NFL Week 15 Power Rankings

Five Quick Hits

* On Sunday alone, I heard about the Andy Reid tights bet on four separate programs. Five, if you count "Fastest 3 Minutes" as separate from the Colts/Ravens broadcast.

* The term "dink-and-dime" doesn't mean anything. It's "dink-and-dunk" or "nickel-and-dime." Use some common sense, Mark Schlereth.

* Take your pick: Kerry Collins, Eli Manning, or Kurt Warner?

* If the Steelers win the Super Bowl, Bill Cowher will make the Hall of Fame some day.

* Statistically, San Diego has the weakest strength of schedule in the AFC.

Many of you know that I used to like ESPN's Sunday night announcing crew, especially Joe Theismann. My enthusiasm waned with time, but it's completely over now. I can't stand them any more. The guys simply cannot talk about someone without putting him in the Hall of Fame. Whoever plays in the game they're watching is the best at his position. It's sickening.

Mike Patrick just has no idea what he's talking about. Theismann, who sometimes still comes up with decent insights, is the worst offender in the hype game. His "analysis" consists more frequently of "Ray Lewis is really good!" than "look at how they set up this play." Paul Maguire is a mean-spirited hack who takes disagreement as a personal insult. His "analysis" consists of, once a game, telling us that someone "keeps his feet moving," and that doing so is very important.

Patrick and Maguire are entirely useless, but Theismann, in a different setting, might have potential. Focusing on hype rather than play, though, has dulled his senses. Take Jake Delhomme's end zone pass to Julius Peppers on Saturday night. Delhomme's pass led Peppers out of bounds, where he made an acrobatic catch, albeit one that didn't help his team. Theismann took the easy way out, blaming Delhomme for the pass.

I watched the replay, and Peppers -- a defensive end -- simply didn't run a good route. His pattern was up and out, but he basically just slanted toward the sideline. With his strength, Peppers should have shoved the DB off the line, run forward four or five yards, and then faded toward the corner, giving Delhomme enough room to throw his pass. It's the sort of play Theismann used to point out, but Peppers is a sacred cow, and seeing defensive players line up on offense is so exciting to the guys in the booth that they lose the ability to think rationally.

In fairness to the announcers, they were much better in the second half and overtime, feeding off the great game and the crowd's energy, but they're still best at shilling for their flying camera and awful "Wired" feature. On Sunday night, when everyone -- Theismann in particular -- was better than usual, Ed Reed's useless mic'd comments took precedence over a replay involving a personal foul.

We watch football because it's a great game. Useless fancy stuff like "Wired" detracts from the game's drama -- although not as much as Suzy Kolber interrupting Atlanta's victory celebration to ask Michael Vick pointless questions. ESPN's biggest flaw as sports network is that it doesn't believe its viewers really like sports.

Moving along to the power rankings, brackets show last week's rank.

1. Pittsburgh Steelers [3] -- If you stack the line to stop Jerome Bettis, Ben Roethlisberger will probably burn you downfield. But if you lay back to stop the big play, the Steelers will definitely nickel-and-dime you into submission. Shut down the running game, and you might have a chance.

2. New England Patriots [2] -- The loss on MNF dramatically impacts the AFC playoff picture. Pittsburgh only needs one more win to secure homefield advantage, so the Steelers can probably rest their starters in Week 17 ... against Buffalo. That could give the Bills the inside track to the final spot in the playoffs. Baltimore could also benefit, though, if the Steelers -- knowing they have a one-game margin of error -- ease up against the Ravens on Sunday. And if New England loses to the Jets, San Diego can get a first-round bye.

3. Philadelphia Eagles [1] -- Terrell Owens is out. If he plays again this season, which seems unlikely, it will be in the Super Bowl and at less than 100%. The Eagles will have to reach the big game without the help of their best receiver. Can they do it? Absolutely. The 2003 Eagles, sans Owens, were much better than the 2004 Falcons or Packers are. That 2003 team, like this year's version, was missing its best non-McNabb player in the NFC Championship Game (in 2003, it was Brian Westbrook).

What I worry about is the mental side of things. Philadelphia was so far above the rest of the NFC that there's no question the talent on the field is there. If someone like Atlanta brings its 'A' game, though, and the Eagles aren't mentally prepared, Andy Reid's team won't make the trip to Jacksonville. Reid has been badly out-coached in the last two NFC Championship Games, and he needs to have his team better-prepared this year. I still like Philly to represent the NFC on Super Bowl Sunday, but it's not a sure thing.

