I Hate Mondays: Female Trepidation

When you think of a stereotypical male, what are the first notions that come to mind? Confident, strong, a leader or problem solver, tough, successful, athletic, and possibly angry.

Now do the same for a female. The adjectives nurturing, sensitive, emotional, elegant, enjoy discussing inner feelings, and self-conscious should come to mind.

After watching Barry Bonds' and Mark McGwire's latest media appearances, it's clear to understand which of the above categories they stand, or should I say sit, closer to.

In a recent interview, Bonds was at the brink of tears when a reporter asked mundane questions. The man who takes 90-mile-an-hour fastballs near his chin without flinching reacted like Randy Johnson landed a heater off his thigh. There, there, Barry, let me give you a hug. Did somebody hurt your feelings?

Whatever happened to the rugged slugger who would rebelliously wear a big shiny cross in one ear while tossing cut-eye to any unordinary inquiries?

Now, all of the sudden, he begs for sympathy by tag-teaming with his sullen son in camera shots and displays a depressed facial expression to gain pity. The one-time tough guy has now morphed into a sensitive family man. To be honest, as he leisurely crutched away with his head drooping, I thought of a stereotypical female.

Mark McGwire was before Congress merely days ago and he too couldn't restrain his emotions. Saline spilled down his face every time he voiced the word "children" as he whimpered through his opening statement. In hand was a bottle of water the size of four chicken nuggets. In '98, Big Mac would have chugged those four ounces, then probably crushed the bottle in between his middle and ring finger. Now, macho Mac and his mother goose reading glasses need four swigs to polish it off. Real masculine.

These two chumps used to be male icons, but now chauvinists are itching to yell, "quit acting like a girl!"

They have become subject to feminization.

Much is made of the "positive" effects that steroids can have on a user such as improved power and accelerated muscle recuperation but as we search for evidence to incriminate guilty perpetrators, the side effects of the illegal drug may give us a few clues.

One of the main side effects in males who use anabolic steroids is feminization. After using steroids over a long period of time and flooding the body with excess amounts of testosterone, the body gets use to the surplus and stops producing the natural hormone on its own. Testosterone is the most important male sex hormone which makes men men.

What are most people saying about Mark McGwire right now?

"Why did he skirt the questions? If he did steroids, he should have confessed and addressed the issue like a man."

And Bonds?

"He used to be so rigid with reporters, why has he become so sensitive?"

It's true, we all grow soft as our age increments, but if we are to be candid, it is hard not to associate Bonds' and McGwire's recent behavior with the stereotypical female.

My explanation may be a bit of a stretch, but it is a fact that steroid users are known to lose their manliness after discontinuing intake.

Maybe that's just the case.

Steroid side effects and stereotypes mix like Mondays and me.

"A woman is like a tea bag. You never know how strong she is until she gets in hot water." — Nancy Reagan

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