Jerry Hairston to the Cubs in the Sammy Sosa trade. As a switch-hitter, Roberts set a Major League record in 2004 with 52 doubles, so his talent was already bubbling down under. Even if the Orioles don't turn out to be to the real deal, we can still look forward to the rest of Roberts' journey this season.

Another up and comer who has also enjoyed early and consistent success is White Sox pitcher Jon Garland. As the fifth starter in a rotation in which he was a mere afterthought, he is 8-0, with a 2.41 ERA and has allowed only 10 walks on the season. Not only is Garland the first starter to get to eight wins in the major leagues, but he is still riding the crest of no losses so far. He becomes the first White Sox pitcher to win his first eight games since John Whitehead did so in 1935.

Due to his early success, there has even been speculation about Garland's shot at winning 30 games in 2005. Roger Clemens, last year's National League Cy Young Award winner, also had an incredible first half in 2004, and the same was postulated then. But getting in an average of 40 starts in this day and age in order to most probably wind up with 30 wins is improbable with a five-man rotation and with middle relievers used more and more. The last 30-game winner was Detroit's Denny McClain in 1968 when he went 31-6 with 28 complete games.

With the Chicago White Sox enjoying the best record in MLB thus far this season, it largely has hinged upon the success of their rotation, which has overachieved. Garland is the anchor in a rotation headed up by Mark Buehrle, who is 7-1 with a 3.33 ERA. Orlando "El Duqué" Hernandez follows with a 5-1 record and a 3.91 ERA. José Contreras has surprised with 3.52 ERA after his problems finding the plate with the New York Yankees for most of 2004 before being traded. Freddy Garcia also enjoys an ERA under 4.0 as he also tries to resurrect his career after coming over from the Seattle Mariners.

And speaking of Roger Clemens, as long as he continues to dominate with his pitching with the major league's best ERA of 1.19 amongst starting pitchers, we must include him as players to continue to watch, if only because of his longevity. Every time he steps out on the mound, records are being broken. And given the fact that the Houston Astros have provided no run support for Clemens with an error-riddled defense behind him, it is amazing that his ERA is as low as it is. He also is fourth in the National League in strikeouts and looks as dominant, if not more so than he did last year when earning his seventh Cy Young. It will be a shame, however, if he decides to ride it out in Houston if they do not continue to improve, as the Rocket has been noted to pride himself on wins even more so than individual statistics.

So as the heat is turned up on the way to the All-Star Break we have been treated to some individuals' performances, which may or may not turn out to be factors in the overall success of their teams this season. But ultimately, our national pastime will continue to prevail not just from good team competition, but also because of the welcome and unpredictable performances of a select few.

Posted by Diane M. Grassi at 4:20 PM | Comments (0)

May 24, 2005

Take Me Out to the Brawl Game

It was only an inkling before, but after some of the comments left on my previous column, I am now certain that those from Connecticut, besides being rather rude people in general, know absolutely nothing about sports.

Much to my delight in witnessing stupidity, Greg Jones responded to my May 21 "A Jaded Look at the NBA" story with some strange gibberish: "Connecticut 'obsolete'? How about good standards in journalism being obsolete if a newspaper needs garbage like [yours] to fill its columns."

My response to the temperamental cowboy: "You're right, [Greg]. I've been writing garbage like this since the day I picked up a pen. Where would I be if guys like you didn't read it ... For that, my deepest thanks."

And there it ended: two human beings — although to be safe, I'll say one for now until we confirm Greg's planet or origin — who disagreed, vented their disagreements, and then left it at that. Two human beings — one intelligent, one who is most likely still bitter about scoring inordinately low on his SATs — who had an argument about sports without going Milton Bradley on one another.

Unfortunately, with the mention of Bradley and the Los Angeles Dodgers comes the tragedy of my story:

On a near-100 degree May 21 afternoon in Los Angeles, I went with some longtime friends of mine to watch the second game of the Dodgers/Angels Freeway Series. Now I am a miserable guy in general, but the ungodly May temperature — I complain every minute it is not 72 degrees outside and the breeze disturbs my hair — made the game a bit unpleasant.

Add that to the feverish symptoms I had at the time due to what I realize now was my impending association with Greg and, as I'm sure you'd understand, I could have hit something (figuratively speaking!) by the time the Dodgers lost an ugly 3-1 game to the undermanned Angels (Vladimir Guerrero, Garret Anderson, and Francisco Rodriquez were all sitting out with injuries) to fall to 22-20 after starting the season at a MLB-best 12-2.

Keep in mind that I said figuratively speaking!

In no way shape or form is it acceptable to turn a sporting event into a sparring match, right? You would never physically assault someone who didn't like the same team as you, would you?

For seven to 10 "fans" at the May 21 game, the answer to the latter of the two questions was a repulsive "yes" as they joined cowardly forces to brutally beat and bloody an Angels fan at the game.

There to enjoy a baseball game on a Saturday with some of my closest friends, I expected to be watching baseball being played on a baseball field — instead, I, like Aaron Dow, a seasonal firefighter and Bakersfield, CA resident, saw a brawl being conducted in the stands. Dow explained how he saw things unfold at the stadium later in a telephone interview.

"There were some rowdy Dodger fans who had too much to drink who were talking trash to an Angels fan," said Dow, 22. "The Angels fan said, '3-1' [the final score] back to them after the game and they started beating him helplessly."

"There were kids around who were crying and screaming," he continued. "[My girlfriend and I] had food thrown at us as well because I was wearing an Angels jersey. I am appalled by these actions and want to say they were extremely uncalled for. There is never a need to fight at a sporting event. Do these [criminals] think they are bigger for beating someone up like this?"

Lindsey Bockoven, Dow's girlfriend and a 21-year-old college student from Moorpark, CA was also disgusted with what she saw. In a telephone interview, she said, "I feel threatened at Dodgers Stadium now as a young woman and I wouldn't want to bring a child to a game there, either. It's sad because people take their families to baseball games to bond and have a good time and you can't even go to a game with two rival teams without feeling threatened." The soon-to-be San Diego State University student and Georgia native said she will attend Angels games instead, if any games at all.

The victim appeared to be a man in his late 20s. After the fight, which I estimate lasted upwards of two minutes, he lay on cement bleeding heavily from the ear after sustaining what were at least 50 punches from grown men, mostly to the face. I saw one man — being the coward that he was — run from roughly 40 seats away to unload at least six punches directly to the victim's face.

What makes the incident even more sickening was the way many of the fans surrounding the fight reacted to it (note: I use the word fans here loosely as a euphemism for cretins): chants of "An-gels Suck! An-gels suck" began from the 30 to 50 people apparently happy to see a severely injured man writhing in agony. An Angels fan, yes, but, an Angels fan who has a family, possibly kids of his own.

Personally, I am an avid Dodgers fan and I was upset to see the Dodgers lose the game, their third in a row and their sixth in seven games. There are few things I enjoy more in life than listening to Dodgers legendary broadcaster Vin Scully weave a tale about a ballgame, but, nonetheless, I have never been more ashamed to be a resident of the greater Los Angeles area and a fan of the Dodgers than I was on May 21. I still haven't decided whether I will be going to Chavez Ravine to watch the Dodgers play again.

I demand some explanations before I watch another ballgame at Dodgers Stadium and Dodgers Stadium Vice President of Public Relations John Olguin did not assuage my anger in the slightest. Olguin, who would not comment about the specifics of the fight, talked to me in a telephone interview about security at Dodgers Stadium in general:

"We are very serious about security at Dodgers Stadium," Olguin said. "We pride ourselves in providing a fan-friendly environment for our fans. We are constantly looking at new ways to improve and adjust the fan's experience."

Olguin said Dodgers Stadium is policed by the Los Angeles Police Department as well as their own private security team, which was curious, actually, because there wasn't a security presence at the scene of the fight until many minutes later.

From what I could tell, not one of the criminals was apprehended, fleeing in myriad directions before anyone realized what was going on. Olguin would not give the number of officers on duty at any given game for what he said were security measures. Reprehensibly, Olguin said Dodgers Stadium would not allow him to comment upon arrests made or injuries sustained as a result of violence at the stadium.

Allow me, then, to make a comment to Dodgers Stadium officials: if I'm paying you to watch a ballgame at your stadium, I want to know exactly how many security guards are on duty there and exactly how many crimes are committed there! You have no right — and if you do legally, you have no right ethically — to keep this information from the public. The public's access to this information should be just as seamless as their access to stocking your personal coffers with ticket purchases, which I adamantly urge them not to do until you let them know exactly how secure they are in your stadium!

If you missed that or didn't quite get what I was saying, reader, I will tell it to you one more time to make it clear: DODGERS OFFICIALS WON'T LET YOU KNOW HOW SECURE THEIR STADIUM IS. DON'T CAPITULATE TO THESE FOOLS AND PAY THEM TO GET YOUR HEAD BEATEN IN BY CRIMINALS THEY ALLOW TO SIT RIGHT NEXT TO YOU AND YOUR CHILDREN!

Jamie Heald, a 23-year-old Los Angeles City Firefighter at the May 21 game, agreed with this plea. "I believe kids and families are being jeopardized at Dodgers Stadium [due to fights like these]," Heald, a Newbury Park, CA resident said. "I'm embarrassed for the city of Los Angeles. I'm not coming back to Dodgers Stadium again. I'll go to Angels Stadium from now on. I'm just amazed at how people treat each other." Keep in mind, this is coming from a L.A. City firefighter who deals with human trauma on a daily basis.

But I agree with you 100-percent, Mr. Heald. It's just ashame that some people see sports — a supposed social cohesive — as a reason to inflict bodily damage upon one another. This is a practice that will continue to persist, I'm guessing, until places like Dodgers Stadium quit trying to hide their incompetence from the public, which will, in turn, oblige them to completely restructure the way they operate security.

Posted by Kevin Connelly at 12:54 PM | Comments (0)

Who's Got Your Back, D. Wade?

It's safe to say that Dwyane Wade's rise to fame is being aided by Miami's run in the 2005 playoffs. The man is doing it all — scoring, rebounding, passing, and making it all look good time after time. But this wasn't his team in November, thanks to the dominance of one Shaquille O'Neal.

Over the last few weeks, the balance has shifted as O'Neal continues to battle leg injuries. While Wade has stepped up his game to legend-like levels, the Heat haven't had any trouble putting away the New Jersey Nets and Washington Wizards. So is D. Wade really that good?

Think of it as you would a critically-acclaimed movie. Usually, for every good film, there's an outstanding performance that's propped up due to the work of some supporting cast. Just like a great actor, no one player can make a team great. Flash has been getting some help in the absence of The Diesel. But who is this cast of characters that bring hope of a title to southern Florida?

Eddie Jones has been a solid pro basketball player over his 10-year career. With the Lakers, Charlotte, and now in Miami, Jones continues to show his worth, especially as a second, or third, banana. During these playoffs, his sidekick role has been upped, and he's been showing an extra gear.

During the sweeps of New Jersey and Washington, the Heat have seen an increase in points (12.7 to 15.9 ppg) and a certain defensive presence (1.08 to 1.75 steals a game). Jones is also displaying a sharper shooting touch, hitting almost 52% from the field and 45% behind the three-point arc.

But Eddie's not the only Jones making a name for himself on South Beach. Did you have any idea who Damon Jones was a month ago? Didn't think so. The hyper definition of a journeyman, the undrafted D.J. is on his ninth team in six years with the association. By the way, he signed as a free agent with all of them.

However, Damon's fit in nicely as a late season sharpshooter. He's basically continuing to put up game-worthy numbers in the postseason. The points per game are up by four (11.6 to 15.6). Plus, those timely shots are falling at a clip of 48% on the floor and 45% from treyland. I guess it's a fact that the Florida sand is doing wonders for his game.

While a student at Iowa State, I still rooted for my home state Missouri Tigers. At the time, a talented point guard from Fort Lauderdale named Keyon Dooling stepped in to lead the program. Two years later, Dooling took his game and landed in NBA obscurity with the Los Angeles Clippers.

It seems that Keyon has resurfaced close to home, playing the backup role to Wade's shining star. That's becoming more apparent as the playoffs continue. Through eight games, K.D. has 8.1 ppg (up from 5.2 this season) and is hitting an astonishing 61% of his shots. If he shot like that during his college days, maybe Missouri could have scratched the Final Four without being an upset special. Wishful thinking, I guess.

Now we head to the frontcourt, where the need has been a little more pressing. With O'Neal playing at a fraction of his Shaqbino self, the pickup of former Heat star Alonzo Mourning and the continued emergence of Udonis Haslem have been just what the doctor ordered.

After New Jersey traded him and Toronto couldn't play him, 'Zo arrived back in the place where he played for seven years. This meant that he only got 19 regular-season games in with his current running mates. That hasn't stopped him from making an impact, though. In the absence of Shaq, Mourning minutes have gone up to 17.4 a game. Along with that, the increased time has provided almost three more points and two extra boards per contest. Add that to the emotional lift of screams and heaven pointing, and you have a bona fide comeback story.

Haslem's effort might not be noticed in the scorebooks with the other cast members. In fact, his points and shooting percentage are down from the regular season. But with such a large hole in the middle, Miami's not in the market for extra scoring. The Florida alum has given the Heat a monster rebounding presence to keep opponent possessions short. The 9.1 to 11.5 jump in boards per game brings more sturdiness to the postseason stage.

With two rounds in the books, the Heat hope to get a rested Shaq in uniform to face the Pistons. However, don't expect that will phase the defending champs. Remember, they took out a pretty full Diesel last season to win the title. This time, though, O'Neal and Wade have backup, and they're not afraid to use it.

Posted by Jonathan Lowe at 12:39 PM | Comments (0)

Sports Gospel NASCAR Mailbag

Last week's NASCAR column proved to be very popular with some and very upsetting to another contingent. I got about three times the amount of e-mail I get on an average week, so I thought a mailbag column would help clear up some confusion. I did get a lot of positive feedback, but none of it made the mailbag, because frankly, unlike some writers, I'm not doing this to pat myself on the back (at least not in this version).

I did have another column planned, so don't think I'm just looking for the easy way out this week. In fact, if you can't get your fill of the sports gospel, I'm starting to do another column every week on SportsRant.com, so you can check it out there every Thursday (starting this week).

I think the main point of contention with most people was the fact that I did not consider NASCAR to be a sport. A little warning, some of the e-mails aren't well-written, and these are the e-mails that actually made the cut, I left quite a few of them out because they were embarrassing to the English language. I was really hoping to get some good arguments from NASCAR fans. Anyway, on to the e-mails.

Boy are you a f*cking no brain idiot... Why dont you walk up to Kevin Harvick or Tony Stewart when they are wound up after a race and tell them nascar is not a sport... You wont walk out you dink... At least nascar drivers dopnt have to inject steriods in there body to perform better ..They just work harder.. Why dont learn a little about it before you talk so stupid...

Mark

Mark,

I heard NASCAR drivers were supposed to be a step above the common "athlete." Anyway, the fact that the drivers would physically assault me doesn't make it a sport — otherwise we would have to consider professional wrestling a sport, as well (although I'm pretty sure I could take most of them).

As far as the steroids thing is concerned, don't pretend that drivers are perfect angels. They do a lot of alterations to their cars and try to get around many rules, so it's not like they are perfectly clean. Trust me, if steroids would help a NASCAR driver, you would have some using it.

You do have one thing going for you, though, you have a good name.

hey man you no how bad of a low life you are saying that nascar is not a sport @!@ Kyle

Know, know I don't no how much of a low-life I am.

Hey dude in almost any jock sport it only takes "one ball" to participate, in NASCAR it takes TWO BALLS and it sad that you don't have any! Since you don't have any balls pull your jock out of your ass, clear your mind and look again. NASCAR IS A SPORT!!

Sievers

Well done, Sievers, that was a very well-constructed argument. Not to take anything away from your brilliant points, but if I don't have any balls, why did I buy a jockstrap?

Anyway, I'll take your advice and look again. Done, and NASCAR is still not a sport.

(The following is from a message board).

Hey every one, maby when mark grows himself some BALLS then he might be able to see how great of a sport this really is !!!! Kyle

Isn't that sexist? Are you trying to say that women can't see the greatness of NASCAR because of their genitalia? I tend to think men and women are pretty equal, but I guess that's just your opinion.

Kyle- um, no i`m saying when YOU become a man then you might see how good it is

Thanks for clarifying. You have to be a man to like NASCAR. Another well-constructed argument.

Seven guys change 4 tires and deliver 22 gallons of fuel less than 13 seconds and it's not a "Sport"? It's a far better example of teamwork (read: Sport) than any run/jump/throw "Game" IMO -Racing is all about TEAMWORK (again, read: Sport!)

The driver is just a part of a Team, much like a quarterback or running back in Football. Each member of a NASCAR team has an important role in the team's success, just like any other sport. If one team member fails at his assignment, the whole team will be affected. There is much more to it than just "sitting in a car and driving for hours". Please take the time to learn a little about racing before forming an opinion. - Thanks and keep up the good work

I guess this would be as good a time as any to officially clarify my stance on NASCAR. I can appreciate the physical and mental demands put on drivers. I respect their ability and I respect the teamwork of the pit crews. My point is that it's not a sport because, as a colleague put it, "it isn't entirely human-operated and powered." I also don't think it's a sport because it doesn't take a lot of God-given ability to do. Who wins the one-on-one game between Chad Johnson and Jeff Gordon?

Mark, just read your article about losing Joe to NASCAR. Man, you stick and ball guys just don't get it. If you don't like Joe's description of an athlete, I would love to hear yours. You are so typical of someone who just because they know nothing about something, and it is not something that you were brought up on, then by God it cant worth a damn. Do they still play that game called Hockey?

It can be worth all the damns in the world, but that still doesn't make it a sport.

If it is so easy, get a car and go to your local track and see how tired you are after just a 20 lap feature. These guys race for 400-500 laps/miles at a time, sometimes 5 hours in the car. I have heard all the arguments "I drive everyday", "whats the big deal go straight turn left" ect. Try it, then you will gain some respect of what these guys go thru. Dave Hurd DMH Motorsports

I don't think it's easy and I don't even presume to believe I could do what they do.

Mr. Chalifoux, I enjoyed your article about the loss of a sports fan to NASCAR. I take exception, however, to your assertion that NASCAR is not a sport. Hemingway said that the only true sports were bull fighting and auto racing, because you can literally lose your life doing those. I doubt that the Battle Bot guys can make that claim. I think once you learn more about it, you will find that NASCAR does possess the characteristics of a sport. Piloting a 3400 pound machine with it's own idea of where it's going, in excess of 180 mph for 4 hours while in 140 degree heat, mere inches from 42 other guys doing the same thing, and all fighting for the same piece of asphalt, would seem to me to be a sport. In addition, the technical aspects of the sport including the adjustments to the chassis, tire pressure and camber, pit strategy and just plain ol' competition make it very interesting. Once you go to a race and hear the roar of those engines, you'll be hooked. I enjoy it for all of the above reasons. And besides, there are cute guys. Greta

Finally, a well thought-out response, and from a girl no less (I thought girls couldn't like NASCAR?). I agree that there is a good deal of risk, but daredevils like Evel Knievel face the same risk, but I don't consider what he did to be a sport.

How NARROW MINDED CAN YOU BE??? I would love to see any typical "athlete" endure what a nascar driver endures for 3-4 hours- the G-forces, the extreme heat in the car- so extreme they loose 6-8 pounds a race...OH WAIT- most of those "Sports Heros" can't cause they are HOPPED UP ON ROIDS or drugs or are too busy beating their girlfriends or wives or raping random women they pick up. If your friend Joe has any smarts..He would GO "PLAY" Nascar with the quote" Subway worker that assembles my lunch every day" CAUSE YOU MY FRIEND ARE A MORON Lisa

Let me get something straight, I made it clear that I'm going to take in a NASCAR race before the end of the year before completely writing it off and you claim that all athletes are hopped up on steroids, do drugs, rape women, and beat their girlfriends. I'm the narrow-minded one?

Oh God. Your hysterical. My bet is that this article was purely only to produce a reaction to your blah, blah, blah column.

Your right. It's not a sport. It's a way of life.
Angie

I don't write things just to get a reaction; I stand by what I write. That being said, I think you should go into the t-shirt business, I think that's a catchy phrase.

Just curious, isn't the Strongman competition a weightlifting competition? Last time I checked, weightlifting was recognized worldwide as an OLYMPIC sport Is there a Mark Chalifoux dictionary that I am not aware of? Just b/c you don't agree with the literal definition sport does not change the fact that motor sports does fit into the definition of a sport.

Kaye

I wouldn't consider the Strongman competition a sport, either. I'd call it an activity. That being said, by definition, NASCAR is a sport. But then you must open it up to other things, such as paintball. If NASCAR is a sport, then so is paintball. If you want to go that route, that's fine by me, but I draw the line somewhere.

Since you brought up the comparison of Jeff Gordon and Chad Johnson, I'll use them even though Jeff is not my favorite driver. You put Jeff and Chad in the exact same car with the exact same setup on a closed street and tell them to race, who would win. That argument is bogus. Of course a basketball player will beat a racecar driver in a game of basketball...duh it takes a college degree to figure that out for ya huh? Im sorry but you are blatently wrong on the car doing all the work or most of the work. Humans have to build it, maintain it, set it up to run fast and above all handle the thing on the track. It is powered by humans...with out a human it wouldn't go

Racer-26

No offense to you, racer, but what were your parents thinking when they named you that? Just to clarify things for those readers who may not know, Chad Johnson is a receiver for the Cincinnati Bengals, not a basketball player. As far the car thing goes, you have got to be kidding me. The only entirely human-powered car is the one from the Flintstones, where you have to pick it up and run in place to start it.

That's all the e-mails I can get to this week. Everyone who e-mails me will get a reply, the reason for the mailbag is just to clarify any misconceptions so people don't send the same e-mail 100 times. And I did get quite a few well thought-out arguments from NASCAR fans, they weren't all this bad.

For the record, I do plan to take in a race sometime this year and I'm planning on taking in the local track scene in Illinois and in LaCrosse, Wisconsin. Props to the people there for the invite and for using some thought in their e-mails.

The column will be back again next week and check out SportsRant.com on Thursday for the debut of my other weekly column, where I plan to tackle the pressing issues of hotdog-throwing fans and Ricky Williams' wisdom for monkeys, among other things.

Mark Chalifoux is also a weekly columnist for SportsFan Magazine. His columns appear every Tuesday on Sports Central. You can e-mail Mark at [email protected].

Posted by Mark Chalifoux at 12:29 PM | Comments (2)

May 23, 2005

And So it Begins: The End For Serena?

Extra, extra, read all about it! Serena Williams has withdrawn from the French Open. Gee, what a surprise. (Can you hear the sarcasm in my voice?)

After successfully completing another major tournament in Australia in January, all the media outlets were chirping like birds in spring. "Serena is back," or so they thought. You couldn't find one paper or magazine that didn't doubt that this time, Serena is back and wants to regain her top ranking and form. Well, except for me.

Let's face it, I've never been a Williams fan. So anything I say here I admit must be taken with that in mind. But let's be realistic, the Williams have never really given you anything to honestly cheer about. Yes, Venus and Serena are great players, and one-day Hall-of-Famers. Yes, they can be the most dominant force in tennis.

Serena shocked everyone by winning in Australia without playing a warm-up tournament and without much intense practice. While not unheard of, typically high-level professional athletes don't win major prizes without much practice or pre-tournament play. It wasn't exactly a cakewalk, but Serena showed that pound for pound, she is the best player on the women's tour. That is, when she wants to be.

I'm not going to ponder why she withdrew from the French, nor do I care. In truth, while injuries are the "reason," it's just as much a lack of interest. She hasn't really played all that much, and she hasn't trained as hard as she needs to. I know that there are those of you out there who will try to crucify me for stating the obvious, but tough.

2005 is the beginning of the end. Venus will hang about a year or two longer, but Serena is gone by Christmas, probably for good. Then we will all be beaten to death by Aneres fashions. We will see her on every tour stop with a pre-tournament fashion show. Then we will see Serena on TV or in the movies. Some banana-head studio exec is going to actually believe she can act (for me, the jury is still out) and try to cash in on her supposed "celebrity." Interestingly, without tennis, that celebrity will die, and a quick death at that.

Even Anna Kournikova is beginning to understand that. Anna is not a model, and no one treats her like a supermodel. No matter what she does, or where she goes, the word tennis is still associated with her.

I'm growing tired of reading about Serena. Was she really that good? We'll never really know. My favorite Swiss Miss (why, oh why did you leave me, Martina [Hingis]?) left the game too early. She had the gifts and talent to consistently go head-to-head with the banger sisters, but wasn't willing to put the work in to finish off her darn near complete tennis game. If she has pulled out the win at the Aussie against Jennie Cap that last time, maybe she would still be with us.

No, Martina didn't leave because of the power. Monica Seles hits as hard or harder than Serena and Venus. Heck, it ain't the second serve, either, as Ken Rosewall was a great champ without a power serve, and Elena Dementieva still beats great opponents even though her second serve is somewhere between non-existent and pathetic. Hingis could beat Dementieva in her sleep, still today.

So, Serena takes some more time off. Bet we see her dresses at some Paris fashion event during the tournament. And I bet we see her working on her other careers. Paris is one heck of a place to do it.

As I said, "so it begins..." Let's just see how long Serena stays around. My guess is not long. And that is just fine with me. See ya, Serena. It's been nice knowing you. Just do me and the rest of the tennis world a favor. Don't let the door hit you...

Posted by Tom Kosinski at 4:06 PM | Comments (5)

Arsonic: A Tale of Two Interleague Cities

Come Sunday, the New York Mets had a chance to win the interleague-opening series against the New York Yankees at Shea Stadium, and the Chicago Cubs wanted only to salvage the final game of a series in which the Chicago White Sox had fanned their behinds in the Friendly Confines.

And Pedro Martinez probably left the New York Yankees wondering, "We're his daddy?" He had pitched seven magnificent enough innings, less on the punchouts than on using his fielders reasonably enough, and he had left his Mets with a reasonable enough 3-1 lead when manager Willie Randolph awarded him his well-earned rest.

Martinez within less than an inning of his reprieve could have been forgiven, if the arson squad came to Shea asking for the names of the litterbugs and firebugs, and Martinez himself had finked them out.

Shortly thereafter, Brandon McCarthy, a White Sox rookie with a reputation for rapid minor league advancement and unhittability enough, found himself being given his much-deserved rest, with one out and one on in the bottom of the seventh, after he had kept the Cubs tame enough while his mates staked him to a 2-1 lead against Mark Prior.

And after the second out was recorded, McCarthy watched with possible thoughts of calling the arson squad himself, as his relief turned that 2-1 lead into a single and an into-the-crosswinds three-run bomb by Jason Dubois, turning that 2-1 lead into a snap 4-2 deficit.

Martinez had started his afternoon rightly enough, pitching into and out of two-out trouble in the top of the first with no damage, and pushing home the first run of the game himself in the bottom. Very well, he had a little help from Alex Rodriguez mishandling his rap up the third base line. But then he went back to his usual place of business and kept the Yankees quiet enough, while Jose Reyes slashed home David Wright with a second-inning single and Cliff Floyd planted one solo over the center field fence with one out in the third.

That was how simple it was for the Mets to squeeze the early 3-0 lead off Carl Pavano. Martinez was not exactly his own vintage, spreading the ground outs and the flyouts through his seven with only six punchouts on his time sheet, while Pavano had a baserunner in almost every inning except the fourth and the seventh. But this was a sunny Pedro afternoon clearly enough, Pavano seeming grateful just to keep the Mets from getting past a three-run head start.

Prior in Chicago started the White Sox off just right, dropping strike three in on leadoff pest Scott Podsednik and swishing Aaron Rowand in a sandwich around Tadahito Iguchi skying one shallow to left. McCarthy had just a little trouble with the Cubs in the bottom, though he started them rightly enough. He dropped strike three in on Jerry Hairston, Jr. before Neifi Perez lured Jermaine Dye and Rowand into a right center collision, Dye spearing the fly as Rowand passed behind him with glove brushing back.

Then Derrick Lee walked on a pitch McCarthy thought just might brush the floor of the zone, and the Cubs played a little run-and-hit, Lee taking off on the pitch and Jeromy Burnitz firing one right up the line and past the pad, Lee unable to score when the White Sox pulled a mild deke, causing him to stop a second around second before settling for third. It ended up costing the Cubs, however, when Aramis Ramirez hit one into the wind blowing right but enough toward deep left field and not enough to reach the ivy, and that was the side.

Prior left the White Sox hanging in the second, and Henry Blanco — spelling Michael Barrett behind the plate for the Cubs on the day — hung one into the left field bleachers with two out in the bottom. From there, Prior and McCarthy dueled with only the pitter-patter of little home run feet to interrupt most of the flow, not to mention Prior's groove, when Iguchi planted one into the basket with one out in the fourth and Dye (what a surprise, with two bombs already in the weekend series) planting one under the center field batting-eye foliage an inning later.

Hither Shea, the Yankees finally pried one out of Martinez when Tony Womack, playing left field with Hideki Matsui in right (spelling injured Gary Sheffield), opened the top of the sixth with a leadoff knock, stealing second as Robinson Cano (covering for Womack at second on the day) swished and coming home as A-Rod sliced one up the middle. But Matsui flew out to Floyd and Bernie Williams grounded out to former teammate Miguel Cairo at second, and the Mets still had a 3-1 advantage.

Dae-Sung Koo took over for Martinez in the top of the seventh and got one swift out before David Wright at third booted Womack's grounder and Reyes over from short mishandled a throw to second on a grounder from Ruben Sierra. As Derek Jeter, resting a sore elbow muscle (from a Kris Benson pitch in Saturday's Mets win), pinch ran, Koo came out, Roberto Hernandez came in, Womack and Jeter stole third and second, and — after A-Rod fouled out to the first base side — Matsui singled them both home, before Williams doubled him home. Hernandez swished Jason Giambi to end it, but the Yankees suddenly had a 4-3 lead.

Meanwhile, back in the Friendly Confines, the Cubs tried and failed to even it up in their half of the fifth. Hairston did his part with two out, rifling what looked like a straightaway bomb at first, until the ball hit just under the rim of the wall basket, with Podsednik in center unable to see the carom, then finding the ball on the ground and getting the ground rule double call. But Perez flared one to short enough left for the side.

