NFL Weekly Predictions: Week 8

Note: The quotes in this article are fictional.

Arizona @ Buffalo

When you hear the name "Neil Rackers", you immediately think, "I bet this guy is serving hard time at Riker's Island." When you hear the name "Emmitt Smith," you immediately think of the famous football player, unless you know another Emmitt Smith serving time at Riker's Island, or some other correctional facility. But what do these two names have in common? For starters, they are both NFL record holders. And here's the kicker: they both play for the Arizona Cardinals.

"They do?" asks Cardinal coach Dennis Green. "I'm familiar with this Emmitt fellow, but who is this Rackers guy? Sounds like a guy who's serving hard time at Riker's Island. I swear I've never met him in my life. So, what did he do for the record books?"

Well, Dennis, he tied a record with three field goals of 50 or more yards.

"Shoot, I didn't know they kept stats on that stuff. Congratulations, Neil."

"Thanks, Coach. Neil Rackers. It's a pleasure to meet you."

On a side note, Emmitt Smith rushed for his 78th 100-yard game, breaking the record of 77 he shared with Walter Payton. I know that doesn't compare to three 50-yard field goals in one game, but I thought I'd mention it.

In Buffalo, it's business as usual -- losing.

"Just don't blame the defense, man," urges Bill linebacker Takeo Spikes. "We're holding offenses to 17 or 18 points a game, but, as a defense, we're only responsible for about seven of that. The offense gives up the other 10 or 11, with the interceptions, fumbles, three and outs, missed blocks, bad patterns, bad throws, bad play calling, and just general incompetence. And, oh yeah, bad coaching."

The Buffalo and Arizona defenses will keep this one tight and low scoring. You'd probably see more offense in a Manchester United-Arsenal English Premier League soccer contest, as well as more brutality in the stands than you will on the Ralph Wilson Stadium field.

The Bills' defense make the plays when it counts, which is right after their offense turns it over.

Buffalo wins, 16-13.

Cincinnati @ Tennessee

"Wow. I'm really sympathetic to the plight of Steve McNair," Bengal boss Marvin Lewis comments. "I mean, damn, the man has suffered two bruised sternums in the span of one month. That sucks. Most players go their entire careers without hurting either one of their sternums. I know his two bruised sternums must be incredibly painful, but if anyone can return after having two simultaneously injured sternums, it would be Steve McNair."

Uh, Marvin, I'm not a doctor, but I think the human body has only one sternum. I think it's also called the breastplate.

"Breastplate?" asks Lewis. "Why would they name a human body part after the No. 3 combo meal at KFC? That comes with the breast, a leg, two delicious sides, and a beverage, by the way. Hi, Colonel. Now, there are two breasts in a chicken, so they must have two breastplates. And I know chickens and humans are practically brother and sister evolutionarily speaking, so humans, therefore, must have two breastplates, as well."

Okay, I must hand it to you, Marvin, you've convinced me. Now I understand how you can convince your Bengals that they are going to win every week. By the way, I just realized I have 62 ribs, gills, and two antennae.

For real, though, injuries are taking more of a toll on McNair. At age 31, McNair is downright elderly in football terms. And if McNair can't go Sunday, he will be replaced by Billy Volek, who's served the Titans well in other instances of McNair injuries.

"I know Billy probably has fewer completions than Steve has injuries," Titan coach Jeff Fisher comment, "but in this case, he has something Steve does not: healthy, un-bruised sternums. Billy also has moxie, as well as savvy, but I think we can treat those with ointment, so he'll be good to go."

Volek comes through, throwing two touchdown passes, and Chris Brown rushes for another as Tennessee holds off the Bengals, winning 24-20.

Green Bay @ Washington

The Packers are back in the thick of the early playoff picture, having won two straight after being 1-4. Still, though, they are three games behind the Vikings in the loss column.

"We can't worry about the Vikings," Brett Favre explains, "nor can we worry about the Lions, who are also ahead of us. We just have to play Packer ball, which is 25 touches for Ahman Green and a couple of bombs from me to Donald Driver or Javon Walker. Like my drives off the tee, the Vikings will fade, just like they did last year. That, coupled with another timely injury that I can heroically play through, and Green Bay is set for a magical playoff run."

Well said, Brett. Still feeling any effects from that concussion a few weeks ago?

"What concussion?"

