Ten Radical Rule Changes For the NFL

It's not like football needs rule changes like other sports need them. Football is already number one when it comes to fan favoritism and enthusiasm. Hockey, for instance, needs fighting and volunteer barbarianism to keep its fans happy and the average sports Joe with one eye on the sport. Still, I believe that a sport, in the fans' interests, should continuously evolve; therefore keeping it from flat-lining as tennis or even baseball has at times.

As a football loyalist, I've seen as many rules changes in the NFL as Vinny Testaverde gaffs. Not to mention the "scabs" from the early-'80s players' strike, Howard Cosell's exodus, a 10-year string of bad Super Bores, and the rise and fall and rise of instant replay. So I've conjured up some necessary rule changes for football:

1. Allow players to take off their helmets.

Something happened in the mid-'90s. Football players began a trend after making outstanding plays, undoing their chin straps, plucking their helmets off and running around for the fans and the television cameras. I understand that basketball is one of the more marketable sports because the fan is so close to the action, and the players' faces are exposed. Football hit an all-time low when players began taking their helmets off when first downs were made from five yards away. Professional, college, and high school rule-makers began outlawing this form of celebration soon after.

At first, I felt this was a slap on the hand for a generation of star athletes who were trying to pave their own identities for showmanship. Now, I believe that if you are brave and stupid enough to take off your brain protector on the field of play, that any member of any team should be allowed to make helmet to bare head contact. Let the punishment fit the crime.

2. If you score the touchdown, you kick the point after.

I watched some rugby the other day, and noticed that the player who scored the "try" kicked the extra point. Let's face it. The name of the game is football, but the ball is only touched by two guys' feet the entire game, and it just so happens that these are the two guys that are not allowed to hang out with the rest of the team, and are a waste of perfectly useful football armor, with exception to Kevin Butler.

I would love to see Jerome Bettis or Randy Moss have to boot the ball through the uprights after a touchdown highlight. As for field goals, as my dad would say, get rid of them entirely, which leads to No. 3.

3. Get rid of field goals. Keep point-afters.

Just a thought.

4. Go back to leather helmets and pads.

I'm a really big fan of the throwback uniform. I remember in the mid-'90s when the NFL had its 75th anniversary season, and every team at one time or another wore a throwback uniform from the past. The Steelers wore their "bumblebees" from the '40s, the Rams wore their old yellow jerseys, and the Chargers wore their powder blue and bolts. Some teams even made permanent changes like the Jets and the Giants, going back to the old-school styles and sticking with it.

But let's face it -- this is a gladiator sport, and for all the collisions and brute force that are part of our game today, is there enough blood? Hockey blood is common and is very visible on the white ice. In baseball, the only blood detected in the last 50 years was in Curt Schilling's sock and for some-Roy Hobbs' torso when he smacked the Series winner fictionally. The million-dollar contracts that the average pro football player makes should be worth a good bleeding every now and then. Let's put them in leather! Now that's a throwback.

5. Move the field goals back up to the goal line.

It's just way cooler with more collisions.

6. Offer two points for slam-dunking the football over the crossbar after a score.

Speaks for itself. Tony Gonzalez would already have been the league's MVP for many years. Of course, this is football, so to defend this, you don't have to get "all ball". This would add a little excitement without having to deal with Terrell Owens' sharpie antics or Joe Horn's cellular calls. Imagine the Super Bowl ending on a ball that trickles atop the crossbar, coming up short because Plaxico Burress is undercut by two Ram defenders as time expires. Also, it would get men like Shaquille O' Neal and Yao Ming to become two-sport athletes, and guys like Chris Webber and Kobe Bryant to get hit.

7. Don't suspend players who violate the NFL drug policies. Make them head linesman.

Donating their services to the game is a lot like community service, so why have them sitting at home or at a nightclub when they could be part of the officiating crew? Just imagine Jamal Lewis in stripes, and Mike Holmgren stewing over a bad call on the sidelines and asking the same old question that coaches ask many head linesman: "Are you on drugs?!" At that time, the coach will understand the silliness of his verse, and refocus on the task at hand: coaching.

8. Get rid of "roughing the passer" and any other rules meant to alienate quarterbacks from being real football tough guys.

There are some quarterbacks who are embarrassed to have such rules. Tough-guy QBs such as Brett Favre, Steve McNair, and Ben Roethlisberger would rather be treated as equals when it comes to rules of protection. Some quarterbacks need protection, and would surely wilt without the "roughing the passer" penalty. We won't mention any names. Yet, the game needs finesse passers who would rather take a knee or do the quarterback slide, which makes it illegal for anyone to even think about hitting him.

Solution: a quarterback may wear a skirt, preferably of the team's color, to activate all rules protecting the quarterback while the skirt is on. It also makes it more clear to the defense, who would probably lay off of anyone wearing a skirt. Probably.

9. Power play.

Football is a rough sport, like hockey, and too many infractions means that there's too much cheating going on out there. Penalty flags are flying all over the place, especially in Oakland. Over the years, it seems that football players seldom learn, and that the penalty must be harsh. I like how hockey takes a player out of the game for breaking the rules -- a "timeout" of sorts. Football players here need to sit out a play or two and watch their compadres deal with one less man.

10. Put the coach in uniform with pads and helmet.

Not because baseball has the coaching staffs dressing like they are going to play. This is strictly for safety purposes. I don't want the NFL to be reactionary when one day, a 250-pound fullback rams into a 67-year-old coach on the sideline, breaking his ribs and sending him into a trance, only for the league to create rule No. 10. Let's change the rule before it's too late. Suit up, coach!