The Cubs had to wait until the bottom of the sixth, and the wait was worth it when McCarthy speared Derrick Lee leading off, then got Burnitz to sky to left before manager Ozzie Guillen gave him his rest. In came Luis Vizcaino and at first, it looked simple when he got Aramis Ramirez to fly out. Where it became complicated was Cory Patterson's single to right setting up first and third, and Jason DuBois finding the right side of the crosswinds for a three-run bomb to just about the back of the bleachers. And just like that, Cubs manager Dusty Baker found himself on the right side of an arson attack for a change, the Cubs holding a tight 4-3 lead.

Meanwhile, back in Flushing Meadow, Mike DeJean came in to spell Hernandez and he, too, started off the right way, getting John Flaherty, catching in Jorge Posada's stead on the day, to ground out to Reyes at short. But Rudy Sanchez beat one out deep in the hole at short and, after a walk, Womack singled home Sanchez. DeJean got Tino Martinez, coming into the game late to spell Jason Giambi, to force Womack at second, but he walked A-Rod with Matsui coming up, and into the game came Aaron Heilman to keep Godzilla in the park on a deep fly to left. Except that The Mariano, looking a little more like The Mariano than he had done for awhile enough at the season's opening weeks, did what The Mariano has done customarily.

Yonder back to the Confines, if Brandon McCarthy could take any comfort it was that the Cubs probably had more well-practiced arsonists themselves. Except that Prior was probably thinking the same thing, short of not going out to pitch the ninth before he ripped the phone to the bullpen out of the dugout wall.

Paul Konerko made Prior work for his self-save with one out in the ninth, launching one onto Waveland Avenue. But A.J. Pierzynski skied one to Patterson in center, up came Dye, and up on their feet went the Wrigley crowd. And into the 0-2 hole Prior sent Dye in a hurry. He missed upstairs for ball one, then went down on the deck and drilled a hole into Dye's low-swinging bat for the game, 4-3.

"I told Bake and Larry (Rothschild, pitching coach) I wanted to finish it in the seventh inning," Prior drawled after the game.

He could say kinder things to himself than Pedro Martinez in New York, who could say only that, this time, it was not the Yankees spanking him to bump his winless streak against them to six with the 5-3 Mets loss. This time, Daddy spanked his brothers in arms, for playing with matches after littering their room.

Posted by Jeff Kallman at 3:40 PM | Comments (0)

I Hate Mondays: Protracted Playoffs

Sponsored by CyberSportsbook.com

At last, the Academy has announced the final four nominees vying for the NBA Championship Oscar. They are: the Detroit Pistons, the Miami Heat, the Phoenix Suns and the San Antonio Spurs.

And the award goes to...

While the victor is still to be determined, one thing is for certain: this procedure has sure taken a while to get to this point.

The protracted process, better known as the NBA playoffs, has become an elongated spectacle. The first two rounds have exhausted nearly a month of our time and each game has become long-drawn-out like an Oscars show.

Measures have been taken to condense the prominent film awards show by presenting less important trophies pre-show and by honoring winners directly in the audience so maybe it's time the pinnacle of basketball productions followed their example.

The NBA need not cut the dancing and singing — they just need to invite fewer guests to the show.

Would anyone really mind if the number seven and number eight seeds from each conference were cast away?

The deficient foursome of sevens and eights this year, the Memphis Grizzlies, the Denver Nuggets, the New Jersey Nets, and the Philadelphia 76ers combined for a miniscule two wins in the playoffs — the same number of wins that last year's seven and eight seeds managed. The last time a low-level seed actually survived the first round was way back in 1999, when a miracle last-second shot by Allan Houston in the fifth and deciding game propelled the New York Knicks into the second round.

By my calculations, that makes the bottom two seeds off of each conference's playoff roster an embarrassing 1-27 in their last 28 series.

The NBA playoffs have been irrelevant up until this point since the expected has occurred. There have only been two triumphant underdogs in a best-of-seven series to this point, the Indiana Pacers and the Washington Wizards, but both teams had a regular season record within two games of the team they upset. Put it this way, it wasn't exactly Judy Holliday over Gloria Swanson.

The second round of the playoffs was better, but not by much. It resembled what the first round should look like. The two dogs that did slip through the cracks were filtered immediately as Washington couldn't even win a single game against the Shaq-less Heat. Furthermore, no lower seed was able to win a third game in any of the four second round series.

Since the favorites are so dominant, obviously it's time for some editing.

The National Football League only admits six teams from each conference into the postseason while Major League Baseball only permits four. To contrast, the NBA allows 16 out of a possible 30 teams to enter the playoff tournament, that's almost 54% of the whole league. The only other major sport that authorizes that many playoff entries is the National Hockey League – and we all know where they are right now.

In the NFL or MLB, making the playoffs is a cherished achievement like an Oscar nomination because admissions are not very common. If you reach that benchmark, you rank amongst the cream of the crop. In the NBA, more than half the league is in the second season so making it has deflated value, like winning a Teen Choice Award.

Nobody will miss sevens and eights.

Prolonged awards shows and prolonged playoffs mix like Monday and me.

"I don't know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everybody." — Bill Cosby

Don't miss next week's installment of "I Hate Mondays," sponsored by CyberSportsbook.com, a great sportsbook for horse racing and casino action!

Posted by Dave Golokhov at 11:43 AM | Comments (0)

May 21, 2005

A Jaded Look at the NBA Playoffs

On behalf of the millions of sports fans in an around the Los Angeles area, when speaking of the NBA it becomes imperative to appropriate a phrase from the ever-astute Ron Livingston of "Office Space" fame: it's not that were lazy here in Los Angeles, it's that we just don't care.

Let me explain:

2004-05 NBA Most Valuable Player Steve Nash and the Phoenix Suns (tops in the NBA this season with a 62-20 regular season record) are playing a high-octane brand of basketball never before seen on hardwood. Sorry Steve, don't care.

Second-year phenom Dwyane Wade and the Miami Heat have parlayed a regular season Eastern Conference title and an impressive 59-23 record to consecutive sweeps of the New Jersey Nets and the Washington Wizards in the playoffs. With all due respect Mr. Wade, if the degree to which we cared were to be quantified in terms of basketball talent, we'd have to go with somebody along the lines of Tom Tolbert.

Many sports pundits are saying the San Antonio Spurs' motley crew of Tim Duncan (a Virgin Islands native), Manu Ginobili (an Argentina native), and Tony Parker (a France native) are the next closest thing the NBA has to a dynasty; I really don't know how they say this in other parts of the world guys, but here in Los Angeles, we really don't care.

And, finally, the 2003-2004 NBA champion Detroit Pistons are making another run at a title by returning all five starters from a year ago, including three-time Defensive Player of the Year Ben Wallace (2001-02, 2002-03, 2004-05), but we sure hope Big Ben doesn't start to get all defensive on us when we reiterate to him the fact that, like Shawn Kemp for his gaggle of children, we just don't care.

I may sound divisive to those of you from the obsolete places of the country like, I don't know, the state of Connecticut, but I can assure you this is not the case. All of you geographically challenged NBA fans out there must keep in mind that Tinseltown has just recently endured an offseason steeped with tragedy more poignant than Shakespeare's "Coriolanus" (which I regretfully have had the leisure to read now that the NBA is dead in Los Angeles).

Take away Shaquille O'Neal, Phil Jackson, Karl Malone, Derek Fisher, Rick Fox, Gary Payton, and the oodles of victories that came along with these ex-Lakers, and take away any adjectives synonymous with passionate and replace them with apathetic when talking about the state of the NBA in Los Angeles.

As trite and meaningless as the lives we lead are in a city defined more by the 4 AM traffic jams and the carcinogenic particulate in the air than anything else, those 41-plus games at Staples Center every year once enabled us — excluding Jack Nicholson, of course — to maintain that elusive semblance of sanity.

Like Vin Baker and his booze, like Marv Albert and the rug, we in Los Angeles need the Lakers. Where else but at a Lakers playoff game will I be able to gawk at a pair of A-list actresses — miss you, Penelope [Cruz] — with a telescopic pair of binoculars without being paired up in the ol' slammer with a guy who looks, speaks and acts like Stephen Jackson of the Indiana Pacers? From the looks of things, though, that might not even be so bad. The way Jackson shot against the Pistons these past couple weeks — a combined 30-for-87 from the field in six playoff games for a .345 shooting percentage only his mother could love — I would at least have the best jump shot in the cell.

I truly don't know what was a more traumatic experience for me, the day Lakers owner Jerry Buss teamed up with Lakers General Manager Mitch Kupchak to trade Shaquille O'Neal to the Miami Heat (who have, in turn, become the most feared team in the NBA), or the day my last girlfriend teamed up with the festering callus which is woman nature and left me for, and I quote, "...paying more attention every morning to the Lakers box score than me!"

I really wanted to ask her if she had ever seen herself in the morning, but I didn't have the heart — instead, I asked her if she knew how many dimes Luke Walton dropped against the Nuggets the night before. In disgust, she jumped out of the Ron Harper slippers I had bought her higher than Slava Medvedenko in a zero gravity chamber. How was I supposed to know she wasn't a Luke Walton fan?

I guess it was for the best, though. If she didn't understand the true importance of talent-thin underdogs like Walton who get paid to sit around and watch other people work for a living, then how would she even begin to understand me?

I am a professional, though, and I do work hard from time to time, so I actually decided to watch an NBA game or two for the purposes of this column. Because my apartment mixed with NBA basketball reminded me too much of the times that once were, along with the Scrooge incarnate which was the girlfriend, I decided to walk to the closest sports bar and catch the respective Game 6s of the Detroit Pistons/Indiana Pacers and the San Antonio Spurs/Seattle SuperSonics series (note: SuperSonics is the worst team name in all of sports next to the Mighty Ducks).

By the end of the first game, I was still quasi-sober (that whole professional thing went out the proverbial window when I got a waft of Bass Ale and Buffalo Wings), so I actually became a bit touched with the way Piston coach Larry Brown and his team sent legendary sharpshooter Reggie Miller into retirement with an impromptu standing ovation with under a minute to play, the Pistons having already clinched the series.

Sycophantic color commentator Al Michaels said Miller had planned on moving to his home in Malibu, CA and possibly pursuing sports commentary as a second career. And really, I'd be honored to work in the same field as Miller. I'd love to take the guy out to lunch a few times. Sitting at the bar, I wanted to do my altruistic deed of the day and offer the lanky Pacer my plate of wings as his frame has always reminded me of one of those feed-the-needy infomercials on PBS. It troubled me that everyone watching at the bar seemed to think Miller walked off the court for the final time in tears because it was his last moment as an NBA player — the cranky NBA veteran just needed some sustenance.

By the second game, I was really quite intoxicated and, as you'd expect, my observations took a pugilistic turn for the worse: I must admit, I am more and more impressed with Manu Ginobili's game every time I watch him play. Over the past few years, he has gone from a role player on a very good team, to the star of Argentina's gold medal team in the 2004 Athens Olympics, to what I believe to be one of the most underappreciated athletes in all of sports.

As I sat with my Bass Ale (I had already given up the wings at that point in homage to the famished Miller), I finally realized in an epiphany of sorts that the catalyst for Ginobili's emergence as a star in the NBA was his hair: the worse and worse his progressively thinning hair gets, it seemed to me, the better he plays. With a comb-over that defied all of the most basic laws of physics, Ginobili deftly connected with teammate Tim Duncan in the waning seconds of a tie game to give the Spurs a 98-96 game and 4-2 series victory, sending them to the Western Conference Finals against the winner of the Phoenix Suns/Dallas Mavericks series.

This brings up a rather compelling question: if poor coiffure is really the reason for stellar play this year in the NBA, then how will the series pan out if Ginobili's Spurs are matched up with Steve Nash — who is in a dead heat at this point with Ginobili for the 2004-05 Most in Need of a Makeover Award — and the Suns? Only time will tell, I suppose. And if we in Los Angeles actually cared enough to watch the series (which we don't), we might even be able to come up with a good hair idea or two for the guys.

Until then, let's hope Jerry Buss and Mitch Kupchak are finished capitulating to Kobe Bryant and get the ball rolling this summer by signing Phil Jackson to the sizeable multi-year deal he has earned. If not, next season, like this one, will be about as engaging as sending a phallic fruit through the pickle slicer.

Posted by Kevin Connelly at 4:59 PM | Comments (10)

The Force is With Us

I arrived at the Uptown Theater in Washington, DC at about 8:30 on Thursday morning, saving a place for 15 friends in the line for a noon showing of Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith.

George Lucas' six films span my entire life. My mother likes to talk about how I was "in her belly" when Episode IV debuted in 1977. (A friend recently pointed out that this was complete rubbish, because Star Wars came out on Memorial Day and I was born on March 20th. Since I know my mother is never wrong about anything, obviously they celebrated Memorial Day in February that year.)

I am an unabashed Star Wars geek — the guy with the action figures on his desk at work and the Darth Vader picture in his bedroom. The guy who could go an entire day just speaking dialogue from the films. The guy who has chunks of John Williams's score for the movies playing in his head on a continual loop.

(Before you ask: Yes, I do get laid. Occasionally.)

Standing on line at the Uptown, I had some time to think. About fanaticism. About devotion to what some might feel is a superfluous distraction.

You know ... Star Wars nerds and sports fans really do have a lot in common.

Star Wars fans play Wookie Hooky. Sports fans get Doubleheader Diarrhea.

Star Wars fans have to put up with accusations that they are geeks and dweebs who live in their parents' basement. Sports fans have to put up with accusations that they are geeks and dweebs who live in their parents' basement ... but only because that's where the DirecTV receiver is.

Star Wars has Mos Eisley, which is described as a "wretched hive of scum and villainy." Sports fans have the bleachers at Yankee Stadium (home, naturally, to the Evil Empire).

Revisionist History

Some people loathed Episodes I and II, mainly because the films didn't live up to what they believe are the standards of the Original Trilogy.

"The acting was wooden." "The script was atrocious." "The story was too childish."

I guess some people just choose to forget Carrie Fisher. And "but I was going into Toshi Station to pickup some power converters!" And the fact that the Emperor's best troops were defeated by a bunch of Build-A-Bear rejects throwing rocks at their blast-proof armor. But I digress...

The point is that for both Star Wars fans and sports fans, nostalgia makes the heart grow fonder. Is a prequel-hater extolling the virtues of Lawrence Kasden's script contributions on The Empire Strikes Back any different than a basketball fan ranting about how much better the game was when Magic and Bird were playing? Not only is the comparison selective (for every Magic and Bird, there was a Dennis Hopson and Benoit Benjamin), but it also establishes a standard that isn't easily achieved upon a second attempt. Okay, so there's no "join me and together we will rule the galaxy as father and son" Shakespearean bombast worth remembering from the first two prequels. But what did you want ... Jar-Jar Binks not to have any lines?

***

Star Wars has the Millenium Falcon, a ship that made the kessel run in less then 12 parsecs. Sports fan have John Madden, who can eat a casserole in less than two bites.

Star Wars fans watch action that takes place "a long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away." Sports fans watch tape-delayed Olympics.

Star Wars fans bemoan the fact that Greedo shoots first. Sports fans bemoan the fact that Erick Dampier shoots at all.

Gear

There were two different instances this year here in the Washington, DC area in which legions of geeks filled local retail outlets. The first was the release of the Washington Nationals' officially-licensed gear. Everyone wanted the t-shirts and the sweatshirts and those hooded windbreakers. But what these baseball-starved fans really wanted were those hats. Those glorious, glorious ballcaps that serve both as collectors' items and status symbols. And not just any hat; sure, the blue cap with the white "W" was pretty bitchin', but anyone whose anyone wanted to rock that bright red hat the ballplayers were wearing down in spring training.

The other instance of geek shopping spree was when they released the first wave of Star Wars Episode III merchandise. Everyone wanted the t-shirts and the sweatshirts and those replica lightsabers. But what these Jedi-starved fans really wanted were those action figures. Those glorious, glorious action figures that serve both as collectors' items and status symbols. And not just any figures; sure, the new General Grievous figure is pretty bitchin', but anyone whose anyone wanted but one thing from the Episode III toy line: Darth Tater, the evil Sith Lord/Mr. Potato Head, who you could dress in a Vader cape and a red lightsaber, along with bright pink ears and a little red tongue sticking out of his mouth.

***

Star Wars fans have waited three Episodes for Anakin to go to the dark side. Sports fans have waited three Super Bowls for Bill Belichick to lighten up.

Star Wars fans had Chewbacca and Jabba the Hutt. Sports fans had Gheorghe Muresan and Jerry Krause.

***

Have I mentioned a certain shared tradition with both fan bases?

Meaning

In both Star Wars and in sports, there's a yearning desire — especially by the media — to turn what is diversionary entertainment into some sort of parable for our times.

While there's no doubt that Star Wars is a work influenced by political history (Richard Nixon, mostly), Episode III is not, as some media have inferred, a "[George W.] Bush bashing" movie. Lucas has said that he's concerned that some of the themes presented in films have eerie similarities to the current state of affairs in American domestic and foreign policy, but that's far from what some have accused him of with this film; which is basically making a space opera version of Fahrenheit 911. I just don't buy that. If that's what you get out of it, then perhaps that's what you're looking to get out of it.

Same thing goes for sports. Are steroids a microcosm of a larger cultural issue concerning integrity, or lack thereof, in our society? No more so than Mickey Mantle drinking his liver into mush was a thumbnail of a culture of alcoholism in the 1950s.

I'm not trying to say that you can't find some interesting insight and wisdom about racism and classism in sports, or that you can't draw some conclusions about spirituality or corruption of power from Star Wars.

But in the immortal words of Ham Salad in the immortal Star Wars parody Hardware Wars: "Relax, kid ... it's only a movie."

***

So, was Sith any good?

Absolutely. Better than the last two, and Jedi. The final two fights that Lucas intercuts between at the end of the flick are about 20 minutes of the most intense, sustained action since Luke in the Death Star trench back in '77.

But what made the movie for me were the slew of little humorous moments and geek-friendly details that made the first three films such a pleasure to watch and watch again. I'd buy the Sith DVD just for the R2-D2 comedy set piece at the beginning of the film, for the four-lightsaber twirling Grievous attack, and for the way Yoda turns into The Terminator on a few occasions. Not to mention the incredible descent of Anakin from whiny bitch boy into intergalactic badass.

So yeah, it was good. Damn good.

Greg Wyshynski is also a weekly columnist for SportsFan Magazine. His columns appear every Saturday on Sports Central. You can e-mail Greg at [email protected].

Posted by Greg Wyshynski at 4:38 PM | Comments (0)

May 20, 2005

The Danica Mania at Indy

What the IndyCars series wants is the universal appeal of the Indy 500 being restored. From flash-bulbs popping, Sharpies-wielding fans sticking their faces like celluloid on the catch-fence at the Speedway, to airwaves on the 500 filling across the better part of the globe, to radio talk shows kibitzing on the 500. Currently, the buzz is hovering somewhere down South in one quaint old place in Florida. Need anymore clues?

And to achieve that, the IndyCars series needs an American woman driver to win the 500 (read: Danica Patrick). Okay, that's a subtle way of putting another 15 tons of pressure on that sleek figure, which's almost carrying a burden of hope like Atlas did in Greek Mythology. But having seen her handle questions from the media like swatting flies, this wouldn't change her a wee bit. More so, this might be the umpteenth time someone's prepared to wager on Danica.

She's already the toast of Indianapolis, the Midwest probably, and the darling of the media. Sample a couple of headlines that ran across the major newspapers across the United States after pole day. "Kanaan takes pole, while Danica is a disappointing fourth ran," said one newspaper. "Danica starts from the second row," said another.

A disappointing fourth — you must be kidding. For a rookie to start just behind the three IndyCar champions is God-sent. But not for Danica. America wants Danica to deliver. And now expectations are soaring high for this young driver from Roscoe, IL, who is suddenly being hailed the Annika Sorenstam of open-wheel racing.

Of all the women who have sauntered on a race suit and have been shoehorned into the cockpit of an IndyCar at the Brickyard, Danica looks a sure-bet for the win. She has got the composure, the mental make-up, the right equipment, an all-encompassing team owner, and more than an adept crew at her call. In a nutshell, it's called a winning unit. Or in rock music-speak, a tight band.

The work that this team has done in the garages and the countless hours Bobby Rahal and Co. have spent scouting have paid off. Already, priceless nuggets are being carved by this comely 23-year-old. Who holds the fastest speed at the track, who holds the fastest one-lap record on qualifying, who is the fastest woman at the Speedway? To all these questions, there is only one answer — Danica Patrick.

With Rahal Letterman Racing, Danica has found an abode where she has a legitimate shot at winning. Wonder if she is dreaming about how to open a bottle of milk come May 29 (weather permitting, that is). Not to be embarrassed, just in case.

But to do that, she has to overcome certain hurdles. She is racing against some of the top names in the field. Leading the contingent is Tony Kanaan, who looks a cross between Vin Diesel and Joe Satriani. Then there is Sam Hornish, Jr., hoping to break his duck at the Brickyard, and who could very well be the sentimental favorite. Scott Sharp suddenly looks to be the darkhorse. But Honda power and a new team have given the spark that this former co-champion craved.

To Danica's amazement, she's got some exalted company. Two-time Indy 500 champion Helio Castroneves' largesse (or is that insatiable appetite?) gave Danica a move up in the starting grid, but Castroneves is sure to crowd her mirrors. Bet against the Spiderman giving any tips to Danica.

Granted piloting an IndyCar at the Speedway is not such a horrendous act like what Lara Croft had to endure in England and in South East Asia, but Danica might very well fancy her to be the racing version of this gaming icon.

If Danica does it May 29, then it's not just going to be a major fillip to the IRL community, but several women's rights group would soon throng her cavalcade and don't be surprised if you spot Martha Stewart at the camping grounds on Georgetown Road just before race day.

Posted by Venkat Ganesan at 7:46 PM | Comments (2)

Istanbul Cup: The First, Hopefully Not Last

This week was my lucky week as a tennis fan/coach. I witnessed history in the making. It included a lot of "firsts" for a country that has never been host to a major calendar ATP/WTA Tour event prior to this week.

I am talking about Istanbul Cup, a $200,000 WTA Tier 3 clay-court tournament taking place this week in Turkey. Held in a picturesque city that connects two continents together, the Istanbul Cup is drawing much interest from fans, media, and sponsors. It's the first Sony Ericsson WTA Tour organized by Turkish people, despite a few aches and pains, the effort put forth by the organizers is remarkable.

For those who have never been to Istanbul, this giant city, with a population nearing 15 million, is situated on the northwest quarter of Turkey and is divided between two continents with a slight majority of its area in Europe. It is connected by two suspension bridges that hold more traffic daily than perhaps Manhattan's busiest street.

Ask any two tennis players in the world, past or present, if they ever held a rally on a court hitting the ball back and forth across two continents. You would think that is a silly question, correct? After all, we are not in the Star Trek era where we can beam people or objects back and forth at warp speed, right?

Ipek Senoglu of Turkey and Venus Williams of the USA can tell you otherwise.

In an incredible promotional event on Sunday morning, one side of one of the two bridges was closed (last time this happened was a few years back when George Bush visited Istanbul and crossed the bridge under extreme security) and a temporary tennis court was set up mid-way on the bridge, effectively allowing Ipek and Venus to play tennis across two continents, literally hitting the ball back and forth between Europe and Asia.

Ipek was full of joy, expressing her hope to the cameras that the event would result in all the Turkish boys and girls watching the event to take up a tennis racket and one day become champions. A graduate of Pepperdine University and now living in Turkey, she is doing a lot to help the cause herself. Last year, she became the first Turkish female tennis player to have played main draw in Grand Slams, in fact reaching the third round in the U.S. Open doubles draw with partner Laura Granville.

Venus was absolutely ecstatic about the event, giving ball boys high-fives and waving at people watching, holding a grand smile. She was an excellent sport overall and had nothing but positive things to say to the cameras about the event, the city, and the country. Never mind that she is receiving a six-figure appearance payment to play the event, she was genuinely happy about being part of history.

Also, during the tournament, she has been going out her way to accommodate the endless number of kids who want her autograph wherever she walks, always smiling at the cameras during interviews, and even doing an extended version of her on-the-court usual swirl immediately following the handshake after her match while sending kisses to the crowd.

People have their opinions of Venus Williams, but rest assured, she has been a top-class act so far this week. Tournament organizers were especially happy when they watched Venus lose only three games in her first two rounds to move on to the semis. The draw for the tournament is solid. At the time of this article, Venus was scheduled to play qualifier Tsvetana Pironkova (who defeated three top-100 players, including sixth-seed Meghann Shaughnessy) in one semis, while second-seed Czech teen star Nicole Vaidisova is scheduled to play third-seed Anna Smashnova of Israel in the other. Already out, are fourth-seed Lisa Raymond and Anna Lena Groenefeld.

We know some people who will be happy to see Venus go all the way: Turkish tennis fans, the tournament director Ilyas Islamoglu, and the sponsors of the tournament.

Yet the most important figure in this equation, Ahmet Kurtulus Birader, deserves a lot of credit. Backed by a major construction and banking firm, he had the vision to back such tournament financially, though most of the groundwork was done earlier that summer with major help from Pat Cash, who spent a whole summer in Turkey during 2004. Cash was instrumental in obtaining the date to hold the tournament through WTA in the early stages of the tournament's birth. Following few major disagreements, he later distanced and separated himself from the tournament's developmental project.

Ahmet's vision is actually bigger than this first time around. The tournament is taking place at a beautiful site in the city, right by the sea, on the tennis courts temporarily built at a major hotel. Nevertheless, the location itself is also temporary. A very social and friendly man, Ahmet's vision includes building the event up even more, eventually opening up a major facility with multiple courts as a permanent home for Istanbul Cup.

A few problems inevitably exist, such as the fact that anyone wishing to buy tickets on site has to go through one person selling tickets through a laptop and a slow connection, which means if you are the 13th person in line, it could take you about 20 minutes to get your ticket and go in. Also, the sponsors tent leaves a lot to be desired, along with the organization for accreditation of passes and people sitting in their seats. We could cite a few more minor conflicts, however, these are all expected when you are hosting a tournament of this magnitude for the first time and possible to overcome when people's intentions are "all good."

Also happy about Turkey hosting of this tournament is Erhan Oral, the Turkish Fed Cup coach, who is also coaching Pemra Ozgen, a rising and talented star from Turkey. In singles, Pemra lost first round along with the only other Turkish player in singles, Cagla Buyukaycay. Oral believes in these two Fed Cup players (Senoglu is another one), they may have lost their matches, but gained a world of experience, too.

"Pemra (Ozgen) is a tremendous talent who needs more competition of this kind. Barring unfortunate injuries, it is a matter of time before she can compete at this level," he explains. "We have made a full schedule for the summer and have high expectations."

Ozgen herself admitted that she was a bit nervous in the beginning of the match but, "felt better as the games went by." As to Buyukakcay, Oral remained very positive, but cautiously added that, "just this time around, young Cagla may have been overwhelmed by the occasion and the skill level present in the tournament."

The Turkish contingency is faring better in doubles with Ozgen and her partner still in the tournament and Senoglu having reached the quarterfinals in doubles with her partner before losing in three sets to the Austrian Klemenschits sisters.

One can only hope that this week results in complete success by all accounts, that Mr. Birader is happy, that Coach Oral sees more opportunities develop for his players, that for the sake of ticket sales and attendance (i.e. no disrespect to Pironkova) Venus goes to the finals, and that Ozgen and her partner reach the finals in doubles. More importantly, one hopes that the financial figures add up in a positive manner when it's all said and done, resulting in the ultimate decision to turn the event into an annual happening and grow in popularity since all the ingredients are already present.

Once that occurs, perhaps you the reader could make plans in 2006 to attend this wonderful WTA Tour event in this fantastic, historical city that will leave you breathless, while enjoying top-level tennis competition.

Posted by Mert Ertunga at 7:23 PM | Comments (4)

Yankees Will Find Middle Ground

Tino Martinez is not this good. And Bernie Williams is not this bad.

Just like the Yankees aren't as good as their recent winning streak would lead you to believe. And not as bad as their stumbles out of the gate seemed to indicate.

That's what happens in a 162-game season. The highest of highs and the lowest of lows. What happens in between is what defines a team. Stat people call it reverting to the mean. In a long season, a team generally lives up to what it is, with highs and lows balancing out in the end.

This is what the Yankees are: a good team, not a great team. A contending team, but not a shoo-in to run away with the division. In other words, not as good as George Steinbrenner's wildest dreams and not as bad as his worst nightmares.

It shouldn't come as a surprise. All the bluster of the Yankees' last two offseasons — namely the earth-shattering acquisitions of A-Rod and Randy Johnson — has masked the fact that the Yankees are not the healthiest of organizations. They spend big, they spend unwisely, they don't build from within, and they make a whole lot of rash decisions.

It's kind of a firecracker philosophy. It burns bright and makes people say ooh and aah, but it burns out quickly. Because Steinbrenner has loads of money to pump into the team and loads of influence over general manager Brian Cashman, he's able to keep the firecracker going longer than it should. But it's hard to sustain something when it's fading. That's what the Yankees are finding out this season.

With no farm system to speak of, the Yankees are forced to rely on free agency. Bad decisions are bound to happen. Cases in point: Tony Womack, Carl Pavano, and Jaret Wright. The Yankees hoped Womack would fill a hole at second base. He hasn't come, through, and maybe the Yankees should have seen it coming. Womack is not young. And while he had a career year last season, it was just that — a career year. Add to that the fact that he's had most of his success in the National League, and you've got a recipe for disappointment.

Pavano has been solid for the Yankees, but hardly as spectacular as he was last season with the Marlins. That, too, might not be a surprise. Pavano had never been spectacular before last season, so it was a stretch to expect him to be spectacular again.

And Wright is perhaps the worst signing of all. He excelled last season in a place where it seems any pitcher can excel — in Atlanta, under the magic fingers of Leo Mazzone. Never mind the fact that he hadn't been a consistent starting pitcher since he was flamethrowing rookie for the Indians. The Yankees spent money on him, and before he went down with an injury, he was struggling mightily.