4. Indianapolis Colts [4] -- Dwight Freeney played one of the best games I've ever seen from a defensive end. In past columns, I've noted that "Freeney didn't make a play all game" and "isn't playing up to the hype." I also called him "vastly overrated" and wrote that he "makes about two really good plays a game, and just overruns all the others." Not against the Ravens. Jonathan Ogden has been the best offensive lineman in the NFL for half a decade, and Freeney had him rattled. Classy move by the Colts to take a knee at the end of the game.

5. San Diego Chargers [5] -- Their last loss, more than two months ago (Week 6), was at Atlanta by one point. With Drew Brees and Antonio Gates having established the passing game as a genuine threat, things are opening up for LaDainian Tomlinson again. This is a balanced team, strong on offense and defense, running and passing. Big kudos to CBS for showing the Denver/KC game, but frequently breaking in to show the Chargers scoring in the snow. Don't miss next week's matchup in Indianapolis.

6. Buffalo Bills [6] -- Scored 33 points in a game in which Drew Bledsoe completed only half his passes, the leading rusher had 30 yards, and Bledsoe was the only player to average more than three yards per rush attempt. How? With a +4 turnover margin that doesn't even include the blocked punt returned for a TD.

7. New York Jets [7] -- Clearly, a different team with Chad Pennington back under center. In the three games started by Quincy Carter, they went 2-1, beating Cleveland 10-7 and Arizona 13-3. It's hard to imagine the Jets winning on the road this postseason, but they're a very good team.

8. Atlanta Falcons [8] -- The end of their terrific Saturday night overtime win might have been played in the Georgia Dome, but the first three quarters took place at the Michael Vick School of Acting. In the first quarter, Vick took a dive and drew a 15-yard penalty on Carolina. Early in the second half, he was pushed out of bounds and stayed on the ground, apparently faking an injury to try for another penalty. Later in the game, when Vick repeatedly lay on the ground after getting hit, it was unclear whether he was really hurt or just crying wolf.

That said, Vick demonstrated again on Sunday why he is unique in the NFL. His arm strength is tremendous, but his skill and instincts as a runner are virtually unparalleled. He could line up at running back and he might not be Gale Sayers or Barry Sanders, but he'd probably come close. I detest empty backfields in all but the most obvious passing situations. Forcing defenses to acknowledge the possibility of a run frees things up in the passing game, and every team has an RB who can make catches out of the backfield. But Atlanta could go five-wide on every play, because defenses have to cover Vick as both a passing threat and a running threat. No other NFL team in the modern era has had that.

9. Carolina Panthers [10] -- If the Saturday night game against Atlanta wasn't the best this season, it was close. Muhsin Muhammad had a terrific game, and Carolina's offensive line deserves a lot of credit for giving Delhomme time against the fearsome Falcon pass rush. A win would have put Carolina in excellent position to make the postseason, but it still has a shot. And I think we can all agree that it's one of the six best teams in the NFC.

10. Baltimore Ravens [12] -- In the first half, the Ravens simply dominated the line of scrimmage. They were much more physical than the Colts, and it allowed them to dictate the game on both offense and defense; Indianapolis punter Hunter Smith kept the Colts in the game. In the second half, a few nice plays in a row created momentum for Indy. That momentum opened more opportunities, and the deal was sealed when Baltimore got called for illegal contact on two or three consecutive plays. Ray Lewis wisely -- and rather unethically -- halted a similar momentum-building drive in the first half by kneeling on the field with a wrist injury. I believe he really did sustain a minor injury, but a sprained wrist is not the sort of thing that leaves you unable to walk off the field. He just laid down to cool off the Colts. And it worked. Maybe he should have hurt his other wrist in the third quarter.

11. Jacksonville Jaguars [15] -- Ed Hochuli and his crew threw flags all over the place in their zeal for make-up calls. After a questionable play was ruled a Jaguars fumble, returned for a TD by the Packers, a slew of calls went Jacksonville's way. When the calls seemed uneven and the Jags had taken a lead, Hochuli evened things out a little by ejecting safety Donovin Darius for a clothesline that sent Robert Ferguson to the hospital. The hit was illegal and ugly, but it wasn't clear that Darius meant to injure Ferguson. The officials were way too involved in this game.

12. Green Bay Packers [9] -- Dan Dierdorf unintentionally made a prescient remark in the fourth quarter, with Green Bay driving and the Jags up by 10: "You'd have to be from Mars not to think Green Bay doesn't have a chance to win this game." If you take out the double-negatives, Dierdorf basically said that you'd be nuts to think the Packers could win, when he obviously meant the opposite. The very next play, though, Brett Favre threw an interception in the end zone, effectively ending Green Bay's chances. Spooky.

