NFL Week 13 Power Rankings

Five Quick Hits

* Did Paul Maguire really make fun of Joe Theismann's career-ending injury during the Sunday night telecast? Making fun of someone for being the victim of the most (in)famous, most horrific injury in league history is way over the line.

* After a play on Sunday, Derrick Brooks took off his helmet, threw it, and kicked it. Without drawing a penalty.

* I'm already out of superlatives for the Indianapolis offense, and this week, the defense got seven sacks. The Colts won by less than 30 for the first time in almost a month.

* On Sunday, Michael Vick reminded me a lot of Kordell Stewart in 1997.

* Eddie George is eating a towel.

2004 is the Year of the Quarterback. Peyton Manning, Daunte Culpepper, and Ben Roethlisberger are all making runs at the record books, and now Donovan McNabb has broken Joe Montana's record for consecutive completions.

McNabb had a career day against the Packers, throwing for 464 yards and 5 touchdowns. Good quarterbacks throw so many touchdowns, it's unrealistic to expect them to come up with original celebrations. They have to find a gimmick, and go with it. Culpepper has that rolling thing he does with his forearms. McNabb has his Michael Jackson tributes. I don't know why people are so down on McNabb's endzone celebrations. I never get tired of seeing the Thriller dance, and it's pretty impressive that he can moonwalk in cleats.

Football is a team sport, but more than ever, the game promotes individuals. It would be really nice to see someone like Manning or McNabb hold the Lombardi Trophy next February. Manning's offense looks unstoppable, but Philadelphia is on a roll, too. Since they lost to Pittsburgh a month ago, the Eagles have averaged 37.8 points per game.

Moving along to the power rankings, brackets show last week's rank.

1. New England Patriots [1] -- Tom Brady completed barely half of his passes and Corey Dillon only played half the game. So how did New England score 42 points, all in the first three quarters? Touchdowns from the defense and special teams helped. Kevin Faulk supplemented Dillon's 100 rushing yards with 87 of his own, mostly in the second half. And New England's defense didn't give anything to the Browns -- who scored 48 last week -- until a meaningless drive at the end of the game. The Patriots are a complete football team, and right now, no one is better.

2. Philadelphia Eagles [2] -- Green Bay over Philadelphia may have been this week's most popular upset pick. The Packers had won six games in a row, and "needed" a win more than the Eagles. So it's probably fair to say that Philadelphia sent a statement by going ahead 47-3 before sympathy calls from the officials and the mighty arm of Craig Nall combined to put some more points on the board for the visitors. A nation of football fans will be disappointed if anyone other than the Eagles represents the NFC in the Super Bowl.

3. Pittsburgh Steelers [3] -- Terrific game-ending drive by Ben Roethlisberger. 3-for-3, for 40 yards, in less than a minute and with no timeouts. Everyone is making a big deal about Peyton Manning's assault on the single-season TD record held by Dan Marino, and rightly so. But Roethlisberger has a good shot at two other Marino records: his rookie marks for completion percentage (58.4) and passer rating (96.0). Big Ben will almost certainly break the completion percentage record, but it's Marino's rookie passer rating mark that's really impressive. The only non-Marino rookie over 84 was Bill Walsh disciple Greg Cook, in 1969. In other words, Marino shattered the record, and no one has come close since. Sounds like his touchdown record, doesn't it? Roethlisberger's rating is ahead of Marino's right now, and this will probably come down to the final week of the season.

4. Indianapolis Colts [4] -- It's a little early to be looking ahead to next season, but that hasn't stopped people from speculating on the futures of Edgerrin James and Marvin Harrison. Today, I join those people. The Colts must keep both players. Harrison is Manning's go-to receiver, and the respect he gets from defenses frees up the rest of the receiving corps, while James has clearly re-established himself as one of the NFL's elite running backs. Indy's passing game thrives on playaction passes, and without James, those fakes would be far less effective. RBs like James and WRs like Harrison are extremely hard to come by. When you've got them, you don't let them go.