But those mistakes haven't been the only source of trouble. The Yankees lineup isn't nearly as powerful as it once was. First base was a question mark until Martinez stepped up. Second base isn't yet settled. And we've already seen what can happen when a few key guys go cold.

Pitching isn't spectacular, either. The Big Unit is still the best pitcher in baseball, but the guys behind him in the rotation are inconsistent. The bullpen is a mess, and even Mariano Rivera has looked human.

It all amounts to a good team, but not a great team. They have too much talent to struggle mightily, but too many question marks to run away with the division. And it doesn't help the Yankees that the Red Sox aren't worried about that whole curse thing anymore and that the Orioles finally got some pitching to bolster their murderer's row lineup.

It doesn't help the Yankees, but it does help baseball. As fun as it can be to have an evil empire, it's even more fun to beat that empire.

Posted by William Geoghegan at 6:55 PM | Comments (0)

May 19, 2005

The Return of Sweetness?

I can't say I've ever been anything but suspicious or even contemptuous of the sons of players and coaches who make their way to the big stage.

Is that fair of me? The offspring of coaches and legends never have it easy. Saul Smith had it rough playing basketball at Kentucky. Pete Rose, Jr. was often heckled and never accomplished much with his baseball career. The list goes on.

I guess the thinking is, even if the son does prove himself (the quickest example I can think of is Bobby Bonds) son, we still wonder, "Would they have been given the opportunity to excel if not for the famous dad?"

If USC is weighing whom to offer baseball scholarships, and it's between my kid, who bats .450, and Joe Legend's kid, who bats .425, who do you think gets the scholarship?

That injustice (or rather, just the mere possibility of it) rankles me and leads me uncharitable, heckling thoughts to these kids.

But of course, it's never Joe Legend's fault, or his son's. It's the system. USC knows that Joe Legend, Jr. will put more butts in the seats and more crisp bills in the Athletic Department's coffers. The old (well, not really so old) adage of "Don't hate the player, hate the game" applies here.

And I think I've found a Joe Legend, Jr. to like.

You probably know him, and you definitely knew his dad.

He has a very tenuous grip on a roster spot with the Tennessee Titans, where he spent all of last year on the practice squad.

He's being asked to slug it out and prove himself overseas.

And that's what he's doing, with the Amsterdam Admirals of NFL Europe.

His dad, Joe Legend, in addition to being arguably the best running back ever, was also one of the most beloved figures of the game. He even hosted "Saturday Night Live." And then he died way too young of something called Primary Sclerosing Cholangitis.

You know by now that I'm referring to Jarrett Payton, son of Walter.

I don't know if the University of Miami did anything for him that they wouldn't have done for the average kid, but the fact of the matter is, they didn't hand him the starting tailback job when they felt they had better options.

Fact of the matter is, he didn't gripe when he went undrafted in 2003, despite leading the Hurricanes in rushing his senior season.

Fact of the matter is, he didn't gripe when he spent the whole of last year on the Titans taxi squad.

And now he's making the most of his opportunity in Europe. How does 6.2 yards per carry, best in NFL Europe, grab you? Or fifth in the league in overall rushing yards? Or tied for second in touchdowns? Third in total yards from scrimmage?

The stat that really jumps out at me is that 6.2 YPC. The next best out of the top-10 rushers in NFL Europe is 5.3, which is impressive enough. 6.2 is the kind of number high school kids post when they're far better than anyone else on the field.

It still won't be easy for Payton to latch on to the Titans and get carries. Besides the fact the the Titans retain 1,000-yard rusher Chris Brown, as well as Robert Holcombe, who had a couple nice years with the Rams, but Tennessee also holds the rights to the leading rusher in NFL Europe: Rhein rusher Joe Smith. He's considered a longshot to even make the roster.

But considering what he's done on the field, under the circumstances he's done them, dealing with the shadow of a legendary father and then the death of one, who would bet against him?

Posted by Kevin Beane at 12:52 PM | Comments (3) | TrackBack

Pacers' Rick Carlisle Got Robbed

Rick Carlisle was robbed.

It's that simple, folks. There are no other ways to explain the ridiculous notion that Phoenix Suns coach Mike D'Antoni was the best coach in the NBA this season. It's false, wrong, stupid, and idiotic to think scoring and records should be the sole barometer that measures the effectiveness of a coach in any sport, let alone the NBA. And I'm sorry if there are those who think D'Antoni's selection as Coach of the Year was based on anything else.

Now don't get me wrong, D'Antoni did an excellent job this season. After the Suns acquired Steve Nash and Quentin Richardson last offseason, D'Antoni was able to instill his up-tempo, fast break-style offense. An offense many observers didn't think would work in today's NBA. A style of play not seen in the league since Pat Riley and Magic Johnson's "Showtime" Los Angeles Lakers teams in the 1980s. But with D'Antoni calling the shots and Nash conducting the steam roller known as the Phoenix Suns, the Suns stormed their way to the league's best record, averaging a league-leading 110 points per game.

But while D'Antoni's Suns were winning games with a relative ease out West, one event on a November night in Detroit changed the scope of another team's season. The November 19 brawl between the Pacers and Pistons at the Palace of Auburn Hills transformed the Pacers from title contenders into a team just trying to survive on a nightly basis.

The season-long suspension of Pacers forward Ron Artest and the lengthy suspensions of Jermaine O'Neal and Stephen Jackson forced coach Rick Carlisle to start a lineup of no-name players and a veteran in his last tour of duty with NBA. But Carlisle got maximum effort from his team and the Pacers stayed competitive. Indiana managed to stay within striking distance of a playoff spot for most of the season, despite having to rely on players who hadn't seen much playing time on an NBA court.

Carlisle got the most out of second-year player James Jones, who actually became the Pacers' leading scorer during Indiana's run without its top performers. The Pacers also received solid contributions from veterans Austin Croshere, Jeff Foster, and "Mr. Reliable," Reggie Miller. Miller's resurgence during the Pacers' tough time proved to be one of the more surprising stories of the season. Prior to the "Malice at the Palace," Killer Miller looked like a player in the twilight of his career. But the incident in Detroit changed his season and fans started to see the player who broke hearts in New York as if it were his job.

Carlisle kept the Pacers in the playoff hunt until O'Neal and Jackson's suspensions were lifted and as the season wound down, the Pacers even had a chance to have home-court in the first round of the playoffs. But an injury to Jermaine O'Neal's shoulder late in the season derailed any hopes of home court for the Pacers, who settled for the sixth seed in the eastern conference. If securing a playoff berth with a shorthand roster for most of the season wasn't enough, Carlisle and his staff added an extra accomplishment to their season by guiding the Pacers to a seven-game first round series win over the Celtics.

I know the voting was somewhat close. D'Antoni received 326 points and 41 first-place votes, while Carlisle received 241 points and 26 first-place votes. Now you non-believers should consider this stat. Ron Artest, who only played seven games this season finished as the Pacers leading scorer from a statistical standpoint. He lead the team in points per game (24.6) and minutes per game (41.6) before his suspension. O'Neal finished a close second with 24.3 points per game in only 44 games played, while Jackson averaged 18.7 in 51 games played.

Bottom line, Carlisle accomplished a lot more with a lot less than D'Antoni did this season. Imagine the Suns having to play without Nash, Richardson, and Amare Stoudemire for a significant amount the season.

That's what I thought.

Posted by Andre Watson at 12:35 PM | Comments (2)

NASCAR Top 10 Power Rankings: Week 11

Note: The quotes in this article are fictional.

1. Jimmie Johnson — Like a blistered, right front tire after 30 laps of hard racing on a track of sand paper, Johnson is losing his grip ... on his points lead, that is, and possibly his sanity. Saturday in Richmond, on lap 80, Johnson checked up on an incident in front of him, then was bumped from behind and booted into the infield wall. As his car hobbled to the pits, brake failure resulted in another meeting with the wall, and Johnson's day was done. A 40th-place finish left Johnson clinging to a precarious 41-point lead over second-place Greg Biffle, and longing for a drink, preferably a Harvey Wallbanger.

"I'm still standing better than I ever did," notes Johnson. "Looking like a true survivor, feeling like a little kid. Don't you know I'm still standing..."

Okay, Jimmie. I don't know if you realize it, but you're quoting Elton John there. Sure, the words fit, but I'm sure Elton had something a little less manly than NASCAR when he uttered those words.

"Okay, then I'll say this. I guarantee that I will not relinquish my points lead before the field is set for the Chase for the Cup."

I tend to agree with Johnson. That's why he's still number one in the power rankings. By my rationale, the points leader should be number one regardless of any slump he's facing. Forty-one points is not a huge lead; it's not a small lead; but it is a lead. You would certainly have the points leader after one race on top of your power rankings, even with less than a 41-point lead. Why should it be different after 11 races?

Lowe's Motor Speedway has to be a sight for sore eyes to Johnson. This is the track that will get his game back on track. Johnson has won three of the last four Cup races at Charlotte, including a pole at last year's Coca-Cola 600. Johnson's major sponsor, Lowe's, has their name all over the track. Johnson will bump up his points lead to a more secure margin, and he might even win the all-star event before that.

2. Greg Biffle — Lately, Biffle has been content to cruise around the track and wait for the leaders to suffer an accident. That strategy served him well in Richmond, as Biffle raced in the top 10 for the majority of the evening, while three of his rivals, Johnson, Jeff Gordon, and Kurt Busch, struggled. When the dust and debris settled, Biffle was rewarded with a sixth-place finish, which left him only 41 points behind Johnson.

"You know, you hate to gain ground at the expense of your competitors' misfortune," Biffle explains, "but ... wait a minute. No I don't. I don't mind at all. It's just another case of drivers not having the guts to say what they mean. Of course, I don't want to see any of them physically injured, but if they were to drive into a black hole after one lap, it would make my day easier."

Biffle will use the all-star race this Saturday as a tune-up for the Coke 600 on May 29. Biffle's best finish in Charlotte is 16th in 2003, while Johnson is a sure bet for a top-five there, if not the outright win. To remain on Johnson's tail, Biffle needs a career day in the 600. The all-star race will be a test session for the #16 Ford.

"If Jimmie receives an obscene phone call with heavy breathing," says Biffle, "it will be me. I'm no pervert; I just want him to get used to my hot breath breathing down his neck."

Biffle will really have to step up his game to challenge Johnson at Charlotte. I think he will remain conservative and shoot for a top-15, while hoping misfortune befalls the frontrunners once again.

3. Jeff Gordon — Like his Hendrick Motorsports counterpart Johnson, Gordon ended his day is Richmond with the most dreaded three-letter abbreviation in auto racing: the infamous "DNF."

"Hey, it could be worse," says Gordon. "At least it's not 'RIP,' 'DOA,' 'MIA,' or even 'SOB,' which I hear quite often. And it could be worse than that. It could be 'RZA,' 'GZA,' 'ODB,' or some other member of Wu Tang, dead or alive. On the bright side, I'm three points closer to Jimmie than I was before the race."

Gordon's day was ruined when, on lap 165, he went high to avoid a crash when he should have went low, and ended up tasting the wall. After a lengthy session in the garage, Gordon returned some 50 laps down, and, after a few velocity-challenged trips around the track, accepted his 39th-place finish and called it a night.

"Look, I openly accept blame for my crash," admits Gordon. "I made the wrong choice, but shouldn't my spotter have offered me some suggestions in that situation? I should have known something was amiss when I saw my spotter taking his position under the guidance of a seeing-eye dog. Hey, c'est la vie. That's life. That's just the way it goes."

Gordon is a three-time winner of the all-star race, and has five top-10s in the last six points races at Charlotte. And Lowes Motor Speedway president Humpy Wheeler has picked Gordon to win the Nextel All-Star Challenge. If someone named "Humpy" says it will happen, chances are good it will. Gordon also tested on the new surface at Lowe's, and easily adapted. Expect Gordon to be a force in both the all-star race and the Coca Cola 600 the following week.

4. Tony Stewart — For the second time this season, Stewart fell just short of capturing his first win of the season with a second-place result. At Talladega, Stewart ran into the Jeff Gordon juggernaut. This time, Stewart battled Kasey Kahne until the end, but couldn't overtake the Dodge, and eventually lost by 1.67 seconds. Stewart led 142 laps, second to Kahne's 234, and saved a spin on lap 234 while leading that dropped him to fifth.

"Mighty Kasey came to bat, and he slapped a home run," says Stewart. "There will be no joy in Mudville, but people are pretty happy in Kasey's hometown of Emunclaw, wherever the heck that is. But enough about Kahne. Let's talk about something much more important: where the hell is Dave Chappelle?"

Good question, Tony. My guess is he's holed up somewhere brainstorming with his crew and a big, fat doobie. Maybe he'll turn up as Grand Marshall in Charlotte.

Seriously, though, Stewart's second-place finish moved him up one notch to sixth in the points, but, more importantly, only 165 away from Johnson. Before Richmond, Stewart was 297 back. He should run up front in Charlotte, as well. The No. 20 Home Depot Joe Gibbs Racing Monte Carlo scored two top-10s there last year, and Stewart won in Charlotte in 2003.

5. Elliott Sadler — It was quite a homecoming for Virginia native Sadler, who recorded a seventh-place finish on Saturday, his best ever in a Cup race at Richmond, a day after narrowly losing to Carl Edwards in the Busch Series Funai 250. Sadler now has top-10s in each of the three short track races this year.

"It's nice to be able to please my native Virginians with such a good weekend," explains Sadler. "Normally, all it takes to make them happy is a winning Virginia Lottery ticket, a Moon Pie, and a pack of Kool Menthols."

Last year in Charlotte, Sadler posted two top-10 finishes, as well as two top-10 qualifying efforts. He also finished eighth in the all-star event last year. Sadler has established himself as a serious contender for the Nextel crown. A top-10 in the Coca Cola 600 would only solidify that standing.

6. Kurt Busch — Despite falling two laps down late into Saturday's race, Busch had no profane words for NASCAR officials, and kept his water bottles in the car and off the noggins of pit road officials. NASCAR officials must have made their point regarding Busch's behavior at Darlington, although they chose no disciplinary action at all.

"Oh, I was disciplined all right," says Busch. "Luckily, I didn't have to give up any points or cash, but I've never been paddled that hard since third grade, when I glued a kid's hand to his ear."

Busch was looking pretty, standing second and ready to take the green when he radioed his pit that his car was making a "bad noise." Busch pitted, and dropped two laps to the field while his team investigated. After returning, Busch rallied, making up the two laps, and finished 17th, the last car on the lead lap.

So, Kurt, did you ever determine what the "bad noise" was?

"No, we never found evidence of anything wrong. Honestly, I think NASCAR officials tapped in to our radio frequency and piped in the sound of a breaking gear. Those jokers!"

Busch now stands fifth in the points, 155 behind Johnson. He was solid at Charlotte last year, with an 11th and a fourth. He also caused a big wreck in the all-star event last year. As is always the case, when Busch stays out of trouble, on and off the track, he's a threat to win.

7. Ryan Newman — With his second straight top-five result, the Rocket Man may have finally found the proper balance between qualifying excellence and race results.

"Yeah man, to heck with winning the pole," says Newman, "Starting second is the place to be for me and my Penske, you see? Why waste so much energy trying to win the pole when you can qualify second and basically start even with the pole sitter? See, I've got a college degree. I'm the thinking man's racer. If you look closely on my on-board camera, you'll see my diploma from Purdue displayed on my dashboard."

Newman does have a point about the pole. He's started three times as pole-sitter, and his best finish in those races is ninth, in Las Vegas. In his three starts from the second position, Newman has a fourth, fifth, and a third, respectively. Has Newman found his secret to racing for the checkered flag?

"Yo, I still want to bum rush the front row," says the No. 12 Dodge driver, "but I want to avoid that pole. I figure as easy as it is for me to win the pole, it will be just as easy to ease up and add a tenth or two to my time and take second."

Newman has won three of the last four poles in Charlotte. Expect him to battle Jimmie Johnson for the pole, and contend in the top-five in both the all-star race and Coca Cola 600.

8. Kevin Harvick — Starting from the seventh position, Harvick passed Tony Stewart on lap 53 for the lead and five bonus points. Harvick hovered around the top five until lap 233, when a Stewart spin brought out a caution. After an uncharacteristically slow pit stop, Harvick and the No. 29 GM Goodwrench Chevy lost ground, six spots to be exact, and could not seriously challenge for the win thereafter.

"You know, I've had faster service at Jiffy Lube," complains Harvick, "and the Burger King drive-thru on training day. Heck, it could have been my fault. Maybe I pulled into the self-service stall and not the full-service. Anyway, I can't complain about a fifth-place."

Indeed, Harvick's top-five placed him back in the top 10 in the points race, at number eight, 198 from the top. Harvick's points standing has been no higher than sixth and no lower than 13th, so he has been consistent. By virtue of his win in Bristol, Harvick will try his luck in the Nextel All-Star Challenge, then will look to the Coca-Cola 600 to build on his third top five this year.

9. Jamie McMurray — McMurray was well on his way to a top-five finish when a bump from Kyle Busch on lap 394 dropped him back five places. McMurray recovered and managed to secure the 10th-place spot by race's end. The bump cost him a chance to move up in the points race, but with his tenth, McMurray is solid at number nine, 211 points down to Jimmie Johnson.

"Those dad gummed Busch brothers!" exclaims McMurray. "If they're not berating and assaulting NASCAR officials, they're playing bumper cars with me. Kyle, just because Tony the Tiger is on your hood gives you no right to Froot Loop me. Next time you bump me, I'm going 'Snap! Crackle! Pop!' upside your head, Special K."

This Saturday, McMurray will try to qualify for the all-star showdown by winning the Nextel Open. The following Sunday, the No. 42 Havoline Dodge pilot will look for his fourth straight top-10 this year. Chances are good for an extension of the streak; McMurray logged two top-10s in Charlotte last year.

10. Kasey Kahne — With his win in Richmond, Kahne became the first driver since Joe Nemechek in Kansas last year to win from the pole. Kahne's second straight pole resulted in his first career Nextel Cup victory, and advanced him four places to 15th in the points. The No. 9 Evernham Motorsports Dodge's win also broke the stranglehold on Victory Circle held by either Roush or Hendrick cars in the last five races.

"It feels great to get my first win," notes Kahne. "Since I started in NASCAR, I've had this monkey riding my back who's always saying, 'You can't win. You can't win.' Well, monkey, I did win, and I'm kicking you to the curb. If you need work, take this banana, head to Hollywood, ask for Clyde, and find you a Clint Eastwood movie in which to star."

As a result of his win, Kahne also gets to pimp his ride in the All-Star Challenge, joining this year's race winner, last year's race winners, the winner of the Nextel Open, and one driver voted in by fans. Kahne will also look to improve on his 12th-place finish in last year's Coca Cola 600.

Posted by Jeffrey Boswell at 12:25 PM | Comments (0)

May 18, 2005

Diagnosis Unknown: A Look at MLB 2005

A Major League Baseball team, like the human body, is made up of a handful of independently operating systems — each demonstrating its own unique functionality — none of which can work efficiently without the others doing the same. As with humans, the most successful teams have the most effective synergies between each of these systems.

Keeping these systems healthy is, first and foremost, the most important factor in maintaining a unit's efficacy both when talking about the human form or your favorite baseball squad. Secondary to health, but not too far back in terms of overall importance, is a smooth-running nervous system (coaching and management). A well-rounded musculoskeletal system (lineup) gives a unit the ability to physically dominate and a hearty respiratory system (pitching rotation) creates an advantage over the long haul of a 162-game schedule and introduces the opportunity to finish strong.

An effective digestive system (bullpen) is essential for the other systems to be best utilized. If the digestive system can't keep things from being regurgitated, it is of little use to the rest of the unit. Finally, the circulatory system (intangibles; i.e. bench, base running, heart, etc.) acts as a lifeline to every other part, if there are inefficiencies with this system, eventually the others will breakdown and ultimately fail.

Each spring, every Tom, Dick, and Harry with a journalism degree, a penchant for sports, or even just a pencil and paper, espouses their opinions on where each team will finish and why. Using the methodology and analogies above, however, all questions about a team's performance can be answered accurately, concisely and rather simply.

I'm no doctor, but I'll play one in this article — you can call me the Web MT (Aren't I clever?!). Here are the results of my physicals for the five healthiest and five unhealthiest MLB franchises this year. I'll "translate" the first few, but it's up to the reader to get the hang of this metaphorical stew after that.

The Good

1. St. Louis Cardinals — As solid a backbone and as developed an overall physique as there is out there with a surprising lung capacity. Their digestive system isn't as efficient as in year's past, but still gets the job done. Strong heartbeat and a super-sharp nervous system further guarantee health.

[Definition: As good a lineup top to bottom as there is with surprisingly good rotation. Bullpen is battered and undermanned, but still relatively effective. Great coached team with a lot of heart and a firm hold on the fundamentals.]

2. Boston Red Sox — Some very well-developed muscle groups with a solid skeletal structure as a base. Digestion is not really a problem. Lungs have been through the proverbial ringer and aren't as young as they used to be but are still able to do the job. Nervous system is underdeveloped, but seems to be very sharp. Showcase the strongest pulse in the group, which will allow for a steady, consistent pace with few highs and lows and long-term success.

[Definition: Have a lineup that complements each other nicely with a good core of leaders. Bullpen is adequate and rotation is aging, but still gets the job done. Management is young and inexperienced by early returns are good. Have the best hold on the intangibles of any of the other MLB teams, which will allow for a consistent year and ultimate long-term success.]

Okay, you're on your own for the rest of these!

3. Chicago White Sox — Surprising strength and durability for smallish physique. Digests food quickly, which helps power the body efficiently. Transplanted and young set of lungs look to be more than enough to get through the finish line. Circulatory system operates with efficiency. Patient has a bit of a nervous twitch, but otherwise no problems should surface over the long haul and early positive returns should be the norm throughout the competition.

4. Atlanta Braves — Health nut that just "gets it" year in and year out. Annually reworks body reflective of needs. Not afraid to let some muscle groups go, as strength of nervous system picks body up in areas that would otherwise be weakened by age or lack of attention. Heartbeat and circulation is not overly strong, but definitely very steady. Get as much capacity out of respiratory system as any other. Patient has to fight occasional bouts of indigestion, but otherwise showcase as physically fit a body of work as there is.

5. Chicago Cubs — Overall, body is well-developed, though may carry a few extra pounds around the waist and does have "soft spots" that tend to break down. Marathon-runner-type with unbelievable lung capacity should have no problem going long distances, but there are some concerns with "raspy" early results. Digestion is a mess — tendency to regurgitate, which regularly takes away from ability for body and lungs to get the job done. Nerves seem to misfire from time to time, but when sharp, are as healthy as there is. Lots of questions about strength of the heart, but any arterial blockages seemed to have been purged during the offseason. Certainly healthier than early test results would indicate and, once minor aches and pains get cleared up, should be in good position for a strong stretch run.

The Bad

28. Houston Astros — This patient displays a set of lungs that would make Moby Dick jealous ... highly-efficient and healthy, long-distance running is no chore. Digestive system is efficient in waste removal, but tests pick up a few small ulcers that have proven to be trouble spots from time to time. Scoliosis of the spine diagnosed and muscular deterioration is beginning to be seen as age creeps in. Neurologically, hard to figure as new synapses don't seem to be as efficient as originally hoped. Blood flow to lungs is strong, but extremities go numb from time to time as a result of poor overall circulation. The recommendation would be to give up on this year's competition and focusing on developing underused muscle groups for future years.

29. Cincinnati Reds — Powerful build, good posture, nice overall look. Patient suffers from "smoker's lungs", evidenced by diminished capacity and a rough, grating cough. It's hard to get a lot out of a body like this when bad habits leave it so short-winded. Huge bleeding ulcer causes sharp pains during digestion, though sometimes ulcer holds out and digestion works effectively. Patient is a nervous wreck that seems to make one bad decision after another. Minor blockage found in arteries, but otherwise decent circulation. Heavy therapy is a must if a turnaround anywhere in the near future is expected. Surgery may also be necessary to replace damaged segments of the nervous system.

30. Seattle Mariners — Historically weak competitor has bulked up this year, but seems to have neglected back and legs and has shown weakness in joints. Patient should work more on long distance running, as respiration seems to be labored after a strong early burst. Bleeding ulcer a bit of a scare, but under control and probably not as bad as early results would indicate. Heartbeat is strong, but extremity circulation suffers from an apparent blockage somewhere along circulatory system. Almost seems like nervous system is communicating to body in Japanese, as some connections work great and others are complete failures. The easiest fix would be to teach the patient Japanese, but this just is not practical. A better training regiment is the more feasible solution, but a daunting one indeed.

31. Colorado Rockies — Terrible smoking habit has damaged lungs, and high altitude home has not helped cause, either. Poor digestion pretty much eliminates any ability for sustained success. Very strong heartbeat and backbone, but strength is waning and some muscles are beginning to atrophy. Many nerve endings have died and nervous system lies in disarray. A diagnosed heart murmur is a real cause for concern. Major surgical corrections would need to be made for this patient to see positive steps over the short term. It is a shame that such a solid base has gone neglected for so long, but the reality is that neglect has left all major systems in turmoil.

32. Kansas City Royals — Suffers from a plurality of maladies. From irritable bowel syndrome to Parkinson's Disease, their nervous, digestive and circulatory systems are a mess. What little development that remains in a musculoskeletal system ravaged by a shocking loss of muscle mass also seems to be deteriorating and will likely be gone sooner rather than later. It seems the best plan of action for resuscitation of this patient would be to start from scratch and re-teach the fundamentals of walking and talking and then worry about motor skill development later on in the process. This is the worst-case scenario and may be a lost cause.

There you have it! A simple personification of Major League Baseball's teams and a routine physical examination of those teams can lead to some very insightful conclusions. Based on the results of my tests, it is quite clear that we'll see a rematch of last year's World Series, only this time around the Cardinals will edge the BoSox across the finish line.

At least that's what early diagnoses intimate. As with people, sometimes ordinary beings can put forth extraordinary performances, defying convention beyond measure and analysis. We could, of course, argue about these "immeasurables" until we are blue in the face, but that will do little more than add a migraine to an already cloudy and convoluted exercise in futility.

My advice to you would be to take two aspirin and call me in October.

Posted by Matt Thomas at 1:32 PM | Comments (0)

The Loss of a Sports Fan to NASCAR

Loss is a part of life — unfortunately, a part that no one can escape.

This past weekend, I lost a sports fan who was a good friend of mine. He is one of my closest friends in the sports media world, and I will always have the many great memories from our friendship. Sometimes I find myself lying awake at night, wondering if things would have been different if he didn't decide to make the trip to Richmond, VA this past weekend for that fateful NASCAR race. Naturally, since he was lost Saturday, the shock of what happened still hasn't set in. I know that someday I will have to come to terms with it — my friend is now a NASCAR fan.

I met Joe Lull ("The Joe Lull Show" is 8-10 AM EST Monday through Friday on SportsTalkCleveland.com) over a year ago when I began helping him with his then small-time sports talk radio show. He was just starting out in the business, but was determined to make a name for himself. When I first met him, he was an average Joe. He wasn't perfect as the Cleveland native (strike one) was a huge Cavs, Browns (strike two), and Indians (strike three) fan, but his love of sports made him an all right guy.

In my mind, Joe was a model sports fan. He was great to talk sports with over a cold one, he was a loyal fan who knew his stuff, and he was a good guy to watch a game with. He wasn't much of a bandwagon fan (outside of his random allegiances with the Carolina Panthers and the New York Yankees, but before you condemn him as a bandwagon fan, remember, he willingly supports all three major sports teams in Cleveland, if he really was a bandwagon fan, he would've been smart enough to sever all Cleveland ties immediately) and he was a smart sports fan — meaning he was able to appreciate the greatness of playoff hockey.

I lost Joe when he decided to go with a mutual friend of ours, his former co-host (a recent NASCAR convert himself), to a NASCAR race. The next time I saw him, he was wearing a Rusty Wallace Miller Lite hat. This came as a great shock to me because he always wears his Yankees lid, even during their embarrassment at the start of the season. Now, after everyone has been kicking the Yankees while they were down, they are on a nine-game tear, and Joe decided to forgo the Yanks hat for a (gasp) ... NASCAR hat. I immediately had to assess how bad the situation was.

"Who won the Civil war?" I asked.

"The North," he replied. Check one.

"Are you attracted to girls that don't have a full complement of teeth?" I asked next.

"Nope," he said. Check two.

"Is NASCAR a sport?" I asked next, bracing myself for the worst.

"Yeah, it is. NASCAR rules, man," he said. My heart sank. Time of Joe's death as a sports fan: 6:30 PM EST, May 17, 2005.

Joe was the second friend I lost to NASCAR in the past year, and the shocking thing about the fall of Joe is that he detested NASCAR before he went to a race. This seems to happen to a ton of people — they go to one race and immediately transform into diehards. Even back in my days as a young off-ice official in the old International Hockey League, older officials would tell me that once you go to a race, you will never be the same.

I didn't chronicle Joe's descent into the dark side for my own amusement. I did it because I don't want his sports fan death to be in vain. His tale can serve as a warning for anyone heading to a NASCAR race for the first time: make sure you know what you are getting yourself into.

It's not that I have anything against NASCAR or the fans, I'm sure they are good people. Heck, I even call some of them my friends (only because it's a term I throw around loosely, which explains my friendship with the Subway worker that assembles my lunch every day). I even plan to take in a race myself sometime in the next year, only because I want to give it a fair shake. I have no doubt that it's a great spectator event, and I understand that it's popular. My only problem is that it is not a sport.

Joe tried several arguments with me about why NASCAR is a sport, mainly trying to explain that a sport is anything that combines an amount of skill with an amount of endurance. That is a definition I just cannot buy. According to Joe's definition, why aren't video gamers considered athletes? They need skill and endurance to win those day-long tournaments.

What about the "BattleBot" guys? They build and then wage war with their own robots — they control a machine with skill and endurance, just like a NASCAR driver. Somehow, I don't think I'll see "SportsCenter" recapping the epic victory of Diesector the wheel robot's upset win in the "BattleBot" super heavyweight division.

To me, a sport is something that, among other things, requires a decent amount of athletic ability. NASCAR requires very little. I guess another reason I don't consider NASCAR a sport is because fans can't partake in the game itself. I can play golf or hockey with my friends, toss a baseball or football or play a pickup game of basketball. Can I go outside and play NASCAR?