Exactly. Favre's newest injury is a "sprained" hand, which, one would think, he suffered as a result of throwing the football 60 mph.

"Oh, no," explains Favre, "I got that from unbuckling and buckling my chin strap after every play. I have a chin strap fetish and I'm compulsive about that, almost as compulsive as I am about my pain medication."

In Washington, coach Joe Gibbs is slowly working the NASCAR out of his system. But there are still relapses. Nowhere is that more evident than in conditioning drills.

"Yeah, Coach likes us to qualify for wind sprints," explains wide receiver Rod Gardner. "Then he lines us up in rows of two, fastest to slowest, and we run. I'm not the greatest of qualifiers, but I tinker with the setup before we start, and I usually can make a top-10 run. Oh yeah, the winner gets to drink water first. Coach calls that 'The Chase For the Cup.'"

Sunday's game is basically the Redskins' Clinton Portis dueling the Packers' Green. Whichever of these backs rushes for the most yards and minimizes his fumbles will determine the winner. I'll go with Green, simply because that is the color of money and mine is on the Packers.

Green Bay wins, 23-16.

Jacksonville @ Houston

"Her name is Rio and she dances on the sand," sings Jag head coach Jack Del Rio. "Just like that river twisting through the dusty land, and when she shines she really shows you all she can ... oh, hi. Was that out loud?"

Yes, Jack Del Rio, it was. First of all, I never thought I would catch you singing. Second of all, if I caught you singing, I never would have guessed it would be to Duran Duran. You seem like more of an AC/DC or Pantera kind of guy.

"Just feeling a little giddy, my friend. We're 5-2, sitting atop the AFC South, but we're not satisfied. We're still hungry like the wolf. And just for the record, never base a man's manhood on his affinity for Duran Duran. Would you like a massage?"

No thanks, Jack Del Rio. But I do have to hand it to you. That was some magnificent coaching last Sunday in Indy. That win should go a long way in determining the division champ, provided you don't finish 8-8.

The Texans are returning after a bye week, a week in which they watched in agony as their baseball companions the Astros lost a heartbreaking NLCS seven-game series to the Cardinals.

"Man, screw the Astros," rants Texan monster wide receiver Andre Johnson. "They lost four games in about a week. That's embarrassing. It usually takes us at least eight weeks to lose four. I got no love for the Astros. I'm ready for basketball season and the Rockets. T-Mac, where you at!?"

"It's just that type of lack of attention to detail that keeps Andre from becoming a superstar," complains Texans coach Dom Capers. "Here we are in the middle of a division race and he's talking about basketball. But it is nice to have Tracy McGrady on the court with Yao Ming. This could be their year."

Johnson does his part for the Texans, with 110 receiving yards and a touchdown, but Fred Taylor leads the Jags to the win with 135 on the ground and a touchdown. Byron Leftwich adds another through the air.

Jacksonville strengthens their AFC South grip with a 29-20 win.

Indianapolis @ Kansas City

"Interesting fact, here," reports Chief coach Dick Vermeil, "If we would have been listed as 45-point favorites in Vegas for the Falcon game last week, you could have bet on us and we would have covered. For the laymen out there, that means we won by more than 45, 46 to be exact. And we rushed for eight touchdowns in the game. That's an NFL record."

Yeah, Dick, and I bet it's the first time a team won by 46 to move it's record to 2-4.

Four of those rushing touchdowns were scored by Priest Holmes, the second time in his career he's rushed for four in one game.

"Yeah, and I could have had more than four," complains Holmes, "but we had to give the ball to Derrick Blaylock to keep him happy. He's just like his brother Mookie was in the NBA -- a ball hog. But Mookie did have one thing going for him: 'Mookie Blaylock' was the original name of the band 'Pearl Jam.' That is so cool. I think I'll start telling everyone that 'Metallica' used to be known as 'Priest Holmes.'"

Priest, if you wait about 10 years, I bet there will be a band called 'Priest Holmes.'

Things aren't so lighthearted in Indianapolis. Towards the end of the Jacksonville game, you may have seen Colts wide receiver Reggie Wayne shove Peyton Manning after Manning said something to him. I'm just an amateur lip reader, but Manning either said, "Don't break your patterns" or, "I know you're sleeping with my girlfriend, so stop it, or I'll break up with her."

