McCool McRules

In 1980, the Miracle on Ice captured America's heart. It was a rough time for the U.S. during those Olympics, but the hockey fever that swept the nation was able to give the hopeless hope, to give the unpatriotic a reason to buy a flag, and was able to bring a nation together. African-Americans, whites, democrats, republicans, geniuses, morons, the cool, and the losers were all under one banner while following the U.S. hockey team: Americans.

Flash forward to 2004. War in Iraq, the very real threat of terrorism, and a poor economy has hampered the patriotism and pride of Americans. Reality TV has dominated the airwaves (we can thank FOX for bringing civilization down a peg) and Michael Jackson is now a child-molester, not a musician.

An upcoming presidential election has the nation divided, viciously at times. We can no longer look to hockey for a savior, as the sport is in shambles with a lockout, a player is going to prison for trying to hire a hit man to kill his agent, another player is on trial for a cheap shot, and it is simply not hockey season. But, to borrow a phrase from the major motion picture Miracle, "American needs something to believe in."

Americans would naturally look to the upcoming Olympics to find someone to believe in. Naturally, most people would look to the most famous people wearing the red, white, and blue: the basketball Dream Team. Unfortunately, many of America's top ballers are fleeing from the games. Kobe Bryant has a trial to attend to, other athletes are tired, and some are plain scared. These actions seem typical for another nation that sports the red, white, and blue, but not America.

Basketball isn't the only sport with a black eye, as the steroid issue has spread from America's pastime to sports' pastime. The Magnificent Sevens of years past have been replaced by the BALCO six. There is a light at the end of the tunnel, and I'm not the only one who has seen it. While grown men are making excuses to avoid representing the stars and stripes, pre-teen girls and young women are boldly taking up the banner for America. I think America has an athlete to believe in and to bring back patriotism, and that athlete is a gymnast.

I'm not the only one who thinks this way, as Pamela Anderson has bankrolled the training of 25-year-old Mohini Bhardwaj, who grew up in Cincinnati. The former Baywatch star believes Mo' is the best out there. McDonald's, however, is throwing their money behind another gymnast, Carly Patterson, the girl who is claimed to be the "next Mary Lou Retton." McDonald's produced 70 million bags that feature the face of Patterson.

Don't get me wrong, it's nice that these big names are supporting gymnasts, but they are supporting the supporting cast to the superstar. I know who will bring pride back to America, and it's now time to get on her bandwagon. I think she is the best of the best, has the best attitude, and well, she is just cool. In fact, she is Courtney McCool.

McCool was the runner-up at last year's junior U.S. Championships and took the silver on the vault at the Pan American Games. She placed second overall at the Olympic Trials, and is one of the elite gymnasts on this year's squad.

I don't really know how McDonald's messed this up, as Courtney McCool sounds like a fictional McDonald's character that should be teaching Grimace how to do a handstand. She sounds like a girl who would teach the Hamburglar to do a somersault (instead of living his life of a rebel by stealing hamburgers for Bartolo Colon). At the very least, she sounds like a former girlfriend of Snoopy's alter ego, Joe Cool, not like an Olympic gymnast.

Courtney is even proud to be representing her country at Greece.

"To be at this high level ... it's so intense, so exciting, to the point that there are just no words for it," she said.

Kobe Bryant didn't have words to describe playing on an Olympic team either, but that's mainly because he is slightly less educated than the 16-year-old McCool. Think of the message Courtney could send to her many adoring fans, "Be McCool, stay in school." This is a much better message than Bryant's "do what's best for you and don't sleep around in Colorado ... too much."

"I pray my actions are a good example for other girls in life as well as gymnastics," Courtney said. Hopefully girls will look up to her and not other female figures, such as noted stock market expert Martha Stewart (how does she always get it right?) or former porn star Cameron Diaz.

"I won't say that Courtney McCool will be the Olympic champion," gymnastics coach Bela Karolyi said, "but I will say that it's going to be an American, period."

Thanks for nothing, Bela. I will say that Courtney McCool will be the Olympic champion, period.

Courtney's biggest asset is her attitude. She has battled back from a few foot injuries to reach the pinnacle of her sport. "It's slowed me down, but nothing is going to stop me," McCool said. It's that spirit that will take her far. I am predicting that come the Olympics, she will be hotter than a Dale Earnhardt, Jr. practice lap. Now is the time to get on her bandwagon. I'm there, and "I'm lovin' it."

Mark Chalifoux is also a weekly columnist for SportsFan Magazine. His columns appear every Tuesday on Sports Central. You can e-mail Mark at [email protected].