5. San Diego Chargers [5] -- On ESPN's pre-game show, Steve Young said of Drew Brees, "You keep waiting for the other shoe to drop, and it never does." That's exactly how I feel. I know Brees struggled against the Broncos, but his team won. Michael Irvin jumped all over Young for comparing Brees to Kurt Warner in 1999, but Warner isn't Otto Graham or Johnny Unitas. He was a flash in the pan. For now, I think it's a pretty good comparison. But San Diego isn't going to the Super Bowl.

6. Buffalo Bills [9] -- I can't imagine any team that doesn't already have a winning record in the AFC playoffs, so Buffalo, Jacksonville, and Cincinnati are out. I stubbornly insist that the Ravens and Broncos are fighting over that last wildcard.

7. Green Bay Packers [7] -- In recent years, Green Bay has gotten into the habit of digging its own grave. The further behind his team falls, the more Brett Favre tries to do everything by himself. Manning does the same thing. Marino used to do it, too. Sometimes it works. But more often, it results in interceptions and long incompletions. The last few years, this has been happening to Favre more often than it used to. Sunday's game was just one of those days.

8. New York Jets [10] -- Curtis Martin is having, at age 31, the best statistical season of his career. The Jets have a difficult schedule to close out the regular season, but if they go at least 2-2, they'll make the playoffs.

9. Atlanta Falcons [8] -- Opponents have actually outscored Atlanta by 10 points this season. The team's .750 record is a fraud. Of the six other teams at 9-3 or better, the Jets are closest to Atlanta, at +79. The Colts are at +168. In fact, since the NFL went to a 16-game schedule in 1978, no .750 team has finished worse than +44 (the Detroit Lions in 1991). Atlanta (-10) would be hard-pressed to catch that, needing to win by an average of almost 14 points per game for the rest of the season. The Falcons have won by 14 or more only twice all year, and never by more than 17.

10. Tampa Bay Buccaneers [16] -- Sunday's matchup in Tampa Bay looked more like a scrimmage. Atlanta was never in it, dominated from beginning to end. The Bucs are playoff contenders, but tiebreakers with most likely rivals work against them. For Tampa to get in, it will probably need to win all of its remaining games.

11. Cincinnati Bengals [13] -- First victory on the road against a winning team since 1990. It seems silly to complain about an offense that last week scored 58 and this week put up 27 points against the Ravens, tying Baltimore's season-high for points allowed. But the Bengals' offensive players are truly terrible tacklers. Did you see Chris McAllister's fumble return?

12. Denver Broncos [12] -- I don't believe that Mike Shanahan should be fired after this season, or that he will be, but the pressure is rising in Denver. If the Broncos miss the playoffs this year, Shanahan may be described as a "hot seat" coach entering the 2005 season.

13. Baltimore Ravens [6] -- An awful "excessive celebration" penalty wasn't enough to save them. Neither was another penalty on the subsequent drive, this one an illegal contact call that nullified a Ravens turnover. They even got a gift when Ed Reed was rewarded, rather than punished, for carrying the ball like people did 25 years ago. Anyone who's ever played organized football knows how to hold the ball, and Reed deliberately did it wrong. Predictably, gloriously, karmically, he fumbled. But teammate Chris McAllister picked it up on a bounce and scored a touchdown. None of that was enough to get Baltimore past the Bengals.

14. Carolina Panthers [21] -- Not to take anything away from Stephen Davis and DeShaun Foster, but the offense has really taken off with Nick Goings carrying the ball. Goings was nothing special in the past, so this isn't a case of injuries showcasing a hidden gem. Maybe I am taking something away from Davis and Foster.

15. Minnesota Vikings [11] -- Look at Minnesota's schedule. It's beaten medium-to-bad teams pretty consistently. Four of their five losses have been on the road, and three were against top-10 opponents. This is clearly a middle-of-the-road team. It beats bad teams and loses to good ones. With a challenging schedule to close out the season, that may not be enough to get the Vikings into the playoffs.

