Counting Chickens

I still haven't seen anything that would make me think the Indianapolis Colts are going to walk into Foxboro and put a whippin' on the New England Patriots.

I'm not exactly sure how Manning's personal accomplishments this season translate into an automatic Super Bowl appearance.

I'm not sure where the NFL faithful have gone delusional and think the Colts have somehow managed to obtain a defense.

I'm not all that sure how a dome team like the Colts are going to overcome the weather on the East Coast. Last I checked ... it's pretty muddy over there. Inclement conditions are what the Patriots love.

Granted, the Colts have the most explosive offensive in the league, an honor once held by the St. Louis Rams, who are still in contention for Super Bowl glory, even with an 8-8 record, but the road to the Vince Lombardi trophy still goes through Tom Brady and the Patriots.

Let's start off with a few interesting statistics...

The Colts have lost five in a row to the Patriots and 13 of the last 15.

Peyton Manning's record is 1-6 against Bill Belichick, head coach of the New England Patriots.

But the Colts are going to destroy the Patriots?

I applaud Manning for searing the opposing secondaries, this season. Unless you've been in cave, then you know he tossed a record-breaking 49 touchdown passes this season, eclipsing Dan Marino's old mark.

But no one can throw 49 touchdowns in a game.

You say the Colts have a defense?

Let me put a little bug in your ear.

In the regular season, the Colts played a wide spectrum of teams. Opposing teams, that actually do have an offense, such as New England, Green Bay, Jacksonville, Kansas City, Minnesota, and San Diego scored 27, 31, 27, 45, 28, and 31 points respectively.

New England, Kansas City, and Jacksonville won those particular games.

On the other hand, toward the end of the season, five out of six games, the Colts played teams who, without a doubt, are the most lethargic of all the offenses in the league.

The Colts played Houston ... twice. You can, also, throw in the games against the scoring machines from Chicago, Detroit, and Baltimore.

Now, all of a sudden, the 1985 Chicago Bears' defense has manifested themselves into Colts' uniforms?

Are you kidding me?

No one knows what will happen until Sunday, but the pressure isn't on the Patriots. Belichick makes sure his defense isn't fooled by all the false audibles that Manning is so adept at calling (or not calling, as the case may be) and it's up to Manning to figure out what Belichick is doing.

It may look like the linebackers are blitzing, but why are the corners coming instead or the safeties seem to be dropping back into coverage, so Manning thinks they may blitz, but, oops, the safeties really are dropping back into coverage.

Mike Vanderjagt, the Colts placekicker, as you know doubt have heard, has provided the Patriots with bulletin board material.

Atta boy.

The Patriots, though lacking the skilled mastery of defensive backs such as Ty Law and Tyrone Poole, will still find a way to stop the Colts' scoring machine.

The only reason I know this is because I saw a different version of "The Lord of the Rings", starring Tom Brady as Frodo.

If there is one thing I do not need to hear again is how the Patriots have to outscore the Colts in order to win the game.

Duh.