Mike Tyson’s Last Stop

Iron Mike Tyson was knocked off Friday in the fourth-round by a 9-1 underdog who occasionally cries before his fights. I never thought, even after the ear biting incident, the assaults, the battery, the rape conviction, the debt, and the ridiculous face tattoo (it's hard to tell kids not to play with markers when those drugs have you knocked out like a Danny Williams jab), that I would ever write that sentence.

Every week, I usually write about some topic in a witty (some would say), entertaining (I think one once said), and somewhat intelligent manner (okay, I made this one up). I call people out that should be called out and I say what should be said, all from the comfort of my glass house.

It would only make sense that Mike Tyson is the subject of my stone throwing this week after his debacle Friday. Everyone in the country is piling on, taking their shots, and throwing in their two cents (which Mike desperately needs right now, as well as any other cents you may be willing to part with). I just can't bring myself to do it.

The Iron Mike of years past was a force to be reckoned with. He was the youngest heavyweight champ that boxing has seen, and he had a lot of talent. People were afraid of him, and rightly so -- he was insane. He even threatened to eat children (which should adequately prepare him for his inevitable Fear Factor debut).

Boxing fans were stacking him up next to Muhammad Ali, pondering if Ali's speed would overcome Tyson's power in the fantasy bout between two of boxing's greatest. The sad state of affairs now, however, is that Ali might actually win the bout if they fought today.

Mike Tyson has fallen so hard that it really is painful to watch. Some argue that Tyson's demise should be enjoyed, since he brought it on himself. Others say that it couldn't happen to a worse person. To me, that doesn't change things. I can't help but feel somewhat sorry for him. He has been reduced to a waste of human existence.

One thing that does bother me, however, is that Danny Williams thinks he has anything to do with this.

"I knew they would come with something (referring to Tyson injuring his knee during the fight)," Williams said. "If it wasn't the knee it would be the elbow or something. The main thing is, Danny Williams beat Mike Tyson."

No, Danny, you are dead wrong. Danny Williams did not beat Iron Mike, Tyson simply lost to Williams. The main thing is that Mike Tyson beat Mike Tyson, over a period of several years, to the point where he is no longer recognizable.

Williams then proceeded to taunt Tyson in the media, claiming he wants a rematch so he can beat up Mike worse in England in front of Danny's hometown fans. Danny likes to talk about the "main thing," but he must realize that his "main thing" is that he is still Danny Williams.

He still cries before fights. And although he has 27 KOs, I think that 25 of them came while he was shadow boxing, with his only real knockouts being over Mike Tyson and Muhammad Ali (rumor has it he knocked out the legend in the second round ... while playing Knockout Kings on his Gameboy).

Nevertheless, Mike Tyson is in a sad state trying to fight his way out of debt. A friend of mine compared the whole saga to a train wreck that he just couldn't turn away from, no matter how gruesome. There is a lot of talk around the country about how Mike Tyson's career, and the circus that inevitably follows, is over, but the fact of the matter is that it is just beginning. Things will get far worse before they get any better. To me, Mike Tyson died in that train wreck. I am done looking.

I cringed while watching Michael Jordan playing basketball for the Wizards, missing dunks and missing what made him Michael, but at least he was playing basketball because he loved it, not because he was forced to by the IRS. Michael had some good moments during his return, as well. On the other hand, I would believe Willy Loman as a salesman before I would ever believe Mike Tyson as a boxer again.

I won't be watching during the highlights of Tyson's rematch with Williams. I won't read the articles in the newspapers about Mike, grasping to regain some of what made him the baddest man on earth, threatening to eat Williams' two young daughters. I won't take notice when he inevitably gets in trouble with the law again.

I won't be watching when Tyson sells his soul to FOX and gets involved with some insanely stupid reality show in which he fights 20 "little people" or hosts "Convict Island" or whatever FOX will have cooked up for him.

It feels good knowing that, unlike most of America, I won't have to be subjected to Tyson fighting bears or other animals at some freak show, and you won't see me writing about him when he snaps and goes Mike Tyson on someone in his posse.

Mike Tyson will go down in history as a good boxer, but he could've been great. Someday, many years from now, I will be walking down a street when a hulk of a man will ask me for some spare change. I will give it to him out of pity, and the man will then try to convince me that he is Mike Tyson. I will shake my head, and kindly inform the man that Mike Tyson died, many years ago, in a train wreck.

Mark Chalifoux is also a weekly columnist for SportsFan Magazine. His columns appear every Tuesday on Sports Central. You can e-mail Mark at [email protected].