"There's nothing to worry about," explains Tony Dungy. "I've diffused the situation. I sent both Peyton and Reggie to neutral corners and asked them to draw a picture of what they are feeling. That as opposed to just having them duke it out like real men because I know Peyton would get his ass whipped. You don't want to scrap with an ex-Miami Hurricane."

Good move, Tony. Manning and Wayne work out their differences, or it at least looks that way when Manning finds Wayne early for a 25-yard touchdown. It's the first of many touchdowns by both teams. Holmes toughs out the pain of his sprained ankle and rushes for 130 yards and two TDs. Edgerrin James nearly matches Holmes' day with 125 and a score, but the difference is Peyton Manning, who makes all the throws and finds the end zone three times. Trent Green and the Chief passing game cannot keep up.

Colts win, 33-24.

Detroit @ Dallas

"It's coaches like Steve Mariucci that I hate," complains Bill Parcells. "You know, young, brash, Italian, with a better record than my team. And I bet his players even like him. But I'll get over it, thanks to the soothing Christmas tunes sung by American Idol reject William Hung on his new CD, Hung For the Holidays. I recommend this to any coach whose team is 2-4 with little improvement in sight."

If it's the voice of William Hung that brings you out of the doldrums, Bill, then you must really be in ill spirits. But I can understand (not why you like William Hung, but why you're concerned about your team). With the injury to Terry Glenn, the Cowboys are down basically to two receivers, Keyshawn Johnson and Quincy Morgan, and Morgan is nursing a sore hamstring. This puts even more pressure on Cowboy elder statesmen Vinny Testaverde and Eddie George.

"Look, I can't get vertical on the basketball court; I got no hops," explains Testaverde. "And I'm damn sure too old to get horizontal with the ladies. That leaves going vertical on the football field, and with our receiving corps in the state it's in, I can hardly even do that. I might have to start throwing to Eddie, and his yards per catch average is almost as bad as his yards per rush average."

Things are much brighter for Detroit. The Lions are 4-2, and the Joey Harrington to Roy Williams combination returned last week after Williams missed a week with a sprained ankle. And the Lions have found somewhat of a running game lately with the combination of Kevin Jones, Artose Pinner, and Shawn Bryson. That offense should be enough to propel the Lions to a tough 23-21 win over Dallas.

Baltimore @ Philadelphia

"Whew! That was close!" exclaims Terrell Owens.

What T.O., the Eagles' 37-34 overtime win over the Browns last week?

"Naw, man. I had to run by Jeff Garcia as I was leaving the field. We almost touched shoulder pads. Yuck!"

Well, Terrell, you could have been a man, shook Garcia's hand, and told him, "no hard feelings."

"No thanks, pal," adds Owens. "If mentioning the words 'hard feelings' to Jeff Garcia makes me a man, then I'll gladly remain a non-man, which is what I am. Anyway, Garcia is the least of my worries. I've got the Ravens to deal with; I'm sure they all want a shot at me since I refused to play for them."

Yes, Owens did nix a trade to the Ravens, and it looks like it was the best decision of his life. Let's see. Who would Owens rather have throwing him the ball? Donovan McNabb or Kyle Boller? Well, Owens already has eight touchdown receptions in only six games.

"That's right, man," adds Donovan McNabb, "eight. I think that number's slightly higher than Boller's passer rating. And can you imagine the fireworks, with Terrell's temper and Boller's inability to throw TDs to anyone, had T.O. gone to Baltimore? I think somebody would've got cut."

Boller's luckiest move was being drafted by the Ravens, where his job as quarterback is to hand the ball to running backs and eliminate turnovers, then sit and cheer on the Ravens' defense and special teams.

"And don't forget," coach Brian Billick reminds us, "Kyle has to pick up the team's dry cleaning on Tuesdays."

And I bet he screws that up, too.

Anyway, all of the pressure is on Boller. Jamal Lewis is still under drug suspension and All-Pro offensive lineman Jonathan Ogden will not play because of an injured hamstring. So Boller will have to throw, and the only throwing he's good at is up, especially when the pressure's on. Boller blows chunks, throws two interceptions, and once again, the Raven defense is asked to do way too much. McNabb connects with Owens for a touchdown. Owens celebrates by placing the ball in a trick or treat bag removed from his pants. Eagles remain undefeated, 23-14.

N.Y. Giants @ Minnesota

"You know, dog," explains Randy Moss, "I'm Randy Moss. I've always been Randy Moss for Halloween. But this year, it's time for a change. I've got three ideas; let me run 'em by you."