13. Cincinnati Bengals [11] -- The defense actually played pretty well against Buffalo, but Marvin Lewis' team has given up 142 points in the last four games, an average of 35.3.

14. Kansas City Chiefs [18] -- Have now won three games in a row, scored more than 30 points four games in a row, and allowed fewer than 20 points for the first time in eight games. Assuming San Diego rests its starters in Week 17, KC will probably finish .500.

15. Washington Redskins [16] -- The announcers praised 42-year-old OL Ray Brown for several minutes during the first half, but Brown has been the weakest link in Washington's awful offensive line all season. It isn't too hard to hold up against San Francisco's feeble pass rush, especially when the defense expects a run. Clinton Portis has already passed his previous high of 290 carries, and is on pace for 381. Entering this season, Portis' career average was 5.5 yards per attempt. This season, he's at 3.9. Ladell Betts is a capable runner, and he should be sharing more of the workload with Portis.

16. Houston Texans [17] -- Opened the season 4-3, with David Carr looking like he was finally ready to take his place among the game's best QBs. In those seven games, Carr threw for over 250 yards four times, and had four games with a passer rating over 100.0. In the seven games since, Houston is 2-5, and Carr has no games with 250 passing yards or a 100.0+ rating.

17. Tampa Bay Buccaneers [14] -- Sacked Aaron Brooks seven times and had a slight edge in almost every statistic kept by the league, but lost on turnovers and Aaron Stecker's freak kickoff return for a TD. None of the Bucs' best players are young, and this team needs a major rebuilding.

18. New Orleans Saints [23] -- Mathematically alive for the last wildcard in the NFC playoffs, but almost every tiebreaker that could come into play works against them. The Saints are playing well, and for the first time this season they're playing consistently, but it's too little, too late.

19. Denver Broncos [13] -- The Week 13 loss against San Diego really demoralized them. Denver plays without any confidence or cohesion, especially on offense. It's like half the guys have already mailed it in. If they make it to the playoffs, they'll just lose anyway. Why bother?

20. Oakland Raiders [25] -- This year's Raiders have not quit, but they have allowed more points than any other team in the NFL.

21. Miami Dolphins [28] -- MNF victory over New England makes it harder for Wayne Huizenga to hire Nick Saban. Jim Bates is doing very nicely as interim coach. Special teams were huge for Miami, as Wes Welker was great on returns, and Olindo Mare repeatedly trapped Patriots returners with good kickoffs.

22. Minnesota Vikings [21] -- Their dream of missing the playoffs probably ended with Don Mulbach's botched snap. The NFC makes me want to cry.

23. Seattle Seahawks [20] -- Seattle still has a vibrant music scene, but the trend has moved away from angst-ridden and depressing lyrics. Which is too bad, because that sort of thing would be totally appropriate for this year's Seahawks.

24. Dallas Cowboys [24] -- I hope Bill Parcells comes back next season, and I can't believe I just typed those words. Hating Parcells and hating the Cowboys are old hobbies of mine, but apparently I've mellowed. Frankly, so have Parcells and the Cowboys.

25. Detroit Lions [26] -- There is no more frustrating way to lose a game than by missing a game-tying PAT at the end of regulation. The look on Steve Mariucci's face said it all.

26. Arizona Cardinals [30] -- Actually have a winning record at home. I want Arizona to win the NFC West, because it would be funny.

27. St. Louis Rams [19] -- 5-1 against the NFC West, 1-7 against everyone else.

28. Tennessee Titans [22] -- Too many injuries to overcome. The offense believes in Billy Volek, but the defense gets shredded every week. In the last three games, opponents have averaged 46.7 points.

29. New York Giants [31] -- He did well against a very good Pittsburgh defense, but Eli Manning might be the most overrated quarterback in the NFL. Television commentators praise him for his last name and being the first pick in the draft, not the way he plays on the field.

30. Chicago Bears [27] -- Last in the NFL in points per game, yards per game, passing yards, passing TDs, TD-INT differential, completion percentage, yards per pass attempt, sacks allowed, and yards lost on sacks. Use the first two draft picks on offensive linemen, get a good WR in free agency, and hope Rex Grossman stays healthy next year.

31. San Francisco 49ers [32] -- The NFL has a PR disaster on its hands, and its name is John York. If he doesn't care about his team, why should anyone else?

32. Cleveland Browns [29] -- In Week 1, they beat Baltimore 20-3. Seriously.