I was in Chicago this past week, so I was inundated with Illini talk. On my flight to Columbus to call a pair of hockey games for a major sports talk station, I was reading an SI article on the Illini while filling out my All-American ballot (which seemed to have an orange tint). Naturally, when I landed in Ohio State territory, I thought the Buckeyes had little chance of knocking off Illinois.
I was impressed by Thad Matta's win, but I can't help but scoff at those who think that this loss "exposed" the Illini. As we get closer to the tournament, I'll be doing a lot of college basketball, but one thing I can guarantee right now is that Illinois will be in St. Louis, and I am almost certain they will leave as the best team in college basketball. They are that good.
Like I said, in the next couple weeks, I will be churning out a ton of basketball pieces, including my now finished All-American ballot. But before we get into the Madness that is March and now that my Illini rant is over, here is part two of the mailbag (a-ll emails received in the last four weeks).
Mark
As a Staten Islander I have followed the progress of NASCAR's efforts to build a track on Staten Island. I don't know if I'm for it or against it. Would you please give me your take on this move?
Alan on the Island
This is a sports column, but seeing as how I've received several other non-sports e-mails, I will tackle this topic, as well. I think it would be a terrible idea. The last thing Staten Island needs is SARS. The second to last thing they need is a NASCAR track. In my mind, an NHL franchise is worth more than a NASCAR track. The NHL won't bring anything in, but the NASCAR track will bring a lot of what you don't want.
Hey Mark,
London is awesome....during the playoffs, we went to an American Bar we found so we could watch the steelers game. The bar had mostly americans there but there were a lot of british people there too. They seemed to love American Football. The place was rockin, it was really fun. I was pretty surprised at the global love for the sport. I didnt expect to see much of any american influence here much at all. But there were tons of terrible towels in there and it was cool to see. People were chanting J-E-T-S JETS JETS JETS...it was cool.. I talked to a British guy and he said he loves american football and says theres nothing like it. I just thought it was cool how global our sports are and how much ppl love to watch, and how neat it is that i can be 3500 miles away, and still catch my neighborhood team play.
Willie, currently in London, originally from Ohio
Plainly, what you are trying to say, is that America rules. I'm glad to see some people overseas know what real football is. Next time you are there, do me a favor and bust out the USA chant, so people know where you stand. I don't know what it is, you just don't see too many Americans gushing about soccer and cricket.
(Due to space constraints, I've edited everything except the important parts of this next e-mail.)
"Once each year, in the far northern reaches of Alaska, sled dog teams trot for over 1000 miles through the frozen heart of the Alaskan Wilderness...
John was the butt of many jokes concerning his team of sled poodles. But with imagination and much fortitude, John shaped a team of curly canine misfits into a well-disciplined team of determined poodles. Four times they raced in the Iditarod Trail Sled Dog race, and three times they finished. They never won the race, but each time they gave many of the husky teams a run for the money.
John and his poodles are setting their sights now on new adventures, including the silver screen. Once again, John and the poodles are aiming for what seems to be an impossible task-to make a movie of their many adventures together. But if they, as a team, can negotiate the rugged Iditarod Trail, it would be no great surprise to see John and his merry band of Spirit Poodles sprinting across movie screens in yet another brighter, bolder adventure."
Thank you!
Larry Williams
This is simply fantastic. I don't know how it isn't a movie already. Who wouldn't want to see a movie about John and his 101 Dalmatians? I was actually sitting around with a few friends the other day, discussing movie ideas. Now, my plot wasn't as solid as this, but we found there are two things in movies that always sell: scantily-clad women, and poodles, but never together. Seeing how this idea has one of the two, you should start spending your money now.
SUBJECT: Opening this email will infect your computer with a virus!
Mark,
Did you really just open this e-mail…you are such a moron.
Brian in Anderson
Well played.
Mark,
Thanks for supporting the soldiers and thanks for spreading the word -
Sue
TreatAnySoldier
This is the e-mail in the pack that is a little dated, but I just wanted to pimp them again because it is such an important thing. No matter what your stance is on the war you should support our troops, they are there doing their job, not necessarily because they believe in the war. Visit AnySoldier.com.
SUBJECT: AS FOR COMPARING JACKIE ROBINSON WITH A HOMOSEXUAL
HOMOSEXUALITY IS NOT A RACE OR CREED. IT IS SEXUAL PREFERENCE SO I AND ALL AFRICAN AMERICANS WOULD APPRECIATE IF YOU WOULD NOT INCLUDE OUR HUNDREDS OF YEARS OF BONDAGE FOR COMPARISON IN YOUR STRUGGLES
THANK YOU
EX POP WARNER FOOTBALL PLAYER
Dear Homophobe,
First off, thank you for responding to an 11-month old column, and congratulations on finishing it. In fact, that alone should be an accomplishment for you. No longer must you cling to your youth football glory, feel free to sign your next e-mail, "The guy who read something that wasn't on a Bazooka Joe wrapper." Second, you took that line out of context, so I'm afraid you won't get those extra points for reading comprehension. Third, I know the computer at the library can be hard to work, but on most keyboards, there is a caps lock button on the left, and that will take care of your typing problems.
The only struggle I have with this issue is dealing with ignorant people like you (well, outside of the relationship problems I have to repair with my girlfriend now that you have outed me). I have several homosexual friends, and the reason they have to deal with so much garbage is because of worthless people like you. I anxiously await your response, I'll check for it around March '07.
SUBJECT: Increase your chance at finding a date by 2700%
Mark,
We can't reveal who wants to meet you, but if you click here now, you can find out for yourself
Letter signed only with the pics of four ladies
I was tempted not to include this e-mail because:
1. They didn't include a name, only a picture of people I did not really recognize.
2. The subject of the e-mail. I hate when people try to sell me calendars online. I am very proficient at finding a date, as I usually check on my computer or on my cell phone, but even if I couldn't, I'm not going to buy a calendar from someone I don't know. In theory, I will be able to find the date faster if I have more calendars, but that isn't yet a top concern for me.
Actually, I don't know why I included this at all.
Mark
while deep in though the other day, i realized, what is the parking situation at the special olympics, do they all pile into those two front spaces, any thoughts?
Mike in Jersey
You make a fantastic point. I have yet to cover a Special Olympics, but it is something I would like to do at some point. As far as your question goes, I have two guesses. One, they run some sort of shuttle service just in the parking lot, like a big bus just doing laps around the lot. My second guess would be that not too many of the athletes are driving themselves to the games, as they may be able to carpool or goad the person who sponsored them to drive them.
Mark Chalifoux is also a weekly columnist for SportsFan Magazine. His columns appear every Tuesday on Sports Central. You can e-mail Mark at [email protected].
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