Blue moons, green clovers, pink hearts, purple horseshoes, red balloons, and yellow pots of gold are the key constituents of the delicious morning cereal Lucky Charms, but only boys aged from 3-5 and Barry Bonds would believe that these are the true ingredients of the breakfast.
With a little milk, the saccharine meal is pleasant to go down, but Barry Bonds' alibi for his role in the BALCO case is more arduous to swallow.
The San Francisco Chronicle reported that Bonds told a grand jury that he took steroids, arranged by his trainer, unconscious that the drops that he was placing under his tongue, and the balm that he was rubbing all over his body were in fact performance-enhancing drugs.
If you believe in magical leprechauns, and Bonds' explanation, then let me tell you about a certain maxim: ignorance of the law is no excuse.
While many of us would love to be oblivious to constraining rules, we are unable to wash our hands clean simply because "we didn't know."
If you drive 70 mph through a 50 mph zone, it does not suffice to argue that you were not aware of the speed limit. A fault was still committed and ignorance is not an excuse.
While his disregard does not displace the onus, there are a number of other factors that combat the Giant outfielder's credibility.
The current generation is more cognizant of ingested ingredients than ever before. Ten years ago, nobody questioned the contents of a mouth-watering McDonald's Big Mac and Burger King's 99-cent menu was our frugal friend. Nowadays, carbohydrates and trans fats have become the target of dietary witch-hunts, as consumer-made-nutritionists are frequently investigating the contents of every product.
As for medications, there was a time when pharmaceuticals were the cure for any ailments. Take one for the pain, and one for the side effects. After the Vioxx incident (and the FDA suggesting there may be other drugs which are similarly detrimental), most pill-poppers question the consequences and chemicals laced in every capsule.
And while droves of people raise their security alert level to "red" before placing anything in their mouths, Mr. Bonds claims he never second-guessed his trainer when he was told to intake drugs in this unorthodox fashion.
Yes Barry, I believe you. I believe that you are paranoid of your surroundings, yet a trusted individual gave you drugs that you drip under your tongue and smear on your body, and you never thought twice about it. I also believe that although you aged, you started to feel stronger after taking these substances, and while your batting statistics were augmenting with your graying body, you never stopped to wonder why this was happening. And although you didn't know these enhancers were illegal, you instinctively minimized your usage during the regular season when testing was a threat.
Bonds' defense is waning, but since the steroid regulations in baseball are as soggy as a Lucky Charm in milk, San Francisco's slugger need not concern himself with menial matters such as losing his revered records.
Lying to fans and going the way of Sammy Sosa also should not cause superfluous anxiety. Rather it is the possibility of perjury and going the way of Ken Caminiti that should weigh heavy on his mind.
Ignorance and iniquitousness mix like Mondays and me.
"I am not young enough to know everything." - Oscar Wilde
Leave a Comment