Okay, shoot, dog.

"Aaaiight. First, I could be Jason Voorhees of Friday the 13th movie fame. I've always wanted to put on an old-school hockey mask and terrorize the teenagers of Camp Crystal Meth. That would be fun. Or I could pose as Terrell Owens and call myself "The Creature From the Wack Lagoon." Terrell is wack. Or, I could dress as a character I created, DJ Mad Skillz, host of Spike TV's new show, Pimp My Momma('s Ride)."

All of those are fine outfits, Randy, but be careful, too much chocolate and/or too much running from the law can aggravate a pulled hamstring, so watch your intake of M&M's and don't run over any parking attendants.

In Giants' camp, it's not much fun the week after a loss.

"Tell me about it, chief," says Giants wideout Amani Toomer. "It's like boot camp. Who else but Coughlin would make us navigate barbed wire in drills? And if I hear him say 'What is your major malfunction, numnuts!' one more time, I might just have to slap him. Hey, and in the future, when you refer to me, could you call me 'Well-Dressed' Amani Toomer like my man Chris Berman does?"

Indeed, Coughlin has been working the Giants' tails off in preparation for one of their toughest games to date. Vikings head coach Mike Tice, on the other hand, is worried less about Minnesota's opponent and more about a Viking letdown.

"I'm not concerned about the one-game letdown, per se," Tice explains. "It's those six-game letdowns that really kill, like it did last year when we folded like a cheap lawn chair down the stretch."

The only folding done by the Vikings Sunday is by Onterrio Smith when he rolls the first of many joints. The Vikings stay hot, and Moss introduces his best Halloween costume yet when he beats cornerback Will Allen for a short, first quarter TD catch.

"I'm jelly! You're toast, fool!"

Vikings win, 26-17.

Atlanta @ Denver

If the devil went down to Georgia, looking for a soul to steal, and were he in a bind and way behind and looking to make a deal, he might want to head on over to Atlanta and scout the Falcons. After getting the hell beat out of them, 56-10, by the Chiefs, I'm sure several of the Falcon players and coaches would be willing to part with their souls for very little.

The devil could start with any member of the defense, which previously led the NFL in rush defense before surrendering 271 yards in the ground to the Chiefs last Sunday. If he found no takers there, he could try Michael Vick, who, dare I say it, may be the weakest link right now for the Falcons. If Vick balks at selling his soul, the the devil may have to settle for challenging Johnny to a fiddle-playing contest for Johnny's soul. "So, Johnny, you resin' up that bow and play your fiddle hard, 'cause Hell's broke loose in Georgia and the devil deals it hard, and if you win, you get this..."

"Man, enough with the Charlie Daniels' Band," says Denver quarterback Jake Plummer. "If you want to talk Daniels, let's make it Jack, straight-up, on the rocks. And enough about the Falcons. Let's talk about the Broncos. We're 5-2, and even though we just got blasted last Monday by the Bengals, we're tops in our division."

Right, Jake, you are tops in your division, just like the Falcons. And just like the Falcons, the Broncos are a team whose weaknesses can be easily exposed and exploited.

"Like I said, we're 5-2, man," counters Plummer. "What weaknesses do we have?"

Well, let's see. You have a great running game. Your kicker is awesome. Your receivers are decent. The defense is top-five. Oh, a weakness! That would be your ability to lead a team to the Super Bowl, Jake Plummer!

"Tell me something I don't know, brother," Plummer replies. "Everyone knows that the only quarterbacks to lead Denver to the Super Bowl are John Elway and Craig Morton. Since it's clear I'm no Elway, I can only aspire to emulate Morton, as sad as that seems."

Aim high, Jake!

It's high, all right. Mile High, site of Invesco Field, where the Broncos and Reuben Droughns pound out a 27-13 win over the Falcons. Droughns breaks 100 yards for the fourth-straight game, then enjoys a corned beef and sauerkraut on rye sandwich.

Carolina @ Seattle

Seattle head coach Mike Holmgren is not happy. A month ago, the Seahawks were looking like contenders, 3-0 and dominating.

"Now, we look like pretenders," Holmgren explains. "And I don't just mean any pretenders. I'm talking about The Pretenders. You know, Chrissie Hynde and her band? What I'm saying is that if The Pretenders suited up and met us on the football field, they would whip us."

