A T.O. to Kill

I loved that movie. You remember it? The flick centered around Carl Lee Hailey, on trial for his life, charged with killing the men who raped his little girl.

"A Time To Kill" starred Samuel L. Jackson as Carl Lee, Matthew McConaughey as Jake Brigance, and Sandra Bullock as Ro-Ark.

As much as I'd like to believe that the Terrell Owens fiasco is stirring controversy purely because of indecency, there is that nagging feeling that the interracial aspect of the skit may have some bearing.

Tony Dungy and a few others would like to have you believe that the skit was stereotypical of the black athlete with white women, but should one really read that much into it?

Let's say that there is nothing wrong with the skit itself and it was just a veiled promo spot for "Desperate Housewives." Whatever the purpose of the skit is, Nicollette Sheridan is going to remove her towel for someone on a football team.

I want you to name what star from the Dallas Cowboys or Philadelphia Eagles should have been in Owens' place.

Exactly.

You have two choices. Donovan McNabb or Owens. It would have been outright stupid to put Vinny Testaverde in there, wouldn't you say?

But, Testaverde is white so maybe we wouldn't be having this conversation if he had been the one standing in front of a nude Sheridan, right?

I can't answer that, because the fact remains that it was Owens in the racy skit. Owens is always in the middle of some type of controversy and it is always because of his own doing.

However, Owens is not to blame for the skit and I'm on his side this time.

I invite you to take a ride with me to a mock courtroom, where I will take the role of Jake Brigance, preparing to give that summation at the end of the trial that set Carl Lee Hailey free.

I hope it does the same for Terrell Owens.

The following is a parody of the real summation given in the movie.

"I want to tell you a story. I'm going to ask you all to close your eyes while I tell you the story. I want you to listen to me. I want you to listen to yourselves. Go ahead. Close your eyes, please."

"This is a story about a football player walking into a board room and being asked to film a promotion spot for Monday Night Football. I want you to picture this football player. Suddenly, at the beginning of a game, a skit comes up. That football player and a white woman are in a locker room. She is dressed only in her towel. They talk for a moment and she tells him she loves him."

"First, he rejects her and tries to continue to prepare himself for the game. In fact, he even tried to walk away. The woman suddenly does the unthinkable, shattering everything innocent and pure with a vicious thrust of removing her towel and letting it drop to the floor. And when she's done, after she's killed his will to play football, she jumps into his arms, stark naked and prevents him from playing in the game."

"But, that never really happened, you see. Lost in the fog of that skit, it may have been lost that the same football player went on to score three touchdowns, with three unique celebrations."

"After the first score, he pretended to skate in the end zone after, he faked an argument with McNabb, on the sideline, paying homage to their real confrontation from last week."

"The second was to mock his own infamous celebration as a San Francisco 49er and stood on the small star logo painted on a helmet in the end zone instead of the one at the 50-yard line."

"On the third, he simply dunked the ball over the goalpost."

"Not a very likable guy, is he? On top of that he's a black athlete and he's charged with making the skit, in which he's on trial for today."

"Can you see him?"

"His raped, beaten, broken body soaked in the urine of the FCC, soaked in the nations' prejudice, soaked in his blood, left to die."

"Can you see him?"

"I want you to picture that football player."

"Now imagine he's white."