USA Basketball: Five Reasons We Stink

Every night, I fall asleep to the hysterical voices of sports analysts explaining why USA basketball is doomed. Every explanation is different. None of them make the 20-point loss to Puerto Rico go away. But for the sake of sanity, l wanted to try to get a grip on why our national basketball team is playing like it's in a McDonald's High School All-American Game being coached by Jerry Tarkanian.

1) We can't make threes. True. Looking at the roster, it is possible this team was put together by a group of men who thought they were supposed to create the ultimate PlayStation team. There are no shooters on this team. Allen Iverson, that indefatigable long-range bomber, is not a three-point shooter. He can't even shoot 40-percent from the floor, let alone the arc.

You'll remember that at last year's All-Star Game, Philadelphia's representative in the Three-Point Contest wasn't a tattooed, corn-rowed baller, but a dusty haired white dude from Creighton named Kyle Korver. But to his credit, A.I. was there, jumping up and down on the sidelines every time the kid nailed the moneyball.

So no, having a baller lining up for threes is not a good idea. We were 3-for 24 against Puerto Rico, 4-for-21 against Greece and 3-of-17 against Australia. This team wasn't built for threes, although hitting a few would help. One friend of mine, after downing a shot of Jaeger, suddenly insisted that, "the simple addition of Steve Kerr to this star-spangled train wreck would bring home the bling."

Granted, he was smashed when he said it, but sometimes alcohol produces rare moments of lucidity.

2) We can't make free throws. We missed 11 against Puerto Rico, 13 versus Greece, and seven against Australia. And Shaq was thousands of miles away. But this is a skill that is routinely ignored in the NBA. There are a handful of teams that, were they to hit 80-percent of their free throws, could be NBA champs. But when they lose, the blame goes elsewhere. Nobody points to the charity stripe. They should.

3) We can't beat a good zone. This is patently false. We can beat a good zone. We just can't shoot over it.

4) We don't give a #%$*. This isn't true, either. Collectively, the team is worth about a billion dollars and it's true, money does take the edge off. But these guys all have pride. They hate to be embarrassed. Once they wake up to the fact that they are losing to a bunch of skinny white guys, they will care. They will most definitely care.

5) We just suck. This is partly true. We don't shoot perimeter jumpers well. We don't shoot free throws well. We dribble too much. And aside from A.I., we don't move well without the ball.

BUT...

We play great defense when they want to. And we are the best rebounding team in the tournament. And we can run with anybody.

Against Greece, an admittedly poor team, we did just that. The results were predictable. Australia began to force long threes once they realized that -- even with decent ball rotation -- they couldn't get open looks.

Once the bombs were launched, the Aussies were blown off the blocks for the rebound. Before they could recover, the USA was off and running. And usually dunking.

There's no need to beat the good European teams at their own game. We should play to our strengths, not theirs. Hard defense, tough rebounding, and transition. Larry Brown should tell his troops, "Let's play like the Pistons. Forget the threes. Forget your stat line. Just defend, rebound, and run."

At least then we'd be in the game, not 20 points out of it.

Stan Van Gundy said we should be able to win gold with NBA backups. He may be right, but only if they play together first. Our guys came together for five days then headed for Athens via Germany. Puerto Rico had been practicing twice a day for three months. Is it any wonder we got beat?

The fact is, our approach to the Olympics is arrogant. We throw a team of All-Stars together a few weeks before the Olympics kick off, and we expect them to thump teams that have been training like religious fanatics for months.

Will we win? Probably not. This team, despite its talent, has two things going against it. First, it has been seriously handicapped by the fact that USA basketball forgot to put a shooter on the team. Second, these guys haven't practiced enough while other teams have. With more time, Larry Brown could teach proper ball rotation, boxing out, defense, and transition. But unless they are exceptionally quick learners, it's already too late.

If we lose, then we'll probably start taking the Olympics seriously again. Kobe, K.G., T-Mac, and the others will sign up next time around. And we'll probably start winning again. We've still got the best basketball infrastructure in the world: the best coaches, the best athletes, the best programs, the best league.

All we need to do next time is plan ahead.