So, what are you going to do about it, Coach?

"Well, for starters," adds Holmgren, "I'm not going to schedule The Pretenders in a scrimmage. Second, since we are already in the Emerald City, I plan on taking my players for a walk down the Yellow Brick Road. Upon finding the Great and Powerful Oz, I will have my players ask him for hearts, guts, and balls, which they all seem to be lacking. Then, after fending off some flying monkeys, we will hopefully be able to beat the Panthers."

That sounds reasonable to me Coach Holmgren. How about you, Coach Fox?

"It's sounds about as reasonable as last year's NFC Super Bowl representative sporting a 1-5 record the following year," explains Fox. "Losing to the Seahawks and dropping to 1-6 would be painful, but that would be tempered by the sight of flying monkeys. I'd also like to see that Lollipop Guild perform."

Well, the Panthers do fall to 1-6, but Coach Fox sees no flying monkeys nor Lollipop Guild. He does, however, wake up the next day in Kansas with a concussion, a massive hangover, and a pair of ruby red slippers adorning his feet. Shaun Alexander rushes for 109 yards and records a receiving TD as the Seahawks win, 24-7.

New England @ Pittsburgh

Are the Steelers running some kind of Samoan pipeline from the great Pacific island to the Steel City?

"Man, don't even start with that," argues Pittsburgh coach Bill Cowher. "Those immigration violation charges were dropped years ago."

No, Mr. Bill, I'm talking about the fact that Pittsburgh has been home to two of the latest Samoan players in the NFL. First, there was Chris Fuamatu Ma'afala, who's now with Jacksonville. Now, you've got a dude named Troy Polamalu on your team.

"Oh, I see what you're saying," says Cowher. "You see, it's always nice to have no more than one Samoan one your team. That way, you, and everyone, can refer to him as 'that Samoan guy'. That's much easier than saying Fuamatu Ma'afala or Polamalu. Isn't it cool how you can always spot the Samoan guy by his hair popping out of his helmet? Man, how do they even get their helmets on over that hair?!"

You are so right, Bill. And another thing: why can't these guys from the great Pacific island of Samoa have first names to match their last names? If your last name is Fuamatu Ma'afala or Polamalu, shouldn't your first name be something like 'El Debarge' or 'Katmandu' instead of plain old 'Chris' or 'Troy'? I'll keep that comment to myself, since the last thing I want to do is piss off a Samaon football player.

But let's play ball.

You can expect the Patriots to show Steeler rookie QB Ben Roethlisberger a mix of blitz packages and disguised coverages, as well as a lot of movement on the defensive line with the intention of confusing Roethlisberger. If that sounds like professional analysis, it's supposed to. Anyway, I think it means that New England plans on stopping the run completely and forcing Roethlisberger to beat them with the pass. I think this plays right into the hands of the Steelers. But there's an important factor that plays into the hands of the Patriots: Bill Cowher coaches the Steelers.

"Not only can I coach circles around Cowher," Bill Bellichick says, "but if I played Tic-Tac-Toe with Cowher, I would fill in all the squares myself, because Cowher doesn't know jack about X's and O's. When he plays Tic-Tac-Toe by himself, the Cat always wins."

New England keeps the streak alive, despite a valiant effort from Roethlisberger. Tom Brady throws one touchdown, and Adam Viniateri kicks four field goals.

The Patriots win, 26-17.

Oakland @ San Diego

"I've got a great idea for a Halloween costume," a giddy Marty Schottenheimer squeals. "Check this out. Sometimes, the Chargers are referred to as the 'Bolts', you know, for the lightning bolts on our helmets. I was thinking that if I dressed up as a 'bolt,' then I could get someone else to pose as 'nuts,' then together, we would be 'Nuts and Bolts.' Any takers?"

"Uh ... none, Coach," replies backup quarterback Doug Flutie, slowly backing away from Schottenheimer. "I seem to recall Jack Tripper teaming with Chrissy and Janet to form that very costume on an episode of the hilarious '70s sitcom Three's Company. I appreciate the offer, though. I think I'm going as legendary actor and short man Dudley Moore."

"Hey, we'll both be hanging '10,'" chuckles Schottenheimer.

You can't fault Schottenheimer for his good sprits. The Chargers are 4-3 and only one game behind the Broncos in the West.