If Joe is good at anything, it's arguing, so I was expecting him to put up a convincing fight for NASCAR. It was his next argument that proved to me that Joe the sports fan whom I knew was truly gone. I will try to remember him as he was. Joe's next argument consisted merely of "yeah, well, whatever, NASCAR rules."

Touché.

Mark Chalifoux is also a weekly columnist for SportsFan Magazine. His columns appear every Tuesday on Sports Central. You can e-mail Mark at [email protected].

Posted by Mark Chalifoux at 12:59 PM | Comments (57)

The First Cut is the Deepest

Like many times before, Tiger Woods' consecutive cuts-made streak came down to the 18th hole last weekend. Like zero times before in the last seven years, he walked into the clubhouse with a suddenly free weekend.

Tiger needed to make par to stay even, but after finding a bunker, could only manage a bogey, and left the rest of the field to complete the final two rounds of the Byron Nelson Championship.

It was seven years ago, in 1998, at the Pebble Beach Pro-Am that Woods began his historic streak. In that span of time, he maintained a seemingly invincible perch at the top of the player rankings, won record prize money, marched his way through majors in red shirt, fist-pumping glory, and solidified his reputation as one of the game's greatest — ever.

One hundred and forty-two consecutive cuts made.

142.

Through bad streaks, inclement weather, tough competition, intense media and public scrutiny, and questions about his talent, Tiger Woods had enough moxie, sheer force of will, and concentration to be good even when he wasn't.

It's amazing to think that Tiger on an average stay is still probably better than half of the players in the field on their best.

In seven years, Tiger went from a promising golf talent taking the sport by storm to one of the world's most recognizable and popular athletes. It wasn't through bravado or showmanship. It didn't come through endless self-promotion or controversy.

What made Tiger the athlete and public figure that he is today was everything that happened from the first tee to the last green, every Friday, Saturday, and Sunday for the last seven years.

It is the way that Magic Johnson, Larry Bird, Michael Jordan, Joe Montana, Cal Ripken, Jr., Joe DiMaggio, Wayne Gretzky, and Roger Clemens built their careers and reputations.

Tiger's 142 mark surpassed the previous record, held by ... that's right, Byron Nelson, who had 111 straight cuts-made in the 1940's. So, it is fitting that the end to this monumental testament to excellence came at the namesake tournament of the previous record holder.

There are those who will take their shots at Tiger, saying that since 31 of the tournaments that Tiger competed in didn't even have a cut they shouldn't be included. Others will say that since "making the cut" in Nelson's day meant finishing in the money, his streak demonstrated a longer, higher quality of play.

Sure, these are valid points of argument, but in no way should they take away from the accomplishment of Tiger.

In the last seven years, we went to war in Iraq, the landscape of sports and culture and nation were changed with 9/11, the Patriots have gone from perennial loser to dynasty, the Red Sox have ended "the curse," and Martha Stewart has gone from homemaker to cellmate.

I am 23-years-old now. Seven years ago, I was finishing my sophomore year of high school and slowly learning the driving skills that led to an eventual suspension of my license.

Needless to say, it's been a long time.

Perhaps this last weekend is a sign of things to come. Vijay Singh, Phil Mickelson, Ernie Els, and Sergio Garcia have been steadily gaining on Tiger and routinely provide fierce competition.

But flashes of the Tiger of old came through in dazzling red, fist-pumping, Sunday glory at the Masters, and I have a hard time believing those days are remotely close to being over.

This year, we'll see one of golf's greatest, Jack Nicklaus, walk off the 18th green for the last time as a professional player at the British Open. Streaks end, careers end.

Tiger may have walked off the green for the weekend, but he's far from walking off forever.

Posted by Vince Grzegorek at 12:47 PM | Comments (0)

May 17, 2005

Paper Tigers Demanding Bigger Bucks

Most of us sign a contract and expect that the other party will live up their end of the deal. It is also expected that the other party sees your signature and expects that you will adhere to the agreement in good faith.

These rules don't seem to play to a number of NFL players these days.

After the NFL draft, holdouts are common for these players who are looking to negotiate their first contract of their professional careers. This year, a number of high-profile players are making noise about holding out because the contract they signed a short time ago isn't good enough anymore.

The highest profile of these players is Philadelphia Eagles WR Terrell Owens. Owens lives by the credence that the only rules that apply to him are his rules.

Owens wanted out of San Francisco badly. He bad-mouthed his QB and coach and became such a problem that it was obvious that he needed to leave. The first part of this drama played out in the media as Owens' agent at the time apparently missed the deadline to file for free agency.

With this deadline missed, it looked as if the 49ers were in the driver's seat. They knew Owens wanted out, but the only way he could leave was with a trade that the team decided upon. The 49ers then worked out a deal with the Baltimore Ravens.

But wait, Owens' files a grievance with the NFL and examination of his contract reveals that Owens may have a different date to file for free agency than the rest of the world. How is that possible?

Apparently, it is plenty possible because the league, looking to avoid a very public and noisy fight between Owens and the rest of the NFL, brokered a deal that voided the trade between the 49ers and Ravens and sent Owens to Philadelphia, where he wanted to go in the first place.

So all ends happily ever after for Owens? No way. After playing one year under his seven-year $49 million deal, Owens wants more.

After setting Eagle records for touchdown receptions (14) and 100-yard games (7) Owens wants more. In February, Owens played in the Super Bowl after suffering what many, including doctors, thought to be a season-ending injury.

Owens came back and was arguably the best Eagle on the field in the three-point loss to the New England Patriots.

Instead of building on that reputation, Owens went back to his San Francisco days and started to trash other people, including his QB.

Owens made reference to Donovan McNabb being tired in the Super Bowl, touching off some verbal sparring the media between the two.

Owens doesn't have a whole bunch of allies. Eagle owner Jeff Lurie has said the team won't redo Owens contract and now McNabb has said that "...Without him (Owens), I still think we can do a lot of good things."

Owens isn't alone in his belief that a contract is one-way. Green Bay WR Javon Walker is also holding out until he gets a new deal.

Walker has two years left on his deal he signed in 2002 and after his 12 TD, 1,382-yard season and his first selection to the Pro Bowl, he wants more.

Something else that Walker has in common with Owens is that his QB also isn't impressed with his stance. QB Brett Favre has twice stated his opinion that, "Just because you have one good year, doesn't give you the right to hold out."

While Walker has said he respects Brett's opinion, you have to wonder what kind of relationship the two can have after such a public display. Former Packer Darren Sharper has already chided Favre in the media for speaking out against Walker.

Even in the desert, the WR holdout drama is playing out. Arizona Cardinal WR Anquan Boldin, unhappy with his current deal and the two years remaining skipped a mini-camp and organized team workouts.

The Cardinals have stated that they would like to rework Boldin's deal in order to recognize being named the NFL Offensive Rookie of the Year in 2002.

Whether or not that was enough, Boldin has since decided to return to the team and participate in team activities.

It also cannot be coincidence that the same agent represents all three of these players.

While the same tactics are employed, some things are being forgotten. All teams in the NFL operate under a hard salary cap. When one player demands more, he takes money away from the team and reduces its ability to acquire more players and manage the effect the cap has on the roster.

Long-term, big-money deals are carefully constructed by teams in order that the team isn't crippled by the cap numbers.

Already this year, teams have shown that big free- agent spending is going to come second to prudent cap management. Several high-profile free agents have already found out that free agency isn't and more and more teams are looking to the Patriots and Eagles manner of managing rosters. That means some key blue-chip players and a number of role players who can play well enough to stay on the field but don't break the bank.

The next players who will experience cap management are the draft picks. Before any of these future NFL players want to holdout to get a better deal, they should look how proven players like Owens and Walker make out with their tactics.

Add to the education the process the players who have been given the "franchise" tag by their teams. Players like Indianapolis Colt RB Edgerrin James and Seattle Seahawk RB Shaun Alexander are looking for big deals and weren't able to sign with their teams. As a result, they have been named franchise players.

Other NFL teams can make an offer for them, but the price will be draft picks and some significant dollars. These players are still waiting for offers.

My advice to Owens and others is to look around and see what is happening around you. Teams understand that the team that doesn't manage the cap and continually pays the big contracts is a team that can never move forward in the salary cap era NFL.

And the next time you want more because you feel outperformed your deal, ask yourself how much money you are going to return when you underperform it.

Posted by Jeff Moore at 7:53 PM | Comments (1)

Baseball's Five Biggest Surprises

As it is nearly every year, the early part of the Major League Baseball season includes a number of surprises. Some of those surprises fade into an assertive "I knew it wouldn't last," while others carry on and make us wonder how long they will last. With a month and a half gone in the 2005 season, there are (in the eyes of this reporter) five things that have raised people's eyebrows.

1. Baltimore Orioles

Think of how lousy the Orioles have been over the past five or six years. Since winning their last division pennant in 1997, the O's have finished 20 games or more out of first place six times and the closest they've been was 13.5 back in 2000. Now, all of a sudden, they're back on top of the American League East, ahead of the defending world champs and baseball's all-time dynasty. That's right — the Birds cling to the division lead over both the Red Sox and the Yankees. But the fact that they're doing it without Sammy Sosa and a marquee pitcher is what is astounding.

In what can only be described as a total team effort, Baltimore lads the league in hitting (.291), home runs (53), and hits (379). Their top offensive player so far is 2B Brian Roberts with an AL-leading .382 average to go along with 10 home runs and 32 RBI. Former MVP Miguel Tejada is right up there with him with a .333 average, 10 home runs, and 38 RBI. Once Sosa returns to the lineup, the Orioles' offense should only get better.

But it hasn't been just the offense that has risen to the occasion in the early going of the season. Sidney Ponson has compiled a 5-1 record in spite of a fairly large 4.93 ERA, Erik Bedard is 4-1 with a 2.35 ERA, and closer B.J. Ryan (who?) has 10 saves and a nice 1.66 ERA. Plus, the staff combined has 273 strikeouts, tops in the league. If they can maintain what they've started, they'll keep themselves in a lot of ball games down the stretch.

2. New York Yankees

I know it's still early, but the Yanks only a .500 ballclub? With the offense they have, they should be a lot better. But it's not the offense's fault why they're not atop the division. The pitching, which traditionally has been the best around, has faltered. With names like [Mike] Mussina, [Randy] Johnson, and [Kevin] Brown, most lineups would be shaking in their boots heading to the dish. Not so this year.

Those three, along with the rest of the Yankee staff, are letting opposing teams hit them to the tune of a .289 average. That's worst in the AL. Not only that, but they're giving up runs with a fourth-highest 4.62 ERA. Johnson and Mussina have won more than they've lost (4-2 each), but they're the only ones on the staff with ERAs under 4.00. And the only pitcher with an ERA of under 3.00 is closer Mariano Rivera.

The offense, though, is the only thing that's keeping the Yanks' heads above water. They're third in the league in home runs with 49 and runs scored with 217, and fourth in batting average at .277, but it's been just a handful of players who have really been carrying the team at the plate. Alex Rodriguez and Tino Martinez share the league lead in home runs with 12, and Derek Jeter and Gary Sheffield are both hitting above .300. But the well-documented struggles of Jason Giambi continue and "Godzilla" Matsui has hit only three home runs thus far after knocking 31 out last year. If the pitching can ever catch up to the offense, though, don't discount the Yanks having a midseason surge toward the pennant.

3. Washington Nationals

Maybe the idiom that a change of scenery does a world of good really is true. After languishing in Montreal since the 1994 strike, the former Expos are making a good showing early on. Who'd have thought they'd be above .500 and in position to battle for the wildcard at this point?

Offensively, the Nats aren't the most potent club in the league, ranking in the lower third of the National League in the power stats. But, they're the third-best hitting team in the league at .272. Nick Johnson and Jose Guillen both are hitting above .300 and when Wil Cordero comes back from his injury, the offense should gain a little more pop.

On the hill, John Patterson's 2.98 ERA ranks 10th in the league and Livan Hernandez is second in wins with six. Both Hernandez and Esteban Loaiza have respectable ERAs of under 4.00 and Chad Cordero is tied for sixth in the league with nine saves. And while the pitching staff isn't leading the league in any of the major categories, they've been quite consistent, ranking in the middle of the pack in the vital stats like ERA, opponents' batting average, runs allowed and walks allowed. If the pitching can stay consistent and the offense pick up just a tad, Washington could make things quite interesting down the
stretch.

4. Jon Garland

Wow. Seven and oh. And he's the White Sox' number five guy. That in itself is surprising. But a pair of four-hit, complete game shutouts is pretty amazing, along with an AL third-best 2.39 ERA. Here is a guy who's had only one winning season in the majors, and that was a less-than-stellar 12-11 record last year. His first five seasons in the bigs have been uneventful, but he somehow has gotten it together this season. Could we be seeing the beginning of a Sandy Koufax-esque turnaround?

5. Clint Barmes

Tell me quickly: who is the leading hitter in the major leagues right now? Ichiro? Albert Pujols? Johnny Damon? How about the guy mentioned at the beginning of this section. That's right. Colorado shortstop Clint Barmes is hitting a MLB-best .386. Maybe not too surprising since he's a rookie hitting in Coors Field, but glancing back at what he's done in the past and how he's doing it this year is quite astounding.

Barmes was a career .281 hitter in the minor leagues and managed only one season hitting better than .300 (.328 last season at AAA Colorado Springs). Maybe that was a shadow of things to come because not only is he hitting the ball well, he's hitting it consistently. It's not like he's going 0-4 one night and 4-5 the next. He's hit safely in 13 of his last 14 games and is the only NL shortstop to rank in the top 50 in home runs and RBI. Maybe this guy will be the next A-Rod or Jeter of the National League.

Maybe diehard fans of these teams or players aren't surprised by what's taken place so far (unless you're a Yankee fan), but they were able to get a brief "Really? Wow!" out of me. Now it will be interesting to see if these surprises fade away or become standard.

As major league baseball gets ready to take center stage for the rest of the summer, some fans who are just catching up on what's been happening so far might be surprised at a few events. SC's Adam Russell relays what has surprised him at this point in the season.

Posted by Adam Russell at 10:15 AM | Comments (1)

May 16, 2005

A Look at Golf's Next Five

Most followers of the PGA Tour can easily name the top five players in the world, based on the Official World Golf Ranking. Though the order of those five seems to change with each passing tournament, the names of the Big Five — Woods, Singh, Els, Mickelson, and Goosen — are universally recognized as the elite.

But who can identify players ranked 6-10 — the Next Five? The list is below, and as the adjoining paragraphs point out, a couple of the members of the Next Five have a great chance of moving up, while others have surely already reached their zenith.

6. Chris DiMarco — The sixth-ranked player in the world has only three career victories and has not won since the 2002 Phoenix Open. Yet DiMarco's recent play, especially in the major tournaments, could be prophetic of promising play yet to come. In his last two Masters tournaments, DiMarco played in the final group on Sunday, succumbing to Phil Mickelson in 2004 and Tiger Woods a month ago.

DiMarco has made a career out of consistency and near-misses, and this season is a perfect example. He lost to David Toms in the final round of the Accenture Match Play Championship after beating Retief Goosen in the semifinals. And the argument could be made that he is playing the best golf on the planet right now despite not having a win. DiMarco's resulting in his last three tournaments: second at the Masters, tied for third at New Orleans, and fourth at the star-studded Wachovia Championships. For his career, he has finished in the top 20 of the Tour Money List for five straight years (soon to be six).

What DiMarco lacks is wins and time. What is DiMarco's most impressive victory? The list is remarkably underwhelming: the 2000 SEI Pennsylvania Classic, the 2001 Buick Challenge, and the 2002 Phoenix Open. Sure, he's set for life, but to have any chance at moving northward in the rankings, he's going to need to close the deal at a major or two.

But at 36, DiMarco's window of opportunity is growing smaller every day. The world has probably seen the best golf of Chris DiMarco, and to this point, it has provided him only material success, not the impeccable golf resumes owned by Woods, Singh, Els, Mickelson, and Goosen. But DiMarco's strength is in his putter, a fact he attributes to the quirky claw-grip putting style. DiMarco is currently ranked as the best putter on Tour. And as Jay Haas and Vijay Singh can attest, growing older does not mean growing less competitive, so long as the putter stays hot. So, should DiMarco retain the putting touch that has earned him over $15 million, he will stay competitive and preserve his top-10 ranking.

7. Adam Scott — Australian-born Adam Scott is as close to a sure thing as the PGA Tour can possibly boast. Like DiMarco above him, Scott has won three times on Tour. Unlike his elder competitor, however, Scott is only 24, and has already won a heavily sought-after tournament, The Players Championship. With five wins internationally also to his credit, Scott is poised to become one of golf's stalwarts for the foreseeable future.

Scott worked with teacher Butch Harmon to model his entire game after one of Harmon's other students, Tiger Woods. Scott's swing is eerily similar to that of his doppelganger, Woods, and from a distance, it is nearly impossible to tell the difference between the two. This pedigree, combined with Scott's ability to excel in competition, will doubtlessly lead him into the top five in the World Golf Ranking. The question is when, not if, for Scott.

8. Sergio Garcia — Once considered the best player under 25 years of age, fiery-Spaniard Sergio Garcia has likely lost that title to Adam Scott. At the 1999 PGA Championship, Garcia raised hopes of a Jack Nicklaus/Arnold Palmer-type rivalry with Tiger Woods, but since that Sunday at Medinah, Garcia has not lived up to those lofty and probably unfair expectations.

Still, Garcia has an incredible list of accomplishments already, and he's only 25. He's won five times on the PGA Tour and nine times internationally. He's also been a central character to the European team's success in the last three Ryder Cups. So any talk of Garcia as a colossal disappointment should cease.

But Garcia does have to improve his putting before he can expect to win multiple major tournaments and crack the top five in the world rankings. He is ranked 163rd in putting this season, a shockingly awful statistic for the eighth-ranked player in the world. Should he do so — and it is a good bet that his putting will certainly improve in the coming years — Garcia may find himself in an international rivalry after all. But not with Woods — Adam Scott could be his toughest long-term competition.

9. Padraig Harrington — 33-year-old Padraig Harrington is the biggest mystery on this list. Harrington has an impressive international resume with nine European Tour victories. But this is only Harrington's first year on the U.S. Tour, and so his mere one PGA Tour victory is not as unimpressive as it might seem.

Like Garcia, Harrington is a lynchpin for Europe's Ryder Cup team, and like Chris DiMarco, he makes a living by often being in contention, but rarely winning. In his banner year of 2002, Harrington flirted with victory in all four majors, including top-five finishes at the Masters and the British Open. But Harrington's lack of U.S. Tour victories make it difficult to judge whether or not he's peaked, or if his peak is yet to come. Now that he is a full-time member of the PGA Tour, Harrington's comfort level in the states should increase, and he will avoid the globetrotting fatigue attributed to those who play in tournaments around the world.

10. David Toms — Of the Next Five, Toms is clearly the most accomplished player. He has 11 career victories, including the 2001 PGA Championship. There is no doubt that Toms is going to be remembered as one of the games more accomplished players, but the question remains: are Toms' best days behind him?

At 38, Toms is the oldest player in the Next Five. But he has not slowed down at all in 2005. In winning the Accenture Match Play Championship in January, Toms played some of the best golf that tournament has ever produced. He has also finished in the top 10 four other times this season. He ranks ninth on Tour in greens hit in regulation, and is 18th in putting.

Despite continued good play, however, Toms faces quite a challenging climb ahead if he hopes to reach the top five again in his career. With Scott and Garcia likely on the rise, and no end in sight to the Big Five's domination of the sport, Toms is not likely to ascend much higher on this list.

Posted by Vincent Musco at 4:31 PM | Comments (0)

I Hate Mondays: "Kill Bill: Volume 3"

Sponsored by CyberSportsbook.com

The marriage of Uma Thurman's character in "Kill Bill: Volume 1" was supposed to be straightforward just like November 19th was supposed to be just another passing day in a young NBA season. A bullet to the head and a brawl in the stands later and a simple thing was complicated.

As the 2004 Eastern Conference finalists renewed their vows on that cheerless Friday, the resulting effect left the Indiana Pacers on the floor nearly comatose while the Detroit Pistons walked away intact.

It was the Pacers who were left with the pain, the blame, and the shame of the incident. Not to mention the long-term ramifications without reigning defensive player of the year Ron Artest and the short-term consequences of playing without critical components Jermaine O'Neal and Stephen Jackson. On the other hand, the Detroit Pistons were left virtually unscathed, expecting a facilitated return to the playoffs with their biggest rival apparently crippled.

Apparently not.

The Pacers were left for dead, but have persevered through an arduous season to overcome Black Mamba-type adversity.

First, there were days when the lineup was depleted and only six Pacers were eligible to play. Then there was inconvenient injuries to starting point guard Jamal Tinsley (42 games) and starting power forward Jermaine O'Neal (22 games). A developing team that visited the Eastern Conference final the previous year was expecting to make a strong run for a title in Reggie Miller's final season so that his illustrious career could end on a high note.

Instead, they were clinging to journeymen Anthony Johnson and Dale Davis, gasping to stay in thick of the playoff race. With a decimated roster and constant obstacles to overcome nobody would have blamed the Pacers for quitting. As a matter of fact, that is what most people expected after a 102-82 Game 1 destruction at the hands of the Boston Celtics in round one. Their own fans devoted a standing ovation to Reggie Miller in Game 6 when the Pacers' prospects of advancing looked bleak, assuming that that would be their last look at the Pacer great.

Yet somehow, this barren team still overtook the number three-seeded Boston Celtics and is now taking a run at the governing NBA champions.

They have a chance to serve a dish that is best served cold: revenge. For the Pacers, this is their championship.

Back on November 19th, there were two sides that sparked a quarrel, but only one is still feeling the punishment. The Pacers want revenge and a triumph against Detroit would give them that redemption.

With the series square and the Pistons regaining home court advantage, the task might seem like an uphill climb but the Pacers have faced an incline all season long. They've won two games in this best-of-seven series already and are 3-1 in Detroit this season. This journey might require the help of Hattori Hanzo, but I assure you one thing the Pacers do not do is quit.

"Kill Bill" and the NBA playoffs mix like Mondays and me.

"Funny ... you like Samurai swords ... I like baseball." — Hattori Hanzo

Don't miss next week's installment of "I Hate Mondays," sponsored by CyberSportsbook.com, a great sportsbook for horse racing and casino action!

Posted by Dave Golokhov at 12:25 PM | Comments (0)

May 14, 2005

The Jester's Quart's NBA Notebook

Some day, Charles Barkley is going to go into politics. And Kenny Smith is going to go into coaching. And Ernie Johnson is going to find some plum network gig and find his way off of cable television.

But none of that has happened yet. And until it does, the TNT Sports NBA studio show is the best thing on sports television right now.

(Better than "Real Sports with Bryant Gumble?" Yep ... one can only take so many stories about coaches diddling the shortstop on their Little League teams. And don't even get me started on that new Bob Costas show, which looks like such an insufferable egofest, it's amazing Rosie O'Donnell isn't involved.)

TNT — or more specifically, its on-air talent — has reinvented the studio show in the same way "Monday Night Football" revolutionized sports event coverage and "Saturday Night Live" changed televised sketch comedy. It's everything the NFL pregame shows should be — analysis without predisposed loyalty, entertainment without scripted attempts at pathetically forced humor. What's unconventional about it is the vibe — it's like Basketball Deities commenting on the follies of men, but doing so at a neighborhood barbershop. I half expect Cedric the Entertainer to come out and start riffing on John Stockton's short shorts.

In a way, this is our "Coach's Corner" on "Hockey Night in Canada": A no-holds barred look at the game and the sport from an insightful pro (Ron McLean up nord, Kenny Smith down sud) and a curmudgeonly loudmouth (their Don Cherry, and our Charles Barkley). The comparison doesn't end there: McLean and Grapes are decidedly "old school," as are Barkley, Smith, and Magic. There's something very refreshing about a studio show that cuts through the BS of modern athletes and their idiosyncrasies. This is where Smith is great: he has an intrinsic ability to decide who the real players are and who the knuckleheads are.

One of the things I love about this show is the way it's shot. The set seems larger than most studio shows, and the mise-en-scene creates an interesting dynamic: bitter old baller Barkley to the right, slightly less bitter Smith to the right center, the decidedly non-partisan Johnson in the middle, and the decidedly sunny and pro-player Magic on the left. It's like "Crossfire," with Charles Barkley as Pat Buchanan. (I hope I just gave someone a heart attack.)

One last thing about the TNT show: Ernie Johnson is the glue for this thing. He interjects with purpose. He's both the punchline and the set-up to numerous jokes on this occasionally hilarious show — the kind of goofy white dude that can take it as much as he can dish it out.

But it's his ego, or lack there of, that makes this show work. He's a lot like Phil Jackson and Pat Riley: the stars outshine him, but he knows how to win with talent.

***

There seems to be this strange David Stern backlash from some NBA fans. I don't understand it.

Perhaps you Stern critics need to be reminded that it could be worse...

... remember that Gary Bettman was once his No. 2 man.

***

Do you think when Reggie Miller looks in the mirror, he boos himself?

***

I love that countdown thing the NBA is doing with the rotating billboards under the scorers' table.

In case you haven't seen it, they have numbers going from 16 down to 1 on the billboards, and players spray-paint giant "X's" on each number after their corresponding victory.

Maybe next season, the Atlanta Hawks will have numbers starting at 69, so they can count down each of their losses on the way to the top pick in the draft...

***

Racism and the MVP Award

I thought this "controversy" was cooked up by Dan Lebatard of the Miami Herald, a brilliant writer who all too often gives in to this Bill O'Reilly-esque proclivity for making big-message mountains out of otherwise benign molehills. But then SportsCenter gave it a segment. Then talk radio picked up the story — the kind of beautiful melding of magnetic personalities and hot-button issues that will forever guarantee the phone lines will light up.

I have to admit that race was the last thing I considered when Steve Nash was announced as the NBA's MVP over second-leading vote-getter Shaquille O'Neal. How could I waste my time on some crackpot Al Sharpton-like conspiracy theory that implicates over half of the 127 sportswriters who vote for the award as closeted Klansmen? You know, those same racist bastards who voted a black man MVP for 17 straight seasons beginning in 1987? (And Michael Jordan was only five of those.)

It drives me friggin' bonkers to read columnists like Kevin Scarbinsky of The Birmingham News casually float the race card. He brings up Nash's racial profile before he mentions a single statistic in a recent column:

Nash is a terrific player enjoying a terrific season for a terrific Phoenix Suns team that was terrible before he arrived as a free agent.

The point guard stands out for a lot of reasons. He's a small man in a big man's game. He's an unselfish man in a game overpopulated by men who would rather look in a mirror than out a window.

He's also a white man in a black man's game. Not that his complexion had anything to do with winning this election. Did it?

Just wondering. Hey, it's okay to talk about race without starting a riot. Charles Barkley said so in his new book.

That's just irresponsible journalism. It's all irresponsible, from ESPN to the Birmingham News to any sports talk station that helped stage this pseudo-debate.

If you are convinced that Nash had an advantage over Shaq because of the color of his skin, you are wrong. Why? Because Nash isn't white ... he's Canadian. And many of the same people who vote for the MVP award are the same xenophobic hate-mongers whose only objective in life is to see the National Hockey League fold before they're in the ground. The only thing NBA beat writers loathe more than Canadians is the WNBA...

Of course, the issue remains whether Nash deserved the MVP award. It's complicated debate. Did Nash make his team better, or was his team pretty damn good to begin with? Where would the Suns be without Nash, but with a point guard like, say, Tony Parker? Do we reward the most vital piece of a machine, even if his statistics (15.5 ppg, 11.5 apg) wouldn't make him a first-round pick in a fantasy league? (The writers certainly didn't give Isiah Thomas any MVP love when he was the heartbeat of his a machine-like team in Detroit.)

What about Shaquille O'Neal? Would his season be anything close to "MVP" status if Dwayne Wade didn't blossom into an All-NBA player? Did Shaq have something to do with that transformation? Is elevating a team to the top of the Leastern Conference really all that spectacular an achievement? (The writers certainly didn't give Jason Kidd any MVP love when he made the Nets a conference power after being a divisional doormat for years.)

I've always subscribed to one litmus test for the MVP Award, which is "Where would Team X be if you took Player Y away from it?"

Magic Johnson won the 1990 NBA MVP on a Lakers team that also featured James Worthy, Byron Scott, and A.C. Green in the starting lineup. Meanwhile, the Philadelphia 76ers were Atlantic Division champions for one reason: Charles Barkley, who averaged 25.2 points and 11.5 rebounds per game playing next to Mike Gminski. Sir Charles received more first-place MVP votes (38) than Magic (27), but lost the award to the Lakers' point guard.

Take Nash away from the Suns, and that team might still be in the postseason. Same for the Shaq-less Heat, especially when you consider that state of post play in the conference and the emergence of Wade.

But where would the Sixers be without Allen Iverson? The toilet. Last place. More Ping-Pong balls than a South Korean Olympic training facility.

Iverson won his fourth scoring title, and basically willed his team into the playoffs with a roster that probably couldn't have beaten most of the Sweet 16 this season. Watch him play the game, and you wonder how the hell he hasn't snapped his spine driving the lane.

Yet he only received two first-place votes.

Two.

Just incredible...

***

And finally...

A: "Lois Lane, Marion Barry, and Kwame Brown."

Q. "What are famous D.C. busts, Alex?"

Greg Wyshynski is also a weekly columnist for SportsFan Magazine. His columns appear every Saturday on Sports Central. You can e-mail Greg at [email protected].

Posted by Greg Wyshynski at 1:40 PM | Comments (0)

May 13, 2005

Starless Nights in Motown

In Detroit, it's rare to get a good glimpse of the stars when they come out at night.

Blame it on the air pollution from the "Big Three" automakers. Blame it on the bright city lights.

Starless nights make the metropolis hell for romantics and astronomers. But for local NBA fanatics, the Motor City is heaven, even if fans in attendance at the Palace don't always have the opportunity to see the league's brightest stars.

