I Hate Mondays: Wrong Said Fred

Who is No. 84 for the Philadelphia Eagles?

He's a first-round bust, has caught only 90 passes in four seasons, struts around in cheap postgame attire, and claims that he's too sexy for Asante Samuel, Randall Gay, Hank Poteat, and Troy Brown of the New England Patriots secondary — but I can never remember his name.

Is it James Thrash?

No. 84 has contributed roughly three cents to the NFL's piggybank, two of which came in a decent playoff performance two weeks ago, and he's decided it's time to put the 15 seconds of fame he's received to bad use.

But that's how the spotlight is dished out in the NFL, isn't it?

For three years, naming the constituents of the Philadelphia Eagles receiving corps was a simple task because they were non-existent. Their spectral offerings became a well-documented story in the media, and now everyone truly knows who these ghosts are.

But in those same three years, two of which New England was crowned Champions, how many Patriots were blown up into mass-media dolls? The only household name is Tom Brady, and he is constantly deflating his own publicity.

Celebrating prematurely, wearing Mohawks, and taunting opposing teams pre-game earns you a spot on the camera — quietly winning does not.

While No. 84 is far from a winner, his cheap shot is very disrespectful.

It's not like the Patriots have badly underachieved in recent weeks and are looking for a spark to motivate the squad, but this will work. To some teams, there are worse things to say, but not to the Patriots.

This team has fought through seasons with the unavoidable tag of "no-names." When they faced the St. Louis Rams in the Super Bowl, it was the Greatest Show on Turf versus some hopeless underdog. Very few people at that time could name at least four members off the whole Patriots roster, never mind four players in the secondary.

Last year, and this year, they weren't supposed to beat Indianapolis' brand name team with their President's Choice backups. How could Randall Gay and Troy Brown slow down Marvin Harrison and Peyton Manning's lethal passing attack? The Patriots thrive on underestimation.

For a team that has overcome virtually every type of opponent possible in the past three years, has lost only two games in the last 34 weeks of football, and hasn't lost in the playoffs under Tom Brady, nothing fuels the fire like saying, "I'm not quite familiar with your team."

Hey No. 84, celebration and success only come before work in the dictionary. Enjoy doing what you do best — losing.

No. 84's taunting and superfluous media appearances mix like Mondays and me.