"You're right," Schottenheimer agrees. "We have just as much right as the Broncos to win this division, then, in January, go to ice cold Foxborough and get slammed by the Patriots in the playoffs."

In Oakland, coach Norv Turner has that perpetual pained look on his face, just like the one he sported in Washington as head coach and Miami as offensive coordinator.

"Hey, bud," Turner responds, "you'd have a pained expression, too, if you had to answer to people dressed as Darth Vader."

Norv, you don't have to answer to the fans.

"Fans? Fans? I'm talking about Al Davis. He's wearing one of those crazy costumes now. And he sounds like James Earl Jones now."

That's brutal. Norv, you should get out before they show you the door one second after the Raiders' final game.

Turner doesn't take heed, and watches helplessly as Oakland suffers its sixth defeat. Drew Brees throws two TD passes, one to LaDainian Tomlinson, who also rushes for 90 yards and a touchdown.

San Diego stays one game behind the Broncos with a 27-20 win.

San Francisco @ Chicago

This contest promises to be a meeting of epic proportions, much like the proverbial movable object challenging the resistible force.

"Don't you mean 'immovable object' and 'irresistible force?'" asks 49er head coach Dennis Erickson.

No, Dennis, I don't. Your 49ers, as well as Lovie Smith's Bears, are 1-5. The only things "immovable" are the San Fran and Chicago offenses, and the urge to make fun of that is "irresistible."

"That's clever, you bastard," whines Erickson. "Don't forget, I've won a national championship at Miami."

Oh, I haven't forgotten, Dennis, I just don't care. Any coach worth his salt who's won a national championship has remained in the college ranks and won more. Those not worth their salt, like, for example, Steve Spurrier and you, come to the pros and prove to us all why college coaches can't hang in the NFL. As former maverick NFL coach Jerry Glanville put it, NFL stands for "Not For Long" when you are 1-5. By the way, San Francisco's BCS ranking is .000000458.

"Hey, that sounds good enough for a December 1st bowl game," notes Erickson.

And it should be good enough to lead you to a win over the Bears. Tim Rattay throws two touchdowns and Kevan Barlow rushes for one. The Bears platoon quarterbacks Jonathan Quinn and Craig Krenzel, to no avail.

49ers win, 21-13.

Miami @ N.Y. Jets

So, Dave Wannstedt, you just beat the Rams for your first win of the season. What are you going to do?

"Well, I'll be dad gummed if I'm going to Disneyland when Disney World is just up the road," says Wannstedt. "I think instead I'll just get "1" tattooed on my shoulder. I shouldn't have to make any alterations to that for the rest of the year."

And while you're at the tattoo parlor, Dave, why don't you just have "Kick Me" tattooed on your back? I'm tired of wasting paper and Scotch tape on that.

In New York, the Jets are recovering from a tough loss to the Patriots.

"But we gave them their toughest game of the year," Herman Edwards comments. "We took them to the limit, to the wall, and we were only one play away from beating them. We'll get another shot at them, maybe two. My guys will stay motivated; I'll make sure of that."

After the Jets take the opening drive and cash in with a John Hall field goal, Edwards takes a microphone, runs to midfield, and addresses the crowd.

"I know it's been a tough week for New Yorkers, but, unlike the Yankees, we're not going to blow this 3-0 lead. But the Yankees are here today, so I'm going to bring them out. Let's give them a real New York welcome."

Saying that, Edwards sprints to the safety of the sideline, and the Yankees are indeed given a New York welcome: they are pelted with beer bottles, coins, batteries, pieces of the crumbling Meadowlands, and, in some cases, artificial limbs. A few fans breach security and attempt to assault members of the Yankees, but most are beaten to a pulp.

Former Yankee coach Don Zimmer is surprisingly feisty, vowing to "pummel anyone who remotely resembles Red Sox pitcher Pedro Martinez." That results in Zimmer being beaten down by his own player, pitcher Mariano Rivera. Manager Joe Torre suffers a concussion after being kicked in the head my some madman known as "Crazy" Joe Duvolla.

After the Yankees are chased from the field, the Jets pad their lead with a Curtis Martin touchdown in the second quarter. New York blows the shutout when John Abraham hangs a slider to Olindo Mare, which Mare muscles over the crossbar for a three-run homer, I'm sorry, field goal.

The Jets maintain a safe lead all day and rebound from the New England loss with a 20-6 win.