Every team left in the 2005 NBA playoffs (aside from the severely overmatched Wizards) has at least one potential Hall-of-Famer on their roster. Miami has Shaquille O'Neal and Dwayne Wade. Indiana has Reggie Miller and Jermaine O'Neal. Phoenix has Steve Nash and Amare Stoudamire. San Antonio has Tim Duncan and Tony Parker. Dallas has Dirk Nowitzki. Seattle has Ray Allen.

Ben Wallace is Detroit's most recognizable player. His towering afro and tenacious defense make him a real spectacle to behold. But his limitations on the offensive end keep him out of the yearly MVP vote and make him a real long shot for enshrinement. We're talking Giacomo odds.

Even though Detroit's lineup lacks Hall-of-Fame credentials, many argue the Pistons have the NBA's best starting five. Chauncey Billups, Richard Hamilton, Tayshaun Prince, Rasheed Wallace, and Big Ben make up a unit that is not only devoid of superstars, but also stocked with more former castoff talent than "The Surreal Life."

The lineup that brought a World Championship to Motown in 2004 is the same lineup that nobody wanted five seasons ago. These guys are lucky the Pistons had plans for them. For a while, they were about as desirable to NBA GMs as Yugos were to drag racers.

Let's go back in time to the end of the 20th century: a bizarre place where Y2K was the nation's biggest problem and Grant Hill was still healthy. Be sure to buckle up before the DeLorean starts in motion.

The year is 1999. Billups is a mile-high disappointment in Denver. In only his third season in the league, he is averaging a mere nine points and three assists a night for his third different team.

Ben Wallace is having his best season yet, but his numbers are still quite civilian (five points and eight rebounds per game). On a "loaded" Orlando Magic squad, Wallace is sharing his minutes in the pivot with players like John Amechi and Michael Doleac.

In the nation's capital, Hamilton is just starting his career. As a rookie, he is having trouble cracking the starting lineup and is relegated to playing 20 minutes a night off the bench. Hamilton averages nine points per contest and begins to be typecast as shooter with a limited overall package.

Prince is a slender six-foot-nine, 215-pound sophomore at the University of Kentucky. His numbers are solid, but unspectacular. Although Prince doesn't have any tattoos, NBA scouts swear they can see "tweener" written all over him.

Rasheed Wallace is the only pre-Piston enjoying any real success. He is leading the Portland Trail Blazers with averages of 16 points and 7 rebounds per game. However, many NBA observers are becoming concerned that Wallace has more attitude than ability. It seems a player who gets as many technical fouls as 'Sheed does could never be the cornerstone of a team in serious contention for a ring.

Fast-forward to the present. How did these spare parts come together to comprise the well-oiled machine that drove the Pistons to a championship?

Enter master mechanics, Larry Brown and Rick Carlisle. Brown and Carlisle were able to use scraps from a beat-up Pinto to build a new hotrod.

Detroit's current coach led his team to a title by convincing five role players they could shine as bright as any superstar.

As the legendary Notre Dame football coach Ara Parseghian once said, "A good coach will make his players see what they can be rather than what they are."

After five campaigns under the tutelage of good coaches, Detroit's "fairish five" are showing fans what Brown and Carlisle saw in them years ago. Today, Billups is the reigning NBA Finals MVP. Ben Wallace is this season's NBA Defensive Player of the Year. Hamilton is now considered by many to be the second-coming of Reggie Miller. Prince's play this year is helping to quiet complaints from fans who were miffed at the team's decision to pass on Carmelo Anthony. And Rasheed Wallace is letting his actions on the court do the talking for the first time in his career.

This group has dispelled the widely-accepted notion that teams need stars to win championships.

Leave it to a pair of skilled technicians to throw a wrench in the machine.

Posted by Chris Speckman at 6:37 PM | Comments (0)

Sports Q&A: Winslow+Cycle=Dumb

Robert from Butte, Montana asks, "Is Kellen Winslow, II the biggest idiot you've ever seen?"

I'll reserve judgment on Winslow's idiocy momentarily, but I must say I can't fault him for wanting to drive a motorcycle; I do fault him for his lack of driving ability. Did he not crash in a parking lot? If you buy yourself a 750cc motorbike, you should know that it's going to accelerate just a bit quicker than the Fisher-Price Big Wheel you had when you were five. I'm not Valentino Rossi, six-time MotoGP world champion, but I think I know how fast a crotch rocket can get away from you. Apparently, Winslow didn't know — that's why he totaled his bike and nearly ruined his career.

Sure, what he did was stupid, but at least he was injured crashing a motorcycle. That's a noble injury. I'm sure Winslow feels no shame answering the question "How did you get hurt?" with "Motorcycle crash."

Some athletes can't say as much. Do you think Sammy Sosa was proud to say he missed games because he injured his back sneezing? Or that Chuck Finley missed a start on the mound because his wife, Tawny Kitaen, beat him up? Sure, Kellen, your injuries are much more legitimate than Sosa's and Finley's.

But then, what if someone asks you the follow-up question: "How fast were you going, and where did you crash?" This is where you start looking not so cool. You could always lie and say you were doing 160 trying to elude the cops on the interstate. They make hit rap songs about that, you know. Unfortunately, for your sake and your reputation, your were cutting through the wind at a 35 mph clip ... in a parking lot! Awesome! Maybe they make country songs about that.

I can't fault you for not having your helmet properly strapped on. After all, you were only doing 35. I'm sure you didn't expect to crash at such a low speed. Heck, I don't wear a life jacket when I go wading, so I know what you were thinking. Anyway, what were you doing with a motorcycle anyway? You make millions every year to play football, and you might even make a few bucks not playing this year. Shouldn't you be driving a Hummer, a Benz, a Lexus, or some other status-mobile?

Let me guess. You didn't have a bike until a few days ago, when you realized, "Damn, I bought all the homies in my posse a bike, and they're having so much fun, I need to get myself one." That's it, isn't it? You fell victim to what we regular people call peer pressure. In your situation, and in the situation of many young, rich, and impressionable athletes/millionaires, you got bit by "posse pressure."

Look, your livelihood is your degree from the University of Miami ... wait, who am I kidding? Let's face it, you majored in football at Miami, and minored in academics. Your livelihood is football, and your livelihood is based on the speed and strength of your arms and legs. That's your investment, an investment that pays a pretty good dividend. To protect your investment, you should stay away from anything remotely hazardous to your body. And if you just can't resist living dangerously, at least do your homework. You failed your written driving test the first time you took it, and you only passed your driving test five days before your wrecked. Not to mention, you refused to take driving lessons.

Now, I know lessons would have looked whack in the eyes of your crew, but you could have done it on the sly. As it is now, you've ruined motorcycle riding for all other athletes now. Now, no other athlete can get on his motorcycle without thinking of your crash, or having someone remind him of it.

Remember this, K2. If your father's brilliant career could be defined by one moment, it is the image of the exhausted Chargers' tight end being helped off the field by teammates after the epic Chargers/Dolphins playoff game of 1982. As of now, your "career" is defined by you being carted away on a stretcher from your bone-headed parking lot accident. I'd say pops has you beat, and then some, and then some more.

So, yes, Winslow is an idiot. Just a few simple precautions would have prevented his accident. Luckily, for him and many other pro athletes, it helps to have the fall cushioned by cold, hard cash.

Ray from Spartanburg, S.C. asks, "Should the NCAA increase the distance of the three-point shot line?"

The NCAA has made their decision, at least for the 2005-2006 season, to keep the three-point line at its current distance of 19 feet, 9 inches. Had they chosen to increase the distance, I think, ultimately the results would be the same. In other words, the players would adjust and, within a few years, would probably be making the same percentage of threes.

In the eyes of many, the three-point shot plays too much of a role in the college game. Many players, and teams, neglect the easier two-point shot in favor of the more difficult three. Thusly, players are working less on inside shots and passing has taken a smaller role in the game. As a result, scoring in Men's Division I was the lowest since the inception of the three-pointer in 1986.

To me, scoring is not that important of a statistic. What is important is close games. The availability of the three-pointer makes the comeback more likely, and therefore, increases the chances of a close game. The 326 teams in Division I averaged 69.2 points per game. Yes, that's low, but that's only an average. That means that some teams had to average in the 80s to compensate for the teams scoring less than 69.2 to reach that average. These high-scoring teams are generally the ones we see on a regular basis. In this year's NCAA final, North Carolina and Illinois both passed the 80-point barrier, and Illinois' comeback from a double-digit deficit was mostly accomplished with successful three-pointers. So, basically, the three-pointer is fine where it is.

If the NCAA does decide to expand the three-point line, nothing will really change. Let's say, theoretically, the three-point line was moved to 24 feet. Sure, three-pointers taken and made would decrease, at first, but I don't think it would be long before players adjusted their range and were making 30% of these shots. Good shooters probably have that range in their arsenal right now; they just don't need to shoot that far out, right now.

In all likelihood, if the NCAA moves the line, it will be one foot at the most. Today's gunners would barely blink an eye at that change. As in all sports, athletes are becoming better shooters, and athletes in general. It makes sense to make the game more difficult. If the distance of baseball fences can be lengthened because players are hitting the ball farther, naturally the three-point line can be farther from the rim when players are making longer shots.

For the 2005-2006 season, the NCAA rules committee announced that an experimental line of 20 feet, 9 inches will be used on a limited basis. Statistically, you will see differences in the shooting percentages and scoring with the extended line in use. But I doubt it will be a major difference. Players are just too good and so able to adapt that we won't notice much of a change in the game, if any.

Get Your Questions Answered!

Do you have a question or comment? Need a weapon of mass destruction planted in a foreign country? Have a kidney you're willing to part with? Need an alternate use for that newly acquired college diploma? Then send your question/political affiliation/blood type/college major to [email protected]. You may get the answer you're looking for in the next column on Friday, May 27th.

Posted by Jeffrey Boswell at 4:58 PM | Comments (0)

May 12, 2005

NASCAR Top 10 Power Rankings: Week 10

Note: The quotes in this article are fictional.

1. Jimmie Johnson — First, the good news: Johnson was not involved in any accidents last Saturday night in Darlington, and he finished a solid seventh. The bad news: his Nextel Cup points lead decreased for the second straight week. It's now down to 127 points over second-place Jeff Gordon.

"No, Jimmie Johnson does not translate into Roman as 'Crashus Maximus,'" says Johnson, "so enough with the crash jokes. It was a good, clean race. I'm happy to get out of here with a seventh place. That's pretty good considering I almost had a wheel come off the car right about lap 259. Luckily, I detected a vibration, so we were able to change the tire before it came off. I'm pretty sure some foul play and/or sabotage was involved. I detected the distinct odor of Budweiser on the tire, and someone had scrawled, in the pathetic handwriting that could only come from an Earnhardt, the word 'idiot' on the tire."

It was a successful day for Johnson. He claimed his first top ten since his streak of 13-straight ended three weeks ago in Phoenix. And I don't care what you say, a 127-point lead in the points nine weeks into the season is pretty healthy. And, the last I checked, all it took was a one-point advantage at season's end to be named champion. Johnson is on his way.

"And there's two things all you Jimmie-haters can do about," barks Johnson. "And that's 'nothing' and 'like it.'"

Johnson finished second to Dale Earnhardt, Jr. last year at the Chevy American Revolution 400. Johnson always has a top-10 car. Barring any mistakes, Johnson should easily manage a top-10. He's determined to see the points lead until the end. If finishing 15th or 20th, as he did the last two weeks, is a bad day for Johnson, then his competitors should hope for a disastrous day for JJ if they intend to seriously challenge his points lead.

2. Jeff Gordon — Gordon pulled a second-place finish out of his tailpipe, with a car that was not second-place worthy. The #24 Monte Carlo competed in the top five for a majority of the day, but was no challenge for the cars of Greg Biffle and Ryan Newman. Gordon, who pitted for four tires during the race's last caution, was able to pass Newman, who stayed out during the caution, for second place. With the runner-up finish, Gordon moves up one position in the points to two, 127 points behind protégé Jimmie Johnson. In the last for weeks, Gordon has steadily climbed one notch each week in the points.

"Thank you very much," acknowledges Gordon. "Now, I must set my sights on the driver of the car I own, my employee, if you will, Jimmie Johnson. Jimmie is like a little brother to me, and I feel like I've taught him a lot over the years, so it will be hard classifying him as my chief rival. It'll be like Mr. Miyagi having to go Jet Li on the tail of his student, the Karate Kid. In this business, you have to sometimes place personal feelings aside in the name of good, hard racing. It all works out in NASCAR. That's why you can see two drivers on the verge of killing each other one minute, and claiming they're best friends the next, after the requisite brainwashing in the NASCAR disciplinary trailer."

Gordon has four top-10 finishes in the last four Richmond races, including a win in 2003. As always with Gordon, a top-five, if not a win, is highly likely.

3. Greg Biffle — Biffle's third win of the season ties him with Jeff Gordon for the series victory lead, and moved the Vancouver, Washington native into third in the points, up from fourth. Along with victories by Carl Edwards and Kurt Busch, Roush Racing has claimed five of 10 races this year.

"I know I'm not the most charismatic driver on the circuit," says Biffle. "'Greg' is certainly not short for 'Gregarious,' but a taste for the spotlight is not the measure of a man. Just look at another famous icon from the Great Northwest, Bigfoot, the mysterious furry beast, not the monster truck. Bigfoot was certainly a little camera shy. Heck, he was only filmed two or three times, and even those shots were a little blurry. But, later in his career, he overcame his shyness and actually had some guest-starring roles, albeit non-speaking ones, on The Six Million Dollar Man. I'm getting more and more comfortable in front of the camera, as many of you saw Sunday on Wind Tunnel with Dave Despain. Luckily, I do most of my talking behind the wheel."

Biffle was dominant, as he has been is all three of his wins. He led 176 of 370 laps, but needed a little luck late in the race to pass Ryan Newman. In two of his three victories, Biffle has led the most laps. In his other victory, he led the third most laps.

Biffle finished eighth in the fall Nextel Cup race at Richmond, and also scored a second in a Busch race. He tested there on May 3rd in preparation for Sunday's race, so expect a solid top ten finish for Biffle.

4. Mark Martin — Martin's farewell to Darlington was a race to remember, as the 24-year NASCAR veteran's final circuit on the "Lady in Black" resulted in a fourth place finish for the No. 6 Viagra Ford. Martin finished fourth, despite a spin two laps from the finish while he was running fifth. Martin recovered from the spin, and scrambled in the remaining laps to capture fourth.

"I underestimated the car's power just slightly," adds Martin. "Sometimes, with Viagra on the hood, you never know how much testosterone you've got under the hood. Luckily, I didn't hit the wall or collect anyone, so I was able to get it back close to the front."

Martin's fourth place moved him up five spaces in the points, and he currently sits sixth, 293 points behind leader Jimmie Johnson. Martin opened the season with consecutive top-10 results, but has yet to duplicate that feat since. The circuit at Richmond may be the answer. Martin has finished in the top 10 in five of the last six races there.

5. Kurt Busch — Was Kurt Busch driving in the Dodge Charger 500 in Darlington last Saturday on the Fox Network, or was he merely a passenger in the Twilight Zone 229 on the Sci-Fi Channel somewhere in outer space? His actions would lead you to believe the latter.

Starting from the 11th position, Busch crashed the No. 97 Irwin Tools Ford on the first lap, suffering damage that sent him to the garage for repairs. After returning, Busch was ordered to take his proper place in line during a caution period. When he refused, Busch was sent to the pits for a two-lap penalty. Upon hearing this news, Busch uttered some choice, yet profane, words over his radio directed at NASCAR officials. Busch then tossed a water bottle, hitting an official. Busch was then mandated to appear on the new NBC show, Law and Order: NASCAR Trailer edition, where I'm sure reprimands where order of business.

So Kurt, have you lost your mind? Having a few anger management issues? Did you mistakenly have an "Angry Man" dinner instead of your usual "Hungry Man?" Are you taking driving lessons from Kellen Winslow, Jr.?

"All of the above, my friend," answers Busch. "Any time I crash on lap 1, I become a lunatic. It's like a full moon to a werewolf; lap 1 wrecks have that effect on me. I'm sure, somewhere, Jimmy Spencer is cackling maniacally at my plight."

You're right, Kurt. But more specifically, he's calling you "ignorant," as he did on Speed TV's NASCAR Victory Lane.

Expect more verbal jabs tossed back and forth between longtime enemies Spencer and Busch, and expect Busch to harness his rage, under a NASCAR imposed probationary umbrella, and rebound with a more sane result in Richmond. Busch's meltdown cost him 99 points to Jimmie Johnson in the points, and he dropped two spots in the standings.

6. Elliott Sadler — After qualifying fourth and posting the seventh fastest time in practice, Sadler and the Robert Yates Racing No. 38 Ford expected nothing less than contention to win at Darlington. Instead, what they got was a car that seemed unresponsive and fickle for most of the day. The car lost power steering with about 150 laps to go, and that, compounded with brake trouble, made for a frustrating day for Sadler and team.

"You know, the car was acting just like a woman," explains Sadler. "One minute, everything is hunky-dory. Then, in the blink of an eye, something goes wrong and I have no idea why. I tried an offering of flowers, and even the insincere apology, but the car just wouldn't respond. Women and cars: can't live with them, can't live without them."

Despite his troubles, Sadler did manage a 20th-place finish, which maintained his standing of fifth in the Cup points. He did, however, lose 48 points to points leader Jimmie Johnson. Much of the credit for Sadler's finish, in spite of the car's difficulties, lies in the pits, with the M&M's Chocolate Thunder crew.

"That has to be the coolest name for a pit crew in the business," adds Sadler. "I just hope Daryl Dawkins, the man from the planet Lovetron who made shattering backboards cool, doesn't mind us infringing on the name he made famous."

7. Tony Stewart — Like many drivers last Saturday night, Stewart struggled to fight a balance between a car with too much bite and a car lacking grip. Fortunately for the No. 20 Joe Gibbs Racing Home Depot Chevrolet team, Stewart is the type of driver who can take a bad car and make it look good. Stewart started the race 15th and patiently remained there for much of the race, finally making his move to the top-10 late in the race. Stewart now stands seventh in the points, 297 points from the front.

"Honestly, it was a boring race," notes Stewart. "I felt like I was on a merry-go-round, just going in circles, making up no ground and losing no ground. Come to think of it, I think I would have much rather been on a merry-go-round, riding an ostrich or a pig while listening to some wacky carnival music, maybe with a stick of cotton candy and some funnel cake. That's the life."

Stewart can expect a little more excitement this Saturday night in Richmond. He won this race in 2001 and 2002, and finished fourth last year. Stewart should contend for the win, and don't be surprised if he renews a feud with one of his competitors, as well.

8. Jamie McMurray — McMurray completed a satisfying day in Darlington with a sixth-place finish in which he improved his position four places in the final two laps. McMurray now stands eighth, up from 10th, in the points standings.

After starting 13th, McMurray slowly worked the No. 42 Havoline machine to the front, finally cracking the top 10 on lap 139. McMurray battled a hardheaded car all day, and his top-10 salvaged an otherwise miserable day for Chip Ganassi racing (teammates Casey Mears and Sterling Marlin finished 39th and 41st, respectively).

"As a twenty-something heartthrob," explains McMurray, "I like my women loose, but not my cars. I must credit my crew for continually adjusting and giving me a car good enough for the top ten."

McMurray hopes to continue his ascent in the points, which ideally will result in his ultimate goal: the cover of Rolling Stone magazine.

9. Ryan Newman — Newman was well on his way to victory, having opened up a four-second margin, when Mark Martin spun and brought out the race's 12th caution. As most of the front-runners chose to pit for fresh tires, Newman stayed on the track, and was later helpless as Biffle stormed by on his new set of rubber.

"Yeah, we made a calculated decision that didn't work out," explains Newman. "Apparently, the calculator we utilized to make that calculated decision didn't have any batteries. We were thinking we could keep that four second lead when we restarted. We didn't realize that the field bunches up on restarts, nor did we realize that tires would play such a critical role, even though Darlington is probably one of the most abrasive surfaces in racing."

Newman also was hoping for some help from teammate Rusty Wallace after the final caution. Newman wanted Wallace to stay on the track and serve as a buffer between Newman and challengers to his lead. Not surprisingly, Wallace refused and chose to pit.

"As teammates, Rusty and I get along about as well as Shaquille O'Neal and Kobe Bryant with the Lakers," says Newman. "If Rusty ever wants my autograph, he'll have to pay for it."

As is usually the case, Newman has aced qualifying at Richmond in years past, starting in the top five each time in the last four races there. He recorded a top-10 in this race last year, and won the fall race in 2003. Expect Newman to start on the front row; where he finishes is a mystery.

10. Dale Earnhardt, Jr. — Junior upheld his ninth-place position in the points with an eighth-place drive in Darlington. Earnhardt cracked the top 10 on lap 82, fell to 18th with about 60 laps to go, an made up 10 spots to reach eighth, right behind newfound pal Jimmie Johnson.

As stated last week in this column, Junior inconsistencies begin with qualifying. Last year, Junior posted only one qualifying effort 30th or worse (he started 30th at Bristol in August). This year, through 10 races, Earnhardt has qualified 34th or worse five times, and has started in the top 10 only once, at Daytona. Dale Earnhardt, Inc.'s forte used to be its horsepower; has DEI lost its edge?

"Man, what are you? Some kind of idiot?" asks Junior. "The guys in the engine department are working their fingers to the bone."

What do you get?

"Bony fingers, but hopefully a faster car as well."

If the No. 8 Budweiser team could just plug in the setup for last year into this year's car, success would follow. Earnhardt won this race last year, and was second in Richmond in September. If Junior can qualify respectably, he could challenge. A start in the 30s would make it much more difficult to contend up front with the cars who will qualify and race well.

Posted by Jeffrey Boswell at 3:18 PM | Comments (4)

Random NFL Offseason Ramblings

For the Eagles, who managed to keep it together through three consecutive NFC Championship defeats, losing the Super Bowl may have proven to be just a little more than the team could take.

This offseason, the team finds itself infested with contract disputes, holdouts, and controversy. Defensive tackle Corey Simon and Pro Bowl running back Brian Westbrook (who had a combined 1,515 yards from scrimmage and nine touchdowns) have so far both turned their heads to the idea of signing one-year tender offers.

If that wasn't enough, often loud, seldom productive WR Freddie Mitchell was just released after nobody was willing to trade for him, and Terrell Owens wants to renegotiate his seven-year, $49-million contract that he has six years left on.

But things get worse. Since the Super Bowl ended, rumors have been flying about QB Donavan McNabb being sick and/or out of breath in the huddle at the end of the game. After Owens told the media he should get more money and not to blame losing the Super Bowl on him because he, "wasn't the guy who got tired in the Super Bowl," McNabb fired back, telling reporters, "I don't play games in the media ... I'm not going to sit here and to have a war of words. I'm a man at what I do. If there's a problem with anyone and they feel the need to lash out, they know how to get in touch with me and we can handle it like men."

While Donavan took the high road here, clearly, things aren't as rosy as they seemed between wide receiver and quarterback. Perhaps the players figure that losing the Super Bowl is the best this team is going to accomplish and it is all downhill from here. They might as well try to get paid while their name is still in the headlines before the slide into oblivion.

If the Eagles are the polar ice caps, surely then Kellen Winslow, Jr. is the North Korea of the NFL. Both keep reminding us of the devastating potential they have, but neither have actually shown the world anything. When Winslow broke his leg during his second professional game and missed the rest of his rookie season, it wasn't out of bounds to think that this might help curb his brashness and bring him down a peg or two.

I guess pegs really don't fit in square holes. Still rehabilitating his leg, Winslow decided this was a good time to start riding a motorcycle. Reportedly, Winslow ignored advice to take riding lessons. One doesn't need Carnac the Magnificent to find out what's in this envelope. Over a week has passed since the accident and the former first-round draft pick remains hospitalized after suffering internal injuries and damage to his right knee. Reports vary as to the severity of the injury and the Browns are only willing to say that they are "concerned" about his knee. Clearly, the team must be wondering about his head, too.

Finally, the "I'm George Bush and I don't want my country in the Kyoto Treaty" award goes to Green Bay Packers wide receiver Javon Walker, who did not report for mandatory minicamp. For as good as Brett Favre makes Walker look and all the leadership Favre puts on his back for that team, the least Walker could do is be focused on football for what might be Favre's final season. After all, Walker still has two years left on a six-year, $7.5-million contract.

Posted by Gary Geffen at 2:25 PM | Comments (2)

May 11, 2005

Van Gundy and Alleged NBA Conspiracies

The Jeff Van Gundy saga has come to its conclusion for now with Van Gundy retreating from earlier statements about playoff officiating. In his contrite explanation, he says that he never meant to imply that a NBA referee told him the officials were looking more closely at Yao Ming in response to complaints by Dallas Mavericks owner Mark Cuban.

Instead, he was "purposefully vague" and was referring to a league official, but not a referee. In response, the NBA said the investigation is closed. Commissioner David Stern's threat of banishment from the game has been satiated with the Houston Rockets' loss to the Dallas Mavericks in seven games.

But did Van Gundy have a legitimate point? Is there a discrepancy in how games or players are officiated, especially in the playoffs? Rumors of bias or outright conspiracy have been swirling around the league for years. Most notably from the fans of smaller-market teams. A large number of these complaints surround the past success of the Shaq-led Los Angeles Lakers. But the whispers have been around since Michael Jordan's day when he seemed to get away with push-offs to free himself up for last second shots. In watching the video, there isn't much doubt that he used his arm and not his legs to create the separation between himself and Bryon Russell in Game 6 of the 1998 NBA Finals versus the Utah Jazz.

Since then, the focus on biased officiating has fallen on the big men. Shaq has long been regarded as receiving favorable treatment in the playoffs, in no large part because he played for one of the largest media markets in the country. This argument was repeated over and over by fans of the Sacramento Kings and the Portland Trailblazers who watched year after year as their team lost to the Lakers in the playoffs. Remember the Blazers/Lakers Western Conference championship Game 7 in 2000?

And while they were correct in noting the inconsistency of playoff officiating, they were not correct about a systematic bias. I used to believe in the large-market bias, but have come to the conclusion that no professional sports league can survive while being biased. There are just too many replays and too many fans for it to be possible.

Van Gundy did, however, bring up a valid point that the NBA needs to address to put the bias rumors to rest for good. There is no consistent set of rules for officiating the really big centers in the league. Fouls outside the paint are set in stone. Players know when they can and can't use their hands, and how much contact will be allowed. On the inside, what constitutes a foul has varied from game to game, changing in response to coaches' complaints and fan outrage.

On some days, Shaq was called for fouls with minimal contact against defenders, and defenders then exploited the Hack-a-Shaq defense. Other times, Shaq was able to shoulder, elbow, and force defenders out of his way towards the basket. With more years of experience, the variability in officiating Shaq has faded, and instead there do seem to be some rules for his inside play.

Yao Ming's foul trouble mirrors the early problems with Shaq in that the league's on court officials are still learning what is legal and illegal for the 7-6 center. Unlike Shaq, Yao is not the inside presence, but instead extends his game out past the free throw line. This tendency to play outside of the paint has resulted in Yao getting fouls called on him that are appropriate for guards, but not for centers. Part of this is because he has a tendency to reach in instead of using his feet, but you also don't see a lot of centers getting the ticky tack foul calls that Yao picks up.

It's easy to see where Van Gundy's frustration came from. In a couple of years, the NBA will probably be comfortable with Yao's style of play and thus be able to officiate him better. Which is good for Yao, but what happens to the next real big center who comes into the league? Will he also go through a similar process as the league tries to figure out what is a foul for him?

What the NBA needs to do is not base its fouls on an individual player, but instead come to a consensus about what is a foul for all centers. Let the fans know, call the games accordingly, and these rumors of bias won't have any legs to stand on. As more taller and wider players come to the NBA, officials will have to know how to call the game. Or else these rumors will continue to plague the league until they correct their big men inconsistency.

Posted by Chris Lindshield at 2:36 PM | Comments (0)

Will Adam Gilchrist Be the Future Jason Varitek?

Baseball and cricket have long been viewed as distant cousins at loggerheads. But if one goes by news reports, Australian cricket star Adam Gilchrist might be the bridge to connect these stick and ball sports. However, it's still iffy whether Gilchrist could end up as the next biggest slugger in America. He has got the power, precision, and timing — traits that mold a slugger's career.

Obviously, Gilchrist's smashing hits have not only made headline news in Australia, but also in one certain ball club that now seemingly basks in the glory of demystifying an 86-year-old myth (need anymore clues?). Recent news reports about the Boston Red Sox planning to offer Gilchrist a tryout cannot be rubbished aside as mere PR glib.

According to an Associated Press story, the Red Sox first base coach and recruiting agent Jon Deeble had informed the club about Gilchrist's swashbuckling stroke play.

"We expressed interest in him and we think he has a lot of potential, and the club has tapes of him batting," Deeble said. "Boston has a payroll of $160 million a year and it's something worth having a look at."

Considering the paycheck that cricket offers, Gilchrist, though his agent strongly refutes any idea of Gilchrist crossing the pond, could be lured into signing a contract since baseball salaries often dwarf those of cricket's.

For his part, Gilchrist's agent, Steve Atkinson, issued a bland press statement.

"Adam has taken this as a compliment," Atkinson told the AP. "There are any number of collegiate players in America who would cut their non-pitching arm off to get a call from a major league team saying we would like to come down and have a look at you.

He went on to reiterate Gilchrist's commitment toward cricket. "Cricket remains his number one priority and the approach may not come to anything but it is genuine. If we did anything it would have to fit in with his cricket commitments."

But Deeble in an e-mail has suggested that the whole issue has been blown out of proportions by the press. "This was beat up by the press and was never an option," Deeble said. However, with the ahead-of-the-curve thinking and 'moneyball' tactics by Theo Epstein and the Red Sox front office, anything is possible. Moreover in baseball, anything that's outrageously ridiculous is just a spring training away from reality.

Getting Gilchrist wouldn't be such a bad idea after all. He has the uncanny knack of sweet-spotting the ball every time he comes to the crease (nee plate.) He has amazing hand-eye coordination, a pre-requisite in both baseball and cricket. But talking him into accepting an offer to move his family to the States will be a tall order and his age might be a deterrent from offering a major league contract right away. Gilchrist, who is now 33, has already plotted his cricketing career, and would want to hang up his boots by the end of 2007 to spend more time with his family.

