Tonight on CBS: It's Fight Club, Fenway Park-style.
Did you happen to see last night, during yet another intriguing episode of "Hey, Look at Me Mom ... I'm a Drunk Fool," a baseball game interrupted the show. I am getting pretty tired of sports interrupting my reality TV.
I mean, who do the Yankees and Red Sox think they are? How dare they take a 5-5 score into the bottom of the eighth inning and try to impose baseball "drama" on the real action taking place in the stands? I, for one, am tired of these athletes taking the spotlight away from the real star, Joey Tough Guy, in the right field bleachers. Don't they know that I spend my hard-earned money on my cable bill so I can watch "When Fans Attack" without having to be worried about something as trivial as a baseball game?
In all seriousness, the disaster that has become modern day fandom has to be addressed. When did it become okay for fans to feel entitled to interrupt a game and interact with the players? When did English Soccer Fan cross the pond and invade baseball and how can it be stopped?
First and foremost, Major League Baseball and the Commissioner's Office need to take a hard, long look at their policies regarding fan conduct at games. When Tom Gamboa was shockingly attacked a few years back by those crazy White Sox fans, what did baseball do? Supposedly they increased security and made an effort to protect the players and keep fans off the field.
It seemed to work, because just seven short months later, another lunatic came barging out of Commiskey Park's stands and attacked an umpire, entirely unprovoked. Last season, a Dodger "fan" threw a bottle onto the field in the direction of Milton Bradley. The fan was lucky Bradley didn't have one of his typical meltdowns and, as the kids affectionately like to say, go gangsta.
Yet, the major penalty most of these fans face is an escort out of the park and effectively a slap on the wrist not to do it again. Both teams and Major League Baseball need to address this alarming trend immediately — before a player becomes seriously hurt.
Baseball needs to attack this problem in two ways: hit both the clubs and the fans where it hurts. For teams, whenever an incident like this occurs, Major League Baseball needs to suspend alcohol sales at the stadium where the incident occurred for a least one homestand. If an incident occurs again, alcohol sales should be barred for an entire season. Do this, and Major League teams will get very serious about security and keeping fans off the field.
For fans, Major League Baseball needs to implement a policy of no tolerance. You stick any part of your body into the field of play, you are immediately ejected. If you touch a player, you are immediately ejected and banned from the park for life.
Sounds harsh. It is. But people will start to get the message when they are no longer allowed to attend games ... ever. As a fan of the game, I am tired of seeing these buffoons charging the field or attacking players. I watch the games for the game and the athletes. Not to see some idiot make a fool of himself on TV and ruin the experience for the rest of us. If I want to see real people act stupid on TV, I will turn to CBS for my "Survivor" fix.
By the way, did I mention the Red Sox came back and scored three in the bottom of the eighth to win the game? Isn't that really the story and why we watch the game?
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