Gold Medal Mess

I really don't know another way to put this, so I'll just say it:

Isn't there anyone else concerned that American athletes, participating in the Games of the XXVIII Olympiad, could be coming home in body bags?

We're less than a month away from the Summer Olympics in Athens, and I've heard more about the rings of Saturn this summer than I have about the very real, very dangerous threat facing Americans in Greece from local and national terrorists and criminals.

Athens is basically like that kid who buys the Cliffs Notes the night before the test, and then waits until he's walking to class to actually read them. Money is being thrown left and right to fix disturbing gaps in Greek security for the Games. But unless national or foreign terrorists have been waiting until they could get a good price break on nitro, it's certainly a case of too much, too late.

Consider:

Thousands of workers who constructed Olympic facilities in Athens never passed through a personal background check, a senior U.S. law enforcement official told USA Today. That means everything from detailed blueprints to cracks in the foundation of stadiums could have been leaked.

But hey, why scrutinize workers when you're already not checking immigrants coming through the borders from Albania and Macedonia?

Also, a $300 million communications/surveillance network was completed just two months ago. It will be used to monitor facilities like the main Olympic stadium, which is scheduled to be completed two days before Opening Ceremonies, according to the Associated Press.

Whoa! Slow down, boys ... you'll have a good 48 hours before people will actually expect the thing to be finished!

Greek officials proudly boast a total of 70,000 police, soldiers, and other forces that have been assigned to prevent a terrorist attack, at a cost of least $1.2 billion -- hey, look ... an Olympic record broken before the Games began!

But what will all these preparations mean if attacks have already been financed and planned? It was reported this week, partially by the Chicago Tribune, that some criminal operations planned for the Olympics had been "thwarted" thanks to intelligence gathered from Guantanamo Bay detainees. All this tells me is that the plan of attack for these Games is much older and more established than the security measures taken to stop it.

The unbelievable headaches of the Summer Olympics aren't limited to a terror threat, which based on geography and history could be greater for the Games than for either the presidential conventions or the election itself.

Amnesty International reported this week that the Greek government has violated multiple human rights in rounding-up migrants and homeless in Athens as part of its "security" measures. Athens authorities have also racially profiled Muslims "in the name of security," according to Amnesty. And on what grounds, you ask? Tough to say: Amnesty reports that Greek legislation on terrorism does not guarantee a fair trial, nor does it define what "terrorist acts" are. (Gee, where have I heard that before?)

It's amazing that the Greeks are cracking down on their own citizens. Keep this up, and who's going to buy tickets to the Games?

This week, Olympic officials are making it known that tickets "at fair prices" are still available for the locals to snatch up. How many? At the end of June, officials revealed that just 1.95 million of 5.3 million seats had been sold, according to Reuters. That's a gap larger than the total regular season attendance of the New York Yankees last season.

I know WNBA players are used to playing in front of empty seats, but this is ridiculous.

And what about those American athletes? Many prominent jocks have already stated, for one reason or another, that they don't want to represent their county on the world's greatest stage -- including Lance Armstrong, Ray Allen, Shaq, Jason Kidd, Kevin Garnett, Karl Malone, Kobe Bryant, Vince Carter, Elton Brand, Kenyon Martin, and Tracy McGrady.

The athletes who will compete in the Games still don't have any guarantees about their personal protections. While armed American security personnel will oversee a brief training camp before the Opening Ceremonies, Athens officials continue to claim that armed foreign security detail protecting athletes during the Games would undermine Greek authority.

(Safety shouldn't be a concern for the NBA players who choose to go. They'll be staying on a cruise ship six miles from Athens, and according to the AP, will be protected by thousands of special forces, gunboats, choppers, barbed wire fences fitted with motion sensors, surveillance cameras, X-ray machines, and detectors for radiological, chemical and biological materials. I'm sure that makes the 12th guy on the water polo roster feel a lot better.)

Maybe, in lieu of real security solutions, our athletes will simply dress in potato sacks and keep their American flags back at the Olympic village. That was (paraphrased) the famous advice dispensed by former USOC spokesman Mike Moran, who was quoted in the London Sunday Telegraph as having instructed athletes to keep a low profile and refrain from traditions like the victory lap. The USOC -- after bi-partisan backlash -- later released a statement claiming it would never instruct an athlete not to wave the flag.

But perhaps those running its pre-Games seminars, like Moran, would.

Of course, NBC wouldn't stand for platitudinous displays of muted patriotism. Its coverage stretches over seven channels, 1,200 hours, and a $793 million investment. By the Opening Ceremonies on Aug. 13, we'll all know the hometown, shoe size, and favorite "Friends" character for Michael Phelps, Jenny Thompson, Courtney Kupets, Jennie Finch, and Paul Hamm.

