If nothing else, I strive for consistency.
I'm consistently late to important meetings. I get consistently angry at Virginia drivers who treat lane mergers like a M.I.T. entrance exam. And this column, by and large, is consistently awful.
I'm also consistent when it comes to the Baseball Hall of Fame. I remain, as always, the Cooperstown Nazi. My Hall of Fame would have about 25% of the players currently enshrined. You can't be great. You can't be an all-star. You can't be a Hall of Fame-caliber player. You have to be a legend. You have to be timeless. I have to be able to mention your name in the same breath as Babe Ruth, Ty Cobb, Mickey Mantle, and Willie Mays without choking down my bile.
I know this is restrictive. I know that in some cases, uncomfortable and uncompromising decisions have to be made. Like, for example, telling Ryne Sandberg that he doesn't merit induction into My Hall of Fame.
Sure, he's Cooperstown worthy. Best second baseman in baseball — until Robbie Alomar revolutionized the position. He's a better hitter than Sandberg was, and in the end will have more hits, runs, and RBI. Sandberg is going into the Hall of Fame because of his defense, his consistency, and his professionalism. (Why he meets these criteria better than fellow Cubs alumnus Ron Santo is a question for the baseball writers.) But he's certainly not going in because generations of fans will speak his name in hushed tones. I mean, is there any comparison between the impact Ryne Sandberg had on baseball and that of contemporaries like Ozzie Smith?
Wade Boggs is in my Hall of Fame. No question. He and Tony Gwynn are the best pure hitters of the last 30 years. Better than George Brett, Robin Yount, or Paul Molitor. Better than dozens of names that are currently etched on plaques in the Hall.
Next year, there are no sure things for Cooperstown. If years past have been bumper crops, this one's the bummer crop. Unless you just need to have Mickey Morandini in your Hall of Fame. I'm pretty sure I wouldn't even admit him into mine.
In 2007, first-ballot sure things like Gwynn, Mark McGwire, and Cal Ripken, Jr. are up for the Hall (along with walking conundrum Harold Baines). So it's expected that at least one or two of the near-misses from this year — Jim Rice, Goose Gossage, and Bruce Sutter for example — will get the nod for 2006.
I know the rest of the sports world isn't about to adopt my rigid criteria for Hall of Fame induction. But at the very least, I beg the baseball writers to at least use some common sense in voting to bestow the greatest of great honors on players who may or may not deserve them.
So let's just drop the following Hall of Fame debate points, shall we?
"HE WAS THE BEST AT HIS POSITION FOR 'X' NUMBER OF YEARS." This criterion is just hypocritical, because the voters refuse to look at every position in baseball as being of equal importance. Do they differentiate between left fielders and centerfielders, or is everyone just an outfielder? One position is clearly more challenging defensively than the other. Starters and closers are considered, but a middle reliever or setup man will never be. Laugh all you want at some guy for "throwing away" his vote on Tony Phillips this year, but I bet he could make a better case for the best utility man of the last 20 years getting into the Hall of Fame before some guy who voted for Willie McGee could.
"HE MADE 'X' ALL-STAR GAMES." Not only are we talking about a completely subjective and political achievement here, but we're talking about an honor given for a half-season of success. Shouldn't a Hall of Famer play his best baseball after July?
"PEOPLE WOULD PAY TO SEE HIM PLAY." Out of the handful of arguments I've heard made against Boggs' induction, this is the one mentioned most. That he wasn't, by some measurements, a star. That no one went to the ballpark to watch him play. I wonder if these people would rather have Dave Kingman and Darryl Strawberry in the Hall?
"HE WON 'X' CY YOUNG AWARDS." Like certain power numbers (500 HRs, for example) are the benchmarks for sluggers getting into the Hall of Fame, a Cy Young is nearly mandatory for a pitcher. This is where relievers get completely screwed. Since Steve Bedrosian in 1987, three relief pitchers (Mark Davis, Eric Gagne, and Dennis Eckersley) have won the Cy Young Award ... out of 36 possible awards. Compare that with the 1970s, when Mike Marshall, Bruce Sutter, and Sparky Lyle all won in a span of five years.
"OTHER TEAMS FEARED HIM AND PITCHED AROUND HIM." This was an argument I heard Bob Ryan make regarding Jim Rice. There's no denying that Rice was a feared hitter and a great player. But if he gets in, so does Andre Dawson. So does Jose Canseco. So does Fred McGriff. Hell, Juicy Giambi could even get in.
And if he gets in ... who doesn't?
Random Thoughts
In 2001, close to 3,000 Americans died in terrorist attacks on New York City and Washington, DC. Out of respect for the dead, and the means by which they died, Rocky Mountain News columnist Bernie Lincicome suggested the New York Jets change their name.
In 2004, over 150,000 people died in a Tsunami in Southeast Asia.
So c'mon, Bernie ... where's the outrage? Should the University of Alabama eliminate its nickname? What about the Tulane University Green Wave? Then there's the Colorado's Rapids of the MLS. That's right in your backyard, Bern...
Boggs and Sandberg both mentioned they think Pete Rose should be in the Hall of Fame. "Without him, there's a void in the Hall of Fame. He needs to be there," said Boggs.
Okay, boys, you win. I think Rose should be in the Hall of Fame, too ... on the condition he takes one of your spots.
Deal?
Didn't think so...
I'm so disappointed with the fans at the Orange Bowl for booing Ashlee Simpson after her halftime performance. Why? Because she "can't sing?" Because she has no "discernable talent?" Because her nose looks like the beak of a toucan after it flew into a "brick wall?"
What about the art, people? What about taking a step back from the MTV razzle dazzle aesthetics and really focusing on the words coming out of her mouth in her new hit single, "La, La":
"You make me wanna la la, la la la, la la, la la la la la la la la la
You make me wanna la la, la la la la
You make me wanna la la, la la la, la la, la la la la la la la la la
You make me wanna la la, la la la la
You make me wanna la la, la la la, la la, la la la la la la la la la
You make me wanna la la, la la la la"
On second thought...
Speaking of the Orange Bowl: 55-to frickin'-19? And you thought Oklahoma was emasculated by being a Broadway musical...
Why does every Verizon customer service representative sound like Harriet Tubman? Just asking...
Marv Albert was on The Late Show With David Letterman Wednesday night and was absolutely fantastic. Good banter, some interesting insights, hilarious sports bloopers. And not once did he attempt to munch on Paul Schaffer's back...
Finally, Christmas has come and gone, and I'm left wondering if my parents have paid attention to anything I've said for the last 27 years. Seriously, I'm not that hard to shop for: Jets, Mets, Devils, Nets, Mystery Science Theater, DVDs, sports books not written by either John Feinstein or Mitch Albom. This isn't brain surgery.
But was there a single gift from any of those categories for me under my parents' tree? Hell no. Did my father hand me a decretive bag of de-icer, scrappers, and a big plastic shovel so I can winterize my car here in balmy Washington, DC? Of course.
Makes me yearn for those Christmases of yore, when I'd ask for whatever the hot gift that season was (Laser Tag, Teddy Ruxpin) and then never touch it again after January 12th...
Greg Wyshynski is also a weekly columnist for SportsFan Magazine. His columns appear every Saturday on Sports Central. You can e-mail Greg at [email protected].
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