Usher’s Cavaliers? Yeah!

The press conference gave a glimpse of a different kind of environment.

Dan Gilbert and Usher promised that their acquisition of the Cleveland Cavaliers was no light matter. Promising to bring the organization back to their glory days, transform the city landscape and put in on the national map as an entertainment destination, and make the experience of attending a game a memorable event, the new owners showed a fresh energy and attitude.

Yes, they said, there are plans in the works for a new scoreboard, in-game entertainment, and other amenities that could make Cleveland a favorable option for free-agents (as if having a guy named LeBron on the court wasn't enough).

But, as Usher reminded us that he will be actively involved in the team's affairs, there are certain things every Cleveland fan can look forward to in the coming years:

  • Consultant Lil' John substituting Crunk Juice for Gatorade, which will be consumed from specially-made pimp cups.
  • Cleveland can finally lay claim to some trophies, even if they are from the Grammy's.
  • Listening to "Yeah!" approximately once every five seconds for the next five years.
  • Crushed velvet jerseys every time an Usher CD goes platinum.
  • Usher's good mood and smile balancing out the seemingly permanent scowl on Paul Silas's face.
  • A cameo appearance by Zydrunas Ilgauskas in Usher's next video, singing a verse in Lithuanian while doing the robot under green strobe lights.
  • In an effort to get the fans more involve, Usher allows one fan each night to be part of his posse. VH1 quickly agrees to produce a reality show based on the concept, and Usher trounces P. Diddy's "Borrow My Crew" in the ratings.
  • "Confessions: Part III" video featuring a bare-chested Drew Carey standing in the rain.
  • Because everyone loves a spin-off, Zydrunas Ilgauskas gets his own "Borrow my Crew"-themed show. Unfortunately, it's canceled after network executives realize viewers don't want to watch seven old Lithuanian men sitting around a table drinking vodka.

See you at the game!

Comments and Conversation

March 5, 2005

Black Jack:

racist

March 6, 2005

Marc James:

Racist? How about a sense of humor? There was nothing racist here, and you could at least provide some examples of what you’re referring to. Too many people play the race card with no evidence to back it up. Get over it.

March 6, 2005

Alex:

I LUV USHER!! im soo glad hes doin this 4 this basketball team…he is soo thoughtful…USHER IS THE BEST!!

March 6, 2005

WoOt:

oh god, not another hater, hating on a brother that has doing well for himself. shees whats with all the jealous people out there these days.

March 14, 2005

gotitmadeinamerica:

Stop pissing up a rope. Usher is a busineess man, making business moves. Having Lebron isn’t enough..hell even Jordan couldn’t win it on his own. Usher made a smart investment, someone will come play for him..because he is USHER. Cleveland could be on the rise in a few years. Then he will sell the team for a mint..laughing at us all..drinking up all the CRUNK JUICE he can get his hands on..Great Job USHER.

March 22, 2005

Siang:

It’s nice to see Usher do that. Wow, it has became a truly dream team for the Cavs, with superstar Usher becoming the part-owner, and Lebron as their best player.

April 9, 2005

shaianna:

dear usher, you got the sexy sixpacks !!

December 29, 2005

Taneesa:

usher ur the best i am ur toppest fan and i would always be from taneesa {barbados remember us}

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