The question is whether we'll know how safe they are.

The terror threat at the Games is as real, frightening, and dangerous as the ineptitude of the Greek officials attempting to thwart it. Hell, judging from last week's massive blackout, all the terrorists will need is a good flashlight and they'll be two steps ahead of the law.

If an attack occurs, and American lives are threatened or lost, what will our response be? Do we pull our athletes from Athens? Do we declare martial law and send in Special Forces? Do we pin it all on the French?

There's no clear answer, no obvious strategy, save for one course of action:

Let's rule Richard Jewell out as a suspect right now, shall we?

Random Thoughts

Does anyone else find irony in the fact that Shaquille O'Neal is now playing for the city that gave us the South Beach Diet?

The Heat are, naturally, elated. They now have a 7-foot-1, 340-pound center in a conference where there are a hell of a lot more Tim McCormicks than Tim Duncans. Just listen to Miami forward Eddie Jones: "I never imagined that we would acquire Shaquille O'Neal. It's once-in-a-lifetime trying to get a player like this guy. It's an unbelievable, unbelievable move."

To which Shaq replied, "Eddie who?" ...

Almost-Senator Mike Ditka on gay marriage: "I'm not going to change, and you're not going to change me, no matter if some judge in the state of Massachusetts or the Supreme Court says it's right. It's not right. Wrong is wrong."

Mike Ditka
Wrong

Muhammad Ali was scheduled to toss the ceremonial first pitch of the 2004 Major League All-Star Game, but wisely deferred to two young fans. Pretty smart decision, based on his health. As a pitcher, Ali would make Steve Blass look like Greg Maddux ...

My favorite part of the All-Star Game pregame ceremonies was the way they had the players walk down through the crowd, slapping fans' hands as they walked down over the dugout onto the field. Even Barry Bonds pressed the flesh during his intro ... although I suspect this might have just been an elaborate new way to get someone to slip him his "meds" ...

My least favorite part of the pregame festivities involved "lucky fan" Tom Gray. This portly gentleman, randomly selected from the stands before the game, was given 30 seconds to throw one strike for free food for a year, three strikes for $10,000, or five strikes for $1 million, all courtesy of Taco Bell.

(Which, for some reason, has decided to add potatoes to some of its burritos. Every single fast food joint in America is getting on the No-Carb bandwagon, and Taco Bell is actually adding starch to its meals. I am now standing up at my computer and applauding the Bell. It's about time someone gave the finger to these Atkins pricks that are making it harder and harder for fat guys like me to get a decent, calorie-filled meal anymore. Now, if they'd only bring back Super Sizing...)

Anyhoo, this Gray guy gets to the mound, and has Nolan Ryan up there as his coach. In front of the plate is this large cartoon billboard of a batter and a catcher, with a hole cut through it to represent a strike zone. I say "represent" because if it were a scale replica of the current Major League Strike zone, it would have been 10 feet wide and about two inches high.

So Gray has 30 seconds to throw as many balls as he can, only needing five strikes. Normally, I'm not one to question anyone's patriotism, but there are a few things any American should be able to do:

1. Catch a football.
2. Dribble a basketball.
3. Throw a strike from the mound.

Of course, the Third Directive is difficult if you're like Tom Gray, and you throw like a girl. This guy has been a season ticket-holder since 1989, and he's tossing lollipops. I've seen more velocity in a 90-and-over senior league softball game.

So Gray is throwing balls consistently about four feet left of the strike zone. He's throwing pitches that seem to leave his hand and then never actually re-enter the television picture, like a bandito shooting his pistol in the air. Eventually, he sunk two soft tosses into the hole, and then actually banked home two more -- throws so horrible, they wouldn't even earn you a prize at the Boardwalk, but perfect for this event.

With about three seconds left, the thought crossed my mind that this guy might actually fail to get five balls over the plate in 30 seconds.

Coming from Mel Rojas or Mitch Williams, this might be expected. But not from "lucky fan" Tom Gray!

Then Gray loaded up and lobbed another one ... and it goes in. Gray starts running around the mound, pumping his fist like an "athlete" would. Nolan Ryan jumps for joy, perhaps realizing that Bobby Witt no longer has the worst control he's ever seen.

My only question: does Gray get $1,010,000 and free food for a year?

If so, he's richer than the Jeopardy guy'll ever be ...

And finally, the NHL released its 2004-05 schedule on Wednesday.

Word is it was printed with disappearing ink ...


SportsFan MagazineGreg Wyshynski is also a weekly columnist for SportsFan Magazine. His columns appear every Saturday on Sports Central. You can e-mail Greg at [email protected].



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