There’s Something About the Patriots

Dear Patriots,

On behalf of the entire sports world, I'd like to apologize. We doubted you. We thought you'd finally crack. Some of us picked against you. We were idiots.

You'd think we would have learned our lesson by now. But we did what we always do. We fell in love with the flashy team with the MVP under center, the team whose offense is one of the best in league history.

How shortsighted. How stupid.

But I know you understand — you've always been doubted. And this year, the doubting seemed sharper, stronger, grounded more in fact than in wishful thinking.

You came into Saturday's game against the Colts with a decimated secondary. A wide receiver was your nickelback. Your best defensive lineman was injured.

Your offense seemed too vanilla, especially compared with the steamrolling Colts. You had a great running back for a change, but that didn't matter. No way you could keep up with the pyrotechnics on the other side.

And your coach? Well, he's just boring. How can he be this genius? He wears a hooded sweatshirt and looks about as excitable as a snail. On top of that, his top two assistants are halfway out the door. Offensive coordinator Charlie Weis has already been hired as the head coach at Notre Dame. He's got a foot in both places. And defensive coordinator Romeo Crennel is the leading candidate to take over in Cleveland.

So do you blame us? All those analysts who picked against you, all those columnists who said your run would finally end — do you blame them?

No, I guess you don't. More importantly, you don't care. You've never cared about the superficial stuff, the big numbers. You cared only about the numbers on the scoreboard.

You proved to us that the scoreboard really is all that matters. You proved us wrong.

We said you couldn't stop the Colts' offense. Well, you did, and in a way none of us even considered. You barely had to stop them. The Colts never got the ball. You held it for 37:43, compared with 22:17 for the Colts.

The offense gave you, as always, just enough.

And now you're heading back to the AFC Championship Game. With a win, you can cement your place in football lore as an improbable dynasty in an era of ridiculous parity.

It won't be easy, of course. You have to play the Steelers, the only team that's beaten you this season.

But I've learned my lesson. I won't pick against you. Even if I thought you might lose, I wouldn't pick against you. There's just something about you.

I don't think you'll lose, though. That last time in Pittsburgh on Halloween was a ghostly aberration. You had four turnovers. You played terrible. And you still could have won.

Now, the golden boy Big Ben has lost some of his luster. Duce Staley is hobbled. And the Steelers haven't been here in a while.

And you? Well ... you're just you. There's something about you. I should have realized it before now. But I know I'll never forget it.

So, good luck, Patriots. But it's not like you need it.

Love,

William

P.S. — If you lose this week, I'm never speaking to you again.