It will be interesting to see how the Australian wicketkeeper (catcher) manages to cope with a round bat rather than a straight one — if he ends up in major leagues, that is. But getting to the basics won't be a problem since Gilchrist has played baseball as a school kid when he was 14-years-old.

Still, Deeble and Atkinson would want us to believe that this whole issue is far-fetched and pretty much a matter of barstool banter.

However, Gilchrist won't be the first Australian to play in the major leagues. There have been several occasions when Australians have tried out baseball. Brett Lee, Australia's strike bowler (pitcher in baseball lingo) actually tried out for the Arizona Diamondbacks. But he got disinterested and came back to Australia to kick-start his successful cricket campaign.

Furthermore, great Australian cricketers of the past eras have always tested the waters in baseball. Allan Border, Greg Chappell, and Ian Chappell are a few of the Aussie greats to have taken up the sport either out of curiosity or for sheer fun. One of Chappell's nephews actually made it to the farm system of the Toronto Blue Jays.

If the various hurdles are cleared for Gilchrist to play for the Red Sox, it could actually open up new vistas for several hard-hitting cricketers. And the only problem would be for the scouts. Not only will they be camping in Dominican Republic and Puerto Rico, but England, South Africa, and India might also be included in their travel schedule. But that remains a stretch at the moment, thankfully.

Posted by Venkat Ganesan at 2:22 PM | Comments (1)

May 10, 2005

Barry Bonds, a Legacy in Transition

In professional sports, the statistical measures of men are usually airtight alibis for any character flaws a participant may harbor. On film, on paper, in the mind's eye, Barry Lamar Bonds holds his own when viewed in light of standards set by the game's all-time greats.

Besides all this, baseball's history is a veritable stew of unsavory characters ... as such, many take to task any talk of asterisks or suspensions or any other compromising of Barry's accomplishments based on his personal life and any improprieties that may be exposed. This article examines just that argument.

Bonds' problems start and finish with his attitude. There isn't a baseball fan on this planet that can argue against Barry's entire body of work in the sport: 700 home runs, 1800 runs batted in, 500 steals, 500 doubles, .300 career average, 2000 runs scored — the pure numbers are as impressive a collection as any one man can boast. Just as true, however, is the notion that there also isn't a baseball fan on this planet that can argue for the man's behavior over the past 18 years. To this end, and since this is a story about baseball, we'll employ the "three strikes and you're out" theory to Barry and his standing with the public.

Barry's behavior is that of a person who feels a strong sense of entitlement. This, as one would imagine, tends to rub the "working man" the wrong way. Why, many wonder, should we bow down to the feet of this athlete, when it is ultimately our support and the support from our peers that pay for his Calvin Klein wardrobe, his Malibu dream home, and his gluttonous habits? How dare he challenge the standards we demand of him when it is us who made him into what he is today?

Strike one.

In recent months, Bonds has been brought to the forefront of the sporting world as a key figure in a scandal that threatens to tear the delicate threads of our "national pastime." Steroids have been a very real problem in professional sports for quite some time, but only now do we begin to see widespread use by teenagers trying to gain a competitive edge on the playing fields and courts of middle America.

As a result, the rose colored glasses through which we have chosen to view our country's pro sport leagues have been replaced by magnifying glasses, shedding a whole new light on once "untouchable" grounds within baseball clubhouses, dugouts, and private lives. What we are seeing is not at all reassuring, but we press on, diligently trying to right the wrongs that we have, until now, by and large ignored.

Mr. Bonds has, to say the least, refused to jump on and ride this wave of justice, choosing rather to make excuses, pin blame on others and not always being as candid about these things as we would have hoped. The feeling the public gets from Bonds is, "I don't intrude on your house and your personal affairs, why must you encroach upon mine?" Funny, we never heard him complaining when his visage was being beamed into millions of homes a day by way of commercial, ballgame, or televised interview. It seems rather hypocritical of him to demand his space and privacy now when the results may be far less appealing than a walk-off home run or game-winning RBI.

Strike two.

Over the last few weeks, further indiscretions in Barry's life have come to surface. Now is a good time to point out that everyone makes mistakes, the public accepts this and has always been steadfast in its support of legendary athletes, pretty much regardless of what habits they partake, so long as they didn't put themselves above the same laws that we are obligated to live by. As the saying goes, the only sure things in life are death, taxes, and the Cubs losing (okay, added that last one, but am I wrong?).

Well, it has recently come to light that Barry doesn't necessarily agree with that adage. It is becoming more and more apparent that tax fraud allegations that have surfaced and resurfaced over the past several years regarding Bonds and memorabilia sales are not as far off based as previously thought. With a federal investigation apparently taking place, the public now sees that this multi-millionaire who has difficulties taking responsibility for his own actions now seems to feel that, for whatever reason, he doesn't need to follow the same rules as the rest of us.

Ladies and gentlemen, that is strike three. As with most "strike three" calls, Barry is out, at least in the public's eye. The story could end there, but it doesn't — Camp Barry has brought it further in an attempt to discredit his detractors. So now we are faced with a whole new set of issues.

Many fans of Barry and the Giants are crying foul for the public distaste shown Bonds throughout these ordeals. They, and even Barry to some extent, scream "racism" and "bigotry" and wonder aloud why Mark McGwire isn't subject to these same criticisms when he clearly is every bit as culpable for the onset of performance enhancers in baseball. This is an unfortunate argument in more ways than one.

Bonds has long been a very loud voice in the battle against racism in sports. For years he has regaled us with wonderfully touching stories of how he has been used and abused by "the system" and by white owners as they make millions of dollars from his very presence and then pinch every penny on its way out the door when it comes to doling out Barry's slice of that pie.

Of course, he told those stories as he lounged in his custom leather massage chair in the San Francisco clubhouse or as he climbed into his gold-plated Hummer and sped towards his 120-acre mansion atop his own private mountain. Thusly, we always took his comments on these issues with a grain of salt, but yet spoke of them with a bit of trepidation, for fear of awaking a dormant dragon of a story that none of us really wanted to try to slay.

Now we are forced to throw ourselves headlong into the path of the dragon, as race is clearly and unfortunately being brought into this conversation. Yes, Barry Bonds is a rich black man in a "white man's world." Without devolving into a political commentary here, there is no doubt that America's wealthy are predominately white males and that much of the country's inner cities are filled with minorities, particular those of African American ancestry.

Equally as clear is the fact that, while the playing field is evening, white men in positions of power still feel, by and large, superior to black men even if they have similar assets and resources. This is a travesty, but it is not the rule, but rather the exception. To that end, for Barry Bonds or any of his supporters to hide behind a curtain of racism whenever the "going gets tough" is not only a blatant misuse of a very serious and problematic reality, but it is a flat out untruth. Proof? Three words: Peter Edward Rose.

Pete Rose is as white as white gets. With his Mayberry haircut and unassuming facial features, he was blue collar in everything he did as a player and manager (disregard, for a moment, the gambling addiction — I'm talking on-field qualities here, I'll get to that other stuff later). Rose is one of four children from Cincinnati, lived his life in the city he was raised, and became synonymous with Ohio's working class values. As has been well-documented, Mr. Rose made some very large errors in judgment and then compounded said errors by lying and deceiving his fans, his accusers and the general public.

(For those of you who have been in a cave (or in a baseball void like Tampa Bay) for the past 10 years or so, Rose was accused of and found guilty of illegally betting on sporting events in the early-'80s, including his own games when he was manager of the Reds. After denying the latter of these facts for years, Rose finally publicly admitted as much in 2003 and seemingly took responsibility for his actions, though admittedly much, much later than any of us would have hoped.)

This is the extent of Pete Rose's improprieties, at least in regards to the legal side of things. He broke a law, paid his price to society, and now is required to pay is debt to the sport he disgraced. As a result, the all-time Major League Baseball hits leader is not in his sport's Hall of Fame. Never before has a player of his stature been levied such a stiff penalty. The accolades that Rose earned playing baseball have, rightly or wrongly, forever been tainted by his off-field actions. Statistical excellence be damned, Rose has not yet been given his due, and, at least in my opinion, for good reason. He felt he was above the game and he learned through swift and effective punishment, that he was not.

Did Pete Rose get special treatment based on his race? As my Magic 8-Ball says, "All signs point to no." "Charlie Hustle" was found guilty of sports gambling, which is against the law here in the U.S. If he hadn't bet on baseball — specifically games in which he was involved — he'd likely be in the Hall of Fame today next to other unsavory stars of yesteryear like Mickey Mantle (alcoholic), Babe Ruth (pandering and partying), and Ty Cobb (general evildoer). But in disgracing and disrespecting the game that defined him, he broke the "golden rule." The punishment must fit the crime.

In comparison, is Barry Bonds getting a raw deal because he is black? The facts imply otherwise. Put it in perspective: Bonds may well have broken the law of the land on two separate, very clear occasions. Steroids are illegal, as is the use and sale of THG. It is possible that Bonds not only was a user, but enabled other users (see Gary Sheffield), which would make him a trafficker or accessory, as well. Add to this federal tax evasion charges, and Bonds could wind up being a two-time offender of some big-time illegal activities.

Now, all of that is well and good, the man may be ilk to the afore-mentioned "ne'er-do-wells", but this shouldn't and wouldn't take away from his accomplishments or standing in the sport. However, since the tax issues are based on an opportunity afforded Bonds by Major League Baseball and since his [alleged] steroid use is something that will have negatively affected the standing and reputation of professional baseball, the similarities to Rose are clear and inarguable and, as was the case with Pete, the punishment must fit the crime.

I'll be the first to admit that Major League Baseball used to clearly see colors and weigh that into any discussion, but Jackie Robinson broke through that barrier and Hank Aaron tore it down. To be sure, remnants still exist, especially in those areas where the wall was the thickest. Likely, there will always be such remnants. But the wall is low enough now for most to step over it.

It is a shame that Barry Bonds and his supporters are trying to add mortar to that wall so that he has a place to hide. Three strikes and you're out, Barry. Black, white, red, or yellow, those are the rules of the game.

Posted by Matt Thomas at 6:28 PM | Comments (2)

When a Caddie Shacks Up

After writing and rewriting about 11 different leads for this column, I'm just going to state the facts. There is really no other way to explain the most ludicrous lawsuit to rock the golf world in some time. Apparently, Gary Robinson, the former LPGA caddie for Jackie Gallagher-Smith, is suing his former boss, claiming that she seduced him in order to get pregnant. In other words, Gary Robinson is a moron.

There are so many things wrong with this situation that I don't even know where to start. I guess the first question I have is why is Robinson, 26, still a caddie? I know taking a job as a caddy is a good way to make some money on the side, but unless Robinson is the oldest high school senior I've ever heard of and he needs to save his money for prom, it's time for him to move on.

Robinson started caddying for Gallagher-Smith a little more than a year ago, and he said she started coming on to him almost immediately. He went on to say that he was in an emotional state at that period in his life after a breakup with his girlfriend. Stop there. I never could've seen this coming, mainly because I would've bet good money that Robinson didn't have a girlfriend to begin with.

That being said, why would she break it off with him? Did she get tired of receiving tokens for buckets of balls as birthday gifts? Wasn't she satisfied with free rounds of golf instead of dates? After all, nothing says, "I love you" like 15% off her next purchase from the pro shop. Nevertheless, the girl was gone, and Robinson was in a tough state.

It was then that Gallagher-Smith, who had been known as a devout Christian and was Robinson's spiritual adviser, began coming on to him. During the next several months, the two engaged in unprotected sex more than a few times, resulting in Gallagher-Smith getting pregnant. Now Robinson is claiming he was used as an "unwitting" sperm donor.

What's "unwitting" about unprotected sex? If she was making him do something he didn't want to, why did he keep doing it? I know he was a 26-year-old caddy, so I'm not pushing the argument that he's the sharpest knife in the drawer, but he can't still believe that babies are delivered via stork. Why does he think there's a kid in every NBA city that sends Shawn Kemp a card on Father's Day? This lawsuit has about as much justification as the overweight kid suing McDonald's for making him fat.

I'm sure Robinson wants to get either a few extra bucks out of Gallagher-Smith or score a guest role on "Desperate Housewives," but nothing about his case makes any sense. Didn't he see anything wrong with a spiritual adviser that practiced adultery instead of preaching against it?

Didn't he have any warning bells going off in his head when he was contemplating this suit? If she was after a sperm donor, why would she pick Robinson? Did she want a baby girl who could play golf and carry her own clubs? Robinson is also upset that this scandal has hurt his chances of landing another caddying job.

"The likelihood that I will ever get another caddying job, especially in the LPGA, is very, very unlikely," he said.

He should thank her for that, now he's forced to get a real job. Years from now, Robinson might be able to look back on his life and single this out as the thing that changed his life. He would be able to look up Mrs. Gallagher-Smith and have a teary reunion in which he explains how she helped him do something with his life.

Then again, years from now, Robinson might find himself working at a driving range shagging golf balls with a mattress tied to his back.

Mark Chalifoux is also a weekly columnist for SportsFan Magazine. His columns appear every Tuesday on Sports Central. You can e-mail Mark at [email protected].

Posted by Mark Chalifoux at 5:38 PM | Comments (1)

May 9, 2005

A Tighter Fit in Round Two of NBA Playoffs

The grueling first round of the playoffs is finally over. It took two weeks and two game sevens, but we finally have the Elite Eight of the NBA. And now that the "weeds" have been pulled from the garden, there should be nothing but great basketball left throughout the postseason, right?

That seemed to be the case in 2004, when a bunch of one-sided series in round one turned the intensity up a notch in the conference semis. Each matchup went at least six games, with every series split 2-2 heading into game five. While most of the contests weren't close, the momentum shifts back and forth left the outcomes fairly unpredictable.

With two of the seven-game series getting underway Sunday, there are, as always, lots of questions that will be answered over the next 10-14 days.

Can the Wizards Become This Year's Heat?

In '04, a young and unheralded Miami squad finished strong to just make it into the postseason. After defeating a seasoned New Orleans Hornets team in the first round, the Heat challenged the top-seeded Pacers for the better part of six games. A year later, Miami has switched roles. The Heat are at the top of the Eastern Conference, hosting a Washington team that nobody expected to get this far into the season.

The Wizards have a potent attack on the perimeter with Gilbert Arenas (23.0 ppg), Larry Hughes (22.2 ppg), and Antawn Jamison (18.2 ppg). But an 0-4 regular season record vs. Miami, along with little force inside to deal with a rested Shaq, is too much to overcome. People of the capital, enjoy the first series win in 23 years ... it'll be the last one this year. Miami wins in five.

Does Seattle Have Enough Shots to Move on?

The Sonics got to this point of the season by way of their shooting touch. Seattle hit 47% of its field goals and out-rebounded Sacramento by almost seven boards a game to win round one. With that in tow, the time has come to face the defensive juggernaut known as San Antonio.

The Sonics aren't scared of the Spurs, winning their first two meetings and splitting the season series. However, for them to succeed now, Jerome James must continue to shock the basketball world. His stats against the Kings (17.2 ppg, 9.4 rpg) were a pleasant surprise, but that production against San Antone won't come as easily.

The other X-factor in the series is that Latin sensation, Manu Ginobili. Denver wasn't ousted because of Tim Duncan or Tony Parker. Ginobili led the team in scoring and provided their spark off the bench.

It was the Argentinean that drove through the Nuggets' D at will, breaking them down at every key moment from game two on. He's the man Seattle must control, and, unfortunately, the Sonics don't have an answer defensively. San Antonio takes it in six.

Will History Repeat Itself?

This question to the Pistons/Pacers series can be answered on a couple of different levels. After the "Malace at the Palace" (or whatever name you call it) in November, Detroit and Indiana still had to play each other three times. Through the suspensions, drama, and even a bomb threat, the team continued playing. On this level, history moves on.

Then, there is the level of intensity that these two teams have displayed over the past couple of years on the court. In the short-term, this matchup has become quite a rivalry lately. It started last season when the teams met in the Eastern Conference Finals.

In four of the six contests, the margin of victory was seven points or less. While the makeup of the teams is a little different since Nov. 19th, the Pistons and Pacers still managed to go 2-2 against each other, and the home team lost every game.

Don't expect the tenacity to go gently into that good night. However, with five players scoring in double figures against Philadelphia, the Pistons have too much balance to let this series go to seven. Just like last year, Detroit wins in six.

Can Dallas Run With the Suns?

I really shouldn't be asking this question. In the same vein of Washington trying to become this year's version of the '04 Heat, Phoenix is the 2005 model of Maverick teams for the past few years. It doesn't come as a surprise since NBA MVP Steve Nash is at the helm. The Suns upped their point average from 110.4 (regular season) to 113.8 ppg during their sweep of Memphis.

However, even without Nash running the point, the Mavericks still like to play up-and-down basketball. The problem for Phoenix is that the Mavs have more depth, defense (96.8 to 103.3 pts. allowed over the regular stanza), and playoff experience than the Western Conference's top seed. With all those factors playing against the Suns, this is the upset to pick. Dallas is victorious in seven games.

All told, it should be an interesting second round of the playoff season. With a difference in styles, two run-and-gunners, a defensive struggle, and a shot to prove someone's worth on the line, entertainment should be at a pretty high level. At least, I hope it is for as long as these series might take.

Posted by Jonathan Lowe at 1:38 PM | Comments (0)

Modern Problems, Modern Solutions

Baseball is in trouble. Fans are picking fights with players, the luxury tax has failed to even the playing field, and, oh yeah ... there's that whole steroid issue. Any John "Off His" Rocker can identify baseball's problems, of course. It is finding solutions that keeps Bud Selig up at night. Relax, commissioner, you can put the sleeping pills away. Outlined below are innovative and appropriate solutions to baseball's major problems.

Foolish Fans

Last month, a Red Sox fan instigated an altercation with Yankee outfielder Gary Sheffield, which accomplished little except to make everyone nervous and give Tony Kornheiser and Michael Wilbon something to yap about for a week. There was the basketball incident at Detroit's Palace of Auburn Hills. A Texas Rangers reliever Frank Francisco threw a chair at a fun during a September game last season. Milton Bradley recently hurled a beer bottle into the stands, he was so outraged by a spectator. The images of two drunken idiots at Comiskey Park jumping onto the field and attacking Tom Gamboa, the first base coach of the Kansas City Royals, are still vivid in everyone's minds.

The moronic fans (excluding the women who became target practice for Francisco, and who was simply in the wrong place at the wrong time) who promote these types of confrontations need to be punished, severely. I'm not talking bans from ballparks, or jail time. I have a much worse punishment in mind.

Make them sign autographs, and lots of them. One autograph for every player, coach, manager, umpire, and executive involved in Major League Baseball. An autograph for all their family members, as well, and in-laws. Maybe that will show the fools who provoke players what it's like to be one of those athletes, how many people are relying on them, and what expectations they deal with. They'd learn pretty quickly that the view from the seats isn't so terrible after all.

Luxury Tax Failures

When the luxury tax was first introduced by Bud Selig, it was met with great opposition from large-market teams. More specifically, the Yankees were up in arms. Love him or hate him, one must admire George Steinbrenner for spending whatever it takes to build a winner (let's not fool ourselves, folks, the Yanks will make the postseason even after this horrendous start). The Yankees' thinking is that in a free-market society, The Boss should be allowed to splurge until every last credit card is maxed out.

The luxury tax threshold, roughly $128 million for 2005, acts roughly as an optional salary cap, where teams exceeding the threshold in payroll would have to doll out dead money to MLB, which would then be redistributed evenly to all 30 teams. Milwaukee, Pittsburgh, and a host of other small-market teams were of course elated at the prospect of a luxury tax threshold, which would provide them with extra revenue if the likes of New York overspent. This supposedly would create parity across the league, and keep the big market teams from overspending. Riiiight.

Not only has Steinbrenner not reduced payroll, he's increased it dramatically, to almost $206 million in 2005. To put that in perspective, no other team has a payroll higher than $121 million, and the Yanks doll out more for their roster than Cleveland, Milwaukee, Pittsburgh, Kansas City, and Tampa Bay (who spends a measly $30 million a year) — combined.

If the threat of lost money doesn't scare Gorgeous George, the threat of lost talent will. I propose this: for every $10 million over the luxury threshold a team is, one player chosen at random will be put in a league-wide lottery. In said lottery, the teams with the shallowest pockets would get the most ping pong balls (Tampa Bay would have a better shot at the player than Boston, since the whole idea is parity), and the offending team would still be responsible for the player's contract.

Thus, if the Yankees were more than $70 million (seven random players worth) over the luxury tax threshold, as they are now, and if fate frowned on the Pinstripes, they could potentially lose Alex Rodriguez, Derek Jeter, Gary Sheffield, Jorge Posada, Randy Johnson, Mike Mussina, and Mariano Rivera all in the same offseason. Better hope the commissioner doesn't hear of that idea, Joe Torre.

Steroid Abuser

Another issue Joe Torre has to worry about, thanks to rumors surrounding Sheffield and first baseman Jason Giambi, is steroid policy in Major League Baseball. The current policy is an improvement over the old, but it still lacks bite. Selig recently proposed a strengthened policy that apparently the union is willing to discuss. Still, cheaters try and get by the system — almost 50 minor leaguers and five major leaguers have been caught using steroids thus far, including recent culprit Minnesota Twins reliever Juan Rincon, the most prominent bust to date. Rincon claims to have used illegal substances unknowingly, but then again, so has everyone who's been caught up to this point.

Obviously, not everyone is scared by the system in place. So what might be a better deterrent for players caught using steroids? To understand the answer to this, one must understand the story of Pete Gray. In 1945, Pete Gray made baseball history as a speedy outfielder who would swing and make contact with his left arm ... the only arm he had. Mordecai Brown pitched without a few fingers. Jim Abbot thrived with just one working hand. Both were inspirational people who overcame quite a lot of difficulty to fulfill their dreams. Gray made it to Major League Baseball minus a whole arm. If that isn't determination, I don't know what is.

Steroid abusers try and get an illegal advantage over their competition. Thus, their penalty should be to see what it's like to be at a constant disadvantage. Their next 162 games, should they be able to stick in the majors, must be played with one arm tied behind their back. This is not to mock Gray — contrarily, it's in reverence for him. If the man was able to make it the Major Leagues with one arm, albeit while many of baseball's biggest stars were fighting in World War II, steroid abusers should damn well be able to make it in the bigs with two. If they can't, then it's time to move on and start sending off resumes to minor league broadcast booths.

There you have it, Bud Selig. The solutions to all of baseball's modern problems. Fans will no longer pick fights, the Yankees will stop over-spending, and steroids will become a distant memory. Everybody (minus The Boss) is happy, and the Golden Age of Baseball may continue unthreatened. Now if we could just to do something about those pesky ticket prices...

Extra Innings: Vetoed MLB Changes

* To prevent outfielders from succumbing to alligator arms when approaching the stands, replace the outfield wall with the material used in those giant bouncing houses you played in as a kid. Award one run to the team of any outfielder who bounces back to the infield.

* Get rid of the DH. To make up for the lost offense, give pitchers incentives to become good batters. Any pitcher who gets an extra base hit is formally allowed to fine-tune by throwing at the opposing team's mascot for the rest of the game.

* Stop those annoying stall-tactics pitchers use to give the bullpen time to warm up, like throwing over to first. Pitchers are allowed just three throws to first all game, and for each additional throw, the outfield walls covered in giant-bouncy-house material will be moved in five feet.

Posted by Tyson Wirth at 1:02 PM | Comments (0)

I Hate Mondays: Not Pocket Rockets

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If the Houston Rockets were playing a game Texas Hold 'Em Poker, they would undoubtedly have one ace, but definitely not two.

Tracy McGrady, who averaged 25.7 points per game, 6.2 rebounds per game, and 5.7 assists per game this season puts forward a value for the Rockets franchise that is beyond statistics. He includes his teammates, creates opportunities for them, and attracts the primary defensive focus of the opposition. He's the Rockets' true ace.

Yao Ming, who offered 18.3 points per game, 8.4 rebounds per game, and 2 blocks per game this season, presents no more worth outside of his numerical contributions. He doesn't attract double-teams, he's not an unstoppable force around the basket, and you wouldn't give him the ball in a critical fourth quarter possession. He's the equivalent of a 10 in a game of hold 'em.

Yao Ming is touted to perform on the same level as some other superstars in the NBA, but the reality is that he is not of that caliber. He's not Tim Duncan, he's not Shaquille O'Neal, he's not Kevin Garnett, and he shouldn't even be mentioned in the same sentence.

No team ever schemes their defensive game plan around stopping Yao simply because you don't need to. His offensive game is simple: catch the ball in the post and shoot over the defender. He doesn't have a sweeping hook shot that works effectively and he's not fast enough to beat anyone to the basket. Put a hand in his face and let him shoot.

Garnett, Duncan, and Shaq are all indefensible. Get too close to Garnett or Duncan and they will step around and walk in for a lay-up. Play too far off and they will hit a jump shot. As for Shaq, he's too strong at all times. What all this means is that their defenders need help and once that help arrives, openings are created elsewhere.

His inability to draw extensive interest on the offensive end is the main shortcomings, but there are more. He gets into foul trouble frequently with cheap fouls, either reach-ins or illegal screens, which are mistakes that are easily avoided by the intelligent players in the league. The lack of a fear factor on the offensive ends lingers on the defensive end as well as he doesn't deter opponents when they drive to the basket. You step into Shaq's lane and you hit a brick wall. Compared to that, Yao's lane is feels like a gentle application of soft hand cream. He may be 7-6, but he's easily pushed off his spot and lastly, he plays nervous.

The difficulty here is that Yao is hyped, expected, and paid like a superstar, but the facts show that he is not. Now all of the above criticisms can be put to bed if we stopped projecting him to be something he is not and accepted Yao for what he truly is: an above average center. He's much more suited for that title. Think more on the level of Brad Miller and Zydrunas Ilgauskas rather than Shaquille O'Neal.

Yao is an excellent role player in Houston and a key piece to the prospective puzzle. He's able to carry the team for a night occasionally and he can be a dependable second option on most other nights. He's not a player that you would start your franchise with and he's a player you would parlay with Dwyane Wade or Tracy McGrady to become an instant championship contender. But every legitimate competitor needs some form of an inside presence and if you put him alongside McGrady, a stronger power forward, and a distributing point guard, you've got yourself a championship candidate.

While Yao falls short of the primetime status, he's still an above average center in this league and that is how he should be classified.

Ace-Ten and Ace-Ace mix like Mondays and me.

"A bore is a man who, when you ask him how he is, tells you." — Bert Leston Taylor

Don't miss next week's installment of I Hate Mondays, sponsored by CyberSportsbook.com, a great sportsbook for horseracing and casino action!

Posted by Dave Golokhov at 1:01 PM | Comments (6)

May 7, 2005

My Afternoon As a NASCAR Fan

I didn't actually notice it until I tried to leave the parking lot after attending a Saturday afternoon wedding. Suddenly, my car felt like it was driving in wet cement. At that point, I had a natural, quite human reaction:

"Dear Jesus ... I know we don't speak as often as we should. I want to begin by saying that the movie you did with Mel Gibson — though a little violent for some tastes — was unfairly ignored during awards season. And that, also, I've been a fan of the temperature lately: not too cold, not too warm. Just right. Anyhoo, I was just wondering if there was any way you could ensure that the intense drag on my car's acceleration is simply a result of my forgetting to release the parking break and not a flat tire, which would necessitate me attempting to change the tire in the rain while wearing a suit, dress shirt, and tie. Thank you Jesus. Say hi to Grandma for me."

My eyes wandered from the dashboard to the parking brake, which was parallel to the driver's seat in the "down" position. I then noticed the right side of my car was decidedly lower than the left.

"Damnit ... I knew I should have gone to mass on Ash Wednesday."

I threw it in reverse and rolled back into the parking space. It was the first flat tire I've dealt with in about a decade — a streak that, much like the Lakers' run of consecutive playoff appearances, could only end in spectacular humility.

So as I jacked up the car and fought through my carpal tunnel to unscrew the lugnuts, the same thought kept running through my head:

Where the hell was my pit crew?

I'm not a NASCAR fan. Never have been. Growing up in Jersey, I knew guys who worked on their cars — Camaros and Mustangs, usually, with stains on the roof interior from their girlfriends' giant Garden State mallrat hair — but I didn't know anyone whose love of automobiles was a jumping-off point to professional racing fanaticism. It just wasn't part of the culture I grew up in; Jersey was closer to being a member of Fast Food Nation than NASCAR Nation.

There have been times when I've been downright disrespectful to the sport; like, for example, refusing to categorize it as a "sport" or drivers as athletes. (Save all that nonsense about "needing to be in top physical shape to drive at that speed." The only reason these guys aren't complete blobs is because they're the only people who spend the majority of their day on the road and aren't tempted by a single drive-thru window.)

I've also mocked — in no particular order — the corporate whoring of drivers and cars, those ridiculous walking-billboard jump suits, those even more ridiculous multi-colored hats that redefine the word "horrendous," Jeff Gordon on "Saturday Night Live," NASCAR dads, NASCAR flags, NASCAR fans who actually aren't watching just for the crashes, restrictor plates, Richard Petty, the Viagra car, those stupid window stickers with the little boy taking a piss on the Chevy logo, and really anything and everything regarding the over-televised tedium of professional stock car racing.

So I must now humbly report something that would, in some circles, be considered hypocritical: I watched a NASCAR race on Sunday, and was genuinely impressed ... at times, even blown away with what I saw.

I was stuck at a local tire shop for most of the afternoon (getting all four tires replaced will kill a good day of drinking, won't it?). So I settled into the customer lounge, where the small television mounted on the wall was tuned to the NASCAR event de jour: the Aaron's 499 Nextel Cup race at Talladega Superspeedway.

(An aside — what's more dehumanizing about a tire shop or auto body repair shop waiting room: the magazines from 1984, or the fact that you have to use powdered creamer to lighten the worst coffee found outside a Colombian sewer?)

FOX had the broadcast of the race. It's funny: when FOX did the NHL games, it's technology and approach to the sport diminished its appeal. It went beyond the "glow puck" fiasco; remember those stupid robots that destroyed each other after every goal? It was like some sports executive at the network decided that the only way people were watching pro ice hockey is if they get to see some bizarre hybrid of the Transformers and the Whammy from "Press Your Luck" a few times each game.