16. Jacksonville Jaguars [14] -- Three losses in a row, and the offense has been sputtering for weeks now. Jacksonville put up a good fight against the Steelers, and it's nice to see some spirit from a team that could have given up.

17. Houston Texans [15] -- Does it seem like this season I fixate on balance and consistency? It's because so few teams are displaying those characteristics. Look at who's doing well and why. If Houston's offense were more consistent, the team might still be in playoff contention.

18. Kansas City Chiefs [20] -- It's strange to remember that Eddie Kennison briefly retired a few years ago. Kennison had 149 yards and a touchdown on Sunday.

19. St. Louis Rams [18] -- As long as Mike Martz is coaching in St. Louis, the Rams will have a reputation as an offensive team. But they've only scored more than 30 points in a game once this season, and they needed overtime to do it.

20. Dallas Cowboys [26] -- A different team with Julius Jones back from injury. As recently as two weeks ago, the Cowboys were dead on their feet. Going through the motions instead of really playing to win. Now they believe they can win. As disheartening as it is that they almost gave the game away in the fourth quarter, it's equally encouraging that they made an inspired comeback at the end of the game.

21. Tennessee Titans [17] -- No team should ever allow more than 50 points, even against the Colts. And no team should ever allow seven sacks, especially against the Colts.

22. Washington Redskins [28] -- During this week's matchup against the Giants, Bill Maas called the best game I've heard all year. One play after another, he had something meaningful to say. I was awed. It's nice to see Ladell Betts getting some time on the field.

23. Oakland Raiders [24] -- Rough football season for the Bay Area. Oakland is 31st in point differential, at -94. Guess who's 32nd.

24. Seattle Seahawks [19] -- No team in the league, except maybe the Saints, plays with less heart than Seattle. The team is sufficiently talented that there are some games they're simply unable to lose, but the 'Hawks don't even look like they're trying. I'm normally pretty conservative about coach-firing, but I think it would be best for everyone involved if Mike Holmgren coached somewhere else next year. He can still coach, but not here. The Seahawks will be better without him, and some other team will probably be better with him.

25. Chicago Bears [30] -- Craig Krenzel was a hero for three weeks. Now Chad Hutchinson is going to lead the team to glory! And everyone in Chicago will get a free pony!

26. Detroit Lions [29] -- The secret to success in this league is playing against Arizona or San Francisco.

27. Cleveland Browns [23] -- Ranking this team is impossible. They've lost six games in a row, which normally indicates a very bad team. The problem is that all six of those games were against teams in my top 12: Philadelphia, Baltimore, Pittsburgh, the Jets, Cincinnati, and now New England. I wouldn't expect the 24th-best team to win any of those games; do the Browns belong somewhere around 24 because most of the games were close? I also wouldn't expect the 49ers to win any of those games; the Browns could be 31st. Barring an upset, this isn't going to get any easier over the next couple of weeks.

28. New Orleans Saints [27] -- The Saints and Dolphins are the only teams without any wins in their division.

29. Miami Dolphins [31] -- Probably should still be 31st, since the Cardinals and Giants have upside and could conceivably play well, while Miami isn't going to get any better. In this part of the list, though, playing with some heart is worth two spots.

30. Arizona Cardinals [22] -- Musical quarterbacks. Until all but one of them sit down, the Cardinals will keep losing.

31. New York Giants [25] -- The Eli Manning situation perpetuates itself. Each game they lose, it becomes more clear that he's not ready to be the starter. But if the Giants are out of playoff contention, people cry, he has to be the starter. The more games Manning plays, the more games he will play. It's cyclical.

32. San Francisco 49ers [32] -- My hobby is listening to music; San Francisco's hobby is losing by double digits. Opponents have outscored the Niners by a league-high 138 points this season. No other team is down by 100.