I'm on to you, Bob Stoops. I've got your little scheme all figured out.
You're just a figurehead, the frontman for a puppet regime headed by former Oklahoma coach Barry Switzer, he of the three national championships and "three yards and a cloud of dust" philosophy.
This has to be true. It's the only plausible explanation for the numbers put up by the Sooners' formerly pass-happy offense Saturday against Texas.
Stoops' high-powered offense, the same one that averaged nearly 300 yards passing last season, suddenly looks a lot more like Switzer's attacks that averaged more than 300 yards rushing in their 1970s heyday.
In its 12-0 victory over the rival Longhorns, Oklahoma barely crept over the 100-yard mark in the passing column. But the Sooners more than made up for it with the ground game, gobbling up 301 yards on 52 attempts.
What accounts for the change? Could Switzer really be hiding in an underground bunker watching the action on 27 television monitors and relaying commands to the sideline?
Yeah, probably not.
The real answer isn't hiding anywhere. He's on the field, and he's making opposing defenders wish they could be the ones hiding in Switzer's bunker.
Adrian Peterson is making Oklahoma into a smashmouth football team.
The true freshman from Palestine, Texas torched the Long Horns Saturday for 225 yards on 32 carries. He pushed his way through the line. He bowled over defensive backs. He made people miss. He got the corner on nearly every toss-sweep play and never got taken down by the first would-be tackler.
And in doing so, Adrian Peterson made Bob Stoops look like a genius.
Some coaches don't adjust to the talent they have. They stick with their systems and make the players fit.
But not Bob Stoops. When he saw what Peterson could do, he probably threw his playbook in the trashcan. You don't need too much variety when you can hand it to a 6-foot-2, 210-pound man-child and be guaranteed five yards every time.
Credit Stoops for recognizing that giving the ball to Peterson early and often makes the Sooners a far better team. Remember, this is the man who shocked the Sooner faithful in his first year as head coach when his team averaged 104 yards rushing per game. This is the man who made Josh Heupel look like Joe Montana and helped Jason White win the Heisman trophy.
It couldn't have been too easy to scrap a strategy that had been his bread and butter. But easy or not, Peterson is proving that it was the right move.
In his first five games, Peterson has crossed the 100-yard barrier each time. And he's given the Sooners something they've never had in the Stoops era -- a bona-fide work horse with the ability to dominate a game.
Make no mistake; the Sooners have had good running backs under Stoops. Quentin Griffin helped OU win the national championship in 2000 and is now a starter in the NFL. And Kejuan Jones, the incumbent at running back coming into this season, did rush for 925 yards last season.
But Peterson is different. He's big, he's fast, and he has great vision. He's the total package.
The Texas coaches knew it even before they saw him trample their defense Saturday. Mack Brown and company recruited Peterson. They recruited him hard. They've always wanted to keep in-state talent in state. And when it came to talent, Peterson was head and shoulders above the rest. He rushed for 2,960 yards in his senior season at Palestine High School. He was a consensus All-American, and his physical gifts made coaches drool -- a 4.4 40-yard dash time and a bench press of 295 pounds.
But Peterson spurned the Longhorns. He watched last year's Red River Shootout from the stands and saw Oklahoma thrash Texas 65-13. That undoubtedly had an impact on his college choice.
Stoops had to be smiling when Peterson committed. He not only saw the talent, he saw what it could mean for his team.
Last season, the high-octane Sooners tired as the year went on. White felt the effects of throwing the ball 34 times a game. The running game disappeared in a loss to Kansas State and the Sugar Bowl loss to LSU.
Stoops knew he couldn't let that happen again. Peterson ensures it won't. When you have a running back of his caliber, you don't need to throw the ball 34 times every game and you don't have to settle for being one-dimensional.
So while the 2004 Sooners might not post the spectacular offensive numbers of years past, they'll be better for it. They just might be the best team in the country.
Oklahoma could still revert back to its old ways. Some defense might shut Peterson down. Teams might start putting more men in the box, leaving their cornerbacks on an island. In that case, the Stoops and the Sooners can go back to what they've always done.
Although I suspect Mr. Switzer wouldn't be happy about that.
When I find the bunker, I'll be sure to ask him.
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