I couldn't help but think about the late, great "NHL on FOX" while watching the pre-race coverage of the Aaron's 499. One of the reasons NASCAR is so damn popular is that each race feels like a major event, and is treated as such by the fans, media, and the broadcasting partners. It's like the NFL, whose games are spread out on a weekly basis and take on an extra sense of importance because of it. You anticipate individual hockey and basketball games, or individual baseball series; but you make time for football games and NASCAR races.

FOX treats every NASCAR race like a major event. There's ample pre-race coverage, from handicapping the field to reviewing recent action to interviews that span the spectrum from vital (talking with a pit crew chief) to the delightfully frivolous (a quick series of unconnected questions and one-word answers with a driver).

Going back to the hockey comparison, I was stunned by how familiar these drivers were to me after about 30 minutes of pre-race coverage — not only their names, but their place in the standings, their chances in the race, and a little about their reputations. Watch a hockey game on broadcast television, and you're lucky if they mention who the goalies are at the top of the show. The pre-game coverage is usually about five minutes of contrived storylines the announcers half-heartedly try to sell.

The start of the race is amazing on television. (Well, after the NASCAR-endorsed blessing read over the loudspeaker. I marvel at the fact you can have a prayer before a car race in Alabama, but not before a public school football game in Virginia.) As the gentlemen prepare to start their engines, the screen literally splits into 20 or so small squares. We see each driver — well, at least the ones contending — rev up his car and get ready to race. It's an incredible sports television moment, bringing the anticipation to a boil before the race explodes onto the track.

It's everything a face-off should be in hockey.

Seriously ... why is it that the old "Blades of Steel" game for Nintendo was able to give us a better camera angle of the face off than ESPN can? I want a split-screen shot of every scarred-up face on the ice watching the ref's hand as he prepares to drop the puck.

The race itself is brilliantly conveyed. NASCAR is nearly perfect for television, now that they've gotten the technology figured out. You know where all the cars are, and how many laps they have to go. You have reporters assigned to follow certain drivers, or report in certain pits. Every angle is covered.

The camera work is stellar. You feel the speed, you feel the danger, because you are literally in the driver's seat of these cars, or staring out the back window, or planted in the grass near the turn. The director of these races must be a mollusk of some sort, because humans don't have enough arms to control all of these angles at the same time.

Again, I come back to hockey — there's nothing in a NHL broadcast on American television (outside of that camera in the back of the goal) that gives the viewer a perspective unique to television. In other words, why should people get jazzed to watch hockey on TV when it's just a more placid version of what we see in the arena? NASCAR and football are better on television than they are live; and have you checked the ratings of NASCAR and football lately?

Finally, a few words about the NASCAR announcers, and indirectly, the Republican Party.

NASCAR announcers sound like NASCAR fans. You're not going to find a sharp Brooklyn accent, or a Bostonian accent. And you sure as hell aren't going to find some dude from Saskatoon who sounds like he just crossed the border for the first time.

I've said for years that one of the NHL's biggest obstacles in selling the game to an American television audience to getting past its xenophobia. Having ESPN's Bill Clement and Darren Pang and John Davidson sounding like Bob and Doug McKenzie is not going to get some guy in Oklahoma to watch hockey. But having Darrell Waltrip crowing "Boogity, Boogity, Boogity" might keep him watching NASCAR.

It's like that old cliché about Republicans relating more to Southerners because they "speak their language." It's also the reason the Democrats picked Clinton and John Edwards to run nationally — because no matter how much the rhetoric is geared towards Blue-collar, middle-class Americans, the majority of them will tune it out if the messenger doesn't sound like they do. (See Kerry, John.) Forget wider nets and blue ice — the first thing the NHL should do when it gets back is hire Larry the Cable Guy for its studio show.

As entertaining as it was, I didn't see the end of the Aaron's 499 Nextel Cup race. I understand Jeff Gordon won, although I have no idea what that means in the grand scheme of the NASCAR season ... other than the fact that there'll be a few more cars that have window stickers with the little boy taking a piss on his car number, I suppose...

"Boogity, Boogity, Boogity!"

Radio is a Sound Salvation

Thanks to the five or six of you who sent in your radio memories in accordance with last week's column. Here's Peter Mueller with a nice memory about New York sports on the radio:

It was either 11/16/72 or the 17th. The Knicks were playing Milwaukee, who then had Kareem Abdul-Jabbar. Willis Reed was still out injured; Jerry Lucas played center most of the time. Knicks are down by 18 points, 86-68, with 5:50 left. No three-point baskets in '72. The Knicks go on a run, score 19 consecutive points, and win 87-86. Either Kareem or Lucious Allen missed at the buzzer. Marv Albert on the radio call: "And that's it. The New York Knicks have stolen a ballgame. And they are a happy group." That's back when basketball was a team sport.

It really is a shame that after all of the back-biting pervert crap came out about Marv Albert, his legacy has been diminished. But for my money, he's the best — and most influential — play-by-play man in the business.

As always: love, hate, or indifference mail to [email protected].

Random Thoughts

So Jeff Van Gundy comes out and says that the officials are targeting Yao Ming this postseason, refuses to tell the league which official told him this, and gets slapped with a $100,000 fine and possible further action by NBA commissioner David Stern.

I haven't seen Stern this upset since they told him he'd have to pronounce "Zydrunas Ilgauskas" at the '96 draft...

You know, I really do wish only the best for Van Gundy. In fact, I hope he wins a championship one day ... just so he can get a ring, leap onto the nearest rock, and start petting it while hissing "myyyyy preciousssssssss..."

After wasting the time of both local police and the general public, "Runaway Bride" Jennifer Wilbanks may have to reimburse the city of Duluth, Georgia for money spent searching for her.

The bad news continues: after making up a story to police in New Mexico about being kidnapped, Wilbanks will no longer be considered as a head coach for Notre Dame football...

In case you good folks weren't aware of it, I've been reviewing every episode of NBC's boxing opus "The Contender" this season. You can find the complete archive of the reviews here. I'm beginning to feel like Joel and the robots on "Mystery Science Theater 3000," only instead of Roger Corman films, I'm forced to watch Stallone pretending to be Rocky and Sugar Ray Leonard giving some of the worst line readings this side of a Star Wars prequel...

I'm not positive, but I'm pretty sure Jean-Sebastian Giguere pumped my gas for me the other day...

This "American Idol" Paula Abdul/Corey Clark relationship seems to be a pretty big deal.

I actually think it's a little scary. Can you imagine what a simultaneous orgasm would sound like between those two tone-deaf no-talents?

Probably like Scott Savol, come to think of it...

Finally, the fantastically funny "Chappelle's Show" has halted production for undisclosed reasons.

And whatever those reasons are, I'm sure in the end it'll all be whitey's fault...

Greg Wyshynski is also a weekly columnist for SportsFan Magazine. His columns appear every Saturday on Sports Central. You can e-mail Greg at [email protected].

Posted by Greg Wyshynski at 10:34 PM | Comments (1)

May 6, 2005

Top-10 Storylines We Wish Would Go Away

With NFL Kickoff 2005 more than four months away and the recent conclusion of the league's draft, we "armchair quarterbacks" find ourselves at an information impasse, so to speak.

It is a bit too early to begin the nauseatingly-extensive-yet-unexplainably-addictive process of prepping for the upcoming fantasy football draft (or "drafts" in my case ... and yes, I do have a life) and, with NFL rosters in various degrees of flux right now, it is nearly impossible to start projecting possible playoff scenarios, division winners, and the like.

That being said, it is never too early to start my complaints about the sure-to-be prevalent Chris Berman-esque rants from the league's talking heads and assorted mouthpieces. So with no further ado, I give you the 10 most likely overplayed storylines of the 2005 NFL season.

10. "Terrell Owens is not worth the trouble he brings to a team."

Um, wrong. There really isn't any other way to put it. Yes, the man needs an attitude adjustment as badly as his coach needs liposuction, but this has zero effect on T.O.'s impetus for the game at which he excels. Owens is a stud receiver, the once-in-a-decade type of player that redefines his position and a vicious competitor that wants to be larger than the game. While this is an exceedingly unpopular mantra for T.O. to live by, he produces undeniable results and no team in the league with cap space and a healthy ambition to succeed would turn down his services.

My advice to the Eagles would be to swallow their pride and give No. 81 what he wants ... he, like few others, is actually worth it. His off-the-field antics are a distraction, to be sure, but that distraction does not outweigh his benefits on the field at game time and that is how worth is ultimately measured in the NFL.

9. "Michael Vick is incredibly athletic and could revolutionize the quarterback position."

If you don't already know this, you needn't be watching football. Give us a story about how Vick's mastering of the West Coast Offense will eventually lead him and his team to a championship ... don't bore us with a regurgitation of the obvious.

8. "The Minnesota Vikings have unearthed a gem in rookie wide receiver Troy Williamson."

Troy Williamson is no Randy Moss. Troy Williamson is a taller, more muscular version of James Jett. That, ladies and gentlemen, is not very good. I had the benefit of watching a half-dozen of the Gamecocks' games this past college football season and his shortcomings are obvious. For whatever straight-line speed he has, he lacks skill in route-running, has terrible instincts and, most importantly, his hands are inconsistent, at best.

For all the talk that Williamson was stuck in an unflattering offensive system, there is one interesting stat that hasn't been discussed — in 2003, the Gamecocks passed the ball 44% of the time and in 2004, running nearly an identical number of plays, they passed 38% of the time.

Now I ask this, if you had one of the best receivers in the nation, which many have billed Troy as, wouldn't you trend your offense toward said strength? This coaching staff knows Troy Williamson well and, for whatever reason, chose not to run their offense through him. My first inclination would be to urge the Vikes to follow suit. My second would be tell Chris Mortenson to let Kiper do the talking.

7. "Mike Shanahan is (still) a coaching genius."

Every single year, we are forced to listen to every mainstream sporting publication and television show wax poetic on Shanahan's coaching prowess. Every single year, we witness the non-[John] Elway-led Broncos get exposed by the league's elite. This is not to say Shanahan is a bad coach or general manager, he clearly is not; but the fact is he has not made a lead-pipe, surefire, top-of-the-line move as a GM in a good while and his teams have regularly shown deficiencies in heart, decision-making and, frankly, general happiness. This makes Mike very average and just once, I'd like to hear someone admit that. Imagine, Tom Jackson uttering the oh-so-true phrase, "Coaches don't win you championships, John Elway wins you championships." Fat chance.

6. "Mike Martz is (still) an offensive coaching guru."

Sigh ... much like storyline number seven, it blackens my heart having to endure even one week of this talk (since generally, by Week 2, Martz has made some sort of bonehead move which brings into question his obvious lack of common sense as a head coach). We all know that Martz invented the "Greatest Show on Turf," but his job duties no longer include coordinating the offense.

Pointing out that Martz is an offensive coaching genius is like saying Michael Jordan is good at basketball — it is very true, but has little bearing on the man's current job qualifications and really doesn't need to be vocalized.

5. "Instant replay is an imperfect science and should be eliminated or overhauled drastically."

Hello? Captain Obvious? This is reality calling. Of course, instant replay is imperfect. It is a highly subjective system — all it really does it slow down the action so that said subjectivity can be applied within a more "normalized" window as opposed to the "bang-bang" nature of live action. This does not mean replay is a failure. It is what it is and, by and large, has worked as designed lessening the pressure on officials to make the close calls without drastically altering the flow of the game.

If we want a "perfect" system, we should develop electronic eyes to mark the first down lines, sidelines, and end zones, kind of like tennis. And, while we're at it, why don't we start calling field goals "aces," penalties "faults," and instead of saying a team as zero points, we should say they have "luv."

4. "The Indianapolis Colts are poised to win a championship."

This should really be number one on my list, but to appease the sure-to-protest Manning fans out there, I dropped them a few spots. Let's make this perfectly clear, you do not win championships with offense. Period. What's that you say? The '99 Rams did it? That is one of the most popular misconceptions out there — the 1999 Rams ranked seventh in overall defense and had the top-ranked rushing defense in the league.

As good as Peyton Manning is — and he is very, very good — he cannot win a title without a solid defense to play opposite him. This Colts team is as exciting to watch as any, but until they commit serious dollars to their defense, they will never be anything more than playoff fodder. I'm not sure what endears the pundits to these high-flying teams with sieve-like defenses — the Chiefs, the post-'99 Rams, the Colts — quite baffling, really.

3. "The game today features several future Hall of Famers."

This gem has been a staple of any Dan Dierdorf broadcast since the early 1990s. According to Mr. Dierdorf, 88% of the league has, at one time or another, been a potential Hall of Fame candidate (somebody please tell Dierdorf that Dante Hall is not Canton material). There is no doubt that Dierdorf will dub a series of overachievers as impromptu Hall of Famers at some point, the only question is who will top his list this season.

2. "The quarterback controversy in enter name here is not good for this team."

Year in and year out, this is one of the most overblown stories you hear about. Every year, you hear of at least one — and more likely five or six — full-blown quarterback controversies. Like clockwork, the Ron Jaworski's of the world chime in on how horrific this situation is for a team's unity and direction.

The reality is that the quarterback controversy itself isn't bad for the team. What is bad for the team is the fact that the team involved does not have a surefire No. 1 quality guy. You think San Fran was negatively effected by having Steve Young barking for playing time while Montana ran the ship? You saw how Ben Roethlisberger and Tommy Maddox tore up the Steelers' continuity last year, right? Yes, "[Jay] Fiedler versus [A.J.] Feeley" did not help the Dolphin cause last season, but I'm not too sure it was the "versus" in that line that caused the problem.

1. "In what could be a preview of Super Bowl XL/the AFC Championship Game/the NFC Championship Game..."

I have no particular distaste for the phrase per se, but rather for the frequency with which it is used throughout the season. If we've learned nothing else over the past 10 years of parity-stricken football in the NFL, we certainly have learned that a team starting a season 4-0 does not a champion make.

The over/under for Chris Berman actually using this sentence is five weeks, but smart money says those words are bandied about prior to the week two preseason matchup between the Jets and Vikings. As much as I'd love to be able to divine the future, your guess is as good as mine, and Berman (though I'm sure he'd argue with you) is no swami, either. That said, this particular phrase should be expunged from the sports lexicon forever.

There you have it. While this only scratches the surface of the "dullard-speak" the masters-of-the-obvious we call sports journalists will utter throughout the upcoming season, it certainly is food for thought. There will be other stories, to be sure, but these 10 are surefire lead stories on any one of our favorite Sunday morning preview shows. As with death and taxes, this, too, is a dreaded sure thing. Don't say I didn't warn you.

Posted by Matt Thomas at 1:00 PM | Comments (8)

It's Like Riding a Bike

Fans around the NFL have been wondering about the play of Kellen Winslow, Jr. ever since he broke his leg in the second game of last season against the Dallas Cowboys.

Everyone has been wondering if, after two surgeries and rehabilitation, Winslow would have the same production as he did in his college days.

With little professional experience, and a horde of public relation problems stemming from his contract negotiations, anticipation was high this year for Kellen Winslow, Jr.

Would playing NFL football be like getting back on a bike for him?

Well, we may never find out, specifically because Senor Winslow got on the wrong kind of bike.

While test driving his new motorcycle in the parking lot of a Cleveland area community college, Winslow lost control of his vehicle, flipped over the handlebars, and plowed over a small tree.

Surely, Romeo Crennel and Cleveland fans hoped he would be plowing over defensive secondaries this year, not flattening defenseless shrubs.

Winslow suffered multiple ailments in his Jackass imitation, including damage to his surgically repaired right knee, a bruised shoulder, and other unspecified internal injuries.

Because there is allegedly special language in Winslow's contract that forbids him from engaging in any "dangerous" activities, and specifically riding motorcycles, the Browns may be able to recoup some of Winslow's signing bonus and salary for this season.

While it is nice that the Browns may be able to save a couple of a million dollars if Winslow is unable to play some games this season, the fact that he won't be on the field as an option for new quarterback Trent Dilfer might be a bigger setback than the money.

After dumping a host of Butch Davis' special draft picks, Crennel has been retooling the Browns' roster and filling needs that were desperately ignored for the last couple years. Trent Dilfer was signed at quarterback, Braylon Edwards was drafted in the first round, Ruben Droughns was acquired from Denver, and the offensive line was beefed up to prevent Dilfer from suffering the same fate as the oft-sacked Tim Couch.

A vital piece of this puzzle was to be Kellen Winslow starting at tight end.

Well, that was until Winslow decided to do some doughnuts on his new motorcycle.

While someone somewhere may have already set the odds for when the first Edwards/Winslow fist fight would be in minicamp, the two represented viable options for Dilfer. As a pair they would have drawn the ire and attention of opposing defenses, setting up the running game , and taking advantage of less athletic secondaries around the league.

This is by no means to say they would have been Pro-Bowlers and led the Browns to a winning season, but they would have been a large piece of the puzzle.

Woody Paige of ESPN commenting on Around the Horn on Tuesday said that it is unrealistic for teams to expect athletes to forego their personal lives and remain indoors every moment they are not on the field.

Unfortunately, I think it is a tad unreasonable for athletes that are given a small fortune from NFL teams to not follow the terms of their contract, especially when it specifically forbids the use of motorcycles. They owe it to themselves and their team to be ready and healthy to contribute when the season (or minicamp for that matter) starts.

Woody Paige also made a comment that insinuated since only 9% of traffic accidents involve motorcycles, the logical next step for teams would be for them to forbid players from driving cars.

While I must respect Mr. Paige because he is a paid employee of ESPN and because of that automatically makes more sense than I do, I wonder what kind of logic he was using when making that statement.

Sure, I believe that only 9% of accidents may involve motorcycles, but that vast majority of vehicles are cars, not motorcycles. Furthermore, motorcycles do not have airbags, seatbelts, roll cages, reinforced doors; nor do they weigh a couple tons and insulate passengers from the impact of other vehicles/objects.

I give some credit to Winslow because he was wearing a helmet, but I can only give him some credit because officers report that the helmet was not fastened while Winslow was driving.

However, a helmet is not going to protect his leg, his abdomen, or his shoulder. Getting into an accident on a motorcycle is intrinsically more likely to cause injury that getting into an accident in a car. You are not protected against anything.

I have nothing against motorcycles personally, nor do I believe them to be inherently dangerous, but I do think it is reasonable for teams to prohibit their highly-paid athletes from riding them, simply because the risk for career-threatening injuries is greater.

Athletes have the opportunity to make all the money in the world, and while they are on the payroll, and while their services are needed on the field, they should do everything in their power to avoid situations that raise the risk of injury.

They at least have the obligation to follow the terms of their contracts.

They have the rest of their lives to play with their toys.

Romeo Crennel came from a New England organization that was built on the idea of the team, of responsibility, and of clean, hard-nosed football. You have to wonder if the off-field antics of Winslow may cause his stay in Cleveland to be shortened, even if he does return to form from his current injuries.

Posted by Vince Grzegorek at 12:39 PM | Comments (0)

The Slant Pattern World Golf Top 10

The old saw says second place is the first loser, but in golf, it's actually the last loser. Are there any losers in professional golf, anyway? Since it's a game where you play your own ball and you opponents never have any direct impact on your result (except perhaps psychologically), the only way to measure whether you're a winner or a loser is not against the field, but against par.

I bring all of this up because I've been noticing another slew of articles complaining about the format of the Official World Golf Ranking, noting that Chris DiMarco is seventh on it even though he hasn't won an event in two years.

The reason he's so high is because he has finished second three times this year, including two events, the Masters and the World Match Play Championship, that included pretty much all of the world's top 50. Let's look at his runner-up finish in the match play, as that's the golf format that comes closest to determining winners and losers against each other. It's ironic that he beat five guys, one by one, to get to the finals. None of the others world's greatest did that except his finals opponent, David Toms. Yet he didn't beat Toms, so he doesn't deserve to be so high.

Then he loses the Masters in a playoff to Tiger Woods. He lipped out a pitch shot on 18 in regulation that would've won it. If that's a centimeter more centered, it goes in and DiMarco wins the Masters. It didn't, so that centimeter means he's undeserving of his No. 7 rank in the world? Give me a break.

Slant Pattern World Golf Top 10

This is something I've done a couple times before. I use no formulas or statistics, it's nothing more than a basic reading of who I think the ten best golfers in the world are, one though ten.

1. Tiger Woods

Remember how we were all babbling about how he hasn't won a major in forever and hasn't won a stroke play event in forever and ... seems like a hundred years ago instead of just last year.

2. Phil Mickelson

Last year, I was down on Phil since he seemed to only kick it up for majors and sort of went on cruise control after winning the Masters. I hereby rescind that accusation. His run of wins the first two months of the year was more than impressive, it was dominant. Good to see he's playing every tournament like a major now.

3. Vijay Singh

I've mellowed on Vijay after declaring him Public Enemy Number One last year, and even making fun of his mole. That won't get me the Pulitzer. He's every bit as good as last year, but Phil and Tiger have caught him.

4. Ernie Els

Has been quiet on this side of the Atlantic this year, but already has three wins on the European Tour in 2005, including a 13-stroke victory at the BMW Asian Open last week. Says he's turned the corner on his website.

5. Retief Goosen

People talk about the "Big 4" above, but the "Big 5" seems more appropriate to me. Multiple majors, multiple wins on multiple tours every year, what more do you want?

6. Adam Scott

Like Ernie, he's recently victorious, taking home the Johnny Walker Classic hardware that I trumpeted in the last edition of Slant Pattern. He's young, he wins big events with big fields, he's hot ... and I will be surprised if he isn't number one on everyone's list at some point in the next 10 years.

7. Chris DiMarco

See above. I will say this: the way he three-putted from the pinside fringe for a bogey six to finish one shot out of a playoff last week in New Orleans was indeed quite a choke job.

8. David Toms

The list starts getting thin here, but Toms might have the best approach game on the PGA tour.

9. Padraig Harrington

Another guy who feels DiMarco's pain, with a list of runner-up finishes as long as his arm. Already a legend in Europe, he just won his first PGA tour event in March.

10. Darren Clarke

A rare European who seems to play better in America than in Europe.

Posted by Kevin Beane at 12:09 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

May 4, 2005

Cleveland Browns Face Three and Out

In an NFL where analysts are quicker to toss around the word "parity" than Drew Rosenhaus' clients are to hold out, virtually any coach and ownership can pluck its team from the previous season's mire and heave it into the national spotlight.

For example, take the San Diego Chargers, who climbed from a pitiful 4-12 in 2003 to an astonishing 12-4 just one year later. Or the Pittsburgh Steelers, who morphed a mediocre 6-10 in 2003 to a league-best 15-1 in 2004. Even the Cincinnati Bengals have the SportsCenter clone army adlibbing.

Still, season-by-season, one team has proven the current recipe for NFL success is flawed — mix two or three "rebuilding" years with a handful of high draft picks, stir in a proven veteran at a skill position, fire the coaching staff, and serve. The club that is the closest to the Pro Football Hall of Fame moves further and further away.

Tough luck for a coach like Romeo Crennel, who could land in Canton one day, if given the right opportunity. Instead, Crennel is the new CEO of (formerly) Butch Davis, Inc., the worst team in football — the Cleveland Browns.

Browns fans, hear me out. You've got one of the most storied franchises in football, but it's time to fess up. Ownership and coaching decisions have devastated your roster. Since the 1999 restoration, your record is 30-66. Through no fault of your own, the Cleveland Browns have won only 14 home games in the past six seasons.

So don't get mad at me when I tell you — Romeo Crennel, regardless of his vast tactical genius, can't help you. At least, not any time soon.

Even if Trent Dilfer makes you forget about the Baltimore betrayal and Braylon Edwards shuts up just long enough to play, 2005 is already a dead year. The worst team in football faces its greatest challenge of this millennium — competing in the NFL's new toughest division.

Until 2003, playing in the AFC North and its annual flip-flop of mediocrity was a luxury for the Cleveland Browns. The Bengals or the Steelers or the Ravens were bound to challenge for the bottom of the barrel. When the new divisions were demarcated following the 2001 season, the Browns were counting themselves among the blessed.

Indeed, when Cleveland "made the playoffs" in 2002, it was thanks to the Bengals (2-14), the Ravens (7-9), and three other AFC clubs who matched the Browns' shabby 9-7, but lost out on the tie-break.

Now Cleveland is trying to improve from 4-12 in a division in which 10-6 would be a disappointment for every other team.

The Steelers know they won't repeat 15-1, but harbor high expectations for Roethlisberger's continued emergence. With Jamal Lewis, Todd Heap, and Ray Ray starting 16 games, the Ravens will do better than 9-7. The Bengals continue to receive praise from the media for their improvement and are every other analyst's dark horse to strike the 2005 playoffs.

Meanwhile, the Browns await a hideous schedule in 2005. Outside of their division, Cleveland will play opponents from the AFC South and NFC North, including Indianapolis, Green Bay, and Minnesota. With the Bears, Lions, and Texans all improving, Crennel's first winnable game might not be until Nov. 6, when his squad faces the Tennessee Titans in Cleveland Browns Stadium.

Bad news for a franchise that expects to win sooner rather than later.

Punt or Bomb?

In light of the predicament outlined above, Crennel's best option for success is to change the expectations of Cleveland's ownership and fans to "lose-now, win-later."

Though this plan has been hindered somewhat by the designs of new GM Phil Savage (see Edwards, Braylon), Crennel seems to be doing his best to cleanse the depth chart of all vestiges of Butch Davis. Getting past failures Courtney Brown and Gerrard Warren out of town was a good move.

However, the acquisition of Denver runner Reuben Droughns — an alleged "character" guy — has proven a huge headache. Droughns, under the hex of newly-inked agent Drew Rosenhaus (mentioned above), is demanding a new contract and quickly untangling himself from the good graces of coaches and ownership.

Also, running back William Green, perhaps Butch Davis' most personal bust (since he passed on former U player Clinton Portis to draft Green), remains on the roster, largely thanks to Droughns' very public whining. Many analysts expected that the Droughns trade would spell the end of Green's tenure as a Brown, but that scenario is no longer guaranteed.

Furthermore, Crennel faces an additional cancer: a guy who is possibly the most obnoxious player in the league — besides two receivers who wore green and white in Super Bowl XXXIX — appropriately-labeled "tight end" Kellen Winslow.

K2, who bragged about his contract before breaking his leg in 2004 and forfeiting much of his "guaranteed" bonus money, has made headlines again. According to ESPN.com, on Saturday, Winslow dumped a 2005 Suzuki GSX-R750 motorcycle in a community college parking lot and suffered undisclosed injuries.

Winslow, who was wearing a helmet he apparently forgot to buckle, landed hard enough to uproot a small tree. However, the pain of the crash will seem like a pinprick when Winslow realizes, as ProFootballTalk.com's Mike Florio reports, that the Browns could recoup $9.4 million in bonuses paid under Winslow's current contract, which includes language to guard the team against non-football injuries suffered by the player.

Accordingly, it seems in Crennel's best interest to rescind Winslow's bonuses and let the situation detonate. Given Winslow's past actions, particularly his fondness for hanging dirty laundry in the eye of the media, it wouldn't be long before K2 wrecked the bike.

And Cleveland fans should celebrate when it happens, even if it means watching the Browns stink for two or three seasons. After all, they're already accustomed to it.

Only in Your Fantasies...

If you're planning on drafting rookie receiver Braylon Edwards and playing him this season, think again.

In 2000, when he led the Baltimore Ravens to a Super Bowl win, Trent Dilfer produced terrible fantasy numbers, and his receivers fared no better. Qadry Ismail led the team with 49 catches for 655 yards and 5 touchdowns.

Moreover, new Browns offensive coordinator Maurice Carthon, who spent the last two seasons in Dallas, has produced only one 1,000-yard receiver in his career, Detroit's Johnnie Morton (77/1154/4) in 2001.

Posted by Jason Kendall at 3:34 PM | Comments (35)

NASCAR Top 10 Power Rankings: Week 9

Note: The quotes in this article are fictional.

1. Jimmie Johnson — Johnson was right in the middle of two major incidents at Talladega on Sunday: the "Big One" on lap 132, and the "Little One" less than two laps from the finish. The last incident, in which Johnson seemed to be at fault, cost the Lowe's No. 48 Chevrolet a certain top-five finish. In the end, Johnson limped home in 20th, and watched his Cup points lead shrink to 130 points. Is Johnson trouble magnet, or are the incidents just a function of hard racing?

"Trouble magnet? Trouble magnet?" asks Johnson. "If anything, I'm a chick magnet. Neither of those accidents were my fault. I blame them on Tony Stewart. What's that? Tony was involved in neither? Sorry, I'm so used to blaming Tony that I figured I'd try it again. Okay, so Tony didn't do it. Okay, then it was Colonel Mustard in the billiard room with the candlestick. Or maybe it was Darrell Waltrip in the Hollywood Hotel with a gas catch can."

Next on the agenda for Johnson is Darlington, where he'll attempt to restart a new top-10 streak after two straight finishes 15th or lower. Johnson's two closest rivals, Kurt Busch and Jeff Gordon, have victories in the last two weeks, which has caused JJ's points lead to dwindle. A win at Darlington, where Johnson swept both races last year, would stop the bleeding.

"And just a little word to the wise for Dale, Jr." adds Johnson. "The next time you want to call me an idiot, do it to my face. If you want to bang heads or bump sheet metal, you know where to find me: somewhere in front of you."

2. Jeff Gordon — Gordon won his second consecutive Aaron's 499, and second straight restrictor plate race, with a dominating drive from start to finish. As he did at Daytona, Gordon had to go overtime for the win due to a late race caution, and he held off Tony Stewart and Michael Waltrip in the dash to the finish. Gordon led 139 of 194 laps, earning his 72nd career victory and third win this year, leaving him four shy of Dale Earnhardt's total of 76. Gordon also collected seven of the 11 contingency awards. The four-time Cup champion has now won four of the last five restrictor plate races.

"Yes, but more importantly," says Gordon, "we're one for one with my donkey-eared friend Yoda on the hood of the No. 24. You know, for a 900-year-old Jedi Master, that Yoda is one hip cat. I think the late comedian John Belushi said it best in Animal House when he chanted, 'Yoda, Yoda, Yoda, Yoda.'"

With the victory and lap leader bonus points, Gordon moved past Greg Biffle to number three in the points, 151 behind Johnson. With two restrictor plate race victories this year, plus a short-track win at Martinsville, Gordon will look for number four on the 1.366 mile oval at Darlington, where he has six career wins.

3. Kurt Busch — Busch was the highest finisher of three Roush Racing cars in the top 13, with a seventh-place result after a solid 10th-place qualifying effort. Busch's Ford had the power to hang with the frontrunners, but seemed to lack the strength to mount a legitimate challenge for the lead.

"I can't say for sure whether I've got a complete grasp of the restrictor plate concept," explains Busch. "To be honest, when I hear the words 'restrictor plate,' the first thing that comes to mind is the diet that Jimmy Spencer should be on."

Busch should find Darlington more to his liking. In the last three races there, he's recorded a second place finish and two sixths, and he qualified in the top six all three of those times, with one pole.

"As a native of Las Vegas," adds Busch, "I'm like a fish out of water in Darlington, or anywhere in the Deep South, for that matter. But when you put me in a car, I feel my neck redden, and I get the sudden urge to wear a sleeveless flannel shirt. Only then do I feel like a true Southerner. Yee haw!"

4. Greg Biffle — Biffle finished a quiet 13th at Talladega, and actually led two laps. After qualifying 29th, Biffle should be happy coming home in 13th. Not a bad day's work, but not spectacular by any fashion.

"I'll tell you what is spectacular," explains Biffle. "And that is seeing two Star Wars Storm Troopers hamming it up for the camera before the race. I've always thought of those guys as being pretty serious. It's good to see them loosen up. I bet not having that heavy-breathing Darth Vader around puts them at ease. And it was cool to see Adam Sandler as Grand Marshall. I can't wait to see The Longest Yard with Sandler quarterbacking the inmates. That's a natural progression for an actor to go from playing a semi-retarded linebacker in The Waterboy to playing the Burt Reynolds part in the remake of The Longest Yard."

Biffle dropped one spot in the Cup standings to fourth, passed by race winner Jeff Gordon. Biffle has been solid in his brief Cup career at Darlington, with two 12th place finishes and a tenth. He also won the spring Busch race there last year. A top-10 this year is more than likely.

5. Elliott Sadler — Sadler led a strong Talladega program for the Robert Yates Racing contingent, as the M&M's Ford crossed the line in sixth, three spots ahead of teammate Dale Jarrett. Sadler maintained his fifth-place spot in the Nextel Cup standings, but moved 47 points closer to points leader Jimmie Johnson.

"I've just got one thing to say about my car at Talladega," says Sadler. "It sucked ... sucked up in the draft, that is. The fellas in the engine and fabrication shop really got the job done for me this week. I feel like we had the car to challenge there at the end, but we just chose the wrong line of cars to run with. It's like when you go to the grocery store and get in line to check out, and you later find out you're in the line with the lady paying in pennies who's redeeming about 40 coupons. To top it all off, she's got a mustache. Just like at the track, I should have taken the express lane."

Sadler has been strong in the spring race at Darlington the past three years, with three top-10s and a start from the pole. I foresee a qualifying run in the top-15 and a top-10 finish.

6. Tony Stewart — Stewart may have had the second most impressive drive of the day, behind that of Jeff Gordon. Stewart chased Gordon to the finish, with some bump draft help from Michael Waltrip, but couldn't overtake the Hendrick Chevy, which was easily the class of the field. Nevertheless, Stewart vaulted eight positions in the points, and now resides at number six, 280 points from his best pal/worst enemy (depending on the race), Jimmie Johnson.

Stewart's best move of the day came with his car not doing 190 miles per hour, but sitting at a complete standstill on the Talladega apron. When the "Big One" hit on lap 132, Stewart dove low and eventually came to a complete stop, while mangled cars flew past in front and behind him.

"Man, it looked like the blind man's demolition derby on the Autobahn out there," says Stewart. "I'm used to being right in the middle of that kind of action, so it was a little strange for me to get out of that unscathed. I must be equally as good at avoiding wrecks as I am at causing them."

Stewart's second-place finish was the remedy to three consecutive finishes out of the top 25, following his third-place at Bristol. Stewart has yet to string together consecutive top-10's this year. Is he due for a strong finish, or is it time for another run-in with Jimmie Johnson?

7. Kevin Harvick — Ten laps in to the race at Talladega, Harvick saw his track position change an incredible 42 places. Unfortunately, Harvick started on the pole, and an overheating problem left the Richard Childress Racing Chevrolet at the rear of the pack very early in the race. Ever the optimist, Harvick took his plight in stride.

"No big deal," says Harvick. "It worked in Bristol, when I came from the rear of the field to win the Food City 500. There's always plenty of time to make up ground at Talladega. I didn't think of it as being in last place. I kept telling myself, 'Okay, you're the 43rd car in a 43-car draft.' I knew we had the car to get to the front."

Harvick powered his way back to the front, and passed Gordon on lap 70 for the lead. After green flag pitting, Harvick regained the lead on lap 75, then, inexplicably, began to fall back. He was far enough back when the "Big One" hit on lap 132. Harvick was able to dive low, eventually coming to a complete stop, and avoiding any damage.

"We avoided one and got caught in another," says Harvick. "It seemed to me, that in both wrecks, Dale Earnhardt and Jimmie Johnson were involved somehow. It just goes to show that, any time you mix Lowe's Home Improvement with Budweiser, as many Americans do every weekend when they customize their trailers, you get disastrous results."

In eight career Cup races at Darlington, Harvick has four top-10s. Harvick put the No. 29 Richard Childress Chevrolet on pole last week in Talladega. This week, he hopes to visit victory lane.

8. Dale Earnhardt, Jr. — You can call it official now. Dale Earnhardt, Inc.'s reign as king of the restrictor plate race is over. Hendrick Motorsports can now claim that title, but Dale, Jr. and Michael Waltrip were in contention all day at Talladega. Waltrip finished third, and Junior would have finished in the top five had he not been collected in the four-car incident nearly two laps from the end. The final result was a 15th-place result for the No. 8 Budweiser car.

"Okay, maybe we're not the kings of the restrictor plate race any more," admits Junior, "but Budweiser is still the king of beers. The last I checked, Dupont didn't make any product you can drink, not do they manufacture a product whose empty container you could hurl onto the track in the direction of your least favorite driver. Despite our troubles, it's still good to be 'E.'"

Yes it is, Junior. You still moved up three spots in the Cup standings to number nine, so life is good. After qualifying at Talladega, things didn't look so hot for DEI. Junior qualified 36th, while Waltrip started two spots behind in 38th. 36 and 38 are pretty good scores on the front nine at Pebble Beach, but not good for DEI cars qualifying on a super speedway. What happened?

"I don't think we necessarily lost anything," explains Junior. "I think a lot of the teams just found out what we were doing and did it better. I think we have a mole amongst us. I foresee some lie detector tests, some brutal interrogations, and a few firings. That's life at the DEI compound."

Junior seems to be inching closer to a more competitive car, but work still remains. Qualifying is an issue; Earnhardt has four qualifying efforts 34th or worse, and has not started in the top-10 since Daytona. Speed starts in qualifying — if DEI can solve their qualifying set-up problems, the race trim issue should fall into place.

9. Jamie McMurray — McMurray claimed his third top-five of the year, and may have had the best view of the "Big One" when it struck on lap 132.

"Yeah, from my rear view mirror," says McMurray. "Thank goodness I was up front when it happened. The funny thing is, it happens every year, and every one knows it will happen. I'm just wondering, is it staged? I think there's a "Big One Conspiracy," and somebody's paying somebody to cause a wreck. We all know the fans watch Talladega for the wrecks. Something's up, I'm sure of it. It's a vast, right wing conspiracy, with dark, political undertones. I just know it."

Yeah, Jamie, just like every thing else happening in our country these days.

But seriously, McMurray possibly gave his best drive of the year. His best work of the day came between laps 72 and 132, when McMurray fought his way from 33rd to third, placing him in perfect position to miss the massive pileup. McMurray's fifth-place result vaulted him from 15th to 10th in the points race, 301 points below Johnson.

McMurray also is still alive in the FOX Sports' "NASCAR's Sexiest Driver" competition, in which he defeated Kurt Busch to reach the Elite Eight. McMurray was a near unanimous winner in voting over Busch, garnering 99.9999999% of the votes. Officials at FOX are investigating claims that Busch's only votes came from immediate family members. The rules firmly state that relatives are ineligible to vote.

In four previous races in Darlington, McMurray has two fourth-place finishes. He'll need more results like that to guarantee his place in the Chase. Darlington would be a great place to do it; the race there is named the Dodge Charger 500. The No. 42 Havoline car is a Dodge Charger.

10. Dale Jarrett — Jarrett rolled for 194 laps, avoided major accidents, crossed the line in ninth, and didn't even have one single person give him the finger. Jarrett joined teammate Elliott Sadler in the top 10, and continued his success this year at restrictor plate races. He won the pole at Daytona and finished fifteenth there.

"Back to the finger thing," comments Jarrett. "During and after that big wreck, I'm sure there were a lot of fingers flying between drivers. Luckily for them, the impact of the crash probably took their video feed out, so there's no visual proof of the finger being flown. So, as far as NASCAR is concerned, there were no finger infractions."

I guess Jarrett has assumed the position of unofficial finger ambassador to NASCAR, with Shane Hmiel serving as his understudy.

In his last six races at Darlington, Jarrett has finished out of the top 30 four times. Not a good sign, but Jarrett has finished no worse than 23rd this year (twice). In each of those instances, he followed those races with top-10s.

Posted by Jeffrey Boswell at 12:36 PM | Comments (5)

May 3, 2005

NBA Playoffs: Farewells and New Stars

It's moneyball time in the Association. The series' lag on slower than Gheorges Muresan, except the ones featuring the "hot" clubs (Suns and Heat). There are faces notable by their absence (LeBron James, Kobe Bryant), and revived teams distinguished by their presence after a postseason hiatus for years (Boston, Chicago, Washington).

Most of all, newer stars are shining in what was once Michael Jordan's Kingdom. Among the young guns are Amare Stoudemire, Ben Gordon, Kirk Hinrich, Gilbert Arenas, Larry Hughes, and last, but not least, Dwayne Wade. These are some of the names who hope to fill the large sneakers of Karl Malone, Reggie Miller, John Stockton, and Scottie Pippen.

We live in the era of the baby backcourt — a trend not likely to subside with the influx of high school and European talent. Neither Tony Parker or Amare Stoudemire ever set foot on a college campus. There is also the issue of Doc Rivers, Eddie Jordan, and the Van Gundy brothers attempting to prove their mettle as coaches. I'd rather be the Van Gundy coaching Shaq than the one with Yao. Ming has game, but his teammates don't know how best to mesh with him.

The other clear trend is the home court advantage. The Dallas Mavericks appeared comatose until they hosted two games at friendly American Airlines Arena. The Wizards, after an impressive regular campaign, were left for dead until they began playing in the place home fans affectionately call "the phone booth" (the MCI Center). Even the undermanned Celtics have had a Fleet (Center) recovery. These series are all tossups from here on in.

On the other hand, the Suns, Heat and Spurs, and to a lesser degree, the Sonics and Pistons, appear poised to dominate early opponents. Yet the strong teams' paths will cross en route to dethrone the Pistons. And Bad Boys II will be defeated, by Miami if no one else. They had answers for Shaq and Kobe, they'll have none for Shaq and Wade.

The Suns will be tested, but will come out of the West, as Tim Duncan sans David Robinson is just not the same. Steve Nash cancels out young Tony Parker, and there are simply too many Suns too defend.

It all shapes up for a meltdown — a Suns/Heat duel. Steve-Do vs. Shaq-Fu. Sun City vs. Sun City. When that showdown draws closer, I'll break it down and hazard a forecast. Until then, sunny days are ahead for the NBA.

Posted by Bijan C. Bayne at 2:30 PM | Comments (0)

NFL Draft Losers, Mel Kiper-Style

There could perhaps be no career as speculative as that of Mel Kiper Jr.'s. For years, he has been scrutinizing players and grading teams based on their drafts, always hours following the final pick. If you're a stockbroker, you at the least judged on the performance of the stock after the initial acquisition. With Mel, there is no follow up, only the look ahead to who will be topping the next draft.

To be honest, I have no idea how accurate he is over the long haul. I don't know if he thought taking Terrell Davis was a great call by Denver way back when, or if he thought San Diego's general manager might be a complete moron for taking Ryan Leaf. It might make for an interesting feature, to actually see how many of his prognostications are accurately fulfilled.

I am of course familiar with the quotes ESPN plays with regularity, Bill Tobin calling him an idiot when Mel criticized his selection of Trev Alberts with the fifth overall pick. And Mel never liked the former No. 1 overall selection from 1990, Jeff George. So according to the in-bumps ESPN runs, Mel Kiper seems very smart.

And since no one seems to recall who Mel Kiper thought the winners and losers were from the previous seasons, I thought I would make my own list.

Draft Losers

Arizona Cardinals: When was the last time they did anything to make you think they were going to be good? Last year, their quarterback situation was a joke. So what did they do in the offseason? Sign Kurt Warner. What, was Neil Lomax unavailable? Warner is done, and so are the Cardinals.

As for their draft ... who cares? Kurt Warner is their quarterback. This guy cannot throw the ball anymore. Why does he still have a job? They got a cornerback with their first pick? Did Dennis Green misread this guy's position by one letter? I hope Antrel Rolle cannot only pick it off and run it back, but also go under center and throw a couple to the soon-to-be most frustrated wide receiver corps in the game, not to mention their fantasy owners next season.

Baltimore Ravens: Another outstanding draft according to every pundit, except one thing ... they stink! Their quarterback kills them. They have this unbelievable defense, and when Jamal Lewis isn't in jail, an extremely potent running game. Their receivers are essentially single covered — yet they still can't make the playoffs. Brian Billick won a Super Bowl with Trent Dilfer, then released him because he wanted more than a quarterback who only set out not to throw an interception.

Enter Elvis Grbac, who threw so many interceptions he retired. Next up, is Kyle Boller, who has all the intangibles Grbac had, which is not a compliment. I'm sure they got some good players, but unless any of them want to throw anything farther than a two-yard completion to Todd Heap, the Ravens still stink. You don't get credit for avoiding your weakness.

Detroit Lions: Joey Harrington is awful, and Jeff Garcia is at best in his golden years. Why not bite the bullet and dump Harrington and bring in Aaron Rodgers? They do have lots and lots of receivers, especially named Williams. In fact, Roy and Mike might be the most devastating duo this season ... except they have no one to get them the ball! Matt Millen says this move will help their defense because their offense will be on the field more. Unless they run the Statue of Liberty play every single time and let Mike Williams throw to Roy Williams, it won't make a bit of difference to your defense if its Joey or Padraig taking snaps next season in Detroit.

Cleveland Browns: According to Mel Kiper, "You can't argue with the Browns taking the best player available." Yes, you can. For instance, let's say you draft a wide receiver and you have no quarterback. For example, look to this year when the Cleveland Browns took Braylon Edwards with the third pick overall. Who is going to get him the ball? Tim Couch?

Dallas Cowboys: They bolstered up their defense. Great. Terrific. Two words, and Bills know this tune: Drew Bledsoe. Hope those linemen block the weak side real well.

Minnesota Vikings: I don't know who this wide receiver is they drafted, I have never seen him play, my only question is can he stop the Arizona Cardinals from scoring a touchdown on 4th-and-goal from the 22 to go to the playoffs? I am so sick of the Vikings. The Daunte [Culpepper] "roll," the running back situation. Hey, Mike Tice, will you pick one so us fantasy owners can get on with our lives?

And why aren't they outdoors? They could be like the Packers, use the home field and the climate to their extreme advantage. I bet Chris Chandler wouldn't have led the Falcons to a win when it's -20 in St. Paul. Yeah, I know, they won a playoff game last year. Now do me a favor and stop being all giddy and try to contain Freddie Mitchell, for crying out loud.

New York Jets: This is the lifetime achievement award right here. The best thing about this year's draft was the Jets draft flashback montage that featured quotes from Jets fans such as, "They said if Dan Marino was still on the board, they would take him, so obviously the Jets know something everyone else doesn't it."

Or when Pete Rozelle announced the seemingly innocuous statement "fullback," only to draw cries of pain, symbolic of the chronic misery built up every year by the Jet fan, but only released during special events, events like the NFL draft, when hope springs eternal for all teams ... except the Jets. And the Vikings, too. Play outside already!

San Francisco 49ers: I have no idea who Alex Smith is, I have never seen him play, I don't know if he's a Mormon or not ... but I think he's terrible. He'll never make it. No chance. Unless he's good, then I'm wrong.

Washington Redskins: If Joe Gibbs drafts as well as he coached last year, we should all be in a real good position to sit back and watch Daniel Snyder lose his mind when the team stinks again and we get to watch him fire Gibbs and sign his 2000 fantasy team of Jerry Rice, Rod Woodson, and Bruce Smith ... again!

Posted by Piet Van Leer at 1:28 PM | Comments (5)

The P-Word in Baseball?

A few years ago, Boston Red Sox president Larry Lucchesi ratcheted up the team's rivalry with New York by describing the Yankees as the Evil Empire.

That remark would presumably cast Boston as the Rebel Alliance, with the sides — Red Sox and Yankees; Jedi and Sith; darkness and light, good and evil — battling eternally for galactic supremacy, at least in the American League East Division.

Maybe it'll turn out that way come September, but the Eewoks are in charge right now.

A quick look at the division standings after the season's opening month show Baltimore in leading by four games over Boston and Toronto, with New York six-and-a-half games adrift.

If all of AL East's top four teams maintain their current pace for the entire season, the Orioles would finish 27 games ahead of second-place Boston and 28 games up on the Blue Jays. At 44 games back, the O's would have lapped New York.

Were the season over today, a lot of players would fall way short of their performance incentives. Additionally, only two of last year's playoff qualifiers would return — and neither Boston, the defending World Series champion, nor New York, the consensus pick to win the title this year, would be among them.

That's consistent with a computer simulation in which the 2005 season was recreated 100 times, according to the April 11 issue of Sports Illustrated. In the simulations, 25 of the 30 major league teams qualified for the playoffs at least once.

Is it too early to say parity has come to Major League Baseball?

Yes and no. In the AL East, the Jedi and the Storm Troopers will probably get down to battling each other, and, just like in the Star Wars series, the Orioles will get caught in the crossfire.

The 162-game season has a way of exposing fluky performances, both for teams and individuals. But it's become obvious that the gaps between the haves and have-nots are closing to the point that a small-market team can conceivably win a World Series with breaking the bank.

What's most surprising about this year's postseason race interlopers is that no one ought to be particularly surprised that they are contending. Minnesota, now second in the AL Central, has the league's third-best record and would be in line as the wildcard team under the current standings.

The Twins were picked to win the division and are one of only two teams that would return to the playoffs if the current standings hold up.

The White Sox being in the AL Central driver's seat is a mild surprise, if only because they were predicted for a middle-of-the-pack finish based on recent disappointments more than on current talent. In the West, the Angels were a mid-season favorite, but the Rangers and A's weren't far behind. And that's how it's working out in real life.

In the National League, the Giants were the favorite pick in the West, at least before Barry Bonds went down. Without his presence, the Dodgers stepped into the void, which could have been expected.

Florida was picked by SI to finish second in the East Division, behind Atlanta, but a lot of other observers had the Braves in second. So far, the Marlins have been game fish. And with a pitching rotation anchored by Josh Beckett and Dontrelle Willis, they just might stay in first.

Once the most stratified league in professional sports, Major League Baseball is fast becoming a sport in which the battle is going not to the richest, but the smartest. Even though there is still some work to be done, small market teams now have a chance in baseball, which they didn't have a few years ago.

The lion's share of the credit goes to Bud Selig, the much-maligned commissioner. While the luxury tax he helped push through hasn't enabled small-market teams to match New York dollar for dollar, it has helped.

For teams at the bottom of the payroll list, the luxury tax can deliver more than $10 million. For the Tampa Bay Devil Rays, that's almost one-third of the payroll. In Milwaukee, the luxury tax helped fund a 46 percent increase in player salaries.

Another reason for baseball's semblance of parity has been an emphasis on the part of small and medium market teams on smart, rather than more, spending. The A's and their general manager, Billy Beane, are the prime example of this approach.

Detractors dismiss Beane's philosophy as merely looking at computer printouts to judge talent. In reality, his strategy is to look for talent that is undervalued in Major League Baseball's marketplace and pick it up for less than it's worth.

Now that everyone else has caught on to the value of players who can hit for power and draw walks, characteristics Beane has treasured in years past, the A's GM said last spring that he's on the search for the next type of player that is undervalued, yet valuable.

Make no mistake, there are still things that need to be done to help the small market teams — NFL-style revenue sharing and a salary cap would be the ultimate accomplishment — but habitual losing teams no longer can place all the blame on the New York Yankees.

In its May 1 sports section, the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette reported that the Pirates cut payroll this year, and are paying players $20 million less than they did three years ago, even though Pittsburgh received $17 million in salary tax funding this year alone.

The Post-Gazette report exposed the Pirates management as being unwilling, rather than unable, to spend the money to contend. But for teams looking to get better, they now have a chance, which is all small-market advocates ever wanted.

Posted by Eric Poole at 9:50 AM | Comments (0)

May 2, 2005

I Hate Mondays: Carlisle is Worthwhile

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Wise men say, only fools rush in. I know that because UB40 once told me that in the form of a song. That's why before I start falling in love with my decision for the NBA Coach of the Year, I'm going to take my time to review the crowd of candidates.

There hasn't been a year in recent memory where the award race was so close in this category, particularly with the continuous coaching carousel in the NBA. Here are the viable candidates:

Stan Van Gundy

Van Gundy received an early Christmas present when Shaquille O'Neal became a member of the Miami Heat, but he immediately felt a hot seat underneath himself with speculation of Phil Jackson or even Pat Riley pushing him aside for the job. After management reaffirmed the public that he was their guy, the lesser-known Van Gundy coached the Heat to the best record in the East and cemented them as a true championship contender. Unfortunately, his chances diminish since voters are more likely to accredit O'Neal for the sharp improvement rather than the coach.

Scott Skiles

Three rookies, a sophomore starting point guard, and two underachieving F/C's. Did you envision the Chicago Bulls in the playoffs? Since their 2-13 start, the discipline that Skiles has pounded into the Baby Bulls has been on display. A franchise that has been in shambles since Michael Jordan departed has finally been returned to a level of respectability with a 47-win season. Tyson Chandler's and Eddy Curry's lackadaisical production has led to the firing of a few of their previous coaches, but where the others have failed, Skiles has persevered to squeeze quality minutes out of this tandem. The strong defensive effort that the Bulls exhibit night-in and night-out can also be attributed to Skiles.

Mike D'Antoni

When the Phoenix Suns are passing from mouth-to-mouth near water coolers, D'Antoni's name is usually the last to be mentioned. Steve Nash for MVP, Shawn Marion for Defensive Player of the Year, or merely discussion of a recent Suns' highlight pack all precede any mention of the effective job D'Antoni has fulfilled with the league's best team (record-wise). He moved Amare Stoudemire to center in order to get his five best players into the starting lineup and in doing so, has forced every opponent to play the Suns' style of basketball. A large part of coaching is forcing your will on the opponent and dictating the style of play to them. In that case, a strong argument can be made for D'Antoni.

George Karl

One of the top candidates for this award is easily George Karl. Consider that he picked up an underachieving team that had compiled a 17-25 prior to his arrival, and then coached them to a 32-8 finish, you have to assign the bulk of that turnaround to the coach. There were virtually no roster transactions and no significant players returning from injury after his arrival. It was exactly the same team. An impressive feat, but what will likely keep the award out of his hands this time is that he only coached for half a season.

Nate McMillan

If the picture you drew of the 2004-05 NBA season had the Seattle Supersonics finishing as the number three seed in the Western Conference, then you, my friend, are a clairvoyant. The Sonics started as the hottest team in the league with a 23-6 record and nailed down first place in a division that Minnesota or Denver was supposed to own. More than half of the team's players do not have contracts beyond the end of this season, including franchise player Ray Allen, as well as McMillan himself, but that has not been a distraction. McMillan has imposed a level of professionalism that should not go unnoticed, but considering the team did finish with a mediocre 29-24 record after their hot start, his chances may shrink.

Rick Carlisle

No coach has had to overcome more obstacles than the Indiana Pacers' Rick Carlisle. Never mind the shame of the November 19th Malice at the Palace, the reality of it was that the Pacers lost their best player for the year, Ron Artest, and were forced to play 10 games without their second-best player, Jermaine O'Neal, and 30 games without their third-best player, Stephen Jackson. Take Nash or Marion off the Suns for a year, or subtract Shaq or Dwayne Wade off the Heat, are they still playoff-bound?

Also, you can factor in a plethora of injuries, headlined by starting point guard, Jamaal Tinsley, who has missed more than half the season and you start to wonder how this team even sported a winning record at the end of the regular season? With Artest onboard and a healthy lineup, this team would be contending for a ring. Nonetheless, while they've had every excuse to quit along the way, Carlisle has kept them focused.

Here's the process of elimination: the Pacers won just a few games less than the Bulls, Karl only coached half a season, McMillan's Sonics faded in the second half of the season, while Van Gundy and D'Antoni simply could not have overcome the same suspensions/injuries that the Pacers rose above.

Some may think that the red, red wine has gone to my head, but I just can't help falling in love with Rick Carlisle for NBA Coach of the Year.

UB40 and NBA coaches mix like Mondays and me.

"I have no special gift; I am only passionately curious." — Albert Einstein

Don't miss next week's installment of I Hate Mondays, sponsored by CyberSportsbook.com, a great sportsbook for horseracing and casino action!

Posted by Dave Golokhov at 12:22 PM | Comments (0)

MLB's Upstarts and Stalwarts

While it's way too soon to seriously start talking about Major League Baseball's 2005 postseason team candidates, who would have thought that the Baltimore Orioles and the Chicago White Sox would have had the best winning percentages in all of baseball, right behind that of the 2004 National League champion St. Louis Cardinals?

But perhaps even more surprising is the first losing record in April for the New York Yankees in 13 years and the first for manager Joe Torre in his tenure with the team. With the Yankees hanging on for dear life not to wind up in the cellar of the American League East, what a difference an offseason can make.

There was much speculation for most of the second half of 2004 that Baltimore manager Lee Mazzilli was in jeopardy of losing his job. But he obviously did not take that seriously when his team swept the Yankees in April at Yankee Stadium for the first time in many years and with the O's first series sweep of the Yankees since 2000. Enjoying the offensive plights of the seemingly overnight transformation of second baseman Brian Roberts with a batting average of .385, Mazzilli also finally has a pitching staff that is at least getting the ball over the plate this season. Having played 11 of their first 22 games against both the Yankees and the Boston Red Sox, Mazzilli will take it going into May.

And with one of the best pitching staffs in all of baseball, the Chicago White Sox are also enjoying success and in part owed to the efforts of ex-Yankees Jose Contreras, traded by the Yankees midseason in 2004, and Orlando "El Duque" Hernandez, who the Yankees chose not to re-sign for 2005.

It was a no-brainer giving up on Contreras after the abysmal numbers he put up in the post-season in 2003 and with his awful first half in 2004. But diehard Yankee fans had a hard time dealing with the banishment of El Duque, who was so impressive in August and September of last year and now with the fourth-best ERA in the American League at 2.35. And Contreras with a 3.05 ERA is enjoying his first successful season in the Major Leagues.

Both ex-Yankees join a formidable pitching rotation with an ERA averaging 3.00 that includes Mark Buehrle, Freddy Garcia, and Jon Garland. The bullpen has been the weak link for the Sox, but with the type of power pitching they have displayed, far more expected such success to come from the cross-town Cubs. Chicago's wins have taken the pressure off of the bullpen, as well as the defense. And they have been impressive without the services of DH Frank Thomas, still on the DL from the beginning of the season. However, with the recent loss of shortstop Juan Uribe, out with a groin injury, they will now have to regroup.

Let's not get carried away, however, with the successes of the Orioles or White Sox. Each will clearly need to remain healthy and get back those who are injured in order to remain in contention throughout the season. And their achievements are all the more underscored by the Yankees' equally uncharacteristic losing record. But, of course, most non-Yankee fans are more than thrilled to see the team of all-stars now struggling.

And speaking of expectations, fans have been spoiled by the terrific numbers Roger Clemens has been putting up for the past 22 years in MLB. Yet each year he pitches over the age of 40 is hardly a guarantee. But this season, at the age of 42, Clemens has pitched lights out. Unfortunately, the Houston Astros have not been capable of scoring runs for him. Clemens has pitched outstandingly in his first five games. He had 23 scoreless innings in his first four games, yet with only one win to show for it. Through five games, Clemens owns a miniscule 1.03 ERA, amongst the very lowest in all of MLB, while allowing only eight walks thus far for the whole season.

But while Clemens can only stifle the opposition, the Astros have let him down as he only has the one win. As it was, Clemens batted in the only run scored in that winning effort. But while we wait for the Astros to restore some kind of offense to their lineup and await the return of outfielder Lance Berkman, who has been on the DL all season, we can only continue to admire the Rocket's command and watch his impressive stats continue to stack up. We should not take any of his performances for granted, for as long as he remains one of the best pitchers in baseball, his efforts are but a bonus for all baseball fans alike.

Given the many other individual achievements, as well as successful team efforts so far this season, we will just have to be patient to see which are the real deal now that April has passed. As the weather warms up and both pitchers and batters get into a seasonal rhythm, we are tempted to discount the games of April, which is less than a month of the total season. Yet pennant races and wildcard berths may be won down the stretch as in 2004, so wins in April continue to play an important role in deciding postseason play.

What makes the baseball season so special is that no individual player's achievement or any team's success is greater than the entirety of the game. Because baseball is a delicate balance of talent, execution, timing, good health, leadership, team chemistry, and confidence, any and/or all of these components can determine the rise or fall of any given team. And the total combination of such paints the entire season's canvas.

So now that May is here, we can finally get down to business. Let's play ball!

Posted by Diane M. Grassi at 12:09 PM | Comments (0)